Latest / Revolution of Purpose Podcast / ROP Solo Episode 41 You Don't Have to Prove Anything

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ROP Solo Episode 41 You Don't Have to Prove Anything · Revolution of Purpose Podcast

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What if you stopped asking every experience in your business to
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prove whether you're going to be successful? One person says yes
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and you believe in your future. Someone else says no and suddenly you're questioning
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the whole business. That is a lot of power to give a single conversation.
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Today we're talking about how to pursue your goals with confidence,
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how to review your results with clarity, and to stop putting your worth
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on the line every time you take a step forward. Welcome to
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the Revolution of Purpose podcast. I'm your host, John Streit, and each
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week we bring you conversations with thought leaders, entrepreneurs,
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and individuals who have aligned their life with purpose
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and created extraordinary results. So I'm gonna live through it and accept it
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radically with grace and hope and love. I mean,
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I would be proud to be in this council. It was an honor. I had
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so much fun. Tune in every Monday for the Revolution of Purpose solo show
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and every Thursday for Revolution of Purpose Conversations.
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Welcome back to the Revolution of Purpose podcast. I'm John Streit, and I
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am so glad you're here. If you own a business or lead a team,
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maybe you work in sales or in real estate, maybe you have a dream that
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you're actively building. You know that pressure to succeed.
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You have a vision, you're investing time, energy, and money into
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it. You want your work to make a difference and you want it to produce
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results. And of course you do, that's natural.
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But there is a pattern that can make building that dream much heavier
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than it needs to be. You begin treating every result as evidence for
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or against yourself. You have a productive conversation and then you
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start to think, yes, this is working. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
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And then suddenly you have a bad conversation. Someone doesn't respond to the message
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that you brought them and a potential client decides to
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wait, or they just say no. Something you were counting on
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really falls through and makes you start to question yourself.
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You're asking, am I really capable of this? Am I fooling myself?
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Was this vision ever right for me? Am I good enough?
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Should I be further along? Notice how quickly that conversation
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changes. You started with a business situation, and now suddenly
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you're questioning yourself as a person, wondering if your
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whole entire vision was some type of lie, some type of
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myth you cooked up. And if you do that often enough, your confidence
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becomes dependent on what happened most recently.
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Now, that's an exhausting way to pursue a meaningful goal. Because business
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includes uncertainty. People will make decisions on their own
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timelines. Some ideas need adjusting. Some opportunities develop
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slowly, and some things just simply don't work out. You need
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to be able to navigate those experiences without having to rebuild your
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belief in yourself every single time. And that begins with
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understanding this: you, my friend, are already
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worthy. You do not need someone else to validate or prove
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that for you. Your next client does not create your worth.
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Your next achievement does not make you deserving of respect, and an unsuccessful
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attempt does not remove the gifts, the skills, the experience,
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or the ability that you brought into this vision. You can
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want better results while standing securely in who you
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are and your worth. In fact, that is a much
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stronger place to build from. There was a moment while preparing to travel
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across the country several years ago on one of my first speaking and coaching trips
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that brought this distinction into focus for me. There were people to meet,
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there were conversations to have, there were opportunities to explore, and naturally
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I wanted that investment of time and energy to produce something meaningful.
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But beneath that practical question of how can I make the most of
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this was another question: What does this need to prove about me?
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Well, that other question revealed the extra weight that I was placing
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on the experience. I was asking conversations and opportunities
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to confirm my identity as a business owner. And the shift was recognizing
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that I had a different reason to be there. I had something to contribute.
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I had experience to share. I had people to listen to. I had
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work that could help someone. I had my voice that I knew
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I was called to use. And that distinction is the lesson that
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I want you to take into your own opportunities. I'm now preparing for another
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trip tomorrow where I leave to go across the country. When you watch this on
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Monday, I will already be in Los Angeles and I will be speaking and I
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will be meeting with people. And this time it's a whole different experience
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than that first time I went, because this time I realize I'm not going
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out there trying to get someone to validate me or my voice or my vision.
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I'm going out there to contribute, to serve, to shine
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my light for those who need to find it. My friends, when you enter a
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room focused on what you can contribute, you have a clear purpose before
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anyone even responds. You can prepare well,
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ask thoughtful questions, speak confidently about what you do,
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recognize a need, and make an invitation. The value
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of how you show up is no longer waiting on someone else's approval.
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Think about your own business. When you speak with a potential client,
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what are you asking that conversation to do? Are you discovering whether
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you can help them, or are you asking them to reassure you that
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you're good enough? Those can look similar from the outside, but they feel
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very different on the inside. If you need their yes to
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feel validated, it becomes harder to listen freely.
