Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Almost Famous In Depth: Blake Horstmann

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Almost Famous In Depth: Blake Horstmann · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: This is Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous in Depth.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Ashley and I are back with another in depth episode
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: of Almost Famous podcast. Ashley, I would say one of
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  Speaker 1: the highlights of this self isolation process has been it
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: kind of has forced us to get creative and uh
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: and start doing more in depth, which is something that
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: I know you and I both love doing. Yeah, that
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  Speaker 1: was our goal. Honestly, we were like, Okay, this spring,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: in between Bachelor and Bachelor Rette season, let's do as
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: many in depth with a big Bachelor personalities that we can.
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  Speaker 1: We've had a couple of them before we bring on
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  Speaker 1: our our guests today, which is a name that that
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: we all know. Uh, there's been a lot of kind
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  Speaker 1: of recent things happening with this person and this character. Actually,
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  Speaker 1: I want to take a second to talk to you.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you've been getting many messages on
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  Speaker 1: social media. I'm sure you do. A lot of people
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  Speaker 1: lean on you for kind of emotional support. I've been
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: getting a lot of message you if you're listening, you
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: know who you are, from people saying hey, they really
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  Speaker 1: enjoyed the podcast, or if they don't even mentioned the podcast.
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  Speaker 1: People out there telling me stories of pain of confusion
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  Speaker 1: of chaos in their lives right now, in the midst
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: of the shutdown and the virus. Um. I think we
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  Speaker 1: do it. We try to do it every podcast, but
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  Speaker 1: I think it's it's appropriate for you and I just
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  Speaker 1: to kind of take a second, uh and recognize that
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  Speaker 1: there's people out there really hurting, and to tell people
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  Speaker 1: and encourage everybody to start looking around them at people
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  Speaker 1: that are are feeling like outsiders and maybe try to
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  Speaker 1: do something to help. Yeah. Um, I know that people
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  Speaker 1: look to podcasts for like kind of friends when they
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  Speaker 1: don't have any around them. So if that's how you
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  Speaker 1: guys are feeling about our podcast, about any podcast that
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  Speaker 1: makes us feel so good? Um, and yeah, for it's
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: just like a tip to anyone who is feeling lonely.
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  Speaker 1: You may listen to our podcast, but you know, listen
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  Speaker 1: to a humor podcast or listen to a girl talk podcast.
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  Speaker 1: It may make you feel more part of a community
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  Speaker 1: at this point. Yeah, it's it's interesting. Actually, I've gotten
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  Speaker 1: a message today right before we got on uh. And
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  Speaker 1: I always get messages from people saying they're huge fans
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  Speaker 1: of you and and fans of you and Jared, but
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  Speaker 1: today I got one from somebody just saying kind of
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  Speaker 1: telling me their story through a message of of how
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  Speaker 1: much pain and difficulty days came through UH during this
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  Speaker 1: time and they feel alone. But here's the truth of
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  Speaker 1: it all. UH. And I think our next guests can
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  Speaker 1: it can verify this is the one thing about this
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  Speaker 1: quarantine that's been UH that that is UH that is
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  Speaker 1: helpful to understand, is we're all in this together. Like
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  Speaker 1: everybody is in isolation right now. Like if you feel
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  Speaker 1: lonely and you're at home and you're like, I haven't
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  Speaker 1: seen my friends in weeks, nobody likes me, you know,
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  Speaker 1: maybe you're starting to question, like if anybody really cares
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  Speaker 1: about you, Like you should be reaching out to people,
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  Speaker 1: you should be asking for help. But second is we're
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  Speaker 1: all alone right now, Like all of us are like
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  Speaker 1: I think a little bit pulling your hair out, a
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  Speaker 1: little bit confused. We haven't seen people in a while.
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  Speaker 1: Like you are definitely not alone. We are in this together.
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  Speaker 1: This is a part of it. Yes, And I just
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  Speaker 1: wanted to say thank you for sending my dad and
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  Speaker 1: all his coworkers at the hospital that sweet basket of gifts.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Did they get the things that? Yeah, it's one of
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  Speaker 1: the things that makes them feel appreciated. And you know,
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  Speaker 1: just those small old gestures can just warm somebody's heart.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: And that, I mean, that's not even a small gesture.
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  Speaker 1: What you did was amazing, So thank you so much.
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  Speaker 1: You got that today was so cute. Ben sent a
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  Speaker 1: package of coffee and sweets and like a couple of
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  Speaker 1: little crafty items. Was really adorable. Thank you so much.
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  Speaker 1: I I don't know how he hasn't texted you yet,
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  Speaker 1: but he asked for your number earlier. Awesome. Hey, well
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: that's it's a small thing to do for a lot
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  Speaker 1: of people sacrifice their lives in the front lines. Well, hey, anyways,
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  Speaker 1: I just want to start that with that. Actually, I
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  Speaker 1: know you and I both have have have shared in
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  Speaker 1: our empathy and sympathy and also just our own kind
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  Speaker 1: of struggles with being isolated and feeling a little bit alone.
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  Speaker 1: So I wanted to start with that, uh. And I
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  Speaker 1: also want to start with it, Ashley, because our guest
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  Speaker 1: today is somebody that Batchel Nation knows well, somebody that
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  Speaker 1: Bachelation has uh learned to uh just to be honest,
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  Speaker 1: to be confused by, to really get behind and love on.
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  Speaker 1: To also be very angry at to kind of push
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  Speaker 1: to the side and then kind of invite back in
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  Speaker 1: like this, this contestant has had, um, I think it's
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  Speaker 1: very fair fair to say, a roller coaster of a
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  Speaker 1: ride leading to this point in their life and and
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  Speaker 1: through all of this, Uh, they've been very open about
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  Speaker 1: their struggles with mental health. Uh, their struggles with kind
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: of anxiety and depression and panic. Uh. Some similar topics
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  Speaker 1: are probably what a lot of us are feeling, um
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  Speaker 1: right now in this in this kind of season that
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  Speaker 1: we're in in life. But we're gonna talk about all
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  Speaker 1: this today. It's gonna be a wide array of topics.
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  Speaker 1: We're gonna bring on our guests for this episode of
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  Speaker 1: the In Depth Podcast. Blake Hortzman, Welcome to Almost Famous
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: in Depth. Thank you, thank you. Happy to be here
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  Speaker 1: to be a fun time I have been actually like
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: it's given me something to look forward to because a
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  Speaker 1: lot thanks Blake. Are you quarantined alone? So I am
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  Speaker 1: completely quarantine alone. The only person I've been seeing is
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  Speaker 1: my sister who's also quarantine alone. So we've been Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: But you guys ever just like become roomies or is
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  Speaker 1: that too much together? Nice for you guys? She well,
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  Speaker 1: she's working still virtually, so like moment teaches, but I
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: see on the weekends. Yeah, that's been I don't have
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  Speaker 1: any pets or anything like that, so I'm pretty alone.
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  Speaker 1: Well let's just start with there. I mean, that's a
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  Speaker 1: great question, Ash Blake. A lot of people out there
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  Speaker 1: are going to be listening to this during the time
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  Speaker 1: of a shutdown, and who knows how long it will last.
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  Speaker 1: At this point, Uh, how has it been for you,
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  Speaker 1: Like you are alone in your house? You obviously life
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  Speaker 1: has slowed down a lot. We'll get to kind of
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  Speaker 1: what you were doing here in a second, but just
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: in general process with us, what is it like to
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: be locked into an apartment all alone? Yeah? It is? Uh,
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  Speaker 1: I mean this is literally I feel like this has
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  Speaker 1: never happened, like in human history anything like this. So
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  Speaker 1: we're all figuring out as we go. And I've actually
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: so I've been aware this in the last two years.
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  Speaker 1: I'm a big routine guy, but the last two years
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  Speaker 1: I haven't had anything even resembling a routine. So I've
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: taken advantage of this. Last like month, I've gotten into
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  Speaker 1: a routine again, which has been kind of nice. I
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: got myself a peloton. So I've been writing that every day. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: it's great writing that every day. I've been working out
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  Speaker 1: making music. I've been like picked up hobbies. I ordered
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  Speaker 1: an electric guitar, which I got. I'm gonna learned to
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  Speaker 1: play that. And then I used to play the sacks
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  Speaker 1: as a kid, so I ordered the sacks and I'm
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  Speaker 1: gonna learn to play that again. So very cool. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: so picking up some new hobby or not new hobbies
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  Speaker 1: to make maybe you know, figuring out small hobbies that
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  Speaker 1: I used to enjoy. So I'm trying to take advantage.
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  Speaker 1: I think most people should try and take advantage of
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  Speaker 1: this time right now as lonely or you know has
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  Speaker 1: And I know that's hard for some who have like kids.
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  Speaker 1: I can't imagine having kids right now. I can't imagine.
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  Speaker 1: I can't imagine. And I've never been more thankful to
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  Speaker 1: not have kids yet. Yeah, it would be very hard.
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  Speaker 1: I have some friends who have, uh, and yeah they're struggling.
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  Speaker 1: But I think two real quick. I I feel like
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  Speaker 1: right now, so I know we're like all everything's virtual
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  Speaker 1: and everything, But I talked to some friends I haven't
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  Speaker 1: talked to in ten years. Have you guys heard of
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  Speaker 1: that like house party at or whatever. That is a definitely.
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  Speaker 1: So if I was on my house party at the
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  Speaker 1: other night with college dreammates haven't spoken to in like
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  Speaker 1: ten years, so it's crazy, like it's kind of bringing
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  Speaker 1: us all together because you spoke to how everybody's in
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  Speaker 1: this together. So it's kind of cool at the same
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  Speaker 1: storme is cool. I was talking to Ben last week
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  Speaker 1: about it. I was like, I think I'd like, like
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  Speaker 1: really enjoy ten days quarantine and alone. But I think
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  Speaker 1: after that was would be when the lonely starts to hit.
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  Speaker 1: But that's let's find it nice that you have your
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  Speaker 1: sister who pops in every now, yeah, we pop anyone.
