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SHIFTHEADS: Inside Copy: I Lost at Poker. I'm Taking Me a Flamingo
Vegas flamingo kidnapping is a sentence that exists now, and the man responsible is Canadian, which honestly tracks. You lose at poker, you walk the casino floor, you enter the habitat, and you leave with a live bird named Peachy under your arm. The search warrant for his hotel room listed feathers, blood samples, and bedding. Peachy needed stitches. Peachy is going to be okay. The man did not think this through.
Meanwhile in Newark, New Jersey, a robber walked into a store, pulled out his phone, opened Google Translate, and typed his demands in English hoping for Spanish. Anyone who has ever…
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