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Why Don't Narcissists Change their behaviors · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist, Mr. Lee have it
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  Better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is the first time seeing my
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  face or hearing my lovely voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and I use my platform on social media to raise
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  awareness for NPD. Get more people in the therapy
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  like myself and it also validate the victim, survivors and
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  thrivers of said toxic people. Said toxic people said toxic
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  trace what? Not y'all.
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  Today's episode is going to be entitled Why don't narcissists
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  change? Why don't they want to change?
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  Why don't they feel the need to change?
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  That's it right there. Y'all.
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  So before you hop in today's episode, y'all make sure that if
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  you have not already hop on Amazon, check out my Self Love
• 0:46
  Journal to help you rebuild that self love, authenticity and you
• 0:50
  know identity after a toxic relationship with a narcissistic
• 0:54
  person. It helps you rebuild that Y'all
• 0:56
  have a self love course that's going to accompany me that
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  coming out pretty soon. Like I said, link is in the
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  description every video I do and podcasts that I do as well.
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  But back to the topic ahead. Why don't narcissist feel?
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  Why don't? Why don't they change out?
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  Other than the fact that as a clinically diagnosed narcissist,
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  you can't, you can't change a personality.
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  Yeah, it's a personality disorder.
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  I get a lot of comments in my comment section where people are
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  always asking, like, why don't they just if they if they know
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  they're doing bad, why don't they just change?
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  Where's the pill that for that personality disorder?
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  Yeah, it's a disordered personality.
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  You can't, yeah, yeah, you can't cut apart some.
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  You can't dissect somebody's brain.
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  It's just like there's that disordered personality right
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  there. Let's fix it.
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  Me, me, me, me, me. This is not like, this is not
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  like operation or whatever. No, it's just it's
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  scientifically speaking, psychologically speaking, you
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  can't change a disordered personality.
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  It's this, it's in the. It's the it's in the fiber of
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  our being. This is this is who we are.
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  You see what I'm saying? This is who I am.
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  I have a yeah, I tell people all the time.
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  I have a great personality. If you ever met me before in
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  real life, if you know me in real life or if you met me in a
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  meet up or a workshop more to come on those.
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  If you met me there or I say you know me in real life, You
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  understand like I have a good personality.
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  It's just disordered. I have my self-defense
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  mechanisms are running super high.
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  I tell people all the time, I have a great personality.
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  It's just got a little, got a little my my personality had a
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  little splash to it, I would say, you know, but overall
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  outside the the scientific stuff, if you're not dealing
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  with a clinically diagnosed narcissist, but you dealing with
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  somebody with high traits or just toxic as hell, just overall
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  in general, they don't have to be diagnosed yet.
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  But think about it from this point, this point right here,
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  why do that? Why would they want to change if
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  a narcissist or a toxic person, If their needs are being met,
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  Whatever those needs are, however toxic those needs are.
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  If those needs are being met, why do they need to change
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  anything up they were there. Yeah.
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  If I'm getting my needs met, if what?
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  If I'm getting whatever I want from this world, I'm getting
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  whatever I want from the people around me, from my partner, Why
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  do I need to change who I am? Why would I need to change what
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  I have going on internally if I'm getting all of those said
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  needs met? Think about it like that right
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  there. Y'all if why would I change
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  anything up if my needs are just being met?
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  Point blank. Period.
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  There's not that. I'm not.
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  Why? Why?
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  Why would I? And this is not me trying to
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  chastise anybody. This is not me trying to just
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  beat anybody down. This is me just saying, why
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  would I change anything up? If everything that I'm trying to
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  get, if everything that I'm trying to do is getting met, why
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  do I need to change? Yeah, that narcissistic person
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  might be hurting you. But if you're not leaving, if
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  you're not, if there's no accountability there, why do
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  they need to change? And I'm just and I'm not trying
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  to make you feel like you're worthless.
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  I'm promise y'all this, y'all know, y'all been following me
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  long enough to know that's not my goal.