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  Speaker 1: But I agree, this is like cool, like the first
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  Speaker 1: like two weeks now I'm like a whole boy. Maybe
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  Speaker 1: two of this. Well. One of the things Blake, you know,
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  Speaker 1: just for anybody out there listening, Blake and I both
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  Speaker 1: live in Denver. Uh, We're good friends. When I'm back
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  Speaker 1: in Denver, which is it often right now, we do
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  Speaker 1: try to see each other when I'm back. One of
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  Speaker 1: the things that we've always talked about, I mean really
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  Speaker 1: ever since you were on the show and I first
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  Speaker 1: met you, was the transitions that this experience brings to you, right,
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  Speaker 1: you want to take advantage of the opportunities that presents
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  Speaker 1: them themselves. And uh, you know, a lot of times
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  Speaker 1: it does open you up for new careers and and
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  Speaker 1: new opportunities that you've never could have imagined. But you
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  Speaker 1: and I have both said, like, you never want to
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  Speaker 1: lose yourself, uh, in the experience, and there was a
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  Speaker 1: moment in time that you felt like you were starting
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  Speaker 1: to lose yourself. You were so busy, you were traveling
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  Speaker 1: all the time, you were exhausted. I remember at one
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  Speaker 1: point I you came over for a drink and You're like,
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  Speaker 1: I've been to twelve different places in the last seven days.
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  Speaker 1: It was something ridiculous and why I didn't even understand
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: how it worked. Have this Has this slowdown been hard
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  Speaker 1: for you to adjust to the new pace or has
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  Speaker 1: it been refreshing? Are you healthier? Uh? You know, mental
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: health is something you've always talked about, Like, how is
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: your mental health right now? Yeah? I think you were
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: used the right word. I think it's been really refreshing. Actually,
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: because I was on a tear there at the beginning
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  Speaker 1: of the year. I was I was doing you know,
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  Speaker 1: DJ sets all over the country. I was doing some
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: appearances here and there, and so I was definitely running
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  Speaker 1: on empty. Since has been a bit of a blessing
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  Speaker 1: in disguise for me. I let my especially when Paradise
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  Speaker 1: was airing, Uh, kind of let my health get away
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  Speaker 1: from me. Um. You know, I was in a bad spot. Uh,
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: and I gained like fifteen pounds and I was just
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  Speaker 1: eating like crap. I was in bed all the time,
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: didn't leave my apartment, and I was I've been trying
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: to get back in shape, but this last like month,
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  Speaker 1: I've lost about ten pounds, lost about three percent. Bodie
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: fack because I've just like been able to take the
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  Speaker 1: time for myself and hopefully a lot of people are
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: doing that, trying to take this time, you know, and
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: really trying to figure out themselves and you know what
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: they can do to become healthier, whether it be mentally
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: or physically. Yeah. Well, uh, blake again. I want to
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  Speaker 1: throw it to Ashley here. She's gonna uh kind of
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: take over from here. But I appreciate your vulnerability. I
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: I think it's gonna be really helpful as this podcast continues,
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: is hearing your heart where your minds at pretty bed.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: They're listening, that's going. Who the heck is Blake Hortzman.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: Uh he Uh, he's from Colorado. You should definitely google
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: him please as a friend, I would love for you
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: to google to him. What has best Blake Horsemen best
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: known for? Would be a great legal search. Um. He
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: was on Beca Kufern's season of The Bachelotte. He was
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: runner up um to her now fiance Garrett on Becca's season.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: He did fall hard for Becca. He had a lot
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: of respect for Becca. I know that was a real
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: relationship and we'll talk about that later on that lasted. Uh.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: He went on to season six of Bachelor in Paradise,
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: where he dated or I guess we should say have
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: feelings for Tasia, Kaitlin, Christina and Hannah Gee. Now, yes,
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: that is what we know Blake for. But there's more
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: to him than that. Uh, Blake, you grew up in Colorado.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: Describe your childhood. Yeah, grow U in the small mountain
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: town here in Colorado. Gradual so I graduated with like
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: a hundred ten. It's a pretty small town. Um. Yeah,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: it's pretty small. Yeah, I mean it's you know these
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: mountain towns called out a little different because there's like
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: huge like area wise, but like there's not many people
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: because everybody has huge lands and stuff. So it's kind
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: of hard to describe with people who don't know kind
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: of what the mountains look like. But um, yeah, I
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: still like five h kids maybe foreign kids total in
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  Speaker 1: my high school. Uh, pretty small high school. Uh, close
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: to my family. Um, parents did get divorced, you know
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  Speaker 1: when I was what was like sixteen, fifteen sixteen, So
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: that was hard obviously, especially in a small town. I
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: think it makes it a lot harder. Uh. And then
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: from there I went to college in Nebraska, so also
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: another small college in the Midwest. Um, and then from
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: then moved back to Colorado after graduating there and lived
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: in Denver now for about six years. Did your parents
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: divorce have any effect on how you looked at relationships
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: and love? Did you still want to get married at
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: that point? Absolutely? So it had a weird effect on
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: me because my parents definitely, you know, they had they
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: were married very young. Um, they were together gosh, I
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: want to say eighteen years something like that. Eighteen years
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: a long time, Like it wasn't like a queen cooking
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: hairriage or anything. And uh, but they were you know,
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: definitely together for the kids for a long time, and
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: so it was almost when it finally they decided, you
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: know to kind of part ways. Uh, it hurts, but
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: at the same time, I knew it was best for everybody,
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: and they're both very happy now literally in the next
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: relationship they were into. They've been together since so for
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: both of them. So my mom remarried, my dad now
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: been dating you know, the same woman for ten years,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: maybe maybe longer. So um, So, yeah, it was. It
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: was one of those weird things where it didn't make
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: me not believe in love or not believe in marriage,
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: because they gave her the best shot at the last one,
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: you know, as long as possible. They raised me and
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: my sister and stayed together for us, loved us. I
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: was always in a very loving home. And then when
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: they split up, they still found you know, remarried and
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: found love again. So definitely didn't affect you know, my
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: love life or anything like that. Tell tell us a
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: little bit more about what it's like. Um. One of
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: the things that I don't think we've ever discussed on
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: in death podcast though, is uh, as somebody it's in
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: high school or late high school, you know, you had
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: some traumatic experiences. I know it was public that you
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: were at school. Uh, you're a senior when there was
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: a school shooting at your high school. Uh. In addition
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: to that, obviously, we just talked about the separation of
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: your parents. Uh. For anybody out there listening, that's just like, hey,
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: these feel like heavy topics. Uh. And not everybody has
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: been through a school shooting. Um, that is a unique experience,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: but a lot of people have been through divorce. How
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: do you process this and has it changed your perception
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: of kind of life and how you see the world. Yeah, yeah,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: my high school. You know, at the time, when you're
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: going through that, you don't really realize that it's much
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: different than everybody else. I mean, obviously a school shooting
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: is very unique. But when you're going through it, you know,
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: you don't really think much of it. But when you
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: look back on it's like, man, high school, those four
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: or three or four years really transformed who I am
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: today and the man I am uh still you know,
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: and parents divorce, Um, yes, it was very hard, you know,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: and especially in a small town you know. Um, But
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: at the same time, it brought me and my sister
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: very very close, and so that that is something that
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: I'll always be thankful for. Me and my sister are
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: super close. Now she's two years younger than me. Um,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: we were always kind of close, but that's um we're
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: going through. The divorce brought us very very close together.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: And UM then yeah, I mean it was not much
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: longer after. Its kind of during Actually, Um, I was
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: a senior in in high school and a complete stranger
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: walked into my high school, didn't have any ties to
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: the high school and took took um some female students hostage.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: And it was very scared, obviously for everybody in the
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: community and the state really came together. But for me,
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: it was kind of strange because or you know, hard,
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: because my sister was a freshman at the time, and
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: then my mom actually worked in high school too, so
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: I had basically my whole family in that high school
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: at the time. So it hit me a little differently, um,
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: because you know, so much could have been taken from
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: me that day, and you know, I'll never forget my
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: mom was actually the one who got on the intercom
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: and said like code white, and I could hear it
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: in my mom's voice that something was wrong, you know,
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: and the teacher. Remember the teacher looking at me, and
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: I'm looking at the teacher, and I could say how
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: something was off. And I'll never forget stacking desks in
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: front of doors and taking windows and things like that,
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: and it's it was very hard to process at the time.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I remember crying, but I couldn't figure out why. I
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: remember that a lot um. And but one of the
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: cool things that came from it is the community, the
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: state and that the country really rallied around us uh.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: And I remember we were getting I was getting calls
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: from people that I had, you know, would never have
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: probably talked to, and they were calling UM in support.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: And remember there was a ton of money donated to
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: my school, and I remember we had a whole classroom
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: full of Teddy Bears things like that. So it was
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: cool to see the outpouring of love UM when things
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: like that happened, and how people can kind of come together,
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: and it gave me I mean, sometimes you can lose,
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: you know, faith in humanity a lot actually, and that
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: was just a reminder that there are really good people
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: out there. And that was that was kind of a
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: cool thing. Was everybody, Okay, we did lose one female. Yeah, Um,
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: and uh yeah, it was. It was really hard. Uh
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: you know, she was small school, so you kind of
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: know everybody, and uh, it was. It was also very
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: god incredible to see was her parents um rally and
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: be so strong and she they actually there's a Emily
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: Keys Foundation. Her name's Emily Keys. There's an Emily Keys
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Foundation now and anytime you actually just did exactly renew
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: my license. It was kind of a weird moment where
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: I was going through the UM it's giving new driver's
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: license and in it it says, would you like to
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: donate to the Emily Keys UM. I think it's a
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: donor foundation because she donated all of you know, her
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: organs and everything. And I was like, oh my god,
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: that's crazy that that out of that, you know, how
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: many lives have been saved. And I was like, hey, yeah,
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: I was like donate, donate, donate. So it was interesting
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: and it was it was just the strength that her
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: parents showed and her family showed was also, um, it
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: was very inspiring. Yeah, do you do you feel like,
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: I mean, how much of that there's always I'm in
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: therapy right now, UM, and my counselor talks about there
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: is this moment in every person, no matter if you're
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: male or female, or how you identifies life where you
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: because like you see, like there's this you see the
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: world differently, become an adult in a sense, you lose
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: your night not naiveness, you uh the I guess the
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: lens of the world looks different. Was this that moment
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: for you or if not yet? I remember there was
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: a moment during I haven't talked about a while. It
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: choked out. I'll never forget. So when we were evacuated
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: from the high school, um by you know, swat teams
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: um room by room. I remember going into the they
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: huddled us into the gymnasium, which was in a different building,
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: and they heldled us into the gymnasium and I remember
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: seeing my mom and sister for the first time, you know,
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: and we like ran to the middle of the gymnasium
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: and did a big group hug and it was just
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: like in that moment, it was like, gosh, things can
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: you just ripped from you know, ripped ripped from you
