Latest / Billy & Lisa in the Morning: The After Show / It's Never Too Late...

Transcript

It's Never Too Late... · Billy & Lisa in the Morning: The After Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Was up. Everybody, Welcome in After Show podcast. It is Tuesday.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Justin here. I hope you had a great long weekend.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Hope you got the day off yesterday. If you did not,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: I am sorry. I did enjoy it. It was cold,
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: it was snowy, but it was a good time and
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: a busy weekend. I'll get to that in a moment,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: but as always, want to say thank you to listening
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: to this podcast for tuning in, especially if you listen
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: to the Billy and Lisa Show and then you listen
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: to the after Show. We appreciate it. It is a
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: companion podcast. I do say that even though I go
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: off on tangents and talk about whatever the hell I want.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: But remember you can always join the after show leave
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: it talk back. I feel like I don't get enough
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: for the after show. I feel like a lot of
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: you have a lot of things to say or ask
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: or whatever join the conversation. So remember you could always
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: leave a talk back anytime of the day, weekend, whatever. Hi, Justin.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: It's me again. I just left a message and I
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: didn't have enough time to get it all in, but
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: I wanted to say I have an upcoming dental procedure.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: And I'm going to put my ear buds in with
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: you guys on so that I can get the procedure
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: done and be relaxed by listening to you. I know,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: you guys come my nerves. So thank you, thank you,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: and also just wondering if you guys still talk to Manny,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: maybe you could give us an update on the app
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Chore podcast. Thank you. Oh well, first of all, good
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: luck on your procedure, and thank you for listening to us.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: We love being anybody's escape or entertainment. That's what we're
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: here for. Consistency. I guess you could say we here
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: every day, five days a week. You can always count
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: on that. If you don't hear us live, you can
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: always listen on the podcast, so on any platform, but
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: especially the iHeartRadio app. As far as Winnie talked to
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: her last week, she's doing good. She has her podcast,
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: you can check that out. I'm actually helping her with
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: some audio and stuff because she has to like build
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: a demo tape. I guess if you will a sample
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: of what she does, what she sounds like, you know,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: for jobs, you know what I mean. So I'm helping
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: gather that stuff for Winnie. So she can put it
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: together and she can send it out to different places
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: for work. So yeah, all is good. I mean, it's
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: just you know, we've talked about this endlessly. I know
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: that people have a lot to say about different things.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: But it's all good, man, It's all good. No love
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: loss with Winnie. I think she said that on her podcast,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: and I'll say that right here. You know, she gets it,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: we get it. It is what it is. Change has happened,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: and it is what it is. And just real quick,
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: I will say before I move on from this that
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: I have seen some comments and people saying about Riley
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: talking on the show, and you know, things like why
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: is she talking? But you got rid of Winnie. Remember
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: the company eliminated that position essentially, So Riley is not
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: a fourth mic, as Winnie was right, She's not a
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: part of the show on air. Her job is to
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: run it off the air, to run the board. She
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: can't do that from the phone screener place, so she
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: doesn't answer the phones anymore. She literally runs the show
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: just like Winnie did. And once in a while we
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: will include her in the conversation because she is a
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: young female and that's definitely what we are missing. On
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: the show. You know what I mean. But I guess
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: the company, they have their plans, they do what they do.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: It is what it is. It sucks, but yeah, that
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: position was not filled with Riley. She is still making
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: not much money, more money than she was making, nothing
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: compared to when he was making. So all is well,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: we move on. I guess this weekend had a great weekend.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: I want to talk about a couple of things. I
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: went to a baby shower one of my best friends
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: growing up, Bobby's Surprise. He is having a baby now.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: He is the last one of the guys, last one
