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Deeper Conversation Live with The Joy Jolt: Arielle Ford Spiritual Toolbox · The Joy Jolt Podcast

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  SPEAKER_01: We're glad you all are here.
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  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to this deeper conversation.
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  And we're going to we're going to rummage around your spiritual
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  toolkit a little bit.
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  Well,
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  my favorite part of my spiritual toolkit is how I start each
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  morning.
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  SPEAKER_00: So I have a gizmo.
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you call it an app or what.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's from the Institute of HeartMath called their inner balance app.
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  SPEAKER_00: I guess it's what it's called.
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  SPEAKER_00: This thing you hook onto your ear.
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  and then you do this breathing and these processes to get into
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  heart coherence so I
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  sort of made up my own version of it and I call it the love
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  gratitude process so I
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  put this on and then I get this screen up which it shows you
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  when you're actually
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  going into heart coherence it's got different colors and sounds
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  to it and then I
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  SPEAKER_00: first sort of
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  Imagine that I'm opening my heart to welcome in all the love
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  that my friends and
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  SPEAKER_00: family have for me,
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  SPEAKER_00: just to acknowledge the presence of that.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then I start to individually sort of send an intention to each one,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: depending on sort of the level of need.
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  I start with the people who are dealing with a lot of illnesses
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  and I just send
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  SPEAKER_00: them sort of this vibe of I see you getting
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  SPEAKER_00: better,
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  SPEAKER_00: getting what you need,
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  SPEAKER_00: being pain free,
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  SPEAKER_00: having a long,
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  SPEAKER_00: healthy,
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  SPEAKER_00: happy,
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  SPEAKER_00: safe life,
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  SPEAKER_00: lots of longevity.
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  And it takes me about a half hour to go through because I have
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  a lot of friends and
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  SPEAKER_00: a lot of family and they all do different things.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I even do it for people I don't like.
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  SPEAKER_00: That was my question.
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  SPEAKER_00: You just read my mind.
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  SPEAKER_02: The 12 minute people, even for them.
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  SPEAKER_00: Well, some of them I never talk to because they're just so hostile.
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  SPEAKER_00: But I thought, you know, I actually feel bad for one in particular.
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  SPEAKER_00: And so I wish for her to find solutions and equanimity and, you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: Just some presence and balance.
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  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm very, very judgmental towards somebody.
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  I try to at least do two a day of people that it's like they
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  could use a lot of,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: use some energy.
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  So but what that does is when you do that whole process,
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  you get totally filled up.
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  SPEAKER_00: Your love frequency and your love tank is all filled up.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then I get out of bed.
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  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
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  SPEAKER_00: Start from this place of,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: I've just sent a lot of love out and a lot of love's coming back to me.
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  SPEAKER_00: and why not start there as opposed to,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: I can hear my husband downstairs listening to CNN.
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to hear what's going on.
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  But I,
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  you know,
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  as a 51 year old woman,
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  I think something I find surprising that I wasn't
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  I don't know I don't know why I find it surprising it might be
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  like duh is is you
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  know the number of people that you accumulate and you connect
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  with throughout your
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  years on this planet and the friendships that end and the
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  relationships that
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  transition and that people really are in your life for a reason
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  season and a
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  lifetime and your ability to relate to that really needs to get
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  better as you get
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  SPEAKER_01: older
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  and this sounds like such an amazing tool that helps to keep
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  you focused on the
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  loving presence because even if you're not in a relationship
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  with a person anymore
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  I'm laughing because when I did this Queen Ager TED Talk a
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  couple of years ago part
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  of what I was talking about was well the basic story was my
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  husband and I went to a
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  SPEAKER_00: party and there was somebody there that I often judged and didn't like
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  SPEAKER_00: And when we got in the car,
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  SPEAKER_00: he said to me,
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  SPEAKER_00: he said,
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  SPEAKER_00: oh,
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  SPEAKER_00: I saw you spent a lot of time talking to Nancy.
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  SPEAKER_00: I thought you didn't like her.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I said, well, you know, I hadn't seen her in a long time.
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  And then when she was standing right in front of me,
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  I couldn't remember why I didn't like her.
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  SPEAKER_00: So I just decided to start over.
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  SPEAKER_01: There you go.
