Latest / Motivation Mindset Podcast / Let Go and Love Yourself First: The Power of Self-Acceptance
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: I think it really starts with realizing that you don't
- 0:03Speaker 1: love yourself, that most people don't. Most people feel they're
- 0:07Speaker 1: not good enough, that they haven't done it right, they
- 0:09Speaker 1: won't do it right, they'll never be enough, and they're
- 0:12Speaker 1: definitely not lovable. And when we come from that space,
- 0:17Speaker 1: it's very hard to create things for ourselves that are
- 0:20Speaker 1: really good. So in the early days when I worked
- 0:23Speaker 1: with people, I used to fix this problem and fix
- 0:26Speaker 1: that problem, and you'd have this a health thing, and
- 0:28Speaker 1: we'd work on that, and we'd work on this. And
- 0:31Speaker 1: one day I discovered, much to my amazement, that if
- 0:34Speaker 1: I would help people learn to love themselves, to really
- 0:38Speaker 1: accept themselves as they are, we didn't have to work
- 0:41Speaker 1: around problems because it was almost like a miracle. Everything
- 0:45Speaker 1: seemed to fall away. It's a hard one for people
- 0:48Speaker 1: because we grow up believing that we're not good enough
- 0:52Speaker 1: and nothing is right. I remember lots of times I
- 0:57Speaker 1: would ask people, well, what is really wrong with you?
- 1:00Speaker 1: What have you done that is so terrible that you're
- 1:02Speaker 1: not acceptable to yourself? And I never ever ever got
- 1:05Speaker 1: an answer that made any sense. You know, they might
- 1:08Speaker 1: say something like, well, i'm too fat, well soul it's
- 1:12Speaker 1: you know, but when you talk about loving yourself, a
- 1:19Speaker 1: lot of people think that that's vanity, but it isn't. Really,
- 1:23Speaker 1: it has nothing to do with that that is narcissistic.
- 1:27Speaker 1: But to really care for you and to acknowledge that
- 1:31Speaker 1: you are an important being. It's almost like in the
- 1:34Speaker 1: Bible they would say, you recognize that you are a
- 1:38Speaker 1: child of God, that therefore you are perfect. But even
- 1:42Speaker 1: if you're not a biblical person, if you can recognize
- 1:45Speaker 1: that you are a being that has self worth, if
- 1:48Speaker 1: you can really recognize your own worth, then you start
- 1:52Speaker 1: to treat yourself differently. And I think that's what's so
- 1:55Speaker 1: very important about loving yourself is you stop beating yourself up,
- 1:59Speaker 1: you stop making yourself wrong, you stop talking about how
- 2:02Speaker 1: awful you are, and you stop saying things like I'm
- 2:05Speaker 1: really stupid and stuff, and you start to treat yourself
- 2:08Speaker 1: with a certain amount of respect. And this makes an
- 2:11Speaker 1: enormous difference because what you give out in life is
- 2:16Speaker 1: what comes back to you. So if you're giving out
- 2:19Speaker 1: a feeling of I'm okay, I'm good enough as I am,
- 2:23Speaker 1: and I am acceptable, and I love life and I
- 2:26Speaker 1: love me, and you start having gratitude for yourself and
- 2:30Speaker 1: for life. Then life treats you differently because you are
- 2:34Speaker 1: having a different vibration.
- 2:36Speaker 2: That you're giving out and.
- 2:37Speaker 1: Getting back, and that's when things really start to flow.
- 2:41Speaker 1: Now a lot of people don't realize it, but you
- 2:43Speaker 1: have to practice. You just have to start it. And
- 2:46Speaker 1: that's why I try to get people to do a
- 2:48Speaker 1: lot of mirror work. If you look in the mirror,
- 2:51Speaker 1: just simple things like looking in the mirror in your
- 2:54Speaker 1: own eyes and say I love you, I really really
- 2:58Speaker 1: love you, And it helps. If you here's your name, Louise,
- 3:01Speaker 1: I love you, I really love you. It gets to
- 3:04Speaker 1: that little child inside that has been rejected for so
- 3:09Speaker 1: long and it breaks open sort of a damn or
- 3:13Speaker 1: a door or whatever you want to call it, and
- 3:16Speaker 1: it's like little miracles start to happen. Lots of little
- 3:20Speaker 1: good things happen, and the universe loves grateful people. The
- 3:26Speaker 1: more grateful you are, the more you get to be
- 3:29Speaker 1: grateful about.