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: of our friends to have a kid. We never thought
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: it was gonna happen, and it was actually like shocking
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: to us because he's such a great guy and he's
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: going to make a fantastic dad. But it's never too late.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: He is going to have a baby and is coming
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: in March, and his name is Bobby Surprise, and they're
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: not finding out what the sex is, so it's literally
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: baby surprise. So it was a dope baby shower. My
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: wife said it over and over again. It was a
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Jack and Jill. It was at a brewery, but they
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: have the bar and then they have like the big
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: room and they rented that room out. There was so
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: much food and shout out to his lady's fan. They
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: all listened to the show. It was great to talk
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: to them. Zeb was there. They know Zeb. They follow
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: ZEB two, so it was it was awesome. It was great.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: The food was I ate so much food this weekend.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: I was like living my best life. I had three
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: steak and chicken steak and cheese subs. They had a
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: full buffet of food which included steak and cheese with
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: the rolls and you can make your own sub. I
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: had three. And then there was the party on Sunday
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: for my son. I had all this pizza. It was
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: just fantastic. No shame. I feel like I've deprived myself
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: so much. I'm pretty happy with the way that I
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: look right now, so listen, it's all good. Two days
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: in a row not good, but I enjoyed it when
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: I ate it. But big shout out to Bobby and
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited for him. So all the guys were there.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: ZEB was there, my friend Mike, Chris. We all reunited.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: You know, we all have families, we all have kids.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: That's what happened. It happens right. Like I remember years ago,
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: before we had kids, we went out every single Friday night.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: We go to like a recovery meeting, and then we
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: go out to dinner, We go away for a night.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: It was unbelieva. It was so much fun. But then
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: we had kids, and you know that stuff has to stop,
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: well stop being as as common as it was. Definitely
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: not every week, but it's hard. You know. My friend
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Chris has three daughters, my friend Mike has two sons.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: I have two kids. It's not easy, but it was
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: great to see them on Saturday night. So we look
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: forward to baby surprise and then yesterday, I'm sorry, Sunday.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Yesterday was my son's birthday. But we had his party
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: on Sunday at the Boys and Girls Club. We've had
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: it there before. It's a fantastic place to have a
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: birthday party. First of all, January, finding a location not easy,
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: not easy when it's freezing out and like we've done
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: the trampoline park. We rented out an indoor baseball turf
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: area before. That was cool. But you know, he has
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: a lot of friends in school out of school, so
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: to accommodate thirty to forty kids, and their parents. You know,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: way do you go for that? The Boys and Girls
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: club we can rent for three hours. We have a
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: pool time, we have time for the gym, and they
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: have like a full kitchen set up and it was perfect.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: It was absolutely perfect, and my wife like crushed it.
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  Speaker 1: You know, she's a crazy person. This is her thing, right,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: throwing parties for her kids. It's she goes the extra mile.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: If you listen to the show, you know that she
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: goes the extra mile every single time because her kids
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: are everything to her. I mean, they are everything to
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: both of us. But there's nothing like a mom's love.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: So the theme was The Sandlot because my son loves
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: that movie. So she got the Sandlot cake. I did
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: post a picture. It's unbelievable. Shout out to Los Cafe
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: and Bakery. It's and Lawrence. That's they do the cake
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: every year. They killed it once again with the baseball cupcakes,
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: which was cool. And she set up in the in
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: the kitchen area. There's like a little dining room, okay,
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: and then there's a window where you can see into
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: the kitchen, so it looks like a concession stand. So
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: she set it up like a concession stand. She had
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: the She bought a chip rack for all the chips.
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  Speaker 1: She had all the Sandlot memorabilia everywhere, the cake, the cupcakes.
