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Why Narcissists PAY for Intimacy · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So why do narcissists love paying for the bedroom stuff?
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  The bedroom boom? Like I'm talking about only only
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  schmans, smostitutes, escorts, all of that type of stuff,
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  Korno, all of that type of stuff.
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  Yes I'm using certain words so it doesn't get, you know, taken
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  down or what not but y'all get what I'm saying?
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  They love paying for the bedroom.
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  Boom, so to speak. That's what we're talking about
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  today, y'all? Of course, if you're new here,
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  my name is Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist.
• 0:28
  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Scope.
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  Welcome back, folks. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  A lot of narcissistic people absolutely do love paying for
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  it. They love they they really do
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  love it. I'm just gonna keep it high and
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  ready now. Does every narcissist like doing
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  it? No no NO no, most narcissists do
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  not. Like I'm just being real.
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  There's a lot of narcissists out there who will not pay for it.
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  Blah blah blah Boo Boo Boo BB. Y'all get exactly what I'm
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  saying right? But there are a ton of
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  narcissistic people who do. And this video was inspired by a
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  lady I did a one-on-one with. Those are still available mental
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  illness.net. But I did a one-on-one with her,
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  right? And she was pretty much telling
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  me she was like, what? Martin narcissistic husband just
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  kept. He was on only sites like a lot
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  of our credit card bills. You would see the OF on there.
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  You would see the OF on there OF discharge, this type of charge,
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  you know, random charges, random Paypal's, random cash apps to
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  certain people or whatever. And I look the person up.
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  It's a lady of the night. Yeah, I know your husband.
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  Your husband has been here with me.
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  Your husband, one of my best clients and she was like, what?
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  I've been married just lately. I've been married so long, I had
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  no idea Why do they love that? Why do narcissists love that?
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  So I'm just like, OK, you know what?
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  I can do that. I would do that.
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  I will I will take our volunteer as tribute, right?
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  And that's what I'm saying. Obviously, I'm going to do it
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  like that and just to kind of get to get it off the RIP,
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  right? One reason the narcissist love
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  that type of lifestyle, love like the only fans people, the
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  escorts and whatnot, is because the power, the power and the
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  control. I think a lot of people, when
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  you see this video, a lot of people that have ever dealt with
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  a narcissist will understand exactly what I'm saying.
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  There are the ton of narcissistic people who just
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  enjoy the power and the control that they get.
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  They just do. They love having the power, they
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  love having the control over people.
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  This is just the mentality that so many narcissists have.
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  Like, and if I can just pay for it, even if it's not real life
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  or in person, even if it's just online stuff, I give you some
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  money, I get to tell you what to do.
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  I have power over you. I have dominion over you.
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  And I know that's not how it always is on the, in the grand
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  scheme of things, but in the narcissist mind, that's how it
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  goes. I have power and dominion over
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  you to be able to do, to tell you to do whatever I want you to
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  do. You can't say no.
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  Of course you can, right? But in the mind of a narcissist,
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  you can't say no because I, this is a transaction.
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  You see what I'm saying? Y'all know that narcissist
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  absolutely love that type of stuff.
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  Are they? They love the power, they love
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  the control, they love being able to being able to exert it
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  over other people. And then you get a lot of
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  narcissistic men who are just misogynist right now.
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  Could a narcissistic man go looking for another man?
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  Could they let a narcissistic man be on only fan sites of
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  other men? Yes, that's absolutely true.
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  But there are a lot of narcissistic men who are just
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  pure misogynist and they they love having power and control
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  over women because they want to demean them.
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  They want to just put them down. They want to just put quote, UN
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  quote, put them in their place, so to speak.
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  So it can't be the power and control do play a huge part and
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  why a lot of narcissists love this type of lifestyle.
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  Why they love stepping outside the relationship or stepping
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  outside the marriage and participating in this type of
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  lifestyle, right. And I yeah, I know y'all hear me
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  also mentioned it earlier. I got almost got caught.
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  The transactional nature of it. We know, or at least you know,
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  that narcissists love transactional relationships.
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  There's no feelings attached. I can just pay you.
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  I get what I want. It's a transaction.
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  You know, typically when you hear transactional relationship
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  with narcissists, they're getting something from you.