- 3:30Speaker 2: Now that we understand a little bit more about how
- 3:33Speaker 2: powerful our thoughts and words are, we can choose to
- 3:37Speaker 2: retrain our thinking and speaking into positive patterns if we're
- 3:42Speaker 2: going to get beneficial results. Are you willing to change
- 3:46Speaker 2: yourself talk into positive affirmations. Remember, every time you think
- 3:52Speaker 2: a thought and every time you speak a word, you
- 3:55Speaker 2: are saying an affirmation, and affirmation is a begin point.
- 4:01Speaker 2: It opens the way to change. In essence, you are
- 4:04Speaker 2: saying to your subconscious mind, I am taking responsibility. I
- 4:09Speaker 2: am aware that there is something I can do to change.
- 4:12Speaker 2: When I talk about doing affirmations, I mean to consciously
- 4:17Speaker 2: choose sentences or words that will either help to eliminate
- 4:21Speaker 2: something from your life or help to create something new
- 4:25Speaker 2: in your life. And you do this in a positive way.
- 4:30Speaker 2: If you say I don't want to be sick any more,
- 4:33Speaker 2: the subconscious mind hears sick more. Now you want to
- 4:37Speaker 2: tell it clearly what you do want. That is, say
- 4:40Speaker 2: I am a healthy person. I radiate good health. The
- 4:44Speaker 2: subconscious mind is very straightforward. It has no strategy or designs.
- 4:50Speaker 2: What it hears is what it does. If you say
- 4:53Speaker 2: I hate this car, it doesn't give you a wonderful
- 4:57Speaker 2: new car because it doesn't know what you want. Even
- 5:00Speaker 2: if you get a new car, you will probably hate
- 5:03Speaker 2: it soon because that is what you've been saying about it.
- 5:06Speaker 2: The subconscious only hears hate this car. You need to
- 5:11Speaker 2: clearly declare your desires in a positive way, as in
- 5:15Speaker 2: I have a beautiful new car that suits all my needs,
- 5:20Speaker 2: or I always have a car that I love. If
- 5:23Speaker 2: there is something in your life that you really dislike,
- 5:26Speaker 2: I have found one of the quickest ways to release
- 5:28Speaker 2: it is to bless it with love. I bless you
- 5:31Speaker 2: with love, and I release you and let you go.
- 5:34Speaker 2: This works for people, situations, objects, and living quarters. You
- 5:39Speaker 2: could even try it on a habit you would like
- 5:41Speaker 2: to be free of and see what happens. I knew
- 5:45Speaker 2: one man who said, I bless you with love and
- 5:49Speaker 2: release you from my life to every cigarette he smoked.
- 5:52Speaker 2: After a few days, his desire for smoking was considerably less,
- 5:57Speaker 2: and in a few weeks the habit was gone. Deserve good.
- 6:01Speaker 2: Think for a moment, what is it you really want
- 6:03Speaker 2: right now? What is it you want to day in
- 6:06Speaker 2: your life? Think about it, and then say, I accept
- 6:11Speaker 2: for myself whatever it is that you want. This is
- 6:14Speaker 2: where I find that most of us get stuck. The
- 6:18Speaker 2: bottom line is the belief that we don't deserve to
- 6:21Speaker 2: have what we want. Our personal power lies in the
- 6:25Speaker 2: way we perceive our deservability. Our not deserving comes from
- 6:30Speaker 2: childhood messages. Again, we don't have to feel that we
- 6:35Speaker 2: cannot change because of these messages. Often people will come
- 6:39Speaker 2: to me and say, Louise, affirmations don't work. It really
- 6:43Speaker 2: has nothing to do with affirmations. It is the fact
- 6:47Speaker 2: that we don't believe we deserve the good. The way
- 6:50Speaker 2: to find out if you believe that you deserve something
- 6:54Speaker 2: is to say an affirmation and notice the thoughts that
- 6:57Speaker 2: come up as you say it, and write them down,
- 7:01Speaker 2: because when you see these thoughts on paper, they will
- 7:03Speaker 2: be very clear to you. The only thing that keeps
- 7:06Speaker 2: you from deserving or loving yourself or whatever is someone
- 7:10Speaker 2: else's belief or opinion that you have accepted as truth.
