Latest / The Christian Reeve Podcast / Happy New Year 2022 | The Christian Reeve Podcast | #125 |

Transcript

Happy New Year 2022 | The Christian Reeve Podcast | #125 | · The Christian Reeve Podcast

0:01
Hello and welcome to just any episode of the Christian we
0:08
podcast. This is an m and S now I'm just
0:11
checking happy New Year everybody.
0:15
Yeah, it's the first episode of the podcast of the New Year.
0:19
2022 and I would have done this episode sooner, but I spent New
0:25
Year's Day hungover. Unfortunately, I don't drink.
0:31
At all save for like special occasions or once in a blue
0:36
moon. If I go out like I'm not saying
0:38
I never have a beer or whatever but like I don't as a rule, I
0:43
don't generally drink a lot because I don't know.
0:46
I feel like I've grown out of it a little bit, you know, I'm just
0:50
very busy, a lot of the time and Wow.
0:55
I mean I just don't have time to be hung over because it I don't
0:59
know about you guys, but, you know, I'm 28 right now, and
1:05
every time there's like a hangover situation.
1:07
It doesn't matter what I do. You know, stay hydrated, stick
1:11
to one drink, none of those things seem to work.
1:15
I just always feel terrible. So that kind of makes me not
1:21
want to drink really And that's what, you know, what I was going
1:27
to just dive into last year and do a recap and do my new goals
1:31
for for the new year. But I think I might just talk
1:34
about this for a second. So this is how I spent my New
1:38
Year's. I thought I was just going to
1:39
sit and watch Marvel movies and drink by myself, which sounds
1:43
kind of depressing. But that's basically how I spent
1:46
Christmas day and that was fine and I was kind of just resign
1:51
myself to that, you know, I did, I did a five-hour live stream on
1:57
Twitch for my twitch watches Twitches, picture audience,
2:03
people that watch me on Twitch anyway, I didn't plan to do
2:07
that. I just wanted to start earlier
2:10
and it was going well and then I sort of cut it off about the
2:14
time that I was starting to get drunk.
2:15
So I was already drunk by about. When did I stop?
2:22
I think about 8, 9 p.m. and I received a text from from my
2:30
housemate saying, hey, let's have a drink together because
2:33
he's in the house as well. I thought that was great.
2:37
I was like, yeah cool, you know, so we're just drinking listen to
2:41
music and then we both kind of agreed.
2:45
Yeah, let's go and watch the fireworks from the nearby bridge
2:48
and that was a great idea that was that was the how we
2:51
literally spent New Year's. So the moment that the Clock
2:54
Struck 12 or whatever we didn't do a countdown or any of that
2:57
lame stuff. No offense to anyone that does
3:00
the countdowns you know I've done the can't dance myself.
3:02
It's just I don't know. I felt like that might be a bit
3:04
lame. It's just two guys standing on a
3:06
Reid's going nine. Hey IG.
3:10
I didn't even think about that. I'm just being haven't properly
3:13
woken up yet. So maybe that's why.
3:15
Anyway, we have a drink with quite a few drinks and literally
3:23
every single direction that I looking our fireworks.
3:28
I didn't we don't know where to look, it was awesome.
3:32
And then, you know, it's kind of done and he just Just I was
3:37
expecting him to just say I let's go home then but he just
3:41
turned and looked at me with that.
3:42
Look in his eyes, I knew straight away.
3:44
The sin is the look happened. Because I've seen that look many
3:48
times and it's never good but, you know you got to live, right?
3:52
You guys got go for it sometimes, say gave me the look
3:56
and he said he was going to the city and we live quite close to
4:00
the city. I mean at what I say close it's
4:04
about 20, 25 minute walk but Under it goes by quickly, you
4:07
know, we will quite quickly, it just doesn't feel like that
4:10
long. You can take a bus if you want.
4:13
Yeah. Anyway, so we're in the city and
4:16
we're running around shouting soon like Ronaldo.
4:21
Because that's the thing here in Manchester and the UK because he
4:23
came back to Manchester United, this is Cristiano, Ronaldo, the
4:27
football player and his kind of signature celebration is to sort
4:35
of run. Skip jump and then just shout.
4:38
See at the top of his lungs and the whole crowd does it.
4:41
It's actually really cool like to watch the whole crowd in a
4:44
stadium, do that. And it's just become a bit of a
4:47
meme at this point. And there's video, there's video
4:53
evidence of me doing this. If you go on my second Tick-Tock
4:57
account, Christian Reeve to, you can see a video of me really
5:00
drunk at New Year's doing the soon really loudly.
5:06
Anyway, so that's what we're doing.
5:07
And we're just being like overly nice to everyone, because why
5:10
wouldn't you? But we're very drunk.
5:12
So, you know, we're being overly friendly to strangers, but
5:15
everyone up north is really nice.
5:17
I don't know, I always seem to shit on London even though I'm
5:21
from London but that's kind of what we do in London.
5:23
You know, I mean we Grumble about it and we just get on with
5:26
it and we dare are things that are cool and good about London
5:30
but Mostly, it's just like hassle to live there and I never
5:36
particularly got on with the people in London, but not
5:38
everyone, there get me wrong, there's all there's pockets of
5:40
really awesome people and London and spots and such just like any
5:44
major city. But ever since I moved up to
5:47
Manchester, I've been very kind of just overwhelmed with how
5:51
nice everybody is and it just blows me away every single time.