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: so quickly and stuff fast. Um And it's strange maybe
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: to learn that in high school when I was like
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: sixteen or seventeen, um, but it was definitely a moment
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: that I will always remember, like being so thankful that
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: they weren't ripped for me, and there was and then
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: also at the same time, though, feeling the pain of
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: Emily's family and how she was ripped from them. You know,
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: it was it was a lot to take in, you know,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: the six and seventeen and still stuff. I'm sure you
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: know processed along the way, and it took a while,
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: but to be so thankful that for what I have,
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: But then at the same time, somebody lost their child,
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: you know, that was that was a hard thing to
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: deal with, you know, in a six and cents. I
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: remember just I remember watching CNN and they were like,
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: you know, it was a helicopter with my school, and
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: I remember seeing certain things happening, and I remember just
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: losing and crying and I was like why, you know,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: like why am I crying right now? But it was
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: just so much the process at the time. Do you think, um,
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: have have you ever been that scared again? Now? I
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: guess that's that's a good point. I mean, I've never really,
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: I've never really thankfully thank God that I've never really
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: experienced anything like that. And there was a feeling of helplessness,
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: Like I'll never forget that. I'll never forget the feeling
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: of helplessness and us running from like classroom classroom to
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: try and like lock doors and find doors that had locks,
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: and you'd hear a knock on the door and you'd pant.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: You'd be like, oh my god, what's happened? Because we
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: had no information? Um, So, I mean it was complete terror,
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: but also for myself, but most most importantly, like I
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: knew my sister was in you know that that hype
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: that the school as well, and my mom and friends,
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: and like your whole life you know, at that time
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: in your sixteen, your whole life is in that school.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: And so it was not only worried about yourself, be
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: worried about people love too, And that was that was
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: really hard. Did you feel like you had like long
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: term effects by it, like going back to school? Um? Yeah,
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: I mean, of course obviously, like that's a life changing
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: moment obviously, um and something that well unfortunately too many
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: people go through to be honest now, Um, but I
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: remember going back to school. A couple of weeks later,
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: they kind of opened up to school and I remember
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: they they changed the door shut. Um of the room
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: that really everything took place in, and it was really eerie.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: But also, like I said, it was all of the
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: students came together, and the teachers and the community and
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: everybody was just this outpoint of love that I I've
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: never felt before or since, to be honest, and so
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: it was pretty incredible. Yes, it changed me and changed
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: our community, but also like it gave me hope again.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: You know, you lose all that hope some stranger who
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: just for no reason came into our high school. But
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: at the same time, you lose hope, and at the
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: same time you see all of these incredible people doing
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: these incredible things and gets you hope again. And that's
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: why it's so important for people to reach out um
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: in times of need, because it does make a difference
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: coming from somebody who's been in it. It does make
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: a difference. The donations, the Teddy Bears, the food, everything
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: makes huge difference. They you're You're just sitting here and
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: I'm listening to everything you're saying. And you know, obviously
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: as a kid who went to the high school, you
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: experienced this and there was huge life changing effects from it.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: The family that lost somebody had massive life changing effects,
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: as you said, like this is unfortunately not uncommon and
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: some in the world we live in. Uh. And it
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: also makes me think that, um, that we all, you know,
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: we all have a story, that we all have something
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: in our lives that marks that point in time where
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: we realize that we're out of control, like we don't
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: have control of this. We we aren't in control of
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: what happens next. And it makes me relate in a
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: lot of ways to like what's happening now, Like, Uh,
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: you know, a couple of weeks ago, people had jobs,
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: or a couple of months ago, people had jobs, people
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: were hearing rumors of a virus that was across the world. Uh,
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: things were operating as usual as normal. Um, we were
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: able to be with family. You know, Easter is coming up,
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: and as a Christian, like that's a big weekend for me.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: That's one of my favorite weekends. It's where I get
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: to see my grandmother who is in her eighties that
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: I don't get to see very often, and I get
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: to give her a hug and sit with her and
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: just share memories with her. I get to see my
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: grandpa who's in his mid nineties right now, and like
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: those Easter, in these holidays are times that I would
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: make it special to come back home and to sit
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: with him. And I say all of this not to
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: feel sorry for me. All all of us have a story.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Uh you know, all of us have a story. And
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: right now a lot of people, their story is being changed,
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: their story is being enhanced, their story is getting more complex,
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: their sadness involved. There's weird ways of like new ways
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: of looking at the world and kind of celebrating through
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: this Blake as we end this segment about your upbringing
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: and who you are as a man, leading you into
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: one of the biggest things in your life, which is
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: crazy enough going on a reality television show. For anybody
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: out there listening, once again, that's going my story feels
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: so hard to understand right now, Like this is so scary.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: My world is being rocked, My world view is changing.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: What would you say to them if you had your
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: platform and you had everybody that just feels lonely and
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: scared right now, what would you speak into their life? Well,
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: first of all, I get it, and that don't be
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: like you should be afraid, you should be scary, you know,
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: like and kind of embrace that in a way. Because
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: if you fight it, you know, the more and more
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: you fight it, UM, it's okay to if you'd be
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: afraid right now. I have more friends who have been
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: laid off than friends who have not right now. And
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: it's a terrifying time. Um. And the virus itself is scary.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: And I think, like I have some friends who I
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: recently talked to and they were like, we were you know,
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: we were like crying on FaceTime. And it's like I
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: have a friend of mine and she had this day
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: where she just cried all day and she just let
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: out this big cry, you know, and then the next
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: day she felt a lot better. I think it's okay
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: to be scared right now, um, you know, and to
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: kind of, you know, embrace that and try and I guess,
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: figure out who you want to be coming out of this.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: I think it's almost kind of an opportunity and a
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: way to um, you know, whether you were in a
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: job you were comletely happy with, um, whether you were
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: a person maybe you weren't happy with, And now this
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: is kind of a restart for a lot of people,
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: which I think can can be an interesting It's an
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: interesting time and even his history it is so crazy.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: None of us have been through this, so we're all
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: just taking it step by step together. UM, but I
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: think a lot of people need to embrace it and
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: try and figure out a way, you know, to to
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: help people and to become the person that they want
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: to become. Yeah, because as you said, like if we
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: break it all down, there's one thing that's been very
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: clear through any type of trauma, as you said with
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: the Teddy Bears and the gifts and UH calls and
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: then also with this with the support, is we're definitely
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: not alone. There's other people out there, UM that I
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: want to love us and want to be there for us.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: We just have to be willing to accept it, to
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: maybe ask or to reach out to others to do
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: the same. Hey, Blake, thanks for UH for sharing all
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: of this, UM, thank you for allowing us to kind
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: of probe into a place that I know is a
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: little uncomfortable and and probably si still hard to talk about,
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: and then has caused a lot of change in your
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: life and the community that you grew up in. UH.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: Let's take a break and get a drink of water.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Will come back, UH to start talking about you and
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: your love life. After the break. All right, Well, now, Blake,
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: we know the traumatic things that happened at your high school.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: But I want to know, like what kind of high
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: school kid you are? Like, what who did you run with? Well,
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: I mean so popular, So the quarterback, I mean yeah,
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: I was like the quarterback of the quarterback. Yeah, I
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: was like the quarterback and all that, and sophomore year
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: I was a starting quarterback. But like, my school is
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: weird though, because it was so small that there weren't
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: like because we all grew up together, so we all
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: knew each other. Like obviously in high school a little
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: different who you sit with at lunch if you will,
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: you know, I mean technically I guess I was like
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: the cool table. But there really wasn't like a bad tape,
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: you know, like we didn't have bad kids, good kids.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: It was kind of a weird thing in a small town.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: How big was your Actually, that's really nice. I had
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: five hundred per grade? Yeah, so pretty big. Then what
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: about you? I was I had four hundred per grade? Uh,
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: and it's a small town. Yeah, my high school experiences wild.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: But Blake, we gotta throw the football around some time.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: From quarterbacks. I saw your I commented the other day
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: when you were throwing the balls. Oh you were a quarterback. Yeah,
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: trying trying, my hartist to still have lived back my
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: golden years as I sleep on my fiance's and my
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: fiance's parents ask you to eat their food. I've been
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: down in Nashville, Tennessee now for about two weeks. Um.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: We literally all seven of us have quarantined inside this house.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: So it's like it's funny everything seven or seventeen seven.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: There's seven of us, but it's funny, Blake. Our fans
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: love it. I love it is Like, actually I've talked
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: about it. We've like turned into high schoolers all over again,
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: because all of a sudden, we're like freaking out our parents,
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: like we're eating their food, We're sleeping on their couch.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Like this whole thing has been wild. Every day. It's like, mom,
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: can you give me a girl cheese? I don't know
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: when I'm ever going to grow out of that. I
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: think it's when you you have kids of your own. Yeah, yeah,
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: I still don't think like, I don't think anybody's adult
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: until they have kids. I feel like, yeah, I don't
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: think so either. I completely agree like Jade and Tanner
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: are adults and Jared tonight, we're still with kids, Like
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: we're still going to sit in the backseat of the
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: car and my mom and dad are gonna drive. Okay,
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: So then where did you go to college? And did
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: you play high school and college? Did you play high
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: school college? Did you play quarterback in college? Uh? Yeah,
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: So I went to Hastings College. Uh. Small college in Nebraska.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: I want to say, people like not, it's still pretty
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: like a big high school. That's like my high school.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: It's like a big high school. But yeah, I played
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: football out there. I was recruited. So it's funny because
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: I can't believe, well some of the pictures have come out,
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: but I was accrued as a quarterback. Um played quarterback
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: for about year year and a half. Uh, and going
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: into spring training spring season of my sophomore year, we
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: got this badass Chowko quarterback and I just was not
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: good enough. So I went to the coach and I
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: was like, Coach, I'm never gonna play. Can I, you know,
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: do something else? He's like, yeah, actually, we love you. Know.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: We you're an athlete and we think we can put
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: some weight on you, Like, do you want to be
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: a tight end? So I was like sure, and I
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: was up to two forty. When I was I was
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: a big boy. Um just eight like five chicken breasts
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: for lunch, you know, like huge steaks for dinner. I
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: was loving life. It was great. But yeah, I was
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: about to forty going into my senior year of college.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: I was a big boy. I was like my neck
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: was like huge and yeah different Blake, definitely a different play.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: How are you with the ladies throughout high school and college?
