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When a narcissist loses respect for you · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful people?
• 0:02
  Welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
• 0:04
  I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist Mr. Lee Hammock,
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is your first time I see my
• 0:12
  face and hear my lovely voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
• 0:15
  narcissist and I use my platform on social media to raise
• 0:18
  awareness for NPD, get more people into therapy and also
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  validate the victims, survivors and the thrivers of said
• 0:24
  disorder. Said toxic people, said toxic
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  traits. Today's episode y'all it's going
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  to be about when a narcissist loses respect for you.
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  When does a narcissist lose respect for you?
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  Let me go ahead and stop you right there, Lee.
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  I don't give a damn when they lose respect for us.
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  We never we never respected the narcissists in any way or they
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  never respected us from the beginning of y'all.
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  Just bear with me. Just let this y'all y'all know
• 0:45
  I'm going to make y'all you already know for this video will
• 0:48
  be fired. So just stay tuned for The
• 0:50
  Blaze, You know what I mean? Before hopping this episode,
• 0:52
  y'all check out the Self Love brand.
• 0:54
  The I Love Me brand. I'm strong right here.
• 0:56
  I'm strong, thriving, all the other good stuff.
• 0:59
  But yeah, yeah, y'all, yes, yes, yes.
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  Narcissistic, toxic people. When do they lose respect for
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  you? So first of all, y'all
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  narcissist. A lot of narcissists do respect
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  you in the beginning. They respect you more in the
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  beginning then they do in the end.
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  I'll say that. And then the the the opposite
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  can be true from the the the other person's perspective as
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  well. The person dealing with the
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  narcissist, the codependent person, whoever you are, you
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  know the opposite is true. No, the the most love you're
• 1:30
  going to get from a narcissist is typically in the beginning of
• 1:33
  the relationship as well. You know the most love and
• 1:35
  respect and kindness you're going to get is typically going
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  to be in the beginning and it kind of kind of all goes
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  downhill. A relationship with a narcissist
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  typically starts at the peak. The beginning is probably the
• 1:48
  best it's going to get. You know what I mean?
• 1:50
  The beginning of a relationship with a narcissist is probably
• 1:53
  the best is going to get best. I'm right this now y'all doesn't
• 1:59
  be a video best it's going to get.
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  The beginning is the best it's going to get.
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  So they respect you at the beginning of y'all because, like
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  in the beginning of relationship with y'all, with a narcissist,
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  I, as a nurse in myself, I want, I I do care about you.
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  I do respect you. I do love you.
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  I think you are the perfect person for me.
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  I think you are all all kind. You, you or you make my light my
• 2:24
  life up. And I want to show you that you
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  light my life up. I want you to feel like you
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  light my life up, right. I want you.
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  I want you to know that you light my life up, right?
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  But when the love bombing phase ends, when the idea, when the
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  idealization phase ends is when things things start to go
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  downhill. When the narcissistic person who
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  originally thought that you were perfect starts to see your flaws
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  as a human being. And yes, y'all.
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  We are all flawed human beings. Nobody is perfect.
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  You see what I'm saying? Nobody is perfect.
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  Does not be trying to take shots.
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  Anybody. I know I'm not perfect.
• 3:00
  Nobody on the earth is perfect. You see what I'm saying?
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  So in that situation or in that dynamic, in that circumstance
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  right there, then our statistic person, once they start to see
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  your flaws, they think you lied to them.
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  So during the devaluation phase, when you when they start to see
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  your flaws, they start to lose respect for you, then you know
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  what I mean? They start to disrespect you.
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  They start to devalue you. Once they see your flaws, they
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  feel like you lied to them. You've been dishonest to me
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  about who you are. You presented a different person
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  to me than who I thought you were.
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  And I know what y'all going to say, Lee.
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  That's exactly what the narcissist does.
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  Yeah. Yeah, yes, yeah.
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  You you see how the project, You see how projection works.
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  You see well, listen to guys Projection.
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  No, but that you. But you see how that works right
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  there. You understand the dynamic.
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  You see the mindset of it all right there, you see.
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  That's where it goes. Like they think you lied to them
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  because they were lying to you. You see what I'm saying?
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  They look at you like you were perfect, but now they feel like
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  you disrespected them and you lied to me.
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  Now you're revealing your now you are revealing your true
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  colors. So it's time for me to reveal
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  mine, you know? So yeah, they lose respect for
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  you. They start to devalue you.
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  They start to give you less, give you less of everything,
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  including respect, including honesty, including love and
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  affection. They start to give you less.
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  And yeah, there's no set timetable on this either,
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  because that's a question a lot of people ask me.
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  How long does this phase last? How long does it last?
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  There's no set timetable on when they start to see you
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  differently. They can start to see you
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  differently. A weekend, a month in, a year
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  in. There's no set timetable.
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  And even if they start seeing you differently early on,
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  there's no guarantee that they would start treating you
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  differently early on. Because a lot of times we start
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  like we kind of like narcissists in our heads.
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  We kind of gaslight ourselves to just say no, I'm seeing things.