5:55
And New Year's Day was no exception.
5:58
Just really nice people. Everyone's in a good mood
6:00
because it's New Years. You It even people that were
6:04
coming back from what looks like work or they didn't look very
6:06
happy. We would be like, hey happy New
6:08
Year and they just put a smile on their face.
6:10
Like, hey, here's a little bit of hope, you know, New Year,
6:13
maybe the new opportunities, right?
6:16
That's the way I always try to look at a new year.
6:18
Even the new years that I've had where, you know, I began the
6:22
year kind of really depressed or miserable about something like
6:25
this hundred percent was the best New Year's I've had since I
6:31
went to To Prague in what? December 2014.
6:36
So, New Year's 2015, this was the best one since then.
6:41
Like I just genuinely felt happy.
6:43
I was enjoying myself. I felt like this is going to be
6:46
a new year. Is going to be a new year,
6:48
really, really know. But I was excited.
6:59
I'm still excited. I felt like towards the end of
7:02
2021. I just kind of kept thinking
7:04
about the opportunities. The 2022 is going to bring and
7:08
I've just this whole the whole well let's end the last six
7:13
months of 2021. I've been sort of filled with
7:17
positivity and hope for the future because when I start
7:22
doing all this content stuff in 2019, I didn't have a plan.
7:27
The only thing I had in mind was I'm going to do all of these
7:31
things that I gave up on that. I never sort of bothered to try
7:37
because I thought I wasn't good enough or I didn't have any
7:40
ideas or I just know, that's not for me, you know?
7:43
I was like, well, maybe it is for me, you know, i-i've always
7:45
been a musician. I've always enjoyed writing
7:47
music. Why can't I do acting why can't?
7:50
I create videos for people on the internet?
7:52
Why can't I do live streaming? Why can't I do a podcast?
7:55
No. Who says I can't, you know, and
7:57
of course you get okay comments and stuff and people try and
8:00
tear you down. I mean, I get daily hate
8:02
comments everywhere, but it doesn't faze me anymore.
8:07
I feel like in a way, I feel indestructible because the most
8:16
important thing to me and the main thing going from my head is
8:20
that I love doing this and it never stops being fun.
8:27
And I think that's maybe the biggest cake.
8:31
I've kind of figured out or taken from 2021.
8:36
I'll go into some life lessons in a second because I'm kind of
8:38
at the moment. My mind is scrambled.
8:40
I'm, you know, I had like an idea of how to structure this
8:43
and everything like my normal episodes, but I guess I expected
8:47
this episode after the fair episode to be like a big
8:52
reflection, you know, an introspective moment which if I
8:56
don't know if that's necessarily interesting for you to listen to
8:59
or watch but hey, this is my podcast.
9:02
So I'm going to do what I want and I wanted to do more episodes
9:06
like this. Like I said, last time where,
9:10
you know, I discuss more in, maybe it is just me and, you
9:13
know, maybe there isn't always an expectation for there to be a
9:15
guest in order to like carry the show and have something
9:20
happening, you know, because I've seen many people that do
9:24
podcasts so low and they It and what can I do it?
9:28
You know, back to that theme. Why can't?
9:30
I who says I can't. I'm just going to do it.
9:33
That's, that's how I started this podcast as you guys know.
9:36
Like, I literally just wanted to do a podcast for many many years
9:41
and then, you know, I did one with a couple of friends online.
9:44
It was short-lived and then I was like, Yeah, by that point, I
9:48
had the podcast bug. I wanted to do my own podcast so
9:51
I was like, let's just do it. Let's just see what happens.
9:54
And here we are interested. During the second year of, it'll
9:57
be two years in June, I believe, which is flown by.
10:02
I mean, this is episode 125, just to put that into
10:05
perspective, there has been one hundred and twenty five episodes
10:10
of which I believe over 90 of them.
10:13
Maybe a hundred of them. No, maybe I think, like, 110 of
10:18
them have been interviews. And then the rest are the small
10:24
episodes that I did, where I carry a particular topic where
10:28
I'm still, I've got a bunch of ideas for that, but obviously,
10:33
the interviews take precedence and I feel like that will always
10:37
be the more interesting content, but, you know, I'm open to
10:40
ideas. If there's particular topics,
10:42
you guys want to hear me talk about at length.
10:46
Let me know. Then I'll do it anyway.
10:50
Reflecting on 2021. I've learned many things in
10:55
2021. I think I learned.
11:03
To think more about my brand and what makes sense for me.
11:09
And what I need to achieve in the future.
11:12
So what I mean by this is, for example, I was offered the
11:17
opportunity to go on a television show here in the UK
11:21
and you know, it's just standard Saturday night, television and
11:26
Immediately, my first thought was all television, I could, you
11:31
know, get noticed, get more attention towards my brand, etc,
11:36
etc. But the more and more I thought
11:39
about it. And then when I did the
11:42
audition, Or the preliminary it audition because there's like
11:47
later auditions. But I got shortlisted basically
11:52
I just had a bad feeling the whole time but this isn't right
11:55
for me. This doesn't feel like what I
11:56
should be doing and I spoke to a bunch of friends about it, one
12:00
friend in particular. And I basically just told her
12:04
all of the different reasons why I didn't think it was a good
12:07
idea and she agreed with every single one.
12:10
And the only positive we could find were weighed against all
12:14
the Saves was oh, you know it's a chance I'll be on telly.