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: High school at two girlfriends um all through high school.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: So college was an initiating time for me. So I
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: was shy. I was super shy growing up and in
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: high school. Um, college is kind of where I broke
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: out a little bit. But I wasn't a big man
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: on campus quote unquote anymore. So it was more of
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: a time. I think everybody in high schools like knew
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: me as like the quarterback and like that guy. But
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: then in college I got to kind of reinvent myself
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: because people didn't know me as that, and so I
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: liked it. That's what's so cool about college is that,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: like all of a sudden, there are not clicks anymore.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: You are a fresh person. As far as like your
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: rep goes, Yeah, And I wanted to break out of
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: a stereotypical athlete, like I wanted to break out of that.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to be that guy anymore because I
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: think a lot of people would only see me as that.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: So college was school for me. I I took a
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: bunch of classes that I never would have ended up
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: getting two degrees, one in marketing and one in communication,
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: and I really broke out of my like probably the
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: sophomore years when I broke out of my shell, I
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: was still like super shy freshman year, the softwareyere. I
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: broke out of my shell and like, people didn't know
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: me as the jock. I was just that fun guy
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: on campus who like knew everybody, was friends to everybody,
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: in that kind of thing. So we see that you're
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: like pretty natural with the ladies. I mean everyone loved
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: Becca season. Girls loved you coming off Becca season, like
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: doing events with you and just seeing the reaction to
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: you was incredible. And then in Paradise, we obviously saw
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: that you know, you were a girl that a lot
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: of you were a guy that a lot of girls
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: had their eye on. And well we know that there
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: was drama that ensued and you didn't. Uh, you weren't
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: exactly the girl that a lot wanted to end up with.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: Everybody was going like trying to make sure I didn't
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: end up with anybody. Like I think that was the
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: plane going into paradise, but there was an initial attraction
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: that many girls had. What is it about you? And
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: did you always have this power over women? I don't know.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: I think I just I think I don't know, like
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: I don't want to like I'm gonna like self describe
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: here and I'm gonna don't do it. Don't know. Um,
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: I think maybe I'm just Um, I think people are
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: comfortable around me. I guess I think I'm very Yeah,
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: I think I'm very like I don't know, self depgrading
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: and like I'm I don't think, like I don't take
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: myself seriously. Uh. And so I think people are just
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: comfortable around me. I guess I think that's actually pretty
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: good answer. Yeah, I think. And I'm all easy to
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: talk to. Yeah, And I think I'm always that person,
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: whether it be at like you know, like parties or
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: clubs or family reunions or what a house party is
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: that like want to make sure everybody's having a good time.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: Want to make sure everybody's comfortable and everybody's there's nobody
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: left out. I think that's kind of who I am.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: I guess. So then you do have a serious relationship
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: before the bat the Bachelorette, Yeah, I have. Um, I've
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: had so I haven't had that many girlfriends through through life. UM,
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: I think full four. I mean unless you count high
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: school be four. Um. I had one that I lived with,
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: uh data for two years, lived with her right out
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: of college, and then another one right about you know,
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: eight nine months before the Bachelorette that you know, it
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: was pretty serious and I thought was the one and
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: everything that didn't work out. So and that's when I
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: knew going into the bachelotte because I never really felt
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: like this is the one, this is it. I'm settling
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: down and getting married, and so going into the batchelde,
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: I knew I was capable of that. So it's like
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: an exciting time for me. I was like, Okay, I
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: can get there around like yes, this is it and
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: wait to get married. Kind of like oh, was gonna say,
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: you're very eager on the Bachelorette. You almost you kind
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: of you brought a lot of your past relationship into it.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: I feel like, um, I don't know, possibly, but I
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: just think I don't know. I mean, but the fear
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: that that was over, the fear that like your other
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: relationship was over, kind of rolled over into the Bachelorette
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: when you were kind of like, I know this is it,
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: but like it needs to actually happen this time unlike
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: last time. Um. Maybe I guess I never really thought
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: of it like that, but no, I think I just
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: felt it that because I think when I'm one of
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: those people who, like, when I feel it, I feel
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: it like I'm not gonna beat around the bush, I
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: love hard and like I'm ready to go kind of thing.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: And I think I'm the opposite when it comes to
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: like if I'm not really into somebody, I'm like scared
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: to maybe say it or break it off for that
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: kind of thing. But when I'm into somebody, I'm into somebody,
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: and it's yeah, I know it. You know. It's one
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: of those feelings. And I had that relationship before, and
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: I had that during the batcherette. I was like, let's
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: do this. You you come on to beckat season of
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: The Bachelorette, bringing in a lot of things that we
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: talked about not a lot of relationships, but some fairly
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: serious ones. Uh. You bring you know, coming from high
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: school being kind of uh the popular kid, the quarterback,
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: the good looking quarterback, to college where you still were
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: an athlete, very well known, very liked. Um. You then
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: have the moment where uh, you start having a full
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: time job. You had a great job, you were um
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: A what was your official title with Cores? I mean
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: basically an off premise sales Rety's your sales ref for
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: Cores coming onto the batchelorrette where you did fall for Becca? Uh?
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: And yes, out of respect for her and Garrett, Like,
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: we don't need to get into what that relationship fully
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: looked like, but what it did do and I remember
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: when I first met you is uh, it held a
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: lot of weight on your heart, like there was a
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: just a deep I don't want to speak for you.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: What was your relationship like with Becca as it ended,
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: and what were your feelings for her leading you into
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: that next season, which is where get into some of
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: the details of where maybe things went wrong right or
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: however you want to process it. Um, I's gonna think
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: back now. So I think I had a unique everybody
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: has a unique experience in the match. You know, in
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: that show, everybody kind of has different levels of the
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: relationship with the lead or whatnot. But I think mine
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: was interesting because I you know, we clicked pretty much immediately,
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: and I remember being one night, you know, so you know,
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: there was a moment we had and I remember laying
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: in Ben being like, oh, like, oh no, I'm gonna
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: fall for this girl. This is gonna be really hard
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: for me, um, because it was fast for me. We're
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: like other people, like, I know, Jason had a very
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: late connection with her, you know, Um, so like I
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: had one of the ones early connection. So it made
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: that journey very hard for me because I knew I
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: was into her and I had to watch other people
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: date her if you will, uh. And you know towards
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: the ends, um, I mean, I guess the asked two
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: weeks or incredibly difficult for me because I knew that
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: I was into her, in love with her. Um. The
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: one thing I always respect about Beca is that I
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: think she gave you know, everybody time uh, and she
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: really was able to ah in those was what I'm
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: looking for in those moments when she was with us,
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: she was with us, she wasn't thinking aboutnybody she was
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: in those moments. Uh. And yeah, it was very hard
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: at the end. I think people could see that in
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: the Maldives. It was very hard for me. But at
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: the same time, I was never angry at Becka, you know,
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: never angry at Garrett or any of that kind of thing. Uh.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: She made the decision she felt was right for her,
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: and so I'll never ever, you know, being angry at
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: her for that. So I backtrack for a minute. How
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: did you get on the show? Yeah? I was nominated
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: by my sister and my mom. Uh, and then it
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: was like in October and then it filmed in March,
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: like six months worth of going through that whole process,
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: you know how it is. So yeah, I hate them
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: and love them for nominating me for the show. So
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: I remember coming back. I remember landing in Denver, you know,
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: calling my family being like, let's me to my place
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: and let's talk. And they all came in, and I
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: remember my mom being almost like wanting to apologize because
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: I was heartbroken, and she was like, oh my god,
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: I did this to you, and she's like, I nominated you.
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: You know. It's kind of funny, Like I remember watching
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: that finale in the weeks leading up to it, and
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: being like, I know she's supposed to be with Garrett,
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: but I think I need her to be with Blake
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: because I don't know how this guy's gonna get through it.
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know if he's gonna get through I've never
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: seen somebody like this head over heels on the show
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: like truly you there was like a frenzy about you.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: I was like, this man has to leave with her.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: That was yes, and like I was, you know, I
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: was very in love and like like I said, it
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: was imagine like week three is when I was like,
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: oh my god, like this girl's awesome. I could get,
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: you know, really get, you know, really be in this.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: And it just built and built and built and built
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: and built. And by the end, you know, I had
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: been two months or whatever it was and watching other
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: people data it's just finally was like, oh my god,
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: I handle this anymore. You know, it's not an easy
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: imagine watching the girl with another man. It's not fun,
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: not a good time. So the the note to take
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: from all of this right now and getting to know you,
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: and there's a common theme here is one thing that
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: you have done well if there is a definition of
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: well from it is you. We have seen in the
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: last few years of you being a part of this
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: experience some of your highest highs in your lowest lows,
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: and we have seen it like it's for you. Uh.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: These moments in this experience have been some of the
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: most um impactful moments in your life. Like we have
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: been a part of this with you. Uh. And I've
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: I asked all these questions about you know, Becca, because Uh,
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: A lot of the audience doesn't realize how real sometimes
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: it is. But the breakup with Becca was a real
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: breakup for you. Yeah, very real break up for me. Uh.
