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The Hard Truth About Leadership and Burnout · Harder Than Life

• 0:07
  I'm Kelly Siegel, and this is Harder Than Life, a podcast about self-love, self-awareness, business, and health. We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple, practical advice you can start using today. Let's get living.
• 0:23
  Hello, HGL Nation. It's your boy, Kelly Siegel, back with another life-changing episode of the Harder Than Life podcast, where we live bold, love fierce, lead with unapologetic authenticity, and today, we're tackling a topic that hits deep. How to avoid losing yourself while leading others. Leadership is a calling. It's powerful, it's necessary, and it's a privilege. But let's get real. It can also be a trap.
• 0:53
  You pour your heart into your team, your business, your family, and before you know it, you're running on empty, disconnected from your own purpose, health, and happiness. I've been there, Heart of Life Nation, burned out, hollow, and barely recognizing the man in the mirror. But I clawed my way back, and today, I'm sharing the exact blueprint.
• 1:18
  to lead with impact and staying true to who you are. This isn't about surviving leadership. It's about thriving in it. So grab your pen, get your mind right, and let's dive in. It's time to lead others without losing your soul. Let's cut to the chase. Leadership can be lonely, exhausting grind if you're not intentional.
• 1:40
  When I was scaling national technology management, I threw everything into it. My time, my energy, my identity. I was the hustle hard CEO, the guy who always had the answers, the one closing the deals and solving problems. On the outside, I was crushing it, but inside I was crumbling. My health took a hit, late nights, bad eating habits,
• 2:05
  Missed workouts. My relationships suffered. Friends, family, and even my daughter Ari felt the distance. Worst of all, I lost touch with my why. I was so busy being the leader everyone needed that I forgot who I was. My identity became Kelly the CEO, not Kelly the man with a purpose, a heart, and a vision. I'm not.
• 2:31
  For a happier than life existence. Here's the raw truth. Heart of life nation. If you're losing yourself in leadership. You're not leading. You're surviving. And that's not what we're built for. You were built to inspire. To create. To make a dent in the universe. While staying whole. And authentic in your purpose. The good news.
• 2:54
  You can lead with power and purpose without sacrificing yourself. And I'm going to show you how step by step. Remember, failure is feedback, but I wanna say something a little deeper. I wanna say, sometimes you have to make the mistake to learn from it. But instead of learning from a mistake, why don't you learn from a mentor like me? And remember, leading is going first. So I went first, screwed it all up,
• 3:20
  It started over so you don't have to. So what was my wake-up call?
• 3:27
  I chose to lead myself first. So let me take you back to a moment that changed everything. In 2020, the world was in a lockdown. And I was staring at myself in the bathroom mirror. NTM was killing it. Revenue up. Clients happy. But I was a wreck. Exhausted, disconnected, numbing myself with alcohol and chasing validation that never filled the void. I didn't recognize the guy staring back at me. That's when it hit me.
• 3:54
  I was leading everyone but myself. The mirror moment was my wake up call. I asked myself, Kelly, who are you? What do you stand for? Are you living the life you're preaching? The answers hurt. Guys, don't shy away from asking these questions. That is what it means to be heart of the life. Being self-aware,
• 4:21
  answering the questions and doing something about it. So sure, the answers did hurt. I'd let leadership consume me and I was paying the price, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And truthfully, I believe in my pocketbook. Sometimes more is not better. So I made a choice, a fierce, intentional choice to lead myself first. I started small but relentless.
• 4:44
  10 minutes of meditation every morning to clear my head. Journaling to dig in my triggers and dreams. Hitting the gym like my life depended on it because it did. Cutting out alcohol to reclaim my clarity. These weren't just habits. They were declarations of war on anything that pulled me away from my purpose. At first it felt selfish like...
• 5:04
  Who is time for self-care when I got a team to lead and a business to run? But here's what I learned when you lead yourself first. Your capacity to lead others explodes. My energy came back. My focus went razor sharp. My team at NTM noticed the shift. They stepped up, took ownership, and we grew stronger together. I'm going to be a little bit more.
• 5:27
  My daughter Ari got her dad back, present, engaged, and full of love. Leading yourself isn't selfish. It's the foundation of a powerful, authentic leadership. You can't pour from an empty cup, Heart of Life Nation. Fill yours first and watch how it transforms everyone else around you. I do remember a side note.