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  My goal is to not make you. I'm not trying to make you feel
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  worthless. I'm just saying when you're
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  dealing with a narcissistic person, understanding from this
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  perspective, like why did they need it?
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  Why did they need to y'all? Why would they?
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  Why would they need the change of who they are If everything,
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  if everything. If maybe I'm not happy
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  internally, maybe the narcissistic person, right?
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  Maybe there's a lot of internal turmoil going on.
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  Maybe my mind is going everywhere.
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  Maybe I'm down there literally going crazy.
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  But why would I change those needs, right?
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  Why would I change my personality up if those needs
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  are just being consistently mad? If I'm getting everything I
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  want, If I if I still have my family together.
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  If I still, they say, have my job and career.
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  If I'm still progressing on in life.
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  Why do I want to change? You know what I mean.
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  No matter how bad I've been, no matter if I've cheated on you.
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  If you've forgiven me and I cheated on you again.
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  And you forgive me and I cheated on you again and you forgive me.
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  Why would I stop doing it? Clearly, in my head is not that
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  big of an issue. If you keep catching me and you
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  keep forgiving me, it's not the big of an issue.
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  But I understand y'all. I'm not saying y'all.
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  I know how people like them. I know how some people
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  misconstrue myself. So let me clarify this.
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  I am clearly not saying that it's okay to cheat on you.
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  I am not saying that at all. I'm saying in the mind of a
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  narcissistic person, there's a lot of black and white thinking
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  if it's bad, you leave, If it's good, you say it's can be.
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  It can be as simple as that. Within the mind of a narcissist.
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  Y'all think about that. If it's that bad, you leave.
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  If it's good, you stay. You have not left, so it must be
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  good. You see what I'm y'all see what
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  I'm saying? You see how clear and Simply
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  put, that is right there. It must not be that bad if you
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  choose to not leave. It's not rocket scientist,
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  rocket scientist, It's not rocket science for a lot of
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  narcissists. Y'all, that's just the way the
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  mind works. It must not be that bad if you
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  don't leave and this. It could be as simple as that.
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  Y'all, that's what I'm just saying.
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  Why would I change my person? Why would I change up my
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  behaviors if my needs are being met?
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  Yes, I can change them for a little while.
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  But why would I change them consistently over time if my if
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  every. I'm getting everything I want
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  and I will know. I know people, how people try to
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  twist this right here and come back at me.
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  Some people would be like, well, Lee, what about you?
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  You change you. You change your personality type
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  of You change your behavior. Yeah.
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  Yeah. Because my needs were not being
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  met. My needs are different.
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  My needs from when I was younger and my, my needs from when I was
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  22, when I was 32 years old are just different.
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  I need my family to be. I need my family to be healthy
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  as possible. I need.
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  There's a need now. So yes, I need that my needs are
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  not being met. If my family's not healthy, my
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  kids are back doing bad in school, My wife is unhappy.
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  Those are not, those are now my needs.
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  So my needs are not being met anymore.
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  So I need to change. If I'm if I might fault for them
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  doing that, then I need to change my behavior.
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  You see what I'm saying? You know how reflective it is on
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  me because I've been putting in six years of work on my mind to
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  understand that, yes, it starts with me.
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  I can blame anybody else. Yeah, it's easy for me to blame
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  other people for where I'm at, to be where I am at right now,
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  you know. But I'm going to blame like it's
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  I do consider myself, like marginally successful now.
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  But like if I'm going to blame people for, you know, for
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  hindering me, that I also have to blame the same people for why
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  I'm successful. If I'm going to blame the same
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  people for, you know, hurting me, then I have to blame them
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  for helping me, helping heal me as well.
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  Because I would not know healing if I didn't know hurt.
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  And I'm not saying that it is okay to be hurt.
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  I'm just saying I wouldn't know healing.
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  I wouldn't know this level of healing and growth if it.
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  What if I didn't know that level of pain and suffering
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  internally, mentally, you know what I mean?
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  Some things you have to go through.
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  I'm going through it. I can't go around my mental
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  health. I can't go around it.
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  I can't, I can't push to push to decide and not deal with it
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  because it won't get done. It won't get dealt with.
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  I can't. You cannot procrastinate on your
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  mental health because you, if you procrastinate on your mental
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  health or yourself love, you show up late to your you show up
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  late to loving yourself. You know what I'm saying?
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  Why would you, why don't you procrastinate on self love?
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  That's one thing you don't want to procrastinate on.
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  I don't want to procrastinate on my mental health.
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  I don't want to procrastinate on myself.
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  Love. You see what I'm saying?
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  And that's why I tell people. You mean that's why I brought
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  myself. So I created myself Love
• 8:26
  Journal. It's on Amazon.
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  I showed it to you earlier. You know what I mean?
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  There's so many people get caught up in the, like, get
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  caught up in the mindset and the mentality of things that go on.
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  If I tell you I want people to grow, I want, I want to help
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  people grow. I want to help as many people as
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  I possibly can out there in the world.
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  Be better people you know, and it's absolutely possible.
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  But like I said, if you deal with a narcissistic person, you
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  have to ask yourself, how can this person hit rock bottom,
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  which I consider? I consider myself hitting rock
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  bottom in 2017. How can the person in your life
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  hit rock bottom if you still continue to stay with them and
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  support them? But look, they're making little
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  changes here and there. Y'all little.
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  Anybody can make little changes for a little while.
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  Anybody can make little changes for a little while.
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  Where's the consistency yet? Where's the consistency?
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  That's what it takes right there.
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  Why would I want I can change for a little while and get you.
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  If I can change for a little while to rope you back in, then
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  that's what I'm going to do. That's like if all it takes is a
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  couple of weeks of me changing or a couple of good words or
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  writing you a damn letter or saying something or saying the
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  words, I'm sorry to you with no change behaviors.
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  That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to do what it takes,
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  but I'm not going to do it for a very long time, if you see what
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  I'm saying. So why would they?
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  Toxic narcissist. Why wouldn't they?
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  Why wouldn't they? Y'all ask yourself is a lot of
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  times it's going to hurt you to ask yourself this question right
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  here. Why would they change if they're
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  getting all, if they're getting everything, if they are, if
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  they're still getting everything.
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  Some people, it hurts them when they ask themselves that
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  question are down. That's that's deeply Why would
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  they change them? If I if I can't hold them
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  accountable, I haven't held them accountable.
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  Why would they do something else?
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  Why would they change, You know what I'm saying?
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  Why would they behave as altered?
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  Why would they want to put the work in if they don't need to?
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  If they don't have to put the work in, why would they?
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  You mean, why would they? They have to want to Y'all, it
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  has to be a want. For me, it's a need.
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  But for some people, it has to be at least be a want.
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  You have to want it, you know? For me, it's a need.
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  I need to be better. I need to.
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  I need to grow. I need that.
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  I need to try this healing stuff.
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  I need it. For some people, it's just a
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  want, you know? Some people it's not either.
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  It's not a need or want. So ask yourself that question
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  right there. Y'all if their needs are being
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  met, why would they? Outside of the the fact that
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  personalities are very difficult, damn near impossible
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  to change. But realistically, why would
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  they change their behaviors if everything that they want to do
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  and need to do, why would they change those behaviors of y'all?
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  I agree, I'll leave. I'll leave you with that today.
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  Y'all. So the opportunity in y'all like
• 10:59
  and subscribe for more. And of course, as always, y'all
• 11:01
  that the wholeness is out peace. Thanks for making it to the end.
• 11:05
  Y'all. If you haven't already, make
• 11:06
  sure you check out the I Love Me Brandy self Love brand.
• 11:10
  Link is to the description of every single video and podcast
• 11:12
  that we do. Thank you so much.