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of I remember in the moment, there
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: was a lot of confusion for me. Um, I knew.
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: I remember, I remember reading back my diary, and I
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: remember my journal, and I remember I mentioned Garrett a lot.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: I knew that they had a really strong connection, but
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: it was still at the end there I still thought
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: it was gonna be me. Uh, and I will never forget.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: In the the next morning after the proposal, you know,
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: I was leaving on the boat. I remember it was
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: early in the morning and the sun was coming up.
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: I remember looking at that island and being like, you
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: know Garrett and I knew Garreton Becker still on the
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: island obviously, and I remember just being like, oh my god,
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: Like it was like one of those It was just
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: a weird moment where I looked at like my life
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: will never be the same, you know. It was like
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: my life. I was like, my life could have taken
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: such a different turn at that point, you know, I
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: could have been engaged on the island and the Maldives
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: and now I'm leaving heartbroken alone, you know, And so
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: it was a Yeah, it was a strange time. And
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: then having to keep all of that secret, Like I
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: don't think that people understand how hard it is, you know,
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: and you're one of the F two's. They're like, you
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: have to keep it everything quiet. You can't talk to
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: your friends. The only people you can really talk to
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: your family, you know. Um, so it was really hard
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: to get there. Yeah, how long did that like depression last? Uh? Well,
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: I mean luckily I got home and literally two weeks
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: later they show started air. So that was really nice.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: It was like let's do this kind of thing. Um,
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: watching back the season, Uh, it was strangely therapeutic, like
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: it's a weird feeling to watch yourself or yeah, it's
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: a weird thing to watch yourself fall in love. But
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: then also I watched Garrett and Becca's relationship, like I
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: was one of the one who I did watch every
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: moment because I wanted to find answers and I want
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: to figure out why it wasn't me and it was Garrett.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: Um not necessarily think there was like this one moment
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: or this one thing that happened, but seeing how strong
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: their connection was, um, in a weird way, it helped
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: because I wanted her to be happy, and then you know,
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: I want to Garrett to be happy. But I'll never
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: forget the uh yeah finale, like the after fun rose. Uh.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: It wasn't actually the my conversation with her that kind
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: of did it for me to close the book. It
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: was actually seeing how happy her and Garrett were on
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: that couch and I was like, okay. I was like
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: it's over, it's done. Time to move on with my life.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: So and and you moved on and you did uh
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: it like we're gonna take one break here, uh and
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: when we come back, if you can just spend the
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: break kind of thinking through Um, this breakup with Becca
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: led you into a season of not being on a show.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: You're kind of in an in between season. This obviously
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: was a time that a lot of stuff happened. You
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: had people flocking to you. As Ashley's mentioned, you had
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: still Uh you're recovering from a broken heart. Uh, you
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: were thrown into a whole new world that you know
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: involves celebrity and being noticed and being sought after. Uh.
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: When we come back, I want to hear uh some
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: of those emotions and those feelings which led you to
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: then stage coach. But before we do, let's take a
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: break back with Blake Hurtzman. Uh, Ashley, you have a
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: question for Blake kind of in this in between season
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: that will lead us to get to the point where
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: kind of where Blake started to mess up. Okay, so
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: you get your closure ish in July, and then you think,
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: probably you're shoeing for the Bachelor. Everyone thought you were
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: going to be the bachelor. Jason did get a little
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: bit of steam there, but it was between the two
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: of you guys for sure. And then all of a sudden,
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: out of the blue, one of your really close friends, Colton,
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: gets the title, and you're like, Okay, wait, I thought
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: I had a way to pick myself back up, and
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: I don't. So now I just am like I can't
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: imagine just having that heightened emotion and you know, all
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: that popularity and all of a sudden you're like, oh, man, um,
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: I don't I don't have it or anymore. What am
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: I gonna do? How that chapter of your life go?
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: Uh yeah? So kind of I spoke to like how
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: I was being up to you kind of have to
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: like seclude yourself. You can't really go out because people
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: are gonna ask questions. So all during the airing of
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: the show, I was kind of like isolated and not
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: really going out. And then I had a couple of
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: months where they were trying to figure out who the
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: Bachelor was. I was isolated and not going out. So
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: it's probably lit almost a year. It's almost a year
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: where my life was completely flips upside down during the filming,
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: the airing, then the in between on the Bachelor. So
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: I was like in this weird place where I was
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: like wasn't living Like I was just not living my
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: normal life. It wasn't being myself because I was kind
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: of trying to like isolate myself and Um, then I mean, yes,
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: I knew it was between me and Jason, like I
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: mean I thought it was between me and Jason. Um,
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: I thought it was gonna be Jason thousand percent. I
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: never but I never really let myself be like, oh,
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna be the Bachelor, like I thought it was
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: gonna be Jason. Um. It was definitely a surprise when
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: Colton got it. But we also had talked a lot
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: Me Jason, Colton, we were friends, and you know, we
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: had a group chat going like who'd you talk to today,
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: who'd you talk to? What was your meetings? Right? You know,
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: So it was kind of funny. We you know, I
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: don't think the producers ever had anything like that. And
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: I remember they actually group texted all three of us
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: together at one point. We're like, screw it, We're just
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: gonna tell you all its news at the same time
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah, they were like we're gonna
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: have an answer fight for you three by the end
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: of the week, that kind of thing, like they were
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: like skipping up. Yeah, they had just given up there,
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: like if we know you guys are talking, so we're
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: just gonna talk to all three of you. Um, but yeah,
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: I got the call, um, and you know, they told
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: me Colton was was Bachelor, And it was a weird
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: thing where like what now, Um, I think the show
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: has gotten better, and I know they're trying to get
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: better at not really at kind of helping the transition
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: from the show into real life. I know that's something
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: gonna work on because I think it's really hard when
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: you just kind of like sink or swim and like
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: figure it out, like your life's about to be flipped
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: upside down. People are gonna try and take advantage of you. Um.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: But I think they're doing a better job with that.
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: I will give them that. Um. But yeah, I wasn't
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: that weird moment where it's like, okay, what now. I
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: was still working. I worked for eight months after the
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: show at Cours. I was still working, but I was
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: also gone a couple of times a week, um, doing interviews,
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: doing appearances and all of that with you know, the
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: attention that comes with it. So it was a weird
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: time in my life for sure. It's all a weird world. Um,
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: but it brings us here. I mean, so blake. You
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: don't know what you're getting into, you don't know how
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: to pursue being the bachelor. If there is a pursuit
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: to being the bachelor, and we don't know yet if
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: that's good or bad, but you're getting hounded with attention
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: from all different sides. I was with you at my
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: Heart music fest, Ashley and I were and we went
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: out together one night. Uh, and it was wild the
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: attention you're getting and the energy you had. I'm the
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: same age as you, and I was exhausted by the night.
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: Eight months. Yeah, I was like, you're going out now.
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: I couldn't get over it. But what it did is,
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: and I said this earlier to set us up for
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: this question, because you're heartbroken by Becca, you're disappointed a
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: bit by not being a bachelor, or however you want
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: to explain that you're getting more attention than ever. You're
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: trying to figure out what to do with it because
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: you're still working a job Monday through Friday, and that
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: in between season between not knowing knowing you're not the
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise. You we're very single, to
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: put it lightly, um, walk us through that, Walk us
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: through what your thought process was, where you trying to
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: have fun, where you not understanding the consequences like this,
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: All of that season of life set you up for
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: what became a lot of backlash that we'll talk about
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: in a bit. But this, this is this is real.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: This is the real world to you, and you're making
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: real world decisions with real humans. Walk us through that. Yeah,
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: I mean always it was a very strange time when
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: women were throwing themselves at me. Um, And it was
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: it was a weird time where I'm not gonna sit
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: here and act like I Yeah, I was single, I
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: was single. I had fun, but like also I never
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: and I want I can't express this enough. I didn't
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: play with hearts like I was always very honest. I
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: was always very honest. Um. Yeah, it was a weird time.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: And I you know, I'm not the first person imagination
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: to do this kind of thing. Um. In fact, I
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: think most do. Um. But yeah, I mean it was
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: a weird time where I was not only single, but
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: I was heartbroken. Uh. And I definitely think that I
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: found comforts you know, and other things and you know,
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: going out and having fun. Um. And it was a
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: weird time. And it's something that obviously it's a point
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: in life where you like learn, you know, you learn
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: a lot and you grow and that I didn't go
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: on Paradise that year, So it was that weird moment
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: where I had even longer, you know, and girls coming
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: up had a year of Paradise. Yeah, but girls coming
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: off Golden Season. Yeah, it was the quote unquote because
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: Jason was wiped up. It was like the quote unquote
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: a guy. And so yeah, they they wanted to be
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: with me because for the multiple reasons. But like, yeah,
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: so it was very hard with that too, because everybody's
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: tighting my d m s and it was crazy. Did
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: you ever feel like it got to your head looking
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: back in hindsight? I mean, this experience changes who you are,
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: no matter what your night one, you're f two, whatever
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: you want to call it, paradise everything, It changes who
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: you are, of course. But like I'd be lying to
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: if five years ago I was a single man and
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: two beautiful women wanted to have no strings attached one
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: night stands at a music festival, I wouldn't have done it.
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: I'd be lying to you like in that sense, like, yeah,
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, this experience changes you absolutely. Um. But yeah,
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: I mean I'm not gonna sit here in life because
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: I think that's kind of a cop out to be like,
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: you know, I lost myself, Like I think that's a
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: cop out, you know, So I don't want to lie
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: anymore and over I'm over the fakeness of everything. So
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: we've we've kind of talked with multiple people in depth,
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: and one thing that I'm constantly learning in my life
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: because it was just a different way that I ever
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: again saw the world and not no moral ground I'm
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: standing on here. But the show has talked a lot
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: about sex recently, you know, people who are choosing to
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: stay absinent, people who are exploring their sexuality and more
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: open about you know, what sex means to them. Um,
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: We've had guests come on this U on our almost
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: famous podcast and and talk about how uh they do
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: podcast exploring uh, you know, partnership and what that looks like.
