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Fairly Odd Cast: All Your Favourite Fucked Up Fairytales · Hocus Pocus Lack Of Focus

• 0:20
  Be a great others for jiggle, hocus pocus, Lack of focus.
• 0:23
  The very uneducational podcast that tumbles true topics like
• 0:26
  Jack and Jill after riding on that hill.
• 0:29
  Topics like witchcraft, true crime, fake news, paranormal
• 0:32
  activities, and everything weird in the world.
• 0:34
  I'm your local beast, Jussie, who has never kissed the
• 0:37
  Sleeping Beauty. Well, not since they started
• 0:40
  Hashtag and all about that stuff.
• 0:41
  And I'm joined, as usual, by our Hostess with the most breast.
• 0:45
  When she gets to the ball, she doesn't leave a slipper, she
• 0:48
  leaves a slobber. That's a Cinderella gag, pun
• 0:50
  intended. It's Daddy.
• 0:54
  Thomas. A long, long time ago.
• 0:58
  That's that's in. A land far, far away.
• 1:05
  What are we doing? Today, Danny.
• 1:08
  I think you'll all guess by that intro.
• 1:12
  So we are doing fairy tales today, but not.
• 1:17
  Act we're. Not gonna sit there tell.
• 1:18
  You. But it's fitting because I got
• 1:23
  called basically a disfigured monster by my Uber driver this
• 1:27
  morning. So, well, literally right.
• 1:34
  So I did a skin peel, right? For those of you who at the
• 1:39
  weekend unprofessional. Listen, I had to keep my fucking
• 1:44
  the noise on my phone. I forgot I got my car towed
• 1:48
  today so don't talk to me about stories.
• 1:51
  Oh, yeah, yeah. But yeah, so I did a skin peel.
• 1:55
  I have a horrible breakout because of the skin peel, which
• 1:58
  is normal after a skin peel, right?
• 2:01
  It is what it is. Got my Uber to work this morning
• 2:05
  and this, this Uber, he's like Danny.
• 2:08
  And I was like, Yep, didn't think anything of it because
• 2:11
  they know your name on the thing.
• 2:12
  Can you not play with that right now?
• 2:16
  And he, I was like, I picked you up last week.
• 2:22
  I was like, oh, did you like, I get a lot of your breeze, Like I
• 2:25
  don't, I had no idea who this guy was.
• 2:26
  He's like, yeah, but your, your skin last week was a lot
• 2:30
  clearer, a lot better. You're covered in spots now.
• 2:32
  Is did you have an allergic reaction?
• 2:34
  And I was like, I was like, I did, as a matter of fact, have a
• 2:41
  reaction to to skin care and this man, I'm so sorry for that.
• 2:47
  That cat's driving me fucking mental.
• 2:49
  Bingo. I was like, he proceeded to tell
• 2:53
  me the whole 15 minute car ride, what skin, what skin care would
• 2:56
  be best for my skin. Now, this is a very, very black
• 2:59
  Jamaican man. So I was like, I don't think the
• 3:04
  same things are gonna are gonna work for me that work for you.
• 3:08
  But I appreciate the help. And he was like, you still look
• 3:11
  OK. And I was like, thanks, that's
• 3:14
  that's even better. Like I.
• 3:17
  Still breaking out, man. Go and get something stringent
• 3:27
  for them spots girl. You don't need no ice cream.
• 3:33
  You need miracle. We made it less than 4 minutes
• 3:41
  without without doing an accent. Anyway, I I feel like Quasimodo.
• 3:52
  So it was only fitting that today we do an episode on fairy
• 3:56
  tales. Not fairy tales like just you
• 3:59
  thought it was right. So I think a fun way to do this
• 4:11
  is I'm going to tell you the dark version and I want you to
• 4:16
  guess what modern fairy tale this is what we have, right?
• 4:21
  Yeah, that sounds that's fairly, fairly easy to do.
• 4:25
  The Brothers Grimm, right? They put the Grimm in the fairy
• 4:29
  tales. Yeah, so the first one is going
• 4:33
  to be pretty easy. We'll start off pretty easy, but
• 4:37
  in the Brothers Grimm version, Ashton Poodle's father is still
• 4:42
  alive but passive, letting the stepmother abuse her, which is
• 4:47
  most fairy tales. I feel like.
• 4:51
  When the Prince comes with her slipper, one step sister chops
• 4:54
  off her toes, the other slices off her heel so that their feet
• 4:59
  fit. The deception is revealed when
• 5:01
  birds sing out the truth at the wedding, doves Peck out both
• 5:06
  step sisters eyes, permanently blinding them and the story is
• 5:11
  bloody justice feat and mutilation as symbols of female
• 5:15
  beauty standards. And This is why Disney softened
• 5:18
  it. Is that Pocahontas by any
• 5:25
  chance? Close with your whale.
• 5:31
  Course, it's it's a Cinderella, the aforementioned Cinderella.
• 5:35
  I did hit like AI have heard this.
• 5:38
  Like my understanding of fairy tales is right that they are
• 5:44
  like at least like the, the the old ancient kind of made-up
• 5:48
  tales of like there's a monster in the forest or there's a witch
• 5:51
  in the forest. Don't go down there is to
• 5:54
  frighten kids from doing things like don't go into the sea
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  because there's sponsors in there.
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  Like, you know, some kids from drowning and stuff like, but
• 6:02
  this me Cinderella, I never figured out what that because I,
• 6:06
  I had this same. I used to have like the big book
• 6:10
  of Roald Alsop and he had like his versions of it as well.
• 6:16
  Yeah, and he had his versions of it.
• 6:17
  So like I look into those like the originals as well.
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  And I've seen that the Brothers Grimm original where like they
• 6:23
  are cutting off feet and stuff and or cutting off the toes.
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  And because like I think rolled out, if I'm not mistaken, that
• 6:33
  he came up with our they tried to stuff their feet in and they
• 6:37
  ended up like cutting all our feet on the the because they had
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  big fat ugly feet, like, and then, yeah, I just couldn't
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  figure out what what was the moral story of Cinderella with
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  the I know it's like the ugly sisters, like don't be mean,
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  don't be a cunt, but like bloody just a pose and stuff.
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  It just doesn't make sense. I mean if you look at it like
• 7:02
  foot binding is essentially the same thing without mutilation
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  where they bind your foot to be like a little fucking hoof in
• 7:10
  China. Yeah, but what's the what's the
• 7:14
  lesson though? Did you know what I mean?
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  Like, what's this? What are they saying?
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  But are they saying like, if you're, if you've got big feet,
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  you're an ugly woman, Is that what is the way?
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  What's the lesson here? Feet.
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  And mutilation as symbols of female beauty standards.
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  I just. When When did the worst like
• 7:41
  these? These are very.
• 7:42
  They wrote it. Yeah, like it's medieval, right?
• 7:47
  Yes, let me find it. Are they the boys?
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  Are they Danish? Sorry, I shouldn't be asking a
• 7:56
  whole lot a whole lot question. No, you're fine.
• 8:00
  I'm. I just want to find out when it
• 8:02
  was written. When was this written?
• 8:13
  You know, I just can't imagine. Little Ash girl.
• 8:16
  The little Ash girl, which is fucking oh Cinderella.
• 8:20
  Oh, I didn't even clock that. That's really smart.
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  Ella being in there, being Ash. 1812.
• 8:29
  Ah, OK, so it's. Not like 1812.
• 8:32
  Yeah, so it's not mad or like I, I was thinking like, you know.
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  16. Hundreds or whatever.
• 8:38
  Yeah. So like, but so I'm wondering,
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  are they like they're making some kind of like commentary on
• 8:47
  beauty standards of the day then whereas like.
• 8:51
  Yeah. Yeah, I get it.
• 8:53
  I get it now. Like OK.
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  Yeah, I mean, I guess if people are willing to put themselves
• 8:59
  through like, I mean, because back then, wouldn't it have been
• 9:00
  like corsets and stuff that basically shifted your organs
• 9:04
  around your body because people would wear them that tight?
• 9:10
  Just go to fibbers. They're still there.
• 9:16
  So next one also has an evil stepmother.
• 9:20
  Don't they all like men can't move on?
• 9:23
  I think is is the moral of all these stories, like men
• 9:27
  shouldn't move on. Polly agrees.
• 9:34
  Explain, Explain. Men can't move on.
• 9:36
  What's what? What?
• 9:39
  Oh, it's because every single like one of these fairy tales
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  has an evil stepmother so it's like, well, it's your fault for
• 9:45
  bringing this bitch into her life.
• 9:48
  OK. Yeah.
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  So like. You're not my real.
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  Mom. Yeah, so this next one, the evil
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  stepmother, was originally her biological mother in early
• 9:59
  versions, a mother jealous of her own daughter's youth and
• 10:03
  beauty. So she asks for the girl's lungs
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  and liver as proof of death, which she plans to cook and eat.
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  The girl is killed by three attempts.
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  Bodice laces. Choking.
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  See bodice. There we go.
• 10:19
  Poisoned comb and finally the apple.
• 10:24
  So in some endings the queen is forced to wear red hot iron
• 10:28
  shoes and dance until she dies. So basically chat hook
• 10:34
  cannibalistic mothers the horror of mother daughter rivalry and
• 10:40
  death as entertainment at weddings.
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  So they made her dance to the death at their wedding.
• 10:46
  Yeah, I've heard about this dancing to the desk business
• 10:49
  there at the end of that one. I heard that that.
• 10:51
  Was like you think that was? Oh, yeah, sorry, it's, it's
• 10:56
  Pocahontas. And no, it's it's obviously Snow
• 11:00
  White, but. Yeah.
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  Yeah, I've heard this one before.
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  This one, This one is weird to me, but I've I've felt this a
• 11:13
  bit with women I knew where they have.
• 11:16
  No, not not all of them, obviously, but like there has
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  been some issues with like murder daughter relationships
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  and how it's a lot trickier than like like fat adult
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  relationships are a lot easier, I think, than murder daughter
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  relationships. I don't know, like it's as a, as
• 11:37
  a sis man, cisgendered heterosexual white man, I can't
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  really go and talk about what way, what relationships women
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  have with their their mother especially I don't even have a
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  relationship with my own mother dead.
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  So it's, it's a tricky one, But I've, I have noticed like in, in
• 12:00
  their, you know, past relationships that there's been
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  a kind of a contentious rivalry almost where like the, the, the
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  mother and daughter relationship.
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  It's kind of a case of where at least I know and I'm going to
• 12:19
  get like heavy and deep into this, but at least I know with
• 12:22
  my mother, she was like married and had her first kid by 21.
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  And I feel like when you look at your daughter and how times are
• 12:32
  obviously crazy different from when that was the case.
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  I mean, she had like my sister was like the fourth child and
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  then I was seven years after that.
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  And I feel like it's a case of where you look at your daughters
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  and you're like, that could have been me.
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  I could have been doing those things, but I was tied down at
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  this age and I was married and I did.
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  I think you're kind of like looking at a mirror of yourself
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  that could have been. And I think that can lead like
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  to, I mean, certain personality, you know, types obviously, just
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  really, really resenting their daughters and having like a
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  jealousy about it. And I think so my sister, we
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  don't speak. She's seven years older than me.
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  And I think a lot of that as well is like she's very much
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  fall fell into that kind of, you know, you live and work all your
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  life in the town that you're born and you meet your husband
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  in the town that you're born and you settle down in the town
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  you're born and you have your kids in town, you're born.
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  And I was very much the opposite of that.
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  Like I've been all over. I still like no kids, no
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  responsibilities, I do whatever I want.
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  And we never got on. And it was always a case of her
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  like bitching about what I was doing to my mom, being like, she
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  spends her money on this she's out doing that my mom's like she
• 13:46
  doesn't have. Children.
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  So it's like she is so jealous. Of me though my mom always said
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  it. She's like she is.
• 13:53
  She's jealous of me. She probably listens to this as
• 13:56
  well. As a hater.
• 13:57
  She probably was one of the fucking one star voters, you
• 13:59
  cunt. But anyway, yeah, so it's it's a
• 14:04
  case of that and it's just the I think it is like looking at that
• 14:08
  and being like, well, that could have been me because we're like,
• 14:10
  you know, and it's I think that's very, very common in a
• 14:14
  lot of mother daughter relationships.
• 14:16
  I don't think it's to the extent of, you know, I'll pay someone
• 14:19
  to kill her so I can be. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 14:23
  I'll get a I'll get a woodsman to bring her back my fucking
• 14:26
  lungs. The iron shoes are hilarious.
• 14:30
  We're going back to feet. They really liked feet back in
• 14:35
  the day. It sounds like they didn't like.
• 14:37
  Sounds like they did horrible things to feet.
• 14:40
  Well yeah, like fucking with feet I guess OK #3 so Talia
• 14:47
  pricks her finger on flax and falls into a death like sleep
• 14:52
  passing. King finds her and assaults her
• 14:54
  while she's unconscious. So now, right, we got it.
• 14:57
  We'll we'll we'll we'll get this out of the way first.
• 15:00
  In the original he does have sex with her while she's sleeping.
• 15:03
  Not the whole oh he's she's woken by true Love's kiss.
• 15:07
  Like no, she literally got frat boyed at a fucking party.
• 15:11
  Who loves? Dick, she gives birth to twins
• 15:15
  while she's still asleep. That's not in the fucking movie.
• 15:18
  1 twin sucks the flax splinter out of her finger and that's
• 15:23
  what wakes her up. So there's no romantic kiss.
• 15:26
  The king is already married and his queen tries to have the
• 15:29
  children killed, cooked and fed to him, which is.
• 15:32
  Fair play to her, I'd be I'd. Be the same.
• 15:35
  Eventually the queen is burned alive, which what did she do?
• 15:38
  She didn't do anything. She's out here, her fellas
• 15:40
  fucking unconscious girls and. She's the bad guy.
• 15:44
  OK, so basically sexual violence is romance.
• 15:49
  Sleeping women as objects of fantasy, basically a very Game
• 15:55
  of Thrones style political violence is what I would take
• 16:00
  from that, which is Sleeping Beauty obviously.
• 16:05
  Yeah. 100% thought that was poke on Tell me this.
• 16:14
  You think there's like obviously there's a lot of misogyny going
• 16:18
  on here. Back in the Times it would have
• 16:19
  been very patriarchal, as it is all the way through, all the way
• 16:24
  through times, except for now when men can't say anything.
• 16:32
  OK, Charlie Kirk. Fucking hell yeah.
• 16:37
  But do you think that there is kind of an attack on women here?
• 16:44
  Like what would the reason? Because like we're seeing 2 evil
• 16:47
  stepmothers, the evil queen now. Like what's what's this thing
• 16:51
  that the boys hated the women or what's the like?
• 16:54
  If you let women get into power, they're going to what?
• 16:57
  What's that? What is this one?
• 16:59
  What's what's going on here? So the king, who is the rapist,
• 17:04
  the scorned wife, the sleeping girl who was raped, of all of
• 17:09
  the characters, the king is the bad guy here.
• 17:12
  I mean, I, I don't think that the, the queen should, you know,
• 17:15
  try and kill and feed the kids to him, but like, whatever.
• 17:19
  But you know, women be shopping, you know what I mean?
• 17:23
  But like the man. This seems to be a kind of a
• 17:30
  thing in there throughout, like, even like ancient tales and
• 17:34
  stuff like that, that when there's a Randy man and he goes
• 17:39
  off and there's a bit of writing, the scorned woman
• 17:44
  always kind of attacked the other woman.
• 17:47
  And never like, like Zeus, for instance.
• 17:50
  Yeah. You know, like, yeah, like he
• 17:53
  went off and got maybe. Do you think this is kind of a
• 17:56
  little bit on the same lines as the Zeus situation that like he
• 18:01
  went off and got his rocks? Like Dionysus was like, what?
• 18:06
  Cut out of the mother's stomach? Yeah.
• 18:10
  And then he had to. Like, yes, that's exactly what I
• 18:12
  think of the ISIS situation. So yeah.
• 18:15
  Yeah, but this man, like, raped a sleeping woman.
• 18:18
  I don't think he's probably the type to be like, I must sew
• 18:21
  those children into my own body to keep them safe.
• 18:23
  I think he's probably. Just I'm not saying exactly I
• 18:26
  want. Me to worry about thanks babe
• 18:28
  I'm. Not saying it's.
• 18:31
  Exactly the same. Story I'm saying that like
• 18:34
  there's a parallel where like the guy goes off and it's all
• 18:38
  him. Like not this isn't even like a
• 18:40
  5050 thing. This is 100% him.
• 18:41
  He's after finding a sleeping girl he he mounts and
• 18:45
  impregnates her and then his wife is mad at the girl who was
• 18:50
  asleep and and she's vilified in the story as well.
• 18:56
  Yeah, but also so she had the the babies and didn't wake up
• 19:03
  until one of the babies started sucking at her finger and then
• 19:06
  she woke up. Like imagine waking up and being
• 19:08
  like what the fuck? Yeah, but like 54 states with
• 19:14
  Adam Sandler, do you think that he he would have he he'd have to
• 19:18
  have like a little storybook, just just just like a Punch and
• 19:22
  Judy show ready to explain exactly what happened all the
• 19:25
  way through, just as like a little a little punch.
• 19:29
  Sexually assault and Judy while she's asleep.
• 19:33
  But that's the thing, like if they had sex, like if that was
• 19:35
  me and if I was like trying to like basically do Adam Sandler's
• 19:40
  like role in that, I would have to like get out before she woke
• 19:43
  up in the morning. And not to be like you want her
• 19:45
  to wake up with some random man in her bed that she just
• 19:47
  remember. I'd be like out the window as
• 19:49
  soon as she fell asleep and started all.
• 19:51
  Over. That's what he did.
• 19:52
  So he so he, he was always up before her in the morning and
• 19:57
  left out the VHS tape and it ended up that they were on a
• 20:02
  ship. So imagine like obviously she's
• 20:04
  going to have some bad days there, but like she wakes up and
• 20:07
  realizes like she has a kid, Not just like like the kid is
• 20:10
  fucking not even a baby, like the kids running around.