12:20
But she made a very astute point which I think is very important
12:23
in links to this. She said this would be the first
12:26
thing that you've ever done on television.
12:29
And years and years from now. You'll go back to this point,
12:35
you know maybe it'll be this is playing like fantasy but let's
12:38
say I was on the chat show and I'm talking about my career and
12:41
they bring up this embarrassing show that I've been on it.
12:43
You know what? It doesn't sound that
12:45
embarrassing, the premise of the shade kind of sounds like a fun
12:47
show to be on and you know I wish them well with their show
12:51
because I think it will get some attention.
12:53
I mean, we love music here in the UK and it's some music based
12:56
show. I can't go too many details.
12:59
I mean you haven't signed anything or anything but I just
13:05
like to just keep these things private and you're just out of
13:07
respect, you don't want to bad-mouth there's show before it
13:14
even comes out and then like you know that's just not necessary
13:17
or nice, you know. And this this is just an
13:19
amicable same as well. Like the producer of the show
13:24
asked me why I wasn't interested in.
13:25
I was just truthful. I just said, I don't think it'll
13:28
be a good fit for either of us as well, not just for my brand,
13:33
but also for them because I think It was up to think about
13:38
because I'm my mindset is always focused on my audience and the
13:42
type of content I create for that audience, you know, I don't
13:46
create things solely for the audience but I try to kind of
13:50
think about the types of things I'm creating and if that makes
13:54
sense for that audience. So to kind of break that down, I
14:03
don't, I don't promote the podcast, much on my short
14:08
platforms. So what I mean is Tick-Tock
14:10
Instagram, you know, I have Instagram and Tick-Tock for the
14:15
podcast with like small little Snippets Clips because of course
14:19
you would do that, but I tend to keep them quite short.
14:22
I don't upload long Clips on there anymore.
14:24
I tried that for a while but it's unnecessary.
14:27
So I just saved the long clips for YouTube and have the short
14:30
clips on those websites and that Small example of me thinking,
14:34
okay, these platforms are built for short videos, so even on
14:39
Tick-Tock Tick-Tock you can upload like clips that are like
14:42
three minutes long but you'll notice that most people still
14:45
stick to like less than a minute or less than 30 seconds even and
14:50
sometimes that would be to do with the sound not lasting for a
14:53
long time or you know, there'll be another reason.
14:56
But generally I think it's people's understanding that, you
14:58
know, the shorter, the better for those particular platforms.
15:03
and the way I fought about my brand is, I will try to Insert
15:09
me, who I am my personality unto all of these different
15:13
platforms. These different media channels
15:18
in a way that makes sense. For those channels, you know,
15:21
because you can't force your will, or your yourself onto
15:27
those things, you still have to abide by the rules, so to speak,
15:31
in terms of, you know, okay, if it's tick tock, then it's like
15:33
shorter videos. If it's YouTube, it's long
15:35
videos, there's a podcast. Last.
15:38
I mean generally the focus should always be the sound.
15:41
I know there's a video version of this for YouTube but I
15:46
suppose much the biggest thing I always think about what the
15:48
podcast is. How do I create something that
15:54
Is easy to listen to. It has kind of a structure that
15:59
you can follow and doesn't Dart around in too many different
16:03
directions. Because look, I have a tendency
16:06
to go on tangents. I one of the things I've learned
16:09
is how to bring it back and make everything connect to each
16:12
other, but I'm human, you know, we get excited.
16:15
We go on tangents, especially today is the 2nd of January and
16:20
I'm just filled with Excitement and wonder about what this year,
16:26
could bring them and the opportunities and everything
16:28
because 2021 open my eyes in many ways.
16:33
You know, I feel like 2020 was the the time that I just had the
16:37
opportunity to just work on this stuff a lot because for most of
16:42
2020 or no, yeah most of 2020. I was unemployed and that way
16:47
then to 2021 And so, because of that, you know, I would look for
16:53
jobs every single day, but, you know, you can't, you can't look
16:58
for jobs, 9, 10 hours a day. It doesn't matter what the job
17:00
centers says, that's just not possible.
17:04
Like, you know, I mean, you can There's only so many jobs being
17:07
posted, you know what I mean? And also, one thing that
17:12
happened that which was weird during covid but made sense, is
17:15
that there were just Less jobs, like people were not posting ads
17:18
because, you know, we were in a covid situation in most places
17:22
have closed down. So where are you going to work?
17:24
It was either work at supermarket or maybe like one of
17:30
those koban tested covid testing centers or that's kind of it
17:35
really, you know, I mean, Everything else was shot and I
17:39
had some interviews over the time.
17:41
Never really got successful. I finally got a job in.
17:45
Let me see November of this of, let's go see this year of 2021.
17:49
So better job for about two or three months now.
17:52
And I throughout the whole time I always had like freelance
17:55
work, like marketing work, I've been doing that since 2018 just
17:59
like basic copywriting stuff but that stuff is not reliable.
18:04
You know, you get clients for maybe Six months at a time and
18:08
then sometimes people go acquire or new for a while, you know,
18:12
people just don't want to work with you anymore, but don't say
18:14
anything which is just a side note as a little bit
18:18
unprofessional. When people do that, I remember
18:20
there was this one person I was working with for quite a while
18:25
but five months and one day they just stopped sending work
18:29
through and I was like, oh hey do you know when we're going to
18:33
receive the next round of assignments and then they said,
18:35
yes Time in March or whatever, this would have been last year
18:40
and then it came to March, I followed up in it, and then I
18:43
followed up again, and then they started ghosting me, which was
18:46
weird for like, a business contact start.