• 5:50
  that I talked so much about business back then that people got sick and tired of being around me. That's happened twice in my life. When I first started the business and when I was massively trying to grow through the pandemic. Now you read the Heart of Life book, I get into this very deep. There was so much other stuff going on, I was taking fire from all angles. That's what made the lessons I'm giving you all the more important.
• 6:20
  So what did I do? There were three critical things that I did to avoid losing myself entirely. So let's get into the good stuff. The three non-negotiable practices to lead with impact while staying true to you. These are the exact strategies I use to keep my cup full and my leadership on fire. And understand this.
• 6:46
  I still do all of these to this very day. I started in 2020 and I have not stopped and we're in 2025.
• 6:54
  As a matter of fact, I keep tweaking them, measuring them, and making them better, a little harder, a little more refined to get the exact outcome I'm trying to achieve. Practice number one. The number one thing that I do is non-negotiable self-care routines. Literally, this comes first. I wake up with gratitude. I do three things I'm grateful for. This is not part of the practice. I'm just going to tell you some additional things I've added.
• 7:20
  Wake up, first eyes open. I wake up right when the alarm goes off. I don't sit snooze. And I say three things I'm grateful for. And then I go in and I high five the mirror. Again, none of these are self-care things, but they're just little things that I do. But this is what I do. I get to the gym quickly after I do my meditation. So leadership demands everything you've got, time, energy, focus. If you don't protect your wellbeing, you'll burn out faster than a cheap candle.
• 7:49
  So I gave you a little bit about my non-negotiables, but let me dig into them deeper. Daily exercise. Right now, I'm going a little overboard. I challenge myself to do 500 workouts when I'm 50. So I'm doing two workouts a day, but usually I only do one. I do a minimum of 45 minutes in the gym. No excuses. I happen to do seven days a week. Again, I don't need rest like most people say. I...
• 8:19
  If I do need, I just take a cardio day. But as I said, I do two 45 minute workouts. Usually it's two one hour workouts, but I'm giving you guys 45 minutes, no excuses. It's not just about looking good. It's about feeling unstoppable and doing the hard thing day in and day out. There are days my muscles are sore because when I do get in the gym, I don't mess around. I'm very intentional. I lift very heavy weights,
• 8:48
  very intensely. So, 45 minutes in the gym, no excuses. That is my first non-negotiable. Second non-negotiable, morning meditation, which you heard me allude to. I do my meditation as the second thing in the morning. First thing, gratitude. Second thing, meditation.
• 9:09
  10 minutes to center my mind and connect with my purpose. I am not paid by the Daily Calm. So this is not an advertisement, but I use the Daily Calm. It's a couple of bucks a month. It's a daily guided meditation. It literally is 10 minutes long. Haven't missed a day in 2025.
• 9:29
  Sometimes I do it in the morning. Sometimes I do it at night, but I always journal. I reflect on my wins from the day before or the day of, my struggles, my why, and then I recenter my focus. Pro tip, guys, I remind myself daily.
• 9:45
  that God gave us two eyes, two ears, and one mouth for a reason. Listen and watch four times as much as you talk. It will help you. So exercise, meditation, and journaling. And then of course, seven hours of sleep.
• 10:08
  No more I'll sleep when I'm dead nonsense. Real sleep is a weapon. If you've followed me for any amount of time, you know I used to say that all the time. I'll sleep when I'm dead, I'm good. But now I will be dead if I don't sleep. Seven hours is a minimum for me. Actually six is a minimum, but seven is where I operate the best. Some of y'all could be eight.
• 10:31
  the rare few, it could be nine, but seven to nine, I'm at seven, let's go. These aren't optional though. Please understand exercise, meditation, solid sleep and journaling happen every single day with a special asterisk to gratitude. They're my foundation. Pick your non-negotiables today. Maybe it's a 20 minute walk.
• 10:58
  a gratitude practice, reading 10 pages of a book, protect them like your life depends on it because your leadership does, so does your mindset. I've read hundreds, might be up to a thousand books
• 11:16
  Every single winner, high achiever, does some sort of the things that I just listed off. Most do all of them and more. So don't pick one, pick several, steal every one that I got and just go. Guys, life gets better. All right, pillar number two or practice number two. Again, the first massive practice was the non-negotiable self-care routines.
• 11:44
  Practice number two is a regular life audit. Every 90 days, I do a life audit. It's a health check for my soul. I ask myself, am I happy and fulfilled? Is my body strong and healthy? Are my relationships, my family, friends, team thriving? And am I aligned with my purpose and values?