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: I'm learning what I'm saying all this is like I'm
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: learning more and more that there everybody isn't entitled to
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: their opinion. But the part that affected people the most,
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: that you hit on on was that you were accused
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: during this time in your life of leading people on,
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: of playing with hearts, of uh, manipulating situation. And you're
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: saying that you never did that. But why was that
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: the perception? Why is that the story that got put
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: out there during this kind of limbo season, because that
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: was a good story, that makes good TV, that makes
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: a good narrative, the man who everybody loves falling off
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: the top, you know. And I'm not gonna sit here
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: and act like I didn't make mistakes. I've made mistakes.
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: Everybody does. Mine just happened to be in front of America.
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: But I mean, you saw very very honest about how
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: you know that night and how it felt. And they
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: were very sure to tell me that it wasn't you know,
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: anything other than sex. Um, can you clarify the night? Stage? Okay,
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: so there's there's Calin at stage coach. Was there another
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: bachelor girl at stage coach besides I mean Christina? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: Like we both made it very it was very clear
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: what it was, um, you know. And so I think
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: that was the frustration when I was watching the show
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: back is yeah, the way it was, you know, the
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: way the story slipped a little bit, not a lot
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: of it, a lot of it, And so that was
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: really pressure. I think Blake. Part of this gets heavy
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: and weird and confusing because there was so many storylines
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: um happening uh leading up into The Bachelor in Paradise.
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: Just for anybody out there listening, and I know you've
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: done it a hundred times before. I don't think we
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: need an exact timeline, but just a summary of what
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: that whole concert felt like to you, Like was it
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: a big party and a lot of things going around
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: in circles and all of a sudden you find yourself,
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: um talking to dating, sleeping with somebody you didn't expect,
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: or was there conversation beforehand? Uh? And then we can
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: leave the stagecounts conversation kind of if if ash doesn't
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: have any follow ups. I just want to get a
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: better idea of what picture was being done here so
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: that we all understand the story a little bit better. Um.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: I mean I feel like kind of you everybody kind
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: of heard it, but I mean I don't overheard it.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: Turned it to meytime. But yeah, I mean at stage coach,
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: it's music festival, Like you know, everybody's having fun. I
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: think that was the funniest part about everything. Like this
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: wasn't like a random like I don't know, like night.
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: You know, it's like a music festival is a full weekend. Um, yeah,
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: it is. Everybody's having fun, everybody's you know, living life.
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: And yeah, for Friday night, um, four am, Yeah, text
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: messages happened. Um, Christina came over. And then the next night, yeah,
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: four am some text message of exchange and Caitlin came
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: over to refresh the audience's memory. You did have a
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: brief thing with Christina coming off of the Bachelorette, so
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: that fall and then that fizzled out, which I think
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: both of you agreed that that fizzled out. Then you
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: started talking to Kalin later on that year. I saw
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: both of them at Stage Coach. Then you believe that
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: it was clear to both of them that it is
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: just a hook up thing and that it was more
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: of like a weekend thing. And then you tried to
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: pursue Hannah g Um, thinking that you'd be dating her
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: in Paradise. He went down to Alabama to have a
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: weekend with her. No, she came out to l a
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: like six hours, wasn't I wasn't bringing about six hours yet,
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: so it was just a quick trip. Yeah. I went
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: to tell her about Stage Coach. Yeah. Oh, because you
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: guys were talking to before you were talking and I
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: just didn't want her to be blindsided down there. I
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: didn't want That's why I told Caitlin, I didn'tant anybody
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: to be blindsided down there. I wanted to make sure,
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: you know, yeah, I just didn't want anybody to be blindsided.
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: I wanted to make sure everybody, you know, kind of new.
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: And me and Hannah never and we talked about this before.
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: Me and Hannah never agreed like, hey, I'm gonna date,
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: You're gonna da an me. We both were both excited
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: about each other, don't get me wrong, but it never
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: was that the case. Ben, You have anything to add
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: before I go further on the timeline, No, I mean no, Um,
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: I don't. I think I think all this like even
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: now I sit here, Blake, and as a friend, I'm like, man,
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: I know you've had to talk about this a thousand
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: times and I know, um, this is frustrating, and I
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: know it gets defensive. I think the hardest part here
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: and it will always be the hardest part for you,
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: is it's so complex. Like I just think, like, I
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: don't know how you fit this in in that period
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: of time. I think everybody's kind of joked about that, like,
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: how do you have so much time. The second part
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: is like, it's just complex. It's a complex story with
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: a lot of different moving parts. But you know your
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: truth is this, and and you know we'd have to
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: talk to everybody else involved to get their truth, but
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: your truth is, Hey, you didn't play with any hearts.
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: There was a mutual understanding between all parties involved. Um,
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: nobody was. Nobody felt misled. And and that's why you
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: decided to go on Paradise because you felt like everybody
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: was in the clear, which you know is why you
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: went to tell Hannah G in person that this is
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: what happened. And if you choose to go under Paradise,
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: I want you to know ahead of time. I almost
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: you am leading somewhere with this to a more relevant question. So,
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: in Paradise, you asked Taitia out on a date, even
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: though I think you had mentally planned on asking Hannah J.
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: Is that correct? Yes? And you recently admitted this on
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: your Instagram story because your contract expired last month. Yeah,
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: I mean I yeah, I planned to take like I got.
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: I didn't think I was going to get the first
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: stake card. That was a complete surprise to me. Um,
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: but I remember getting it and being like, you know,
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: you go to your I T and they talked about
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: who you're gonna take, blah blaad. I was like, Hannah,
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, we got up left the room,
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: and I don't want to talk too much about this,
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: but yeah, I mean I was sat down and it
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: was my decision. I wasn't forced to do anything. Um.
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: But at the time, you know, I felt that people,
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: you know, I trusted a lot of people, but they
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: had already kind of figured out a narrative for me,
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: and if I was to maybe take Hannah, the narrative
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: might have been a little different for them. And Tasha
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: is an amazing woman, And honestly, I feel the worst
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: kind of like Tasia was brought into drama that she
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: didn't need to be in, Like I brought her into
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: drama by take her on that first date, you know
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: what I mean, Like it wasn't fair to her. Um.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I just you know, I was about an hour,
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: um I was convinced to take to take Tasha, And
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: that really is where everything started snowballing, and it was
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: just a horrible experience. Yet I think that's everybody's like
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: initial question was just like, but what how did he pick?
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: Why did he ask Tasha out that if I could
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: go back, like I I think one of the hard
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: things about coming up having a good experience on the
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: Bachelor bauch shread is that you're very naive. You know,
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: you're very naive going into Paradise, and I, you know,
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: I was, I was like, you know, these producers are
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: making good points and they have my best interest at heart,
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: and then yeah, I guess the rest is history. But yeah,
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: you also said on the same Instagram story that you
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: feel a little bit of PTSD from Bachelor in Paradise.
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: I mean I still yeah, I still yeah. I mean
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: just talking about this is getting me wound up my heart,
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: beating my palms and sweating like it's it was a
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: really rough experience, and it was I mean, it was
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: just a hard time in my life to have, you know,
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: not only when you was on the beach, um having
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: everybody you know gang up on me and bully me,
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: you know, and kick me while I was down constantly. Um,
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: but like afterwards, to a lot of people I trusted
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: did the same thing, you know, and it was just
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: I felt very a long, very very very long during
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: all that Ben, you were with him, Um, I mean
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: with him as a guider throughout that time. I know
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: that you confided a lot in him, Blake, Ben, can
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: you tell us from your perspective how you saw blake
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: soul while The Bachelor Paradise was airing? Yeah, I mean
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: I think it's hard. It's hard because at one level,
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: you know, you're a friend, and you want to give
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: your friend, like I would anybody, uh act, what you
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: hope is truthful advice. And so like some of some
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: of the stuff that my friends have said to me
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: that's been the most helpful have also been the ones
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: that the things that have hurt me the most. Uh So,
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: like if my buddy is out there, uh making decisions
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: that I don't agree with, like I we have the
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: relationship that I would tell him, hey, like you should stop, Um,
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: you should not do this. And the the hard part
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: for me or I mean, you know, and Blake is
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: a friend of mine, a legitimate friend of mine, and
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: we also share this experience. A hard part for me
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: is you're speaking to somebody that one that is this
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: has already happened. So that's one issue because you can't
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: really take it back. So you're trying to more console.
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: The second is it is being done in the public
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: eye and being judged by the public um Blake. I
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: think if I look back on that though, there isn't
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: you know, I have to have because of the podcast
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: like and other things, like, I share the opinion that
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: I don't think it was great decisions. I don't think
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: Stage Coach was probably anything good for you. I don't
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: think the things that happened at Stage Coach helped you
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: as a man or just helped your life. But they happened,
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: and so you move on and we figure out how
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: to process it. I think if I remember right going
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: back to you and after this, I want to kind
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: of get into how it affected your head. But was
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: the reaction from everybody else, the people especially on the show.