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  Like they only have people in their lives that they are able
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  to extract something out of. They're able to get something
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  from. They're able to take something
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  from, right? That's the transactional nature
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  of a lot of narcissistic relationships.
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  I can get what I want to from you because this is how I
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  operate. This is how I move around.
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  This is how you see what I'm saying the the power and control
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  dynamic provide that ability right there to have the
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  transactional relationship that a lot of narcissists love just
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  absolutely love the transactional nature of these
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  relationships y'all and another reason y'all just slide into the
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  let's go. Let's go slide slowly into the
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  next reason. Another reason that they pursue
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  these type of lifestyles is because literally they already
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  have someone at home. There's a yeah, sometimes
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  narcissists just cheat because they have they have you at home.
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  They feel more confident because they have a main supply, right?
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  They feel so kind, feel confident if they have a main
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  source of supply or a partner at home.
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  Like even if I get rejected, which is which is still going to
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  hurt. The rejection is still going to
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  hurt. Even if I get rejected, I can
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  still, even if I get rejected, I can still look at you and go
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  home. I, I got AI got a wife at home.
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  I got a husband at home, right? I have this at home.
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  I have that at home. So that's what happens
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  sometimes. Like even if they get rejected,
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  they will absolutely I would have you at home.
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  So it's the safety net. I can go out here.
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  I can do, I can go go exert this power and control over other
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  people and I have my safety net you at home waiting on me.
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  So a lot of times narcissists will actually absolutely go
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  here, do their cheat, do their cheating thing and just
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  literally just leave it be. You know the next reason that I
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  have written down right here, y'all just want to dart my eyes.
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  I have a whole white board here with my ideas on it so I don't
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  have to pull my phone up. The next thing y'all is some of
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  them are just SEX addicts. I said it.
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  They just look, there are addicts.
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  Now let's go ahead and get this out.
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  Get this out of the way. There are a ton of narcissists
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  who be out here lying, cheating, beating, whatever the case may
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  be, right? They would just be out here
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  lying to asses off about being sex addicts.
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  But they'll just tell you straight up that they are.
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  They're just like, well, almost. They'll cheat consistently.
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  I'm just as sick. Said I can't stop cheating.
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  Could it be true? Sometimes, yeah.
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  But sometimes they just love to cheat.
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  They love to have that power and control.
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  They love to be able to pay for it and make people go away.
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  You know, I'm saying it's just like they let sometimes they are
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  addicts, but a lot of times they are not.
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  They will lie about being an addict in order to get you to
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  feel sorry for them. Wow.
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  I'm a sex addict, right. You wouldn't talk to an
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  alcoholic like this, would you? You wouldn't talk to a meth
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  addict right here. Like with this, We talked to
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  somebody that's this stronger on cocaine like this or fentanyl,
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  you know, Would you would you talk to them like that?
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  You going to talk to me like that?
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  Yeah. My drug of choice is cheeks.
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  Yeah. Because I like, I love big old
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  booty cheeks. And I'm thinking about it now.
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  Oh, let me shake myself out of it.
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  You see how that sounds right there?
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  You see how that goes? That's crazy.
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  But again, that's how the mind of a lot of narcissists work.
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  A lot of narcissists tend to go go into that space right there.
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  So could they be sex addicts? Yeah, some of them absolutely
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  could. But a lot of times they are not.
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  They're just liars. They're just manipulators.
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  They just do so much horrible stuff.
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  And they're just, they just use it as an excuse.
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  But the sex addict, the sex addicts will absolutely pay for
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  it. You know they will.
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  They will pay for it. They don't only fans that, you
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  know, whatever back what is it back in the day?
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  What what do you call it back in the day?
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  Backpage, Backpage, everybody say is this civil?
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  Know only schmans escorts, you know, whatever the case may be.
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  So some of them love paying for it because they are addicts.
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  The next one I got written down y'all is deviancy and
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  insecurity. No, not insecurity, deviancy and
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  perverts. Now let's just keep it hot
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  ready. There are a lot of narcissists
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  out here, right that look that view their partners as precious
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  commodities. Now, before you get angry at me,
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  let me tell you what I'm saying. Let me look completely precious
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  commodity. I've been cheated on, beated on,
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  skeeted on. Everything on has happened to
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  me. I don't feel like a precious
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  commodity was just thinking about this.
