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Borrowed Time: Courage and Gratitude · Fierce Encouragement

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hey there, this is Coach Mark, and you're listening to Fierce Encouragement.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: This podcast is about how we can wake up in our own life before it's too late.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: And I don't have some fancy agenda today, just a raw reflection, because I spent the morning sitting next to a close friend at his final oncology appointment and after years of managing his cancer being really brave, going through radiation and surgeries, some hope and some setbacks he's finally been told that there's no more treatments, no more options, just time and not much of it.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: But you know what?
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: He's calm, he's present, he's still cracking some jokes, but the reality of the whole thing hit me really hard.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: It reminded me again that we're all running out of time, that comfort is a hell of a drug and so many of us myself included right here have been hiding.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: So today's episode isn't about productivity, it's about presence and it's about that kind of courage it takes to stop numbing out and build that gratitude that shows up when life strips away everything that's unnecessary.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: So this one is personal and it's for anyone who knows it's time to get real.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: So let's begin.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Like I said earlier, today I was with a dear friend of mine.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: He's been living with cancer but went to his last appointment with his oncologist and it was strange and I said to him at one point I said, is it weird to kind of lose that doctor in your life Because he's been with you for the last few years and he handled his diagnosis with such bravery and strength years ago?
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: It wasn't like a movie battle or anything that we see, but it was living and honestly, day after day.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: He had some humor, he had some anger, he had a lot of honesty and I walked out of his appointment the other day thinking if that were me, would I be proud of how I'm living right now?
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Would I be ready not just to die but to look back and ask myself if I actually lived?
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: So what does courage really really look like?
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: What does courage really really look like?
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Fierce encouragement?
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: And if you go back to the very first episode, courage is literally the virtue, the heart, if we look at the word etymologically.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: So let's be real.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: What is that heart?
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: What is that courage for us?
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Most of us think that courage maybe looks like, you know, charging up a hill in battle, right, that metaphorical hill in our lives.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: But sometimes it's also just about showing up too.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: So courage is sitting next to your friend and not looking away.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: In those moments, courage is listening when your heart or your mind wants to run away, whether with your kids or your loved ones.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Courage is admitting that you've been distracting yourself with things that might be numbing you out, or things that aren't really playing big, whether it's the alcohol or the TV, the mindless scrolling, or maybe that staying busy without a deep purpose.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: So courage for me lately is facing what's uncomfortable in me and I want to tell you it's really hard.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: It's hard to look at how I avoid some feelings and own what I'm doing Because, honestly, there's so many times where I want to float away rather than feel where I'm at, and I'm asking myself, I'm trying to ask myself more and more what would it mean, like to actually be all in?
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Nelson Mandela said it perfectly, quote courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: And that triumph, I guess, for me.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Maybe I'm expecting a parade, but it's not.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: It is making my bed more often than not, it is opening up my ears and shutting down my mouth when I'm scared, shitless, and it's really about saying well, at least for me now, at this season of my life, I want more from this life, even now, especially now, having the courage to say that to myself, having the courage to say that to myself.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: I wanted to kind of also touch on something that has helped me the last few years and more, and it's gratitude.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: And don't get me wrong, I don't mean this bull crap, Instagram, facebook quotes that you see everywhere, caption crap.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: I mean the real, gritty, almost painful gratitude, kind of like, even though some people might rub us the wrong way, hey, thank God he's still here to laugh with and argue with and thinking of my friend.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: I love him.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: He's a great guy.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: He's also been one of the biggest challengers, the intellectual, challenging me all the time intellectually, and I honestly say thank God he's still here to argue with me and to connect with me.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: And thank God, you know, I have the legs and my eyes still work and I have the body that I can still be here and honestly, thank God, I can still feel that I'm trying to numb out, because that feeling itself is proof that I'm not numb.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: That's when awareness can come online for me.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: So that's the kind of gratitude that kind of appears when we might've assumed we knew everything we wanted, but then those things dissolve right.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: And there's that great quote from Aesop and the fairy tales of old quote gratitude turns what we have into enough.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: But I'll also add this flair to it Gratitude also turns fear into a reverence or sacredness.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: So I'm grateful for the ache in my chest because it means I love someone who matters.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Or I'm grateful I still have time to do the work I put off.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: And ultimately I'm grateful for the reminder, because death always gives the best reminders.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: Here's something I've been reflecting on, that courage and gratitude dance.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: So courage without gratitude just becomes kind of a martyrdom, a sacrifice without meaning or an unknown meaning.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Gratitude without courage can become that avoidance.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: But together, courage and gratitude, they make our life worth living.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: Albert Camus said this beautifully quote In the midst of winter I found there was within me an invincible summer.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: An invincible summer isn't about pretending that things are okay always in our life.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: It's about knowing something inside of us is still alive, that's still fierce and wants to be encouraged, if you will, that's still capable of a presence, even as winter closes in around us.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: We can still find that summertime in our heart and in our mind and then in that gap where we get to choose.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: So this is a call out to you, where we get to choose.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: So this is a call out to you.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: I'll ask you straight up, like I asked myself walking out of the appointment with my friend where are you hiding?
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: Where have you gotten used to living halfway?
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: And, truly, what habits or substances or distractions have you used to soften the sharpness of trying to move towards being more awake and alive?
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: I am not judging you, because I'm right there too, but I'll say this being with my friend today reminded me we don't have forever, and that means you and me, if we're still breathing.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: We have some work to do, some sacred work, some noble work.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: So I'm asking you right now name one fear that's been steering your choices lately.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: Name one thing you're deeply grateful for today, one thing you're deeply grateful for today, and take one small, brave step.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: Reach out, speak up, stop running away and start writing or creating.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Seneca, the great Stoic philosopher, said while we waste our time hesitating and postponing, life is slipping away Unquote.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: So let's, you and me, let's stop hesitating.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening and truly, if this stirred something inside of you, don't let it slip away.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Take one breath, slow down.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: Take one action for yourself today.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: Take one breath, slow down, take one action for yourself today.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Come from that place that matters Because it does.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: Moment by moment, we build our lives up, so you have a chance to keep building that today and share this with someone who's wrestling or struggling in their life and follow along for more.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: It's great that you share your time with me and please remember, the world doesn't need more perfection and polish.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: It needs your presence and realness.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: So keep fiercely encouraging yourself and others.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: Know that it matters and if you're interested in deepening your awareness, practice or connecting with me one-on-one, check the show notes.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: I have some links there.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: It would be great to hear from you.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: Otherwise, have a great day, a great evening, wherever you're at, and we'll see you next time on Fierce Encouragement.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Okay, bye-bye.