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  SPEAKER_01: That's beautiful.
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  SPEAKER_00: Very pleasant.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I saw that with other people in life.
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  Like I have this brother who basically stopped talking to me 13
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  years ago,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: and I just decided,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know what?
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm never going to know why he's doing what he's doing.
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  SPEAKER_00: There's no reason for it.
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  SPEAKER_00: But just I'll put him on my love gratitude list.
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  SPEAKER_00: I'll be hopeful that he's finding some joy in his life.
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  So that's sort of one of the big things that's in my spiritual
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  toolkit is really
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  SPEAKER_00: practicing being love.
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  Because for a long time,
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  my tagline was helping people find love,
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  keep love and be love.
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm real bored with the finding love and keeping love stuff.
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  SPEAKER_00: I can't be love.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to just like, let's just be love now.
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  SPEAKER_00: And what does that look like for me?
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  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, what is that?
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  SPEAKER_00: And that's really the most
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  to use your words joyful place to be can I consciously choose
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  to be loving in spite
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  of the fact that you know that color lipstick she's wearing is
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  so wrong you know
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  like those thoughts are those thoughts are in the bathroom
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  those very human
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  thoughts right that yeah because well the other thing that I
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  think would be really
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  SPEAKER_02: helpful for for our community is like how do we
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  SPEAKER_02: How do we get back to joy when we are in a triggered place,
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  SPEAKER_02: when we are in a place when you go,
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  SPEAKER_02: how on earth can someone possibly think that this is okay?
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  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
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  SPEAKER_00: I actually, I have a little fix for that.
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  SPEAKER_00: So if let's say you're really upset with yourself,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: like you're really just like the choir screaming at you.
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  So what I would have you do is set the timer on your phone or
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  little egg timer for
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  SPEAKER_00: three minutes.
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  SPEAKER_00: And for three minutes,
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  I want you to be as mean and cruel and nasty to yourself as you
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  ever been.
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  SPEAKER_00: You stupid bitch.
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  SPEAKER_00: I can't believe what a crazy thing you did.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing.
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  SPEAKER_00: Anybody would ever talk to you.
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  SPEAKER_00: You're such a loser.
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  SPEAKER_00: Like just attack yourself.
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  SPEAKER_00: And if you're doing this properly, you won't even make it to a minute.
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  There's no way you can do it for three minutes because your
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  conscious mind is going
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  SPEAKER_01: to start laughing.
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  Now you're just going to start laughing because you know all
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  that stuff you're
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  SPEAKER_00: saying isn't true.
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  So if you get to the laughing part,
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  then go and stand in front of a mirror and do the opposite.
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  SPEAKER_00: You know,
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  SPEAKER_00: it's like,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  you're so kind and genius and you did this for so and so today
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  and you're,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  giving 10% of your income to this causes and your dog and your
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  cat really love you.
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  And then you end with blowing yourself a kiss while you're
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  looking in the mirror.
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  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because you don't want to deny it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Like one of the things my sister used to teach about what the shadow is,
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  SPEAKER_00: is she would say,
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  have you ever been in a pool where you were trying to hold down
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  a beach ball under
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  the water and you're trying so hard to hold it down and
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  eventually it pops up and
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  SPEAKER_00: hits
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  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
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  SPEAKER_00: Because that's your shadow.
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  You're trying to suppress your shadow and it's going to leak
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  out and other people
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  SPEAKER_00: are going to see it.
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  So that's why you need to go and learn to love and embrace and
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  accept your shadow,
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  SPEAKER_00: the good,
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  SPEAKER_00: the bad and the ugly,
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  SPEAKER_00: because we all have dark sides and light sides.
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  So you might as well learn to love it and embrace it and find
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  the gold in it.
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  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
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  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
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  SPEAKER_01: And I think
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  SPEAKER_01: that when you're doing that,
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  SPEAKER_01: when you're doing that work of like you're when you're pushing it down,
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  SPEAKER_01: I think part of that pushing it down is how busy we stay.
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  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes.
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  SPEAKER_02: Right.
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  SPEAKER_01: So it's not like I'm not, you know, yeah, avoid or avoid.
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  SPEAKER_01: Right.
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  SPEAKER_01: Right.
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  SPEAKER_01: So that sense of numbing out, numbing out.