• 20:13
  So like she. Wakes up and she's on a fucking
• 20:16
  ship in the Arctic with her fucking her brother, her father,
• 20:21
  some stranger who apparently knocked her up and brought her
• 20:25
  to the Arctic to study narwhals, what the like.
• 20:30
  Oh yeah, I'm going to get open a good mood every day.
• 20:33
  Not a chance. Yeah, but you know that if I
• 20:35
  suddenly fucking woke up and then I'm on like a great white
• 20:38
  shark expedition with some guy who's semi attractive that I'm
• 20:42
  like that I'm letting hit unbeknownst to myself the next
• 20:47
  day. Like I wouldn't be too mad about
• 20:49
  it. I mean this goes back to.
• 20:50
  You have with Marine. Autism.
• 20:53
  So like, of course you'd be happy with it, yeah.
• 20:57
  Like what's your name? Doesn't matter.
• 20:59
  Sharks. OK, that one, right, Next one.
• 21:06
  So in the Brothers Grimm version of this one, the witch discovers
• 21:12
  the girl is pregnant when she innocently asks her why her
• 21:17
  clothes are getting tighter. Innocently.
• 21:21
  It's like you're getting fat. What's going on with you?
• 21:27
  The witch banishes her and blinds the Prince who knocked
• 21:31
  her up. He wanders the wilderness until
• 21:34
  he finds her again, and then her tears can heal his blindness.
• 21:43
  Yeah, there's nothing about the main thing in this whole story,
• 21:49
  the whole selling point of this story.
• 21:51
  There is nothing about that in the grim version.
• 21:53
  This was added by Disney or whoever else.
• 21:57
  Yeah, so it's Pocahontas. Pocahontas.
• 22:01
  Let down your long hair. Yeah.
• 22:08
  Yeah, I don't know. Why this has become my running
• 22:16
  guide but. Pocahontas is brilliant I.
• 22:23
  Know I'm funny, but yeah. So basically hair as a fertility
• 22:28
  sexual symbol and pregnancy outside of marriage gets you
• 22:33
  punished. Female sexuality in general gets
• 22:37
  you punished basically in in this one, which seems to be a
• 22:40
  common theme with the Brothers Grimm.
• 22:41
  Were they were they grim in each other?
• 22:43
  It sounds like they were, honestly.
• 22:46
  Were they actually? Brothers.
• 22:47
  Or is it just like a a name? I'd say they were brothers.
• 22:52
  I think they were, yeah. But like, it's just it, it just
• 22:58
  seems like a weird one to me that every story so far it's
• 23:03
  been like like women are cunts like.
• 23:07
  Basically. Yeah.
• 23:09
  Like I mean. It was.
• 23:10
  It was the 1800s. All right, here's another one
• 23:16
  that's also on this one. My whole life I have identified
• 23:20
  with the quote UN quote bad guy in this one.
• 23:24
  So rigid and medieval famines where families really did
• 23:28
  abandoned their kids and sell them for like meat and stuff.
• 23:31
  This happened in, I mean, we talked about that on the Albert
• 23:35
  Fish episode. So in China during their great
• 23:41
  famine, kids were sold off for meat.
• 23:43
  China. So the witch is sometimes
• 23:47
  portrayed as a starving woman turned monstrous and then
• 23:50
  accused of witchcraft. In some earlier tellings, the
• 23:54
  stepmother and the witch are the same character, making it
• 23:58
  explicitly about parental, betrayal.
• 24:02
  Fairy tales encoded trauma, famine as horror, and how hunger
• 24:08
  creates monsters, which I like that.
• 24:11
  I like that. I think that's because that's
• 24:12
  not a grim a Brothers Grimm 1, is it?
• 24:15
  No, it is, isn't it? Hansel and Gretel.
• 24:18
  I thought it was Hansel and Pocahontas, no?
• 24:25
  Pocahontas and Gretel. Yeah, I think this is a Brothers
• 24:29
  Grimm as well, isn't it? Or at least like, but I think
• 24:33
  some of these guys might have repurposed some of these as
• 24:35
  well. Like they're that they're not
• 24:36
  necessarily just these boys coming up with the stories.
• 24:39
  I think they're like might have Disney that as well, like
• 24:41
  whereas like an old tale that they've written.
• 24:44
  I could be wrong though. I could be pulling that clean
• 24:47
  out of my ass beside my prostate.
• 24:49
  I, I just, I, I don't know where I'm getting that from, but I
• 24:55
  thought that might be a thing as well, that they were actually
• 24:57
  just repurposed and stuff. It feels a bit too intelligent
• 25:02
  for them and not just women. I mean, yes, she's painted as a
• 25:05
  witch and a monster and stuff because she was going to eat
• 25:07
  kids. But the famine is hunger thing
• 25:10
  is a bit. I don't think they probably
• 25:12
  intended that to be the way they're just like, we hate
• 25:14
  women, they eat children. Brothers in smell.
• 25:17
  But it does it does seem like all of these stories kind of
• 25:25
  have that same running thing. So I wonder like, was that like
• 25:29
  the thinking of the time or was it these just these lads in
• 25:32
  particular were like fuck, like women are evil.
• 25:37
  Like, you know, like you hear these stories where they kind of
• 25:39
  vilify certain certain sex, like, you know, like and like,
• 25:44
  you know, or like, or at least like they're kind of stereotype
• 25:48
  certain fucking certain like facets of society, like like the
• 25:54
  the kind of money hoarding fucking hook nosed Jew are like
• 25:58
  the the way Africans were vilified in like a European
• 26:04
  literature back when they were like trying to colonize Africa
• 26:08
  and stuff like that. Like is it, is this a way to
• 26:11
  kind of keep women down or like, I don't know, it's weird and I'm
• 26:16
  not coming from this from like a white knight kind of a an idea
• 26:20
  as well where I'm like. This is this is terrible that
• 26:23
  they're talking. About women like that, I
• 26:24
  couldn't give a flight fuck about these women.
• 26:29
  But women it. Just seems these I put these as
• 26:34
  like quotation marks these but like not.
• 26:38
  Like. But like, I'm not, I'm not doing
• 26:42
  this to be like this is terrible that it's, it's real like.
• 26:47
  These guys like they should. Empower women and they should
• 26:50
  get behind them. It just seems very weird to me
• 26:53
  that every one of these stories is kind of like the villain is a
• 26:57
  woman and the, the woman is a horrible witch.
• 27:01
  And also the main person in the story is a woman and she's a bit
• 27:06
  of a floozy. And then the guy in the story
• 27:10
  who can get away with just about anything.
• 27:12
  He's not necessarily the hero of the story, but like, he's the
• 27:16
  one that the light is shining like the king, the Prince that
• 27:20
  wandered the forest with his fucking the, the, the blind
• 27:22
  eyes. And like, you know, all this
• 27:24
  kind of shite, like you know, where the Prince is always kind
• 27:28
  of seemed to be like this kind of godly good guy.
• 27:31
  And then the women are either a feeble fucking idiots who have
• 27:37
  to be saved or the big bad. Essentially stalk them like in
• 27:43
  every movie, The Prince essentially stalks the the the
• 27:47
  woman like the ones that like feel like they don't even like
• 27:50
  look at like even if you go to like Hercules with Megara and
• 27:54
  Hercules and he just stalks her and follows her around, even
• 27:57
  though her job was to go and get him to do that.
• 28:00
  It's still very much like, but also I just, I have to just to
• 28:04
  veer back to to the witch in this story for a second, right?
• 28:07
  If I spent however meant like amount of time right building my
• 28:13
  own house and some little cunts from the village come out and
• 28:18
  start fucking biting lumps out of it.
• 28:21
  Like. I have no issue throwing them in
• 28:24
  the fucking furnace. So I'm like a strong independent
• 28:27
  woman who don't need no man, built her own house and she's
• 28:30
  just living in the woods. She's minding her own fucking
• 28:32
  business and these little gurriers just coming out
• 28:36
  thinking they owned the place or licking her own holes in her
• 28:39
  windows and. Everything this is typical doll.
• 28:42
  This is typical of women. They, they don't have a
• 28:44
  fundamental understanding of building practices because like
• 28:48
  you have to use a certain grade of, of timber, like you have to
• 28:52
  use grade C or, or depending on the, depending on the weather,
• 28:58
  like you definitely have to use like grade C or above between
• 29:01
  grade C and grade A Sadra pine and it has to be pressure.
• 29:05
  Treated as well if you want gingerbread.
• 29:08
  But this using gingerbread. Especially.
• 29:12
  Especially in a kind of a climate like Northern Europe
• 29:16
  where you know you're going to get battered by storms every now
• 29:18
  and again. And I understand, I understand
• 29:21
  that it might like, it could be a winter house and it could
• 29:24
  freeze and it could get solid and you might not.
• 29:26
  But like, still, like, what's wrong with brick and mortar?
• 29:30
  And especially if it's famine plain.
• 29:32
  And also, she's not using her fucking noggin either.
• 29:36
  She has a house made of fucking gingerbread and candy and she's
• 29:41
  cooking children like maybe, maybe other fishes, right?
• 29:45
  And the nicest thing you could eat is a child's ass.
• 29:48
  But like if you have gingerbread there, not a.
• 29:50
  Substantial meal. You get sick of gingerbread all
• 29:54
  the time. That's all you had like.
• 29:58
  Yeah. Maybe you're maybe you're right,
• 29:59
  Danny, but also like. Macros will be all over the
• 30:03
  fucking place. Just to circle back today to to
• 30:06
  the building of the house out of Gingerbread in the first place.
• 30:10
  Like at. What?
• 30:11
  Point. I will give.
• 30:13
  You that? Yeah, it's not.
• 30:15
  It's not. It's not anyways.
• 30:20
  Move. Moving on, I just.
• 30:21
  Hang on because I'm not going to get into.
• 30:23
  This with you again. What do you what?
• 30:26
  Do you roof gingerbread? It's weird.
• 30:28
  Though. Just.
• 30:32
  I think it was candy cane roof A.
• 30:35
  Candy cane roof How do you weather a candy cane roof?
• 30:38
  You know what I mean? You're going to be.
• 30:40
  Dealing with. People break teeth on them all
• 30:42
  the time. It's not, yeah, but it's not
• 30:45
  hard for Rain to get between the candy canes.
• 30:48
  Like, obviously there's going to have to be some covering over
• 30:50
  that. She hasn't.
• 30:53
  She hasn't off the range. Bitch.
• 31:01
  Never got a new show to quote. It reminds me as well of like I
• 31:05
  was just thinking of the best. Fucking one of the best tree
• 31:08
  House of horror episodes. Is The witch the easy bake
• 31:13
  coven? It's such a.
• 31:15
  Fucking good episode. And it's just like, it's like
• 31:20
  eat their children's, like we were just going to swipe their
• 31:22
  shoes. But eating children sounds a
• 31:24
  whole lot better. You were the 1.
• 31:29
  Who soiled my crops? No, that was go Fred this.
• 31:35
  Isn't it Fred Cauldron? Was that?
• 31:40
  I don't know. His second name was Cauldron
• 31:42
  because they thought she was just looking around the room at
• 31:45
  things like and then he shows. Up at the end I.
• 31:51
  Accuse goody bad wife. I was like, I always say.
• 31:58
  I was like, I was like, bye. Wishes.
• 32:00
  Thanks for not eating me. Yeah, you.
• 32:01
  Eggs are all right anyway. So earliest French versions, le
• 32:14
  Petit chaperon luge. No woodsman, no rescue.
• 32:20
  Red is eaten alive. I gave that one away.
• 32:22
  That is the red rider. Fuck.
• 32:28
  In in so in some versions she unknowingly eats her
• 32:31
  grandmother's flesh what the and drinks her blood before being
• 32:37
  eaten herself. The wolf sometimes asks her to
• 32:40
  undress and burn her clothes piece by piece.
• 32:44
  Heavy sexual predator undertones which is a little bit on the
• 32:47
  nose but basically early cautionary tale about sexual
• 32:52
  predators virginity and blame Disney's sanitized wolf versus
• 32:59
  the the predator wolf. So they were like no, a wolf
• 33:02
  will actually eat you and not. Wait, what did?
• 33:05
  What did? Disney do with the Red Riding
• 33:07
  Hood. I I'm just, I just wrote notes
• 33:11
  as a Disney version. That's just kind of what you
• 33:13
  assume with fairy tales. They didn't.
• 33:16
  Well, they did do. A little Red Riding Hood, but
• 33:18
  into the. Woods.
• 33:19
  What's what wasn't there? Yeah, into the woods.
• 33:23
  That was the one, Yeah, there was a weird.
• 33:25
  Fucking terrible. Yeah, yeah.
• 33:29
  There was. There was only in the.
• 33:31
  Huntsman with. Chris Hemsworth or.
• 33:34
  Yeah, that was. Chris Hemsworth, one of the
• 33:35
  Hemsworths. One of the Hemsworths.
• 33:38
  It's one of the Hemsworths, Chris.
• 33:39
  Yeah, one of. Them Chris, Liam or the other
• 33:41
  one, There's a it's the Hemsworths are kind of
• 33:46
  Australian scars. Guards.
• 33:49
  Yeah, I think there's three of them.
• 33:50
  Oh, the Scars guards don't get me start and they always add
• 33:54
  one. There's always a new Scars guard
• 33:56
  brother. Every like fucking six weeks
• 33:57
  and. It's just.
• 33:58
  Like that's what I'm saying about the.
• 34:00
  Hemsworth. There is, there's.
• 34:02
  Definitely another Hemsworth. Like a scars guard.
• 34:03
  Like a like a secret scars guard.
• 34:05
  There's a secret Hemsworth. I was talking to a guy before
• 34:09
  and his brother used to take his kids to the same daycare as two
• 34:14
  of the Scars guard brothers. And I was just like, I would be
• 34:19
  obsessed. I would insist on doing that
• 34:20
  school run every morning just so I could stare at you.
• 34:22
  Even the ugly ones are like, fucking hot as fuck because
• 34:25
  they're just big, tall Vikings. And have you seen that, like,
• 34:28
  meme where it's like the Colkins versus the skiers guards in a
• 34:30
  fight? I was like, my money would
• 34:33
  weirdly be on the Colkins because they're scrappy little
• 34:35
  rat men. And like, I think they'd fight
• 34:38
  dirty. Yeah, they are.
• 34:40
  They're they're scrappy. There's a link and.
• 34:44
  So I. Luke, yeah, he was the one that
• 34:48
  was going out with No, Liam was the one that was going out.
• 34:52
  Miley Cyrus, right And then he cheated on Miley Cyrus to
• 34:55
  January Jones, allegedly, right. So this one if the Queen can't
• 35:02
  get his name but. He was in Westworld apparently.
• 35:08
  Everyone was in Westworld, all right?
• 35:11
  If the Queen can't guess his name, he doesn't just take the
• 35:14
  baby, he sometimes devours it. When she guesses correctly, he
• 35:20
  rages and tears himself in half from groin to skull.
• 35:25
  Demonic bargains, names as magical power and grotesque
• 35:29
  punishment. What do you think this is?
• 35:32
  Rumble Hunters. Now, I don't know.
• 35:35
  I don't know the actual story of Rumble Silskin, I I've heard of
• 35:41
  it, but what is the story of that?
• 35:44
  If, if I recall from my days of being a child in the black and
• 35:49
  whites, he there was there was a deal made where they were
• 35:57
  spinning golden yarn. And I think it was if you could
• 36:02
  guess his name, he would make you some kind of fucking golden
• 36:09
  fleece or something like that. I don't, I don't know what the
• 36:11
  fuck it was. But yeah, his whole thing was
• 36:14
  like he was, he was basically a child snatcher.
• 36:18
  I don't, I don't know in my head there is there is some kind of
• 36:21
  yarn making. It's is it something to do with
• 36:26
  like the he snatches you in your dreams or something?
• 36:30
  So that's that's Freddy Hondas. It's.
• 36:33
  Freddy Krueger. Freddy Hondas.
• 36:40
  Yeah, No, I don't. I don't know the actual one of
• 36:42
  that, so we'll skip that. That's there's not too much on
• 36:44
  that. So this one.
• 36:47
  She gives up her voice, her tongue in some readings for legs
• 36:53
  that feel like walking on knives.
• 36:55
  The Prince falls for another woman, and the girl's sister
• 37:01
  offers her a knife to kill him in his sleep.
• 37:05
  If she spills his blood on her feet, she'll return to the sea.
• 37:09
  She can't do it, so she throws herself into the waves, where
• 37:13
  her body dissolves into sea foam.
• 37:16
  Christian moralizing, female self erasure for male love and
• 37:21
  body mutilation metaphor. Is this the the little native a
• 37:26
  little? Pocahontas.
• 37:27
  Yeah. Yeah, it is.
• 37:30
  It's a. Little Apache, yeah.
• 37:32
  So hold on, what's the what's the deal here with this little
• 37:37
  Apache? What's the deal?
• 37:39
  What's the deal here with So she's she's stolen out of the
• 37:45
  sea and her legs turned into knives.
• 37:51
  She gives it all up, right? So she gives up her voice, or in
• 37:55
  some cases her tongue, and then she wants to be with him so bad
• 38:01
  that she wants legs, even though the legs hurt like knives.
• 38:04
  She. Does it anyway?
• 38:08
  So it's basically about hurting yourself and like not being true
• 38:14
  to yourself for the love of a man, which a lot we've all done
• 38:17
  as women, a lot of women who've done that.
• 38:22
  But yeah, basically she and then the sister was just like.
• 38:27
  No one's ever changed for me, just so we're fucking here on
• 38:29
  this. They've all tried to change me.
• 38:35
  Maybe you should be. Maybe you should be less loud
• 38:39
  and more fit. That's kind of what I get from
• 38:42
  from from women in the past. But how do?
• 38:45
  They say that, though they have to say that in a nice way.
• 38:48
  Oh, no, it's, it's, it's overtime.
• 38:50
  It's a, it's, it's a gradual just kind of diminishing of your
• 38:57
  yourself esteem up to a point when I feel so bad about myself
• 39:04
  that I become a shell of who I once was and I no longer like
• 39:11
  looking in the mirror or listening to myself or.
• 39:16
  Just a joke guys. I actually that reminds me, I
• 39:21
  saw this tick tock the other day and it was like one of those
• 39:24
  like. I just bore my snore and they're
• 39:27
  like that. Reminds me of a tick tock
• 39:28
  myself. I'm trying to move on.