18:49
Ghosting me. That I'm sure they had their
18:51
reasons, maybe they just You know, didn't have a budget for
18:55
anymore, but just didn't want to tell me that.
18:57
I don't know. It's people working with ways in
18:59
the business World point is. It's it's fleeting, it comes and
19:06
goes. And, you know, there are times
19:07
when I'm really busy at times when I'm not so busy.
19:11
Although, to be fair, I'm generally always busy now
19:14
because of creating stuff online and doing all these things.
19:17
It just occupies my time and I like to be busy.
19:23
I I think the biggest thing that being unemployed taught me, is
19:28
that when you have too much time and not not nothing to do with
19:33
the time that gets depressing, it's not the first time I've
19:36
been unemployed in my life, there was one very brief moment.
19:40
After I finish University in September 2017, where I moved
19:48
from England to Estonia with my ex's, family and I for a brief
19:54
time lived on her parents farm for about 3-4 months, but I
20:00
think the reason that that didn't hit me is a I was around
20:03
other people and be, I was working on the farm because if
20:07
you're if you live on a farm, you have to work on the farm to
20:09
keep it going. That's just how it works.
20:11
And I like the experience, it was something new.
20:13
I was always happy and I was applying for jobs still, you
20:17
know, marketing jobs. But I just hadn't had much
20:20
success and I got a job. In February of 2018 I believe
20:26
and then I've been in employment ever since saved.
20:29
For that that period I just mentioned but this was
20:33
different. This was like even with the
20:40
hours that I would spend searching for jobs, And then
20:46
looking for opportunities to make content online even with
20:50
all that stuff I still had loads of time.
20:54
So what do I do with this time? I don't understand how anyone
20:57
could live like this for extended periods of time and it
21:01
really just got to me. And inevitably, I had lots of
21:04
time to think which is kind of a double-edged sword on one hand.
21:09
It's very good. I recommend that everyone Try to
21:13
find moments in their lives when they can just sit and be and
21:18
thoughts will come to you and you will figure things out about
21:21
the past that you haven't had the opportunity to think about,
21:25
because you're giving yourself that time, you know, I think we
21:31
live in distraction in life, far too much.
21:35
And we don't spend enough time working on ourselves and working
21:40
on our minds and reflecting on the past in a positive way, it's
21:43
very easy to torture oneself and think all afforded on this
21:48
things would have been better and based like you're not the
21:51
person, you are now Fucking past.
21:55
Yeah, you re different person and you had your decisions in
21:58
front of you and you made a decision based on what you
22:01
thought was right at the time. And, you know, we all have
22:04
regrets, we will have ways we would have done things better,
22:08
but I don't know. My mindset is always to just do
22:11
the very best you can in that moment and let it be, you know,
22:16
once it's done, it's done, you can't change it.
22:19
So you got to stick with that decision and realize that, you
22:24
know, life is a story book with different chapters and you can
22:29
always write a new chapter, you know?
22:31
Just because some of the chapters might have sucked
22:34
doesn't mean the rest of the book has to suck.
22:36
Hey, hey, I don't know. I'm just trying to sound cool.
22:40
No, but I genuinely think that way, I mean, and I think 2021,
22:45
especially has given me, Hope it's given me belief in what I'm
22:52
doing because I've built like a little Community online, there's
22:57
a lot of positivity and positive comments and people making me
23:00
realize that, you know, maybe I really have a chance with acting
23:03
and voice acting and presenting music everything that I'm doing
23:08
online. Because that used to feel like a
23:13
pipe dream. and now, It doesn't feel like a dream anymore, it
23:22
feels. Feels like I'm very close to,
23:29
like winning the race. You know, like I'm I can't
23:33
disclose, you can't see me doing the action, this close, and I
23:38
just have to keep going, keep going.
23:40
Yeah, it's a bit like if you've ever been in a race situation,
23:43
or course you have or, you know, an experience where you like
23:48
when you're at the gym, right? And your training and your
23:53
body's kind of telling you to stop, but you just want to push
23:56
it that little bit. We'll get, you know, get that
23:57
last mileage in maybe break a record, whatever.
24:00
Right. And because you know, you'll get
24:02
the ultimate satisfaction when you push it and you push your
24:06
everything, your mind, your body over that edge.
24:09
And you get to that point where you, you know, you enter a new
24:12
phase if you like, you become the next best version of
24:16
yourself, and that's how I feel right now.
24:19
It feels like every time I take a new opportunity, make use of a
24:23
new opportunity or I just put myself out there a little bit,
24:25
try something. I've never tried before,
24:27
whatever. I get surprised at what happens.
24:33
I tried to keep a clear mind. Now, you know, there are
24:37
moments. When you know luck, I'll turn on
24:39
the stream and there'll be no one there, and it kind of
24:43
grounds me again and makes me think like, oh, I'm Just a
24:46
Nobody, there's no one here, but then somehow it always seems to
24:50
work out. So a few people will come along
24:52
and, and the stream will become really fun and awesome.
24:55
Right? and, I think what I've learned
25:02
now is to kind of lower my expectations and not get ahead
25:08
of myself with regards to that, like, yes, I might have some
25:12
live streams that did well, but that doesn't mean that everyone
25:15
will do well. Same with videos.
25:18
Take what I achieved in 2021 these no matter what happens
25:22
from this point onwards, these will always be achievements that
25:25
I'm very proud of and means that I think there's something about
25:30
what I do that. Maybe is worthwhile and people
25:34
should invest in. I don't know, Iris.
25:37
I managed to get a video to 2.9 million views on Tick.
25:42
Tock, it went viral. I checked the rules a video has
25:45
to go above a million for it to be viral.
25:48
So it went viral and I got tons of followers on Tick.
25:54
Tock from that, about 29,000. And I thought, naively all this
25:59
is it. I've made it.
26:01
This is the beginning you know time for me to become
26:05
successful. Yes finally.
26:07
And of course it didn't happen. And what that taught me as I say
26:13
it's the lower expectations and not get ahead of myself.
26:18
And I kept working, you know, I'm going to stop working.
26:21
But my attitude for a little bit after that was a bit.
26:24
I was very disappointed. I wasn't that I'm never going to
26:27
give up, you know, but at the same time I felt a bit like a
26:31
deflated balloon after that. I felt my God I guess guess I
26:35
was just kidding myself. About you know these things take
26:38
time. I think that relatively
26:43
speaking. I haven't been doing this long.
26:44
I started properly in 2019. Dean.
26:48
It wasn't really till 2020 that I started to make some Headway I
26:53
suppose and I covered this in one of my latest live streams,
26:58
but I wanted to cover it here. I've gained a lot of confidence
27:04
through. Maybe for podcasting live
27:07
streaming just just spending a lot of time in front of a
27:11
camera. I've learned how to do that.
27:15
Which again sounds strange. I mean, is it really that
27:19
difficult to talk to a camera? I would say, yes.
27:22
If you don't feel comfortable, Just talking for one out loud.
27:31
That's the first part of it, that's quite difficult.
27:35
And then the second part of it is having that confidence and
27:40
belief in yourself to just carry that conversation and make it a
27:43
reality. For instance, every time I go
27:48
into a live stream now I don't have a plan you know I have like
27:52
okay this might be an AMA. I encourage people to ask me
27:55
questions or, you know, ask me for advice or whatever just get
28:00
conversations going and then I'll provide the rest kind of
28:03
thing that's my mindset, and it works every time, it works some
28:07
days better than others. And that's Jim, really how I
28:12
approach most things is, you know, I have like a very calm
28:17
mindset and I just, I just I don't panic.
28:20
I know that it'll be fine, you know?
28:22
Like I try to upload daily content online every single day,
28:27
just short videos because it's not difficult.
28:30
But what I try to do is make sure that it's like good quality
28:35
stuff like it's They are good videos that people would want to
28:41
watch, they're not just lays, that's what I'm looking for.
28:43
I can't have Alexa days of cool, kind of attitude towards these
28:47
things. I have to always put my very
28:49
best into these, into these things, which, of course, one
28:54
should do. But at the same time, I think
28:58
I've learned more and more as time has progressed Hot that
29:03
that the attitude is everything and to continually work on that
29:08
and make sure that every thing that I do is the best
29:11
representation of me that it can be, you know, either it
29:14
showcased is my music ability or my acting ability or my speaking
29:20
abilities, or whatever the case may be, right?
29:24
I learned the same thing with the podcast when I first started
29:28
the podcast, you'll notice there's quite a few episodes
29:30
that very short 15 minutes 20 minutes and I look at that.
29:35
Now in retrospect and kind of feel like oh it was a bit lazier
29:39
could have done longer episodes, but you know what, it's not all
29:42
about. Quantities by quality.
29:46
You know, when I go back to those episodes I'm still proud
29:49
of them but I was still figuring out. what the podcast is at that
29:55
point, for instance, my Suppose, minimum amount of time that the
30:04
podcast needs to be as about 45 minutes.
30:06
That's what I am for around that kind of falling.
30:08
Like, I felt like that's enough time any less than that, is not
30:12
really acceptable and I'm sure no one would penalize me for it
30:18
or be angry if it was shorter, but I just in my mind that's
30:22
what podcast is anywhere from like, 45 minutes to an hour and
30:25
a half but of course my episodes go for varying. and my attitude
30:31
is always it's as long as it needs to be you know, it can be
30:34
an hour, two hours could be three hours whatever but It will
30:39
be for as long as it needs to be, you know, end it when it
30:44
needs to end, not ending it where you have to end it.
30:48
I remember when I did my first podcast before the Christian
30:51
roof podcast that did one with a couple of friends and I've said
30:54
this before, but it's relevant right now.
30:58
It was used to bug me how we had to end the episodes early.
31:02
I think I can't. Number wife editing purposes or
31:06
there was like a reason why we couldn't do it.
31:08
Past 45 minutes or something and every episode like afterwards, I
31:14
would say to the guys, like oh like I was barely getting
31:17
started. I barely scratched the surface
31:20
and you know, they said well, this is all we can do, blah,
31:23
blah, blah and I understood but it just sucked, right?
31:26
And I thought to myself, if I ever do my own podcast, I want
31:30
to be able to talk for as long as I need to talk so that when
31:35
I'm done, I'm like, okay, I'm done now.
31:38
And that's what I've done with this podcast.
31:42
And it's weird. It's like a sense of sense of a
31:46
type of therapy in a way, you know.
31:47
I get it out of my system and now I can relax.
