Latest / The SmallBizChat with Melinda Emerson / Finding Success in Love and Business with Charreah Jackson

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Finding Success in Love and Business with Charreah Jackson · The SmallBizChat with Melinda Emerson

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  3, 10, 1, 0, ignition, liftoff,
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  Ending small business failure.
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  Welcome to the Small Biz Chat podcast with a number 1 small business expert Melinda Emerson.
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  Bolinda's goal is to end small business failure, and she'll give you the information
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  you need to succeed and live the life you've dream of.
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  Now here's the small biz lady herself.
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  Melinda Everson.
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  Hi, everybody.
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  I'm Elaine Emerson, the small biz lady, and I wanna invite you to enter the small biz chat
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  podcast giveaway contest for the next 30 days starting today You'll have the chance to win
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  amazing prizes if you subscribe to the podcast.
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  All you need to do is take a screenshot after you subscribe to the small fish head podcast
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  and tag me small fish lady on Twitter or Instagram.
• 0:53
  Once a week, I'll select a winner, and you have a chance to win one of my autograph books
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  become your own boss in 12 months or fix your business, or you might even get a chance to win
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  one of my limited edition small business chat podcast t shirts.
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  Don't delay.
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  Subscribe to the Small Bridge Chat podcast today.
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  Hi, everyone, and welcome back to Small Fish channel.
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  I am so excited to talk to my next guest Sarea Jackson.
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  She is the author of this book, and you guys can't see it.
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  It is boss broad, and it's blowing up everywhere.
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  I'm so excited that we were able to even get on her Calendar to get her here tonight.
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  She is the relationship and editor for Essence magazine, and she inspires more than 13 million
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  women who subscribe to SSENSE every single month, and now she has written this amazing
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  book about how to be a boss bride, a powerful woman's playbook for love and success.
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  I have my copy, and I gotta tell you guys This is a good book, and I I am very divorced
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  single.
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  I'm a mom.
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  Like, look, this book actually even helped me, so I've listened.
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  Y'all need to get on this.
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  Boss bride, it's amazing.
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  So I I, you know, Trina, there is so much to talk about.
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  I want to jump right in because, listen, it's hard out here for bullshit.
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  It's hard.
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  I I need you to inspire us You must have helped, girl.
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  Okay.
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  So I listen.
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  It is hard to have a great business and a great partner, but you we should not give up hope and
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  I'll tell me why.
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  First of all, thank you.
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  It's such an honor.
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  I'm a I'm a small biz chat alum and family.
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  And so it's so good to be here with you live tonight.
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  And as you said, one of the reasons I wrote the book was for women like you, women who were
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  killing it in their careers who really were setting this world on fire and was were
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  wondering if it was possible, would I have to sacrifice the desire of my heart to have the
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  sexy career that I want.
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  And so I set out to answer the questions for that I had.
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  And so, absolutely, it's possible.
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  This, I gathered all the evidence that, yes, this hospital to be the phenomenal small biz
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  lady that you are and so many of your audience are and also know there's space in your life to
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  have that great love.
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  It will require us to be teach it, it will require us to be intentional just as we are in
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  our businesses.
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  And what I did found is a lot of those strategies that work to have success in your
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  business, you could bring some of those habits into your personal life.
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  Alright.
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  Well, look, look, let's jump in here because I I know that there are a lot of women, business
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  owners, and business owners, period, that are divorced.
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  So I I need you to you know, and and the and some of the most successful business women in
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  my note never got married at all.
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  So Yes.
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  I I I need you to help me understand.
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  A sec because you're saying and it's funny.
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  That was one of the things that I was seeing as well.
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  But once I realized, you know, 6 big secrets of 6 figure women really broke down a lot of women
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  that book talked about.
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  It went two ways.
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  Right?
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  You either either had married well, and you had someone who's your number 1 cheerleader or the
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  reverse.
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  So the research does show that the person who you decide to partner with absolutely will
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  impact your professional success.
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  The problem is We've been trained around businesses.
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  We have resources like this for our business.
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  We're not often being as intentional and educated to make decisions so that you don't
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  have so that you can be in a a relationship that forwards your business and doesn't take
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  away.