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  They have this purity mindset. They have this purity mindset.
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  They want to look at you as pure, right?
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  So they go out here and they find deviance.
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  You see what I'm saying? They want it.
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  They want to do some freaky, dicky, nasty ass stuff, but they
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  don't want to do with you. So because they so they, they
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  want to keep you looking in the same light.
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  They don't want to look at you as a as a life better word.
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  They don't want to look at you as a whore, right?
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  They don't look at their partner as pure.
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  So they have this deviancy and they're perverts and they want
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  to do nasty dirty. We don't, we don't kink shame,
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  right? There's some there's some kinks
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  out there that need to be shame, but we don't kink shame over
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  here. Yeah, right.
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  They don't want to do some nasty stuff and they don't want to do
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  with you. So sometimes the easiest way to
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  do that nasty, nasty stuff, they get that Mister nasty time or
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  missus nasty time. It's just get on only fans or
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  pay for an escort or get on Backpage or you something find
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  go find a go to a street corner, one of these major cities or
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  even some of these smaller cities.
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  Go to a street corner, do that type of stuff right there.
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  It's that's how it goes right there.
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  You know what I'm saying? Sometimes it really is just
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  because they're deviance and they're perfect.
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  So they really wanted to just get their rocks off and they
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  really won't really, really want to be freaky as hell.
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  So they just do the stuff that they're doing right now.
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  You said they'll they'll just go above and beyond to get that
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  deviancy out of their system, to experience that, to explode
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  elsewhere, you know, but they want to look at you as pure.
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  Like sometimes you can even find out about the only fan stuff,
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  the escort stuff, and they'll tell you what they've been
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  doing. Like, yeah, I always wanted to
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  go outside and do it in the rain, in in the back of a car,
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  blah blah, blah. And you, you were like, why did
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  you ask me to do that? I don't want to look at you as a
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  backseat whore. That's why.
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  You see what I'm saying? They'll say the type of stuff
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  right there to you, but not y'all.
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  Seriously, the last, last but not least, the last thing I have
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  wrote down right here, y'all, y'all might hear me flub it out
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  earlier, but it's insecurities. There are a lot of narcissists
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  out here that are insecure that might be afraid to speak to the
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  opposite gender or the same gender, whoever you're attracted
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  to, right? They might be afraid to speak
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  about that or speak to it. So guess what they do?
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  They call the one of these line. They get on only fans and
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  pretend to be smart somebody that they're not.
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  They get on Twitter or get to find an escort or go to Backpage
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  or whatever the case may be get online somebody else you.
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  It might be as easy as getting it.
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  Sending a Facebook friend requests out there to in order
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  to get your rocks off, because I'm not afraid.
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  They already there. They already, you already know
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  the escort or whatever the case may be, but it's easier to just
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  pay for it than it is to risk rejection.
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  Even though again, like I said earlier, you can risk the
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  rejection and still like after you still can get rejected even
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  after you pay, but the the risk go way down.
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  You know, the risk if that happening goes way down, you
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  know, and whatnot. So the insecurity sometimes make
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  it just easier for them to get on only fans or watch them corn
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  or pay for some corn, pay for some corn O sites or get an
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  escort or whatever the case may be.
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  It really is. It can be just fear, you know,
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  it really isn't fear. And the insecurities bubble to
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  the surface and it doesn't have anywhere to go.
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  So it just pops and pops and pops and it stays inside of
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  them. Yeah, in Michelle, welcome to
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  the end of this video. Make sure you check out my
• 12:03
  website mentalillness.net for all things Lee Hammock.
• 12:06
  Make sure to check out my kids book.
• 12:07
  It's called Remember it's not Your fault.
• 12:10
  It's a it's a conversation starter to have with your to
• 12:12
  have those tough conversations with your kids about toxic
• 12:15
  relationship dynamics, about a neglectful absent parent, about
• 12:19
  loving yourself by loving your body and things of that nature,
• 12:21
  y'all. So maybe just remember to check
• 12:23
  that out. It's on Amazon.
• 12:24
  It's called Remember it's not your fault.
• 12:26
  It's available right now. Hit the subscribe button y'all
• 12:29
  and I'm out. Peace.