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Transcript

That Podcaster IS NOT Your Friend · Randy Unscripted

• 0:14
  None: And you think, I know those guys. They're like my friends.
• 0:32
  Randy Black: Welcome back to Randy Unscripted. I'm Randy Black, and this is the podcast where
• 0:36
  Randy Black: I just talk about what happens to come across my brain whenever it happens to just come across.
• 0:42
  Randy Black: And today, I want to talk about something that honestly fascinates me.
• 0:47
  Randy Black: And it's kind of a follow-up to our last episode about main character syndrome.
• 0:52
  Randy Black: And the idea here is that we're going to talk about the strange psychology that surrounds podcasting.
• 0:58
  Randy Black: Because podcasting is, it's different from almost every other form of media. It's personal.
• 1:05
  Randy Black: It's more intimate. It's more conversational. And over time,
• 1:09
  Randy Black: listeners start to feeling like they genuinely know the people that they hear every week.
• 1:16
  Randy Black: And recently, while looking into some more stuff with main character syndrome,
• 1:21
  Randy Black: I came across an episode of Stuff You Should Know
• 1:24
  Randy Black: called Parasocial relationships that podcaster is your friend hosted by josh
• 1:30
  Randy Black: clark and chuck bryant and almost immediately something they said grabbed my
• 1:37
  Randy Black: attention based on that last episode of randy unscripted on main character syndrome their.
• 1:44
  Speaker1: Social relationship is a it's like when you listen to a podcast and you think
• 1:50
  Speaker1: i know those guys they're like my friends we would be such good friends in real life.
• 1:54
  Randy Black: And honestly, that may be one of the most accurate descriptions of podcasting
• 1:59
  Randy Black: that I've ever heard because eventually something happens.
• 2:05
  Randy Black: You stop feeling like you're listening to someone and you start feeling like you know them.
• 2:13
  Randy Black: And after years of being in podcasting myself, I've started to realize something else too.
• 2:18
  Randy Black: The microphone, it changes people.
• 2:23
  Randy Black: Not always negatively, not always dramatically, but over time it can quietly
• 2:30
  Randy Black: shape identity, personality, performance, and even self-perception.
• 2:37
  Randy Black: And that's where this conversation gets really interesting.
• 2:42
  Randy Black: One thing podcasting does extraordinarily well is intimacy. It creates closeness
• 2:51
  Randy Black: faster than any other medium.
• 2:54
  Randy Black: And interestingly enough, psychologists have actually looked at and studied this for decades.
• 3:02
  Speaker1: It's a one-sided relationship between a consumer of a thing,
• 3:07
  Speaker1: a fan of a thing, and a public figure.
• 3:10
  Speaker2: Yeah, and one of those papers you sent me, I saw it described rather aptly as
• 3:14
  Speaker2: a one-sided intimacy at a distance.
• 3:19
  Randy Black: That phrase is fascinating to me. One-sided intimacy.
• 3:25
  Randy Black: Because it explains something all of us have experienced.
• 3:29
  Randy Black: You can spend years listening to someone talk, you're hearing their stories,
• 3:33
  Randy Black: their jokes, their struggles, their opinions, and eventually your brain starts
• 3:37
  Randy Black: categorizing them as part of your social world.
• 3:40
  Randy Black: Not because you're irrational because
• 3:44
  Randy Black: your brain is doing exactly what humans brains
• 3:47
  Randy Black: were designed to do humans are social creatures we're wired for familiarity
• 3:53
  Randy Black: we're wired for voice we are wired for emotional connection and podcasting delivers
• 4:01
  Randy Black: all three directly into your ears,
• 4:07
  Randy Black: See, podcasting, it's different from television. It's different from movies.
• 4:13
  Randy Black: It's different even from social media because podcasts often feel unfiltered.
• 4:18
  Randy Black: They feel conversational. They feel relaxed.
• 4:22
  Randy Black: And over time, that creates for us emotional familiarity.
• 4:28
  Randy Black: You hear the hosts talk about their families, their pets, their marriages,
• 4:33
  Randy Black: their frustrations, their daily routines. And eventually, listeners began to
• 4:38
  Randy Black: feel emotionally connected.
• 4:40
  Randy Black: Not in a fake way, but in a human way.
• 4:44
  Speaker1: But I think like, oh yeah, me and Scott Aukerman are like great friends.
• 4:49
  Speaker1: But we're not great friends, even though I feel like we are because I listen to so much of his stuff.
• 4:55
  Randy Black: That may be the most honest moment in the entire discussion from that episode.
• 5:00
  Randy Black: Because it reveals something important. Even creators experience this.
• 5:05
  Randy Black: Even podcasters themselves begin forming imagined closeness through repeated exposure.
• 5:11
  Randy Black: And honestly, that makes complete sense. Because podcasting mimics friendship
• 5:16
  Randy Black: patterns remarkably well.
• 5:18
  Randy Black: Long-form conversation, shared humor, repeated exposure, familiar voices,
• 5:24
  Randy Black: weekly presence. The human brain reads all of that as social bonding.
• 5:34
  Randy Black: One of the most fascinating observations in that episode was the idea that media,
• 5:40
  Randy Black: and especially the modern media, exploits ancient human psychology.
• 5:46
  Speaker2: TV accidentally tricks you into thinking you're interacting with a really great person.
• 5:52
  Speaker1: Your evolutionary brain doesn't know the difference between Dan Rather talking
• 5:57
  Speaker1: to your face on a television and Dan Rather really being in front of you in a Starbucks.
