Latest / Dear Son, / I'm A Full Custody Father | Ep 185 | The Dear Son, Show

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I'm A Full Custody Father | Ep 185 | The Dear Son, Show · Dear Son,

0:00
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, let's get it.
0:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to the Dead Sun Show.
0:02
[SPEAKER_01]: We have meaningful conversations about life through the lens of Fatherhood.
0:06
[SPEAKER_01]: It's four fathers, those with fathers and the fatherless nobody's left out.
0:11
[SPEAKER_01]: These are the conversations I want my son to access as they grow through life and to manhoods and no topics or off limits.
0:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm your only host today but we get the good brother Ace Jackson in the house how you feel my brother.
0:24
[SPEAKER_05]: Man man I'm blessed I won't complain.
0:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Ain't nobody listen.
0:28
[SPEAKER_01]: You ain't never lied.
0:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't nobody listen.
0:30
[SPEAKER_01]: We're on this full of complaints man how are you how are you we start now?
0:33
[SPEAKER_05]: Man.
0:35
[SPEAKER_05]: Man, it's like I'm blessed.
0:37
[SPEAKER_05]: Like I tell people, I tell them I come blessed, right?
0:39
[SPEAKER_05]: But when people say they bless people, don't really understand what blessed has to come with.
0:42
[SPEAKER_05]: I was gonna do.
0:43
[SPEAKER_05]: You know what I'm saying?
0:44
[SPEAKER_05]: So when I say blessed, it doesn't mean I'm not having a rough week.
0:47
[SPEAKER_05]: It's not mean I'm not having a bad day.
0:49
[SPEAKER_05]: It's not meaning that my life is perfect.
0:51
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm blessed because he woke me up today.
0:52
[SPEAKER_05]: God, Paul.
0:53
[SPEAKER_05]: So many people forget the biggest blessing in the world is another day.
0:59
[SPEAKER_05]: So once you understand that, you won't complain about nothing else.
1:04
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I ain't gonna.
1:05
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you right.
1:05
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, because I know a lot of complainers.
1:07
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, we, we welcome that in the year, but yeah, I try to keep to get in as you go.
1:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.
1:12
[SPEAKER_01]: I long, has that been your persona.
1:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Man, as far as I can know, I got in the car accident when my little sister went out.
1:22
[SPEAKER_01]: The last.
1:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Take some of the load off for a video.
1:26
[SPEAKER_01]: So we were driving.
1:28
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm driving.
1:28
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm on a way to school.
1:29
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
1:31
[SPEAKER_05]: And they were in just behind.
1:34
[SPEAKER_05]: So my back then my thing was dang why me here.
1:40
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, you know, and then I go into a feeling sorry for yourself.
1:43
[SPEAKER_05]: And then my little sister looked next to me and she was like boy, they hit us from behind.
1:47
[SPEAKER_05]: We finna get pay.
1:50
[SPEAKER_05]: So I was like, dang, ah, I'm looking at the perspective all wrong.
1:56
[SPEAKER_05]: So when I started shifting that into my day-to-day life, then that's when it really started to click.
2:04
[SPEAKER_05]: And so your sister, you say, you little sister?
2:05
[SPEAKER_05]: My little sister.
2:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Good to babysit, man.
2:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, oh, my first story, getting in the car accident.
2:13
[SPEAKER_01]: That I'm not it wasn't it wasn't my first accident, but it I got rear ended and it told him my car I had a What year is this?
2:24
[SPEAKER_01]: This is 99.
2:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I had like a 95 Mississippi.
2:27
[SPEAKER_01]: She got a lot.
2:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay 12's in the back I kept a foot though.
2:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been I've been oh oh, so I never had a two door.
2:34
[SPEAKER_01]: I kept before though
2:36
[SPEAKER_01]: We got hit me with a drunk drop, hit me from the back.
2:38
[SPEAKER_01]: My car buckled around me, my door opened.
2:42
[SPEAKER_01]: And I get out the car pissed because that wasn't the first time that I got hit by a drunk driver.
2:49
[SPEAKER_01]: First time it did damage.
2:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
2:51
[SPEAKER_01]: I got hit before and it got attacked me and we pulled over to the side he took off.
2:57
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like never again.
3:00
[SPEAKER_01]: But I get out the car and his lady walks up, I know.
3:03
[SPEAKER_01]: No way in my store, right?
3:05
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, you need to calm down.
3:06
[SPEAKER_01]: You need to calm down.
3:08
[SPEAKER_01]: I sit down and then I look at my car.
3:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I had the whole time the car I spent and I'm like, it's fit to be a problem.
3:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Not that I was a tough guy.
3:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I was just, I was tired.
3:19
[SPEAKER_01]: It happened before.
3:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
3:20
[SPEAKER_01]: And the guy that hit me before, got off from like probation.
3:24
[SPEAKER_01]: I was his third DUI.
3:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And I know that was this guy that hit me just like I was his third DUI.
3:31
[SPEAKER_01]: I was just like, you know what?
3:33
[SPEAKER_01]: We don't scrap, but I look at the car when I look in the car perspective shifted in that moment.
3:38
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
4:00
[SPEAKER_01]: And then outside of that moment when you get ready to come back then, you got to look at it like I can go back and see my family today that way and at the time I think I'm 21 probably had just turned I think I was actually 20 this was 1999 I was 20 years old probably just turned 20 but the long way to a point of when you come to those moments when you do it
4:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Right?
4:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
4:31
[SPEAKER_01]: And they become decision-points and God doesn't necessarily give you a thousand decision-points to figure out.
4:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Nah.
4:37
[SPEAKER_01]: To be grateful.
4:39
[SPEAKER_05]: And see the thing about it is, people don't understand that those key moments of your life could either make you at that moment or break you at that moment.
4:46
[UNKNOWN]: Yeah.
4:47
[SPEAKER_05]: so many people let those opportunities for God to do with God does, for them to take over and they go do what they do.
4:54
[SPEAKER_05]: I got a God.
4:55
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
4:56
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
4:56
[SPEAKER_05]: So, but people don't get it like, you know, because some I didn't go, I got a lot of story talking to you and it's just like, man, I did that.
5:04
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
5:04
[SPEAKER_05]: I did it.
5:06
[SPEAKER_05]: I didn't let him finish the story.
5:09
[SPEAKER_05]: I didn't let him finish that book.
5:11
[SPEAKER_05]: I didn't let him finish the blessing behind it.
5:15
[SPEAKER_05]: I only took what the trickles that he gave me.
5:19
[SPEAKER_05]: And I went and made my own cake, and I didn't let his cake finish.
5:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes I ain't let him start it.
5:26
[SPEAKER_01]: You say that way that way we we don't weigh in the deep in man.
5:29
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, we throw man from Dallas.
5:31
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm from Dallas.
5:32
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I'm from Dallas Originally my mom's from Memphis my dad from Jopy so Jopy is life Jopy is like oh Cliff
5:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, Cliff, I do know.
5:45
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
5:45
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, Cliff is right off the Lute 12, it's a little bitty, man.
5:49
[SPEAKER_05]: My grandma was like the mayor of it down there.
5:51
[SPEAKER_05]: It was like a real close-knit situation, and yeah, he's be rough.
5:55
[SPEAKER_01]: I had a brother from a South Dallas correct me the other day.
6:00
[SPEAKER_01]: We want to call it talking about something we're going to do in the future.
6:03
[SPEAKER_01]: He said, I'm from South Dallas.
6:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, like, oh, Cliff, he's like, no.
6:06
[SPEAKER_05]: No.
6:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
6:07
[SPEAKER_01]: I had to write.
6:08
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
6:09
[SPEAKER_01]: I was on the phone.
6:09
[SPEAKER_01]: You were a person.
6:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't need to energy.
6:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
6:12
[SPEAKER_01]: I got some.
6:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
6:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I heard that.
6:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I got my lesson, but it's, I'm still learning, man.
6:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been here.
6:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Sounds crazy to say, I'm still learning.
6:20
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been here eight years, but not, but it's a lot.
6:22
[SPEAKER_01]: That was a lot to deal with.
6:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And it was COVID.
6:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, we got here in 2018, I came early.
6:33
[SPEAKER_01]: and then it was just trying to get a stop is like we have been we will come from overseas and then we're apart from overseas uh do but we live in Dubai for three years government contracts that's my dream vacation that's one of them something to do well
6:46
[SPEAKER_01]: say you should do it and kind of hold off a little bit and I'm not saying that tongue she I know people that are still there and it's it's not a good situation it's worse than other places but yeah for Dubai to be what it has represented and they put them to be going through what they go on through yeah yeah they yeah absolutely not prepared yes with not prepared and again I'm not suggesting that they are worse than with things are really happening but
7:11
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not expected there by any stretch.
7:14
[SPEAKER_01]: But we got here in 2018, and it was because we had been away as just a family unit, we were used to just, it's us, that's all you got for us.
7:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And by the time we started branching out COVID, right?
7:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And we bought a house, April, 2020, like a month in the COVID, and everything was kind of still close.
7:34
[SPEAKER_01]: And so we just started branching out maybe a few years ago
7:41
[SPEAKER_01]: with the city has the off.
7:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
7:43
[SPEAKER_05]: And it's a lot.
7:44
[SPEAKER_05]: It's a lot.
7:45
[SPEAKER_05]: And like you said, certain places they they respect where they from.
7:51
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you from Oak Cliff, you from Oak Cliff.
7:53
[SPEAKER_05]: If you scroll, you say Grove, you from Pleasant Grove.
7:55
[SPEAKER_05]: If you from Jopy, you from Jop.
7:58
[SPEAKER_05]: They respect that.
7:59
[SPEAKER_05]: And then everything outside of them places.
8:01
[SPEAKER_05]: And it's.
8:03
[SPEAKER_05]: It's so because it's like all the hoods feel like that, but when you go to the suburbs, they just love.
8:10
[SPEAKER_05]: It's a difference.
8:11
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
8:12
[SPEAKER_05]: And it's just like, you know, where if you from rock wall, rock lit can say they from the same, like, I was for all the same area.
8:18
[SPEAKER_05]: So it's just like, it's different.
8:20
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
8:20
[SPEAKER_05]: It's different.
8:21
[SPEAKER_05]: So what was your life like running up?
8:24
[SPEAKER_05]: Man, see, I got a lot to people.
8:26
[SPEAKER_05]: I watch my family get it out the mud.
8:31
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
8:32
[SPEAKER_05]: So we, we've been in apartments, we've, we, we, if my mom ain't pork and beans and we these, we all ain't pork and beans and we these are my mom ain't teep on stakes.
8:41
[SPEAKER_05]: We all ain't teep on stakes and we learn how to struggle together.
8:47
[SPEAKER_05]: And if we was wearing pay less, we were in pay less.
8:51
[SPEAKER_05]: If we was going to wear jays, if we was going to wear red red bottoms, we was going to wear red bottoms.
8:55
[SPEAKER_05]: And my, my dad showed me how to sacrifice is a man at an early age.
9:03
[SPEAKER_05]: Because my dad was a brave one for a long time.
9:05
[SPEAKER_05]: Yes.
9:06
[SPEAKER_05]: Um, my dad, he had two middle knees now, um, and got hurt on the job because the truck driver may get really good money.
9:13
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, a really great life.
9:14
[SPEAKER_05]: And then my mom's had probably over 300 and something jobs.
9:20
[SPEAKER_05]: I'd be like 360.
9:22
[SPEAKER_05]: She all see this and re-quoted, but, uh, she had a lot of jobs.
9:26
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
9:29
[SPEAKER_05]: Um,
9:31
[SPEAKER_05]: Mom came in and had to become the breadwinner and we opened up a bakery.
9:39
[SPEAKER_05]: because Mama couldn't hold down a real church.
9:41
[SPEAKER_01]: She couldn't hold down.
9:42
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm still kind of stuck on a number of Mama on.
9:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, she just, it wasn't heck of a resume.
9:48
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, heck of a resume.
9:50
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh my God.
9:51
[SPEAKER_05]: So she didn't really like, she, when you say God, got something for you, that's for you.
9:59
[SPEAKER_05]: And everybody not meant to be self-employed.
10:01
[SPEAKER_05]: Let me tell y'all that.
10:02
[SPEAKER_05]: We're gonna start that first and we're from us.
10:04
[SPEAKER_05]: Everybody not meant for that.
10:07
[SPEAKER_05]: But my mom was and the way she did it and me take the back the way that God did it didn't give her a choice Because we got to a point to where we were making a lot of money and then got to a point to where we trying to figure out what's going on because that hurt
10:27
[SPEAKER_05]: and I respect my mother way more than she'll ever understand because even my dad being down, she never took his manhood.
10:35
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
10:36
[SPEAKER_05]: And that's a lot of problems and a lot of homes.
10:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Seeing that too, man, my dad worked for a, having not actually ended up working for the same company.
10:47
[SPEAKER_01]: He got me gave me a recommendation and they picked me up.
10:52
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think he was at year like 23.
10:56
[SPEAKER_01]: he went to work as he always would call him in office and told him his job was a luxury they can no longer afford you can you can work the next two weeks so you can lead a day you can get to two week payout and whatever sick leave and all that and he was like a few years short of her other retirement and I'm still working there so that was a my shift for me and watching him go through that like he went back to school we were in
11:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Naval architect just saw design work for some reason carriers that the military uses was the lot of work that we were in a time that kind of became defense contract and kind of became whole career.
11:36
[SPEAKER_01]: But he went back and became an X-ray tech in like 50 my math a math and 50 plus 50 five is wait he's 31 years old at a me I yeah.
11:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I probably was 22, 23 in a time, so right around 55, I watched him go back to school, pick up our jobs, my mom never complained, you know, they, they are a God, we'll do it.
12:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Couple.
12:01
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh my God, that's how we live, yeah.
12:05
[SPEAKER_05]: That's how we live, but that's a real thing, though.
12:07
[SPEAKER_05]: Very real thing.
12:08
[SPEAKER_05]: And I hate to bring like race into it or color into it.
12:14
[SPEAKER_05]: But, that's your lens, yeah, but, but like, Black people, we do it different.
12:21
[SPEAKER_05]: Like when we have that faith, that's all we got.
12:25
[SPEAKER_05]: We could have nothing, and we could be in there in there praying hard, like it's a unit, though, because it takes a village, it takes the family.
12:35
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, I tell people sometimes like, I used to say this, and to a old lady told me, I used to say, man,
12:42
[SPEAKER_05]: We so blessed, my mom so blessed, I get her blessings by default.
12:47
[SPEAKER_05]: And I had to learn that nothing that I got was by default.
12:51
[SPEAKER_05]: All the hours that my mom put in, all the, all the, all the, I love you, all the, the, I'm gonna help you out.
12:57
[SPEAKER_05]: And I'm gonna help you out.
12:58
[SPEAKER_05]: I never really understood it.
13:00
[SPEAKER_05]: Sometimes that pay is not for her, it's for us.
13:04
[SPEAKER_01]: I had a, in the conversation, it became a real,
13:10
[SPEAKER_01]: get a couple years ago now.
13:13
[SPEAKER_01]: While I was talking about, I am benefiting from the saver of my parents being blessings to others.
13:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Still, still.
13:25
[SPEAKER_01]: By people I don't know.
13:28
[SPEAKER_01]: that I haven't been around because I've been gone from home for 15 or so years, but they always knew of me because they knew my parents.
13:38
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
13:38
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
13:38
[SPEAKER_01]: They be willing to so we see you to do something because of my parents.
13:43
[SPEAKER_05]: So and saying that to say this, so people always ask me like, what do you really want?
13:48
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, why do you do all the things that you do?
13:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm leaving
13:56
[SPEAKER_05]: It's success is way bigger than having money.
14:00
[SPEAKER_05]: Success is about your network around you.
14:03
[SPEAKER_05]: It's about your family around you.
14:05
[SPEAKER_05]: It's about the team that you got around you.
14:08
[SPEAKER_05]: The money is just a bonus about being successful.
14:11
[SPEAKER_05]: And success is me.
14:13
[SPEAKER_05]: God forbid something happened into me.
14:16
[SPEAKER_05]: And I installed something into you to where you saw my son on the street.
14:19
[SPEAKER_05]: And you'd like, what you doing?
14:21
[SPEAKER_05]: You know what, I need you to come on over here.
14:23
[SPEAKER_05]: You can stay with me for a little while because this is not how your dad would like this to go down.
14:29
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
14:30
[SPEAKER_05]: My mama and dad are so well respected where we're at to where we're at to where we were at a bowling alley one night, kids.
14:43
[SPEAKER_05]: And we got a little tussle inside the bowling alley, you know what I'm saying?
14:47
[SPEAKER_05]: And then it's all of us.
14:48
[SPEAKER_05]: It's my little sister, my older sister.
14:50
[SPEAKER_05]: Little sister keep popping up.
14:51
[SPEAKER_05]: All the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the, all the,
15:12
[SPEAKER_05]: I got two sisters.
15:13
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm going to claim my two sisters.
15:15
[SPEAKER_05]: I got two sisters from a mom and then my dad does have other kids.
15:19
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
15:20
[SPEAKER_05]: Um, but it's me.
15:21
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm the middle kid.
15:22
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
15:23
[SPEAKER_05]: But I call myself the little big brother because I'm still the one that has to be the problem.
15:27
[SPEAKER_05]: So ever.
15:28
[SPEAKER_05]: Um, but we, we were at the Bowman alley.
15:32
[SPEAKER_05]: We're all sitting on the curb and this cop didn't know who we were at the time.
15:35
[SPEAKER_05]: And another cop rolled up and he looked at us and he looked at everybody with us and he said,
15:42
[SPEAKER_05]: Does anybody belong to that white van?
15:44
[SPEAKER_05]: This is absolutely available on the side of it.
15:47
[SPEAKER_05]: And all the kids raise their hand.
15:49
[SPEAKER_05]: And he pulled his friends to the side.
15:51
[SPEAKER_05]: He said, man, I don't know what they did, but if it wasn't bad or worse or felony or anything at that nature, you're going to have to let them kids go.
16:01
[SPEAKER_05]: And he looked at them.
16:02
[SPEAKER_05]: And he was like, what you mean, let them go?
16:04
[SPEAKER_05]: Like they was in her fight.
16:06
[SPEAKER_05]: And anybody broke anybody press and charges if they not let them go.
16:10
[SPEAKER_05]: Let them go.
16:11
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
16:11
[SPEAKER_05]: They can't go back inside.
16:13
[SPEAKER_05]: Right.
16:13
[SPEAKER_05]: If the bowling alley doesn't, but my mom wouldn't do the bowling alley owner.
16:17
[SPEAKER_05]: So we was able to go back inside and finish rolling that strike, but it was just a simple fact of if that moment, I understood what my mom would really meant by carrying yourself way bigger than what you ever can imagine about how old do you think you were?
16:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I was in
16:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I was toasting him, but I'm in toasting for a month and I had to be in the... or we was in the Royal Air House.
16:45
[SPEAKER_02]: I had to be in like the 11th grade.
16:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Did that moment go to you?
16:51
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
16:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, you thought you had a pet SNL because of, like, you connected the dots with the... No, because my mama would work my hands.
16:57
[SPEAKER_01]: There we go.
16:57
[SPEAKER_01]: My bad.
16:58
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry.
16:59
[SPEAKER_05]: I was talking to you, dude.
16:59
[SPEAKER_05]: I hope you got it.
17:00
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:00
[SPEAKER_05]: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
17:02
[SPEAKER_05]: You can't get passes when you forget them police.
17:04
[SPEAKER_05]: I've read the take.
17:05
[SPEAKER_05]: I read the take me to jail.
17:06
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, call my phone.
17:07
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, dude, dude, not, don't carve them.
17:09
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
17:09
[SPEAKER_05]: Don't do that.
17:10
[SPEAKER_05]: No.
17:11
[SPEAKER_05]: No, my mama showed up to school in 18,000 different whites to come look down with my ass one day.
17:16
[SPEAKER_05]: My mama, uh, yeah.
17:18
[SPEAKER_01]: We walked out of...
17:21
[SPEAKER_01]: my story is still my story.
17:23
[SPEAKER_01]: We, we, we from the good eye way out of our how one night, me and my father was in high school.
17:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And we were flirting with these girls and you know what I'm saying?
17:33
[SPEAKER_01]: It was like, yo, y'all got to check.
17:34
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, yeah, we got it.
17:39
[SPEAKER_01]: One could one could argue that we knew that, but they said they had it.
17:43
[SPEAKER_01]: So we left.
17:45
[SPEAKER_01]: the manager that came in on the shift after we let, we leave it like two o'clock in the morning.
17:50
[SPEAKER_01]: It's one of my mom's a church member.
17:52
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
17:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Cause my mom and says, your son, his friends on camera, like they walked out, it wasn't good.
18:02
[SPEAKER_01]: I tried, I mean, I explained, I wouldn't get whipped at that time because I was probably, I was probably and forget the weapon though, but like I never had a sense of,
18:12
[SPEAKER_01]: My mom will give me off.
18:13
[SPEAKER_01]: My dad will give me off.
18:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Please don't.
18:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I would have we got to work out as long as I can make it home.
18:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Cool.
18:21
[SPEAKER_01]: But if I got this like, I got this end school suspension one time.
18:27
[SPEAKER_01]: I had a few of them on me and my partner.
18:28
[SPEAKER_01]: And I told this to me and my partner, we left campus, it was before like it is.
18:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how old you are, but my day and while front, you couldn't leave campus, we left campus.
18:37
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, for sure.
18:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Came back to campus, we sent in the car, beat bumping.
18:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Like bumping.
18:41
[SPEAKER_01]: He's that guy.
18:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
18:42
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I'm saying?
18:43
[SPEAKER_01]: We get in trouble.
18:45
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought we got in trouble.
18:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Come to find out.
18:49
[SPEAKER_01]: He doesn't get in trouble because he played baseball and the coach was like, nah, he, I mean, I get it.
18:54
[SPEAKER_01]: But nah, I'm in there fighting for my life and we need to call somebody.
18:58
[SPEAKER_01]: I promise you, you don't, I just, I just, it's school suspension with every day is don't don't don't adjust my schedules to where it's a flag for not plea.
19:08
[SPEAKER_01]: I got it.
19:09
[SPEAKER_01]: I can handle this.
19:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I had to have two days in school suspension, that's when you go to the room with no windows.
19:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
19:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
19:15
[SPEAKER_05]: And then they had like little cubbies in there.
19:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't remember.
19:21
[SPEAKER_01]: I know I had the right.
19:23
[SPEAKER_01]: on a talk boy, some crazy, or either, I came about to write on a talk boy, they wrote a sentence on a talk boy, and they made us, if you got done with your work, you had to write that indefinitely.
19:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Man, and it was some crazy.
19:35
[SPEAKER_05]: I got, even with handschool suspension, I got in a lot of trouble because she was like, I'm dyslexia, or I don't like the claimant, but that's what they labeled me.
19:44
[SPEAKER_05]: So, she used to tell me, if you're a little self don't stay in the classroom, how you gonna finish up your work, if they can't even help you as I said.
19:53
[SPEAKER_05]: All right, Mama.
19:54
[SPEAKER_05]: All right, I won't do that again, because obviously, I didn't get suspended.
19:59
[SPEAKER_05]: That's how I looked at it like, I didn't have to, you didn't have to come pick me up.
20:04
[SPEAKER_05]: But she didn't care.
20:05
[SPEAKER_05]: Mama, Mama, don't she didn't care.
20:06
[SPEAKER_05]: Mama was a real life, the mama, real gangster.
20:09
[SPEAKER_01]: My past was like, I, my past never called out work.
20:15
[SPEAKER_01]: So, tying the back to the story I told earlier, it was really frustrating to me for somebody that unless he was having surgery, now it took a sick day.
20:25
[SPEAKER_01]: That's my dad.
20:25
[SPEAKER_01]: What you're not going to do is have my dad interrupt his schedule to come see about your foolishness at school.
20:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, having one time.
20:34
[SPEAKER_01]: And I ran away.
20:38
[SPEAKER_01]: And we said, I say, when I say it ran away, I went around the corner.
20:43
[SPEAKER_01]: They're literally walking in a two mile circle because I had, I didn't know where I was going away.
20:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Had a bag.
20:50
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
20:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Had a bag.
20:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Some care goods in my rambo night.
20:54
[SPEAKER_01]: My pulse for heat was riding around found me.
20:58
[SPEAKER_01]: afterward.
20:59
[SPEAKER_01]: So number one, he had to come to the school doing his workshift to see about me.
21:05
[SPEAKER_01]: So I knew when I got home, I was like, hmm, this is why I exit the family.
21:10
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
21:11
[SPEAKER_01]: And left, he found me on the street and came home and that was the last time he went me.
21:18
[SPEAKER_01]: He went me and
21:21
[SPEAKER_01]: He was like never again.
21:22
[SPEAKER_01]: It was like next time we'll fight because at that time I'm like five, ten, five, eleven.
21:26
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
21:27
[SPEAKER_01]: It was like you had to take this.
21:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
21:30
[SPEAKER_01]: This was, this was the meaning.
21:31
[SPEAKER_01]: You, you earned punishment.
21:34
[SPEAKER_01]: But like I never, I'll never do you again like this.
21:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I've never, you never had to.
21:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Never had to.
21:40
[SPEAKER_01]: What was a, what kind of child would you like?
21:45
[SPEAKER_05]: So I was the,
21:48
[SPEAKER_05]: My little sister was, she far won the smartest people that I know when she actually applies herself.
21:54
[SPEAKER_05]: I was the, I'm going to get it.
21:57
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm going to get it.
21:58
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm going, I'm going to figure it out.
22:00
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm going hustle.
22:01
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm going.
22:03
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm that kid.
22:03
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, I'm going to make sure everybody around me good.
22:05
[SPEAKER_05]: I want to see my mama smile.
22:08
[SPEAKER_05]: My older sister, that's mama's baby.
22:11
[SPEAKER_05]: Um, that's mama's baby.
22:13
[SPEAKER_05]: But she got that whole respect because my sister been working for my mama's.
22:19
[SPEAKER_05]: since I know.
22:20
[SPEAKER_05]: So what's the, what's the game?
22:22
[SPEAKER_05]: It's a new young assistant.
22:22
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, we're all two years apart.
22:24
[SPEAKER_05]: So yeah, so literally we all turn out together.
22:27
[SPEAKER_05]: We all turn even together.
22:28
[SPEAKER_01]: My top, my oldest three are like the.
22:30
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, so.
22:32
[SPEAKER_05]: I was the kid where I was the curious kid.
22:35
[SPEAKER_05]: So I was to type my mom will tell you, don't go down the laundry shoe.
22:40
[SPEAKER_05]: And then when she get home, I'm stuck in a laundry shoe like this, like my mom.
22:43
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm hiding.
22:44
[SPEAKER_05]: Can you shut that?
22:45
[SPEAKER_05]: I know I'm in trouble, you know?
22:47
[SPEAKER_05]: So I was that kid or I don't go down that.
22:49
[SPEAKER_05]: I was that kid.
22:50
[SPEAKER_05]: So but I was also the kid to where mom would be like, you would have to figure that out.
22:59
[SPEAKER_05]: and I went in there and took all the boxes of old candy dish he bought and I went out there and I sold them and then I decided I wanted to buy my first pair of shoes.
23:08
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
23:09
[SPEAKER_05]: So I was the one that was going to start along with company because I wanted to be able to say I could accomplish something.
23:15
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to probably try to turn me on to that and I'll afford it.
23:17
[SPEAKER_01]: He would come home for work and be like, you got a yard to cut and I would have like a
23:27
[SPEAKER_01]: but I didn't realize where he was actually.
23:29
[SPEAKER_05]: He was, yeah.
23:30
[SPEAKER_05]: He was an install on something else until you did, if you don't know.
23:33
[SPEAKER_01]: He was giving me a business in it.
23:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Here I am, wanting to be the honest for Noah.
23:37
[SPEAKER_05]: not talking to him because I didn't see him being honest with him, but he was trying to he was trying to play was trying to install what he wanted in you though.
23:44
[SPEAKER_05]: But we we don't it's children.
23:47
[SPEAKER_05]: We don't understand it until it's too late.
23:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Matters of a dog.
23:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I was just talking about it the other day.
23:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, your post was a you said he was a truck driver.
23:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Was he like over the road?
23:57
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, he was over the road.
23:57
[SPEAKER_05]: So for for my whole younger life, my daddy.
24:02
[SPEAKER_05]: Let me say this one second before I go in and further because this could get dark.
24:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I have one of the best fathers that anybody could ever ask for.
24:16
[SPEAKER_02]: The disengaged was he wasn't there, but now I respect it.
24:23
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
24:24
[SPEAKER_05]: But my dad played a lot too though, so when he did get home, I was supposed to be a junior.
24:31
[SPEAKER_05]: The only reason I'm not a junior, which my dad thought I was a junior for a couple weeks outside of the hospital and one day when my mama got mad, she told him that you keep calling him junior like he like he a junior and he not.
24:47
[SPEAKER_05]: From my dad decided to he wanted to go back out to the club when I was born.
24:52
[SPEAKER_05]: So I was born.
24:53
[SPEAKER_05]: He came up there and then he left and when he left that little mama would be
24:58
[SPEAKER_01]: So what they what they married.
25:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
25:00
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
25:01
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, yeah, she.
25:01
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
25:01
[SPEAKER_05]: That was that.
25:02
[SPEAKER_05]: She had it.
25:03
[SPEAKER_05]: He had to get married on the first one.
25:04
[SPEAKER_05]: So he.
25:05
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
25:05
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
25:06
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
25:06
[SPEAKER_05]: You're going to not get.
25:07
[SPEAKER_05]: We go to get a real bit.
25:08
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
25:08
[SPEAKER_05]: But it's funny because they were.
25:10
[SPEAKER_05]: They.
25:14
[SPEAKER_05]: They met one week.
25:15
[SPEAKER_05]: She was on the bank accounts the next week.
25:17
[SPEAKER_05]: And then they were getting married the week after that literally.
25:22
[SPEAKER_05]: She would be able to clean that up for you a little bit more.
25:26
[SPEAKER_05]: But that's how that went.
25:28
[SPEAKER_05]: They met each other.
25:31
[SPEAKER_05]: She saw him.
25:32
[SPEAKER_05]: He saw her.
25:33
[SPEAKER_05]: If you let them tell it, they both.
25:35
[SPEAKER_05]: They, she saw her.
25:37
[SPEAKER_05]: And she saw him.
25:37
[SPEAKER_05]: And he was like, oh, I had to have her.
25:39
[SPEAKER_05]: And then she's going to tell you, oh, he had to have me.
25:41
[SPEAKER_05]: But they got to show me what love really was.
25:50
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, my mom and my dad, like, if my mom were, if my dad came home and said, hey, I want to sound with you through a clock in the morning, I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna make that sound with you.
26:04
[SPEAKER_05]: If you are in the house, my daddy in the house, and a million kids in the house, my daddy getting that first plate, period.
26:13
[SPEAKER_05]: If we out and about with people that other people's house, my daddy getting that plate first, period.
26:20
[SPEAKER_05]: So, like earlier, when I say my mom never took away my dad's, like, man, who, even when she became
26:28
[SPEAKER_05]: the breadwinner and don't get in when I said that my dad he he up the word or 20 even to this day they right now they probably that's probably didn't take them they they worked together now so it's really my mom my dad and my sister we fall in when they need me so if they need me I'm I'm going to be the the the the voice I'm the going to be the one to push things every time it thinks of that nature but I can bake and I can cook and I can
26:56
[SPEAKER_05]: I just don't do it because I do.
26:58
[SPEAKER_05]: I ventured into my own thought that I was gonna be my own person, but they still call me the cake laid a key.
27:04
[SPEAKER_05]: So, so it didn't even, it didn't work.
27:07
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm not the builder on the cake laid a key, but I think I've worked though, because it made me who I am today.
27:13
[SPEAKER_05]: Seeing all of their struggles, like people are with like, oh man, I got it out the mud and I lived this certain old.
27:19
[SPEAKER_05]: No, we might not have light sometimes or we might have didn't have everything we wanted, but I didn't get it out the moon.
27:25
[SPEAKER_05]: I ain't going to get you out of that store.
27:26
[SPEAKER_05]: We didn't come from much, but I didn't get it out the moon.
27:28
[SPEAKER_05]: They got it out the moon.
27:30
[SPEAKER_05]: I got it to where all I had to do was dust my boots off.
27:34
[SPEAKER_05]: And that's what I respect about the whole situation.
27:39
[SPEAKER_02]: How old are you?
27:39
[SPEAKER_02]: 36.
27:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Just turn 36, November.
27:43
[SPEAKER_02]: You mentioned your son, how old are you?
27:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Were you prepared at 20?
27:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Nah man, but what's that?
28:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Nah, I'm still not.
28:07
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll about to say how quickly did you recognize, what was the, what was the earliest indicator that this was beyond where you were at that time?
28:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I can't say it was beyond who I was.
28:25
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
28:25
[SPEAKER_05]: When we say ready, that's a very vague situation.
28:30
[SPEAKER_05]: I wasn't ready.
28:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, but I was prepared.
28:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's funny.
28:37
[SPEAKER_01]: We actually had that episode ready versus prepared.
28:40
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I was here, but you didn't know that you were prepared until you got put into the fire.
28:45
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
28:45
[SPEAKER_05]: Because my dad and my mom raised a real man.
28:49
[SPEAKER_05]: So the day that I found out for us to run back, first when I found out, I already told her, I told her.
28:56
[SPEAKER_05]: I said, hey, you know, you pregnant.
28:59
[SPEAKER_01]: What was the situation with you and her?
29:04
[SPEAKER_05]: We were together.
29:05
[SPEAKER_05]: We were together.
29:07
[SPEAKER_05]: We had a pretty decent relationship.
29:13
[SPEAKER_05]: But she had dad issues and mom issues and all those things and I didn't.
29:20
[SPEAKER_05]: and people don't understand that that plays a big part in relationships and I told her she was pregnant before she told me this year or before she knew this year was pregnant.
29:30
[SPEAKER_05]: So a couple weeks later she came and she was like I'm pregnant.
29:34
[SPEAKER_05]: I never forget it.
29:35
[SPEAKER_05]: I was standing.
29:36
[SPEAKER_05]: My mom was there.
29:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I was standing at the bottom of the stairs and she was like, hey, I just want to let you know.
29:47
[SPEAKER_05]: um, I was at school.
29:49
[SPEAKER_05]: I was I was doing I was doing okay.
29:51
[SPEAKER_05]: I was working it up by the shop and I was going to school full-time and Assume she told me I didn't show no excitement.
29:59
[SPEAKER_05]: I didn't I ain't gonna lie like I was just like okay, but but I already I just like already knew yeah
30:05
[SPEAKER_05]: I was just waiting for somebody to say it.
30:07
[SPEAKER_05]: And the next day I put a suit on slacks.
30:13
[SPEAKER_05]: I went out, got me another job.
30:16
[SPEAKER_05]: So I already had a full-time job, and that was already school full-time.
30:19
[SPEAKER_05]: Then I got me another full-time job.
30:21
[SPEAKER_05]: So I was doing just on the weekends, I landed another company, and I was working for them.
30:26
[SPEAKER_05]: 38 hours on the weekends, plus over time.
30:30
[SPEAKER_05]: Just on the weekends.
30:32
[SPEAKER_05]: It was on running.
30:34
[SPEAKER_05]: 13, 14 hours.
30:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Monday, if it was a Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
30:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And it took me fast.
30:47
[SPEAKER_05]: Because I was going to get it in preschool, which I know quit in school anyway, but that's another story.
30:52
[SPEAKER_05]: I was getting ready to quit school, and they were like, nah, don't do that.
30:56
[SPEAKER_05]: Don't do that.
30:56
[SPEAKER_05]: Don't do that.
30:57
[SPEAKER_05]: Just do what you need to do to, you know.
31:01
[SPEAKER_05]: we don't figure the logistics of it out.
31:04
[SPEAKER_05]: So, I went, from then about it, I told you I put a suit or a tile, and I went into a warehouse.
31:11
[SPEAKER_05]: I went into a warehouse job.
31:13
[SPEAKER_05]: First place that I went to a platform.
31:14
[SPEAKER_05]: I walked in, shooting a tile, dude was like, hey, what are you here for?
31:18
[SPEAKER_05]: I was like, I'm for the job, do I just talk to you?
31:22
[SPEAKER_05]: Back to what my mom and parents installed into you.
31:25
[SPEAKER_05]: He said,
31:27
[SPEAKER_05]: You put a suit and a towel and come on to a warehouse shopping or something.
31:32
[SPEAKER_05]: I said, yeah, that's the only way that I know how to do this.
31:35
[SPEAKER_05]: He said, okay, cool, he said the lady, he said, hey, can you go ahead and put him through the computers and then when do you want to start?
31:43
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm like, what you mean, he's like, oh, you got the job.
31:47
[SPEAKER_05]: I was like, I ain't feeling paper down.
31:49
[SPEAKER_05]: He's like, don't worry about it.
31:50
[SPEAKER_05]: We'll get all, we'll do all the logistics later.
31:54
[SPEAKER_05]: People are going to treat you how you carry yourself.
31:59
[SPEAKER_05]: If you walk with confidence, you look like confidence, you look like they're going to treat you have that.
32:07
[SPEAKER_05]: And I never understood that and so that day because my mom used to tell me on the time, you need to make sure you carry yourself as a man everywhere you go.
32:13
[SPEAKER_05]: If you want this, you gotta go take this.
32:15
[SPEAKER_05]: And when that happened, I was like, what?
32:18
[SPEAKER_05]: You make me interview, you didn't make me answer no questions, you didn't even know I could do anything in here.
32:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I only that, I was working there for like a week, and the next thing I know, I was a manager.
32:31
[SPEAKER_05]: On top of being dyslexic.
32:33
[SPEAKER_05]: So let me just say this, I ain't reading how one paperwork can we tell you how bad it was, how you used to get my phone out, when I had to fill out applications and take pictures, send them to my mama.
32:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Mama would do I put here.
32:50
[SPEAKER_05]: So to be where I'm at right now in life, and it's not all perfect in pizzas and cream, but to be where I'm at right now in life, if it wasn't for that family that I got.
33:02
[SPEAKER_05]: To back to the little sister.
33:04
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
33:05
[SPEAKER_05]: She used to do my homework.
33:06
[SPEAKER_05]: She used to help me when the cheerleaders wouldn't do it.
33:08
[SPEAKER_05]: She did it.
33:10
[SPEAKER_05]: Older sister like it's it took a village to raise me.
33:14
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's like for real for real.
33:15
[SPEAKER_05]: It really it led to because I was.
33:20
[SPEAKER_05]: I ain't gonna say I was, I wasn't a bad kid.
33:22
[SPEAKER_05]: I was a curious kid and I was always all over the place because I was popular in everybody.
33:29
[SPEAKER_05]: I was in every circle.
33:30
[SPEAKER_05]: It wasn't like I was stuck in a circle.
33:32
[SPEAKER_05]: I was never stuck.
33:33
[SPEAKER_05]: I could, I could, I could chill with the jokes.
33:35
[SPEAKER_05]: I could chill with the nerds.
33:36
[SPEAKER_05]: I could chill with the god that everybody loved me.
33:40
[SPEAKER_02]: So it was just man.
33:45
[SPEAKER_02]: They prepared me, and I didn't know that I was prepared for the kid to answer your question.
33:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
33:51
[SPEAKER_05]: And... And it all happened that this.
33:56
[SPEAKER_05]: My son was one pound ten out to the living, and it should log a birth.
34:00
[SPEAKER_02]: He was only like five and a half months when he came into this earth.
34:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I got a feet print on my arm.
34:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Look at that big.
34:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
34:07
[SPEAKER_02]: So...
34:16
[SPEAKER_05]: first half of being a father had to fight fight and my son's mother and you see this I'm not trying to talk bad about you um she had issues she had mama issues and that issues that were trauma that wasn't fixed to and they got pushed off on to the stuff that we had going on and I didn't know this until I got older.
34:43
[SPEAKER_05]: So she went into late.
34:46
[SPEAKER_05]: I was at work.
34:47
[SPEAKER_05]: Not a fact.
34:47
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm a weekend.
34:49
[SPEAKER_05]: She was at work.
34:50
[SPEAKER_05]: I was at work She didn't work because I was trying to do that whole.
34:53
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm gonna figure this out.
34:54
[SPEAKER_05]: I got this you do this go to school
34:57
[SPEAKER_05]: We don't figure this out because it's how my dad was at first before my mom took over and got the phone call rushed to the hospitals in rock wall rock wall Presby we get the rock wall Presby because she went into early labor to make it quick We got there she called her mom and she was like well Just let me know everything goes you'll be I
35:19
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, because she was spotting and my mom was like, nah, that don't she was like, that runs to the family.
35:25
[SPEAKER_05]: My mom said, what they don't run to our family.
35:27
[SPEAKER_05]: So we didn't take sauce with her because she called my mom.
35:31
[SPEAKER_05]: So we all, we all up there, they asked an all these questions.
35:35
[SPEAKER_05]: And I'm like, well, you do this.
35:36
[SPEAKER_05]: I was doing pretty okay in life right now.
35:37
[SPEAKER_05]: I had two good jobs and I was going school for time.
35:41
[SPEAKER_05]: And they took her back in the next thing.
35:44
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, we, we headed to Dallas, Presby.
35:48
[SPEAKER_05]: Careflot, because you're so uncommon and he is not waiting.
35:52
[SPEAKER_05]: So I'm like, okay, now it's starting to set it.
35:56
[SPEAKER_05]: Because now this is, this is, this is really happening.
36:01
[SPEAKER_05]: So we got to Dallas, Presby, we get everything you'll set up.
36:06
[SPEAKER_05]: Hey, this is mom, we're doing all this stuff trying to figure out everything.
36:08
[SPEAKER_05]: So they and do they gave her steroids shot to hold the baby a couple more days.
36:12
[SPEAKER_05]: So they held it for a couple more days.
36:15
[SPEAKER_05]: I get all work one day.
36:17
[SPEAKER_05]: Uh, could be paid for private rooms.
36:21
[SPEAKER_02]: And I get all work one day and her family sitting there.
36:26
[SPEAKER_05]: I ain't seen your family, it's actually been with me, you know what I'm saying?
36:31
[SPEAKER_05]: Like I ain't seen your family, since I'm almost called my father and said, hey, do you mind if my daughter stays with you because I kind of the situation's going on?
36:42
[SPEAKER_05]: So for that to happen at that time, really kind of hurt me because it was like, oh, I don't need you.
36:52
[SPEAKER_05]: So, I got called back up there, and that's when she's the actual day that she had the baby.
36:57
[SPEAKER_05]: This is gonna get so, this is gonna get messy.
37:02
[SPEAKER_05]: So, um, she had the baby, he and Nick Eugh, because he only won pounds and ounces 11 and she's longer birth, and then he dropped weight once he got here.
37:16
[SPEAKER_05]: She had to, and went to the her room where they took her after the fact that baby is in Nick you.
37:21
[SPEAKER_05]: We go to her room.
37:22
[SPEAKER_05]: My mom was sitting in there.
37:24
[SPEAKER_05]: I never forget it.
37:25
[SPEAKER_05]: That's this act like that's the bed.
37:27
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm sitting right here.
37:28
[SPEAKER_05]: My mom was sitting right there.
37:29
[SPEAKER_02]: My mom was mouthened to me is.
37:31
[SPEAKER_02]: She's not going home with you.
37:36
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
37:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm pretty good replete here.
37:38
[SPEAKER_02]: He knows that.
37:38
[SPEAKER_02]: She said it again.
37:39
[SPEAKER_02]: She's not going home with you.
37:44
[SPEAKER_05]: I said, what you mean, that she not going home, like after all the stuff that we didn't already do, we'll do, so she already decided that she wasn't going back home.
37:54
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, because this is home now, you didn't be living for me here, living for a year, or something, so that was the downfall, everything went downhill from there.
38:07
[SPEAKER_05]: So she went home with her.
38:11
[SPEAKER_05]: She ain't even go home with her mom on that's the same part about it.
38:14
[SPEAKER_05]: She went home with her Amy, but you wanted to do this with your mom's situation.
38:18
[SPEAKER_05]: Did all that they went home, we end up going to.
38:29
[SPEAKER_05]: We got I got a fraternity test inside of the hospital and all that.
38:34
[SPEAKER_05]: Uh, because my mom and I allowed that somebody to try to blame a baby on me before and we did all that.
38:41
[SPEAKER_02]: She disappeared.
38:43
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I never told the story like, this is, this is like, she disappeared.
38:49
[SPEAKER_02]: My soul was in the hospital for 77 days.
38:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Give her take.
38:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I was there for 74.
38:55
[SPEAKER_02]: And she wasn't?
38:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Huh.
38:59
[SPEAKER_02]: She came up a couple times.
39:05
[SPEAKER_02]: of the hospital, like, complete, escort it out from the police on, like, day, a couple days before he was getting ready to get released.
39:20
[SPEAKER_05]: And you got to go through a whole lot to take a print to get ready to take a premium baby home, just in case people don't know.
39:28
[SPEAKER_05]: And she shouldn't do that.
39:29
[SPEAKER_05]: So she was trying to come up here this day.
39:36
[SPEAKER_05]: You're telling me now that you want to show up.
39:42
[SPEAKER_05]: I know I did this.
39:43
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm involving all the sleepless nights waking up in the middle of the night because you don't know if he don't make it or not.
39:51
[SPEAKER_05]: Heart dropping out, waking up in cold sweats, not understanding what's really going on.
39:59
[SPEAKER_05]: Did it by myself?
40:01
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm a pair like the nurses and all the reason that they couldn't kick me out because all the nurse was like I thought that he was a band and then he was just here like I don't even know who she is.
40:15
[SPEAKER_05]: So from that forward forward, which ruined a lot of like relationships for me and probably still to this day still kind of in affairs with certain things because I got trust issues.
40:30
[SPEAKER_05]: So it's like, we get this far.
40:34
[SPEAKER_05]: You tell me that you love me this whole time and then your mama decides to pop back up and then you leave.
40:40
[SPEAKER_05]: How did it play out after after I did leave?
40:43
[SPEAKER_05]: After, yeah.
40:44
[SPEAKER_05]: So she wouldn't let my family see the baby.
40:48
[SPEAKER_05]: I would have to go over there because they did get they should they did let her take her take him We would have to go over there.
40:55
[SPEAKER_05]: They win them.
40:56
[SPEAKER_05]: I family see it We ended up in court.
40:58
[SPEAKER_05]: I put myself on child support.
40:59
[SPEAKER_05]: Let me start there.
41:00
[SPEAKER_05]: I put myself on child support And then the fight begin
41:07
[SPEAKER_02]: and it was a fight like it was bad.
41:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, what was your goal?
41:13
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, what were you trying to see when we take the truth?
41:17
[SPEAKER_05]: Man, at this point, I just wanted my family to be able to see my son on.
41:22
[SPEAKER_05]: I was young, I was 21, 16, I'm 36, I was 20.
41:28
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm live in a, I'm, I was living in a highland big town country to answer at this time, like I'm going all over the place, I'm living in my best life, you know what I was saying?
41:36
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, big town country to answer.
41:38
[SPEAKER_05]: But how'd you show the job?
41:39
[SPEAKER_05]: Uh, I'm flipping dipping and spinning and, yeah, all that.
41:44
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
41:44
[SPEAKER_05]: Up above all that.
41:46
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
41:47
[SPEAKER_05]: It's a lot of layers to me.
41:49
[SPEAKER_05]: And so I was like, I know he, I know the kid needs his mother.
41:54
[SPEAKER_05]: And, but you're going, I need my father right, too.
41:57
[SPEAKER_05]: So I wasn't even trying to take him.
42:01
[SPEAKER_05]: We end up going to court.
42:03
[SPEAKER_05]: The judge told us, after I had the paperwork, I had all the documents showing that maybe I should have custody.
42:13
[SPEAKER_05]: But I wouldn't go on for that.
42:15
[SPEAKER_05]: I wasn't.
42:16
[SPEAKER_05]: I was trying to beat.
42:16
[SPEAKER_05]: I was trying to be the best part-time father that you ever sing when I say part-time on time by week on week.
42:22
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, you get your week and I get them every other day, every Thursday with I will do it on a year.
42:29
[SPEAKER_05]: So the judge showed us a quick plan and that struck a nerve.
42:35
[SPEAKER_05]: Because I didn't.
42:35
[SPEAKER_05]: I wouldn't plan.
42:36
[SPEAKER_05]: I stepped up and did
42:45
[SPEAKER_02]: And I went down through there, went down through there.
42:49
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm not done for yet, but my mom owns a bakery.
42:52
[SPEAKER_05]: So he wrote this judge a letter.
42:53
[SPEAKER_05]: They told us to quit playing to figure it out.
42:55
[SPEAKER_05]: They didn't even hear me out.
42:56
[SPEAKER_05]: Didn't hear nothing, and I had to say, you didn't want to see all paperwork.
42:59
[SPEAKER_05]: You want to see nothing?
43:00
[SPEAKER_05]: Every man should be able to pay a certain amount of money in child support.
43:05
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I didn't care.
43:06
[SPEAKER_02]: And nothing that mattered to me.
43:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Few, few weeks or months later,
43:16
[SPEAKER_02]: the judge walked into my mom's bakery.
43:20
[SPEAKER_02]: And my house in the back washing dishes in my mom said, hey, do you remember who this is?
43:25
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, no.
43:29
[SPEAKER_02]: But I have a look.
43:30
[SPEAKER_02]: She was like, I should have just misplomed leaf.
43:34
[SPEAKER_05]: And she said, and I have my son.
43:37
[SPEAKER_05]: I wasn't, at this point I wasn't supposed to have him.
43:39
[SPEAKER_05]: It wasn't my time.
43:41
[SPEAKER_05]: She said, what you doing with him?
43:43
[SPEAKER_05]: She said, whoa, whoa, whoa.
43:45
[SPEAKER_05]: She said, don't even tell me because I don't want to know nothing just in case I have to see you in court again.
43:51
[SPEAKER_05]: And that's where the next fight began.
43:53
[SPEAKER_05]: And even then, even after and it's a lot, it's, that's why, why does you have
44:02
[SPEAKER_05]: At this time, she got pregnant, she got pregnant, and I guess she had got on bear rest of it, however, and I guess we were just in nice best choices of it was mutual decision for you to for it at this time, because it happened twice, it was a mutual decision, and
44:29
[SPEAKER_05]: And then one day she decided she wanted to come grab him back.
44:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And I didn't think that was fair for him or me.
44:36
[SPEAKER_02]: And then it just like I said, it just went from there.
44:40
[SPEAKER_01]: That was a story, play up.
44:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Uh, I got a full kiss here, my son.
44:46
[SPEAKER_02]: How was he?
44:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, you got it.
44:49
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not mistaken.
44:50
[SPEAKER_02]: I think.
44:54
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like two, if I'm not mistaken.
44:56
[SPEAKER_02]: So you've been bad.
44:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I've been bad.
44:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm dad, dad, okay.
45:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm dad, dad, half my mom.
45:02
[SPEAKER_01]: What is that?
45:02
[SPEAKER_01]: What is that change?
45:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Everything.
45:05
[SPEAKER_01]: How so?
45:08
[SPEAKER_05]: Because I had to go from at this point in my life trying to be the best part-time father to understand how to be in the best dad.
45:18
[SPEAKER_02]: And...
45:21
[SPEAKER_05]: I was young, I'm an entrepreneur, I'm a business man, like, I was, I was that let's school to open up my shop.
45:29
[SPEAKER_05]: So now I opened up my shop in my mom's garage and really, he grown up with me.
45:36
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
45:36
[SPEAKER_05]: We raising each other if you want to be honest, I, like, if I'm somewhere, he's somewhere.
45:42
[SPEAKER_05]: And we just, we just went all the way down that line, he grew up in the shop.
45:49
[SPEAKER_05]: and just trying to be the best man that I could because I could never amount up to with my father.
45:59
[SPEAKER_05]: He's, I got to think of that, really do.
46:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was just trying to
46:15
[SPEAKER_05]: First of all, any single mother's watching is I want to say kudos.
46:19
[SPEAKER_05]: I want to say, thank y'all.
46:22
[SPEAKER_05]: I want to say y'all.
46:25
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't care black, white, Mexican Puerto Rican, a single mother.
46:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Raising a child on your own is not a joke.
46:36
[SPEAKER_05]: I have a village.
46:38
[SPEAKER_05]: I got sisters.
46:43
[SPEAKER_05]: Like,
46:45
[SPEAKER_05]: But that's the part that I had to get out of the mood.
46:50
[SPEAKER_05]: If we want to talk about that, that's it, because it's like you don't know.
46:52
[SPEAKER_05]: Kids don't come with a, I'll hear this with you do.
46:56
[SPEAKER_05]: The dad, especially a son in a dad.
46:58
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, man.
46:59
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I, some days, I think I wanted a little girl.
47:04
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
47:05
[SPEAKER_05]: But it's like, it was, we, we were even to this day, even to this day, like I,
47:14
[SPEAKER_02]: He, he message me just last week, he is a school, he said that.
47:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I think I need to see a therapist.
47:26
[SPEAKER_05]: And, you know, I'm like, okay, I don't want to talk about it too, text miss, I'm type person you guys come talk to me.
47:32
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, and that's relationships, I see anything.
47:33
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't want if we friends and it's something important, come talk to me, call me, don't take me.
47:40
[SPEAKER_05]: Take message to that stuff and get misconstrued, especially by me, not being the best reader.
47:44
[SPEAKER_05]: So I was like, let's talk about it.
47:46
[SPEAKER_05]: For him to be able to come and tell me that, mint a lot.
47:50
[SPEAKER_05]: And the pain that he really goes through that he don't show, because I'm the same person, I don't show him, I'll show you.
47:56
[SPEAKER_05]: No reason.
47:57
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm not gonna play.
47:58
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm just gonna bottle it up and keep living that.
48:00
[SPEAKER_05]: That's my son.
48:02
[SPEAKER_05]: And before him to do that, at the age he is.
48:06
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
48:07
[SPEAKER_05]: As a young man, I was like, Kudo, so I feel like I was doing something right.
48:12
[SPEAKER_05]: It's like, it took me a long time to tell anybody that I need a therapist.
48:17
[SPEAKER_02]: What, what is this son told you the most about yourself?
48:25
[SPEAKER_02]: that I'd better than I think I am.
48:33
[SPEAKER_02]: You believe it?
48:34
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
48:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Why is it?
48:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Being honest, I feel like I feel here.
48:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like I've less so many people down.
48:56
[SPEAKER_02]: feel like a while.
49:00
[SPEAKER_02]: My grandfather just passed.
49:03
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been running my shop since I was 18 years old and he never really got to see me great.
49:13
[SPEAKER_05]: I feel like he only got to see me mini-yoker.
49:17
[SPEAKER_05]: That hurt.
49:20
[SPEAKER_05]: My mom, like when I say I got a good family, I got a good family.
49:23
[SPEAKER_05]: Like I'm real, like I'm authentic, like I move back home with my parents.
49:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe like a year ago, it might be too.
49:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And they didn't make me feel no type of way.
49:36
[SPEAKER_05]: They just said, hey, it's time to restructure.
49:37
[SPEAKER_05]: You got to rebuild.
49:38
[SPEAKER_05]: But losing, losing everything when you felt like you were on top of the world.
49:43
[SPEAKER_05]: Probably one of the worst things ever.
49:45
[SPEAKER_02]: People don't understand, it's not about losing the money, it's about losing the things that you do, and even to my mom.
49:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I just feel like I could have been a better son, better brother, I feel like I let my sister stand.
50:04
[SPEAKER_02]: But, you know, we are always critics, you know?
50:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely, man, and you still, you still have that unit.
50:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Last year, uh, did you miss your grandfather, passing, but what kind of conversation did you have with him up until?
50:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Uh, funny.
50:26
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't want to hate when he passed.
50:29
[SPEAKER_05]: I just was up there and I went back to work.
50:32
[SPEAKER_05]: because that's one thing that he was, what you doing?
50:34
[SPEAKER_05]: You were?
50:35
[SPEAKER_05]: All right, you better get it.
50:36
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
50:37
[SPEAKER_05]: You were on your side?
50:38
[SPEAKER_05]: You still doing your shop?
50:39
[SPEAKER_05]: Yes, sir, I'm still doing my shop, all right.
50:42
[SPEAKER_05]: My granddaddy was one of my biggest fans.
50:48
[SPEAKER_05]: And it was, he always wanted to know what I had going on.
50:53
[SPEAKER_05]: He always wanted to know who was next to make that million dollars yet.
51:01
[SPEAKER_05]: And it like, he was just always entuned.
51:05
[SPEAKER_05]: on his last few times that we actually got to talk, he was just, you know, like grandson, I'm just want to let you know in proud of you and, you know, you keep it going, you keep working, you don't stop working.
51:19
[SPEAKER_05]: So the whole time he was in the hospital, I didn't know I can stop.
51:23
[SPEAKER_05]: And I'm not just dealing with that.
51:26
[SPEAKER_05]: I got when I said, when I said we bent, I've been through some
51:33
[SPEAKER_05]: It's, he was just always proud of me even when I feel like I fell down, even when I lost, uh, when my right hand man, uh, stole so much from me and I didn't know if I was going to keep going, like my shop should have been going a long time ago, bro.
51:52
[SPEAKER_05]: Like if I told you everything that I've been through this last past six years, I don't even know why I'm still hanging on some times.
52:00
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to, I want to, I want to zoom in.
52:03
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to breathe past what you said about your, about your grandfather, man.
52:07
[SPEAKER_01]: You had the confirmation, it's all alone.
52:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I know those confirmations, man.
52:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Of course, of course you wanted him to see, that's not how it works on.
52:18
[SPEAKER_01]: What we want to, what guy has planned, he saw enough.
52:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm invious of people.
52:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I never met a grandfather.
52:28
[SPEAKER_01]: My sons have a grandfather.
52:30
[SPEAKER_01]: my dad didn't know his grandfather.
52:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I had both of my grandfather's his dad didn't know his grandfather.
52:36
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm not smiling to be coy or anything when you turn that storm like man.
52:42
[SPEAKER_01]: That's that's phenomenal that you had those conversations and he called man.
52:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, he got in and we we can go on for a day.
52:50
[SPEAKER_01]: He confirmed there.
52:52
[SPEAKER_01]: On to that confirmation man.
52:54
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, out of that confirmation, man, keep going, keep going, but don't, don't put that on a failure that has no basis.
53:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
53:08
[SPEAKER_01]: You wanted him sees something.
53:09
[SPEAKER_01]: He, I'm sure he saw plenty of you.
53:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
53:14
[SPEAKER_01]: To have those.
53:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Contiguous interactions for him to be engaged in concern about what you don't wish a life.
53:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, 96 to... Yeah.
53:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Well done.
53:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
53:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Well done, man.
53:34
[SPEAKER_01]: What, um... First time, yes, I gotta ask you this question.
53:40
[SPEAKER_02]: The whole time, it was this time when I wish my father told me.
53:57
[SPEAKER_05]: That's hard, because one thing about my dad, I still kiss my dad on the forehead, I still kiss my dad on the cheek, my dad, I've always tell me love me, I always tell me it proud of me, so there's really, like I said, I got a good head.
54:14
[SPEAKER_05]: There's nothing that I can even think for my dad to tell me, stop nothing like and I really thought I'm trying to think like,
54:24
[SPEAKER_05]: And we weren't, we weren't, we weren't, like, we were non-ways close.
54:28
[SPEAKER_05]: I didn't get, we didn't get really, really didn't get close close until I opened the mouth shop.
54:33
[SPEAKER_05]: We didn't really get close close until I opened the mouth shop.
54:35
[SPEAKER_05]: And you know, it's too man.
54:37
[SPEAKER_05]: So we didn't, we wasn't, I was a mama's boy honestly, like my mama don't do no wrong.
54:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me ask you this.
54:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh.
54:50
[SPEAKER_01]: You had to benefit the blessing of Father Neckonnexon later in life, but Neckonnexon is not guaranteed for any of us.
55:01
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you focus on with your son to make sure that he doesn't?
55:07
[SPEAKER_01]: They he needs that kind of distance from you.
55:11
[SPEAKER_01]: I did the same to my dad.
55:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, right.
55:13
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm grateful that he's still alive to go here and offers me sound godly wisdom.
55:20
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, because my dad was a, my dad was, my dad was a, he was that move count on the trunk dude.
55:29
[SPEAKER_05]: He was cat daddy.
55:31
[SPEAKER_05]: My daddy was,
55:33
[SPEAKER_05]: He was a fighter and my dad, he was a hustler, he won't.
55:39
[SPEAKER_05]: So I saw so many different forms of my father.
55:42
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
55:43
[SPEAKER_05]: I've seen my dad to have to put his pride to the side.
55:47
[SPEAKER_05]: I've seen my dad like, you can only tell God what you can do and to God, I humble you and I saw my dad have to go through the
56:03
[SPEAKER_05]: and so for when it comes to my son, I'm always kind of, I kiss my son, even to this they must have 16 years old.
56:13
[SPEAKER_05]: If he get up to school, if he get up to college school, he don't want to eat, or you not go hug me, or you try to be funny.
56:19
[SPEAKER_05]: you know what I'm saying?
56:20
[SPEAKER_05]: So I always installed into my son like, because at the end of the day, we were all we had forever.
56:26
[SPEAKER_05]: And I got a good lady around right now.
56:28
[SPEAKER_05]: So I can't even like, but it was like, we were all we had.
56:33
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
56:35
[SPEAKER_05]: That's my dude like I'm calling him right now.
56:38
[SPEAKER_05]: I ain't gonna be like that like what you good You straight dad or but I have stopped like here to like we went out to eat the other day And he was like hey dad.
56:46
[SPEAKER_05]: I you know, I got this one.
56:49
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
56:50
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's just like I try to install and him the most is I Want you to carry yourself like it sure
57:03
[SPEAKER_05]: your next big blessing.
57:05
[SPEAKER_05]: You never know who's looking at you when you walk outside.
57:07
[SPEAKER_05]: I want you to carry yourself like that.
57:08
[SPEAKER_05]: I want you to carry yourself to where you could be talking to the right person to change your life because that ain't not going to always be around.
57:15
[SPEAKER_04]: It's very true.
57:17
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm not going to always be able to fix it.
57:20
[SPEAKER_05]: So I want you to understand with me or without me I need you to understand who you are and what you stand for.
57:28
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm not telling you to make your babe because I want to be on your nerve.
57:30
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm telling you to make your babe because that's the first important thing that you do because I was praying to morning.
57:35
[SPEAKER_02]: You've got to accomplish something and if you don't accomplish anything, at least you can come home to a maypad.
57:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Been talking about your shot, man.
57:47
[SPEAKER_01]: As we started to wind down.
57:50
[SPEAKER_05]: What do you do mention the bakery that's so ad hoc with the yeah bakery my mom we on a bakery your family home bakery uh It's cake lady as America's antique people know her from all over the world we ship all over the world
58:08
[SPEAKER_05]: That's the most amazing lady that you'll ever meet in your life.
58:11
[SPEAKER_05]: So I help.
58:12
[SPEAKER_05]: And like we got an event coming up, foody land in Houston.
58:15
[SPEAKER_05]: So we'll be out there and then we do foody land here in Dallas.
58:18
[SPEAKER_05]: And then we got key fleas of it coming up the way I have to do.
58:22
[SPEAKER_04]: No, I'm just.
58:23
[SPEAKER_05]: Yep.
58:23
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, the family day.
58:25
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, the family day.
58:26
[SPEAKER_05]: So yeah, he called her personally.
58:28
[SPEAKER_05]: So it was it liked to be able to see things like that really inspired me.
58:32
[SPEAKER_05]: Me personally on the body shop.
58:34
[SPEAKER_05]: I feel cars.
58:36
[SPEAKER_05]: We do restoration.
58:37
[SPEAKER_05]: I do some Cleaver and Pear, but I do more restoration work than anything.
58:42
[SPEAKER_05]: I do some orchestration and redo roofs, things of that nature as well.
58:46
[SPEAKER_05]: Then I was really, really big and public speaking before COVID and COVID slowly down.
58:52
[SPEAKER_05]: I never got the motivation to be able to push back.
58:55
[SPEAKER_05]: It was hard to get into these schools and into these offices and it's like, now I gotta try to get that traction back.
59:00
[SPEAKER_02]: But God gives you a purpose.
59:08
[SPEAKER_02]: and my purpose is to help people, and to see people grow.
59:12
[SPEAKER_05]: My passion was cars, but that was my stage for my purpose to speak.
59:18
[SPEAKER_05]: So that's kind of like, you know, churches in the heart.
59:21
[SPEAKER_05]: We can go have church service, outside.
59:23
[SPEAKER_05]: We can go have church service, and that was my pulpit.
59:26
[SPEAKER_05]: That's where I was able to help save people, and I didn't even know until way later in life.
59:32
[SPEAKER_05]: But now that's where I read.
59:33
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm a painter, well-dured.
59:35
[SPEAKER_05]: I can do it all, but...
59:37
[SPEAKER_05]: That's what I do when I base a lot of stuff off cars.
59:41
[SPEAKER_05]: That's just like anything in life if you really want it and you want to fix it, you've got to take yourself back down to the bare bones.
59:48
[SPEAKER_05]: Before you can ever really attack the problems that you really have as a man, you really got to strip yourself.
59:54
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, so when you come to cars, when people were store cars, they do what.
59:58
[SPEAKER_05]: They take everything to the front, and start from from the structure, and they start from the
1:00:05
[SPEAKER_05]: And when people can, when man could put their pride aside, and start from that, then that's when they got the opportunity to really be great.
1:00:14
[SPEAKER_05]: You could put lipstick on a pig.
1:00:16
[SPEAKER_05]: Tell me it's not a pig.
1:00:19
[SPEAKER_05]: Most people glamour theirself up with shoes and clothes.
1:00:23
[SPEAKER_05]: They do this, are going the gym and put just designer on it and think that they're okay.
1:00:29
[SPEAKER_05]: No, it's a cop out on telling people how you really feel.
1:00:32
[SPEAKER_05]: It's a cop-out because you'll rather than ask about your designer than ask about how you really do it.
1:00:38
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm known as one of the strong ones, I can handle anything, any type of pressure.
1:00:44
[SPEAKER_05]: Don't nobody ever want to read the book, they only want to see.
1:00:48
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh my God, he smiled and he's doing it.
1:00:51
[SPEAKER_05]: I got a tattoo on my chest, chest, it says, can you see me?
1:00:56
[SPEAKER_05]: And it says can you see me because it's way deeper than can you see me, right?
1:01:00
[SPEAKER_05]: Can you really see me or do you just see what you want to see?
1:01:06
[SPEAKER_01]: How can people find you if you want to be fine?
1:01:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, man.
1:01:09
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, so if they want to find me,
1:01:14
[SPEAKER_05]: Tiktok is my main thing.
1:01:16
[SPEAKER_05]: That's why I do a lot of my motivations of it.
1:01:18
[SPEAKER_05]: So you can find me on the, and just spade a custom for the Z on Tiktok.
1:01:22
[SPEAKER_05]: Sure.
1:01:23
[SPEAKER_05]: Instagram is just spade a custom.
1:01:25
[SPEAKER_05]: You will see my logo up there.
1:01:27
[SPEAKER_05]: It's a white and black logo.
1:01:29
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm not really on Facebook or whole bunch, but it's gonna be TJ, ASTJ jacks on them on Facebook.
1:01:36
[SPEAKER_01]: It just appeared across the screen.
1:01:38
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're watching, if you're listening, it'll be,
1:01:42
[SPEAKER_01]: in the description.
1:01:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Man, this has been a long-time conversation.
1:01:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, sir.
1:01:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Glad we had it, man.
1:01:49
[SPEAKER_05]: Yes, sir.
1:01:50
[SPEAKER_05]: This can't be the last one.
1:01:51
[SPEAKER_05]: You got some stories.
1:01:52
[SPEAKER_05]: You really?
1:01:52
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm here.
1:01:54
[SPEAKER_05]: I got some stuff.
1:01:56
[SPEAKER_05]: I got some being a father, entrepreneur, father is one of the hardest things that people don't understand.
1:02:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm understanding that now.
1:02:04
[SPEAKER_01]: So it success was incorporated now.
1:02:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm finding my way.
1:02:08
[SPEAKER_05]: It's an, it's a lot to find your way though.
1:02:10
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
1:02:10
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
1:02:10
[SPEAKER_05]: If it's this, now, this, you, you thought kid wouldn't raise no kids, then have no, this really, is it be in the air?
1:02:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
1:02:17
[SPEAKER_01]: So tell it to different, tell it to have, man, because that my older kids saw a version of me, my younger kids only know this version of me.
1:02:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I've been this version more of their alert life, you know what I'm saying?
1:02:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
1:02:32
[SPEAKER_01]: So they see life through a lens of
1:02:35
[SPEAKER_05]: It's an act.
1:02:37
[SPEAKER_05]: That's why I can give up because my son is looking he's looking.
1:02:40
[SPEAKER_01]: He's looking We'll get back at at the appropriate time, but that's gonna do it for this episode We appreciate you guys got bless you peace