Latest / Recovery Chronicles / Recovery Chronicles Ep. 190 - Kendra Miller

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Recovery Chronicles Ep. 190 - Kendra Miller · Recovery Chronicles

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Recovery Chronicles. I'm your host, Liz, an addiction
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  Speaker 1: counselor at Harpview in Bismarck, North Dakota. This podcast is
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  Speaker 1: dedicated to the real human stories of people in recovery
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  Speaker 1: from alcohol and other drugs. People who have chosen change
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  Speaker 1: and who wake up every day walking that journey. These
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  Speaker 1: are stories of hope, healing and resilience and proof that
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  Speaker 1: transformation is possible. As the new host of Recovery Chronicles,
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  Speaker 1: I've decided to introduce to everyone Herview staff members, so
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  Speaker 1: then we can kind of get harve you staff members
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  Speaker 1: out there for people. So today I have Kendra with me. Hi,
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  Speaker 1: Everyone welcome. Kendra. What is your role at Hartfield.
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  Speaker 2: I am an addiction counselor, so I do individuals outpatient
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  Speaker 2: aftercare groups and then I also do treatment court for
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  Speaker 2: Burley County.
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  Speaker 1: Wow, that's a lot. What kind of inspired you to
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  Speaker 1: work in addiction treatment?
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  Speaker 2: So I always kind of knew I wanted to go
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  Speaker 2: into a field where I could help people. I have
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  Speaker 2: some family history of addiction and I just saw, you
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  Speaker 2: know that sometimes those are the individuals people have a
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  Speaker 2: hard time working with and they don't have a lot
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  Speaker 2: of people to help them, and I just decided that
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  Speaker 2: that is where the need was at, so I ended
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  Speaker 2: up going into it.
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  Speaker 1: Awesome. Yeah, it's definitely a high demand, feel that for sure.
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  Speaker 1: Having people with that compassion. I've known you for a
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  Speaker 1: while is really important. So I am privileged that I
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  Speaker 1: get to kind of work alongside you as well. So, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: what keeps you coming back to work on the hard days?
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  Speaker 2: I think I was just remembering my why, you know,
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  Speaker 2: like always thinking about why I went into it in
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  Speaker 2: the first place, and what makes it worth it every day,
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  Speaker 2: because even just a little success seeing someone you know
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  Speaker 2: get a job or find housing or reunite with family, Like,
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  Speaker 2: even just one success makes it all worth it.
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  Speaker 1: What is a common myth about addiction that you wish
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  Speaker 1: would just disappear.
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  Speaker 2: I think that addiction is a choice. You know, over
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  Speaker 2: the last few years, I feel like that stigma has
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  Speaker 2: gotten better, but there are still so many people who
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  Speaker 2: just don't understand that. People can't just decide one day
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  Speaker 2: to be sober, you know, there's so many other factors
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  Speaker 2: that go into it. Nobody chooses that life, you know,
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  Speaker 2: it comes with so many consequences, and nobody wants to
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  Speaker 2: live their life that way. Maybe that first use was
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  Speaker 2: a choice, but you know after that, it's like it's
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  Speaker 2: it's a disease, it's a sickness.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, It's definitely not something that we wake up
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  Speaker 1: one day and are like, oh, I think becoming an
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  Speaker 1: addict would be fun today exactly. Uh. And what is
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  Speaker 1: one of the toughest moments that you've had in this field?
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  Speaker 2: I think watching people with children especially, but even in general,
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  Speaker 2: just people who want it so bad struggling. You know,
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  Speaker 2: the people who come in and they're there entirely for
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  Speaker 2: themselves and they want to get better, and they're trying
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  Speaker 2: everything that we're suggesting and they're still just struggling. I
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  Speaker 2: think that's really tough to watch because you know, they
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  Speaker 2: want it so bad and there's just something that we're
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  Speaker 2: not finding yet.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, finding that one piece that clicks for help. How
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  Speaker 1: do you avoid burnout or compassion fatigue?
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  Speaker 2: I think that's kind of a tough one because you
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  Speaker 2: go into this field and obviously you have a lot
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  Speaker 2: of empathy. So I guess I try really hard to
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  Speaker 2: like leave things at work and not bring them home
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  Speaker 2: with me. But on those you know, harder days or
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  Speaker 2: when I have to deal with something a little more difficult.