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You might overexplain yourself. You may hesitate to make a clear offer.
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You may start trying to convince someone before you even understand
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what they need. But when you know the value of your work,
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You can be present. You can say, based on what you shared, I believe I
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can help you. And here's what I can do. This is what that would look
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like. Then you can give that person room to decide. You can
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care deeply about the outcome without making their decision
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responsible for your confidence. That is a skill worth
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developing, whether you own a business in sales, whether you
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own a real estate brokerage, whether you are a real estate agent, whether you're in
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the music industry, the arts industry, no matter what you're in.
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Giving people the space to make the decision and knowing
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that that decision does not dictate how worthy you are to be living
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your dream is vitally important. This is a skill
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worth developing, and it brings us to something else: how you respond
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when things do not go the way that you want them to. I want you
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to give— I want to give you a phrase to remember: review instead of judge.
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Review instead of judge. When an experience disappoints
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you, review it. What happened? What did you expect? What worked?
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What didn't work? What needs your attention? Those questions help you
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make a decision. Judgment, however, that sounds different.
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Your inner voice gets really harsh with yourself. I always mess
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this up. I'm terrible at this. Nothing ever works out for me. You might
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call that being honest with yourself. You may even call that coaching yourself or trying
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to kick yourself in the tail and encourage yourself, but How
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useful is that type of talk really? What specific action
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does I'm terrible at this help you take? Compare that
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with maybe I didn't ask enough questions to understand what that person needed.
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Maybe I didn't listen to them fully enough. Now you have something
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you can work with, or I waited too long to follow up. And you know
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what? I can accept that and I can change it. Or I've been spending time
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getting ready because I'm uncomfortable making the actual invitation.
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And so I just hesitated. That's an honest observation.
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That's a review instead of a judgment, and it gives you a place to begin.
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Reviewing your behavior requires responsibility, but condemning
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yourself, that often keeps you stuck in the feeling of failure
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without helping you ever improve. And this applies to a
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slip in your own commitments too. Maybe you plan to make outreach every day
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this week and you just missed a couple of days, and a review would say,
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well, what interrupted the plan? Did I protect the time? Was my commitment
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clear? What will I do tomorrow? But judgment turns those
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2 missed days into an identity. I'm inconsistent
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and I never follow through. Please pardon this interruption to your podcast
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episode. This will not take but a minute. Before we continue, I want to ask
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you something. Do you know that you're capable of more, but your life right now
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just isn't fully reflecting the person you know you can become?
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Then I want to personally invite you to schedule a Shift Mindset call with
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me. This Shift Mindset experience is something that I created to
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help you identify one decision that you can make that will shift
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your life. And when I say that this is a call with me, I mean
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exactly that. This is a live one-on-one personal
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call between you and I. This is not prerecorded. This is not
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a member of my team. It is you and I having a real coaching conversation
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about your life, and it does not cost you any money.
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It is a 45-minute exchange of time. I'll give you 30 minutes of my
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best mindset coaching to help you identify a decision that will create a real
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shift in your life. And in exchange, I just ask that you give me about
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15 minutes to show you the coaching experiences that I offer.
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There's no obligation. But there is an opportunity to create
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a meaningful shift in your life just from this call. You can schedule
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yours today at johnstreet.org. Just click on the
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button that says schedule your shift call. And also, if this podcast
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is helping you, please subscribe. Please like and please share it.
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Every time you do that, every time you engage, you are helping to spread this
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message and inspire someone else to create their best
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life through also living their own revolution of purpose. Now let's
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get you back to the Revolution of Purpose podcast. Be careful
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what you rehearse about yourself. Maybe it's something that you're
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doing for your own well-being. You're going to meditate every morning, and then
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you miss that meditation, you oversleep, and then the rest of the day I
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never follow through for myself. I can't believe it. Why did I think I would
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do that? You know, you can pause in the middle of the day, turn off
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your phone for 10 minutes, and then meditate. But we have such a black and
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white, all or nothing thinking that we're like, well, maybe I'll do it tomorrow.
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I'll try the next morning. My friends, I just want you to give yourself the
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same type of grace that you would give anyone that you cared about.
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And when things are challenging, when things don't go the way they want them,
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even if there are times that you let down yourself on your own commitments,
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Don't spend the rest of the time punishing yourself before you're allowed to begin
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again. Give yourself grace. And now we also need
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to look at the other side of this pattern because positive results can become a
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trap too. And I know that may sound odd to you, but listen to this
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for a minute. Well, you know, if you're in sales, if you're in real estate,
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you know, if you land a client that you really wanted,
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you're like, finally, I knew I could do this. And you celebrate that
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client, you enjoy the success. You receive the income with gratitude,
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but pay attention to the word, I finally did this.