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  And so that reality is true, but as you know, I'm I definitely saw this as kidsman.
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  I didn't know that Bumble will this would be the partner.
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  I love Bumble.
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  I used Bumble.
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  I spoke at Bumble Southwest a bit down in Austin this year.
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  And one of the things they bring to the forefront is the impact of having the right
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  people, but to also give yourself permission to be in in environments with the type of quality
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  person you deserve.
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  So one of the things that particularly for your boss chicks, I need you when it comes to your
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  personal life not to act like you're not the boss chick that you are.
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  And so the same way you're leveling up professionally, we have to level up, not your
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  dating pool, but your single seat.
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  So, yeah, it might be a little bit more difficult for a professional one that you find
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  that right person, but part of my job is to make sure you're expanding your circle so you
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  can meet quality person.
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  Because if you got a $1,000,000 in the bank for your business, if you have corporate contacts,
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  you've already broken the norm.
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  You've already done the sort of the in incredible amazing.
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  So it's not so much to ask that there'd be one person on this planet of seven billion people
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  that you could have some compatibility.
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  Alright, Sherry.
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  Alright.
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  Now, listen.
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  You say that there are 3 types of relationships for balls chicks.
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  Tell us what we are.
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  Yeah.
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  And that was one of the things.
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  The reality is I talk about there's 3 types of common relationships because this book is not
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  just me talking.
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  I interview more than a 100 working women who were having professional success, women I
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  admired, who also had healthy relationships.
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  And I wanted to know, it's working for you.
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  What can we learn from your And what I found from studying their relationships, there are 3
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  common types of relationships for a powerful professional learning.
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  The first is a companion.
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  I found a lot of women look at Oprah and statement.
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  They're not necessarily partners in her business.
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  You don't see him popping up on own.
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  He's heard from payments.
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  And he makes sure that when she's off the clock, when she's not running a network, then
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  she has someone to talk to and engage with someone to go to jailers.
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  And then there's a partnership.
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  That's Michelle and Barack Obama.
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  You see them.
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  We're running for basically, that was their presidency, where you see that they're all in,
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  not just on a personal level, but what's happening for you especially, I'm involved with
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  that as well.
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  And it's more of an equality and a more integration within that relationship.
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  And the 3rd relationship after you have someone who want a companion, Some people wanna partner
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  and some want a provider.
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  And this is when there's one partner, when there's one person in that relationship who
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  really takes on the responsibility for that unit.
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  Often it's financially, but they're really sort of the leader guide in where that union goes.
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  Often, traditionally, it has been the men, but we are seeing women who are comfortable being
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  in a provider role and taking that on in their relationship.
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  And so those per is, but it's important that you a get clear on what you desire because some
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  women want more than a campaign.
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  You want someone who's coming you come home, what happened with your client, and someone
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  will like, once I'm home, I don't I wanna keep things separate.
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  And so you have to be clear on that.
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  Because it will dictate how you date.
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  Alright.
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  So now you're saying if I know that I want a partner, you're saying that there are hot spots
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  to me.
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  Yes.
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  You're supportive.
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  Not.
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  It's literally.
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  Let me look at
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  this.
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  Okay.
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  I need you to tell us.
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  Where did There's so many options.
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  With the Home Depot and pretend like, I don't know where the stuff is.
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  What what's not?
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  You know, it's well, you know, there's one thing.
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  The hot spots you wanna check out, and you talk about something else is checking your
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  checklist.
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  So for my professional women, particularly if you're single and ready to really attract love
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  and a higher love with check your checklist.
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  That's in chapter 3.
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  But later in chapter 3, which is called date like a pro, I give you my hotspots for it as a
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  boss gradator.
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  And so some of those hotspots actually bumble.
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  I've gone on 1st dates in Paris.
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  I've gone on 1st date in South Africa.
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  All thanks to Bumble.
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  And so I'm definitely pro the app but any type of digital platform, MCGlyde met her husband on
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  on a online site.
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  Like, you wanna be open because the thing about online dating is they're giving you a chance to
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  be in the single seat while you're asleep.
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  And so particularly if you're busy, you wanna make sure you're keeping your options open.