31:50
It's done, you know, obviously there is this tendency for one
31:58
to feel lazy towards these things, sometimes.
32:00
You know, like, or I could just release an episode just to get
32:03
an episode out there. Like, for example, I missed a
32:09
week last year, I missed. Various weeks last year, the
32:13
podcast normally that just meant that I had a guest allow, you
32:18
know, we get a lot of cancellations for guests but
32:22
also there's other reasons for that.
32:23
You know, for example, the last year of last week of the year in
32:29
2021, the last episode I did was on volunteering, and it was a
32:34
speaking episode and I think my mindset was for a while, maybe I
32:43
could do an end-of-year recap and then I'll also do another
32:48
episode, which is like happy New Year goals for the new year.
32:51
But I thought why not just do one whole big episode because
32:54
that makes more sense. Doesn't it to kind of have a
32:56
recap of what you've learnt in the previous year and then talk
32:59
about what's going to happen in the new year, or at least what
33:02
you're planning to do in the new year, that made more sense.
33:06
The lazy part of me was like, oh, I could just Two episodes
33:09
and then boom. That's more content like a lot,
33:12
but it's like, no that's the wrong attitude to have.
33:14
You gotta think about things from the perspective of what is
33:17
the best possible thing for the listener or the viewer?
33:22
What's the best quality way of doing this?
33:24
And that made sense in my head. So I missed a week or week, and
33:27
a half, whatever it was, and I'm glad I did that because now I'm
33:32
sitting here relaxed happy. And ready for this new year. is
33:40
this new episode and then the other the new people that I will
33:43
interview on this podcast who knows what's going to happen in
33:48
this new year. But yeah, I just want to run
33:51
through a few of the other lessons that I learned this
33:53
year. It's not all of the lessons but
33:55
you know, I figured I would go through all of them.
33:58
So Okay. There's only really one more
34:03
actually, but maybe this is the most important thing.
34:08
I've learned to appreciate the little things more and to be
34:11
grateful for everything that I have, I'm not a religious man,
34:16
but I did find myself a few days ago, sitting And thanking I
34:24
guess saying thanks for what I have like everything.
34:29
And I do that more and more. Now, I tried to really make the
34:34
most of everything that happens, every moment.
34:36
I try to enjoy everything as much as I can maintain good
34:42
relations with all the people in my life.
34:46
Because you know life is too short.
34:50
Nothing is certain you know as morbid as it sounds, you know.
34:57
I'm always thankful every day, I wake up every day.
35:01
I wake up I'm like wow another day and made it to another day.
35:05
Here we are. It's another day.
35:09
And I think one of the biggest reasons why I think that way is
35:11
because there's people, I knew who are no longer with us
35:16
anymore, their lives were cut short.
35:21
And I think something kind of snapped in my head when that
35:23
happened. It's difficult when you see
35:27
people pass away, you know, from old age or sicknesses or, you
35:31
know, sometimes people just passed away earlier and it's a
35:33
surprise to everyone. But when it's people, you know,
35:37
you went to school with people, you went to University with
35:42
young people with they'll rest of their lives ahead of them.
35:48
It really hits you. Because you start looking at
35:52
your own life and everything you've done. and, Suddenly you
36:01
feel a lot more fragile. You stop feeling invincible.
36:03
And you start feeling like, wow. It can happen, man.
36:09
Anytime and obviously, I'm referring to instances where
36:15
people took their own lives. But That's another thing I
36:20
learned, you know, it's like how deep mental health is as an
36:25
issue and how how it can affect you in.
36:30
How you never really necessarily know that someone's going
36:34
through these these issues. Sometimes they could be smiling
36:39
and happy and next minute, they're just gone.
36:43
No one has any idea? I've never suffered from Mike.
36:49
I always would say I've suffered from acute, depression, never,
36:52
like the form blown one, but I've had like, is Extreme
36:56
sadness of thing. I've heard that I've had the
37:01
best moments here and there. and, Naturally have dark
37:07
thoughts. And I wondered a lot of the
37:09
time, when those things happened, I guess this is the
37:11
path that you go down. When sometimes people Branch off
37:18
and take their lives, this is the path.
37:20
They went down and they go through stages and you know, one
37:24
of my housemates explained how the oppression Works to me.
37:29
And it really helped me to understand much more about the
37:34
condition and and why it's so important to check on everyone?
37:39
Check them all your friends, your family all times.
37:43
Make sure they're doing well, don't just ask You know the
37:46
health work all that shit. Ask like how they're doing like
37:50
really do it, you know. Just find out. uh sorry I didn't
37:59
really want to get so dark with this but I mean at the end of
38:05
the day, that's what life is. It's the good and the bad, isn't
38:08
it? You've, you can't avoid the bad.
38:11
Some people won't spend their entire lives running away from
38:14
the negative things about life, but It's like you can young you
38:18
know, you got to accept the bad embrace the good.
38:22
It makes sense in my head. But yeah, but just going back to
38:25
that point about appreciation. I mean, When I talk about the
38:30
little things, I mean just like little moments.
38:32
You get to spend with friends and family appreciation.
38:36
Appreciating nature enjoying a good meal you know, sometimes I
38:40
just sit there and I'm just grateful to have food on my
38:43
plate. You know, I remember one time I
38:46
was sitting with my ex's, family and her father I'll keep this
38:55
private bit. Basically, he'd been through
38:58
some things. Let's put it that way.
