Latest / Beyond Sovereignty / #023 - Will Celibacy CURE Your Relationships? 💫💖

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#023 - Will Celibacy CURE Your Relationships? 💫💖 · Beyond Sovereignty

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Are you actually self-respecting? Or are you f***ing your energy away
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by sleeping with lots of people? When to break your celibacy? It
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would be based on these things. Men, once they break up
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with somebody, it's encouraged. Just go out and f*** a whole lot of chicks. It'll just
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make you feel better. Does it though? Or does it create energetic entanglements
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that are not for your greatest service? Masturbation. Is that making me
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celibate or not celibate? If you do personally have addictive patterns,
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then I would be saying... Welcome Wisdom Keepers, Soul Tribe
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and New Earth Leaders to Soul Temple, your haven for growth
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and self-discovery. I am Blythe Langford and I'm going
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to be your guide to helping you find yourself and
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your true purpose. Together, let's shift from feeling stuck
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and misaligned to living a life of purpose and
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pleasure and prosperity. This
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is a super controversial episode, FYI. We're talking
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about celibacy, preventing narcissism, codependency, and
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just my own personal beliefs. So take it with a grain of salt because
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it's not for everybody. Or is it? I don't know.
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The people that it's not for, you probably just haven't given it a go. But
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the point of this episode is to empower you sexually and
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the usual way of doing things and what society tells us is right
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and what, you know, our family and friends have been like commonly
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saying rather than actually putting what is going to be of
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best service to us. That's why I want to talk about celibacy and
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sexual detox. This is something that I
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have only come to experience hilarious
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since I have become awake. Prior to
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this, I was the complete opposite. If I'd broken up with
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somebody, I was out there fucking everybody. Let me tell you, I was very promiscuous as
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a teenager and as in my young 20s. And
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then when I had my grand awakening, I don't even know when that was,
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25, 26, I don't know, something like that, then everything shifted and changed because
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I could actually, through deep meditations, tune in
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and be like, whoa, this is out of alignment. Whoa, the
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body actually needs to cleanse after it's broken up with somebody. Whoa, I'm
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creating energetic entanglements inside of me with people
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that I don't even know, like, or trust. Right?
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And I feel like this is what's happening to so many people. Society tells
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us that, you know, or our family has actually now
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been telling us, or our friends, it's like, once you break up with somebody, oh, just go
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out there and just go fuck somebody, you know, it's fine. Like, even
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me as a conscious person, one of my best friends was like, Blythe,
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it's been a long time since you've been with somebody. I think you should just go out and fuck some guys. I
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was like, Holy moly, that is so
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not going to happen. Because for me personally, I'm
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only going to sleep with somebody that I think is going to be somebody that
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is going to be a life partner because that is what is in alignment with me. I'm not
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just going to go out and just fuck people for the sake of fucking people, right? I've
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been there. I've done that. It doesn't make you happy and
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it energetically entangles you. So I'm here to
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talk about different ways that we can detox
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sexually and then also I'm here to actually talk to you about your
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body as well. So the divine intelligence with
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your sexual consciousness because your genitals
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have their own consciousness, right? Just like your heart center, your
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brain, your gut, they all have their own consciousness.
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So mind, heart, gut and your genitals.
