Latest / Son of a Boy Dad / Poppers and Cheesesteak Drugs feat. Ian Fidance - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 96

Transcript

Poppers and Cheesesteak Drugs feat. Ian Fidance - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 96 · Son of a Boy Dad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners. You can find
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Nay, what's going on there?
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: Pal?
• 0:13
  Speaker 4: We saw you the hockey game market, so I know
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• 0:48
  Speaker 2: What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Boy Dad podcast today. It is January tenth.
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: We just talked about what data was.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: Distracted by the sound. You're in the barstool studio, Big Time,
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: big Time studio, Big time podcasting.
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: And it's the playoffs.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: We haven't record an episode in like a month?
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: Is that true?
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah? I forget what we're doing. Damn, what does this
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: show about?
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: I own apology to Smitty one of the last times
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: we recorded.
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: I didn't give him the.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: True, uh the truth he deserved. Yeah, and he deserves
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: he deserves credit. I didn't like how that clip came
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: off of me talking shit on Smitty. Smitty's the goat.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Smitty's hilarious.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: He is very funny.
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: Smitty is the fucking He's the man, a sneaky goat.
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: He's sneaky goat, and.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: I think he's he Actually he's my going into twenty
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: twenty three, He's my sneaky goat of all the barstool offices.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: You have any sneaky goats myself? You were saying Carl too, Carl? Yeah,
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: me and Carl two.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Goats, sneaky, sneaky goats, sneaky goats. I uh, we got
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Ian Fi dance coming in, Yes, sir, you ever met
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: you Finance?
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: No, I don't think I have.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: He's a very energetic person. I see him everywhere though, Yeah,
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: very lively person.
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: I'll match his energy.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Oh you won't.
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: You don't think I can.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: I think it's hard to match that energy.
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: It's too much.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: He's very energetic. Yeah, yeah, nice guy though, he's bringing
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: us donuts.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: What the fuck? Yeah, that's awesome.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: I'm glad.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: I think how many of you are there? And I
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: said one, All the donuts are for me, four for me,
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: none for you.
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: You do not need anything? Yeah, I know.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: I've actually I've quit drinking again, so that's good.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Hell, yes, can we get the compilation going?
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: And I am back in the gym the compilation. Yeah.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: Now I'm not drinking until Friday.
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: Holy fuck, dude, how are you gonna do it?
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm just not drinking on the weekdays anymore. Again.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: No, I can already see it in your face, how
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: you're changing. You look like more bright and like bushy eyed.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: I know. And I've been going to bed earlier, waking
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: up earlier. Yeah, you have that glow back to washed
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: my sheets. I could tell that you're more focused, you
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: have the clean sheet focused. I do you feel focused?
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: More focused than ever?
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you made a video.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: I know. I was in grind mode.
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: What the fuck was that all about?
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I really wanted to make a video
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: and I like my engagement up. But uh, dude, I
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: hate posting it. Posting on Instagram scares me for some reason.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: So I just got so many fucking heaters on there.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: So you're can't you feel like you can't match it? No,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: you really have no competition except for the old you, I.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: Know, and the old man was really funny.
• 3:24
  Speaker 5: I know.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: I don't know what happened at all, because usually when
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: people get more depressed, they get funnier, Like usually that's
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: how it works.
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you're getting more depressed, and.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: No, I'm not getting more depressed. If anything, I'm growing
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: as a person and just breaking through the barriers of
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: mental health every day.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: We're very close to just pivoting to inspirational content.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: That's where I've been at. I was on r slash
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: motivation the other night.
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: Like I'm going to just start that, so lamb w
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: what did you see on there?
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: It was like there was like three million people in
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: the reddit and then I like it came up on
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: my thing and I clicked on it, and uh, every
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: post is just exactly what you would think it would be.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Like Hyena's drinking by like the bed of the Nile
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: River or something like that.
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, with the post over lions.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: Or sleep for twenty hours a day, but what they
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: do in those four hours that they're awake, It's.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Like, no, dude, you have severe depression and that's what's
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: causing you.
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: To sleep that much.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Graffhics with lions and text in front of them are
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: not going to fix you.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're not the lion king, bro, You're going to cane. Yeah,
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: it's a whole different vibe. That's hilarious, though, What had
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: you going in there? Oh, let's just see what kind
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: of came up on my raving. I was just in
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: the Uh yeah, I wish my Reddit knew me a
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: little bit.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: But it was on popular the popular page.
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: Was it good ass motivation?
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: No, it was terrible.
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: But three million people are still in there.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and they're all like Rider Die motivation fans.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: I'm on a fucking I'm becoming a person.
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: I hate.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: I got a fucking water bottle that I car.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I know I saw that. I noticed that
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: when I was walking back to my desk. I was like,
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: what the fuck is that?
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: I know, I don't know why. It has had me
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: way more hydrated, but.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: I hated about Well, we have like a thousand of these,
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: I know, but it's go plastic bro.
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: Like I use it on the weekends. I use this
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: all the time.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: So just bring a couple of those home for the weekend.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: I still crack them and pour them out into the sink,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: just so I can continue to not.
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: Recycle as much to destroy the world.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Create that trash island, plastic island that's like floating in
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: the South Pacific or whatever. I guarantee that plastic island
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: is going to turn into the densest like future fuel
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: for generations a thousands from gonna be like, we found
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: this island that's rich with micro We're now going to
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: use to fuel our flying cars and robot soldiers.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that will happen.
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: That's what the fucking future is going to be.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Where is the trash island?
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: I think it's south like off off Australia. Maybe I
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: don't know.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: Is that what Isle of Dogs is about? Maybe Wess Anderson,
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: you know Wes Anderson.
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: Sanderson the cool hats, He's got.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: Cool hats, the Isle of I think they're on a
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: trash island, but it's all the dogs are on it.
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: Damn that couldn't be me.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: That's the government like bands, dogs or some ship.
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: That ship sounds too cute for me.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: It's a good ass movie.
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: All his ship is so cute, though, Dude.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: There's a scene where they're making sushi and it's so satisfying.
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: Just that sounds.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, damn.
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: I felt like I was transported.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: To the movie like you were in Wes Anderson movie.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: It felt like pure Sanderson. That was fucking sweet. I
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: know you're like a folly artist.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: I know that's a hard ass thing to do. I
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: just take a fully class in college for my six
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: months there.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: It's really hard, dude, What what what kind of ship
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: did you learn in the class?
• 6:44
  Speaker 6: I don't remember.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: We just like do one where we just like tell
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: a story with just sound, and I remember it was
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: supposed to be like how you start your day and
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: I and I and I recorded myself pissing, and everyone
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: else did, but mine was clearly the only one that
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: was actually me pissing. Everyone else was like pouring water
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: into the toilet and went long enough. I went on
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: for like forty five seconds. Yeah, I know, they're literally
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: it was like it was so like humiliate. We had
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: to watch it in like a in like an auditorium,
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: of people.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I feel like your.
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: Teacher would love that.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: I feel like your teacher would be super impressed by.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: Those classes are so easy.
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: Just you like jerking off.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, people, someone did like a hardcore sex scene and
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: its actually like really impressive. They nailed it.
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: You think they actually fucked.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: No, then that is impressive, because I don't think actually
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: fucking would get the noise that you want it to.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: It would be like.
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: It's like a singing in the shower.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you need like they like they killed it.
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: Get a towel, Get a towel.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, my wife's coming home. Quick.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: Get out the window. You gotta get out of sim
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: out this window.
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: It's the third floor.
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: I don't care. Here's some sheets, tie them together.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: You gotta get out of here. Bro, my wife's coming home.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Hello.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: That was thing that always sucks about this. I was
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: playing video games, Jesus. That was the worst thing about those,
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: like film classes. It's like no one ever tried to
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: like do funny stuff. Everyone tried to, like they all
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: wanted to be the next like Quentin Tarantino.
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: And even Quentin Tarantino does funny shit, but like.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Doing like a funny thing like just sound only would
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: be so much easier than trying to like a dramatic
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: like waking up routine totally, which is why the sex
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: one was good.
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: Everybody wants to do dramatic shit.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: Film even film class is like the most pretentious. It's
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: like shit ever, just people just like think they know
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: what a good movie is and then they like make
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: their movie. It's just them like arguing outside of their apartment.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Or some slow mos of them like lighting cigarettes and
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: black and white. Dude, film students are the worst people
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: on earth. I know I'm gonna win an oscar one day.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: They all want people that actually said that, and like
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: the film sets are just like completely filled with people
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: that think that. It's how Washington, DC is filled with
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: people who think they'll become president. Film sets are just
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: filled with people who like someday think that they're working
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: their way up to be with Sanderson.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, the the uh, the funniest shit was when
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: we did like we had to like do films. We
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: had to make like short films and you'd get like
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: assigned a random group and you had to like have
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: everyone pick their role so they'd be like the director, cinematographer, uh,
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: the sound guy actors whatever, and the person that was
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: the director always they don't know what they're doing, but
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: they just think that the best thing for them to
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: do is just to make you redo the same scene
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: like eight thousand times, we're gonna want one, Well, we're
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: gonna want one for.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: Safety or just to like be like bitching as the
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: assistant directors next to them be like just let me.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's like why why do we need one
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: for safety? Like do you think we you really do?
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: Like what do you like We've already done it eight
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: hundred times?
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, or like yeah, and then I just used the
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: first one or it's indicative of like the actors sucking,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: but like yeah, we'll just get another one.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: It's like, well, why don't you direct them to make
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: them do a little bit better?
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: It sucks?
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Did you do any student films when you were
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: in college?
• 10:17
  Speaker 7: Yeah?
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: But I got I like wrote a whole script. I
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: was I was one in charge of writing the script.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: I wrote an entire script, and then they like scrapped
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: the whole thing and rewrite. Yeah, and they like held
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: a meeting without me and rewrote it. And then they
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: had they had me doing the uh the sound boom
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: mic boom So I got my my role for the
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: whole thing was the boom guy?
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: You got demoted?
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, way hard, that's embarrassing.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, look at me now, bro. Where they're at probably
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: olden boom mics, probably holding boom mics or what if
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: they're probably like pas On fucking dexter Blackish, grownish. Yeah
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: yeah they're pas On like house reboot failures. Just what
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: they are, not me though, Yeah, they were far from
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: a failure.
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: They're nothing like them.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: What was it?
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: What was your plot about? Do you remember what your
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: plot was?
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: It was so it was like, uh, I can probably
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: find it, I just can't show it because it's like
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: these kids in it. But our plot was like it
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: was about someone with like insomnia, like going crazy, and uh,
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: it like was the best one in the class by
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: a lot.
• 11:29
  Speaker 4: And then when you wrote I.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: Didn't write it. I got the one I came up
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: with the idea for, and then I wrote the whole
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: script and.
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: They scratched it, but they kept the same idea for
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: so I.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: Don't even know if I came up with the idea,
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: and uh, like I think they came up with the
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: idea and I wrote the script and then they scratched
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: the entire script and rewrote it. But uh, I probably
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: wrote it at like nine am, like ten minutes before
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: the meeting and just.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Trying to power it out here. They're still insulted. Yeah,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: they probably took it dead serious.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: Oh they did.
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: They had a coup against you.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. I was ever a good student. Surprising.
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: I mean, I don't think you like.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: I got to a point in college where I was
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: just like, I know that I'm not going to use
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: some of this shit for my life.
• 12:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: No, I knew I wasn't gonna win an oscar, and
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: you still micro especially for my like sound boom technique.
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: One of the most deva moments of my life was
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: when I was asked to hold like a sound like
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: a boom yeah, and I said I was no, I
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: was just like, I held it for the entire time.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Got super frustrated. I was like, we got like our
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: most talented.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: Guys like, yeah, that's embarrassing, super embarrassing, super embarrassing.
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, huh, he's better come in. Oh cool, fuck you.
• 12:41
  Speaker 8: I'm not going back to college to be your friend.
• 12:43
  Speaker 8: I'm going so I can get uber one for students.
• 12:46
  Speaker 8: It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats. I'm there
• 12:48
  Speaker 8: for zero dollar delivery fe on cheeseburgers, up to ten
• 12:51
  Speaker 8: percent off smoothies, and six percent Uber credits back on rides.
• 12:55
  Speaker 8: Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whenever
• 12:58
  Speaker 8: you think college is.
• 12:59
  Speaker 9: For get Uber one for students a membership to save
• 13:03
  Speaker 9: on Uber and Uber eats with.
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: Deals this good.
• 13:05
  Speaker 9: Everyone wants to be a student joined for just four
• 13:07
  Speaker 9: ninety nine a month savings me very eligibility and member
• 13:10
  Speaker 9: terms apply.
• 13:11
  Speaker 6: So dude, I cut out sugar. I feel good, but
• 13:15
  Speaker 6: I do like fruit or I'll do like no added
• 13:18
  Speaker 6: sugar because it oh.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah yeah, because it fine.
• 13:20
  Speaker 5: Yo.
• 13:21
  Speaker 6: I was doing like half a pint of ice cream
• 13:23
  Speaker 6: and five popsicle holes on the road. I don't drink,
• 13:27
  Speaker 6: so I'm in my hotel and I dump bags of
• 13:29
  Speaker 6: candy on my bed.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: That's what we had soda on And he was saying
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: the exact same thing.
• 13:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's pathetic, dude. I wake up in a blackout.
• 13:36
  Speaker 6: I had cranberry stuck to my body.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: But I think a lot of people feel like they
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: want to cut that shit out, but they just don't
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: do it.
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: You like you're actually doing it.
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: Well.
• 13:47
  Speaker 6: Yeah, but I also so my best friend Jordan, we
• 13:51
  Speaker 6: have a podcast together and we keep each other accountable,
• 13:54
  Speaker 6: so we'll text each other and be like I want
• 13:56
  Speaker 6: sugar and be like, all right, don't do it, and
• 13:59
  Speaker 6: like that's how I got sober. It was like talking
• 14:01
  Speaker 6: to other people and be like I want to drink.
• 14:02
  Speaker 6: I'm gonna do it, and I've tried to do it
• 14:04
  Speaker 6: with like jerking off. But that's way.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Different about off. Yeah, yeah, what do you call off?
• 14:09
  Speaker 6: Your friend Chris?
• 14:10
  Speaker 5: You Chris, I got jerk off.
• 14:11
  Speaker 6: I'm thinking of you, man, digs in my hand.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: What about you?
• 14:18
  Speaker 7: Don't do it?
• 14:18
  Speaker 5: Dude, do not not out of that day?
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: You're trying to cut it completely jerking off or just cut.
• 14:25
  Speaker 5: Back, cut back?
• 14:26
  Speaker 6: Yeah, because I found I jerk off as like a distraction.
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so like I have to do something, I'm like,
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: i'll do it. Let me just jerk off.
• 14:34
  Speaker 6: And then now when I come I have to take
• 14:36
  Speaker 6: a nap, Like I can't take wigs, so like.
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: Half my day is shot. So it's like at least
• 14:41
  Speaker 5: hold off until before I go to bed.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like actually like the only time I jerk
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: off right before is no, it is a distraction. Yes,
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: I'll be like, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna jerk
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: off first. Yes, yeah.
• 14:50
  Speaker 5: It will make like a little form of self sabotage.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Or you'll be in the middle. I'll be in the
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: middle of writing. Yeah, and I was just dick in
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: my hand. I can get hard and see what I
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: can do with it.
• 15:02
  Speaker 5: And I lie to myself. I'm like, you'll think clear
• 15:05
  Speaker 5: if you do.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: That's gotta be a lie. You're not clear. But you're
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: just not horny anymore. It's not any clearer. Didn't let
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: you focus up or anything like that.
• 15:14
  Speaker 6: And then it's gotten to the point now where I'll
• 15:17
  Speaker 6: lay there and I'll come on my belly and be like,
• 15:19
  Speaker 6: all right.
• 15:20
  Speaker 5: Just close your eyes and clean it up after a minute.
• 15:22
  Speaker 6: And then I'll wake up and it's just drizzled everywhere,
• 15:24
  Speaker 6: and I'll wake up like you.
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: Donutipping it off, candle.
• 15:29
  Speaker 5: It is, yes, truly.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: Truly, So you fall asleep every time after most of
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: the time, that's crazy.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: We had a coworker that just mercilessly roasted anybody that
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: like nutted on themselves. He's like, you guys, nut on
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: yourself and I was like, I'd never even thought about it.
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: But since then, I'm hyper aware of it.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: I'm like nutting on myself and I'll like set up
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: a tpee of like fucking of like towels around my dicky.
• 15:55
  Speaker 5: And towels sometimes. But I used to be like that.
• 15:58
  Speaker 5: I used to be like, dude, that's gross.
• 16:00
  Speaker 6: But then it's like, well, exactly, get up and waddle
• 16:05
  Speaker 6: to the bathroom.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: Now I actually thought it was like I've never once
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: thought that was weird. Like never in my life have
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: I been like this is weird to do that, partner,
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: What am I going to do with it?
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: It's not good enough for you.
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: You'll not someone else, it's not good enough for you.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: I feel like that would be like a process to
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: have to jerk off like I don't know.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: And have like a chew box of ship bag falls
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: right into like always appart. It also takes you out
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: of the intimacy of the moment a little bit, like
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: if you're like, oh, yeah, figure out.
• 16:32
  Speaker 6: It's like happy to go get a condom. Right by
• 16:34
  Speaker 6: the time I get it, I'm not impulse is.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: Going, yeah, maybe it's a good way to you know
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: what I mean, stop jerking off, just be like, well,
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: I'll jerk off, but I'm going to be clean about it.
• 16:41
  Speaker 6: Yeah, well fuck that.
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: I need the shame of cleaning your.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: I don't never.
• 16:49
  Speaker 5: An hour.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: Until right now. Dude, I was talking to a guy
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: in our office, Rudy. I don't even know if you
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: know him, but he knows you. He was like, oh, dude,
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: I was at the Pride pri with him and we
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: did poppers together.
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah you remember him?
• 17:03
  Speaker 6: Yeah, no, but I remember I was giving everyone poppers.
• 17:08
  Speaker 6: I wasn't doing that, but dude, I gave fidal Bird
• 17:10
  Speaker 6: poppers another world.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: I bet he got real red, super red. Yeah, he's
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: got a natural red to him, and I could see
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: really dark red and.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it does get you red, but I didn't. It
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: doesn't get you like uh fucked up high or like out.
• 17:33
  Speaker 6: No, it's like it like cuts So it's amial nitrates
• 17:37
  Speaker 6: and it like cuts off your like blood vessels or whatever,
• 17:41
  Speaker 6: so that you get super light headed.
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: It makes you hot in your face, right yeah, and
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: you get like you.
• 17:44
  Speaker 6: Fork and it loosens up your buttholes, so people do
• 17:48
  Speaker 6: so it's easier to bang.
• 17:50
  Speaker 5: But then you do poppers and you're.
• 17:52
  Speaker 6: Just like oh, like you just want everyone to like
• 17:56
  Speaker 6: make out with you and like be crazy.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: Oh really, I feel like it would make me. They
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: don't only for like thirty seconds, right, yeah, so.
• 18:02
  Speaker 5: You got to keep doing more.
• 18:03
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it's like computer duster, like fox your head up.
• 18:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah yeah yeah, it only last like twenty seconds.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: But so can you like finish a whole bottle of it?
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: Nasally? Like can you like suck down a.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: Bottle of it?
• 18:15
  Speaker 6: You never want to have a thought, there's a whole
• 18:20
  Speaker 6: hole through your entire brain.
• 18:21
  Speaker 5: Just want to become a cum dump for the tunnel brain.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: They sell that ship everywhere. Yeah, dude, you can just
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: buy like a bodega in my deli.
• 18:30
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 18:31
  Speaker 6: And these guys like yeah, chop.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: Poppers, fashion poppers.
• 18:38
  Speaker 6: They had like big body and I was like, someone's
• 18:40
  Speaker 6: gonna order poppers in front of you.
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, ordering paupers with breakfast at like nine a m.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, I'll just get them for later.
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: It's like the softest drug. It's like not like a hard,
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: hard ass drug to me, or any time I've.
• 18:57
  Speaker 5: Done it, you've done it.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, It's just I feel like you're just kind of
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: are doing it. You're like sitting around drinking, just hitting,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: ripping some poppers. I don't know, I've never got fucked
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: in the ass off it. Maybe I need to get
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: fucked in the ass.
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: Off it to really enjoy myself.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: It's a New Years is to open up.
• 19:14
  Speaker 6: Yeah, you know, fucking the ass, you know.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: Just try it out a little bit.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: But if you were, if you're constipated and you take that,
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: would it all just spill out?
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: WHOA?
• 19:25
  Speaker 6: I don't know, because I know what opens up like
• 19:27
  Speaker 6: you're legitimate like sphincter, but.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, probably testings. Yeah, I don't know.
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: Interesting makes you think you really got to get to
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: the bottom.
• 19:35
  Speaker 6: Yeah, you gotta get to the bottom of it in
• 19:37
  Speaker 6: a bottle, dude, I did. I did poppers one time
• 19:43
  Speaker 6: and it fucked me up for like the next twenty
• 19:45
  Speaker 6: four Like I just couldn't think.
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: I'm like, like, makes you lag?
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not fun now all it does, it's ton
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: of them.
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: You're truly fucking your brain up.
• 19:54
  Speaker 6: For a little bit.
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're destroying your brain cells.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what happens to your brain? Like, do you know
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: what's actually going on in there? Like what I think?
• 20:00
  Speaker 5: It cuts off oxygen to your brain. Really, I used
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: to do computer duster and that ship fucks you up
• 20:06
  Speaker 5: really bad.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: When I was in seventh grade, I was on the
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: football team, and like in the changing room before football practice,
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: like everybody on the team would do some ship where
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: they would like press their necks up against the wall.
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: And dudes would fucking fully pass out.
• 20:20
  Speaker 5: And who knew that would be the only way we
• 20:22
  Speaker 5: could comb.
• 20:23
  Speaker 10: Now exactly, But like like people were like like having
• 20:33
  Speaker 10: crazy hallucinogate hallucinations, hallucinations haations.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: They were going fucking nuts, like being like I was
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: just like in the Sonic the Hedgehog course or something
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: like that, and it sounded fucking awesome, but I was
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: scared as fuck, dude.
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: So yeah, so I snitched to my mom.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: I was like, they're they're they're like choking each other
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: out in the fucking locker room. And they like had
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: like a team meeting about it, saying like you got
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: to stop like fucking choke. I don't think they knew
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: it was made the same my first time, because it
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: was such a puss in.
• 21:05
  Speaker 7: The corner harder and practice.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: They're beating the fuck out of me because like twisting
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: my knee in the pile trying to beat the fuck
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: out of me. But I don't even know how these
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: kids figured out that like that that was something you
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: could do or that uh it was cutting off oxygen
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: to your brain.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: Like Popper's probably older brother, older brother.
• 21:24
  Speaker 6: Yeah, Like the kid that introduced me to that had
• 21:26
  Speaker 6: an older brother that like taught him and he came over.
• 21:29
  Speaker 6: I was like, dude, we got a choke oursel. He
• 21:31
  Speaker 6: gets you like really high, and we were trying to
• 21:33
  Speaker 6: find ways of getting high like in that like smoking
• 21:36
  Speaker 6: mint leaves.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, cat dude one time, Oh oh.
• 21:39
  Speaker 5: My god, yeah, just fucking anything.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: Were smoking a lot of cat in loosely?
• 21:45
  Speaker 6: Did you really no way?
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: Like we did it like once someone like just brought
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: in smoking moss one time to Holy Ship.
• 21:55
  Speaker 6: I got tricked into smoking catnet really yeah, by my
• 21:57
  Speaker 6: two best friends because I went to the Hawa Market
• 22:00
  Speaker 6: in Philadelphia with my grandparents and I bought.
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: Mint leaves and then I went to them and was like.
• 22:06
  Speaker 6: Guys, guys, I got weed.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, can we have some?
• 22:10
  Speaker 7: It's like it's five dollars.
• 22:11
  Speaker 6: So I sold my two lifelong friends fake weed when
• 22:16
  Speaker 6: I was fourteen, and to get me back, they had
• 22:19
  Speaker 6: a party, brought me over and were like, hey, do
• 22:23
  Speaker 6: you want to smoke this hash? I was like yeah,
• 22:25
  Speaker 6: Like well, let's go in the backyard. I'm like all right,
• 22:27
  Speaker 6: so I'm smoking it, and I'm like you want something.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: Like noa, noa.
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: We had a bunch of.
• 22:33
  Speaker 7: We're full, ye, yeah, we're off full.
• 22:35
  Speaker 5: So I go inside and everyone starts me owling.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: Like what did we do?
• 22:42
  Speaker 7: Catnap?
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: That's what you get?
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Damn it.
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: You did it, like do anything to you.
• 22:51
  Speaker 6: It made me feel like a fool.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: But there's no no, we were just I think you
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: were just trying to smoke anything right to like for
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: the for the visuals. Yeah, smoke in your lung.
• 23:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we did that.
• 23:03
  Speaker 6: We'd like rolled up mint leaves with loose leaf and
• 23:06
  Speaker 6: scotch taped.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: Hy burns so fast.
• 23:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah, dude, we almost burned our face off.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: We used to just we used to just smoke paper. Yeah,
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: we just roll like print paper up and just like
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: smoke it. Like no, we wouldn't like inhale it, but
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: we'd like put it in your mouth and liked you.
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: Remember when kids were like eating tide pods? Yeah, and
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: we're like the next generation is bl blind.
• 23:26
  Speaker 6: I'm like No, they're just like the next generation of
• 23:29
  Speaker 6: trying to get high.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Which is just humans, like human beings, like we were
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: just eating berries and leaves, like trying everything to get hot,
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: like we just have always been trying.
• 23:37
  Speaker 5: To get up.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: Tie pods, gasolines, yeah yeah, like glue, Like in Ethiopia,
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: they fucking roll up like just like blunts of fucking glue.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: Dude, they're just like tweak on the streets off of
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: like pure like a strip of glue in the blunt,
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: and they.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: Just can't be good for the for the lungs.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: But they're poor as fuck. It's like that's the only
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: thing they have. They have that in gasoline, like houff
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: and gasoline. It's like what you're doing on the street
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: in Ethiopia, if you're trying to get fucked up. Wow,
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: people will get fucked up.
• 24:04
  Speaker 5: In their tribes. Are like, man, it's a crazy new
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: way to get hot.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: You put my cock in, try it. It is actually
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: fucking awesome. Go back and tell everybody they have to.
• 24:20
  Speaker 11: Golf season is in full swing and getting out there
• 24:22
  Speaker 11: to work on your game is bound to make any
• 24:24
  Speaker 11: day even better. And if you're looking to improve your drive.
• 24:28
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• 24:32
  Speaker 11: Bold athletics styling, a commanding presence, award winning tech, an
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  Speaker 11: will put a smile on your face no matter how
• 24:43
  Speaker 11: your scorecard shakes out.
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: So you're are you? You're a Delaware guy?
• 24:47
  Speaker 6: Did you I'm from Delaware?
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: Did you spend time living in Philly at all?
• 24:50
  Speaker 6: I came up in Philly, So I started comedy in Philly,
• 24:54
  Speaker 6: and I've been going to Philly since I was in
• 24:57
  Speaker 6: My mom used to take me to South Street to
• 24:58
  Speaker 6: like punk show in like vintage shops when I was
• 25:01
  Speaker 6: in like seventh grade. She just used to drop me
• 25:03
  Speaker 6: off on the street. Ye all, I see you later
• 25:07
  Speaker 6: shows show, Yeah, yeah.
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: What the fuck? Why was she trying to do that?
• 25:11
  Speaker 6: She just wanted to I liked that music, and she
• 25:14
  Speaker 6: wanted to support me and the things I like. So
• 25:17
  Speaker 6: she would drop me off at like the t LA
• 25:19
  Speaker 6: and then she'd go around and then pick me up afterwards,
• 25:22
  Speaker 6: and I would like come out and she'd be on
• 25:25
  Speaker 6: the street with like dudes with like bones in their
• 25:29
  Speaker 6: nose and tattoos on their face.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: God damn, your mom's the ship.
• 25:36
  Speaker 5: Like gutter. She's like, and this is my friend Muscle.
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: Sastreet was gnarly then too.
• 25:46
  Speaker 6: One time she dropped me and my friends off at
• 25:48
  Speaker 6: a show and we're inside smoking cigarettes, were like fourteen,
• 25:52
  Speaker 6: and I'll never forget. She stormed her way in, found
• 25:56
  Speaker 6: us smoking and dragged us both out by our ears,
• 25:59
  Speaker 6: and the band stopped and was like, yeah, everyone was
• 26:03
  Speaker 6: cheering my mom on it, and I'm like, no, this is.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: It's a hard core show, dude, you should be on
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: my side.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: Mom would just wait outside the whole time.
• 26:13
  Speaker 6: Yeah, she was just like hang out, make friends there.
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: It's called Jim Steaks.
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: Where they sell drugs.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: No, they sell They've gotten busted like four times, Steaks
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: Fourth and selling drugs like as a cheese steak order,
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: like there's a milk. It's happened like four different times.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: Get I swear to God, broke it up. We got
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: no way.
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: What do you got.
• 26:35
  Speaker 5: Really again, Jim Steaks.
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: Jim Steaks keeps on selling Fourth and South.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: They won't stop selling drugs out of there, and it's
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: like tons of different types of drugs, like you going
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: and putting an obscure cheese steak order and then they
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: give you drugs? What the that's what your mom was?
• 26:51
  Speaker 6: Win every time everyone's a tough way on.
• 26:57
  Speaker 7: Heard what you say about Jims legit.
• 27:00
  Speaker 6: I was about to say, we would go and get
• 27:02
  Speaker 6: cheese steaks and we'd walk in and they'd be like, Gail,
• 27:05
  Speaker 6: what's up?