39:00
He did. Deeds been through some pretty
39:02
difficult times in his life and he's a very peaceful Zen, kind
39:07
of guy now and it blows me away when I think about everything
39:11
that you went through and you know how he's come through that
39:15
in these at this point but I guess it really does come to
39:17
down to choice. You can choose to pursue that
39:20
life if you really want it, but it is hard to get that special.
39:24
You had traumatic experiences in the past.
39:27
I remember one evening we were sitting eating dinner and I ate
39:35
half of my meal, I wasn't very hungry for some reason and he
39:39
stopped eating. And he looked at me in the eyes,
39:42
he wasn't annoyed, but there is kind of, like a look of how can
39:50
I put it? It was a look as, though, to
39:56
say, what are you doing? In a very calculated way, but it
40:02
wasn't meant to be mean, it was just kind of like what you've
40:05
stopped that kind of thing. But I immediately knew I'd
40:10
messed up. I stopped eating and he said
40:16
What are you doing? You're not hungry and I said no,
40:19
I'm quite full and he said you should eat.
40:24
You never know when your next meal is coming.
40:27
And that just hit me right there.
40:29
I was like oh wow because I knew exactly what he meant like.
40:32
Yeah it's true. You know you can't always expect
40:36
things to happen in life. Expectation is an enemy.
40:41
You know, you'll be disappointed and sometimes things get taken
40:45
away from you which is all the more reason to be appreciative
40:48
of what you have. But the way he said that hit me
40:52
on a deeper level, I understood, this is a man who's had times in
40:55
his life, where maybe he didn't. Of those things.
40:58
And here, I am sitting there with the choice of you know,
41:02
whether or not to eat this, but for some, it's a choice of what,
41:06
there isn't, a choice, you just don't have anything, you know.
41:10
So, I tried to be as appreciative as a can of
41:14
everything that I have small successes are making life, but
41:18
more importantly, I tried to be appreciative of the people in my
41:22
life and enjoy them. As much as I can, if that makes
41:27
sense. But yeah, I returned to Twitch
41:33
last year. After Alum, kind of absence, I
41:39
went from, I started on Twitch. I start Twitch streaming in,
41:44
March 20, 20 on the On the advice of a friend and he was
41:49
right. It worked.
41:52
But it didn't work straight away.
41:55
What I learned is that you have to build a community elsewhere,
41:58
and bring it onto the platform and then you can start building
42:02
from there. But you have to have an existing
42:04
call audience from somewhere. I know people that have built an
42:07
audience on Twitch from scratch, but it's a lot harder to do that
42:13
and that's what I did. I built up a little community on
42:15
Tick-Tock. I've got banned from Live
42:17
streaming on Tick Tock, everyone knows that story so I won't go
42:20
into that but it left me wondering where to go I wanted
42:25
to keep doing live streaming of there was an expectation from my
42:28
community to continue doing that because they received a lot of
42:31
enjoyment from it. So we went to Instagram for a
42:34
while and it worked but it wasn't the same because we won't
42:37
ever able to reach new people. I don't know why I think
42:40
Instagram just prevents you from being seen by new people.
42:45
See you only get seen by existing.
42:47
Ting people that follow you. Which is fine but kind of sucks
42:52
because I'm always trying to grow and reach new people but
42:55
then I received a lot of comments from my audience
42:57
telling me that the quality wasn't so good.
42:59
Sometimes, the image and sound was off that they were just
43:03
different issues with it. So then I thought about
43:06
returning to Twitch because not only did I know it would be
43:11
better quality but also I actually figured out that you
43:15
could stream on your phone Which shows how out of touch?
43:20
I am with technology, really, I didn't know that, but it's not
43:23
like I grew up with technology or anything, but yeah, I found
43:28
that out and then I was like, oh, this is, this is clearly the
43:31
right move and lo and behold we made Twitter affiliate within a
43:35
week when it is quite funny. Because I remember when I first
43:39
started streaming on Twitch, I was trying for, like, six seven
43:42
months to try and get affiliate and also close by never made it.
43:46
And then soon as Return to the platform and make it in a week.
43:52
It's just funny, sometimes you just gotta laugh at life.
43:56
It's hilarious. Anyway, the bigger realization I
44:02
think, is that I think? I realized this is a better fit.
44:08
It makes sense because this is a platform built for streaming
44:13
building communities. And that's exactly what I want
44:15
to do is build a community of people who just want to kind of
44:19
come to a nice safe space and just enjoy having a chat and
44:23
learning and growing together and having good times and Good
44:26
Vibes, you know, and that's kind of what my live streams were all
44:29
about. I never envisioned.
44:33
The I would create that, I'll be honest, I didn't actually have a
44:36
plan, surprise surprise coming into that, I just kind of
44:41
thought. Okay, I'll just create this live
44:46
streaming platform, Concepts idea in my head, I'll just do it
44:51
and then I'll just work on it over time and that's what I have
44:54
done. But throughout that time, I've
44:58
built a community where the people of that Community, now,
45:01
interact with each other, which is amazing.
45:02
They've made friends and stuff, which is pretty cool and they
45:06
support each other and everyone's reported of each
45:09
other's lives and projects and stuff and that all came about.
45:13
Because one day, I decided to just turn my camera on and start
45:18
showing up. It's kind of mind-blowing to
45:21
think about sometimes but I'm grateful for it.