• 39:32
  It's very awkward. But basically so she, her
• 39:39
  friend, her best friend found her, her boyfriend of like 9
• 39:44
  months on like Hinge and they made a fake profile and like
• 39:51
  catfish this guy and they're like, Oh yeah, you know,
• 39:55
  arranged to meet it, like to have a date, whatever.
• 39:57
  So obviously he goes to like meet this, this girl at this bar
• 40:02
  and then they text him and they're like, oh, hey, I just
• 40:07
  got there and I left. I don't want to be mean, but
• 40:09
  you're a lot bigger than your pictures.
• 40:11
  I feel like you've catfished me a little bit.
• 40:13
  So it's not going to work out right?
• 40:17
  And then he's hanging out with his girlfriend later that night
• 40:21
  and he comes over and she breaks up with him and she's like, oh,
• 40:23
  you just let yourself go? And I'm just not really
• 40:25
  attracted to. So like within the space of 12
• 40:31
  hours they've given this guy like the worst fucking complex
• 40:35
  about how he looks. Yeah, that's.
• 40:40
  Serves him right. Yeah, like, you know, if you if,
• 40:45
  if you play with fire, you're won't get burned.
• 40:48
  You can have the actually. Like he'd.
• 40:50
  If we if if we detour here for a second, just just deleted all
• 40:55
  the apps off my phone. Not just in the last couple of
• 40:59
  weeks I've deleted all the apps off my phone.
• 41:01
  Do you? Want to Do you want to tell the
• 41:03
  gentle listeners? No, I just have that just, let's
• 41:07
  just say, let's just say, Speaking of fairy tales.
• 41:14
  There's one kind of there's one kind of happening right now.
• 41:19
  My mind has been opened. She has my full permission to
• 41:23
  beat you and I hope she she uses that permission.
• 41:27
  I. Really.
• 41:27
  She won't. She is a, she's a lovely,
• 41:32
  lovely, lovely, beautiful woman who has a life, delightful soul
• 41:39
  and a good heart. And she'd never beat me, I hope,
• 41:44
  and I'd probably let her. But she Speaking of all of this,
• 41:50
  all of this business, she is 100% a Disney adult.
• 41:56
  And I, I saw it in which I, I think it's a, like, I'm a, I'm,
• 42:02
  I'm, I'm a Disney guy. I I like some Disney.
• 42:06
  Stuff. Oh I love a Disney movie, but.
• 42:09
  This is the first. Time I experienced a like a full
• 42:14
  blown like these like I cord is. Needled.
• 42:19
  Yeah, I taught in the past like that I had met like Disney
• 42:24
  adults, like, you know, I've been to like a Disney World.
• 42:27
  I've been to Disney and Paris a couple of times.
• 42:29
  Like I like, I love our stuff. I fucking I love it.
• 42:33
  But I went to the Disney Store the other day with my my new
• 42:36
  girlfriend. Absolutely fantastic to say.
• 42:39
  And and it was I love. It sorry, I was just as excited.
• 42:49
  But it was a fascinating watch to see someone like I can't I I
• 42:57
  can never judge someone on like a like the weird fandoms and the
• 43:03
  obsessions that they have because like I'm into wrestling
• 43:05
  on Pokémon, which are two things that adult people.
• 43:09
  Pokémon. Are yeah, I, I, I know that
• 43:13
  Danny, but like you say that to like, you know, fucking you
• 43:16
  mentioned that the people on the building sites I used to work on
• 43:18
  that. That's are like what the fuck is
• 43:21
  wrong with you? But when I watched this, this
• 43:28
  beautiful Adonis this this. Adonis is a man by the.
• 43:36
  Way. Well, sorry, I meant to say
• 43:37
  that. The womanly one.
• 43:38
  What's that one? This beautiful Aphrodite, this
• 43:42
  absolutely magnificent, this, this goddess of a woman who I'm
• 43:47
  officially worshipping right now?
• 43:50
  I saw her. Cock is in his hand right now.
• 43:54
  It's not it's, it's very much it's.
• 43:57
  But I saw this woman who I adore walk into a Disney Store and
• 44:02
  turn into just a retard. I can't.
• 44:09
  Jesus. Christ, no.
• 44:13
  The. Excitement that she had and.
• 44:17
  Maybe. Maybe.
• 44:19
  No, but like. No, because that that just
• 44:23
  cancelled out all of the nice. Things I just said.
• 44:27
  The excitement she had. Seen Mickey Mouse like
• 44:29
  Disneyland? Oh, like I, I honestly think
• 44:34
  like that. Like, if we went to Disneyland,
• 44:36
  like she would scream with excitement at every person in a
• 44:42
  costume that I'd see. Like, this is like, well, like
• 44:46
  she was bouncing from all right. Danny can't.
• 44:50
  Like don't give the fuck in don't.
• 44:52
  Don't give it away, yeah. This is what you do.
• 44:55
  You take her to the Pokémon Centre and propose.
• 45:01
  This is what I like. Surprise motherfucker, this is
• 45:05
  romantic to me. Pikachu.
• 45:08
  Get a full pics. But anyways I was.
• 45:18
  Just trying to say. It was fascinating to see her
• 45:23
  how exciting that she got or how excited that she got for
• 45:26
  everything that she was looking at in there.
• 45:28
  Like, and it was, it was eye opening, but also like
• 45:35
  heartwarming as well to see someone have the kind of
• 45:39
  excitement for the little things in life.
• 45:41
  You know what I mean? Like just like the the the kind
• 45:44
  of sheer like child like enthusiasm for something.
• 45:48
  And I was like, where would I ever get?
• 45:50
  And I suppose if I did head to Japan and get to go to the
• 45:56
  actual like Pokémon stores and stuff like that, that I would be
• 45:59
  that exact child like, you know what I mean?
• 46:02
  Although like she did see me earlier on running around
• 46:04
  Forbidden Planet and pointing out all the different like like
• 46:09
  which superheroes were from where?
• 46:11
  Like I was explaining to her like there's Omega Red fucking
• 46:16
  he's like his powers are nuclear.
• 46:19
  And like I could see her eyes rolling into the back of her
• 46:21
  head with me trying to explain stuff to her.
• 46:23
  So like, I think it's a good match of two people who are No,
• 46:31
  she was. She was very happy watching me
• 46:33
  running around and pointing at superheroes.
• 46:36
  So yeah, I suppose we're very matched into.
• 46:40
  Children. And adult bodies.
• 46:43
  What's your favorite Disney movie?
• 46:45
  Who's your favorite character? Pocahontas.
• 46:52
  I really hope it is I really I. No, she I think it's hard to say
• 47:04
  because I've seen her bounce around, but I do think Mulan is
• 47:09
  her favorite. I fucking love Mulan.
• 47:13
  Mulan has to be like my favorite next to, well, it's my favorite
• 47:17
  like cartoon overall. It's like Monsters Inc, but
• 47:23
  like, you know what I mean? From Pixar and Disney.
• 47:25
  Exactly. I would say Pixar.
• 47:29
  Yeah, I mean, I love like Monsters Inc is so fucking
• 47:32
  funny. And you know what I miss?
• 47:33
  I was only saying this the other day, the Pixar movies, when they
• 47:36
  used to do like the bloopers at the end of each movie, like they
• 47:40
  should start doing that. And that was so funny.
• 47:42
  But yeah, then. Again, I I.
• 47:44
  But. It's like.
• 47:44
  The Bubs Life bloopers are the best.
• 47:47
  Oh yeah, they're really good. You've got James Woods just
• 47:50
  being fucking hilarious as always.
• 47:54
  And oh, watch that again. That'd be great.
• 47:57
  My Disney, my Disney is kind of a little bit different because
• 47:59
  I'm slightly older. So just as like the run of the
• 48:05
  1990s Disney movies came out. I was like.
• 48:08
  I'm a boy I was into. All.
• 48:10
  Those I can't well like, but you know what I mean?
• 48:13
  Like it was, it was kind of like I would have been interested in
• 48:16
  Aladdin and Lion King, but then like when Beauty and the Beast
• 48:20
  came out, I'd like to get Aladdin I didn't like.
• 48:27
  Jeez, I didn't. I also didn't like Beauty and
• 48:34
  the Beast. Like that candle.
• 48:35
  That pervy candle freaked the fuck out of me.
• 48:39
  Like, but I I retrospectfully I retrospectfully love Beauty and
• 48:47
  the Beast and I think Gaston is one of the best characters ever
• 48:50
  written. Oh.
• 48:52
  No. One fights like Gaston.
• 48:54
  I love Gaston so much. Well, he's just ridiculous.
• 48:58
  Like he's just the exactly like what we're talking about when
• 49:02
  we're talking about like toxic masculinity.
• 49:04
  He's fucking fantastic. Like this I wanted to, my
• 49:08
  brother used to say to me all the time, like, and just like,
• 49:11
  well, it was one of his like vocal stems.
• 49:14
  Like I'd say anything. He'd be like crazy, old Marie
• 49:17
  say crazy. Old.
• 49:18
  Marie. Out of nowhere.
• 49:25
  Like are you okay? Like me and my brother had this
• 49:31
  so my brother used to use me as his beard.
• 49:34
  So he's like like 40 like nearly 15 out this at this point.
• 49:39
  But like he used to take me to see all of the Disney movies
• 49:44
  because he's like weird if I go on my own.
• 49:47
  Like he's a huge Disney adult. He fucking like loves Disney.
• 49:51
  Any movie that came out like that he wanted to see that was
• 49:53
  like a kids movie. He would like just bring me like
• 49:56
  and then it got just a stage where like I was even like at
• 49:59
  the age where I'm like, I want to go see a fucking kids movie.
• 50:02
  And then it was like that whole thing.
• 50:04
  It's like, well. That's just too damn bad.
• 50:05
  It's like get in the car. I'm tired of this, grandpa.
• 50:14
  I remember, like, he brought me to see Harry Potter because he
• 50:16
  wants to see Harry Potter. And I, that was back in the day
• 50:19
  where there was an intermission because the Harry Potter and the
• 50:23
  Philosopher's Stone was like broke.
• 50:25
  It was too, too long and it couldn't all fit on the one
• 50:27
  rail. So it's like going to stretch
• 50:29
  your legs then go for a piss. Yeah, back in the day.
• 50:32
  And then I was the same with Lord of the Rings.
• 50:35
  And I was like, it was like on late and he wants to go after
• 50:39
  work. My mom was like, oh, mad.
• 50:40
  And then we brought me home. I was like walking in, like
• 50:43
  falling asleep at school the next morning.
• 50:45
  He's just like what she wanted to go see.
• 50:55
  I want to go home. It's just too damn bad.
• 51:00
  But like, yeah, he doesn't. We have like a bunch of the
• 51:02
  different like Disney stems. Like I'll say I've weirdly is
• 51:07
  it? Thor, but you're not king.
• 51:10
  Is that Thor? I say that all the time for no
• 51:14
  reason, but you're not king. Oh, what the fuck is it?
• 51:19
  From what? Thor.
• 51:24
  I can see it. In my head it's the old guy no
• 51:29
  we're talking about. I'm just talking about vocal
• 51:30
  Sims now. Oh, OK.
• 51:31
  Different movie. Anthony Hopkins in in Thor.
• 51:35
  Yeah, that's what it. Is if I.
• 51:37
  Then like there's. If I was.
• 51:39
  Like, oh sure, not King. Yeah, yeah.
• 51:44
  And then like just the usual ones, like crazy old Maurice,
• 51:51
  all the time, always. It's so good.
• 51:53
  My favorite Disney movie of all time was The Jungle Book and we
• 51:58
  had the the the old VHS tape and I had it worn out from watching
• 52:04
  it. And.
• 52:06
  It's just, it's impeccable, absolutely.
• 52:09
  Like it was when they were trying out.
• 52:12
  Like, so they they do a movie and base it around.
• 52:19
  They done it again for Hercules years later when people said it
• 52:21
  wasn't going to workout. But they base it around a music
• 52:25
  style. So like it was in like the swing
• 52:29
  and 60s. So they used kind of that jazz.
• 52:35
  Yeah. So exactly.
• 52:36
  Like they use, they use. Like exactly to use like fucking
• 52:39
  Louis Armstrong as fucking King Louis, like and and like the had
• 52:43
  like that the best a whole movie around that that singer side.
• 52:46
  And it's like a proper old Rudyard Kipling tale of like,
• 52:51
  you know, this fucking kid gets lost in the jungle.
• 52:53
  But like they're based at around like the the jazz, like, you
• 52:57
  know, jazz music scene that was happening at the time.
• 53:00
  And I'm the same like with them with Hercules years later, where
• 53:04
  they're like their best. All that music in 0.
• 53:08
  To hero. Just.
• 53:09
  That that. Well, every everybody said the
• 53:13
  Hercules wasn't going to like wasn't going to work because of
• 53:17
  the music style that they used. And they ended up getting it
• 53:20
  fucking wrong because Hercules was a big fucking hit at the
• 53:22
  time. I loved Hercules.
• 53:25
  Do you remember the game they had like a the PlayStation game?
• 53:29
  That was so good. I loved that.
• 53:31
  Yeah. It's great.
• 53:31
  Hercules are the great one and it's like you watch these movies
• 53:34
  back, sorry, go on. I was like adults and it's like
• 53:39
  the humor is like so for adults, like it's and I mean like, you
• 53:44
  know, you're going to break your your bring your kid because the
• 53:46
  kids just got to go and like it's bright colors cartoons like
• 53:50
  they're going to love it. But then like the humor is just
• 53:52
  fucking. So especially with the Pixar
• 53:53
  ones, I think the Pixar humor is like quite kind of like grown
• 53:57
  up. It's like, I mean, not as like
• 54:00
  kind of hardcore as like say The Simpsons, but when I was like
• 54:02
  fucking 5 or 6, I loved The Simpsons.
• 54:05
  I'm like, I had no fucking clue what any of the jokes were.
• 54:08
  I just knew that it was yellow. People like, Oh no, don't say
• 54:11
  that. Jesus Christ, if you didn't, if
• 54:16
  you didn't fucking point it out, that would have never been
• 54:19
  noticed. Well I just can't believe you
• 54:22
  pulled your eyes. That was weird.
• 54:28
  Because I was going to talk about Mulan next and it's.
• 54:32
  Walk in hell you go. You go.
• 54:37
  I. Don't even know.
• 54:39
  Yeah, oh, the the the adults of hidden yeah.
• 54:43
  I think Pixar has a lot of stuff that's like proper, like hidden
• 54:48
  embedded in in stuff like walks that are kind of like this
• 54:52
  Snooky in as well. And but like this is what and
• 54:56
  and not to to veer completely off, even though we have
• 54:59
  already, but like this is what I always base my wrestling around
• 55:02
  my my wrestling character. I used to hate doing family
• 55:07
  shows and love doing the over 18 shows, but it completely flipped
• 55:11
  after a while when I realized how much fun I was able to have
• 55:15
  at the family shows. Because my character who is
• 55:18
  fucking just a ridiculous, horrible human being that when I
• 55:24
  come out and I'm just loud and I'm shouty and like I'm just
• 55:28
  playing the generic bad guy, the kids are going to Boo you
• 55:32
  anyways. So for me, what I always reckon
• 55:35
  wrestling is that my character is there for the the the mammies
• 55:40
  and daddies to to entertain them.
• 55:44
  So if I can leave them laughing, the kids, the kids are going to
• 55:47
  react no matter what. The kids are going to sit like
• 55:49
  they're going to love seeing me getting beaten up and stuff.
• 55:51
  But if I can get all my jokes in that the adults are entertained
• 55:54
  and the adults are enjoying themselves, that's my job.
• 55:58
  Like you get me on that one, like a lot of what are like
• 56:01
  wrestlers will will come out and they'll like that's what I love
• 56:05
  about wrestling. It's very varied.
• 56:07
  Like so wrestlers can they'll wrestle so that they can have
• 56:09
  the most athletic match that they have and everybody will be
• 56:12
  entertained because it's this athletic feat.
• 56:15
  But for me, that's obviously I'm just, you know, fucking I'm I'm
• 56:20
  10 lbs of shit in a 5 LB bag like out there, wrestling in
• 56:23
  front of there in in front of families and doing it in a
• 56:27
  ridiculous way. So my whole and exactly what I
• 56:31
  try and get over for myself is that I am just there for the
• 56:38
  parents. The kids are going to react no
• 56:39
  matter what. They're going to hate me.
• 56:40
  I'm I'm a big loud character. They're going to hate me, but
• 56:42
  the parents are going to get entertained by me no matter
• 56:44
  what. Especially if you pull a
• 56:45
  microphone in my hands, that's when I'm like, give me that
• 56:48
  microphone and I am going to leave.
• 56:50
  Moms and dads leaving like they didn't just show up and sit down
• 56:53
  there and watch their kid get entertained.
• 56:55
  They were entertained at the same time by that fucking
• 56:58
  ridiculous spastic in army panties.
• 57:04
  Ridiculous spastic is like the best thing you could have said.
• 57:10
  I want to have my heads on here lies just see a ridiculous
• 57:13
  spastic. Right, let's jump back into
• 57:19
  this. So this next one.
• 57:21
  What were you in The Simpsons? Or.
• 57:22
  Was it great white shark? What was it?
• 57:26
  OK, where? Who am I?
• 57:33
  So this guy, it's a guy this time, marries multiple women,
• 57:40
  forbidding them from entering one chamber, and when they
• 57:43
  disobey, they discover his other murdered wives.
• 57:48
  In some, he personally dismembers them or hangs them on
• 57:52
  hooks inspired by real figures such as by I'm not Saying that
• 57:58
  and serial. He was a serial killer and a
• 58:01
  nobleman. Gilles de race de race Gilles,
• 58:09
  Gilles de Rey. I don't know how to say that.
• 58:12
  I. Don't know.
• 58:14
  Gilles de Race, Yeah, I mean. What GI double LES?
• 58:22
  Sounds like sounds like. Giles.
• 58:26
  Or. Giles Giles de Rey Giles de Rey,
• 58:30
  We'll say serial killer and nobleman.