• 12:08
  And then if any of those are out of whack, I can usually go back to my journal and I've starred something to figure out why. So practice number one, the non-negotiable self-care actually blends with practice number two. They all go together.
• 12:24
  If anything's off, I don't wait for a crisis. I recalibrate it immediately. Maybe it's cutting a toxic habit, saying no to a draining commitment, or doubling down on self-care. That's why I'm doing the 500 workouts this year. I want to do something intentionally hard to go into my 50th year on this earth. 50 years young I'll be in November. I want to go into that on a high note with confidence.
• 12:52
  So last year my audit showed I was slipping on family time. So I blocked off every Sunday for my daughter. No work, no distractions, just us. Again, one small little caveat is I do, first thing in the morning on Sundays, I do my planning for the week. Usually my daughter's not up to home.
• 13:09
  oh, shh, don't tell her I said that. She's not up when I do that. And I plan my week out real quick. I fill up the empty spots and make sure that I'm going towards my priorities. So just a couple minutes of work takes me about 15, 20 minutes. And that's one change that brought me more joy than any business win. So schedule your first life audit this week. Be honest, be ruthless. Fix what's broken before it breaks you. Okay.
• 13:35
  Pro tip, get all of this stuff on your calendar. If you look on my calendar on Sundays, it's schedule week. I also have workout scheduled with my daughter for daughter time. Show me your calendar. I'll show you if you're winning and I'll show you if you're in alignment. Practice number three. Again, to rethink. First practice was non-negotiable self-care routines. Second practice was regular life audits.
• 14:04
  And a part of that life audit, guys, I really want you to understand is I also go to the doctor every six months and the dentist every six months. I go to the doctor to get my blood drawn and everything checked out. And I go to the dentist to make sure my teeth are all healthy as can be. So practice number three, delegate and elevate, also known as delegate and trust.
• 14:28
  So you don't have to do it all. Let me say that again. You don't have to do it all. Delegating isn't weakness, it's wisdom. At NTM, I used to micromanage every task, every sales call, every client meeting. It drained me and capped our growth. I was the bottleneck.
• 14:49
  So I hired a rock star in charge of sales and handed over the reins. Scary? Hell yes. Worth it? Absolutely. Absolutely.
• 15:01
  My friend and mentor Dan Martel says 80% done by someone else is 100% awesome. Guys, of course nobody is you. You'll always do it better than everybody else. But you don't have enough energy to do everything. So delegate and elevate and lead people to their highest self. They'll love you for it and you'll love you for it as well. That one move.
• 15:29
  freed me to focus on vision, strategy, and the harder than life movement, each and every one of you.
• 15:36
  So you're welcome. NTM's revenue soared and my team stepped up in ways I had never imagined. Our turnaround time for answering trouble tickets and solving trouble tickets is under two hours. It's unheard of in the business. Most do eight hours. So we're crushing that and just by empowering others to do the things that I used to do every day. And it opens me up.
• 16:04
  to do more critical thinking, to be a better person for all of you and all of them and just the world and it lights me up. So pick one task today, one of the three, I gave you kind of four under each three, each pillar, something you're holding onto out of control of fear and delegated today, trust your team. And remember your team can be your family, your wife, your girlfriend, your kids,
• 16:31
  anybody that's around you all the time, empower them. You'll be amazed at how it frees you to lead from your strengths. I could go into the quadrants, but remember upper right hand quadrants are things that you love to do and you're really good at. That's where you should be staying most of your time. The lower left hand quadrant is things that you hate to do and aren't good at. Never do those.
• 16:58
  Stay up and where you're successful. So little bonus there. There is a ripple effect of self-leadership. When you lead yourself first, the impact ripples out in ways you can't even imagine. Since I started prioritizing my health, clarity, and purpose, I've been doing a lot of work.
• 17:18
  and especially relinquishing surrendering control, my team at NTM has transformed. They're just not employees. They're leaders in their own right, taking ownership and driving results. That's actually one of our core values, delivering results. Why? Because they see me modeling it day in, day out. I'm not preaching hustle and burnout. I'm showing them what sustainable, authentic leadership looks like.
• 17:47
  In fact, we're one of those crazy companies that has family as a core value, which every business leader says not to do. But when you come to NTM, you'll see I lead by example. And if you are an NTM customer, if you're a heart of the life nation member, if you are on the NTM employee, you are family.