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: Remember you came back and you said, hey, this is
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: a good like some stuff happened, like this is hard
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: on me, but I had the support of my peers
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: there who like helped me along the way. When you
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: watched it back, that wasn't the case, and that wasn't
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: the so of course, like you know, the public scrutiny
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: and like the comments, but that hurts, don't get me wrong,
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: that hurts, um, but you know, when you're in the
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: public eye, you kind of learned to let those roll
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: off as much as possible, will offer back. But it
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: was watching these people who were so nice, like at
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: times at the beginning it was rough, they were nice
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: to my face, and then watching the things they were
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: saying in interviews and the things they were saying um
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: to each other in group chats or whatever, you know,
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: UM down on that beach, it was not only was
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: a shocking but it hurts so so bad. And a
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: lot of them have apologized. A lot of them have apologized, UM,
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: you know, and I try not I know, we know.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: I mean, actually you've been there. That environment is very hard,
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: and that environment caused you to say things you don't
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: necessarily mean um, And so I try to I try
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: to keep that in mind, like I know how bad
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: that environment can be, and I know that you're almost
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: you're asked to bully and it's and I try and
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: keep that high. When I when I talked to some
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: of these people when they have apologized, and I was
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: angry for a long time. I was frustrated, but like
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: I couldn't keep that in my heart, Like and I'm
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: still working through it. I'm still going through to therapy,
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: I'm still working through a lot of my frustrations. Um.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: But like eventually I was just like, I gotta forgive
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: these people because I can't live with this hate in
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: my heart anymore, you know. And so still stuff are
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: working through. But are there still are there people that's
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: still don't forgive you for for what? I don't forgive
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: me for stage coach, or give you for the text messages.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: They still haven't gotten over your moves in Paradise. No, No,
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: I think well maybe Dean and Caitlin. Um, maybe that's
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: the only two Blake. Um. I know it's hard to
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: it's hard to communicate I think, the waight and of
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: of this, But like it wasn't during this time in
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: your life and even today, I mean it has been
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: that long ago where like there were a lot of
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: tears shed. Um. There were tears shed not only in
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: your social media that obviously became um kind of viral,
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: there was also a tear shed in private with your
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: friends and your family. Um, this took a toll on you.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: You know, all of this we start It's interestingly if
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: you kind of see the the story of this podcast.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: You know, we start with uh some trauma. Uh. We
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: kind of go into like some more funny things like
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: how cool you were in high school and college. Uh,
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: your your great job, and kind of that you were
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: the life of the party, always wanting everybody have a
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: good time and getting attention from ladies, and being on
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: this show that rocked your world but also broke your
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: heart like that. Your your story here has always been complex,
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: and now we get to a place where it almost
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: just feels heavy, and it's felt like it's it's been
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: heavy for a while now. Um, I want to take
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: a break here, uh, and I would love to come
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: back and talk to you a little bit about not
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: only were your heads at today, the lessons you've learned
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: about mental health and how you kind of have worked
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: through that for anybody out there listening, and also yourself. Uh.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: And then finally, I know that you're pursuing a new
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: career uh that uh, I think would be really nice
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: to share about here. On the Almost Famous in Death
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: podcast with Blake Courtsman, We've been talking to Blake Courtsman
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: about a lot. I mean, we've started in high school
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: that's led us up through his first job, high school, college, um,
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: and then onto the Bachelorette, which led him to a
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: little bit of disappointment not being the bachelor, then to
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: Bachelor in Paradise. Uh. A year after being on the Bachelorette.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: We all know Blake's story and Bachelor in Paradise. We
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: don't need to go into details of who the women
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: were and kind of all the storylines that played out there.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: We've we've heard it a hundred times. If you haven't,
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you can google it, um and and everybody
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: has been either hurt by it. Uh. Some feel like
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: they've been hurt from the experience, others have been hurt
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: by kind of the second hand opinions and criticism. H Blake,
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: what has hurt you the most? And I say this
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: not to like, hey, I know you've experienced pain in this. No,
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: it's like, hey, your pain has been very public, like
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: your struggles with mental health have been h have been
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: talked about often by yourself and others. What from this
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: whole experience has hurt you the most? Uh? God, God,
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: there's so much I think I and I've always been
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: um a bit of you know, I think I just
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: was very naive coming into this world. And I think
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: the hardest part was seeing people I considered friends, um,
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: you know, just throwing me under the bus for retweets,
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: for likes, for pods, for you know, whatever they needed
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: to keep you know, relevant or whatnot. Uh. And that
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: was hard for me because I just think I even
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: though I was told, you know, to expect that by
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: a thousand people, I just still didn't think, um, that
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: that was something that was going to happen. And one
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: of the hardest parts to it all was how many
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: people were on my side privately, how many people told
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: me they would have done exactly what I did and
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: that I did nothing wrong, and then in public doing no. Well,
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: not necessarily some of them did the complete opposite, but
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: a lot just we're kind of quiet on the whole thing.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: And it's a weird part. It's like, it's weird because
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: I don't expect in this world now, especially now I
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: know it a little bit better. It's hard to expect
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: people to stick their neck out for you, you know,
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: because they're risking their rip, they're risking their career, um,
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: and I know that now, and so looking back, like
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: it's hard to be like, why didn't you say anything?
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: Because they were worried about their image. Um. But that
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: was the hardest part was watching friends who I know,
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: people I considered friends saying privately they're on my side
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: and publicly not. That was very hard for me. Well, well,
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: this is our moment to kind of stick our necks out.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: And you know, that's why we have this podcast, and
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: we want to hear the truth, right, because the truth
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: gets hard to to sometimes see when all this is
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: going on. You know, we're watching on TV, we're still
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: seeing glimpses on social media, we're hearing the opinions, uh
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: from your peers, and I think when you do that,
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: you go, oh my, this must be true. But for you,
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: you're saying, hey, like this is a lot harder to
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: understand than what anybody saw. Um, and you were just
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: wanting people to be there. Now that causes some mental
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: health issues, right. I mean you came on your on
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: your Instagram. I remember during that season you just like
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: in tears, crying to the public, like really crying out loud,
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: like for help. And I mean I think I remember
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: advising you, um too. I don't think. I think we
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: talked it through and I was like, I don't know
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: what you do here, like I don't know if this
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: is smart to share, Like I know what kind of
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: feels like you're outing the other people involved, but you're
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: like you're just saying, like I just need to get
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: my story out there because I need to feel like
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: less alone, right, yeah, I mean not only my Yeah,
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: and I just I won't I'll just I get hearts
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: like some people. Um, the whole text interesting, but like
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: it's it's frustrating me because imagine the whole world was
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: against me, like people had already decided like I was guilty,
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: Like there was nothing like I was guilty. And unfortunately
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: the show and I don't blame the show necessarily for
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: not showing my side because I couldn't. Like when I
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: was down there, I didn't you know, it wasn't like
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: they edited my side out like I didn't because I
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: didn't know some of the things that were being said,
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: you know. Um, But so I just felt like I
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: had no choice, and I was like, listen, like I'll
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 1: never understand how somebody can be angrier at the evidence,
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: you know, of the lies and the lies themselves. That's
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: just not something that I don't know if I'll ever
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: be able to really comprehend. Um, but I at the
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 1: same time, it's like I get like private mesters of
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: private mesters, but it's like same time, millions of people
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: watched the show, you know, So I don't know. It
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: was hard. It was a very difficult decision. And it's
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: it's not when I took lightly and it hurt. It
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: hurt really bad at the time. UM, But it was
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: something I felt like I had to do. What steps
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: did you take after the show was aired to better
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 1: your mental health after the show was Yeah, it was aired, uh,
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: enduring while it was airing. Um, you know, I took UM.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: First of all, I got off social media. UM, Like,
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: I didn't post, I posted, I didn't I posted the
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: text messages, and then I didn't post again into the finale.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: I just felt like I needed to remove myself from
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: from that. UM. So I got off of that to therapy.
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: Took a lot of therapy, leaned on friends, leaned on family, UM,
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: and I still was really low. Um. It's hard when
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: you know you feel alone like that, and even I
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: know my family cares and my friends and everybody loves me,
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 1: but you're almost in You're in a weird state. Um.
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: You know when you're first of all, let me you start.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: I was always one of those people who thought that anxiety,
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: panic attacks, suppression was always something and you could just
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: quote unquote rubb dirt on and I always thought that
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: it was kind of a made up thing for people
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: who uh needed, you know, attention, quote unquote you will
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: Now I know that that is not the case, that
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: those are very very real. I remember I was depressed,
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: and I remember the every every day I was in
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: bed for probably about three months. I remember everyday I'd
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: be like, tomorrow, I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna walk,
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna take a job, Tomorrow is gonna do it.
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: And then I wake up and I couldn't do it.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: I physically couldn't do it. I remember my mom coming
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: in and trying to drag me out of bed, and
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: I physically couldn't do it. And I was just in
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: a really bad spot. And I know what my your health,
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: you know, starts decline, you start eating, crapping, and stall
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: just a snowball um. And I was in a really
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 1: bad spot and it took a long time to get
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: out of that um. And still so, like I said,
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: it's still something I'm working on. But I'm definitely a
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: you know, way better spot than I was four or
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 1: five months ago. But it's not something that you can
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 1: cure overnighte in just tick time for sure. Uh. To
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: close off this segment, um, and and thank you for
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: sharing this stuff. I think it cannot feel great, but
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 1: I hope that speaking about it over and over again,
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 1: at some point, um, you know you you will be
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 1: able to move forward, which you know I'd like to
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 1: know have you moved forward? Are you dating again? Um?
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 1: And to close up all this, like what did this
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: teach you? You know? Remember a headline back in the
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 1: day and I only say this like you Sorry, this
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: is gonna be harsh, but you've probably seen. It's like
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: how the mighty have fallen? Like you know, you were
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 1: at the top, that people loved you. People, we're celebrating you,
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: and I still think people love you. Like I'm not
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: saying they don't like you're not You're not hated. Um,
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: but you did fall hard, like you fell and were
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 1: humbled in in grand ways. What has all this taught you? Um?
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: This is your story man, Like this is the crazy
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: part about in depth, Like we just gone through most
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: of your story since you're in high school, and there's
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 1: details involved that we've skipped over, and there's things that
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: we didn't talk about in pains that we we never
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 1: could approach here. But like your story in a and
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 1: in a microcosm is now here talked about today. Where
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: are you at? Yeah, Um, like I said, it's still
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: in therapy, you know, And I still have my moments,
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 1: but I am you know, I have some trust issues now.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 1: But at the same time, like I you just gotta
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 1: get to a point where you're like, Okay, I need
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: to get back out there. And you know, I am dating,
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: and I am at least open to meeting someone again
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: where I wasn't there for a long time. I think
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 1: I had a lot of walls up, uh, and I
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: am open to that. And you know, one of the
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: obvious things I've learned through all of this, you know,
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: it's kind of who my who my real friends are,
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 1: and who I can lean on. But then more importantly,
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: like I think a lot of people, especially my generation,
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: our generation and you know the generation um before you
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 1: know below us, Um, we kind of finds confidence and
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: find our self love through the eyes of others. And
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 1: I think I was definitely guilty of that. I think
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: I was someone who unless you know, I had a
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 1: junch people loving me like, I wasn't happy with myself.