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  Speaker 2: I think just making sure I take time at the
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  Speaker 2: end of the day for like some self care.
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  Speaker 1: I love to read, So whether.
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  Speaker 2: That's reading a book or calling my family or sitting
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  Speaker 2: in the sun, like whatever, it is just trying to
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  Speaker 2: like take care of myself and remind myself that it's
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  Speaker 2: okay to leave those problems at work and then pick
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  Speaker 2: them back up tomorrow.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, leaving things for another day is important, and I
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  Speaker 1: struggle with that too as an addition counselor as well,
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  Speaker 1: with not wanting to take everything on as mine and
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  Speaker 1: needing to kind of fix things.
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  Speaker 2: So yeah, finding that line of like caring for your
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  Speaker 2: clients without taking their problems as your own is difficult.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, so even for me, you know, getting some
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  Speaker 1: of those suggestions of remembering those self care moments that's important.
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  Speaker 1: Is I'm terrible at self care. I can tell people
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  Speaker 1: all day long, oh, do self care, it's important, and
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  Speaker 1: then I'm like, oh, I brushed my teeth today, that's
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  Speaker 1: my self care. What's something you wish that families understood
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  Speaker 1: about recovery.
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  Speaker 2: I think that not everyone's recovery journey is the same.
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  Speaker 2: I think sometimes family especially if they have other people
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  Speaker 2: in recovering the family, they get stuck on this, Well,
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  Speaker 2: you have to go to inpatient, or you have to
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  Speaker 2: do the twelve steps, or there's certain things that a
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  Speaker 2: person has to do, And I just wish everyone would
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  Speaker 2: understand that it's individualized. For some people, meetings just aren't
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  Speaker 2: their thing and that's okay, and it's something else that's
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  Speaker 2: going to help them. So just knowing that every journey
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  Speaker 2: in every road doesn't look the same and that's okay.
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  Speaker 1: Absolutely. What advice would you give to someone who is
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  Speaker 1: supporting a loved one in recovery.
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  Speaker 2: I think learning to love that person the right way,
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  Speaker 2: you know. I think a lot of times when we
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  Speaker 2: love someone in recovery or someone who's trying to get
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  Speaker 2: into recovery, it's hard to not enable them because we
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  Speaker 2: care for them. So I think learning that, like setting boundaries,
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  Speaker 2: is loving that person even when they're kind of hard
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  Speaker 2: to set. So, yeah, just making sure you're setting boundaries
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  Speaker 2: and sticking to them, but still not abandoning that person
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  Speaker 2: in a time of need.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, boundaries. Boundaries are a hard one for and a
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  Speaker 1: lot of times it is those tough boundaries that families
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  Speaker 1: really struggle with as far as I want to love
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  Speaker 1: them and I don't want to give up on them,
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  Speaker 1: but I also have to port checked my own piece.
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  Speaker 1: How do you handle setbacks or relapses with clients?
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  Speaker 2: The first thing I always tell clients if they relapse
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  Speaker 2: is that lapsing doesn't take away all the progress they
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  Speaker 2: already made.
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  Speaker 1: So whether they're.
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  Speaker 2: Starting over at day one on their recovery counter, they
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  Speaker 2: still had all that progress from before, the coping skills
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  Speaker 2: they learned, the insight they gained. So I always just
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  Speaker 2: want to remind people of that. And then you know,
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  Speaker 2: I was just telling them sometimes it just has to
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  Speaker 2: be part of the process and it's unfortunate, but the
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  Speaker 2: important thing is that that came back.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, keeping in kind of keeping net door open to
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  Speaker 1: like there again, the process looks different for everybody. I
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  Speaker 1: know a lot of times in addiction we say that
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  Speaker 1: recovery or that relapse is part of recovery, which sounds
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  Speaker 1: like the most absurd thing that you could say to somebody,
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  Speaker 1: but it really is. I mean, and it happens. But
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  Speaker 1: you are right that it doesn't totally erase everything that
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  Speaker 1: you've already learned. It doesn't erase all the hard work
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  Speaker 1: that you've already put in. So remember if we're reminding
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  Speaker 1: people of that, I think is important. And I also
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  Speaker 1: think that it's important too for families to remember that too,
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  Speaker 1: because families I've seen get really discouraged and well, they
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  Speaker 1: were doing so well and then all of a sudden,
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  Speaker 1: now they're not.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: I think people always ask me to like, is it
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  Speaker 2: hard seeing someone who like graduated and was successful, Is
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  Speaker 2: it hard seeing them come back into services? And yes,
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  Speaker 2: of course, you know, like I wish you know that
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  Speaker 2: they could have held on to it forever. But I
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  Speaker 2: think it's also inspiring to see that they come back
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  Speaker 2: every time and then keep trying and fighting for the
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  Speaker 2: life that they want.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. And I think that's one nice thing too about
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  Speaker 1: Harview is we do have that kind of open policy
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  Speaker 1: to where if you fall off and you know, things
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  Speaker 1: go sideways and you can always come back into services,
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  Speaker 1: or if you're already in service, we can help you
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  Speaker 1: find a higher level of care that you might need
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  Speaker 1: to get yourself back on track. Can you share a
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  Speaker 1: moment when you saw real transformation in a client? Hm?
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  Speaker 2: I actually I am lucky enough to say I feel
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  Speaker 2: like I've seen transformation a lot my work before Heartview
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  Speaker 2: and at Heartview, I think I've seen a lot of
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  Speaker 2: success in the Treatment Court program. You know, people come
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  Speaker 2: and they're coming out of jail or out of prison,
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  Speaker 2: and they have these charges and you know, for a
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  Speaker 2: lot of people, that was their rock bottom. And then
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  Speaker 2: after a year in the program, you know, they've reunited
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  Speaker 2: with kids and their family and they have jobs and
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  Speaker 2: stable housing and they look better. Like you can just tell,
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  Speaker 2: like the glow of someone in recovery is just so
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  Speaker 2: amazing to see. And I'm thankful that I get to
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  Speaker 2: see that pretty often. Actually, yeah, that I know.
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  Speaker 3: I work with the clients that I work with, I
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  Speaker 3: also work with right alongside Kendra, and I send her
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  Speaker 3: updates and things on clients within the Treatment Court program,
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  Speaker 3: And it's so.
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  Speaker 1: Fun for me to be able to send that update
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  Speaker 1: on they're doing really well, they're working on these good things,
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  Speaker 1: they have achieved this, they've gotten a job, they are
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  Speaker 1: looking at apartments, and so that like makes my heart
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  Speaker 1: happy when I'm able to send you those updates.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love reading those too.
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  Speaker 1: What's a small win in recovery that might that people
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  Speaker 1: might overlook but is actually really huge.
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  Speaker 2: I think just getting through the door. You know, I
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  Speaker 2: have people I do a lot of walk in evaluations,
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  Speaker 2: and sometimes that's the hardest part for people. And you
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  Speaker 2: can just tell her in the email they're you know,
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  Speaker 2: anxious or ashamed, or their guilts getting a hold of them,
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  Speaker 2: and I always just tell them like, walking through the
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  Speaker 2: door is a huge success. Sometimes that the that's the
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  Speaker 2: hardest part is asking for help. That's the first step.
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  Speaker 2: And I think it's something so important to acknowledge.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I would. I would have to agree with that,
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  Speaker 1: that acknowledging that you did come in, you know, I mean,
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  Speaker 1: that's scary. You walk into this treatment facility and all
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  Speaker 1: of a sudden you're sat in an office with a
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  Speaker 1: stranger and asked to bear your soul and tell somebody
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  Speaker 1: wrong things that you've done and things that you've struggled with.
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  Speaker 1: So and I think, like I've like I said, I've
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  Speaker 1: worked with Kendra for a long time and having that
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  Speaker 1: compassion for people is important and having that understanding of
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  Speaker 1: this is okay, and it's okay for you to break down.
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  Speaker 1: It's okay for you to have those guilty feelings.
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  Speaker 2: And something I love about heart view that I've heard
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  Speaker 2: from clients, and I've also just witnessed is a mission
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  Speaker 2: of like making sure someone feels accepted from beginning to end,
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  Speaker 2: from that first encounter with admissions or reception to their
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  Speaker 2: evaluating counselor all the way through their treatment. I think
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  Speaker 2: Heartview works really hard to make sure that we're accepting
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  Speaker 2: everybody and you know, cheering them on for the things
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  Speaker 2: that they're doing.