• 27:08
  Speaker 7: What if my mom's.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: Would be terrible? Bro?
• 27:13
  Speaker 7: That's on your little punks.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: I don't find something to do but get drugs there.
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: No, I never I only saw about it in the news.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: What do you do? You just walk in? You're like,
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna get a cheese steak with like.
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: Radner, Oh no, no, from Pennsylvania.
• 27:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, because I was like, how do you fucking know?
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: Because and I saw? And then I lived on like
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: third in Market, and uh I would have like a
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: weekly show on South Street at like Dobbs or some
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: ship like that. Okay, fucking go down there and just
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: dick around. But South Street I think was probably a
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: little bit shittier than UH. Or I don't know, it's
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: it's been getting shittier. It's been getting dumb.
• 27:51
  Speaker 6: When I start comedy at the laugh House second in
• 27:54
  Speaker 6: South Oh fucking yeah, So that was like wild coming
• 27:57
  Speaker 6: up in that.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: What did you why there? You were just living in
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: Philly and You're like, no, I was.
• 28:02
  Speaker 6: I was living in Delaware and I would drive up
• 28:04
  Speaker 6: to Philly every night for open mics and stuff. It
• 28:07
  Speaker 6: was like forty five minute drive from Delaware and I
• 28:10
  Speaker 6: that was like the club that would work me. Helium,
• 28:13
  Speaker 6: wouldn't they you do their open mic and then they
• 28:17
  Speaker 6: wouldn't allow you to do it again for like six
• 28:19
  Speaker 6: to nine months. Geez, and this other club would put
• 28:22
  Speaker 6: you up every Thursday for their open mic. So I
• 28:24
  Speaker 6: just started hanging there, and that's where all my guys
• 28:27
  Speaker 6: I'm like still friends with now, like Foley, keV Ryan
• 28:30
  Speaker 6: and Tom Cassidy.
• 28:31
  Speaker 5: That's where they all started.
• 28:33
  Speaker 6: And uh yeah.
• 28:34
  Speaker 5: That was like the place to go.
• 28:36
  Speaker 6: And I got work there because I was white like
• 28:38
  Speaker 6: they it was a black club and they needed like
• 28:40
  Speaker 6: a white comic and they put me up and I
• 28:44
  Speaker 6: ate my fucking dick.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: Really it suck.
• 28:47
  Speaker 6: Oh it made me so much better, but it was
• 28:49
  Speaker 6: like I was fucking terrible dude. The first time I
• 28:52
  Speaker 6: ever am seed there for a weekend, I am Seed.
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: My best friend Chris Cotton, God rest his soul past.
• 28:58
  Speaker 6: A couple of years ago, he was featuring and the
• 29:00
  Speaker 6: headliner was a wheelchair comic from Brooklyn named Damian Rose
• 29:05
  Speaker 6: and uh he is now going as well, rest his soul.
• 29:08
  Speaker 6: But we had to lift him on stage and off
• 29:11
  Speaker 6: stage every time.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: In his opening song was I roll.
• 29:14
  Speaker 6: Out and dude, I'll never forget. I just got dumb
• 29:18
  Speaker 6: bombing Cotton yelled at me.
• 29:21
  Speaker 7: He was like, you're not good. You need to be bad.
• 29:26
  Speaker 6: The DJ that like ragged me to the club took
• 29:28
  Speaker 6: me to ah wah wah and yelled at me and
• 29:30
  Speaker 6: was like, I don't know who you were up there,
• 29:31
  Speaker 6: but that's not you.
• 29:32
  Speaker 7: Because I like went up there. I was like, hey, y'all.
• 29:39
  Speaker 7: He's like, you're not black. I'm like, all right, sorry.
• 29:43
  Speaker 5: And then we're lifting this guy at stage.
• 29:45
  Speaker 6: He looks at me, he goes you drop me and
• 29:46
  Speaker 6: I'll motherfucking kill you.
• 29:50
  Speaker 5: Dude. Oh he was fucking terrible. A friend of mine
• 29:53
  Speaker 5: from Delaware came up fucking white as a.
• 29:55
  Speaker 6: Bear, dur in snow, and a guy on stage didn't
• 29:58
  Speaker 6: have teeth and he's like, bitch, you know what a front.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Were the only white man.
• 30:05
  Speaker 6: Oh my god, I'm living in a halfway House in
• 30:08
  Speaker 6: Delaware at the time. In order to get to Philly,
• 30:10
  Speaker 6: I got a blown a breathalyzer. It is insane. No
• 30:15
  Speaker 6: try blowing a breathalyzer. All black comics and a black one.
• 30:19
  Speaker 6: I'm not going to believe it's it's not attached to people.
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: Shut the fuck up. That's kind of what kind of
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: a wheelchair was it? Was it a like an electric
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: wheelchair or just like a regular tailor.
• 30:32
  Speaker 5: He had the gloves and his closer was he would
• 30:36
  Speaker 5: bring a girl on stage and he would make her
• 30:38
  Speaker 5: sit in the wheelchair and he'd give her a lap dance.
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: His legs work at all? Or was he like Legliszard?
• 30:46
  Speaker 6: He might have been able to walk.
• 30:49
  Speaker 5: Like his thing.
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: There are people who are frauding in that area.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: There was a dude who was always at Fourth and
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: Market with and he'd be outside with a saxophone and
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: he could not play the saxophone.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: If you'd assume people they like hook up like a
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: like their phone to like a sticker, and they like
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: pretend to play at the guitar while just guitar is playing. Yeah,
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: it's like a big I think it's big. Like I
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: saw that, I went, I went to Europe and they
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: say it was everywhere. Everyone was doing it, like you
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: could like see the phone like tucked in their sleeves
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: blaring like the best song the other.
• 31:19
  Speaker 5: Night, I swear to god, I saw I. I almost intervened,
• 31:23
  Speaker 5: but but I didn't.
• 31:25
  Speaker 6: But there was a like homeless guy, black guy dreads
• 31:29
  Speaker 6: playing guitar and these two drunk like white n y
• 31:32
  Speaker 6: U kids. The guy was like, come on, come on,
• 31:34
  Speaker 6: just look at the screen. Just look at the screen,
• 31:37
  Speaker 6: and the girl is showing him under the bridge by
• 31:41
  Speaker 6: the red hot che just just.
• 31:43
  Speaker 7: Play along in the screen like he just like wants
• 31:50
  Speaker 7: to play the blues.
• 31:51
  Speaker 5: What do you do?
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: That's so fun?
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: Did he try to play it?
• 31:54
  Speaker 7: He tried and then was like I can't.
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: I can't. The guy's try harder, man, it's your favorite song?
• 32:00
  Speaker 4: Do you know any K pop?
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 32:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, Taylor Swift.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: That's fucking crazy to go up to like a homeless
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: student and be like asking for requests, especially like red
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: Hot Chili Peppers.
• 32:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah, can you play under the bridge? You know where
• 32:13
  Speaker 5: you're going to?
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: The song about Heroin? You're on Heroin right, this song's
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: about Heroin. Relate to this, it'll make it a more
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: real experience for me.
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: Dude, I did an open mic in at Eastville Comedy
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: Club and there was a dude that had a he
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: had like the electric wheelchair, one of the big boys,
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: and it was like ten dudes had to carry him
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: up and then he killed. But I was like, that
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: would suck to go up there and just bomb and
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: then everyone's got to carry you off right after.
• 32:40
  Speaker 6: Dude, there's a comic in Austin. His name is Michael Lair.
• 32:44
  Speaker 6: He's so fucking funny. He was on kil Tony a
• 32:47
  Speaker 6: million times. Yeah yeah, yeah, he's dying, yeah yeah os.
• 32:51
  Speaker 5: But dude, he years ago, he was in Buffalo and
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: he opened for me, and before he messaged me and
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: was like, hey, I'm sorry for the show. I'm just
• 33:02
  Speaker 5: a retard in a wheelchair and blah. And I'm like,
• 33:06
  Speaker 5: is he joke? Like what the fuck? Like I thought
• 33:08
  Speaker 5: he was fucking with you.
• 33:09
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, because there were no pictures of him or
• 33:10
  Speaker 6: anything in his profile, and he's like he's like, yeah,
• 33:13
  Speaker 6: I'm gonna give these motherfuckers a business.
• 33:15
  Speaker 5: And I'm like, all right, man, And then I met him.
• 33:18
  Speaker 6: He was the coolest fucking dude ever, so funny, legitimately
• 33:21
  Speaker 6: in a wheelchair the most like like just his jokes
• 33:25
  Speaker 6: are so fucking good. I mean, he's deteriorated, he truly
• 33:28
  Speaker 6: is dying, but he is so fucking funny and everyone
• 33:31
  Speaker 6: would have to carry him up put him down.
• 33:33
  Speaker 5: But the way he was talking to me, I was like,
• 33:35
  Speaker 5: is he doing a bit?
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: Like is he supposed to be funny?
• 33:38
  Speaker 5: And then I was like, oh my god, he's in
• 33:39
  Speaker 5: a wheelchair. Oh my god, this is gonna be terrible.
• 33:41
  Speaker 5: And he was the funniest motherfucker.
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so fucking.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: Fun disable Comics who can like play into their h
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: whatever they have going on, just makes it so much.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: It's like a burden off of the audience, you know
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: what I mean. Like and it's like.
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: Almost a cheat code.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: Like if it's not like, uh, you're gonna make that
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: your entire act, but like if you can like kind
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: of readirect that, it's it's a it's a massive like
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: you know, way to succeed.
• 34:05
  Speaker 6: Well, Like, dude, years have you guys ever heard of
• 34:07
  Speaker 6: twitchells Now he was on he was on MTV's True
• 34:14
  Speaker 6: Life I Have Turetts and that's a show. Yeah, like
• 34:18
  Speaker 6: years ago, do you remember MTV True Life, like, I'm
• 34:20
  Speaker 6: a I do I.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: Know you're talking kind of. I didn't know they had
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: a whole Turetts.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like it's just like a one off episode
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: True Life, like I'm I'm trying to be a rapper.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: The whole show. Yeah, the whole show. So it's like
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: multiple people of the thing.
• 34:34
  Speaker 5: He a Turette.
• 34:35
  Speaker 6: He's the stand up comic I opened for him when
• 34:37
  Speaker 6: I just started starting out, like in Philly or no.
• 34:40
  Speaker 6: I opened for him in like Vinely, New Jersey. So
• 34:43
  Speaker 6: I had to go to his house to pick him up.
• 34:45
  Speaker 6: And before he gets in the car, he goes, if
• 34:47
  Speaker 6: I start twitching or anything, I'm listening, it's just one
• 34:51
  Speaker 6: of my tweaks, okay.
• 34:52
  Speaker 5: And I'm like okay. So we're like talking in the
• 34:55
  Speaker 5: car and I'm like, yeah, you.
• 34:56
  Speaker 6: Know I live in and he's like.
• 34:59
  Speaker 5: And I'm like, A you all right?
• 35:00
  Speaker 7: He goes, I told you.
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: Keep talking like okay, all right, man, So we.
• 35:04
  Speaker 6: Do the show, dude, he smashes, I'm talking like dude.
• 35:08
  Speaker 6: He and and afterwards he goes, you know, I'm really
• 35:12
  Speaker 6: good at talking about Tourett's but really nothing else.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: I was like damn.
• 35:17
  Speaker 5: It was great.
• 35:18
  Speaker 6: But afterwards he sells a ton of headshots and he
• 35:22
  Speaker 6: goes to like he's like, buy a headshot, I'll sign it.
• 35:25
  Speaker 6: It goes to like a Tourette's Foundation or whatever, and
• 35:29
  Speaker 6: everyone's like.
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, mamma. We go to wah Wah and he's.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: Like, I like how all the stories are just like
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: we go to Wawa in my life where.
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: It always ends up.
• 35:37
  Speaker 6: So dude, we go to this wah wah and he's like, yeah,
• 35:40
  Speaker 6: I get whatever you want. I'm like all right, and
• 35:41
  Speaker 6: so I put it on the count and he goes, I
• 35:43
  Speaker 6: got it. I go really he goes, no, no, No,
• 35:45
  Speaker 6: the Touret's Foundation, all that.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: Money I've the whole time. That's fucking Did the how
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: did the terrests manifest itself when he was on stage?
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: Did it like go away?
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: Like you know how like in the King speech he
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: like can like kind of humm through like his stutter
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: or whatever.
• 36:04
  Speaker 6: He I mean, he he lived with his whole life.
• 36:07
  Speaker 6: He knew how to like deal with it, and it
• 36:09
  Speaker 6: was like super funny. And I'm like, man if he
• 36:11
  Speaker 6: like like he cut the meat off of that bone
• 36:14
  Speaker 6: so good on like he mastered the Tourett's Mater. If
• 36:17
  Speaker 6: he could take something else and do it with that, like,
• 36:19
  Speaker 6: holy fuck, that'd be awesome.
• 36:21
  Speaker 5: But he just like only talked about Tourettes.
• 36:24
  Speaker 6: Interesting, but everyone loved everyone, like ate it up and
• 36:27
  Speaker 6: I'm up there just like, dude, was it some Like
• 36:30
  Speaker 6: it was at a bar that I had gotten kicked
• 36:32
  Speaker 6: out of years before when I was drinking, and I
• 36:36
  Speaker 6: like went there and.
• 36:37
  Speaker 5: I'm just like eating.
• 36:38
  Speaker 6: Ship and everything, and like at one point I was.
• 36:42
  Speaker 5: Like, maybe you'd like me more if I had to.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: I mean, they was awesome.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: They definitely would.
• 36:49
  Speaker 4: You just don't say it, you know.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: I mean they definitely had loved me.
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: That's hilarious. You got was just no reaction. I mean, yeah, yeah,
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: that's so funny.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: How much time did you spend that the Delaware Beach
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: is growing up?
• 37:08
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, Dewey Rehobeth.
• 37:10
  Speaker 6: Lewis Rehobeth, Olive Avenue, Patrician Towers. Every year first week
• 37:16
  Speaker 6: of August, my mom side of the family, we'd go down.
• 37:20
  Speaker 6: We'd stay for a week. It was the best. And
• 37:23
  Speaker 6: I think I'm I just turned thirty eight, and I
• 37:26
  Speaker 6: think there's only one or two years in my life
• 37:29
  Speaker 6: that I haven't been in the Atlantic Ocean.
• 37:33
  Speaker 4: Oh damn, So I go.
• 37:35
  Speaker 6: I try to get in the ocean.
• 37:36
  Speaker 4: You get a swim in.
• 37:37
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I gotta get a swim.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: In the ocean. Scares the fuck out of me. Really,
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: I'm from Massachusetts. I grew up on the beach. But
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: it scares the fuck out of it.
• 37:44
  Speaker 5: Why.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: I don't know, cause like, yeah, my mom's from Cape
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: Cod and we used to go to Cape Cod like
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: every summer for like to visit my grandparents. Yeah, and
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: like out of nowhere, I want to say that, in
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: the last like ten years, like the Great Whites have
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: like taken over those beaches and they're like there's like
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: they're spottings every single day now, like during the summer.
• 38:04
  Speaker 5: But no one's getting bit.
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: Oh people are getting bit like like every once in
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: a while something uninformed.
• 38:09
  Speaker 5: I am on everything like.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: Thirty times last year.
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: I'm like, no one's getting bitten. No, I mean, compared
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: to how many people are swimming in the beach, it's
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: probably like one out of every like ten thousand people
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: get killed. Oh you're not not even getting bit dude,
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: You're d happened when I was in high school, someone
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: on Cape cod there's like a ton of people in
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: the water. And so when you surfer, you graduate like
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: four years ago, five years ago exactly.
• 38:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that long years.
• 38:36
  Speaker 5: Let's go back now.
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: I was like four years We gotta go back to
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: the ocean.
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: You can't be scared of then.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: I saw a video today if someone swimming off of
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: some beach and a tiger shark was like three feet
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: away from her and she had no idea.
• 38:47
  Speaker 4: But it didn't do anything.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: They closed the whole beach. Oh it was going to
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: do something.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of tiger's mouse are or
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: a lot of sharks mouse aren't even big enough to
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: do any damage. You go to the aquarium, the tigers
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: have little or the sharks have little ass fucking mouse.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: Bro. You know, you know, shark is no deadly world's
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: deadly as shark. They're tiny, They're way smaller than great whites.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: And they because they can swim in like two feet
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: of water.
• 39:07
  Speaker 5: Oh really, yeah, what do you think of that, dick?
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you think of that?
• 39:10
  Speaker 6: Bro?
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: Damn it, dude, I was not prepared for that ship
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: at all.
• 39:14
  Speaker 5: Come your fear and going, I'll still.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: I still swim in the ocean, but the entire time,
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: Like when one of my buddies will like swim out
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: a little farther, I'm like, he's got to get.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: I'm not telling you to swim in like Australia, Like
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's where people are dying and like
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: the Australian ocean, Like off, could.
• 39:28
  Speaker 5: You go to Jones Beach?
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: I don't know where is that.
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: In New York?
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 39:32
  Speaker 5: In New York Janhattan?
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, all right, I go, Like I still go
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: to the beach all the time, but you.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: Just make sure like a small child's farther out than you,
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: something more edible is like closer to the sharks than
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: you are at all the time.
• 39:45
  Speaker 6: People, before you go in the water, you're like, is
• 39:47
  Speaker 6: any woman on their period?
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: Just let me know, bring a tinfoil bathing suit.
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: I'd be more. I'm more worried about like under like
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: undertow and getting like sucked in the ocean by a
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: big ass wave. Dude, you ever get bundled by a wave?
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: What is that called the undertoe or the current riptid?
• 40:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: That used to be Like my dad used to always
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: be like really like cautious about that, and I think
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: it was is it that big of a thing that happens.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I got bundled by waves before, and I've like
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: panic because I like lose my bearings, And why is.
• 40:20
  Speaker 6: It where You're like, okay, so if we're here and
• 40:24
  Speaker 6: we go in the ocean here and then like five minutes.
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: Later you and you won't even realize And I turned
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: around like a mile away and I can't see without
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: my glasses.
• 40:34
  Speaker 6: I'm just like, my bathing suit's written up, I'm coming tattoos,
• 40:38
  Speaker 6: and I'm like where.
• 40:41
  Speaker 5: My hair is wet? My hairlinees even worse. So I'm
• 40:44
  Speaker 5: just like looking like a creep tax account.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: You just wind up in Maryland?
• 40:49
  Speaker 6: How the fuck am I mar Like, I don't realize
• 40:51
  Speaker 6: someone as a child, I'm like, where's my town?
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: Whatever you want, sir, just take it, just leave alone. Yeah,
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: I don't know what that is. That just fucking rips you.
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: It's scary, dude. I'm not trying to get sucked out
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: to the current. At the same time, I'm not trying
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: to be scared of it. But I think that's just
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: because my wife is just terrified of that ship.
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: She's just like all was scared.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: So it makes it so easy to be brave if
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: I'm just like less scared than her, just like a
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: little bit less scared.
• 41:18
  Speaker 4: One of the current or everything in life. Dude, of
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: like fucking.
• 41:21
  Speaker 5: Always want to marry someone who's living in fear.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: I couldn't worry that, dude, I'm not fucking scared. This
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: movie is a scary old dude, get yourself in a
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: gor cockroapider. I'm not scared of that ship. Dude.
• 41:40
  Speaker 4: Makes me feel brave as fun.
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: Dude, I actually have like nightmares about sharks all the time. Really, yeah,
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: it's like a real fear.
• 41:46
  Speaker 4: Why are you thinking about them.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: That in plane crashes. I've had dreams where I pore
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: I'm in a plane crash and then we land in
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: shark infested waters, like many times. That one that hasn't
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: happened in a couple of years, but that was a
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: bad one for a while.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: WHOA, yeah, really yeah, let me put your mind at ease, dude, you're.
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: Not You're not like you know what feel when you're
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: like falling when you're sleeping. I would get that, but
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: I in my dream I'd be falling into like a
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: shark's mouth.