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So I want to talk to you about that because most people are like What
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the fuck? That's like so creepy and not even a
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thing. Yeah, it totally is. So I did a beautiful tantra
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course, I've mentioned this before, with an amazing woman named Tara
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Fisher, and went deep dive into
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male genitalia, female genitalia, and actually what happens with
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the genitals when a couple have been in a sacred union for a
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long period of time, because their genitals have their own consciousness,
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then they actually start to get to know each other. and it doesn't
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happen in a short amount of time. It happens in 20 years plus. Once
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people have been sleeping together, once people have been in a loving relationship
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where they know love and actually trust and feel safe
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with each other, then the genitals will start to become in a
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divine union and the whole relationship
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of the consciousness of their genitals actually changes. They get to know
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each other. So this is why I feel like there is such a big breakdown of
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the family unit and why people aren't, you
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know, once you get over somebody it's like, oh well just fuck it, fuck the
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relationship off, just find somebody new, get into a new relationship. And
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that's why I feel like people are just going from relationship to relationship because there
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is this undercurrent, this under-thread of society that
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is like, doesn't matter, just divorce them, go out with the next person, you know,
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move on, evolve and grow. So that we never have this
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sacred union in relationships, so that we never experience
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our genitals actually coming together in this divine
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union. Because I know that I want that in my life, like when
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I started hearing about this I was like, Oh my gosh, this is so
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beautiful and it makes so much sense that of course we would be misguided and
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guided away from actually resolving and
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solving and getting to know somebody at the depths where
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our bodies actually are like becoming
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together, not as one, but in a divine partnership. And
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that's what partnership really is. People talk about being in divine partnership, but
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what it actually means is the consciousness of our genitals and our
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bodies become so safe and
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so elevated and expanded, and the
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consciousness of us actually grows to a whole new level. Because
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I also feel a lot of people that I've worked with in the past is like, You
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know, I got into a relationship with somebody, I even got married to somebody and I
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hadn't even asked them what they wanted to do with the rest of their lives. And then
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it wasn't until after our kids were of a certain age
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that we were like, we're so different, we don't even actually want the same
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things. And so then it becomes like, well, can we
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grow together? Or is this something that we end and
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we choose different paths? But I personally believe
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that every relationship is salvageable. I personally believe
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that every relationship, if we want to meet each other at
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great depths, then it doesn't matter if we have all of
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the same outlooks on life. As long as we want
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to be in a divine relationship where we're respectful of each
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other, then it can actually work and grow and
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evolve into the most beautiful sacred union. And I also
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believe that some relationships should come to an end as well if it's
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unhealthy and there is no respect between both parties.
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Anyway, went on tangent. Let's get back to it. We're talking about
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sexual detox. We're talking about sexual detox. Bringing it back. So
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I personally believe when we end a relationship
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there is nothing more sacred than energetically cleansing
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ourselves at a sexual level. Now what I
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mean by that is once you've broken up with somebody it's
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a space and time to and I'm talking about a relationship that's
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probably been over three or six months you know so something where it's all
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where you've been deeply in love with somebody or deeply in
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lust with somebody that it is so and sexual with somebody as
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well that it is so important to have
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some time away from another relationship so to
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create some space because that is when we
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can have profound insights profound healing in our
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patterns, in our triggers, in our dependency, in
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our narcissistic behaviours, how we responded through sacred masculine
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and sacred feminine or juvenile masculine and juvenile feminine,
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where it was how we played our toxic roles. And
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so we can just really reflect and have this time to ourselves
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to actually see who we are at the core. and
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who we want to be moving forward. And was that relationship actually,
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especially if it's a relationship that we've come out of where we're like, we didn't
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want to break up with the person where we were broken up with and we actually really want
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to be with that person. How can we reflect on
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all of these feelings and whether they are healthy and
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whether it was a divine union that we actually wanted to still be
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in, or whether it was an addictive pattern, whether it was more of
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a codependency that was filling a void within
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us, rather than it being a divine union and divine
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partnership that we actually were both involved in. Because
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so many of us, when we're broken up with, we're like, oh my gosh,
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I just want to be with that person. But when we actually think about
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the relationship and what it was and how we were in
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that relationship, it can be like, yeah, I want to be with that person because it
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helped me avoid my feelings and helped me to
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avoid these experiences that I'm actually growing through in my life.
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And it wasn't actually a partnership. It was potentially
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a codependent relationship and you're probably the
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codependent and you were with somebody that had more.
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rejecting issues. I don't want to say narcissists, we all have narcissism inside
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of us, but maybe you were with somebody that was more narcissistic or
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was somebody that was playing out a parental role and
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a wound within you that is unhealed. So it
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is so important when we break up with somebody that we
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have these times to reflect on the relationship and
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to reflect what is coming up within us, you
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know, and People
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can be like, no, well, it's just sad when you break up with somebody. Yes and
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no. My last relationship that I had was
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the most beautiful divine connection on
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all levels and layers. Physically, emotionally, spiritually,
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psychically, we were able to communicate when we weren't even together. a
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phenomenal relationship and breaking up was
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not hard. It was so beautiful because I
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was so grateful for that relationship because it showed
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me what is possible in relationships. What
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I realized was that, you know, if this is what this
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relationship is showing me now, I'm so excited for
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what's next to come because the next relationship will be even better
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because I've taken the time after we've broken up to not
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be with anybody else. to not have any energetics coming
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into my body so that my body and my genitals can actually detox out
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what was there from that relationship. And in
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that detox, like if you've ever done a detox, then you know.