45:24
So thank you for everyone. I watched the live streams and
45:28
also, who's listened to the podcast?
45:30
I know that there's many people that watch the live streams and
45:36
also listen to the podcast. And there's a lot of people, I
45:38
know that also don't go to the live streams, but do listen to
45:42
the podcasts and watch my video. So thank you to you to.
45:46
You are part of that Community, the community doesn't just exist
45:48
on livestreams. It exists on all the channels
45:52
that I have online. So thank you to all of you.
45:55
You. Yeah.
46:01
I could talk about covid in the UK but it just doesn't feel
46:04
appropriate. Yeah, I wrote it down on my show
46:06
notes today, and it's just like really after all of that
46:10
introspection and reflection. We're going to just talk about
46:12
because conservatives been douchebags.
46:15
I mean, what could we do a whole episode on that?
46:21
Screw it. Let's just, let's talk about
46:26
this here. And I'm freestyling here.
46:29
So I hope I don't just Ramble On.
46:34
I have many goals. Sir, this year.
46:39
Last year, I wanted to get to 1000 subscribers on YouTube.
46:45
And I didn't reach that guy didn't make that goal, but I did
46:50
grow my other channels. I did get to 29,000 on Tick
46:54
Tock, you know, I I kept the podcast going.
46:59
Yeah, I didn't think I'd get past 50 episodes, let alone 125
47:07
I guess a big thing that I've learned is to not focus on
47:11
numbers so much. Like all the bloody time, you
47:14
know, numbers are important, they help you to, to monitor
47:18
analyze reflects and figure out what to do next.
47:21
But if that's the only thing you're thinking about, I think
47:25
it can. Negatively affect what you're
47:28
doing. Because your focus is just on
47:32
getting views and then that might actually in turn affect
47:35
the type of content, you put out because your obsession is with
47:39
just reaching people as opposed to building a brand, which is
47:43
what I'm trying to do. And that's also why in the
47:45
beginning, I said about how I turn down things occasionally
47:48
because I think if you present yourself as one thing and then
47:53
you start doing other stuff that doesn't really fit with who you
47:56
are. And, you know this, Person that
48:00
you've. So presented to the world.
48:03
I think that can be distracting and can kind of push people away
48:06
in a, in a sense. My hand if you want to call it,
48:11
that is To try to present me in the most authentic way possible,
48:18
like a, my, this animated and energetic all the time.
48:22
Now, of course, I'm not, but this is still me though, if you
48:26
see me in a conversation with someone and I'm, you know, In
48:31
real life, if I was really into that conversation, this would be
48:35
how I would be I'd be quite energetic and invested in that
48:38
conversation. But the reality is we're not all
48:41
this animated 24/7. And I realized that but you have
48:44
to turn up the dial a little bit for the camera, you know?
48:47
So it's it was always how could I be as authentic as possible to
48:52
you and also be entertaining. That's the mindset I tried to
48:56
have with everything that I do, whether or not that's good or
48:59
not. That's up to you the listener,
49:02
the view of the Watcher. But for me, it makes sense in my
49:06
head. So yeah, that's how I what I try
49:09
to do. But yeah, I keep that aggressive
49:12
goals for this year goals for 2020 to.
49:14
Well, I want to get into acting properly.
49:19
I've done acting before, but I want to try and get some acting
49:22
roles. Get some voice acting roles, get
49:24
some on screen acting roles something.
49:26
Anything I want to get into acting, I want to Release my
49:31
records this year, my EP or an album or something.
49:36
I am trying to save money and and stuff but it's hard.
49:39
There's a lot of things. Making that difficult, but I'm
49:45
thinking more clearly. When it comes to these things,
49:48
I've plenty of songs to record. It's just a matter of when and
49:51
how much that's the deal. That's a big goal of mine and I
49:57
suppose the other goal is that I would like to get sponsors for
50:02
the podcast and also, baby some sponsorship opportunities on
50:10
Tick-Tock or something like that because I've had some offers but
50:13
it just didn't work out and fortunately, but I think that
50:17
would be like that would help me to recognize that.
50:22
Okay, we're now kind of reaching a new level of success because
50:26
now I'm earning money from it. Like I don't earn any money from
50:29
anything. I do online at all, not even
50:32
twitch. There's a rule on Twitch that
50:35
you have to reach a threshold of like hundred dollars in order to
50:38
cash out. And I have a about a handful of
50:41
people that subscribe to me and support me on Twitch.
50:44
Thank you so much. But yeah, I ain't seeing any of
50:46
that money. Probably not for a long.
50:49
Time. But that's fine.
50:52
I don't do any of these things to earn money.
50:55
Like I would love to earn money from the podcast, Tick-Tock what
51:00
everything else I do online. But I realize it's not quite the
51:04
right time yet. And also, I'm just looking for
51:08
what I want to be a professional actor and musician, and
51:12
presenter of sorts, you know. Those are the three things I
51:15
really want to do with my life. And these things I do online.
51:20
Help me to achieve that but it's a road, it's not a race.
51:26
I don't know. How long is this going to take?
51:29
All I know is that I'm going to work as hard as I possibly can
51:33
to make it happen. And work as hard as I can to
51:38
make all of you happy and smile and feel entertained.
51:45
So with that, I want to say a massive.
51:48
Thank you. Happy New Year and I shall see
51:52
you in the next episode. Thank you very much for watching
51:56
for listening. Peace out in the next one.