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Did that person's decision suddenly give you the ability that you
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didn't have before they made it? Or did the result give you the evidence that
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a particular message or relationship offer came together?
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You want to understand what works so that you can build on it. If every
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success has to prove that you are capable, then you
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may feel compelled to keep producing another success just to
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hold on to that feeling. The celebration gets shorter and the pressure
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returns faster. You hit one goal and immediately the next one becomes the condition
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for feeling secure. So a lot of you know I'm from Alabama,
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and being born and raised in Alabama means that I learned
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to love college football growing up. I was an Alabama Crimson Tide
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fan and I still am. And so starting around 2007,
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we went on what became an amazing, like, dynasty run
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with the University of Alabama, and our head coach was named Nick Saban. And so
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Nick Saban would tell his teams after a victory, you had 24
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hours to celebrate that victory. You had 24 hours to
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enjoy it, to bask in the glory of being a winning college
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football player in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. But also,
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if they lost that game on Saturday, if they lost that game, no matter
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how big or how small, they only had 24 hours to lick their wounds.
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They had 24 hours to look back and be sad.
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And just be like, man, I wish we had won that game and all the
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things that come with that horrible feeling of defeat. But then after the 24 hours,
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whether it was a win or a loss, he then had them review their
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film. He then had them look at how they played and see
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what, what changes they could make, see what things they did
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well and what things that they could improve. And that right there is
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the mind of a champion. They were not deciding that they were worth being
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a good football player just because of if they won or lost.
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They knew they had the skill. They knew they had the coaching. They knew they
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had everything. They were equipped to be winners. They just
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sometimes made mistakes. So they would, instead of judge, they would review.
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And I think it's so important for us to realize that we have got
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to stay out of that judgment mindset of ourselves. We have got to decide
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that we are going to review when things don't go the way that we want
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them to. And even when things are amazing, we're going to be
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thankful for the kudos that we receive, but we're not going to let
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those validate us either. We have to know who
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we are. We have to know that our business is worth pursuing. Our dreams
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are worth accomplishing, that we can do it. If God,
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the universe, your higher power has given you the purpose
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inside you, has given you the desire in your heart, then they are giving
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you the design that you need to make that desire reality.
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You can recognize when a conversation needs more time. You can
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see when an approach needs adjusting. You can take a break and return with a
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clearer mind. You can follow through on an opportunity without trying to control
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the other person. Ask yourself, what does
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this situation actually require from me? And sometimes it
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requires more effort or better questions or better patience or just listening.
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Sometimes it requires you to just be and come back
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to it later and think, you know what, that didn't go the way I wanted,
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but I know that I am supported. And look what I already
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have. Look what I've already accomplished. Don't let a no
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tell you that you're not worth following this dream. And don't let a yes
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tell you that you are worth it. Know that you know
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that you know that you are, no matter what you hear from someone else.
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Just remember, you get to decide that you are not going to let
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anyone else validate you, show you that you're worthy, or show you
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that you're not worthy. You are already equipped. You have everything
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within you that you need. And you know what? Whatever things you
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don't see in front of you now, those doors are going to open because you
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were so supported by the universe to flow in your purpose. I hope
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that this really resonated with you today. And, you know, it really
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means a lot to me, so many people that watch this podcast. But if you're
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not subscribed, will you please hit that subscribe button? Please hit that bell if
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you're on YouTube watching, or if you're listening to this on your favorite podcast
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app, please follow the episode. That would mean so much to me. Thank you so
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much for tuning in this week. And remember, keep flowing in and
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following your own revolution of purpose.
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Thank you so much for spending this time with me today. If this episode
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encouraged you, if it challenged you, or if it helped you see your life
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a little bit differently, would you do me a favor? Subscribe to the podcast,
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leave a rating or review, and share this episode with someone who
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needs to hear it. Every share helps us reach more people who are
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searching for hope, purpose, and a life of greater meaning.
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And if you're ready to stop wondering what's next and start living with
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greater clarity and purpose in your own life, I would love to meet with
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you personally. Visit johnstreet.org right now to
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schedule your complimentary live purpose and clarity call with me.
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Until next time, remember, your purpose is not something you
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find. It is something you awaken to, and then you
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choose to live it. Go make today another step in your
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own revolution of purpose.