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  Speaker 1: It was really really good. I brought a TV so
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: the guys could watch the game at three o'clock. It
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: was from one to four, but at three o'clock we
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: turned the game on and then we went to my
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: house and watched the rest of it. But my son
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: had a great time. All of his friends were there.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: He had to sleepover with his friends at his house.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: So it was good. Man, it was really good. Nine
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: years old, just insane. I put up a post a
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Facebook memory, and I told the story on the air too.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: In twenty seventeen, I got the job on Kiss went
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: to wait on the Maddie Show. He called me, and
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: then the next day my son was born, So it's
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: like it was crazy. I was like, yeah, I want
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: the job, but yeah, I can't come to work tomorrow
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: because my son's being born. So I can't believe it's
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: it's been nine years. Wild What a ride. If you're
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: a parent, you know this, You know the feeling. I
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: think the biggest thing about having children for me is
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: they give me purpose, you know, and put aside the
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: love and all of that that they give you and
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: you give them, and what that feeling is like. It's
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: also the purpose, you know, my whole life. I thought
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: to myself, you know, I don't want to die, right,
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: nobody wants to die. You fear death, You think about
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: when your time comes. You don't even want to think
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: about it. But when I had children and I found
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: out what that love was like, it kind of made
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: the thought of dying easier, if that makes sense, because
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: my purpose is to raise them, is to give them
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: the best life, to make sure that they're okay, and
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: if I can do that, it just makes the end
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: of my life that much easier, if that makes sense.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: So now I don't fear it as much because I
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: know what my purpose is and I'm doing it to
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  Speaker 1: the best of my ability and raising my children and
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: making sure that they're good people and that you know
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: that they have the best opportunities that I can give them.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: And that's my job. My job is to is to
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: make sure I'm okay, and in my specific case, that's
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: that I stay clean, my wife too, that we stay
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: clean and sober, and that that's number one, and that
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: we continue to show up for our family, for our kids,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: show up to work, and uh, build a good life.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: And I think we've done a good job so far.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: It's definitely not easy. There's always ups and downs, especially
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: in a long term marriage, but you know, we make
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: it work and we try to make time for for
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: ourselves and and you know, work through the difficulties. Definitely
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: not easy, but I couldn't ask for a better life.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: So that was on Sunday, and then yesterday was his birthday,
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: so you know, I got up, I went to the gym,
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: I worked out, and then when I got back, we
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: took them sledding, so that was fun. There's a school
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: in Salem that has like a nice hill. That was fun.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: And then they had a McDonald's party and uh, and
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: that was it. That wrapped up the long weekend. So
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: there was some There was a lot of friends and
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: a lot of family, which is always a good thing.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: I watched a lot of football too, obviously, and then
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: the football games all obviously this weekend co pats crazy.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: You know, my dad comes up every Sunday. He has
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: since the day my son was born. My dad has
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: shown up every single weekend. And that's something that connects
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: us as football, you know, because he comes up all
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: year round, but during football season he's there every Sunday
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: watching the game with me, with the family, with the kids,
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: and it's great. It's really great, you know. And I
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: remember the when he first started coming up when I
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: lived in Haverol, he would come up on Sundays, we'd
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: watch football, and I remember when it first started happening.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: I was like, wow, this is like, this is like
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: a special thing with my father and I, you know,
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: watching the game together. It was kind of because we've
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: had a very rocky relationship. You know. You can imagine
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: my father took the brunt of my addiction. Seriously, the
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: brunt of it. You know. My mom and dad divorced
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: when I was probably fifteen or so. You know, my
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: mom was in was, you know, active addiction. She left
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: to go get treatment and she didn't come back. You
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: couldn't come back to that house because I was using.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: My father was a mess. It was just it was
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: just a crazy, crazy environment. So she ended up leaving
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: and trying to build a new life for herself. And
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: then my father was kind of left, you know, in
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: shambles basically. And what made it worse was me, who
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: was all messed up. So that's when I went really downhill.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: And you know, you want to talk about putting someone
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: through the ringer. My dad, man, he stuck with me
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: through it all, but all the stealing and lying and
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: just just all around abuse. But you know, his thing
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: was always family first. You know, he kicked me out
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: of the house, but he never pressed charges on the
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: things that I did. He was always there for me,
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: even when you know I stole all of his money.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: You know, there's a story that I share when I
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: if I tell my story, you know, in a recovery setting,
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: and I tell my entire story, there's one story in
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: particular that I always go back to, and it was,
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: you know, because when I started getting locked up, you know,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: that was the thing to do when I was younger.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: You know, I was looking back and I think when