- 7:14Speaker 2: When we don't believe that we deserve good, we will
- 7:18Speaker 2: knock the pinnings out from under ourselves, which we can
- 7:22Speaker 2: do in a variety of ways. We can create chaos,
- 7:27Speaker 2: we can lose things, we can hurt ourselves or have
- 7:30Speaker 2: physical problems like falling or have accidents. We want to
- 7:34Speaker 2: start believing that we deserve all the good that life
- 7:38Speaker 2: has to offer in order to reprogram the false or
- 7:42Speaker 2: negative belief. What would be the first thought that you
- 7:45Speaker 2: would need to begin to create this new whatever in
- 7:49Speaker 2: your life. What would be the building block or the
- 7:53Speaker 2: foundation that you would need to stand on. What would
- 7:56Speaker 2: be the sort of thing that you would need to
- 7:58Speaker 2: know for yourself to belie leave to accept. Some good
- 8:02Speaker 2: thoughts to start with could be I am worthwhile, I
- 8:06Speaker 2: am deserving, I love myself, I allow myself to be fulfilled, etc.
- 8:13Speaker 2: These concepts form the very basis of beliefs on which
- 8:16Speaker 2: you can build. Do your affirmations on top of these
- 8:19Speaker 2: building blocks to create what you want to begin with.
- 8:23Speaker 1: You start by doing what we call doing affirmations, and
- 8:27Speaker 1: that is making positive statements about your life that are positive,
- 8:34Speaker 1: and you do them deliberately. You might do them in
- 8:36Speaker 1: the morning. You might do them at noon, you might
- 8:38Speaker 1: do them at night. You might do them, you know,
- 8:41Speaker 1: twice a day or whatever which you do this, and
- 8:44Speaker 1: you let this become a habit, and as you start
- 8:47Speaker 1: to do them, things will begin to change, maybe on
- 8:51Speaker 1: a very small level. I call it getting the green
- 8:54Speaker 1: lights in the parking places. I mean, they're not huge
- 8:57Speaker 1: things in your life. It can be very nice when
- 8:59Speaker 1: you get through green lights in a row and you're
- 9:02Speaker 1: in a hurry. Doing an affirmation is either writing it
- 9:06Speaker 1: down writing it on the wall or the mirror, or
- 9:09Speaker 1: using just saying it. What I like people to do
- 9:14Speaker 1: is to stand in front of the mirror and do
- 9:16Speaker 1: their affirmations, because there's something very powerful about looking in
- 9:21Speaker 1: your own eyes, getting and accepting yourself or noticing that
- 9:27Speaker 1: you reject yourself when you're saying something positive about yourself.
- 9:32Speaker 1: So that would be a very beginning way to start.
- 9:36Speaker 1: Say in the morning, you get up in the morning,
- 9:38Speaker 1: you go to the mirror. And this is a big one,
- 9:41Speaker 1: and it's hard for lots of people, but you look
- 9:44Speaker 1: in the mirror and I say and say I love you,
- 9:48Speaker 1: I really really love you. And to begin with that
- 9:52Speaker 1: can be so hard for people because they think of
- 9:54Speaker 1: all the things that they think are wrong with them.
- 9:56Speaker 1: But if you can start your day saying that, it's
- 9:59Speaker 1: very powerful. Remember, I'd like to think the universe is
- 10:03Speaker 1: listening to everything you say and everything you think and say, okay,
- 10:07Speaker 1: you can get that, so then it starts to bring
- 10:10Speaker 1: you in and bring things into you. And I know
- 10:13Speaker 1: this sounds far fetched, but it's amazing how it works.
- 10:17Speaker 1: If you do a good general positive statement for yourself,
- 10:22Speaker 1: the universe will figure out how to benefest that how
- 10:27Speaker 1: to bring that about in your life. So things could
- 10:30Speaker 1: happen that you wouldn't expect at all, but they will
- 10:33Speaker 1: happen if you think of doing your positive affirmations is
- 10:38Speaker 1: like planting a seed in the ground. It's not necessarily
- 10:42Speaker 1: true at the moment, but it is something you want
- 10:44Speaker 1: to have be true. So you put the seed in,
- 10:49Speaker 1: and you plant a seed and you expect it to grow,
- 10:53Speaker 1: or you maybe plant three seeds just in case you
- 10:56Speaker 1: expect them to grow, and you don't wait two days
- 11:00Speaker 1: and then digging the earth and say, what's happening. What's happening?
- 11:03Speaker 1: You expect that thing to grow because you know there's
- 11:05Speaker 1: a law and a process and the seed will grow
- 11:09Speaker 1: if it is in the right soil and it has
- 11:11Speaker 1: the right amount of moisture. Making it really a habit
- 11:15Speaker 1: and doing it every day, doing something every morning when
- 11:19Speaker 1: you wake up, that's a really good time. And another
- 11:22Speaker 1: good time is when you go to sleep at night.