• 18:09
  because I will love you and support you like one until you decide not to. My daughter Ari feels all of this too. When I'm present, grounded, and full of energy, our time together is pure magic. She's still a teenager, still hates discipline, but I'd hate having me as a dad too, wouldn't you? I just...
• 18:29
  I'm relentless and I never, ever goof off. It is a sickness, but I love it. I love winning. Winning is more fun than fun is fun. All y'all, I think, feel it. I pour everything in every podcast, every coaching session, and every post comes a place on alignment and fire. I'm going to be a little bit more.
• 18:50
  When you lead yourself first, you don't just change your life. You inspire everyone around you to step up, show up, and live happier than life. Ask yourself, what ripple effect am I creating right now? Are you modeling burnout or brilliance? Choose brilliance, Heart of the Life Nation. It's contagious and it spreads out.
• 19:12
  like wildfire. You want the blueprint for self-leadership? It isn't just talk. It's a call to action. Here's your step-by-step blueprint to lead yourself first and avoid losing yourself in leadership. Get your notes out, people, because you're going to want to freaking remember these. And share this with anybody you think this would benefit. We all need a little refresher. So again, step one, set your non-negotiables. Pick two to three goals
• 19:42
  Habits that fuel your mind, body, and your soul. The examples again, 20-minute workout to build your physical foundation, 10-minute medication to clear your mind, seven to eight hours of really good sleep to recharge your energy, five minutes of gratitude or journaling to stay connected to your why. Write them down. Commit to them for 30 days. No excuses.
• 20:04
  Pillar two, step two, schedule a life audit. Block off an hour this week for your first life audit. Ask, am I happy and fulfilled? Is my health where it needs to be? Are my relationships thriving? Am I living my purpose? If anything's off, make a plan to fix it. Share your audit with a trusted friend or coach or partner or
• 20:27
  for accountability. Accountability is everything, guys. We have an accountability problem in this world right now. It's because some people need to go to jail. However, this is the world we live in and I have to be concerned with me, my family, and all you guys. So I digress.
• 20:49
  Step three, delegate one task. Pick one thing you're holding onto, a task, a project, a decision, and hand it off to someone you trust. Empower them to own it. Watch how it frees you to lead your strengths. Keep in mind, paint exactly what done looks like for you. So there is no ambiguity.
• 21:10
  This is what done looks like to me. And usually we put a number to it. This is what success on this project looks like. X, Y, Z. No leaving things ambiguity. You will just build frustration and you will think that you're not a good leader or that you can't delegate or that you don't trust your team.
• 21:34
  That is just clarity. Clarity eliminates confusion. Step four, build accountability. Share your non-negotiables and audit plan with someone who will hold you accountable. A friend, a teammate, or anybody in the heart of the life nation. Post about it on Instagram and tag me at kelly.segal.71. I'm here to support you and I'll hold you accountable just like my workout partner does every single morning. If I try to take any...
• 22:02
  Clear and easy, simple path. He gives it to me and says, what are you trying to take the day off? You must just stay home. And boy, y'all that know me, listen to this for any amount of time, you know that that's not even the worst of it. The voice in my head, which actually I just recently learned was my mind.
• 22:21
  evil stepfather, doesn't let me bitch out. So sorry to swear, but that's, it was very fitting. So Auditor Life Nation, hear me loud and clear. You can't lead others if you're losing yourself. The strongest leaders aren't the ones who sacrifice everything. They're the ones who prioritize their health, their purpose, and their happiness.
• 22:44
  When you lead yourself first, you become a beacon of authenticity, impact, and joy. Remember, joy is everlasting. Happiness is short. Joy is everlasting. You deserve to be alive, aligned, and happier than life, not just someday, but right now.
• 23:01
  Start today by setting your non-negotiables. Do your life audit. Delegate with trust. Share your journey with me. On Instagram, kelly.segal.71. Let's build a movement of leaders who live with fire and purpose. And until next time, Harder Life Nation, lead yourself first. Love fiercely and always stay harder than life. Let's change the world together.
• 23:25
  And if this episode hits home, share it with a leader in your life who needs to hear it. Subscribe on our YouTube channel at Heart of the Life for new episodes every Tuesday and Thursday. Follow me on Instagram at kelly.segal.71. Keep the fire burning. Together we are unstoppable. Let's do this.
• 23:44
  Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.