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: I was a teenager. You know, a lot of kids
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: think about what college they're going to go to, you know,
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: graduating high school. You know, that's that's what you know,
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: growing up turning eighteen, you know, you know, and for me,
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: it was, you know, when am I going to go
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: to jail? Right? I know that sounds crazy, but the
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: environment that I grew up in everyone that I knew
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: went to jail, and like you weren't a man until
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: you got locked up. If you never did time, you
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: weren't taken seriously. So that's what happened. I ended up getting,
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: you know, it's committed to dys. I was in Youth
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: Youth Services uh DSS. I got pulled out of the home.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: I was putting foster homes. And then when I turned seventeen,
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: I started going to adult jail Cambridge, bill Rick of Plymouth.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: And there was one time in particular, now my dad,
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: every time I get locked up, he would be there,
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: you know, he would come and visit me and support me,
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: even even when I was, you know, completely destroyed. But
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: the one time in particular I got it was in
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: December and I started stealing money from him, stealing check
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: from him. He didn't know. I would take a check
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: and I would write it to myself and I would
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: cash it. And so I was doing this for a
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: couple of weeks and I was, you know, draining his
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: bank account and he didn't notice at first. And then
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: it got to a point where I wrote a check
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: for one hundred dollars for myself and it wouldn't. It wouldn't.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: It wouldn't like go through with the bank. And so
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: I knew I had depleted all of his money, and
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: so I went back and I stole another check and
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: I wrote it for fifty dollars, and I went into
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: the bank, a different bank, and there was insufficient funds.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: And so I went back a third time and I
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: wrote the check for twenty dollars and it cashed. I
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: literally took all of his money right before Christmas. And
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: then I got locked up for something else. I had warrants.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: I got locked up, I got sentenced. I got a
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: year in prison. So I'm in there and obviously nobody
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: is writing, nobody's calling. I'm not getting any visitors. And
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: the reason why I really share this story is because
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: you know, when you're in there, you got to play
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: a part in a sense. I mean, I was who
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: I was, you know, I'd been in and out of
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: the air. I knew everybody. But when you're in there,
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: it's a lot of joking around. It's a lot of
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: tough guy shit. It's all like nonsense, you know. And
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: so I'm in there one day and they call for visits.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: I was thinking I was playing cards and they called
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: my name and I looked up, like, I have a visitor?
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: Who's that? And the guys that were with me were like, oh,
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: who's you gotta chick, you gotta chick visiting you? Like,
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: who are you talking to? And I'm like, oh, well,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: maybe it is. I gotta go see who it is,
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: you know, tough guy. So I get up and I'm
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: walking down. I'm kind of like, you know, talking shit
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: with the other guys. And I walked down to the
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: visiting room. And when I walked into through the door,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: I'm looking around and then I see my father and
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: my brother who was very young, we have a nine
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: year age difference, sitting there waiting for me, and I
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: just remember like starting to cry. Right this wave of
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: emotion started to hit me, but you know, I was
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: trying to hold it together. I walked up, you pick
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: up the phone. You can talk to him because of
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: his class, and my father just said something to me like,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: you know, I just want you to know that we
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: love you and we just want you to get better.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: And I just lost it, man, Like I started crying
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: in the day room, like I couldn't hold it together.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: You know. There I was mister tough guy. You know,
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: I took every dollar from this man's bank account. He
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: couldn't even buy a Christmas gift for anybody in his life.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: Never mind, my brother could not buy a gift for
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: him because I took all the money. He didn't press charges.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: He showed up to visit me. He put money on
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: my account and he said, I love you, son, I
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: just I just want you to get better, you know.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: So that's just one story with my dad. There's so
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: many more. And I continued using after that a lot,
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: and it got to a point where he ended up
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: just kicking me out of the house and just told
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: me he never wanted to see me again. And I used,
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: I used, you know, longer after that, and eventually I
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: got arrested, went to jail, and he had he had
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: basically washed his hands with me at that point. And
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: so when I got clean in two thousand and eight,
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: my dad didn't didn't speak to me for I think
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: the first two years. You know, he would talk through
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: my mom, like he would say to my mom, I'm
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: just not ready, Like I'm just not ready. I don't
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: know when we be ready. I don't know if I'll
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: ever be ready. Because you know, think about that, man,
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: Think about It's not just the money. It's not just
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: that his credit was completely destroyed. It was the pain
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: of watching your son kill himself over and over and
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: over again. And this kid who he always believed in me, right,
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: he always knew that I was smarter than I put on,
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: you know, because he raised me. He knew I did
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: good in school. He knew I had a lot of potential.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: That was something that my teachers always always said to
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: my parents, to me, is he just has so much potential.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: He just needs to apply himself. So think about from