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And if you haven't done a detox, then you're welcome to this information
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that every detox provides you so much insight and
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information. When we are celibate from
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whether it be sex or we take time away from food,
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then our body actually releases so much emotion and so much
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baggage that really isn't serving us. And when we
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go into celibate times, the body does the exact same
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thing. It provides us so much information and so much
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insight into that relationship, and it
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allows us to become initiated into the next step of our life. And
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I find this with a lot of my clients and a lot of my friends when they just go from one
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relationship to another, the next relationship doesn't get better than
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the last. Sometimes they can go through a series of really toxic relationships.
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And I personally believe through what I have witnessed,
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when people go from one relationship to the other, it's because they
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haven't taken that time to detox and be with themselves. The
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next relationship doesn't grow and evolve because you're not initiated into
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the next stage of who you are. Whereas people
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like myself that have taken time after
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each relationship and detox and been celibate, every
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relationship gets better. The next relationship gets
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better and better and better because they have got the initiations. They
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have got the great understanding of who they are, of
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what their body desires. They have got that energetic cleansing.
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There is no entanglements anymore. so
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that their next relationship gets better and better. And
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now there are people out there that are poly and sleeping with
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all different kinds of people and this information probably
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isn't for you. You know you've got your own way of doing life and I
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respect you and I love you because you are also my friends. There is so many of my friends
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that are poly and in relationships like that. and that's completely different.
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I'm not poly so I don't have that experience. I'm only talking
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from my own experience and from what I have seen with
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people that are monogamous in relationships. Now you can think that
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this is just for women that I'm speaking to and
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it's not. It's literally for men and women. What I have
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come to realise is it's almost like Men,
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once they break up with somebody, it's encouraged. Just go out and fuck a whole lot
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of chicks and then you're like, you know, you'll figure out who you want to be with
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or it'll just make you feel better. Does
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it though? Or does it create energetic entanglements that
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are not for your greatest service? The man that takes the time and space after
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he's broken up with somebody to energetically heal, to
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detox his body, to have time with himself, to
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learn what is growing through him, will actually then
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go into a divine union, a divine relationship with
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his next partner. And the next relationship will
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be what he's actually after in this
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world. And it will be that divine relationship,
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whether it's for a short period of a long period, it's irrelevant. It will be a
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beautiful partnership that they have been able to cultivate
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from celibacy and from sexual detox and
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being by themselves to actually know what their heart really
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desires, what their body really desires, and being able
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to find that in the next relationship that they really
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want to be in. And they'll be a lot more discerning with
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who they do and don't share a relationship with, who
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they have sex with. It'll be completely different. Whereas man
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number two, who goes around and will just like... fuck
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anybody once he comes out of a relationship just wants to like get it all done
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get that energy out of himself because that's a male energy to
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penetrate to get energy out and so when they go and
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sleep with multiple women they're literally just penetrating energy
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left right and center and they're not really aware
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that they're actually on so many
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different layers, like let's say that they are projecting that energy
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out to a whole lot of different women, but then they're also creating entanglements, energetic
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entanglements within their body. And so they're never actually really clear
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about the relationship that they want to get into, and they'll end up
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just getting into a relationship with somebody just
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because they're energetically and sexually tired of fucking multiple
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women, and they're not even realizing that that's what's actually happening. they
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end up just going into a space where they're like, yep, the next one will do. And
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because they're energetically and sexually tired, they end up in
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a relationship that they might not be consciously or
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is for their highest and greater good. It just ends up being because of this
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penetrative tiredness. And so that's
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just something that I've come to realise. And it's generally the guys that are like, oh,
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you know, I was with this chick and then like she felt pregnant. So now we're in a relationship and
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we're making it work and it's okay. like compared to
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a man that's like, I took some time away from having relationships to
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figure out what I really, really yearned for and now I'm in
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a relationship with a woman and we are, it
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gives me goosebumps just thinking about it and we are doing life together. Like
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I'm healed, she's healed, neither of us are codependent, neither
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of us are narcissistic and we're growing and evolving together and
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it is beautiful and I love it and I am
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in love with this woman like I never thought love could actually
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be. We just turn each other on the more
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time that we spend with each other. And our sex and
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our lovemaking is like we have never experienced before. And
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the amount of years that we're together, it gets better and better and better. Rather
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than the person, the man number two, where it's like, we make it
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work. It's really great. sometimes, you
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know. So it's just deciding like what in
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life it is that you actually really want because man number two,
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and it's the same with women number two, when you're going out and fucking then
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getting into a relationship, then I find that they're the couples that
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generally yearn for something else in their relationship.
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They're the couples that will generally, you know, have, be
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in poly relationships that yearn for other people to come into their
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relationship because there is something that's lacking
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in their relationship. And they will generally go into,
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you know, having multiple partners. So those people will generally become swingers
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and have all of these other things outside of their relationship to
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satisfy their relationship. And these are a lot of my friends and
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there is nothing wrong with that. And also it
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would be, for me, just a reflection is like, how did we
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go into that relationship? Were we sexually detoxed?
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Were we celibate? And this is definitely a part
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of our relationship that is expansive and we love it.
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And I'm not talking about that. That's totally awesome. deep
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inner knowing of who you are and what you guys want from your relationship and I fucking support and
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respect that. I'm not talking about that at all. I'm talking about people
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that have been around like just fucking for the sake of fucking because they
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haven't had the capacity or the bandwidth to
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be by themselves and they end up in this next relationship unfulfilled
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and they do these extra things because they're deeply yearning for
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something else and for somebody else but they're stuck
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in a relationship rather than have chosen a partnership. So
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that's totally what I'm here for and that's what I'm sharing about.
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You might be thinking, well what about masturbation, Blythe? Is that making me
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celibate or not celibate? Great question. Great
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question. Because that also depends on
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the person and it depends on what ideology
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you believe in or you want to try
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out. I would say give it a go both ways, you
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know. For me personally, I can
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only say that when I am speaking to
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women about this or when I am speaking to men about this, I take
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it as a case-by-case basis. Because if you're being
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celibate but then you're masturbating a few times a day, then
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I don't believe that is celibacy. I believe that is self-pleasuring
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and just replacing one with another. And that can be you still
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being in an addictive pattern. If you do personally have addictive
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patterns, then I would be saying, yeah, don't masturbate for
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a period of time and give yourself that space. Or
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just bringing in masturbation like just a few times, like
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if you were masturbating like five times a day, then bring in masturbation maybe twice
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a week or once a week. as a pleasure activity where
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you're using that as a gifting process to yourself rather
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than just a way of getting off and avoiding your feelings and avoiding being
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with the emotions and the expressions that are coming up
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with the insights because if you are just like masturbating all the
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time then you're still choosing
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an addictive pattern like numbing out. It's the same as drinking. It's
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the same as gambling. It's the same as sexting. It's
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the same as shopping. It's the same as just being on your devices.
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It's a way of numbing out the feelings that are there. I don't believe
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that celibacy needs to be without masturbation. I just
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believe it needs to be on a case-by-case basis for
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the individual and making sure that it's a time of loving
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the self rather than a time of avoiding the self
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so it's just something for you to be really aware of and you
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know like I'm gonna be really honest with you I've been
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celibate for quite a long time and I go through periods
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where there is no masturbation for periods of time just
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because of just because and then there's periods of
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time where there is a lot of masturbation because it's like this
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is really it's beautiful and I'm working
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with my body and I'm also using masturbation as
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a manifestation tool, not only for a partnership or
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anything like that, but I literally use masturbation as a tool for
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manifesting things in, for bringing sexual energy in
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to amplify the visions that I have for
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my life, for myself, for this world. I literally
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use that sexual energy as a manifestation tool. So
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I'm not against masturbation
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or anything like that, but I am about, you know me, Capricorn,
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Leo, Virgo, very heady and logical
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and elemental. So it's like, how can I use this
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sexual energy for what it is that I want to create in this world? I
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use it as a creativity energy because that's exactly what it
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is. It's for creation. So if I'm not with a man, if
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I'm not in a relationship, how can I use this energy still to create?
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Because it's a creation that comes through me to express into
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the world. So when you are figuring out when to break
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your celibacy, it would be based on these things. You
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will have had great insight from your sexual detox. Now, I personally think
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that it takes six months to have a sexual detox from a relationship. So
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six months time with yourself and not having sex with anybody else.
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It does not mean that you can't be in a relationship with somebody,
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but it might mean that you just don't have sex with that next person. However,
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I personally believe that celibacy is time away from another person and
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from a relationship so that your body can energetically release from
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that. And that it's also when you know the
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kind of relationship that you want to be in, because then you can actually
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assess a person and be like, this is the kind of relationship I
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want to be in. What kind of relationship do you want to be in? And if it's a match, then
22:00
fuck, it might be time to break the celibacy. But if
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it's like, I just want to fuck people and I don't even want to do all these
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things that you want in your life, then it's like, This person isn't a match. Don't fuck
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them. Don't be with them. Choose somebody else that's going
22:13
to be in alignment with what it is that you actually want. Because
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remember, we're energetic beings. We're on a planet that's based on energy. Everything
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is energy. So if you're saying to the world, I want this relationship, and
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then you're fucking these people that are not in alignment, with the relationship
22:28
that you want, then the universe is going to give you more of what you're actually doing, not
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what you're actually wanting. So, don't do
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those things that you don't want because you're creating an energy
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around that that is drawing in more of these things that
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you don't want. Stay strong. Stay true to what it is that you absolutely want
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and you will get more of that. Now, even if you haven't just
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come out of a relationship but you are single, then celibacy can
22:54
be something that you can look into because you might have been
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masturbating to porn, you might have been having one night
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stands, you might have been doing some kinky random shit that's
23:05
just helping you get off, right? Well, then yes,
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I would 100% try out celibacy and
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try out not masturbating for a period of time. and
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working with your energy in different ways. How could you do
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that? Through exercise, through creativity, through creating in
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another way, right? And just knowing that when these feelings
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are coming up, are you avoiding the feelings that are coming up
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by just needing to blow your load in some way, right?
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So working with that energy to create, because remember,
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it's creator energy. And so once you can start to bring your
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creator energy on side, you will be unstoppable with what you want
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to create in this world. You will be unstoppable with what you want to birth
23:48
into this world. And also using that creativity energy
23:52
to think about the relationship that you really want to bring in. like
23:55
spending time on that. Yes, so if you are single and you have been single
23:59
for a while, then a sexual detox, then celibacy can
24:02
be profound in what it is that you want to birth into the world. Celibacy
24:06
is amazing for single people. Now, if you're in a
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relationship, I don't know. I don't think it's really, really worth
24:13
it. Like, unless your fucking is just for the sake of fucking, then yeah, have
24:16
a period of time without having sex and make sure that the sex
24:19
that you have is, like, scrumptious. And absolutely
24:23
do that. Make time for it. If you've been in a relationship for a long time, it's
24:26
your responsibility to have divine sex, divine lovemaking. And
24:30
it's your responsibility to make the time for that, the same that you need to make the time for
24:34
making kids breakfast in the morning. It's as important, right?
24:38
Being in a relationship with somebody is a responsibility and
24:42
it's up to us to be responsible for everything that we choose. We
24:46
get to choose that and people can be like, fuck you Blithe, you don't have kids, you
24:50
don't know how hard it is. Correct, I don't. I don't. I've
24:53
only had businesses and teams and been
24:56
obsessed with work. So it's been for me and family and
25:00
friends and all of those things and a farm and 1,200 fruit
25:03
trees. It's like, how can we prioritize those things rather than just fitting them in?
25:07
How can you prioritise your lovemaking so you're not just fitting it into your
25:10
life, you know? Because when you can come from it from that space, then
25:14
it is as important as drinking water and
25:17
you don't go dehydrated. It's just how important
25:21
it is. I believe in a relationship is loving,
25:24
is so important. And celibacy is
25:28
equally important when you're in between relationships. Thank you
25:32
so much for joining me on Soul Temple. If this episode spoke to
25:35
your soul, I would love your support with a five-star review on Apple
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Podcasts and Spotify. And don't forget, please subscribe
25:42
on your favorite platform too. Don't let your journey end here. Connect with
25:45
me and my like-minded community of beautiful souls at
25:48
Blythe Blankford on all social platforms. I look