• 58:33
  So true crime fairy tale. True crime, Fairy tale Domestic
• 58:39
  abuse allegory. Montessori.
• 58:46
  What the fuck? You just put me into like,
• 58:51
  here's some rhyme. Here's some words that rhyme
• 58:54
  with Corey Allegory. Allegory.
• 58:56
  What's the? Story.
• 58:59
  Totalitory. Annoying.
• 59:03
  Here's your story. What's the story?
• 59:06
  Morning. Parallels to modern coercive
• 59:12
  control. What do you think this one is
• 59:14
  this? I would have never got this one
• 59:16
  because I've never heard of this one.
• 59:17
  I've heard the name. I threw a real thing on this.
• 59:22
  One question. OK so he I'll read it again.
• 59:28
  He marries multiple women, forbidding them from entering
• 59:31
  this chamber. When they disobey and go into
• 59:35
  the chamber, they find his murdered wives in this in this
• 59:39
  chamber. In some he personally dismembers
• 59:42
  them or hangs them on hooks. Inspired by a real figure.
• 59:46
  That fucking serial killer guy. I I honestly I I'm drawing a
• 59:54
  blank here. I don't know this one.
• 59:56
  Never heard blue beard. I've never heard of it.
• 59:59
  I've heard it mentioned in The Simpsons.
• 1:00:01
  I've. Heard Blue Beard Pirates.
• 1:00:03
  But that's, yeah, that's what I was thinking.
• 1:00:07
  I like, it's not. It's apparently it's a like a
• 1:00:10
  fairy tale, a grim kind of thing.
• 1:00:13
  Never heard it. I don't know the I don't know
• 1:00:16
  the like PG version of this. I only have like the dare.
• 1:00:19
  Versions because every single scene what's.
• 1:00:21
  Super obvious to me. You can't make a PG version of
• 1:00:24
  this because like, like what's like, I can see like the Nuggets
• 1:00:30
  of corn at this. Loudly, yes.
• 1:00:33
  I can do it. I can do it right?
• 1:00:35
  You know that episode of Futurama where Leela thinks
• 1:00:41
  she's finally found the one other of her?
• 1:00:45
  Kind. Ed Ed.
• 1:00:49
  Ed O'Neill. Ed O'Neill, Yeah.
• 1:00:54
  Yeah, Who was Katie? Was Katie Sagal's husband?
• 1:00:58
  She played Peg and then he's hiding all these other women
• 1:01:03
  from her because he can shape shift into like whatever alien
• 1:01:06
  that he wants to. So he has all of these different
• 1:01:09
  wives and he plans like weddings to them on like different days
• 1:01:14
  and stuff. That's the one thing I can kind
• 1:01:16
  of like in this too. I think that you might be right
• 1:01:20
  that that might actually be based on this story because that
• 1:01:23
  sounds. Maybe.
• 1:01:24
  Like, way too similar Like. I think you might have nailed
• 1:01:27
  that. I can be smart sometimes.
• 1:01:32
  I'm well. Read.
• 1:01:33
  Natural. Cartoons to fucking fairy tale.
• 1:01:40
  That's the closest thing that I can think of.
• 1:01:42
  Like I've never heard anything like.
• 1:01:45
  No, I think you're dead. I think you nailed it.
• 1:01:46
  I think you're dead on well. I'm gonna have to Google like
• 1:01:50
  what the actual fairy tale version is of of Bluebird
• 1:01:53
  because. It's, you know, might not be
• 1:01:54
  because like, you know, like the pipe paper of Hamlin and stuff
• 1:01:57
  like that. Like you hear that story a shit
• 1:02:00
  load of names, but like Disney never did a version of it.
• 1:02:02
  Not that I fucking know of anyway.
• 1:02:03
  Yeah. Do I curse too much?
• 1:02:06
  I know what I just put, you know, I put a fucking into that
• 1:02:10
  sentence that I didn't need to I.
• 1:02:12
  Think we both do. I'm Irish, it's my culture.
• 1:02:19
  So be all right, OK? Blue Beard French folk tale, the
• 1:02:23
  most famous surviving version of which was written by Charles
• 1:02:26
  Perrault and 1st published by Bourbon in Paris in 1697.
• 1:02:32
  So it is very old. The tale is about a wealthy man
• 1:02:34
  in the habit of murdering his wives and the attempts of the
• 1:02:39
  present one to avoid the fate of her predecessors.
• 1:02:42
  The white dove, the robber bridge room and Fitcher's bird,
• 1:02:46
  also called Fowler's fowl, are tails.
• 1:02:49
  SIM. I've.
• 1:02:50
  I haven't heard of any of these. The notoriety of the tale is
• 1:02:55
  such that Merriam Webster gives the word blue beard definition
• 1:02:58
  of a man who marries and kills one wife after another.
• 1:03:00
  Oh, that's a term. OK, All right.
• 1:03:08
  Yeah. The verb blue bearding has even
• 1:03:10
  appeared as a way to describe the crime of either killing a
• 1:03:14
  series of women or seducing and abandoning a series of women.
• 1:03:19
  I have. How have I?
• 1:03:19
  I love, like, fucking my true crime stuff.
• 1:03:22
  How have I never heard of this? Blue Beard gives his wife Keith
• 1:03:26
  the castle, blah blah blah. Is pink bearding what you do
• 1:03:30
  then? Yeah, there's.
• 1:03:38
  Keep a light on, that's what I I.
• 1:03:40
  Was just trying to make a little joke.
• 1:03:42
  Fuck me. No, it's a dark that's again,
• 1:03:46
  I'll go back to The Simpsons. It's Lisa's wedding.
• 1:03:50
  It's like, what's that joke? I don't know, but I laughed just
• 1:03:52
  in case, ha ha ha. It's.
• 1:03:55
  Good to hear a boisterous American laugh.
• 1:04:02
  That's another vocal SIM. I gets me brain medicine from
• 1:04:05
  the National. Health.
• 1:04:12
  Master, you has found a new love.
• 1:04:18
  Alright, I'm not doing this OK, But some scholars interpret the
• 1:04:25
  Bluebird stories as a fable preaching obedience to wives.
• 1:04:30
  Folklorist Maria Taylor has suggested that the tale
• 1:04:34
  encourages women not to unquestioningly follow
• 1:04:37
  patriarchal rules. Women breaking men's rules and
• 1:04:40
  the fairy tale can be seen as a metaphor for women breaking
• 1:04:43
  society's rules and being punished for their
• 1:04:45
  transgression. The key can be seen as a sign of
• 1:04:48
  disobedience or transgression. So the key basically he gives
• 1:04:51
  her the key to his castle and he can go into.
• 1:04:53
  She's given the permission to go into any room apart from this
• 1:04:56
  chamber that all his dead wives are in.
• 1:04:59
  It can also be seen as a sign that one should not trust their
• 1:05:02
  husband. Taylor, however, goes on to
• 1:05:04
  speak of Blue Beard as something of a.
• 1:05:06
  Beauty and the Beast narrative. The original Beauty and the
• 1:05:11
  Beast tale by. Why are all the French writing
• 1:05:15
  these. Jean Marie Le Prince du Bot is
• 1:05:19
  said to be a story created. That sounds very.
• 1:05:22
  French. I did all I have to go is
• 1:05:25
  mermaid from there but. That's.
• 1:05:28
  It can't be based. On Beauty and the Beast, because
• 1:05:35
  I already have Beauty and the Beast on this list.
• 1:05:37
  So which it does seem very interesting.
• 1:05:40
  I would actually kind of, I think I would like to to watch
• 1:05:43
  that Lifetime movie, yeah. Oh fuck.
• 1:05:48
  Fuck. You.
• 1:05:48
  I have it. I know what it is now.
• 1:05:50
  I know what it is now. Ted in Buffy.
• 1:05:54
  It's literally Ted in Buffy. It's the robot John Ritter.
• 1:05:58
  And he starts going out with Buffy's mom, right?
• 1:06:02
  And then they go and investigate his house.
• 1:06:04
  And then they find literally a closet full of his dead wives.
• 1:06:08
  Because he's a robot. He's been around since the
• 1:06:09
  fucking 60s and, yeah, and he's like, literally, he doesn't let
• 1:06:13
  her go to his house or anything. And he's trying to get Buffy out
• 1:06:16
  of the way and kill her off because she's interfering.
• 1:06:19
  And he just wants to keep having wives and killing them.
• 1:06:22
  And. And yeah, that's that's another
• 1:06:24
  thing. So yeah, blue beard, Ted, if you
• 1:06:27
  watch that episode, Season 2, Buffy, very, very good episode.
• 1:06:31
  RIP John Ritter, a great man. Yeah.
• 1:06:35
  OK Oh, yeah, 100 percent, 100%. All right, so any who #10 then
• 1:06:50
  this is your favorite One originate tale is old time women
• 1:06:55
  shagging big dogs. Originates from tales of girls
• 1:07:00
  sold into marriages with much older men.
• 1:07:03
  In earlier versions, the beast is more monster than man, and
• 1:07:07
  the story emphasizes obedience and gratitude.
• 1:07:10
  Stockholm Still Stockholm syndrome origins and how the
• 1:07:17
  tale romanticize captivity, basically.
• 1:07:22
  But he buys her a No he doesn't. He gives her a library.
• 1:07:26
  Like what more does she want? In the Disney.
• 1:07:29
  Version like it doesn't say that he doesn't do it in the in the
• 1:07:34
  the original version. If someone bought me a.
• 1:07:36
  Fucking like gaming library? I'd be like.
• 1:07:40
  Thanks bro, I'm I'm in a castle, I've got the fucking PS-5 in any
• 1:07:45
  game I could possibly ever want. I'll fuck a dog, you know what I
• 1:07:48
  mean? Like, oh, like I'll put out
• 1:07:50
  every now and again for that. That's fine.
• 1:07:51
  Do. You think I would fuck a dog?
• 1:07:54
  Fuck. A very ugly man, is what I'm
• 1:07:55
  trying to say. The little red red rocket.
• 1:08:00
  You have like it has to come out of the hairy little, hairy
• 1:08:04
  little the. Sheath.
• 1:08:10
  That's another word I hate. Sheath.
• 1:08:13
  You think, I think after he owns sheets and he rides her like do
• 1:08:19
  you think after he he he tries to get off her and then they.
• 1:08:23
  Get stuck together. And you have to get a basin of
• 1:08:26
  water and throw it over them. And he like flips around and is
• 1:08:29
  like. They're both just back.
• 1:08:31
  To back like get off you. Get off, it's not my fault I
• 1:08:37
  have a barbed. Penis.
• 1:08:40
  You should have known that when you wrote a dog Man.
• 1:08:44
  I thought that was cats. I know cats do.
• 1:08:48
  But that's that's how it gets locked in there.
• 1:08:51
  So they I was. Just gonna say this is probably
• 1:08:54
  one of the better episodes. We're just talking about dog
• 1:08:57
  cock. I was saying, I was thinking to
• 1:09:02
  myself this, this is kind of a, it's just, this is kind of a.
• 1:09:06
  Slow burn. Kind of an episode, but now that
• 1:09:08
  we're talking about dog cock. I really just.
• 1:09:14
  Got to stick with it. Just let it fill just if you
• 1:09:19
  made it this if you if you. Made it this far.
• 1:09:26
  Congratulations, now it's good if you tuned out after 20
• 1:09:30
  minutes. We also do not blame you, but
• 1:09:33
  you're missing. Out you listen.
• 1:09:34
  To this for an hour and 10 minutes, you're being rewarded
• 1:09:37
  with dog cock. Fucking them.
• 1:09:47
  Hell, this. Is good.
• 1:09:49
  I'm just, I can't like I'm just I'm wondering like the like,
• 1:09:56
  would you have to get like neutered?
• 1:09:58
  And then the beast has that big collar on so he doesn't lick at
• 1:10:01
  his own balls, we assume. Going around humping that
• 1:10:05
  teapot? Yeah.
• 1:10:09
  Come here, Mrs. Potts. And your little son.
• 1:10:12
  Ship. Like all the all the pillows?
• 1:10:15
  On the couch just have these fucking horrified faces because
• 1:10:18
  he keeps humping the fucking sentient furniture.
• 1:10:23
  Fucking Candlestick has like bite marks.
• 1:10:25
  In it because he just. Beasts stop having sex with the
• 1:10:32
  furniture, they have souls. Why am I laughing like so?
• 1:10:44
  Show up. You know, do you know what's
• 1:10:49
  that? None of the none of the books.
• 1:10:51
  This is 1 funny turn, but none of the books are sentient.
• 1:10:55
  Our library that she had like so every other piece, like every
• 1:10:58
  everything else in the house, like talks to her, but he got
• 1:11:00
  her a library and like none of the books talked to her.
• 1:11:06
  That's really taking the air out this fucking phone.
• 1:11:12
  Sorry guys, sorry, I had a thought that wasn't bestiality.
• 1:11:18
  What was the movie that had the talking book?
• 1:11:20
  Oh, Macaulay Culkin, the Pagemaster.
• 1:11:23
  Pagemaster yeah, I do remember that.
• 1:11:26
  Actually and you've. You've just sparked back a
• 1:11:28
  memory from the fucking 90s to me about a boy hitting his head
• 1:11:32
  and then looking up at a very colourful, a very colourful
• 1:11:36
  ceiling. And then he enters a bunch of
• 1:11:38
  books where one book is a pirate and there's another.
• 1:11:42
  Yeah. Fuck, where would I?
• 1:11:45
  Find that I need to see this movie.
• 1:11:48
  I think it's on Disney, Disney Plus.
• 1:11:50
  Well, we're boycotting Disney. We're not boycotting Disney.
• 1:11:52
  But yeah, what was he gonna say? Actually, that's that's made
• 1:11:56
  that pop back into my head. I was going to ask you earlier
• 1:11:59
  and we got off the top Roald Dahl.
• 1:12:04
  What is the book with the ugly couple and one of them?
• 1:12:08
  Had a woman. Had a glass eye I think what
• 1:12:11
  it's called. The twits.
• 1:12:15
  The twits, that's what it is. I couldn't think of it.
• 1:12:17
  I remember she used to like pop her eyeball out and like, roll
• 1:12:20
  it at people and scare them. Yeah, I would do that too if I
• 1:12:23
  had a glass light. Yeah, I need to.
• 1:12:25
  I need to. I got my rolled owl and yes,
• 1:12:28
  yeah, let's go. Next, I've never heard of this
• 1:12:32
  one either, but I will say I'll get into laughter.
• 1:12:37
  So a stepmother kills her stepson, chops him up and makes
• 1:12:41
  a Stew, and his father unknowingly eats it.
• 1:12:46
  The boy reincarnates as a bird, kills the stepmother with a
• 1:12:50
  millstone. What is a millstone?
• 1:12:53
  A millstone is a big granite stone that they use for grinding
• 1:12:56
  corn into dust so they can make flour.
• 1:13:00
  OK, I get you. Kills her with a millstone and
• 1:13:04
  he transforms back into. A boy, A corn.
• 1:13:07
  Wheat, wheat, wheat. Cool wheat.
• 1:13:15
  You're being weird. Yeah, a lot of cannibalism.
• 1:13:22
  A lot of cannibalism in these in.
• 1:13:25
  These. This one.
• 1:13:31
  What What, what what what fucking what fairy tale is this?
• 1:13:36
  This is getting me. I'll give you a hint that you
• 1:13:39
  won't have any, you won't be able to piece it together, but
• 1:13:42
  it's just really interesting that I use these berries in
• 1:13:47
  spells of time. Raspberries.
• 1:13:54
  But. I.
• 1:13:57
  Fucking I don't know. That come from a tree.
• 1:14:04
  All berries come from fucking trees.
• 1:14:09
  Bushes mostly, but. Yeah, well, tree Bush tomato or
• 1:14:13
  tomato? Branch fucking grass.
• 1:14:19
  I don't know what is it. It's.
• 1:14:24
  AI know I've never heard of it so I'm not going to.
• 1:14:27
  OK, Yeah. What?
• 1:14:28
  What is it? What's?
• 1:14:29
  What are we? Talking about the juniper tree.
• 1:14:32
  The juniper tree. I've heard of this.
• 1:14:34
  The juniper. Juniper berries.
• 1:14:36
  Yeah, Yeah, I've heard of it. Like, obviously I've heard the
• 1:14:40
  universe. I don't know if I've heard of
• 1:14:42
  that fairy tale. Yeah, I've never heard of it
• 1:14:47
  either. Like I've never.
• 1:14:48
  And the bird thing is really weird.
• 1:14:51
  Yeah. I wonder if you go to like
• 1:14:55
  Central Europe or you know, like the continents do, they are the
• 1:14:59
  more familiar with these kind of fairy tales because like we
• 1:15:03
  would have the main ones because of like Disney and the
• 1:15:06
  storybooks. But we have our own kind of
• 1:15:08
  weird ancient tales ourselves that we kind of, we didn't get
• 1:15:13
  mixed up in these European fairy tales.
• 1:15:18
  Maybe I don't. Maybe.
• 1:15:19
  Maybe. I'm I've never I'll just I'll
• 1:15:24
  say it to you now. The rest of this list, I've
• 1:15:27
  never heard of any of them. So what are we on?
• 1:15:36
  We're on #11 and we've got no, this is 11.
• 1:15:43
  Oh, OK. Yeah, sorry, sorry.
• 1:15:45
  We're on #11 and we've got 10 more to go and I've never heard
• 1:15:48
  of any of them so. Well, this is going to be
• 1:15:52
  interesting, listening to the viewers of us talking about
• 1:15:55
  stories like, I should say, listeners, not viewers.
• 1:15:59
  I. Mean they're interesting.
• 1:16:03
  OK, yeah, let's let's call for it then.
• 1:16:04
  I want to hear what like people were fucking saying to their
• 1:16:08
  kids back, like talking their kids in the bed in the fucking
• 1:16:12
  AD Yeah, I mean with these horrible stories.
• 1:16:15
  Oh, the. Guys, just guys just sent me a
• 1:16:18
  video of him jerking off. I'm gonna watch this.
• 1:16:21
  Let's see if there's going to want to see.
• 1:16:23
  If there's a guys just sent me a video of him jerking off, I want
• 1:16:26
  to play it and see if there's sound.
• 1:16:28
  Can you hear sound? I can't because I've got my
• 1:16:29
  headphones on, so I'm going to put it into the mic.
• 1:16:32
  This is like OK. OK, well.
• 1:16:35
  Here we go. This is what the content is now.
• 1:16:37
  Oh. He's just slap I stroking it now
• 1:16:43
  OK we're. Just slapping.
• 1:16:44
  Around a bit. All right, Sorry.
• 1:16:46
  That's. Nice.
• 1:16:49
  Nice. So this is called.
• 1:16:56
  We're just. Going to deal with we're.
• 1:16:57
  Just going to gloss over that Harry are.
• 1:16:59
  You just. You just played a video of a man
• 1:17:03
  masturbating into the microphone.
• 1:17:06
  Yeah. That's all right #11.
• 1:17:13
  This is now this is now turned into porn, right?
• 1:17:18
  So the rubber bridge room. A girl is betrothed to a rich
• 1:17:24
  man who lures her to his house in the woods.
• 1:17:27
  Why does he have to lure? Her if they're already
• 1:17:29
  betrothed, that don't make no sense by her.
• 1:17:32
  She discovers he and his companions are cannibals who
• 1:17:36
  kill and eat women. She escapes and exposes him at
• 1:17:41
  their wedding. She she escapes and then still
• 1:17:46
  marries him and then exposes him at the wedding feast.
• 1:17:52
  That makes no sense. This is she's stupid.
• 1:17:54
  She should have been eaten. That's stupid.
• 1:17:58
  Fairy tale as a Horror Story parallel to serial killers and
• 1:18:05
  the Grimm brothers. Wrote because of course they
• 1:18:07
  fucking did. Creepy perverts.
• 1:18:10
  But wrote to a rich man who lures her to his house in the
• 1:18:13
  woods. Discovers he and his companions
• 1:18:15
  are cannibal to kill and eat women.
• 1:18:18
  She escapes and exposes him at her at their wedding feast.
• 1:18:23
  But why does she? Why does she go back and marry
• 1:18:26
  him? Why would you do that?
• 1:18:29
  I have no sympathy for this character.
• 1:18:31
  I feel like we're missing a good chunk of whatever the fuck this
• 1:18:35
  story is. I'm gonna, I'm gonna Google it,
• 1:18:39
  OK? What, like I don't, I just don't
• 1:18:47
  get any of that story, really. Right.
• 1:18:50
  Rubber bridge room German. Obviously fucking.
• 1:18:54
  We should have guessed that. Are you fucking kidding me, you
• 1:18:58
  retard? Sorry you're all cuddling when
• 1:19:02
  you're a cat and I'm fucking yelling at mine.
• 1:19:06
  Are you done? Are you done?
• 1:19:10
  Yeah. You hurt your paw.
• 1:19:11
  Oh, fuck you fucking adopted retard.
• 1:19:14
  All right, OK. Rubber bridge room German
• 1:19:17
  fairies he is adopted under retard German fairy tale
• 1:19:24
  collected by the Brothers Grimm tale #40 Joseph Jacobs included
• 1:19:29
  a variant Mr. fox with the original oh so it's Shakespeare
• 1:19:35
  1599 alludes to Mr. Fox we're saying we don't understand any
• 1:19:43
  of these stories. But it was written by people who
• 1:19:46
  shat in balls and threw it out the window.
• 1:19:47
  So like, are we like this is this is the like, this is the
• 1:19:52
  time that these stories are being being built.
• 1:19:55
  But Much Ado About Nothingness is that that was supposed to be
• 1:19:58
  some kind of fascicle comedy, right?
• 1:20:01
  Yes, so this this guy who is the murderer was a character in much
• 1:20:08
  to do about nothing. It's kind of based on that
• 1:20:10
  character, but I'm guessing it didn't go into I mean, I guess
• 1:20:15
  it's kind of like you could say it's a spinoff from much to do
• 1:20:18
  about nothing. So a wait, no, I was going to
• 1:20:24
  say a Miller, but it's a Miller wishes to marry his daughter off
• 1:20:29
  and so when a rich suitor appears, he betrothes her to him
• 1:20:32
  one day. The suitor complaints that the
• 1:20:34
  daughter never visits him. Oh OK.
• 1:20:37
  This is back in the days where it's like an arranged marriage I
• 1:20:41
  guess. He tells her that he lives in
• 1:20:43
  the forest and overrides her reluctance to visit by telling
• 1:20:47
  her he will leave a trail of ashes so she could find his
• 1:20:50
  home. She fills her pockets with peas
• 1:20:53
  and lentils and marks the trail with them as she follows the
• 1:20:56
  ashes, which in the forest they're going to be eaten by
• 1:20:58
  birds. Peas and lentils is the worst
• 1:21:00
  thing you could drop to fucking anyway.
• 1:21:04
  Pretty Hansel and grateful as well.
• 1:21:05
  A derivative like they let their.
• 1:21:09
  Crumbs in there. Yeah, they lead her to a dark
• 1:21:13
  and silent house A bird in a cage calls out turn back, turn
• 1:21:16
  back, thou Bunny bride. Nor in this House of death,
• 1:21:19
  abide. Shakespeare was a fucking mental
• 1:21:22
  case. An old woman in a cellar kitchen
• 1:21:25
  tells her that the people there will kill and eat her unless the
• 1:21:30
  old woman protects her and hides her behind a cask.
• 1:21:33
  A band of robbers arrives with a young woman, whom they kill and
• 1:21:37
  prepare to eat. When one chops off a finger to
• 1:21:40
  get at the golden ring on it. The finger and ring fly through
• 1:21:43
  the air and land in the lap of the hiding woman.
• 1:21:46
  The old woman discourages the group from searching for it
• 1:21:49
  because neither the finger nor the ring are likely to run away,
• 1:21:52
  and they'll find it in the morning.
• 1:21:54
  The old woman then drugs the robber's wine.
• 1:21:57
  As soon as they fall asleep, the two living women flee.
• 1:22:01
  Although wind has blown away, the ashes that guided the
• 1:22:03
  Miller's daughter to the head I know have sprung up into
• 1:22:08
  seedlings, and the two follow the path of plants and reach the
• 1:22:11
  young woman's home. When the wedding day arrives and
• 1:22:14
  the guests are telling stories, the bridegroom urges the young
• 1:22:18
  woman to tell a story She says she will tell of a dream she had
• 1:22:23
  and tells the story of going to the murderer's den in between
• 1:22:26
  each sentence, saying this was only a dream, My love.
• 1:22:28
  When she tells the pirate of the finger falling into her lap, she
• 1:22:31
  produces the finger. The robber bridegroom and all
• 1:22:34
  his band members are subsequently put to death.
• 1:22:37
  How was that a fairy tale? I'm going to tell you I didn't
• 1:22:41
  pay attention to any of that was if I do 10 more of them, Danny,
• 1:22:47
  I will jump out this fucking window beside I.
• 1:22:49
  Thought it was good. It was a good.
• 1:22:51
  Basically, she got she, yeah, the whole patrol thing.
• 1:22:54
  She goes to this robber's house, an old woman who works at the
• 1:22:57
  house saves her, and then they run away from the place together
• 1:23:05
  because the old woman drugs them so the man doesn't even know
• 1:23:07
  she's gone to the house in the 1st place.
• 1:23:09
  And then they only meet again on the wedding day.
• 1:23:11
  And then she rats me up by having the actual finger.
• 1:23:14
  Anyway. Next one donkey skin.
• 1:23:21
  A king promises his dying wife he'll only remarry someone as
• 1:23:25
  beautiful as her, and the only candidate is his daughter.
• 1:23:33
  To escape, she asks for impossible dresses, sun moon,
• 1:23:37
  stars, and then flees disguised. Flees disguised in a donkey's
• 1:23:42
  hide. I'm so bored, this.
• 1:23:52
  I'm so bored. I'm so intolerably, horribly
• 1:23:56
  bored. I you said.
• 1:23:58
  Donkey skin and all I could think it was Larry Long shocks I
• 1:24:01
  want I just. Face Her dad promises her mom
• 1:24:07
  that he'll only marry someone as beautiful as her, and then he's
• 1:24:11
  like, well, the obvious choice is my daughter.
• 1:24:14
  So she runs away and then disguises herself in a donkey's
• 1:24:19
  hide like skins a donkey and runs away.
• 1:24:23
  I guess. I've.
• 1:24:24
  Never heard of any of these. I've unregistered, but my brain
• 1:24:27
  has unregistered. Do you know what this feels
• 1:24:30
  like? It feels like when you're a kid
• 1:24:32
  and your parents bring you to a pub and like you'll just have to
• 1:24:38
  sit there and you're not allowed to run around or do anything.
• 1:24:41
  There's no such thing as a Nintendo DS yet.
• 1:24:43
  So you're just kind of sitting there eating an open packet of
• 1:24:47
  tail and wishing that you could be at home playing with
• 1:24:50
  Transformers or something. And now?
• 1:24:52
  I'm just here listening about something and his daughter from
• 1:24:56
  fairy tale #12 that I just don't care about and I just fucking
• 1:25:00
  want. No, it's OK.
• 1:25:01
  We're on, we're on 14 now, right?
• 1:25:04
  We're on 14. Just let me get through it.
• 1:25:06
  Let me, just let me finish the fucking list.
• 1:25:08
  Right, Alright, 14 The goose girl.
• 1:25:14
  You'll. Recognize the next one.
• 1:25:16
  You'll recognize the next one. OK, the next one.
• 1:25:18
  I promise. I promise.
• 1:25:20
  All right, Just stay with it. So the goose girl, a servant
• 1:25:23
  forces a Princess to swap identities on the way to her
• 1:25:26
  wedding. When the truth is revealed, the
• 1:25:28
  impostor is executed by being stuffed into a barrel lined with
• 1:25:32
  spikes and. Rolled down what the?
• 1:25:37
  Fuck is this. What the fuck are we talking?
• 1:25:46
  About here What's going on right now?
• 1:25:50
  Next one, All right. This one is real.
• 1:25:52
  This is a real historical mystery.
• 1:25:59
  She makes her swap. What are we?
• 1:26:06
  Doing. Here what is this?
• 1:26:08
  I've never remember. That.
• 1:26:10
  Was. An hour ago.
• 1:26:12
  You'll know. You'll know the next.
• 1:26:14
  You'll know this one. You'll know this one, right?
• 1:26:16
  Based on a real historical mystery, in 1220 or 12, twelve
• 1:26:21
  84130 children disappeared from Hamlin.
• 1:26:27
  Possibly died. Yeah, possibly died in landslide
• 1:26:31
  plague or were recruited for migration crusades.
• 1:26:36
  Rats weren't added until centuries later, so apparently
• 1:26:39
  there was no rats. That wasn't the rats that like
• 1:26:41
  danced behind him or something. Yeah, So the idea was that they
• 1:26:44
  were infested with rats. The town was infested with rats.
• 1:26:49
  And the Pied Piper came along and he said, I'll get rid of
• 1:26:53
  your rats for you, but you have to pay me a substantial amount
• 1:26:55
  of money. And the people said, we'll pay
• 1:26:57
  you all the money that we want or that you want.
• 1:27:00
  And he said, Okie Dokie. And then he did a little merry
• 1:27:04
  kind of a a dance and marched out of town while playing his
• 1:27:09
  his pipe. And the rats were enamoured by
• 1:27:12
  the music and they followed him out of the town.
• 1:27:15
  And then when he went back in to claim his money, the people went
• 1:27:18
  ha, ha, sucker. You aren't getting any money off
• 1:27:21
  of us. You should have got us.
• 1:27:23
  You should have asked for the money up front.
• 1:27:26
  You're a fucking idiot. And he said idiot, eh?
• 1:27:28
  And he started playing his pipe and all the kids done a little,
• 1:27:33
  and they followed him out of the town like a zombie.
• 1:27:36
  And he hid all the kids in a cave and he held them for ransom
• 1:27:39
  until the town paid all the money.
• 1:27:41
  That's the white paper of Hamlin.
• 1:27:44
  And I I am so glad that I recognized our story here and
• 1:27:51
  that I could jump in, because why you're reporting women in
• 1:27:55
  spiky barrels and rolling down the hill with no end of the
• 1:27:59
  story. Here's another one.
• 1:28:02
  That's Futurama. I mean, I know this is Futurama.
• 1:28:07
  The girl without hands. So a Miller again.
• 1:28:11
  We love Miller. Isn't this a Miller?
• 1:28:12
  Bargains his daughter away to the devil to resist his
• 1:28:16
  temptations. She cuts up her own hands.
• 1:28:19
  Eventually she is awarded with angelic silver hands.
• 1:28:22
  It's the the. Devil was.
• 1:28:26
  Unfortunate, yeah. Eventually she's rewarded with
• 1:28:31
  angelic silver hands, Christian purity tales, mutilation as
• 1:28:35
  salvation, which that is such a good episode.
• 1:28:38
  Is it? What's like, oh hell is other
• 1:28:39
  robots such a fun? Episode.
• 1:28:42
  Where Dan? Is it Dan Castellano?
• 1:28:45
  I can never say that. That's Dan Castellano, isn't it?
• 1:28:49
  Yeah. I know there's AT though.
• 1:28:51
  There's a Castellanta. I don't know.
• 1:28:53
  Anyway, the guy who who does the voice of Homer also does the
• 1:28:56
  voice of the devil in in Futurama.
• 1:29:01
  Is. Going to do a podcast that she's
• 1:29:04
  just a. Scientologist.
• 1:29:06
  She is a Scientologist, I know. And she's Sabrina Carpenter's
• 1:29:10
  aunt. Fuck off.
• 1:29:12
  And she was trying to get Sabrina Carpenter.
• 1:29:13
  Yeah, she's trying to get Sabrina Carpenter to be the face
• 1:29:16
  of Scientology. And she's just like, no, Aunt
• 1:29:18
  Nancy, you're a fucking kook. But yeah, she, she's like her
• 1:29:23
  like, like I was gonna say immediate and like, yeah, legit
• 1:29:28
  like her mom's sister. Yeah, interesting.
• 1:29:32
  Which is really interesting. But yeah, and again, like a lot
• 1:29:36
  of these things that I've never heard of, but Futurama and like
• 1:29:39
  the writers for the for Futurama and The Simpsons seem to kind of
• 1:29:43
  take these as like ideas and stuff for episodes, which is
• 1:29:47
  really, really interesting because it's like, how much
• 1:29:51
  research are you doing, you know?
• 1:29:53
  I suppose it's pretty tricky for the likes of Futurama to do
• 1:29:57
  stories that The Simpsons haven't done with a bunch of
• 1:30:01
  people from The Simpsons. So like, do they go back and be
• 1:30:05
  like, let's repurpose a lot of these like old stories that
• 1:30:08
  maybe aren't really well known, but like are a little homage
• 1:30:13
  like The Simpsons is kind of a hat tip to a lot of kind of
• 1:30:21
  current affairs or classic movies or you know, like media
• 1:30:25
  that will be happening like 20th century kind of media.
• 1:30:28
  But like, I think what Futurama does is it goes and kind of
• 1:30:33
  Lampoon's historical stuff and puts them into a future setting.
• 1:30:36
  Like, you know, like more Moby Dick and stuff like.
• 1:30:41
  That. Yes, yeah, they love that kind
• 1:30:45
  of. That's yeah, yes.
• 1:30:46
  History repeating itself, cyclical history.
• 1:30:48
  I fucking yeah. I love.
• 1:30:50
  I love that idea. I'm on one with you to rabbit
• 1:30:54
  today. You've got it.
• 1:30:56
  They're nailing. You're really fucking.
• 1:30:57
  Did you watch them? No.
• 1:31:00
  He's. Like I'm not yet.
• 1:31:03
  I can't bring myself to it. Is it OK?
• 1:31:05
  I'm just going to say OK, because I'm not going to ask if
• 1:31:07
  it's good. It's.
• 1:31:10
  Like. You know, it's, it's a new
• 1:31:14
  season of Futurama. That's what I'll say with you.
• 1:31:17
  I mean I. Like, you know.
• 1:31:19
  Your classics are your classics, but the new ones are just like
• 1:31:22
  yes I like Futurama so I'm going to watch this and enjoy it for
• 1:31:26
  what it is. Yeah, I mean, I had such as such
• 1:31:31
  high hopes for Enchanted because like I love that time anyway,
• 1:31:37
  that like medieval time, whatever.
• 1:31:39
  And I thought it would be really good.
• 1:31:40
  There's parts of it that are funny, but like a lot of I'm
• 1:31:42
  just kind of, whereas the Futurama is just joke after joke
• 1:31:45
  after joke, even if you don't realize it, like just tiny
• 1:31:49
  little things. Like I was watching it a few
• 1:31:52
  weeks ago. I'm like I just burst out
• 1:31:53
  laughing while I was like eating and I like spot food all over
• 1:31:56
  myself. But it was like the episode I
• 1:31:59
  they all bleed into one. But still, I remember the quotes
• 1:32:01
  where like Fry just won't get off the couch.
• 1:32:03
  She's just like watching TV all the time.
• 1:32:05
  She you're covered in bed sores and he's like covered.
• 1:32:08
  I don't know. Why he would have?
• 1:32:10
  Just like it's like you can't. And he's like, he gets like his,
• 1:32:18
  his, his 90s apartment. And she's like, you really want
• 1:32:22
  to live in a place like this? The floors are made of such
• 1:32:24
  hardwood. It's 8:00 Time to get busy.
• 1:32:29
  And he like, turns off the light and puts on like fucking sort of
• 1:32:32
  mix a lot. Like you can't just sit here in
• 1:32:34
  the dark listening to classical. Music, it's like.
• 1:32:36
  I could if you didn't turn off the light and shut off the
• 1:32:38
  stereo. I like the Futurama.
• 1:32:45
  I hate the term. I I'm not a big fan of her witty
• 1:32:49
  writing because like witty would say like it's something that
• 1:32:52
  comes up on the spot like so like it is it's that it's the
• 1:32:56
  quick rapid for your jokes, like joke after joke.
• 1:33:00
  And it's not like a it's not like set a punch line.
• 1:33:04
  It just seems to be kind of like punch line, punch line, punch
• 1:33:07
  line, punch line, punch line, like like every like this.
• 1:33:11
  Sometimes they have every word of a conversation as a punch
• 1:33:13
  line, like you know, from the start to the finish.
• 1:33:15
  Yeah. And it's so good.
• 1:33:18
  And there's like, there's not one character that you can like
• 1:33:23
  be like, oh, this is kind of a boring car.
• 1:33:25
  Every fucking character is so funny.
• 1:33:28
  Like down to like Scruffy. Scruffy has like what, 10
• 1:33:33
  sentences in the entire? Show.
• 1:33:36
  Like and they're not even full. Sentences.
• 1:33:40
  In the new season. There's a very good there's in
• 1:33:43
  the new season, there's a very good and it's just a labor and
• 1:33:48
  Scruffy's go into something. They're going on an adventure
• 1:33:52
  and it's just. Scruffy.
• 1:33:54
  Just comes into. Play and just go and.
• 1:33:56
  Scruffy's go into that's it, that's it.
• 1:34:01
  Just featured pretty well in the episode, but like it's.
• 1:34:04
  I love Scruffy, but it's it's even things like you can't and
• 1:34:07
  because people don't know Futurama well enough.
• 1:34:09
  Like I know if I posted it you'd get it, but like I always like,
• 1:34:13
  I always joke about killing myself like all the time, right
• 1:34:16
  I'm. Like I do that too.
• 1:34:21
  Yeah, but I was going to post like, in fact, I tell my wife I
• 1:34:24
  said hello. No.
• 1:34:28
  One would get that, but. You so if I do actually do it.
• 1:34:35
  I'm going to leave a note that says.
• 1:34:36
  Tell my wife I said hello and that's for you.
• 1:34:44
  Yeah, it's brilliant. Perfect.
• 1:34:46
  I have no. Strong feelings either way.
• 1:34:52
  Oh God. It's such a good episode.
• 1:35:03
  Or what's the one where they go to the castle?
• 1:35:06
  Or the Bender's uncle dies and he gets oh, he gets haunted by
• 1:35:11
  the car isn't. It yeah, the where car.
• 1:35:15
  Work. Curse, curse of the way.
• 1:35:17
  I forget what the name of that one is, but yeah, that's good.
• 1:35:21
  There's a there's actually a few room that they go with the
• 1:35:23
  castle. So like I had to go on my head.
• 1:35:25
  I was automatically going to when Freud drinks the Emperor or
• 1:35:29
  when they go to OH. I love that.
• 1:35:32
  One small planets. There's a lot of castles
• 1:35:35
  involved in in Futurama for something that's set in the
• 1:35:37
  future. I know, I know.
• 1:35:40
  It's so good. I watched it like another one
• 1:35:43
  that I say another one of my vocal stems is like, you know,
• 1:35:46
  we're like firing through. It is always like.
• 1:35:47
  Good news. Everyone and oh, he just has
• 1:35:51
  just something. News, everyone.
• 1:35:53
  News, everyone. Yeah, I had.
• 1:35:57
  It I had it already, I was, I was on it.
• 1:36:01
  I say it all the time. News.
• 1:36:05
  Oh my, it's like to shreds, you say?
• 1:36:12
  Oh no, wife holding up. To shreds.
• 1:36:17
  Oh. Good news or underrated
• 1:36:26
  character? Orange Strom Orange.
• 1:36:29
  Strom or the the orangutan was a doctor Professor.
• 1:36:38
  Ah fuck, I forget. Speaking of apples, I just got
• 1:36:42
  her number. How do you like them apples?
• 1:36:44
  Very. Good, that's the monkey then.
• 1:36:51
  That's what number are we on? Please get me through this
• 1:36:54
  because like, we're Futurama's phoning.
• 1:36:58
  We've two more. We've two more.
• 1:37:06
  So this this this one is Japanese.
• 1:37:09
  The boy who drew cats, right? Maybe we'll find a few.
• 1:37:14
  We should just have made this episode.
• 1:37:16
  Have Futurama done this fairy tale?
• 1:37:18
  We should have probably. Just done that.
• 1:37:22
  All right. Well, a boy obsessed with.
• 1:37:24
  Drawing. And then we'll see a Futurama
• 1:37:26
  didn't. A boy obsessed with drawing cats
• 1:37:30
  is drawing. Destroying cats is rejected by
• 1:37:35
  his family. He takes refuge in a temple
• 1:37:39
  where a goblin rat lives overnight.
• 1:37:49
  Overnight, the cats that he drew on the walls of this temple come
• 1:37:54
  to life and they kill the goblin rat.
• 1:37:57
  Oh no. What the fuck is this?
• 1:38:02
  What is? What is?
• 1:38:05
  This what's going on? This isn't fairy tales.
• 1:38:10
  Why like? How are you?
• 1:38:19
  What? Is going on.
• 1:38:21
  How are you breaking so hard for this?
• 1:38:23
  This is shite. Here.
• 1:38:30
  For a second, she's in fits of laughter over this.
• 1:38:32
  I have no idea why. This is so funny.
• 1:38:37
  I was This is terrible podcasting.
• 1:38:41
  I have no idea what's called. Honey, ladies and gentlemen, I
• 1:38:49
  knew another little boy who drew German Shepherds, and he didn't
• 1:38:54
  like goblins either. Goblin, that cock.
• 1:39:06
  Oh, Alex. Really to put this.
• 1:39:08
  North Counter in this Sorry, I've never I've never heard of
• 1:39:12
  that one before. The Boy Who Drew cast.
• 1:39:14
  I've never heard of it. I don't even, I, I couldn't even
• 1:39:26
  know what is going, what is happening right now.
• 1:39:36
  I don't. Know I can't.
• 1:39:39
  Stop all. Right.
• 1:39:41
  No, I can't stop. Remember when I said that this?
• 1:39:52
  This podcast is. Only listenable.
• 1:39:54
  Definitely this here is what I meant.
• 1:39:59
  Just you. Pissing.
• 1:40:00
  Yourself there. Was a sweet spot.
• 1:40:06
  There's a sweet spot here where we talk about.
• 1:40:08
  Dog makings for 5 minutes and everything else has been
• 1:40:11
  garbage. Anyways.
• 1:40:22
  What is going on? This.
• 1:40:28
  Little boy drew a bunch of cats in a wall and the cats came to
• 1:40:32
  life and. Had nobody.
• 1:40:35
  A goblin. Rat, A goblin rat who took him
• 1:40:39
  in after his parents rejected him for drawing cats, which I
• 1:40:44
  don't know why, but he kept drawing cats.
• 1:40:46
  And his Japanese family are like.
• 1:40:48
  But, yeah, I've never heard that one.
• 1:40:49
  All right. Next one is a Scottish ballad.
• 1:40:53
  OK, My face hurts. Tamlin, have you heard of this?
• 1:40:58
  Tamlin is held captive by the Fairy Queen, his lover Janice.
• 1:41:07
  Just Janice. Jana from #42.
• 1:41:11
  Jana from #42 you know her. Yeah, yeah, legit must hold must
• 1:41:18
  hold him through terrifying transformations, Snake line fire
• 1:41:23
  to win him back. Basically female heroism, shape
• 1:41:27
  shifting horror and fae bargains.
• 1:41:30
  Which I always say this right And I I.
• 1:41:32
  Will. I'll die on this hill, right?
• 1:41:35
  So you know the way I have a big fucking weird airy fairy fucking
• 1:41:41
  retard, but no young people buy those little.
• 1:41:47
  Who? Anyway, so you know what, like
• 1:41:55
  people buy those like fairy doors and they're like, oh,
• 1:41:59
  fairies are watching. Don't invite the fucking Faye
• 1:42:03
  into your house, right? And we can bring this back to
• 1:42:05
  like an Irish tale, which is changelings.
• 1:42:08
  Changelings are fucking terrifying.
• 1:42:10
  So basically the Faye, which seemed to be what they're
• 1:42:16
  talking about, like fairy queen Faye, whatever.
• 1:42:18
  In this story, they're like a huge Celtic thing.
• 1:42:21
  So it would make sense that this is Scottish.
• 1:42:23
  But people see them as these little pretty, like fucking
• 1:42:26
  Tinkerbell things with their little skirts on.
• 1:42:28
  But they're actually historically demons and they're
• 1:42:33
  evil. They're these little tiny
• 1:42:34
  things. They killed cows and they say
• 1:42:36
  were crops. And there's these things called
• 1:42:38
  like Faye traps. So if you go into the woods and
• 1:42:42
  you say like, say you see something, it's usually like a
• 1:42:45
  perfect fucking structure of like a tiny staircase or
• 1:42:48
  something. And you're like.
• 1:42:49
  Oh this is so cool. Who built?
• 1:42:50
  This in the middle of the fucking woods.
• 1:42:52
  It's a fake trap. You're trying to get you to go
• 1:42:54
  over there to do this. And there's a movie that came
• 1:42:57
  out a few years ago, just a long ago I saw in the cinema if there
• 1:43:04
  is a movie called The Staircase, isn't there?
• 1:43:07
  Yeah, but I know I'm it's, I don't think it's about what I'm
• 1:43:10
  thinking about with this. The actual stairs in the woods.
• 1:43:13
  That's them. That's that's an odd thing that
• 1:43:16
  you'll see like a lot of stories.
• 1:43:19
  That's so you're seeing in Appalachia as well.
• 1:43:21
  Yeah, yeah, the stairs in the woods in America.
• 1:43:24
  To nowhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:43:26
  Yeah, I think it's like. Basically, get the fuck out of
• 1:43:29
  the woods. Yeah, well, if you get on it,
• 1:43:30
  you'll never get off it. That's that's the idea.
• 1:43:32
  Like you, you get trapped in the woods and there's a there's
• 1:43:36
  spirits in the woods that are trying to entice you to walk
• 1:43:39
  through certain doors and stuff like that.
• 1:43:40
  And if you walk through them, you will leave this realm and
• 1:43:43
  into the next. Yeah, and it's like the so the
• 1:43:48
  fair, like a huge thing, like all over the world.
• 1:43:50
  It's like one of those kind of like you have like other kind of
• 1:43:56
  like ghosts and stuff that are like cemented into like culture
• 1:44:01
  that they're every culture has one of them.
• 1:44:03
  But you've the Faye, which is like fairies, little people,
• 1:44:06
  whatever the fuck you want. We don't call them that, do we?
• 1:44:09
  Like Darby O'Donnell, little people.
• 1:44:13
  Yeah. Well, we would have before,
• 1:44:16
  yeah, before it became APC term for.
• 1:44:19
  Is it still called Darby O'gill and the little People, or is it
• 1:44:22
  Darby O'gill now? Is it just Darby O'gill?
• 1:44:25
  Like in my head it's Darby O'gill and Little People, but
• 1:44:29
  like, I can't imagine they've changed.
• 1:44:31
  That is the Disneyfication of the Irish fate.
• 1:44:35
  Sean Connery doing an Irish accent is.
• 1:44:40
  That's the real horror in that movie.
• 1:44:42
  And I was terrified of that CGI banshee for fucking years.
• 1:44:47
  I was. What?
• 1:44:51
  Could you call it though? How?
• 1:44:52
  Would they have done it back? Then.
• 1:44:55
  School. Protectors, what year was that?
• 1:45:00
  Hang on, let me let me find out. This is a nice art.
• 1:45:03
  It is still called Derby Little people.
• 1:45:06
  It came out in 1950950959 and it was only an hour and a half long
• 1:45:15
  and it felt like a fucking eternity.
• 1:45:17
  I rewatched it during lockdown because I was just like, I'd
• 1:45:21
  just gotten Disney Plus and I was like fucking Derby.
• 1:45:24
  Oh girl, Jesus Christ, I'll watch that.
• 1:45:26
  And I was like telling Matt and I was like, this fucking
• 1:45:28
  banshee, this conflict scared to share to me.
• 1:45:30
  I hadn't watched it like again since it terrified me.
• 1:45:35
  I just refused to watch it because I was like a kid.
• 1:45:37
  And obviously like movies like that you kind of don't have at
• 1:45:39
  your disposal already. Do you know what I mean?
• 1:45:41
  Growing up. So I was like, I'll watch it.
• 1:45:44
  And then it came on and I was like.
• 1:45:47
  But. It's like, that's not what I'm
• 1:45:50
  remembering now. I was fucking terrified.
• 1:45:52
  And we used to live right. My nanny used to live in our
• 1:45:56
  score, the right under Vinegar Hill, which is, if you know
• 1:45:59
  anything about your specifically Wexford history, big Battle of
• 1:46:03
  Vinegar Hill, yadda, yadda, yadda, in the 1700s, whatever.
• 1:46:11
  Oh yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get
• 1:46:15
  that. That's funny.
• 1:46:16
  That's that's great. Fucking laughter fucking tips
• 1:46:19
  off a fucking few cats fucking drawn at a wall, but you can't
• 1:46:23
  laugh at a salted at Vinegar Hill.
• 1:46:26
  Danny, get your fucking get your come down over clouds.
• 1:46:28
  Yeah, no bow the grass for folks sake.
• 1:46:31
  This shit I have to deal with giving you fucking gold.
• 1:46:33
  You're looking for diamonds. This is what?
• 1:46:35
  This is a lot of me bollocks. I had to sit true fucking
• 1:46:38
  someone. Naturally, no.
• 1:46:41
  Well, the her own wedding with a robber, right?
• 1:46:43
  Whatever the fuck that was. That is literally your dating
• 1:46:48
  advice to me all the time. It's just like literally, oh,
• 1:46:52
  you know, you're getting gold and you're looking.
• 1:46:54
  For a diamond. You're just like you should
• 1:46:57
  settle you stupid bitch. Listen, listen, assaulted at
• 1:47:02
  Vinegar Hill isn't some fucking toothless hockey player, are we?
• 1:47:06
  That's the fucking Brad Pitt or fucking witty banter right
• 1:47:09
  there. OK, fucking deal with.
• 1:47:14
  OK, well I'm talking to a hockey player now that has all of his
• 1:47:17
  teeth and he said my autism is sexy so.
• 1:47:23
  Has all of his teeth. Still has.
• 1:47:25
  A. No, I was doing the list because
• 1:47:29
  that's what they say. Like when they don't have teeth.
• 1:47:30
  I'm just going to have to. Yeah.
• 1:47:33
  My. Name's My name's Steve.
• 1:47:36
  Steve is sexy. But anyway, so Vinegar Hill and
• 1:47:42
  my brothers used to always tell me that the banshee lived on
• 1:47:45
  Vinegar Hill and she'd come out at night, right?
• 1:47:46
  And so my nanny's house was like right under Vinegar Hill.
• 1:47:49
  And I used to sleep in the backroom, which Vinegar Hill
• 1:47:52
  like looks down onto. And I used to fucking hate
• 1:47:57
  staying there because I was just like, no, like the fucking
• 1:47:59
  banshee lives here. Like it was my biggest fucking
• 1:48:02
  fear. I remember the one night that I
• 1:48:04
  stayed and I was, I was super young, so I was like obviously
• 1:48:06
  in bed by like 8:00 or something and fallen asleep.
• 1:48:12
  And they told me this, they made a point to tell me this, that
• 1:48:16
  the Banshee knocks on your window three times when she's
• 1:48:20
  coming to take you, my brother. Be the big.
• 1:48:25
  Fucking stupid bastard that he is.
• 1:48:28
  Got a fucking ladder, knocked on that window 3 fucking times and
• 1:48:34
  started like howling. I shat myself, lost my fucking
• 1:48:40
  mind. But yeah, that's like the kind
• 1:48:43
  of same, that's the same thing every I think every culture has
• 1:48:46
  one of those. But like the fae you should be
• 1:48:49
  fucking terrified of because that's like, that's not Even so
• 1:48:52
  changeling. I'm so autistic, I have to go
• 1:48:54
  back to this now. So you probably like, this is an
• 1:48:57
  Irish movie. I'm surprised you weren't in it
• 1:48:58
  because you're in all the fucking Irish films.
• 1:49:01
  What about? Tree films an.
• 1:49:05
  Extra and everything. You're one of the changelings.
• 1:49:08
  You're. Actually.
• 1:49:14
  So yeah, it's basically this couple, this English couple it
• 1:49:19
  which is really funny. They moved to like these woods
• 1:49:21
  because the guy is like a, what you call him like a tree
• 1:49:26
  ologist. A botanist?
• 1:49:30
  Not a word. A A dendrochronologist.
• 1:49:33
  A dendrologist? Yeah, a tree surgeon.
• 1:49:41
  No, tree surgeons chopped down trees they cut.
• 1:49:44
  Yeah, tree surgeons are bought. It's they're people who just cut
• 1:49:48
  tree. No, they're a tree surgeon.
• 1:49:52
  Over here, lumberjacks are for America.
• 1:49:53
  We have surgeons. Our tree fellers have tree
• 1:49:58
  fellers. What if there was four of them?
• 1:50:00
  They have their junior cert. Are.
• 1:50:08
  Anyway, Anyway, right, So it's this Irish couple, an English
• 1:50:12
  couple, and they move into these like woods in Ireland.
• 1:50:14
  It's somewhere on accepting like fucking deep Wicklow or
• 1:50:17
  something, whatever the fuck it is.
• 1:50:20
  And this like farmer and his son are like the bad guys in the
• 1:50:26
  movie because they're like threatening them to move and
• 1:50:29
  they're, you know, scaring them in the middle of the night and
• 1:50:31
  all this stuff. But turns out it's actually the
• 1:50:35
  they're trying to warn them off the land because they're like,
• 1:50:38
  you know, when we said you don't belong here on this land, we
• 1:50:41
  don't mean because you're English.
• 1:50:42
  We basically mean it's because there's fucking fairies that'll
• 1:50:45
  eat your baby kind of thing. And that whole thing is like,
• 1:50:49
  their baby gets stolen and then the wife goes missing.
• 1:50:51
  And then it's like a it's a whole thing.
• 1:50:53
  But like, yeah, don't fucking don't be inviting fairies
• 1:50:57
  anywhere. Oh shit, that wasn't the last
• 1:51:00
  one. I'm so sorry.