• 42:11
  Speaker 4: Swear to god, that's so specific.
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: I know, I'd be like I'd be like on like
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: a boat.
• 42:17
  Speaker 5: And I'd like I give your immersion therapy into sharks.
• 42:20
  Speaker 6: We've got to have you in a plane on like
• 42:24
  Speaker 6: a row crashed down into the water.
• 42:26
  Speaker 5: Need a shark and then the plane crashes. That's what
• 42:30
  Speaker 5: we're gonna do.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: I saw a video two days ago of a shark
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: that got into one of the cages of like, oh.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, those are fucking horrifying, and.
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: The diver just like climbed out like nothing had happened.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: Like everybody on the ship was like turning their heads
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: like fucking sick to their stomach, like they knew that
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: the person had just gotten ripped wimb from limb and
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: then like this lady just like climbed out like nothing
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: had happened, like it was just completely fine.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: I think the creepiest part is not even like the shark.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: It's like in those videos where you see the shark
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: and then you see just like the miles of just emptiness.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they like in the.
• 43:01
  Speaker 5: Ocean empty or seeing how fast they moved there.
• 43:05
  Speaker 6: For like like I was watching a video of an
• 43:07
  Speaker 6: alligator and this guy was like they were telling him
• 43:11
  Speaker 6: like okay, touch the nose. Now put your hand in
• 43:13
  Speaker 6: the mouth and just leave it. And the guy gets like,
• 43:16
  Speaker 6: hit him too, art of nose, and we put his
• 43:17
  Speaker 6: hand in. The guy the alligator in one swoop bit
• 43:21
  Speaker 6: and twisted so the guy will and it just happened
• 43:25
  Speaker 6: so fast.
• 43:26
  Speaker 4: And why were they telling him to put his hand in.
• 43:28
  Speaker 4: It was like a SeaWorld thing or something like feeding
• 43:30
  Speaker 4: the alligators.
• 43:31
  Speaker 6: Bro It was in India, a restaurant. They're serving fresh
• 43:41
  Speaker 6: arm and now they picked the new president. It was
• 43:45
  Speaker 6: it was an Indian election.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: Oh my god.
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: This season transformed your space into an entertainer's dream. With Wayfair,
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: everything ships fast right to your door, shop everything home
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: today at wayfair dot com. That's w A y F
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: A i R dot com, Wayfair, every style, every home.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: I was doing it. I was doing a video where
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: I was like feeding a bear. It was just some
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: dumb ass, fucking hot dog eating contest or something where
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: I was feeding a bear.
• 44:17
  Speaker 5: You fed a bear?
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: A bear? Yeah, It's like it was like a brown bear,
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: but it was like it was like the bear, you know,
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: step On.
• 44:24
  Speaker 4: It might have been I don't know, is it Stepan's.
• 44:26
  Speaker 6: A Russian bear that there's documentaries on him because he's
• 44:29
  Speaker 6: like these people's child.
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: Oh no, it wasn't that one. That does sound sweet
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: as fuck.
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: Though they fucking dices them apart.
• 44:38
  Speaker 4: They just like wrest he loves them too much.
• 44:41
  Speaker 6: He's like their family. They have pictures of him in
• 44:45
  Speaker 6: his own bear shehd what.
• 44:48
  Speaker 4: Do you mean a bearshd.
• 44:49
  Speaker 6: He lives in a bear shed, a bear house, with
• 44:53
  Speaker 6: furniture and photos of the bear parents all throughout the house,
• 44:58
  Speaker 6: like a true child.
• 45:00
  Speaker 5: It's crazy. Step on the Russian bear.
• 45:02
  Speaker 4: And he's just wrestling with people.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: I feel like that bears like kind of get it
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: when when they grow up with Russians.
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: The Russians they treat bears differently. I don't know how
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: that happened. They like drink with the bears.
• 45:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so you had a bear and you were scared.
• 45:14
  Speaker 4: No, I was feeding. I was feeding the bear. I
• 45:16
  Speaker 4: wasn't that.
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: I mean, I was scared, but I wasn't like terrified,
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: because this is like a famous bear that's in like
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: Kia commercials. Like if you ever see a bear in
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: a commercial, this is the fucking bear that's just everywhere.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: But I was like feeding it for this hot dog
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: eating competition. They're like it's going to be fine, like,
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: don't worry about it, just like you feed him a
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: couple of oreos to start off, and then he starts
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: eating the hot dogs or whatever. But and they told
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: me to give him the bear poppers. The bears just
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: loving like but I like, but they told me it
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: was going to be completely fine. And then I fed
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: on the first oreo and they're like like let go,
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: let go, like they made they like I must have
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: did something wrong, and they acted like I was going
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: to get my arm ripped off by this bear. Immediately,
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: I like high tailed the fuck out of there as
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: I could, because they acted like it was going to
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: be like not not a problem at all, Like this
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: bear does it all the time and just like my
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: hand for like a split second to what you do
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: in his mouth. I don't know. They just weren't specific
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: of like how I was supposed to put like am
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: I I guess I was supposed to just like drop
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: it like real fast into his mouth, but I kind
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: of like feed it into his mouth. They should have
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: been more specific it's a fucking bear, but uh it
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: was were you.
• 46:21
  Speaker 5: I would have left it hold my hand get chopped off.
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, mad some of that bear.
• 46:26
  Speaker 5: Money.
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a lot of money and bears.
• 46:28
  Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, big bearing over right now.
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: I should have I was holding out like a fake
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: arm with like the microphone on it, and it was
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: like slapping the fuck out of the arm easily ripped.
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: Then was this?
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: It was like, uh summer. It was like in the
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: middle of COVID. It was like the first time I
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: traveled during COVID. So July fourth, twenty twenty, July twenty twenty,
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: around them, we were doing a hot dogget and competition.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: Is that?
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: Was that?
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: Is that the Russian bear?
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: Oh? It's fucking massive, fucking big.
• 47:00
  Speaker 4: Look at his fucking look at him.
• 47:02
  Speaker 5: Look at them that's in their home. Look at him
• 47:04
  Speaker 5: and he's just.
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: Chilling on the.
• 47:07
  Speaker 6: Would be awesome to hang out he he has framed
• 47:13
  Speaker 6: photos of him with his family.
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how bad.
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: Here's a fucking huge You know what. I don't fuck
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: with it all. Do you guys ever see this like
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: account on Instagram that they have like a like a
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: puma in their house. No, I don't fuck with it
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: at all. Once I report the account. Every time I
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: see it pisses me off because the puma is like
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: obese as fuck and they just like don't like it,
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: just like lives in the house and they just like
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: throw it massive steaks.
• 47:36
  Speaker 5: You're clearly you're not just talking about the liver King.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: Something the liver King would do. No, But it's like
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: they're like they just clearly only have it for the
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: Instagram account because they're like doing ads and ship I
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: guess morbidly obese.
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: As long as you keep it fat, it's not going
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: to like attack you like a hungry.
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: As You should see the videos.
• 47:56
  Speaker 4: Really it like do.
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: They keep it locked now? It just like wanders around,
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: roams around there has like a caller and everything.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, when those people die, like it's it's ju Wiel,
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: that'll be on them. Yeah, they're gonna be on that.
• 48:11
  Speaker 6: Like a monkey rip someone's face off. You're like, that's
• 48:14
  Speaker 6: the only time it's okay to victim blame.
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, why do you have a monkey living in what?
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: It's like it's like a dog isn't good enough for you. You
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: need a fucking monkey walking around the house.
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: Trying to teach him to like get beers in his
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: diapers like that.
• 48:27
  Speaker 4: That's not fucking sweet.
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: That Ship's always super dumb to me to understand.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: People love animals people, but like they love animals in
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: a weird way, Like they don't love animals as equals
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: like I do. Dude, I fucking link up with animals,
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: But they want to have animals as slaves.
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: Bro, that's the ship. When like there's a shark attack
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: like that. You guy ever watch Shark Week?
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: I don't fuck with Shark Week, real, I know, but
• 48:49
  Speaker 4: I don't want it. I don't. I don't like because
• 48:51
  Speaker 4: I don't like re enactments.
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: I don't really want to see the same the real thing,
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: or like nothing at all, and there's never good enough
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: footage of shark attacks.
• 48:57
  Speaker 5: Really liked reenactments?
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, me too, those really corny ones, Dude.
• 49:01
  Speaker 6: I saw one my mom and I. I was visiting
• 49:04
  Speaker 6: my mom in Delaware and we were watching, uh, like
• 49:07
  Speaker 6: a investigative discovery on John Wayne Bobbitt. You guys know him.
• 49:12
  Speaker 4: The guy chopped off his dick, his wife of his penis.
• 49:15
  Speaker 6: You guys are young, Do you remember that? No? I do.
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they chopped off his she she caught him cheating
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: and chopped off his dick and like threw it in
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: a field or some shit.
• 49:22
  Speaker 6: Like yes, yes, and so in the reenactment, the police
• 49:26
  Speaker 6: found the penis and a guy. They're looking around and
• 49:29
  Speaker 6: by the flash he goes, sir, sir, you donna want
• 49:33
  Speaker 6: to come take a look.
• 49:35
  Speaker 5: That right there, that's a penis.
• 49:38
  Speaker 6: And I just kept playing it over and over, imagining
• 49:41
  Speaker 6: like the audition process to like go through three and
• 49:45
  Speaker 6: get his family around the TV and be like, here's
• 49:47
  Speaker 6: my part, here's my part, and he's like, yep, that's
• 49:49
  Speaker 6: a penis.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: Of discovery. Y I wonder if does the penis if
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: chopped off hard, does it stay hard?
• 50:00
  Speaker 4: My imagination is that it kind of just shrivels back.
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: I feel like would have to shrivel back up.
• 50:03
  Speaker 6: Most regular Yeah, there is a docut dude. It turns
• 50:07
  Speaker 6: it she got like railroaded because he totally deserved what happened.
• 50:12
  Speaker 5: Like he was abusive.
• 50:13
  Speaker 4: He was, oh dude, that's the thing that I thought,
• 50:16
  Speaker 4: just cheated.
• 50:17
  Speaker 6: No no, no, dude, he like would hit her, was abusive,
• 50:21
  Speaker 6: like basically kept her as like a fucking sex slave
• 50:24
  Speaker 6: to him, and no one knew that. That didn't get
• 50:27
  Speaker 6: out the only thing that got out was that this
• 50:29
  Speaker 6: crazy like Spanish woman chopped a man's penis off. All
• 50:33
  Speaker 6: that poor guy it became a huge joke. But what
• 50:36
  Speaker 6: got lost was the fact that he was like beating
• 50:38
  Speaker 6: the fuck out of her nightly and like going home
• 50:41
  Speaker 6: and like raping her, and he kind of got what
• 50:44
  Speaker 6: he got and got what he deserved, and then he
• 50:48
  Speaker 6: just like, I don't know, I had a good pr team,
• 50:50
  Speaker 6: and everyone was like this.
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: He sewed his dick back on and got into porn. Yeah,
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: he became a porn star. Yeah, yeah, I had a
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: I don't even know how you show it back on.
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: But he chopped off her pussy.
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: King Solomon was like, and I for an eye, you
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: chop off her pussy recompense for that chopped off dick.
• 51:14
  Speaker 4: She said that ship like she must have fucking uh.
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: How do you even how do you get into a
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: situation where you could chop someone's dick off?
• 51:21
  Speaker 4: He was passed out, he was, yeah, he must have
• 51:24
  Speaker 4: been drunk.
• 51:24
  Speaker 6: He was drunk, came home, beat the fuck out of her,
• 51:27
  Speaker 6: raped her, and then passed out, and she just picked
• 51:29
  Speaker 6: his dick up and was.
• 51:30
  Speaker 7: Like, that's fucking right.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: It was like a knife or was I scissors or
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: like a butcher knife or I'm curious about every detail
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: of it, Like did you pick it up by like this.
• 51:41
  Speaker 4: I think there's pictures of his dirty sock.
• 51:44
  Speaker 5: It's like she chopped a little below the head like
• 51:47
  Speaker 5: it's like this, like she just picked it up and was.
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: Like ooop, Oh so she she didn't cut off beheaded him.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: She beheaded him.
• 51:56
  Speaker 4: I always thought it was from the base and she
• 51:58
  Speaker 4: got the whole thing. Nope, nope, a fucking.
• 52:00
  Speaker 5: George, Like, are you looking honestly during this show?
• 52:06
  Speaker 6: The whole show. I've not seen you with this one's concentration.
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's lighting up, dude, it's like whole fiction.
• 52:14
  Speaker 5: Due.
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: I feel like you chop it off like it like
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: halfway through. It would be probably be pretty easy to
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: just like PLoP the head back on right like a leg.
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if you get it right at like you get
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: him right at the head, if you get it halfway.
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: But if you just get the head off, it might
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: be like a kind of natural, it might look better.
• 52:30
  Speaker 5: Yeah, could you imagine the cop picking it up?
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: Me like, yeah, yeah, that prince.
• 52:40
  Speaker 6: Do you find it?
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: Oh boy, there it looks like a scallop. It looks
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: like like any can wrap scallop.
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: Not a clean cut either. No, that must have hurt.
• 52:51
  Speaker 5: Look at that guy's face.
• 52:52
  Speaker 4: He's like, see what you get, fellows?
• 52:56
  Speaker 7: So that feeling when no bitch?
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: So yeah, that's such as Yeah, so you mess with
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: the wrong band. Oh my god, bro, So what else
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: are you working on?
• 53:21
  Speaker 5: Bro?
• 53:21
  Speaker 4: What do you What do you have coming up?
• 53:22
  Speaker 6: Being I?
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 53:23
  Speaker 5: Man?
• 53:23
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I have a podcast with Jordan Jensen. It's called
• 53:27
  Speaker 6: Being Ian with Jordan and Patreon dot com, slash Beanie
• 53:31
  Speaker 6: and pod new episodes every Wednesdays on YouTube. It's super fun.
• 53:34
  Speaker 5: You guys gotta come to it.
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: That's new right.
• 53:36
  Speaker 4: You guys are doing pretty well.
• 53:37
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it's great, man, We're really having fun. I turned
• 53:40
  Speaker 6: my basement into a podcast studio.
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: And yeah, the set looks great. Yeah, thanks man.
• 53:45
  Speaker 6: I worked really hard on It's like, are you a
• 53:47
  Speaker 6: baactly like my basement in Delaware. We called the Delaware
• 53:51
  Speaker 6: Den just like wood panelled record player.
• 53:55
  Speaker 5: We ripped cigarettes down there.
• 53:57
  Speaker 6: It's awesome, man.
• 53:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's sick.
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: Where do you the story?
• 54:00
  Speaker 6: Williams Williamsburg.
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so was the plan for that to always be
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: you and Jordan? No, dude, that's what I was wondering.
• 54:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I did.
• 54:08
  Speaker 6: The first We did the show in my living room
• 54:11
  Speaker 6: and had to tear I had to take the bathroom
• 54:13
  Speaker 6: door off to get the camera in the bathroom to
• 54:15
  Speaker 6: get the couch in frame, and like all this shit,
• 54:19
  Speaker 6: and my girlfriend at the time fucking hated it, and
• 54:23
  Speaker 6: as you know, luck would have it, she left me.
• 54:25
  Speaker 12: And actually I was like, oh yeah every day and
• 54:33
  Speaker 12: that dude.
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: She left.
• 54:34
  Speaker 6: The next day, I redid the entire apartment and she
• 54:36
  Speaker 6: came back together he stuff and was like, I've been
• 54:38
  Speaker 6: wanting to do ship for a year and you finally
• 54:40
  Speaker 6: do it when I leave, And I was like, ha.
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: You learned the lesson, Ben, you sassly holding up the
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: new picture of the apartment with the fucking no but it.
• 54:51
  Speaker 6: Uh.
• 54:52
  Speaker 5: We we ended up moving to the basement.
• 54:54
  Speaker 6: But I had Jordan on for the first episode because
• 54:57
  Speaker 6: she's like my best friends who've been friends for years
• 54:59
  Speaker 6: and and uh, it was just supposed to be like
• 55:02
  Speaker 6: my thing.
• 55:03
  Speaker 5: And we did an.
• 55:04
  Speaker 6: Episode and we're like, holy fuck, that was so fun,
• 55:07
  Speaker 6: Like just do this with me, let's do it. But
• 55:10
  Speaker 6: I'd already named the show being Ian and had already
• 55:13
  Speaker 6: gotten West Schultz and the Lumineers to do the theme song.
• 55:17
  Speaker 6: So the theme song is being Ian. So I was like,
• 55:19
  Speaker 6: we have to change, keep the name, and so now
• 55:22
  Speaker 6: it's Beanian with Jordan's.
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, that's why I was wondering because I thought
• 55:25
  Speaker 2: that's what happened.
• 55:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, that's sweet.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think that that's gonna happen all the time.
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: What we're like, people have to start a podcast and
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: they have a guest on, They're like, maybe it should
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: just be us on the podcast.
• 55:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, dude. It was like the most fun.
• 55:38
  Speaker 6: And then we just kept recording episodes together and then
• 55:41
  Speaker 6: we hang out all the time anyway, so it's like perfect.
• 55:44
  Speaker 5: But it was a thing for a while, like what
• 55:46
  Speaker 5: do we do with the name? What do we do?
• 55:48
  Speaker 6: So now we say it's Beanian with Jordan's bad name,
• 55:52
  Speaker 6: good pod.
• 55:54
  Speaker 12: Like it's a good name, rhymes rhyme be and Ian
• 55:58
  Speaker 12: being Ian with so they have to repeat it and
• 56:01
  Speaker 12: it gets in their head and then when you subscription.
• 56:08
  Speaker 4: Run it up, man go yeah.
• 56:11
  Speaker 5: But it's fun, man, it's a good time.
• 56:12
  Speaker 4: What is it about like Philly that?
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: Why is it? Why is everyone from Philly so fucking
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: successful right now? I feel like everybody's fucking eating because dude.
• 56:20
  Speaker 5: We all came from fucking nothing and it makes you
• 56:22
  Speaker 5: work harder.
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: We used to grind for times like this to shine
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: like this.
• 56:25
  Speaker 5: That's right whatever, Meek Mill says.
• 56:31
  Speaker 6: Yeah, because we all came from fucking ship in Philly
• 56:34
  Speaker 6: and you had to work your fucking dick off, and
• 56:37
  Speaker 6: you know, it's like that area just makes you work
• 56:40
  Speaker 6: harder because everyone's a fucking dickhead, so you gotta like
• 56:44
  Speaker 6: kick yourself in the ass and everyone around you is
• 56:46
  Speaker 6: an asshole. So like, all my friends were all mean
• 56:49
  Speaker 6: to each other, and it makes us like so much
• 56:51
  Speaker 6: better to be like, oh you think that's up, fuck you,
• 56:55
  Speaker 6: I'll show you, fucking dickhead.
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It's nice to go hang out by your friends
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: and they're like you have tits like.
• 57:01
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah yeah, and then you cut sure yeah yeah,
• 57:09
  Speaker 6: you've deeply affected me, like psychologically I laughed at all.
• 57:15
  Speaker 6: But everyone that comes out of Philly is so funny
• 57:17
  Speaker 6: that it just makes everyone else funny because you're like, oh, fuck,
• 57:20
  Speaker 6: he's fun. I gotta be fun, you know, So like.
• 57:22
  Speaker 4: That Chris gott yelling at you to make you funny.
• 57:25
  Speaker 6: Oh yeah, dude, when your friend yells at you and
• 57:27
  Speaker 6: you're like embarrassed, it makes you better.
• 57:30
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I never want any I mean I do need
• 57:32
  Speaker 5: an adda.
• 57:33
  Speaker 6: Boy.
• 57:33
  Speaker 5: Sometimes I need to be told like, hey, that.
• 57:35
  Speaker 4: Was positive reinforcements, but.
• 57:37
  Speaker 6: I never want just like you're great, that was great,
• 57:41
  Speaker 6: that was great, that was great.
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: That's the worst, right, that's the worst. Yeah, you do
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: something that you know sucked. Yeah, people like, dude, that
• 57:48
  Speaker 2: was amazing. Yeah it wasn't. I don't insult it.
• 57:52
  Speaker 5: Years.
• 57:52
  Speaker 9: Yeah, that's the sound of extremely processed dog food, which
• 57:58
  Speaker 9: is the norm at most pet food company, but at
• 58:00
  Speaker 9: the Farmer's Dog we do things differently. We gently cook
• 58:04
  Speaker 9: our food without ultra processing. It's developed by our team
• 58:08
  Speaker 9: aboard certified nutritionists, made to human grade safety standards and
• 58:12
  Speaker 9: portion for your dog, then delivered right to your door.
• 58:16
  Speaker 9: How does that sound to you? Get fifty percent off
• 58:19
  Speaker 9: your first box, available only at the Farmer's Dog dot com.
• 58:23
  Speaker 5: I've done that before.
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: Though.
• 58:25
  Speaker 6: We're all get off stage and people are like, great job.
• 58:27
  Speaker 6: I'm like, don't fucking lie to me. I know what
• 58:29
  Speaker 6: that was like, No, man, I saw like a couple
• 58:32
  Speaker 6: of minutes it was pretty good.
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, I had one. I'm a psychoplay.
• 58:38
  Speaker 4: What kind of positive reinforcements do you need?
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: Do you need it?
• 58:41
  Speaker 4: From my people?
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: Close to you, or like strangers to give you a
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: really specific compliment or strangers. Yeah, I mean, like I'm greaticals,
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: but like.
• 58:50
  Speaker 6: No, I want positive reinforcement from like my guys, like
• 58:55
  Speaker 6: the people I respect and like, and like anytime the
• 58:58
  Speaker 6: wait staff or kitchen staff at a club likes you,
• 59:01
  Speaker 6: that's when you know, like okay, because they see everyone
• 59:05
  Speaker 6: and to hear like, oh dude, everyone in the kitchen
• 59:07
  Speaker 6: staff came out to watch You're set like that.
• 59:10
  Speaker 5: I'm like, yes, that's what I want.
• 59:11
  Speaker 6: I don't give a fuck about the pigs in the seats,
• 59:14
  Speaker 6: Like obviously I do, like buy tickets.
• 59:16
  Speaker 5: You're great. I appreciate, but it's like, you know, eat there.
• 59:19
  Speaker 6: They're yeah, they you know, Like I mean people that
• 59:23
  Speaker 6: are huge comedy fans to that know the ins and outs.
• 59:27
  Speaker 5: When they dig you, it's great. But people that are just.
• 59:29
  Speaker 6: Like coming, they're like, oh my god, blah blah. It's like, okay, thanks,
• 59:32
  Speaker 6: I got it.
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: But like there's a guy who works here. I only
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: say that because there's a guy who works here. Tommy
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: smokes that he he uh. He's like the only thing
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: that gets me going is like a compliment of like
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: something that not everybody else is complimenting me on like
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: a fucking off the beaten path compliment.
• 59:46
  Speaker 4: And he's also a psychopath.
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: Like if he put out a joke a bit, like
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: a three minute long video and like there's a bunch
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: of jokes in it, he wouldn't want like the funniest joke.
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: He'd be like this nuanced joke or this like small
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: thing that he did to be complimented, because that's what
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: really gets his fucking boss to England. That's what makes
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: him feel good. But like I said, he's the weirdest psychopathic.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: But like most narcissistics, I only care about the old people. Yeah,
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 2: when I'm learning the audience and I can see like
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 2: a seventy year old dude laughing, that's what I'm like.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: This is the only thing that I care about.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Because then you're like, okay, so this actually was funny, right,
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: rather than like someone that's like just there to see you.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 6: Yeah, that's true.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: That person's just there because they heard there was a
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: comedy show happening. Yeah, and then they were like.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 6: Dude, that night at the stand and like yeah, when
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 6: we were all hanging out and like you guys were
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 6: being nice, like that means more to me than some
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 6: dumb blombe walking by and be like ye're a great Yeah,
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 6: shut up.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: That's a tough show too.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what was happening?
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 5: Then?
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 2: It's uh, well, I don't want to say anything bad,
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: but it's just a show where there's like it's mostly
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: a girl audience and they're like like young girls and
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 2: they are only there to see one person got yeah,
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: and then everyone else is kind of.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 4: Just there just dressing a little bit.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: Everyone there just like they'ren't even They're like, well, who
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 2: what is this person doing on stage? Yeah?
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 6: And I was the first comedy yeah, and I could
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 6: just tell off the bat they hated me, so instead
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 6: of like tap dancing for them, I just drove it
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 6: into the grands really, like, so what if I don't
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 6: have a podcast about sex?
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: All right, I'm not here to pressure.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 5: I don't need your Murray Hill energy, okay.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: And they're like, no, like, shut up, Melissa, you feel
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: how I think you feel?
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, not about the trust you.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've done that show. It's it was tough when
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: I did it. I've hard.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, why do you do it then? Or why do
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: you still do it? It's a good show.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 5: It makes you better. Bombing makes you better.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 6: It's like, yeah, it's fun to like lose it, but
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 6: it's like the ultimate goal is going to be like
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 6: a dickhead and flip out it every and over and
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 6: it's about to navigate and figure out like what works
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 6: what doesn't. And that's why I like taking material to,
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 6: you know, on the road or like a show like
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 6: that or like some you know, queer witch coffee shopping boy,
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 6: Like I want to make my stuff work everywhere, you know,
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 6: But there's some nights where it's just like losing no
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 6: matter what, you know, and it's like you just gotta
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 6: take it and you know.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: Eat ship, yell at the yell at the folks, yell
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: at the crowd.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 5: It's cathartic too, Like I.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 4: Was about to say, it sounds like it kind of
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 4: sounds sweet.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: It sounds like it could be a good release from
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: time to time.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 6: Fuck better that than you know, a spouse.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 4: I just passive, aggressively breathed, dude.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: Anytime my wife hears me breathing, she knows that I'm
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: just like being a little bitch, just like driving. It's
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: a fucking nightmare, dude. I got a deviated septum. It
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: sounds like, do you sleep at No, it's probably coming, dude, Eventually,
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: I'll have a sea pap on.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 2: Masks. Do you have one?
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 6: No?
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 5: I probably need one.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 6: I used to have to sleep with like these magnets
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 6: in my no because I was snoring a lot.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 2: Do you ever get the strips I had those? Yeah? Yeah?
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: Do those work?
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 4: Those look like a piece of tape, like putting a bait.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: Hey, it actually kind of worked. Really Yeah, I don't,
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: I'm told it works, but my grandpa uses them, and
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: I would when I would sleep over my grandparents house,
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: I would put one on. I can breathe so clearly, dude.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 6: And I used to be such a precious sleeper. I
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 6: could hear my grandparents snoring in the other room. They
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 6: had a grandfather clock and he's to have to take
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 6: the battery out of I'd have to wake them up,
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 6: and being yeah, just like a little eight year old boyfriends,
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 6: it's just like such a little pussy.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: My dad snores like so fucking loud. In my entire childhood,
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: I just remember waking up in the middle of night
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: to my mom being.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 7: Like, roll over, roll over, dude.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: I was on the road.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 5: I brought do you guys know Chriscpo.
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I brought him out on the road and we
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 6: shared a hotel in uh Saratoga. It was like just
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 6: like lovers in It was very funny and uh he
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 6: was in the bed next to me and he like
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 6: brought a tennis ball for his dog, but he like
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 6: left it in his pocket, right, so he had the
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 6: stands wall. So I'm like dozing off and just like
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 6: he keeps being like, you're snoring, You're snoring, snoring, and
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 6: I kept.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 5: Being like.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 6: And then dude, just in a deep sleep, I just
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 6: feel tennis ball.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 2: Hit be in that.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 7: I'm like, what the fuck? He's like, you won't stop snoring,
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 7: and I'm like, you.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: Show me also like I'm sleeping, stop snoring. It's not
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: like what do you what.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 2: Can you even do about it? Like I know you
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: can do.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 6: I know you're literally made to feel guilty for for existing,
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 6: for breathing.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 2: What is it like when you lay on your back?
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 2: Do you sleep on your back?
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: I guess I think one thing you could do is
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: be less fat. I think that that does hope that easy.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 7: You are fat? Yeah, there it is.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 2: Those doughnuts are I've been thinking about on the whole
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 2: tire episode.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, so fucking good.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 2: Right, I don't even know what that is. I've never
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 2: had anything.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 6: Four the Mochi Donut's fucking Graham and Montrose and Williamsburg.
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 2: That's nuts.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 6: It's a shit, dude, go.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 4: Out there, Bro' fucking incredible.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 2: You're on any any dates you want to plug?
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 2: Once this come out tomorrow? Oh no way?
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 6: Yes, January eleventh and twelfth, I'm doing the Denver Comedy Works,
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 6: January fourteenth, Fairfield Comedy Club, and then January twenty sixth
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 6: and twenty eighth, I'm down in Tampa, Florida, and then
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 6: I got a bunch of stuff coming up Rhode Island, Michigan,
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 6: Long Island, DC, Ianfidance dot com, Being Ian with Jordan
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 6: podcasts on YouTube, Patreon, and yeah, thanks guys.
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 2: So you're going out to Denver Cambor.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 6: Yeah it tomorrow morning. When are you there until Saturday morning?
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: Wow?
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 2: He was about to go to Denver on Saturday? No way, Yeah,
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 2: just to visit one of my buddies. Oh no shit, yeah,
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 2: Oh I go on Friday, bro, because I have spots
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 2: on Friday.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 6: Well, there you go.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: Skip that shit.
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 6: It's a working comic bro, funny fucking fat paychecks before everything.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's what Philly's about.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: Hell yeah, that's what it's about.
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 4: That's what it's about.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 5: It's make you rain like water.
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 6: Let's go, But we appreciate you coming again sometimes, bro,
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 6: appreciate you.
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, for sure.
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 4: Hell yeah