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: a father's standpoint, you know, knowing what your son could be,
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: the potential that he does, that he has, but he
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: just wastes it all away with drugs in the streets
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: and bullshit. It's hard for him. But after a couple
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: of years after getting clean, he finally decided to see me,
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: and that's when we started to rebuild our relationship. And
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: you know it, it hasn't gone back to this like
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: really great father in some relationship. Listen, we we we talk.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: I made amends to him, that's part of the process,
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: you know. But he never he never could fully say
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: that he was proud of me, and that was a
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: big deal for me. I did tell this story on
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: the air because it was semi recent, actually was last summer.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Through all of my success that I've had staying clean
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: and going back to school and my family and the
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: job and my house and just all these things that
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: I that I did. You know, when I was younger,
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: my dad would would talk to me and he'd tell
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: me over and over again, like you have so much potential.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: You know, you need to go back to school, Like
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: that's gonna be the key. You need to get an education,
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: you need to get a job, all this stuff. And
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: I never did any of it. And then when I
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: got clean, I was able to do these things and
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: more right and more. Like I went to school, I
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: got a four year degree, I was on the dean's list,
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: I had a very high GPA. I got graduated with honors,
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: and then you know, getting the internship and the job
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: and all these things. And he was there for it all.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: But he never could like say to me that he
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: was proud of me, even though I knew he was,
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: because he would talk to other people and tell them
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: how proud he was of me. I would hear it.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: I would hear it from family members, from family friends.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: They'd say to your father is so fucking proud of you, Justin,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, why doesn't he just tell me? But
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: it was just a different generation, I think. But last
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: summer he finally did it. Man, he finally did it.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: He came it was it was on my birthday. Actually,
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: he came up to my birthday. He gave me a
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: card and he said some words to me which I'll
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: never forget of, how proud he is for me and
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: that I was what I was able to do. And
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: he said something like, you know, I'm a better father
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: and a better husband than he could ever be, and
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: he's so proud of me. And I was like, man,
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: My friend Mike was right there and he couldn't believe
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: it either, Like it came out of nowhere. So you know,
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: it takes time, man, Sometimes it takes that long, right,
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: how long seventeen years to hear you know that your
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: father's proud of you? Even though I know he is.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: I knew he was. Yeah, it just it got tough
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: for me because I'll give you one particular example. I
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: was asked to be the commencement speaker at Northern Essex
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: Community College. I graduated from there in twenty ten or
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: twenty eleven, I forget anyway, they asked me to the
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: commencement speaker, so I went and did it, and they
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: recorded it and they posted it on YouTube and my
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: dad watched it with Nanny, my mother in law, and
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: he didn't say anything to me about it, you know,
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: and I didn't bring it up to him, and it
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: really bothered me, you know, like I just wanted him
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: to say so bad, like that was great job kid,
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: like great job son, so proud of your son, and
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: he didn't, and it really bugged me. I almost got
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: like resentful about it because another part of me thought
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: to myself, I made amends to him. I know he
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: loves me, but is he's still holding on to the past,
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: which is okay, that's okay, Listen, everybody, everybody you know,
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: in their own time forgives. I knew that, but like,
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: was he holding onto something from the past and is
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: that why? And you know, it turns out that wasn't it. Man.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: He's just he's kind of old school. And he finally
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: got to a moment where he could tell me that
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: he was proud of me. And I'm super grateful for that.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: So it was great watching the game with him this
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: past Sunday. You know, he'll he'll be up this Sunday
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: and he bets right. He's not like a big better,
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: but he gambles on the games. He's short money, like
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: a hundred bucks. So it's so funny. My friends love
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: him because every week he comes up and watching him
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: why the game when he's up or when he's down.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: You know, he gets all excited when he's up and
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: then he gets all down when he's not winning. It's funny,
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: but it's just show money. He's just having fun. But yeah,
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: I love you Dad. Anyway, that's it for today. God
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: I went on a tangent there, but yeah, listen. If
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: you ever want to join the after show, please leave
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: a talk back. I'd love to hear from you guys
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: about anything going on in your life, any questions you
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: have about the show, about anything this This podcast is
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: fully transparent as best as I can. You know. I
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: love I love meeting people that listen to this podcast
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: and listen to the show. I love meeting people when
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: they say, hey, I'm a big fan of the Billy
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: and Lisa show. And I'm also an after Army after
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: show army member. I love that so much. I love
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: being a part of your life, so send you talkbacks
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: in Tomorrow is Wednesday, so I'll grab someone to join
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: the podcast, so I'm not just yapping myself. It was
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: kind of you know, we're back after a long weekend.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to bother anybody, but I'll grab somebody
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: tomorrow for your entertainment until we talk again. Peace,