• 6:02
  Randy Black: Man, that line stayed with me. Your brain doesn't know the difference because
• 6:08
  Randy Black: honestly, that explains a lot, a lot about our modern culture.
• 6:15
  Randy Black: Social media, influencers, live streaming, YouTube podcasting,
• 6:22
  Randy Black: these platforms create perceived proximity and proximity creates emotional familiarity.
• 6:28
  Randy Black: Even if the relationship itself is entirely one directional, this occurs.
• 6:33
  Randy Black: Now, to be clear, that does not mean that these relationships are fake.
• 6:40
  Randy Black: I actually think many podcasts genuinely help people. Companionship matters.
• 6:45
  Randy Black: Conversation matters. Feeling less alone matters.
• 6:51
  Randy Black: But it does mean that creators carry influence, whether they realize it or not.
• 7:00
  Randy Black: And podcasting became even more intimate during the pandemic.
• 7:05
  Randy Black: Isolation amplified everything.
• 7:08
  Randy Black: People were alone, disconnected, separated from normal social rhythms.
• 7:14
  Randy Black: And podcasts quietly filled part of that emotional gap.
• 7:21
  Speaker1: Podcasting has evened up the game even more. People are in their ear holes.
• 7:25
  Speaker1: There was nothing to distinguish the two, except talking back.
• 7:28
  Randy Black: That's such a powerful observation. There was nothing to distinguish the two
• 7:33
  Randy Black: except talking back. Think about that.
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  Randy Black: For millions of people, podcasts became companionship, became background presence.
• 7:45
  Randy Black: It became routine, comfort, consistency.
• 7:48
  Randy Black: And honestly, man, there's something beautiful about that. I know podcasts help
• 7:54
  Randy Black: people through loneliness.
• 7:56
  Randy Black: They help them through anxiety, grief, depression, uncertainty, and that matters.
• 8:01
  Randy Black: But there's another side to this too, because eventually the audience starts shaping the creator.
• 8:11
  Randy Black: And this, I think, is where main character syndrome can quietly begin creeping into podcasting.
• 8:18
  Randy Black: Not necessarily narcissism, not necessarily arrogance, but performance,
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  Randy Black: optimization, persona construction.
• 8:30
  Randy Black: Because once you realize people are listening, you naturally begin adjusting.
• 8:35
  Randy Black: You emphasize certain parts of yourself.
• 8:38
  Randy Black: You soften other parts. You repeat the things that people react to.
• 8:43
  Randy Black: You become more aware of your image, your brand, your identity.
• 8:51
  Randy Black: Eventually, the lines between you and podcast you start to get blurry.
• 8:58
  Speaker1: You put your best self forward even in a medium like this.
• 9:01
  Speaker2: For you guys, a persona that is an idealized version of us.
• 9:06
  Randy Black: That might honestly be the most single important insight in this entire conversation.
• 9:11
  Randy Black: Because every creator does this to some extent. Every single one of them.
• 9:16
  Randy Black: Even the most authentic creators in the world, they still curate.
• 9:20
  Randy Black: They still edit. They still select. They still perform.
• 9:23
  Randy Black: That doesn't automatically make someone fake, but it does create pressure.
• 9:27
  Randy Black: Pressure to maintain a version of yourself that audiences expect.
• 9:33
  Randy Black: And over time, that can subtly reshape identity itself.
• 9:39
  Randy Black: But I also don't want this episode
• 9:41
  Randy Black: to sound cynical because there's a healthy side to all of this, too.
• 9:46
  Randy Black: Human beings need connection. And sometimes podcasts generally provide comfort
• 9:52
  Randy Black: and companionship during difficult seasons in listeners' lives.
• 9:57
  Randy Black: And honestly, I think that matters more than some people even realize.
• 10:02
  Speaker1: When I was a stay-at-home mom feeling lonely, I would turn on the show and feel
• 10:05
  Speaker1: like I was having a conversation with friends.
• 10:07
  Randy Black: That's not nothing there is
• 10:10
  Randy Black: is is pathetic nothing about that
• 10:13
  Randy Black: is is weird frankly it's
• 10:18
  Randy Black: human i think one of the reasons podcasting exploded the way it has is because
• 10:25
  Randy Black: people are starving for authentic conversation not for algorithms not for outrage
• 10:31
  Randy Black: not for performance but for conversation,
• 10:35
  Randy Black: real conversation.
• 10:38
  Randy Black: And maybe that's the tension creators have to navigate carefully.
• 10:44
  Randy Black: How do you remain authentic without becoming performative?
• 10:49
  Randy Black: How do you build connection without making yourself the center of everything?
• 10:55
  Randy Black: And how do you communicate without eventually turning yourself into a character.
• 11:02
  Randy Black: Maybe that's the ultimate danger that exists with main character syndrome in
• 11:07
  Randy Black: podcasting. It's not fame.
• 11:10
  Randy Black: It's not popularity. It's not success.
• 11:13
  Randy Black: But slowly beginning to believe your own persona.
• 11:18
  Randy Black: Because the microphone is powerful. If we're not careful, it can slowly turn
• 11:23
  Randy Black: communication into performance. and performance into identity.
• 11:29
  Randy Black: And maybe the healthiest creators are the ones who remember that the show is not the world.
• 11:35
  Randy Black: The audience is not the source of identity.
• 11:38
  Randy Black: And the microphone, it's just a tool, not a mirror.
• 11:44
  Randy Black: Thank you for listening to this episode. I'm Randy Black, and I'm so happy that
• 11:48
  Randy Black: you took time out of your day to check out another installment here of Randy Unscripted.