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  Now particularly for women like you, Melinda, my busy daddy women travel hubs.
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  And so you really wanna up level and get that get your your your gold card.
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  Get some take advantage of traveling, getting those lounges, and meet some incredible people.
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  Also, conferences, go to hotel bars, go to the best hotel bar in your town.
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  You often meet people who are traveling, because so much of this conversation is not
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  just about who you know.
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  It's about who they know.
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  So even when you meet someone, you're like, oh, he's not type and he's a little shorter.
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  He lives in Cincinnati.
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  So what?
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  You don't love his cousin as your husband.
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  Stay open and let people know that what you're looking
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  I love it.
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  I love it.
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  Alright.
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  Now give me your top 3 tips for bread winning wives.
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  Like, if you Yes.
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  First of all, you have to know that you are in the you are in almost whether the we're really
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  at the tipping point for that to be a majority.
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  More than 40% of American households have a female breadwinner.
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  So the first thing you have to do as a female breadwinner is embrace your reality.
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  You have nothing to be ashamed about and you're a part of really a new frontier for women.
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  And it is not a bad thing.
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  The second thing you have to do as a female breadwinner is you really have to resist other
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  people's opinions.
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  So often the stress that female Brad Winters still is not from their partner.
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  It's from everybody else.
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  What your mom or what his cousin, all these other voices who are not a part of your union.
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  So if they don't have a vote, if they're not putting money in that household, they don't
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  have conversations.
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  So you really have to block that out.
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  And one of the 3rd and most critical things you have to do with a female breadwinner is you
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  really didn't have to discuss and identify your roles.
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  Because one of the things I found interviewing so many powerful women who were breadwinners
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  was the the myth that just because they were making more money or there was success school
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  in their career didn't mean when they went home, they wanted to run everything at home,
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  but your partner might not automatically know that.
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  So you wanna have those conversations as a unit and also make sure that you're pulling your
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  resources because once you decide to get married, it's not just about what you make, but
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  it's really the unit's money.
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  I love it.
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  I love it.
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  You are dropping so many gems here, but I gotta put a pin in it because we gotta go to
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  commercial break.
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  But when we come back, we're gonna be talking about both chicks, babies, bursting drum.
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  Oh, that stuff's so sweet.
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  And we're gonna be right back.
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  My new book fixture business is really about encouraging people to take back control of
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  their business and change how their businesses is run.
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  It's not okay to skip paychecks.
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  It's not okay to never feel like you can take a vacation, and it's also not okay not know how
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  much profit you've made in your business until your taxes are done.
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  I really want business owners to stop letting their businesses be runaway trained.
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  I've written this book to teach people processes and systems to help them run their
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  businesses intentionally.
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  My goal is to help existing entrepreneurs create a business that allows them to live
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  their dream life.
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  Hi.
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  I'm Melinda Emerson small biz lady.
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  And we are back with small biz chat.
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  We are talking with Sharia Jackson, and we are talking about being the boss, babies, and birth
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  control oh my.
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  Ms.
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  Shereen, you dropped some real pearls on us just a minute ago, but now I want you to talk
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  to our audience you know, who might not be the type that are, you know, running these well
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  funded businesses.
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  If you're running a boot strapped business, which means you have self funded it.
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  And there there's not maybe necessarily money for nannies and all kinds of other stuff.
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  How do you Start a family while you're running a startup business.
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  How do you do that?
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  How do you manage that?
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  I love that you ask that question.
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  And I I it was such an important topic that I put an entire chapter in the book chapter 7.
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  It's called 10 to your ticking clock.
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  And your sex drive because the reality is to be a professional woman, the best years for you
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  often to grow your business are also some of your best years to conceived if you choose to
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  have a children.
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  And so I am definitely a proud feminist, but there's no road or there's no way around the
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  reality that our fertility finery.
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  And so with that being the case, for a lot of women who I interviewed, it was really about
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  managing your resources and owning that reality.
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  And so I talk about X reason for women who are like, I really don't wanna do it right now.
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  Explore your options.
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  There are our teams available.