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  Speaker 1: I've heard that too, and I've had people come back
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  Speaker 1: to me and let me know that this person, this
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  Speaker 1: counselor did my evil and I felt seen and I
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  Speaker 1: felt heard and I didn't feel judged from the minute
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  Speaker 1: that I walked in the door to the minute that
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  Speaker 1: I've graduated and been able to have that successful completion
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  Speaker 1: from treatment. So I agree that Heartview does a really
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  Speaker 1: good job at kind of keeping that compassion there. What
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  Speaker 1: would you say to someone who's scared task for help?
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  Speaker 2: You know, as I said, sometimes that's the hardest step.
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  Speaker 2: And I think, you know, there's that saying of like
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  Speaker 2: ten fifteen seconds of courage is all it takes. So
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  Speaker 2: I think, you know, just really living by that of
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  Speaker 2: like I need ten seconds of courage to just walk
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  Speaker 2: through the door, and after that people are going to
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  Speaker 2: be here to help me.
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  Speaker 1: Alone the process.
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  Speaker 2: So it's a scary thing and it's something you almost
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  Speaker 2: just kind of have to jump in and do it.
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  Speaker 2: And I think most people have a pretty positive experience
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  Speaker 2: once they do.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so too. I mean, recovery is hard,
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  Speaker 1: but getting through that door and then seeing that compassion
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  Speaker 1: and having those people greet you with a smile and
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  Speaker 1: greet you with care is important. Like you said, from reception,
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  Speaker 1: or even if people call our admissions team and they're like,
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  Speaker 1: this is what I want and then they're set up
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  Speaker 1: with just you know, all these services that are kind
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  Speaker 1: of wrap around services that people don't even understand that
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  Speaker 1: they need or want or are even available to them.
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  Speaker 2: And I think there's them knowing too that treatment has
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  Speaker 2: changed so much over the years and it's so individualized,
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  Speaker 2: and you know, we want to meet clients where they're at.
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  Speaker 2: We want to do what they're ready to do. So
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  Speaker 2: you know, like asking for help doesn't have to mean
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  Speaker 2: that you're going straight to impatient or you know, you
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  Speaker 2: have to leave your family or whatever it is. We're
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  Speaker 2: going to meet you where you're at.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, and it's it is it's important to remember
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  Speaker 1: that you know, we have single parents that come in
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  Speaker 1: that can't jump into a thirty day stay away from
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  Speaker 1: their kids, or their job isn't going to accommodate that.
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  Speaker 1: So then it's okay, what can we work with as
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  Speaker 1: far as your job schedule, your kids' schedule, those types
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  Speaker 1: of things, and making sure that we are individualizing treatment.
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  Speaker 1: And I've heard from a lot of people too that
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  Speaker 1: they have seen some of like the old school things
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  Speaker 1: where you know, you sit in a room and your
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  Speaker 1: family tells you all the crappy things that you've ever
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  Speaker 1: done in your entire life, and so then they don't
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  Speaker 1: want their family involved. But that's not the way that
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  Speaker 1: we do things anymore because we've realized that that is
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  Speaker 1: not actually therapeutic. Yep. But what message or hope do
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  Speaker 1: you want to leave listeners with today?
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  Speaker 2: I just think that recovery is out there. It's possible
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  Speaker 2: for every person who wants it, and it's not easy,
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  Speaker 2: you know, I always say it's it's not easy. It's simple,
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  Speaker 2: you know, it's simple to come get help and to
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  Speaker 2: get the evail and to do the treatment. But that
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  Speaker 2: doesn't mean it's going to be easy. But there are
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  Speaker 2: so many success stories out there and any single person
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  Speaker 2: listening to this can add to that success.
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  Speaker 1: Absolutely, And if there's anybody out there listening that you
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: or your family members are struggling, reach out to Harview.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: We haven't a wonderful team that even if you call
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: Harview they will give you information. We have walk in
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: Evail clinic that is that you could even meet Kendra.
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  Speaker 1: She does a lot with them. So our walk in
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  Speaker 1: Evel clinic is Monday through Thursday from eight am to
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  Speaker 1: ten am and we would be glad to help you
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  Speaker 1: along your journey, whatever that may look like for you.
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  Speaker 1: So thank you Kendra for being willing to come on
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  Speaker 1: and kind of talk to me about different things that
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  Speaker 1: you do and your role at Harview. I think it's
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  Speaker 1: important to get at least our names and our voices
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: out there a little bit make it a little less
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: scary for people that are coming in through the truitment. Absolutely,