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 1: I didn't know who I was. And I think this
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 1: has taught me more to look instead of seeing people
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: seeing myself throw the people's eyes. Um, I'm be going
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 1: to just look in the mirror and you know, and
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: find myself that way. Um. And I think that's huge
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: and I hope more people are able to do that,
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: especially now with social media and everything. You know, it
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 1: doesn't matter the amount of likes you have, you know,
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: or any of that kind of stuff now. So that's
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: something I'm grateful for for sure. Thanks. Thanks a lot, Blake.
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah all right, well let's talk about what's making you
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: happy these days, and that is your new career. You're
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: doing a lot of dejaing. How did you get into that? Yeah?
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: So kind of so I obviously, I mean, everybody loves
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: me and I've always enjoyed. Like I said, I was
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 1: always that guy who wanted to like make people happy
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: at parties. Not I've always been I was in college,
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: I was like the DJ at the house, you know.
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: I was always a guy picking the music and things
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: like that. But Katelyn Bristow and I want to give
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 1: shout out to Caitlin and Jason. They were incredible through everything. UM.
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: They were always you know, called me multiple times, invited
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: me out to see them kind of things. UM. But
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 1: they Caitlin, you know, she stuck her neck out for
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 1: me and she was like, you know what, I want
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 1: you to come on my UM live podcast tour. And
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 1: she was like, I love you to be the DJ.
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 1: And I kind of like laughed and I was like, okay,
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: Like that's a fun way of like I'm not breaking contract,
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 1: I'm not doing the podcast, I'm not doing interviews anything
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 1: like that. I can just come and I feel the
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 1: love again quote unquote, and know that I'm not some
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 1: kind of villain that everybody hates. UM. And so I'm
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 1: thankful for her for that. UM. But then when I
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: started kind of DJing and actually buying equipment, and I
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 1: was like, well, I kind of like this. I really
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: enjoyed this. This is a lot of fun. I love
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: making people dance and seeing, you know, make people happy.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: And I got a call from a buddy of mine, UM,
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: two buddies, my buddy Eric and DJ Silver, and he
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: was more like, you know, I'm creating a label. Um,
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: we'd love to you know, kind of have you on
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 1: it and teach you. And it's called Blackout Artists. And
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: it was one of those things where I was like,
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 1: you know what, I'm at this point in my life
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: where I can do something because I can do something
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 1: I'm passionate about and try and make a living out
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 1: of it and took classes, did the whole thing. I
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: didn't want to be a press play DJ. I was like,
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this. If I'm gonna do this and
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 1: do it right, and I'll fall in love with it.
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 1: And I've made some um incredible strides in the DJing
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: and I've done some pretty big gigs, uh and it's
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: so much fun and I love making music and I
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 1: love remixing a bunch of songs and it's just such
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 1: a blast. One of these days, you guys got to
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: come to one of my shows, for sure. I would
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: love to. Oh we will. Yeah. I was gonna say,
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 1: is there anywhere that people can find your tour dates?
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: But I guess they're not exactly. I've had a cancel
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 1: about six dates right now, so that's that's been really hard. Yeah,
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 1: as soon as I get some some dates on the
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 1: books when this all is over hopefully here soon, I'll
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 1: definitely everybody know because it's a it's a good time,
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 1: it's so much fun. Well. Uh, like you've been to
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 1: bachelorif on stage you have came out with that, you've
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 1: came on our podcast. UM, I I your your story
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: is one uh that real life was affected in ways
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: that I think for anybody out there listening can understand.
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: I mean your life good or bad, or people agree
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 1: or not, like they can see that your real life
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: was affected deeply by this experience. UM. But you've came
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: out of it, as you mentioned, you have your dj
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: uh pursuits. Uh that will come back in full force
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: once we're able to join together again. UM. From Ashley
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 1: and myself, thank you for coming on the podcast. Thank you,
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 1: UM for sharing with us. Now we end every UM
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 1: in Depth podcast UM with our guests having thirty two
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: seconds to a minute to just speak into our listeners
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 1: like you know, just these are your fans, These are
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 1: people that are gonna love hearing from you. Uh. They've
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 1: heard a lot from you today. But what would you
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 1: like to close with? UM, it's your moment, take it
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 1: say whatever you'd like. Okay. Actually, so I had a
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 1: bit of a break This is because I wanted to
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 1: get this out there somehow. So I had a bit
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: of a breakthrough the other day in therapy, Um, some
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 1: pretty cool you kind of we're talking and I had
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: like one of those weird epiphanies. But my therapist she
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: asked me, she's amazing. She asked me, you know what
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: is um, what's your favorite show? And I'm a big
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: Friends guy, so I'm a big Friends fan, right, so
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 1: she said, what do uh, what do you say when
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 1: somebody's like, hey, Friends sucks, you know? Or what do
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: you know? Seinfeld's better or something like that. And I say,
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: you know what, I don't feel the need to defend
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: that because I just know they're wrong, Like I just
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: know they're not. That's not the case. Friends is amazing.
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 1: And you know, she made me realize. She was like,
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: why are you so passionate that people are wrong when
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: they talk about friends, but when they talk about the
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 1: person you are, you're not as confident in who you are.
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 1: And I had a bit of an epiphany where I
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 1: wait a minute, I was like, why am I are
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 1: passionate about friends being a good sitcom. Then I am
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 1: who I am as a person, and you know, I
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 1: think that's something you just got to realize, like people
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 1: don't know who you are, and I need to be
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 1: just as passionate about myself as I am about friends,
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: you know. And so it's just one of those things where,
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: like I said, you just gotta look in yourself, you know,
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 1: and who you are rather then getting gratitude from other people.
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 1: So yeah, hopefully that helped someone out there during this quarantine.
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 1: Thanks Blake, that's great. That's so great. We like to
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: end on a fun note with a couple of rapid
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 1: fire questions. Are you already? I'm ready? All right? What
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 1: is the song or artist that gets people most hype
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: when you're djaying? Link two? Oh? Interesting, but I knew
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 1: it would be early two thousand. Play a lot of
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 1: rock in my set? Okay, awesome? What are you postmating
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 1: during quarantine? Actually had pizza, big eight inch pizza to
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 1: myself by myself, the whole thing. That's amazing. What toppings
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: all the way. We know that you don't slide into
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 1: anyone's d m s anymore, but from this past season,
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: would you if you could? And you like you would
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: allow yourself to do that, which you won't. Oh no,
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 1: I honestly, so I did watch this season a little bit,
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: and I watched now a little bit differently because I
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 1: know how things can get taken out, you know how
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: to context everything. I just, honestly, I don't know who
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: I would say out of this season. I know that's
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 1: the answer you're looking for, and I'm terrified at the MS.
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 1: So I figured you would be all right, who is
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 1: your man crush from the franchise, the guy that you
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 1: would trade faces with? Faces? Faces, we'll do. We'll do
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 1: one for life in one for face trade lives with
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 1: Ben Higgins. The man is newly engaged. Cream you can love.
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 1: He's just on top of the world right now, that's right?
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 1: I am. I feel pretty good. I've got a great girl,
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 1: got a great podcast, got some good guests. Life's good.
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 1: What yeah? Faces, that's I've never thought about faces. Um.
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 1: I kind of want trying to think of somebody with
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 1: a good beard, because my beard is horrible. I want
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 1: Jason's beard. Maybe Jason's got a good beard and he's
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: got good hair. Won't change Jason's head. Yeah, alright, cool,
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 1: that's a good choice, good choice. Jason's up there for
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 1: Jared to um, we've played this game where I know
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 1: his man crushes at the franchise and then, um, who
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 1: would you trade swag with? Like? Who do who swagged
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 1: you on? Oh? God, you know Mike Johnson's got a
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 1: lot of swag. Okay, Yeah, that's a good answer to
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 1: Mikey Mike got swag? Okay, Slee. What is the drink
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: of choice? Well djaying, Well, so I try not to
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 1: drink too much filet DJ, but afterwards a lot of tea.
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 1: Keep a guy alright. Awesome, Thank you so much, Blake.
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 1: You really opened your heart up and we really appreciate it. Yeah, no,
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 1: thanks for having appreciate it. We feel like every almost
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 1: famous in depth pretty much ends with us liking the
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 1: person even more. I hope that's the case. We always say,
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 1: I mean, Ashton, I have said it like, once you
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 1: hear somebody's story, it's hard to hate him. It just
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 1: it is. And And now, like I said, I watch
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 1: a show a little differently because I know everybody's got
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 1: a story. Like you said, so well, we uh follow
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 1: along with our lead. And you've been on this before.
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 1: I think you know what we're about to do here,
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 1: but thank you for co hosting this podcast. Thank you
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 1: everybody out there listening. Ashley and I just have really enjoyed,
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 1: uh speaking with some Abaschel Nation's favorites. Uh. It is
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 1: our pleasure to speak with them. We're gonna thank them
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 1: for coming on our podcast. I know it's a very
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 1: vulnerable moment when you say yes to sitting down with
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 1: somebody for an hour and a half to two hours
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 1: and just sharing your life story. Ashley and I don't
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 1: take that lightly. Uh, we appreciate it. Thank you for
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 1: sharing your heart with us and the listeners. This isn't
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 1: it though. Ashley and I will be back many times over,
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 1: probably before this quarantine is completed. Uh, speaking with you
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 1: and to you about everything Bachelor, our lives and some
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 1: of our friends lives. With that, I've been been, I've
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 1: been blake Later, guys, thank you. Follow the Benn and
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 1: Ashley I Almost Famous podcast on iHeart Radio or subscribe
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcasts.