Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What does it mean when a Narcissist says I HATE YOU!

Transcript

What does it mean when a Narcissist says I HATE YOU! · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful folks?
• 0:02
  Today we're going to be talking about what does it mean when a
• 0:06
  narcissist says that they hate you?
• 0:08
  What is it? What do they mean when they say
• 0:09
  that? If you're new here, my name is
• 0:11
  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist and
• 0:14
  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
• 0:34
  Welcome back, folks. Welcome back.
• 0:35
  Welcome back. Yes, yes, yes.
• 0:36
  That's the question of the day, isn't it?
• 0:38
  Like, what are the pesky narcissistic people?
• 0:40
  What do they mean when they say that I hate you?
• 0:44
  That they hate you because they, like a lot of people get this
• 0:49
  question. A lot of people get this, this,
• 0:51
  this response. A lot of people get this answer
• 0:53
  from the toxic, abusive narcissistic person that they're
• 0:56
  dealing with. They they hear this a lot, don't
• 0:58
  they? You hear this a lot.
• 0:59
  I hate you. I hate everything about you.
• 1:02
  It is you notice this right here, y'all?
• 1:07
  It mostly comes like it can happen during the duration of
• 1:10
  the relationship, right? You can be with this person.
• 1:14
  You can definitely be with this narcissistic person that is
• 1:17
  claiming to hate you, right? You can definitely be in a
• 1:20
  relationship with somebody that is claiming to hate your guts,
• 1:22
  that is claiming that you mean nothing to them.
• 1:25
  You can absolutely be in a relationship with a person like
• 1:27
  that, right? They'll say it in an argument,
• 1:29
  they'll say it in an argument, they'll say it here and there.
• 1:31
  They'll they'll say it once they start, once they start it, once
• 1:39
  they start saying it, they'll say it pretty consistently,
• 1:41
  right? Once they start saying that they
• 1:43
  hate you, they'll say it pretty consistently.
• 1:45
  But what do they mean when they say it?
• 1:46
  Do they absolutely do they absolutely hate you as a human
• 1:50
  being? Do they hate you as a person or,
• 1:53
  or, or do they hate how you make them feel about themselves?
• 1:57
  Do they hate what you make them question about themselves?
• 2:00
  Do they do they hate being around you to the point because
• 2:03
  of all the questions that come up within them?
• 2:06
  Do they hate that right there? I ask that because it's
• 2:10
  extremely important because, yeah, it could could do some
• 2:14
  narcissists absolutely hate you? Yeah, some narcissists do think
• 2:16
  that when they say they hate you.
• 2:18
  Do they they some of them do think that you've ruined their
• 2:20
  life somehow so much shape or form.
• 2:22
  Like, especially if you left them because they've cheated.
• 2:24
  Like it is it is. It is absolutely.
• 2:25
  It sounds absolutely like ridiculous that somebody could
• 2:28
  hate you for leaving them for doing something bad to you.
• 2:31
  That's insane. You see what I'm saying?
• 2:33
  They hate you for holding them accountable.
• 2:35
  They hate that like they I hate you so damn much, I'm going to
• 2:38
  ruin your life and they they will try to ruin your life.
• 2:40
  Some of them will absolutely try to go above and beyond to ruin
• 2:43
  your entire damn life because they say they hate you, right.
• 2:46
  That happened to so many people that happened so many times, but
• 2:51
  do the but most time the narcissist when they say this
• 2:54
  type of stuff, they hate how you make them feel about themselves
• 2:57
  in that moment. It is general moment in vicinity
• 3:00
  right here. They hate how you make them feel
• 3:03
  about themselves. Like I hate as a narcissist, I
• 3:06
  hate how you make me feel about myself in that moment.
• 3:09
  And any sidebar that means somebody comments on people like
• 3:12
  I guess new people who follow me.
• 3:13
  Like why don't you just say we for every single thing?
• 3:16
  Leak you're a narcissist too. Like, yeah, I don't say we
• 3:18
  because I don't do every single thing and narcissist does.
• 3:20
  Like every narcissistic person is different.
• 3:22
  If it's something I do, then I'll say we or I've done this
• 3:25
  like people's like Lee, what what happened when you cheated
• 3:28
  on your wife 45 times and did it and you you slept with
• 3:31
  everything walking and then now you like no, that's not me.
• 3:33
  Like people keep saying that. I just respond like you start
• 3:37
  saying we I I prefer it. Somebody said I prefer if you
• 3:40
  say we in your in your videos. I just responded no, you prefer
• 3:43
  it something What's this stuff? But yeah, so narcissistic
• 3:48
  people, y'all, they hate sidebar over, they hate how you make
• 3:52
  them feel about themselves. So in this situation, this
• 3:54
  applies to me. Like if I'm around you and I
• 3:57
  feel like that you're more physically attractive than me, I
• 4:00
  hate how you make me feel about myself.
• 4:02
  So sometimes I might say I hate you, you know, and hate is a
• 4:05
  strong word. And it sucks because somebody
• 4:08
  and you and as you as a person, as a human, maybe as a possible
• 4:12
  empath of well, we're not you, you, it's hard hearing the words
• 4:18
  I hate you coming from somebody that claims to love you or said
• 4:21
  that they will love you and never hurt you and things like
• 4:22
  that. They promised to never hurt you.
• 4:24
  But now they're saying that they hate you, that you, the biggest
• 4:27
  mistake I've made, you're this, you're that they are.
• 4:29
  They're claiming you're this horrible, horrible human being.
• 4:33
  They're claiming this about you. They're claiming that about you.
• 4:35
  And like I said, in a lot of these spaces they have, they
• 4:38
  really don't have a leg to stand on.
• 4:40
  They're really upset and angry because you like, because you
• 4:44
  are doing well, like and it's crazy y'all, it's crazy.
• 4:48
  But when they say they hate you, it really means that they, a lot
• 4:50
  of times it means that they hate themselves.
• 4:53
  Like not only do they hate how you make them feel about
• 4:56
  themselves, they hate like themselves internally.
• 5:00
  Not every single narcissist is the same, y'all?
• 5:02
  Like I said earlier, not every single narcissist is going to
• 5:04
  hate themselves. But that's not me.
• 5:06
  I just don't believe that to be true.
• 5:09
  There is a lot of a lot of internal unhappiness and things
• 5:12
  like that when you're dealing with narcissists, right?
• 5:14
  But not every single narcissist is going to hate themselves to
• 5:16
  that type of extent, right? So when they do say I hate you,
• 5:22
  take it like, yeah, it's going to hurt you in the moment.
• 5:24
  But once you get a chance to calm down, think about that,
• 5:26
  right? Think about this.
• 5:28
  What prompted that? What triggered that?
• 5:31
  What, what what was going on 5 minutes before, 10 minutes
• 5:35
  before? How has their day been going?
• 5:37
  Because you you can see right here that a lot of times is not
• 5:41
  even about you. The words I hate you, even if
• 5:43
  it's coming to, even if it's personalized.
• 5:45
  I hate you, Lee. I hate you, Debbie, I hate you,
• 5:50
  Ashley, I hate you. You know I hate you.
• 5:53
  Whatever their name, whatever, whatever their name is, they'll
• 5:56
  they'll say they hate you and it seemed like a personal attack on
• 5:59
  you, right? But it really is.
• 6:02
  Just look at their life. Look what's going on with them.
• 6:04
  That's what they hate. They hate how you make them feel
• 6:06
  about themselves in this moment. They hate themselves because
• 6:09
  they have they themselves haven't accomplished something.
• 6:13
  They hate themselves because they themselves feel like they
• 6:15
  haven't done enough with their own life.
• 6:18
  So they're sitting up here angry as hell, taking it out on you.
• 6:20
  They're taking it inner self hatred out on you.
• 6:24
  You get the brunt of everything like they're taking that inner
• 6:27
  stuff out on you. So what do they mean when they
• 6:30
  say they hate you? Look at the moment.
• 6:32
  Look in the moment. Look, look at the build up what
• 6:35
  has been going on for the last few days, weeks or whatever.
• 6:38
  And like look at the build up of what is hate is coming from
• 6:42
  because this can help. The reason I say this because it
• 6:44
  can help set you free in the long run.
• 6:46
  It can help, you know, create some create this distance
• 6:48
  between you and them emotionally.
• 6:51
  It helps set you free when they say I hate you and it can stop.
• 6:53
  It can help you to stop taking it.
• 6:55
  So personally when they say I hate you, you know, because if
• 6:58
  they say I hate you, look at the real, like take a step back and
• 7:02
  look at the real situation. Look at what they are actually
• 7:06
  saying. Look at what they're actually
• 7:07
  talking about that they hate because it's important, you
• 7:10
  know, because, yeah, it's, it's going to seem like a personal
• 7:13
  attack because it's personalized towards you that added your name
• 7:16
  to it. But at the end of the day, is it
• 7:18
  really you that they hate or is it something about themselves
• 7:22
  that they hate? Because, yeah, can a narcissist
• 7:24
  absolutely hate you? You know what I'm saying?
• 7:27
  Yeah, it it happens right there. That does happen.
• 7:30
  They absolutely can hate something.
• 7:33
  Yeah, some of them can absolutely hate you.
• 7:35
  Y'all, I'm going to be real. Some narcissists can't hate you.
• 7:38
  Like they have this hatred towards you and you can tell how
• 7:40
  they're treating you can tell how hard they're trying to make
• 7:42
  your life. That's one of the things that
• 7:44
  does happen. Like you can tell that they
• 7:46
  don't feel a certain type of way about you or they do feel a
• 7:48
  certain type of way about you because what is going on in the
• 7:51
  moment, because how they're treating you and what they're
• 7:53
  doing, you can tell then because that's important as well.
• 7:56
  That's why I was just saying like some of them do, like just
• 7:59
  be real. Some of them do hate you.
• 8:01
  Like look at the stuff that they're doing.
• 8:03
  Look at the stuff that they're doing.
• 8:05
  You know, you can tell like, OK, they do.
• 8:07
  Yeah, they, they kind of got a little, they got a little flame
• 8:09
  for me because. But ask yourself why ask it
• 8:12
  because they absolutely. Is it because some like you did
• 8:16
  something or they did something to you and you and you just
• 8:19
  said, OK, it's accountability, a clock.
• 8:22
  We're going to hold you accountable right now, right?
• 8:25
  It's accountability of clock. It's time to hold you
• 8:27
  accountable. And then they just like I hate
• 8:29
  you, like you outed them to their affair partner and now
• 8:32
  they hate you. You expose them online and now
• 8:36
  they hate you, you something. What do they hate?
• 8:39
  Is it just some genuine hate because you are a horrible
• 8:42
  person? Or is it just like something
• 8:44
  that has happened in their life and they may and they try to
• 8:47
  make you, it's something that happened in their life and you
• 8:51
  held them accountable for and it's something that is
• 8:53
  absolutely their own fault. What did what are they actually
• 8:57
  hating? Y'all, You know what I mean?
• 8:59
  What are they actually hating here?
• 9:02
  Is it you or is it or is it they you just holding them
• 9:05
  accountable? They're not used to this
• 9:06
  accountability. They're not used to this being
• 9:07
  exposed. They're not used to their
• 9:08
  reputation being ruined for something that they have
• 9:11
  actually done. You didn't make it up.
• 9:13
  They actually did it. You know that.
• 9:16
  You didn't go here and lie and make something up.
• 9:18
  They actually did it. You might have exposed them and
• 9:21
  now they hate you. So what does it mean when they
• 9:22
  say I hate you? It really does.
• 9:24
  It could absolutely mean that they feel this type of way
• 9:27
  because you exposed them. You won.
• 9:30
  You defeated them, so that's what this hate could be coming
• 9:33
  from y'all. So like I said, that's what I'm
• 9:35
  trying to tell y'all to like. Don't always try not to take it
• 9:37
  personal. Yeah, it's hard.
• 9:38
  I know. It's hard not to take it
• 9:38
  personal when they're not only saying I hate you, but also
• 9:42
  lashing all insults at you. It's hard as hell.
• 9:44
  Like Lee. Oh, Lee.
• 9:46
  I wish it was that easy to just say, you know what?
• 9:48
  I wish it was that easy to just walk away and whatnot.
• 9:53
  I wish it was that easy to just like, you know what he said he
• 9:56
  hate me, but you know what I mean?
• 9:58
  I can take it. I can take the you know, is is
• 10:01
  he said he hate me, but he called me Abac, you know,
• 10:05
  stupid. Talk about my Mama, talk about
• 10:07
  my daddy. He just you know, all the
• 10:08
  insults he got to lash at me, he lashed at me, you know, so it's
• 10:12
  very difficult in that space right there within that dynamic.
• 10:15
  So I understand that. So I'm not saying I'm not saying
• 10:17
  it's easy, but just take a step back and this right here, I'm
• 10:20
  just understanding what they mean when they say I hate you
• 10:23
  can't help set you free, it can't help you heal, it can't
• 10:25
  help you grow and whatnot as well.
• 10:27
  So that's something just something to consider.
• 10:28
  Y'all just put this video together and whatnot just kind
• 10:32
  of help you know I'm always trying to help people I'm always
• 10:33
  trying to find different ways to to break the through like the
• 10:36
  glass ceiling, so to speak and helping people heal and helping
• 10:39
  people grow and whatnot. Anyways, y'all they have to tune
• 10:42
  into another episode. I really appreciate every single
• 10:44
  one of y'all. Y'all know I'm thankful for
• 10:46
  y'all. Make sure you subscribe to the
• 10:47
  channel if you already have and help reach more people like
• 10:49
  somebody, somebody else subscribe to the channel to help
• 10:51
  reach you. So this is out.
• 10:53
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 10:55
  I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
• 10:58
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 11:00
  to the channel. Help us reach more people and
• 11:02
  click on the screen to watch another video or to browse
• 11:04
  through another playlist. There's also a link on the
• 11:06
  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
• 11:09
  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 11:11
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
• 11:13
  video. Peace.