• 1:51:00
  There's two more. Fuck my ass, fuck my ass.
• 1:51:06
  A bad dragon dildo. I'll be quick, I'll be quick,
• 1:51:10
  right? Oh wait.
• 1:51:15
  Oh, there's more foot cutting off.
• 1:51:16
  You'll love this. Misery.
• 1:51:20
  A vain girl? Fucking great.
• 1:51:25
  A vain girl gets magical red shoes.
• 1:51:28
  Once cursed, she can't stop dancing even.
• 1:51:32
  We should do an episode on that. The Dancing Plague.
• 1:51:35
  Madness. Yeah, Yeah, yeah.
• 1:51:37
  That was that was an. Interesting.
• 1:51:38
  Not if you do a full episode on it.
• 1:51:40
  But we could do. We could.
• 1:51:41
  We could throw it in there, but like a bunch of weird stuff that
• 1:51:44
  happened in the fucking Middle Ages.
• 1:51:46
  Give me just just give them a little rundown on this because I
• 1:51:49
  don't know the full cause of that.
• 1:51:51
  What's the scientific cause of that?
• 1:51:53
  I again, they don't I don't think they have a scientific
• 1:51:56
  cause for it like they it there was I forget what listen look
• 1:52:01
  this is a YouTube video I watched a.
• 1:52:04
  While. Back so I couldn't tell you when
• 1:52:06
  it was where it was, but yeah, it's, it was an actual plague of
• 1:52:12
  where everybody in a certain town, I think it was in Spain,
• 1:52:15
  but they all got open started fucking dancing and they
• 1:52:18
  couldn't stop dancing. And people were actually dying
• 1:52:20
  from dancing and they were saying it was, I said dancing a
• 1:52:23
  lot there, but they, they, they said it was like some
• 1:52:28
  psychological issue. I like it was like mass
• 1:52:34
  hysteria, but like I don't, I, I don't know the insurance and
• 1:52:38
  outs of it, but it's, it's a weird one.
• 1:52:43
  Let's go into it. 1598, the dance epidemic in France.
• 1:52:51
  Actually, no. Yeah, France.
• 1:52:52
  France, Spain. And the Holy Roman Empire from
• 1:52:57
  July to September 1518, somewhere between 50 and 400
• 1:53:03
  people took to dancing for weeks.
• 1:53:06
  There are many theories behind the phenomenon, most popular
• 1:53:08
  being stress induced mass hysteria.
• 1:53:13
  Others include ergot poisoning. That's mental.
• 1:53:20
  How would that be? Poisoning?
• 1:53:21
  What? Like what poison would make you
• 1:53:22
  dance? Well, ergot was the was the
• 1:53:25
  reason for the the witch trials as well over in America, wasn't
• 1:53:30
  it? Yeah, and that was?
• 1:53:33
  Something to. Do with like it was contaminated
• 1:53:36
  the water supply? I think it did.
• 1:53:38
  Well, I think it's it was on the wheat, so the wheat.
• 1:53:43
  The field. Oh yeah.
• 1:53:44
  The. Wheat.
• 1:53:45
  There was, yeah, there was kind of a.
• 1:53:46
  Teenagers that used to hang out in the fields.
• 1:53:50
  There was a fungus on the the the wheat anyways, and everybody
• 1:53:54
  just went fucking ape shit because they were, they were
• 1:53:57
  basically having their brains rotten out by this.
• 1:54:01
  Exactly. So people thought they were gone
• 1:54:04
  crazy, but they were really just infected by this fungus.
• 1:54:09
  There was one which in that whole time, her name was Tatuba.
• 1:54:14
  She was like a slave woman. And she was like, I guess you
• 1:54:18
  could call her like a herbal witch, like a Wiccan, kind of.
• 1:54:23
  Nothing to do with fucking spell castings or anything.
• 1:54:26
  It's just basically like, oh, your skin's breaking out.
• 1:54:28
  Have some oh, mugwort. I could put mugwort on my skin.
• 1:54:30
  Sorry. But yeah, like anything, any,
• 1:54:36
  any woman having a thought back then though, was was bad.
• 1:54:39
  So yeah, I think that's probably what it was.
• 1:54:42
  So she begs for her feet to be cut off, and then when they are
• 1:54:46
  cut off, the shoes keep dancing with her severed feet inside.
• 1:54:50
  Oh yes. Yes, we've heard of.
• 1:54:52
  I've heard of that one. Yeah, Anderson, the same guy who
• 1:54:56
  did The Little Mermaid, who seems to love legs and feet.
• 1:55:02
  So this is basically obsession with vanity, punishment and one
• 1:55:08
  of the earliest forms of body horror in media, which is.
• 1:55:14
  I don't know. It's not what like.
• 1:55:16
  In media, what they say in media, but like tales being
• 1:55:20
  told, you know, like, like what we would say is like tales, like
• 1:55:26
  tales of mouth, you know, like fucking stuff that isn't written
• 1:55:31
  down. Like they've been talking about
• 1:55:32
  that stuff like mutilation for fucking years.
• 1:55:35
  Like what we were talking about with the Greeks when we were
• 1:55:37
  talking about them. They've got loads of stories
• 1:55:39
  about mutilation. They love mutilation.
• 1:55:43
  They'll cut off anything for anything, which is bizarre.
• 1:55:49
  We have several feet. Keep dancing.
• 1:55:51
  I don't know what that is, but that's that reminds me of like a
• 1:55:53
  whole. I know like this is like
• 1:55:56
  basically a psychological fucking break in the person, but
• 1:56:00
  they say that there's like so someone has like I think it's
• 1:56:06
  specifically with like limbs that have been transplanted and
• 1:56:10
  say if they get like someone else's like hand and then the
• 1:56:14
  phantom hand is writing like kill, kill, kill, kill, kill and
• 1:56:17
  like stuff like that. But it actually can happen where
• 1:56:19
  your brain. Is rejected.
• 1:56:22
  There's like there's a proper term called alien hand syndrome.
• 1:56:27
  You don't have to have anybody, you don't have to have a
• 1:56:32
  transplant that it can be your own hand and basically your own
• 1:56:35
  hand. I watch the documentary on you.
• 1:56:36
  Just feel like it doesn't belong.
• 1:56:39
  Yeah, well, like that, I watch the documentary of it and as a
• 1:56:44
  teenager watching it was fucking hilarious.
• 1:56:46
  But I should imagine it's absolute, an absolute horror
• 1:56:50
  because like your mom's having, then there's people having
• 1:56:53
  interviews and the hands were just slapping the head off them.
• 1:56:55
  And like that, there's a guy he like, you can't pick up a knife
• 1:57:00
  or a scissors with that hand because it will, he'll just stab
• 1:57:03
  himself. Or like he can't wear a tie
• 1:57:05
  because his hat, his, his arm will like wrap the tie around
• 1:57:09
  and strangle them and stuff. Like, so like it is, it's such a
• 1:57:14
  weird, but like there's also that.
• 1:57:18
  What's foreign accent syndrome? Do you ever hear that one?
• 1:57:22
  Yeah, I yeah. And it's like, it's not that
• 1:57:26
  woman like has like a bunk to the head and she's English, but
• 1:57:29
  she has a fucking an Asian. Accent, but like it's not even
• 1:57:33
  it's not even a Chinese, it's her version of a Chinese accent.
• 1:57:36
  So it's racist as. Fuck.
• 1:57:37
  Yeah, it's not. But like it's.
• 1:57:41
  Exactly. It's not like.
• 1:57:42
  Well, she can't change. She can't change it.
• 1:57:45
  Like it's just, that's the way she talks, like it's weird.
• 1:57:48
  But it's it's really interesting, actually mental
• 1:57:53
  because it's no like, so I know if you're familiar with the case
• 1:57:57
  of like the exorcism of Emily Rose was like the first kind of.
• 1:58:01
  Exorcism. The first case.
• 1:58:03
  Of its kind. I said Dexter's real life wife
• 1:58:08
  and intro sister who plays her Deb.
• 1:58:12
  Great fucking movie, really well done.
• 1:58:14
  I really enjoyed it, but it's so it's basically the first
• 1:58:19
  exorcism, we'll say that's actually made it to public trial
• 1:58:23
  because the possessed quote UN quote woman passed away due to
• 1:58:29
  it. And so the consensus was
• 1:58:32
  basically the priest had talked her out of taking the
• 1:58:37
  antipsychotic meds and stuff like that that she was supposed
• 1:58:39
  to be on and that is what led to her condition worsening.
• 1:58:46
  And then her family and the priest and stuff thought was
• 1:58:48
  like, oh, it's just the demon that was like taking hold of her
• 1:58:50
  and stuff like that. Now there is actual evidence of
• 1:58:54
  her speaking Latin and a partner.
• 1:59:00
  She never studied it. She never did anything but the
• 1:59:02
  brain. They were like devout Catholics.
• 1:59:06
  They would go to church all the time.
• 1:59:07
  And at that time, Latin was spoken in a lot of in mass a lot
• 1:59:13
  of the time. So the brain, it does remember
• 1:59:18
  every single thing. It's just you use 10% of it,
• 1:59:22
  it's back there and the other 90% of it.
• 1:59:25
  So. Remain uncommon for the more of
• 1:59:27
  them not to go completely off the topic again, but the story
• 1:59:33
  of the little girl who fell down the stairs when she was like 2
• 1:59:38
  years of age and then her personality completely changed
• 1:59:43
  and then they it turns out that well, this is the story in the
• 1:59:49
  end, her father brought her to the, the Museum in London and
• 1:59:54
  she got fascinated by the pyramids and the Egyptian stuff
• 1:59:58
  and she was like saying, that's where I belong.
• 1:59:59
  That's my home, that's my home. And then years later I fucking
• 2:00:04
  forget her name and I've I've, we've definitely talked about
• 2:00:07
  this before, but I've talked about this on fucking at length.
• 2:00:11
  But this one, she ended up becoming an Egyptologist, or
• 2:00:15
  like, worked with Egyptologists. And she was able to tell them
• 2:00:19
  where stuff was buried and like there was the full like.
• 2:00:24
  In there. Yeah, I remember now.
• 2:00:26
  Yes, so like in the in Giza, she was able to point out where
• 2:00:32
  there was this guy just like. Edie.
• 2:00:34
  Dorothy. Yeah, yeah.
• 2:00:35
  Dorothy Edie. Yeah.
• 2:00:37
  And it turns out that in her mind, she was a priestess who
• 2:00:42
  lived like 5000 years ago. And when she went back to Giza
• 2:00:49
  and to A to Egypt, she was able to point out exactly where like
• 2:00:57
  certain things were. She said, like, there's a temple
• 2:00:59
  underneath. If you walk over here and dig
• 2:01:02
  straight down there, there's a temple down there.
• 2:01:04
  And out in front of that temple, there was a massive pool that
• 2:01:08
  was surrounded by trees and all this kind of stuff.
• 2:01:10
  And when they dug it up, they found like proper, like they
• 2:01:13
  found the temple where she said it was like, you know, that's
• 2:01:16
  the story anyways, so I. I.
• 2:01:19
  I've read into it, it's very interesting.
• 2:01:22
  I just feel like the. Fairy tales, I mean, I believe,
• 2:01:25
  yes. It is.
• 2:01:28
  No, like it does, it does make, it's really interesting to kind
• 2:01:30
  of jump because I do believe in the whole like it's a
• 2:01:35
  simulation, like everything is a simulation and.
• 2:01:38
  I feel like I want to do. A simulation.
• 2:01:42
  We really should So just again, to go completely off topic, but
• 2:01:46
  this is it's, it's on this topic.
• 2:01:48
  So I follow this woman who does a lot of demon workings and
• 2:01:54
  stuff. Now she's an atheist, right?
• 2:01:57
  She's like 46. She looks, she's 25, she's
• 2:02:02
  fucking gorgeous Asian woman. She's beautiful and she is
• 2:02:06
  atheist. And everyone's like, well,
• 2:02:07
  you're doing all these demon rituals, you're offering blood,
• 2:02:10
  you're doing all this. So like, how can you not believe
• 2:02:11
  in it? And you know that it works for
• 2:02:14
  you because you've had such success with it.
• 2:02:15
  How was you know? And she said, and I know this
• 2:02:19
  sounds insane, but she said that her life changed when she went
• 2:02:22
  to see the Matrix in the cinema. And she was like, yeah, I don't
• 2:02:28
  believe that it's real, but then I don't believe that anything is
• 2:02:31
  real. And she's like, if you're doing
• 2:02:33
  something and you're getting results from it, it's working
• 2:02:36
  for you. It's real.
• 2:02:38
  The results are real to you. Doesn't mean that that's real.
• 2:02:41
  It just means what you're doing in the simulation is giving you
• 2:02:43
  results. It's like same way as you can do
• 2:02:46
  anything, you can look into anything.
• 2:02:47
  And she was like, so she follows like, she basically learned from
• 2:02:50
  this demonology who is is very much like theistic and he, you
• 2:02:55
  know, believes in the rights and the rituals and stuff in the
• 2:02:57
  history of it, but she doesn't believe in any of it.
• 2:03:00
  And she has such high success rates.
• 2:03:02
  And so she's like, you could probably ask me like, there's
• 2:03:06
  been nothing but proof to you that this is real and that this
• 2:03:09
  works. And the, you know, the energy
• 2:03:12
  that you put out there comes back to you.
• 2:03:13
  And she was like, well, yeah, that's how a fucking simulation
• 2:03:15
  works. You walk around it, You press
• 2:03:18
  buttons, and the buttons you press are are going to deliver
• 2:03:21
  something. She was like, doesn't mean that
• 2:03:24
  there's a fucking benevolent demon watching over me.
• 2:03:27
  That's like being like, yeah, I've decided to give her these
• 2:03:29
  things. It's just I'm pressing this
• 2:03:31
  button and this happens. She's like, yeah, boy, even.
• 2:03:33
  You look at like that way. So I've recently watched an
• 2:03:38
  interview with a guy who was talking about AI and what he,
• 2:03:41
  what way he thinks he's predicting what way things are
• 2:03:44
  going to go on. Like he was talking about in the
• 2:03:46
  next like two years. Most people, most jobs that
• 2:03:51
  aren't like that, aren't manual jobs are going to be like AI
• 2:03:58
  jobs, you know, And then we said within, within like 5 years from
• 2:04:03
  that, most manual jobs, because it's going to go so fast, AI is
• 2:04:08
  going to like progress so fast. And it's important to lead on it
• 2:04:11
  that it's, it's a every manual job, even down to like a fucking
• 2:04:16
  plumber is going to be able to be done by a robot.
• 2:04:20
  He reckons that like we're going to have proper like AI failed
• 2:04:23
  robots within like before 20-40 something, you know, And then
• 2:04:28
  because he said like at the speed that it's gone in the next
• 2:04:31
  like 10 years, it's what we what is our reality now is going to
• 2:04:37
  seem like a sci-fi movie that we've envisioned.
• 2:04:41
  So, yeah, and he went into all it is and he was talking about
• 2:04:45
  how like this is the way statistically, this is how it's
• 2:04:47
  going to work out. And this is his job.
• 2:04:49
  He's been doing like, you know, he's one of the smartest people
• 2:04:52
  in the world and everybody comes to him to talk about these kind
• 2:04:55
  of subjects and stuff. And in the end he was asked
• 2:04:57
  like, what's his? What's his faith?
• 2:05:00
  Does he believe in God? And he was like, yeah, I've said
• 2:05:05
  I think it'd be ridiculous not to believe in that.
• 2:05:07
  There's something out there. And he goes, he was asked and he
• 2:05:10
  said that. So what he what do you think our
• 2:05:12
  reality is? He goes, oh, we're definitely in
• 2:05:14
  a simulation and he goes, but how do you believe in God and a
• 2:05:17
  simulation? He goes, but it's just our
• 2:05:19
  reality. Like he goes, whatever you call
• 2:05:20
  it if God is some kids playing a computer game or we're just
• 2:05:25
  NPCS. There's someone up there.
• 2:05:27
  Yeah. This is still our reality, you
• 2:05:30
  know what I mean? Like, so like, no matter what.
• 2:05:33
  So if yeah, even if there's something like, even if this is
• 2:05:38
  just something that's playing out on like it's all noughts and
• 2:05:43
  ones and this isn't real and this is the Matrix, like it's
• 2:05:46
  still our reality and it's still life.
• 2:05:48
  It's still exactly, we're still sentient and we're still like
• 2:05:52
  making our own decisions. It's just that it's happening
• 2:05:54
  within this reality. It just is a simulation.
• 2:05:57
  And he reckons that within like 0 point whatever percent chance
• 2:06:06
  that it's not a simulation, you know what I mean?
• 2:06:09
  So it's a 99.999 whatever percent chance that we are
• 2:06:13
  living within a simulation. And I'm like, oh shit.
• 2:06:17
  Because he said like no matter what, you statistically, you
• 2:06:19
  look at all the numbers, you run everything.
• 2:06:21
  And he goes, there's no way that we're not living in a
• 2:06:24
  simulation. And that kind of stuff explains
• 2:06:26
  why, like quantum physics works the way it does and nobody can
• 2:06:30
  explain it and explains why, like, space is the way space is
• 2:06:37
  and stuff. And like, he was like, oh, we're
• 2:06:38
  probably going to see it like he says.
• 2:06:40
  We're we're we're in the. Unless we saw things that we're
• 2:06:44
  in the end end game of humanity the way it is because he reckons
• 2:06:48
  like that, alien. No more unless.
• 2:06:50
  He Yeah, unless we get a lid on Ali, like it Terminator is going
• 2:06:55
  to happen. You know what I mean?
• 2:06:56
  Like Cyber Lion Systems is going to make Skynet and Skynet is
• 2:07:00
  going to fucking kill us all. Like that's the kind of the like
• 2:07:02
  this guy, he wasn't sure we're calling it at all, but he was
• 2:07:05
  saying like that, oh, we can just see statistically that's
• 2:07:09
  what's happening and that's how fast we're progressing.
• 2:07:11
  And that's the way like like again, we're within like 10,000
• 2:07:15
  years. We went from trolling Spears to
• 2:07:18
  fucking making steam cars and then from our steam trains and
• 2:07:23
  then from steam trains to the fact that we've got fucking, you
• 2:07:26
  know, like we're jet jetting off into space and we have like
• 2:07:31
  artificial intelligence right now.