- 11:24Speaker 2: If you still have a habit that you haven't released,
- 11:27Speaker 2: ask yourself how it serves you. What do you get
- 11:29Speaker 2: out of it? If you can't get an answer, ask
- 11:32Speaker 2: in a different way. If I no longer had this habit,
- 11:36Speaker 2: what would happen very often the answer is my life
- 11:39Speaker 2: would be better. So it comes back to the fact
- 11:42Speaker 2: that we believe we don't deserve a better life in
- 11:44Speaker 2: some way. Ordering from the cosmic kitchen. When you first
- 11:48Speaker 2: say an affirmation, it may not seem true, but remember
- 11:53Speaker 2: affirmations are like planting seeds in the ground. When you
- 11:57Speaker 2: put a seed in the ground, you don't get a
- 11:59Speaker 2: full grown plant the next day. We need to be
- 12:02Speaker 2: patient during the growing season as you continue to say
- 12:06Speaker 2: the affirmation. Either you will be ready to release whatever
- 12:09Speaker 2: you don't want and the affirmation will become true, or
- 12:13Speaker 2: it will open a new avenue to you, or you
- 12:16Speaker 2: may get a brilliant brainstorm, or a friend may call
- 12:20Speaker 2: you and say, have you tried this? You will be
- 12:23Speaker 2: led to the next step that will help you keep
- 12:26Speaker 2: your affirmations in the present tense. You can sing them
- 12:29Speaker 2: and make a jingle out of them so that they
- 12:32Speaker 2: repeat over and over in your head. Remember that you
- 12:35Speaker 2: cannot affect a specific person's actions with your affirmations. To
- 12:40Speaker 2: affirm that John is now in love with me is
- 12:43Speaker 2: a form of manipulation, and it is trying to have
- 12:46Speaker 2: control over another person's life. It will usually have a
- 12:50Speaker 2: boomerang effect on you. You will become very unhappy when
- 12:54Speaker 2: you don't get what you want. You can say I
- 12:56Speaker 2: am now loved by a wonderful man who is, and
- 13:00Speaker 2: list the qualities that you want in the relationship. That way,
- 13:04Speaker 2: you allow the power within you to bring to you
- 13:08Speaker 2: the perfect person to fill that bill, who may possibly
- 13:11Speaker 2: be John. You don't know what another person's spiritual lesson is,
- 13:15Speaker 2: and you don't have a right to interfere in their
- 13:18Speaker 2: life process. You certainly wouldn't want some one else doing
- 13:22Speaker 2: it to you. If some one is ill, bless them
- 13:25Speaker 2: and send them love and peace, but don't demand that
- 13:29Speaker 2: they get well. I like to think of doing affirmations
- 13:33Speaker 2: as placing our order in the cosmic kitchen. If you
- 13:36Speaker 2: go to a restaurant and the waiter or waitress comes
- 13:39Speaker 2: and takes your order, you don't follow them into the
- 13:42Speaker 2: kitchen to see if the chef got the order or
- 13:44Speaker 2: how he's going to prepare the food. You sit and
- 13:47Speaker 2: drink water or coffee or tea, or you talk to
- 13:50Speaker 2: your friend and maybe eat your role. You assume that
- 13:54Speaker 2: your food is being prepared and will be out when
- 13:57Speaker 2: it's ready. It's the same when we begin to do affirmations.
- 14:01Speaker 2: When we put our order into the cosmic kitchen, the
- 14:04Speaker 2: great chef, our higher power, is working on it. So
- 14:08Speaker 2: you go on with your life and know that it
- 14:11Speaker 2: is being taken care of. It's on order. It's happening now.
- 14:16Speaker 2: If the food comes out and it isn't exactly what
- 14:19Speaker 2: you ordered, and if you have self esteem, you will
- 14:22Speaker 2: send it back. If not, you will eat it. You
- 14:25Speaker 2: also have a right to do that with the cosmic kitchen.
- 14:28Speaker 2: If you don't get exactly what you want, you can say, no,
- 14:33Speaker 2: that's not quite it. This is what I want. Perhaps
- 14:36Speaker 2: you weren't clear in your ordering. The idea here too
- 14:40Speaker 2: is to let go. At the end of my treatments
- 14:43Speaker 2: and meditations, I use the words and so it is.
- 14:47Speaker 2: It's a way of saying, Higher Power, it's in your
- 14:50Speaker 2: hands now, I release it to you.