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  And if you are one who's like, I do wanna at this new role of being a mother while also
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  scaling my business know that it will require you to have the highest levels of support.
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  And so what we know, and I'm so happy for the work you do is all around reminding small
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  business owners that they need a team.
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  And when it comes to women and you do wanna add that marriage at that role of being a mother,
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  you definitely have to be supported at a higher level.
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  You have to leverage every resource available to you because you do have rights within the
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  corporate sector.
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  And as you go out into your own business, you do have the ability to tap into some incredible
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  resources.
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  So you definitely wanna have your community.
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  Well, I I hear you.
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  I appreciate that, but listen.
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  I was 26 when I started my first business.
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  I got married when I was 27, but I didn't have my son until I was 33.
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  I waited 5 years to have my son because I had another baby that had all of my attention, and
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  it was my business.
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  So now it's been 19 years that I've been in business, but look.
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  And when I turned 32 and got pregnant with my son, I ended up with a harvest pregnancy on bed
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  rest.
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  And we almost lost everything that year because my family's entire income came out of my
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  business.
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  So it's no small thing to be running a business and then all of a sudden, you know, find
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  yourself pregnant.
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  And so I really wanna give some real thought to, you know, what kinds of support systems do
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  you need to have in place when you, you know, pull the trigger or sometimes the trigger gets
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  pulled for you.
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  You know, you never know.
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  Absolutely.
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  And I love that.
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  You know, one of the resources I'm a student of yours.
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  So in your become your all boss in 12 months in your in your digital online course portion.
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  You talk about you take us through that lifetime piece.
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  And I think that's the critical piece which you're speaking to is we have to incorporate
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  that in your in your life plan because the same year that I'm trying to put this book out I'm
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  not I'm not I I'm not I had planned not to have a baby.
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  And so what we often have where we often lose so much ground is we're planning way more
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  specialty, and then we let our personal lives plan themself.
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  And so I actually have birth control for busy women in the book because there is some
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  incredible options.
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  You're not necessarily a teenager anymore.
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  What you were using in college might not be with commuting your lifestyle now.
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  And so I want women next 4.
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  I an IUD, which would give you, you know, at least 5 years of contraception.
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  So you got one thing you don't have to worry about.
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  Look into the ring.
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  Look into other options.
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  Because to Melinda's point the same way your business baby requires such a high investment.
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  That physical baby requires not even just to find nature, but that timepieces.
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  So I appreciate you for not under emphasizing how important this part of your life is and for
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  women who are thinking about it.
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  Part of my other side is to tell you make sure that if it is something that you do desire that
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  you plan for because I'm I'm telling a lot of women who didn't plan for and then later in
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  life are having that for
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  Yeah.
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  I mean, but there's definitely women who said, you know what?
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  I won't be an awesome Auntie.
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  Right?
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  Yeah.
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  Exactly women who said, I'm not gonna do that.
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  I'm gonna pour it all into my business and find my companion, and we're gonna have a great
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  life, and we're gonna travel.
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  And there is nothing wrong with that.
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  Nothing wrong.
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  And then you can all you always have the right change your mind.
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  I love that holder from the today show just celebrating her birthday.
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  She adopted a baby girl at 52.
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  And so no matter where you are, your dreams can come true.
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  They might come true at different times in different ways, but definitely, to your point,
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  everything is possible, but it's a very personal decision that we wanna be thinking
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  about.
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  Well, I cannot shout out enough your new book Bosch Chase.
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  It is a great read, and it's actually really, really helpful information.
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  So if you're thinking about, you know, your next move career wise, your next move, and
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  you'll love life, check it out.
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  And, Trey, thank you so much.
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  And right now, I have to tell you that you have just inspired all the boss checks out there to
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  know that there is love for them.
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  So you have to believe that's probably that he has a part of you if that's what you want.
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  Alright.
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  So can't wait to see you next time and remember this.
• 16:35
  You're never losing business, either you win or you learn.
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  We'll see you next time.
• 16:42
  Thank you for listening to the Small Biz Chat podcast with Melinda Emerson.
• 16:47
  For more resources and small business success strategies, visit podcast wherever you listen
• 16:55
  to podcast and join us next Wednesday.