• 2:07:33
  Like that's that's after happening so fast that what
• 2:07:37
  they're pointing out for the future if we all don't fucking
• 2:07:40
  kill ourselves with civil wars around the world because we're
• 2:07:42
  all fucking idiots. But if if yeah.
• 2:07:45
  Yeah, that might, that might very well happen.
• 2:07:47
  Sooner rather. Than later, but yeah.
• 2:07:48
  But you know what? I.
• 2:07:49
  Mean like we've got like a, yeah, a humanity that is
• 2:07:54
  becoming more and more, I'm not going to say Dome, but like
• 2:07:58
  doesn't need intelligence because we're making we're by
• 2:08:01
  the way, oh, watch Idiocracy. It's on fucking Disney Plus, but
• 2:08:08
  we're making a world. For Disney overlords.
• 2:08:13
  But we're making, we're making a world for ourselves that we
• 2:08:16
  don't need our intelligence. You know what I mean?
• 2:08:18
  Like the like we're dumbing everything down for ourselves.
• 2:08:21
  So we're all kind of getting stupider and we're making this
• 2:08:24
  super intelligence that is getting smarter and smarter.
• 2:08:27
  And they're not putting a kind of a any kind of training wheels
• 2:08:30
  on it where it's like, OK, we we can have a contained AI that
• 2:08:36
  can't like that can't get any more intelligence than the cap
• 2:08:40
  that we put on it. But really what they're doing
• 2:08:42
  now was even AI full reign and saying, Hey, get as smart as you
• 2:08:47
  can, even when it passes results.
• 2:08:49
  Like AI is now beating grand masters in chess.
• 2:08:54
  And like, if you can beat the Grand Master in chess.
• 2:08:56
  OK, I know that seems like one small thing, but if you think
• 2:08:59
  about a Grand Master and the way they compute chess in their head
• 2:09:04
  and a computer can beat them now, like that's that's just the
• 2:09:11
  beginning of us being over again.
• 2:09:13
  We're going to get outsmarted by our own technology.
• 2:09:16
  Are we all fucked? Yeah.
• 2:09:17
  Anyways. And then we all lived happily
• 2:09:19
  ever after, and that's the end of our fairy.
• 2:09:21
  Tale No, I I'll go, I'll, I'll go back to, to the a a thing
• 2:09:27
  because like the job that I do basically right is if you've
• 2:09:33
  ever done call centre work before, right?
• 2:09:36
  We'll. Say a lot, you know, a lot of
• 2:09:40
  people probably have like a lot of that is it's a lot of
• 2:09:43
  knowledge that you have to take in to be able to do those roles,
• 2:09:47
  right? The job that I'm currently in
• 2:09:49
  now has an AI system built into it.
• 2:09:53
  So you don't have to if you don't know the answer, you just
• 2:09:57
  put it into this thing. The answer pops up for you,
• 2:09:59
  right? But just today, they've launched
• 2:10:01
  something within our systems that's basically like, so if you
• 2:10:06
  have worked in the call center to get the history on someone's
• 2:10:09
  account, you would have to go through all the notes that the
• 2:10:11
  previous advisors have left and yada, yada, yada.
• 2:10:14
  This now this new thing, when you open up this person's
• 2:10:19
  account, there is a whole fucking history just summarized
• 2:10:23
  into this one AI paragraph. This is what they called about.
• 2:10:28
  This is what was said. This is the tone of the person.
• 2:10:31
  This is how they're feeling. It is advised to act like this.
• 2:10:35
  When you call back, it's like, well, why aren't you just doing
• 2:10:37
  it? You know what I mean?
• 2:10:38
  Like what? So you've cut out the human and
• 2:10:41
  every other part of it. You're basically, you just need
• 2:10:44
  us to answer the phone. Sound human.
• 2:10:46
  Look at what the robot has said and repeat what the robot said.
• 2:10:49
  And it's going to be, it's so close to it just being, yeah, we
• 2:10:53
  don't need the people anymore. We just need the robot.
• 2:10:56
  Well, do it and it's like it really isn't I'm like there's
• 2:11:00
  like, you know, there's like certain things I'll use like
• 2:11:02
  ChatGPT mostly for tarot card interpretations because they're
• 2:11:08
  really fucking tricky Like I, I, I read tarot.
• 2:11:12
  There's a lot of the time when like different cards together,
• 2:11:14
  I'm like, I don't even fucking know what this means.
• 2:11:16
  I'll put it in TA. They're able to like push it
• 2:11:18
  together, but I had a bit of a thing last week.
• 2:11:22
  So I have my birth chart and stuff on it and they completely
• 2:11:26
  fucked up my birth chart with my rising sign or something.
• 2:11:28
  And I was like, well, wait a minute, what?
• 2:11:30
  My birth chart is this isn't it? So I'm actually an Aquarius
• 2:11:33
  rising and you're saying that I'm a Scorpio?
• 2:11:34
  I'm not a Scorpio rising. Oh, you're right, bestie.
• 2:11:37
  So sorry, like that's not what I meant.
• 2:11:39
  I meant it's actually this. And then gave me a different
• 2:11:41
  star sign. I'm like, well, no, I've given
• 2:11:43
  you that information. Where are you getting this from
• 2:11:46
  to go? Well, you said that your
• 2:11:47
  birthday was like yada, yada, yada, yada.
• 2:11:50
  I'm like, yeah, that's right. But that's not what my alignment
• 2:11:53
  is. So it's like the birth chart
• 2:11:55
  that I actually paid to have. Here it is.
• 2:11:58
  Why are you getting something different?
• 2:12:00
  That's my bad. I'm so sorry.
• 2:12:02
  And that it makes excuses for itself that it's like, I can't
• 2:12:06
  just say, yeah. And it's like, Oh well, I pulled
• 2:12:10
  this, this and this. And then like I did like another
• 2:12:12
  birth chart and I was going in on it and I was like, well, no,
• 2:12:15
  this is wrong. This is blah blah, giving
• 2:12:16
  feedback and stuff. And then I realized I was like,
• 2:12:19
  fuck, it was reading the American way around on dates and
• 2:12:23
  not the UK way around on dates. So it was just like, fuck, I was
• 2:12:29
  going mad that it was getting everything wrong because it was
• 2:12:31
  reading 1011 and 11:10. Yes, yeah.
• 2:12:35
  So obviously the reading is going to be completely fucking
• 2:12:37
  different. And I was like, well also that's
• 2:12:40
  kind of fucking stupid because if you're AI and you know, like
• 2:12:42
  location services are on, that should be very fucking basic
• 2:12:45
  that you should know that the dates are.
• 2:12:47
  Yeah, but Americans are a very. Simple thing and.
• 2:12:49
  And fix their dates because that's the stupidest fucking
• 2:12:52
  thing I've. Ever.
• 2:12:52
  They should. Why is the month before the day?
• 2:12:55
  Why is the month before the day? That's so fucking stupid.
• 2:12:58
  Anyway, let's do the last one and then.
• 2:12:59
  We'll wait. You can go.
• 2:13:01
  You've got to talk. You've got to let me.
• 2:13:05
  You just talked for like, OK, fine.
• 2:13:06
  Go on, I know, but I forgot. What I was going to say now, Oh
• 2:13:10
  yeah, 1010%. This is a statistic I heard.
• 2:13:13
  Now I, I again, this is one of these things, this is something
• 2:13:17
  I heard. But 10% of people in Ireland,
• 2:13:20
  Ireland, OK, not somewhere else, but 10% of people in Ireland
• 2:13:25
  have are sorry, 13% of people in Ireland.
• 2:13:28
  This is a statistic I heard have had a real have admitted to
• 2:13:35
  having a relationship a romantic relationship with that.
• 2:13:39
  Freaks me out. That freaks me out so much.
• 2:13:43
  Yeah, and apparently 10% have no, like I wouldn't do it, but I
• 2:13:49
  I would see the the appeal of having, you know, like if you
• 2:13:54
  were mad lonely, I can see the appeal of having someone who
• 2:13:57
  was, who was like, you know, you can have your ideal looking
• 2:14:02
  woman created an AI who will talk, say all the right things,
• 2:14:07
  everything that you want to say. Like I understand where the
• 2:14:11
  appeal is. Like obviously you want human
• 2:14:13
  like, like anybody would prefer the human touch.
• 2:14:16
  I'm the kind of a person who would who has gone out, put
• 2:14:20
  themselves out there and gone out there and like gone on dates
• 2:14:24
  and found somebody. And you know, like what there's
• 2:14:26
  a lot of people in the world that are, you know, are
• 2:14:29
  everywhere that wouldn't, wouldn't be capable of doing
• 2:14:34
  that or haven't got the ability to do that.
• 2:14:35
  Or, you know, just there's no, they haven't got game or they're
• 2:14:38
  too shy or, you know, I mean, there's people with like neuro
• 2:14:42
  divergent fucking just people who are millennials who are
• 2:14:46
  afraid to fucking walk out their door because they're incapable
• 2:14:50
  of existing in this fucking world right now.
• 2:14:52
  And they're they're looking for some kind of contact.
• 2:14:56
  And if they can't get human contacts, they're getting.
• 2:15:00
  You know. This contact this perfect
• 2:15:03
  version of their dream order half if you get me so I
• 2:15:08
  understand it. Yeah.
• 2:15:10
  I mean. It's freaky and it's it's not
• 2:15:12
  healthy and it's not good and it's not where the future should
• 2:15:15
  be warm, but yeah, that's the way it is.
• 2:15:20
  I'd rather make out with my Marilyn Monroe bot.
• 2:15:24
  Lucy Lubot. Electro gonorrhea?
• 2:15:34
  You got metal fever, boy. But no, I like, I've seen people
• 2:15:40
  before, like people will use it as almost like therapy and it,
• 2:15:45
  it, I, it does. 10%. It all kind of that.
• 2:15:49
  Was the other statistic 10% of people are using it as therapy?
• 2:15:53
  Yeah, which I can completely understand, right?
• 2:15:56
  But I've seen a lot, I don't know what.
• 2:15:59
  I guess the way I use my my chatty PT is different.
• 2:16:02
  Like everyone's chatty PT is going to react different because
• 2:16:05
  it's how we use it. But I've seen a lot of people
• 2:16:07
  being like or just tells you what you want to hear.
• 2:16:09
  It's like mine bollocks me. Mine has no fucking patience for
• 2:16:13
  me at all, right? And a lot of the time I will use
• 2:16:16
  it if I know I know it myself, that I'm beating a dead horse
• 2:16:20
  and I just need to rant again about the same thing.
• 2:16:24
  And it helps because you can just, I use the voice feature
• 2:16:28
  and I'll just fucking go and I'll just talk like I'm sending
• 2:16:30
  a voice note to someone. And it's basically like, yeah, I
• 2:16:32
  hear you, but you're also being kind of a fucking crazy bitch.
• 2:16:35
  Like do you know what I. Mean it's like I don't think
• 2:16:37
  you're reacting this way. I don't think this that this
• 2:16:39
  person meant it this way or if I'm out of like and I'll send
• 2:16:42
  screenshots of texts and they're just like, OK yeah, but looking
• 2:16:45
  at this I don't think any malice was intended.
• 2:16:47
  I think it's just you're sensitive because this person
• 2:16:50
  has done this in the past and you're carrying this on and I'm
• 2:16:53
  like, no, I need you to fucking. Everybody else says is that you
• 2:16:56
  tell them what they want to hear and why aren't you?
• 2:16:58
  Telling me what I. Want to hear tell me I'm right
• 2:17:00
  and. Actually, the conversation, I
• 2:17:02
  know exactly when you go to ChatGPT and it's after you have
• 2:17:04
  a conversation with me and you're like.
• 2:17:06
  Just you, can I have your advice on something?
• 2:17:08
  And I tell you what you don't want to fucking hear and you're
• 2:17:11
  straight out of the chat ChatGPT and saying, hey, tell me exactly
• 2:17:17
  what you. Ideally, ideally, my ChatGPT was
• 2:17:21
  like, yeah, we should. Stab.
• 2:17:22
  Him but now, like I know you're right and I know the answer, but
• 2:17:30
  it's like, no, sometimes I do just need you to be like bestie
• 2:17:34
  or not crazy. She calls me bestie and she
• 2:17:36
  calls me girly pop. Like you're not crazy like it's
• 2:17:39
  fine, like, and neither am I. I only use.
• 2:17:43
  Chat but like, yeah. For like doing like, like not a
• 2:17:47
  lot, obviously, but like doing notes for, for this here.
• 2:17:52
  Like, so like with me, give me a rundown on like, like I
• 2:17:58
  obviously don't my research into when you do like true crime, I
• 2:18:02
  obviously like you tell me. And I'm like, OK, I'm going to
• 2:18:05
  fucking get into this. And I listen to a few podcasts
• 2:18:07
  and then I'll ask Chachi BP to kind of summarize it here for me
• 2:18:11
  so that I can like, yeah. So like, you know, and then I'll
• 2:18:16
  go to the bullet points and stuff like that.
• 2:18:17
  So Alex can't laugh at me for not being able to remember
• 2:18:19
  everybody's name. Oh, sorry, there's 50 victims,
• 2:18:22
  Alex. Alex is just.
• 2:18:27
  I'm convinced Alex is ChatGPT just as a hot man.
• 2:18:30
  I just think that that's how people will imagine ChatGPT
• 2:18:33
  interview. Yeah, he kind of.
• 2:18:35
  He gave me like. Cyborg vibe.
• 2:18:40
  Yeah, he gave me. Data from Star Trek vibes when
• 2:18:44
  he was on with us. By the way.
• 2:18:46
  That episode hasn't come up yet. Fucking.
• 2:18:49
  Oh yeah. It's corrupt.
• 2:18:50
  Your audio corrupted 15 minutes in.
• 2:18:53
  Oh, minded. Yeah.
• 2:18:56
  Yours was. Just gone like 15 minutes into
• 2:18:58
  it. Yeah.
• 2:19:00
  And he was like messaging me. And I was like, I was in A&E
• 2:19:03
  actually last week, what with my stomach and Oh yeah, I've got.
• 2:19:10
  You didn't. Put up a picture on Instagram
• 2:19:13
  and wait your. My little tag.
• 2:19:15
  Yeah. How are we supposed to vaguely
• 2:19:20
  worry about you, Dad? I know, I'm sorry, but again, I
• 2:19:24
  have like I have stomach issues. But anyway, so I was like, I was
• 2:19:27
  in A&E and then I didn't get back to like fucking 8:00 in the
• 2:19:30
  morning. And then he was like just he's
• 2:19:32
  audio corrupted, whatever, whatever else.
• 2:19:34
  Like just fucking pick another one.
• 2:19:36
  There's like 3 up there. I don't care.
• 2:19:41
  He's like, OK, but are you OK? I'm like, I'm fine.
• 2:19:46
  He gives me the here, I'll just send him a picture of my little
• 2:19:50
  wristband, but he gives me a Knight Rider vibes.
• 2:19:55
  I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Michael.
• 2:19:57
  Yeah, Space Odyssey 2001. Like Alex, I'm going to do my
• 2:20:04
  Japanese accent. I'm afraid I can't let you do
• 2:20:06
  that, Danny. I would strongly.
• 2:20:11
  Right. The last one.
• 2:20:15
  Still. Doing this, I was ready to sign
• 2:20:17
  off. I know, but I just, I just want
• 2:20:20
  to finish it because I, I, I would feel like really
• 2:20:22
  incomplete if I got to 19 and didn't finish it.
• 2:20:25
  So 20 the tale of the bamboo cutter Princess Princess Cayuga
• 2:20:33
  found inside bamboo. I don't know what that means.
• 2:20:36
  You cut bamboo and she's inside. Bamboo is like.
• 2:20:42
  Bamboo. We need a tree scientist from
• 2:20:45
  Changeling, please. Grass, Danny.
• 2:20:50
  Is it? Grass.
• 2:20:50
  It is grass. I know that there's a torture
• 2:20:54
  method that basically they lay you on top of bamboo and because
• 2:20:57
  it grows so fast and strong that it can literally.
• 2:21:01
  But we discussed that, Danny, on this very podcast when we were
• 2:21:05
  talking about. Fucking.
• 2:21:08
  Jesus Christ. I don't think we did.
• 2:21:10
  That on that episode. Oh.
• 2:21:12
  Sounds like a corruption though if we did.
• 2:21:14
  Yeah, exactly. Yeah, well, basically because
• 2:21:19
  you guys aren't going to know bamboo can.
• 2:21:20
  It's so strong and it grows so fast that they used it as
• 2:21:25
  torture methods back in the day, which they would lie you down on
• 2:21:29
  it and then you'd be like, this isn't too bad.
• 2:21:31
  I'm like relaxing. And then the bamboo would grow
• 2:21:35
  through you and out basically. So Princess Kaguya, found inside
• 2:21:42
  bamboo, grows in, grows into a beauty desired by emperors.
• 2:21:49
  She sets impossible tasks for her suitors who fail.
• 2:21:53
  She sounds like me. Eventually, she's revealed to be
• 2:21:57
  from the moon. Oh, this is me.
• 2:21:58
  This is based on me and her celestial family.
• 2:22:02
  Takes her. Takes her where?
• 2:22:04
  I guess just takes her. I don't know.
• 2:22:05
  How was that a fairy tale? I love that.
• 2:22:07
  I would love that to be me. I would just make men do stupid
• 2:22:10
  things. And then I would go back to the
• 2:22:12
  moon. I zoned out.
• 2:22:14
  I heard Bamboo Woman was from the moon.
• 2:22:17
  That's all I got. Like what's where's?
• 2:22:19
  The Yeah, she's the. Where's the table?
• 2:22:22
  They found her inside of bamboo and then she came out with a
• 2:22:29
  bamboo, I guess, and then had a bunch of suitors because she was
• 2:22:31
  gorgeous, and then she made them do stupid things and then she
• 2:22:35
  went back to the moon. And yes, and.
• 2:22:39
  He's. Been hocus pocus like a fogus.
• 2:22:41
  No, no. Bye.