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  SPEAKER_01: But it's like all these different ways that we push it down.
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  which are socially acceptable,
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  like the being so busy that you can't look at anything else.
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  SPEAKER_01: You can barely take a breath.
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  SPEAKER_01: And yet people wear that busy badge all the time.
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  But unless we have a consistent connection with the true
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  essence of who we really
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  SPEAKER_02: are,
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  SPEAKER_02: then I don't believe we can reach happiness or joy.
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  SPEAKER_00: because this is where it is.
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  SPEAKER_00: I think it comes and goes.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like, it's not a consistent thing.
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  SPEAKER_00: There are definitely, because I think we're so tied up in our feelings.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's where people mess up when it comes to love lives.
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  SPEAKER_00: They think love is a feeling.
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  SPEAKER_00: Love is not a feeling.
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  Anybody who's been married or in long-term relationship knows
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  you could be with
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  somebody you believe to be your soulmate and you're totally
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  committed to them and
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  SPEAKER_00: there will be days when you hate them
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  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but it doesn't mean that you don't love them.
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  SPEAKER_00: And it's kind of like that with you.
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  SPEAKER_00: Well, the choir is never going to die.
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  SPEAKER_00: You know, the choir is not going away.
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  SPEAKER_00: We're all insecure.
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  SPEAKER_00: You know, how do we cope with it?
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  Oprah told this great story about how somebody was talking
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  about insecurity and she
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  SPEAKER_00: said,
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  SPEAKER_00: let me tell you something.
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  SPEAKER_00: She said,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: I've interviewed everybody on the planet,
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  SPEAKER_00: kings,
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  SPEAKER_00: queens,
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  SPEAKER_00: rock stars,
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  SPEAKER_00: presidents,
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  SPEAKER_00: everybody.
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  SPEAKER_00: and at the end of every single interview I've ever done,
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  SPEAKER_00: they all say the same thing to me,
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  SPEAKER_00: which is,
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  SPEAKER_00: was that okay?
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  SPEAKER_00: Was that okay?
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  SPEAKER_00: Was that okay?
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  Because we want to be seen and heard and loved and cherished
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  and acknowledged.
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  you know and there's only one person alive on the planet right
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  now who no matter
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  what he does says he's the greatest but other than that the
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  rest of us wonder who
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  that could be the rest of us right the rest of us have
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  insecurities it's like even
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  you know like I know that I'm a good writer I've been a good
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  writer for a long time
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  but until I show whatever my latest piece is to Brian and he
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  says oh yeah this is
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  SPEAKER_00: really good or sometimes I say oh this needs a little tweaking
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  SPEAKER_00: You know, I need that feedback.
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  SPEAKER_00: I want that recognition.
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to live in a cave, you know, by myself.
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  SPEAKER_00: No, no.
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  SPEAKER_00: That would be hideous.
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  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
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  SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you, Ariel.
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  SPEAKER_02: We're at time, and I really appreciate who you are.
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  SPEAKER_02: And I love who you are now.
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  SPEAKER_02: because you have had a life.
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  SPEAKER_02: You've had like many chapters, like few of us have.
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  But who you are now and how you show up is an amazing example
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  of what we can all
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  SPEAKER_02: aspire to be and how we can all aspire to be.
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  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
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  SPEAKER_02: So I really appreciate you sharing your wisdom.
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  SPEAKER_01: It was really fun being with you guys.
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  SPEAKER_01: Yay.
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  SPEAKER_01: We love you.
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  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for the permission that you are.
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  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
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  SPEAKER_00: I always enjoy you.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's fun.
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  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
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  SPEAKER_00: Keep spreading your joy to the world.
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  SPEAKER_00: We need it.
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  SPEAKER_00: We need it.
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  SPEAKER_00: We need it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Joy Jolt.
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  SPEAKER_01: Joy Jolt.
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  SPEAKER_01: If you've enjoyed this, please invite someone to join the Joy Jolt.
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  SPEAKER_01: Go on over to thejoyjolt.com.
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  SPEAKER_01: Spread a little joy.
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  SPEAKER_01: Share the Joy Jolt with a friend.
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  SPEAKER_01: Be the ripple.
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  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
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  SPEAKER_01: Bye now.