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  That's not who they really are, like I'm seeing.
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  So I'm convincing myself that there something is wrong with
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  them. You said some narcissists gas
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  like themselves, so the gas like you two you sell, nurses lie and
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  gas like themselves as well, like to and gas like themselves
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  as well, you know. So in a lot of these situations,
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  in a lot of these spaces and a lot of these dynamics, it goes
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  like that. Y'all they want you to feel a
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  certain type of way. So they they take it away.
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  They start stripping you of their love.
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  They start stripping you of their care.
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  They start stripping you of the defection and things that of
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  that nature. They start stripping it from
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  you. They don't feel like you deserve
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  it. Keep it high.
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  Let's keep it high. They don't feel like you deserve
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  it. So they take it from you.
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  They want to take it from you. They want to distribute it from
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  you because it don't feel like you deserve it.
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  They feel like anybody else, other than anybody else in this
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  world deserves it other than you.
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  I know that sucks to say. I know that sucks to be a part
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  of, but I'm just being honest with you.
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  That's how it goes. They they start to lose respect
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  for you. And one of the main moments like
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  they start to lose respect for you in the beginning.
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  Once they once you reveal your true colors, you, you dastardly
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  empathetic person, you dastardly you, you see what I'm saying?
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  They start to look at you differently, so they start to
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  lose respect for you then. But here is one of the main
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  moments. Y'all.
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  And then please bear with me and also understand that my intent
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  here is to not disrespect y'all I know my it might the impact
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  might be different. You know, I'm always, I'm always
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  impact over intent. My intentions here are to just
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  tell you to be be real and honest with you right here.
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  Y'all. So I hope the impact is good,
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  but you know what I mean. So one of the main times that a
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  narcissist will lose respect for you is when you put up with
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  their stuff is when you keep forgiving them and you keep
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  taking them back. No matter what they do to you,
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  they look, they look at you, they start to look down on you
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  more and more and more. You see what I'm saying?
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  The more that you, the more that you ride or die for this person,
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  the less they they care about you.
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  The less they respect you. You know the more person they
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  they don't respect you. They are cheating on you or
• 6:57
  putting their hands on you. Whatever they're doing, they
• 6:59
  don't respect you in that mindset anyway.
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  But when they start doing, like, when they start exemplifying it,
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  when they start putting it out there, they they don't care like
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  that. That hurts more.
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  You see what I'm saying? That does.
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  They can do more damage to you right there, you know, Because a
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  lot of people, a lot of times in this situation, that's what
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  happens, y'all you know, that's what happens.
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  Like the more you forgive them for doing heinous things to you,
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  the more you forgive them for lying.
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  The more you take them back for lying, the more you take them
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  back will put up with their sitting on the couch, being bums
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  or whatever. The more you put up with them,
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  lying to you or still talking to their exes or liking Facebook
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  statuses that you ask for Instagram pictures that you ask
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  them not to do, the more that you tolerate y'all the less they
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  respect you. And this is not me trying to
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  victim blame. This is me just being realistic
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  with you. Because in the mindset of a lot
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  of narcissistic people, that's exactly there's literally going
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  on right now. That's literally the dynamic.
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  Y'all, sorry I got distracted. My daughter loves Paw Patrol.
• 8:00
  I just got an e-mail from Sky's on on my Paw Patrol.
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  But that's how it goes, though. Y'all.
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  A lot of times, narcissists the people.
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  The more that you put up with them, the more that they just
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  yeah, the less they care. The more you tolerate, The less
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  they care. The more you tolerate, the less
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  I have to repeat it. Y'all like a mantra.
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  The more you put up with, the less they care.
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  The more that you tolerate, the less they care.
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  And I'm trying to get it through to y'all because I know so many
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  people just like, oh, I'm going to like they would like.
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  The more you tolerate 40 of y'all, they they're not going to
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  see your value. I promise you.
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  Once they lose respect for you, they don't regain it.
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  They might pretend to regain it. They might pretend to give you
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  the love and care and affection that you deserve.
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  They might pretend to care. They might pretend to change for
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  a little while. But over time they go right back
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  to doing what they were doing. They go right back to doing what
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  they what they were doing because they feel empowered to
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  do it now and they get bored. I'm telling I'm just being
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  realistic with you. The more you forgive them, the
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  less they can be centered and get away with stuff.
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  The more that they just don't talk, they don't, the less they
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  respect you and things of their nature.
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  You know what I mean? It goes like that.
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  There's literally a bird on my Ring doorbell.
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  Literally a bird just set my Ring doorbell off.
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  But yes, then what? I'm just saying the more you
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  take them back, the, the more they look down on you, the less
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  they respect for the, the less respect that they have for you.
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  I know that sounds weird because a lot of people would think of
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  the. A lot of people would think
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  opposite. A lot of people would think it's
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  like, well, I I forgave them to. Shouldn't they?
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  Shouldn't I get bonus points for giving them at first?
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  You might at first, they might damn, you really are
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  understanding. But the more time they keep
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  doing the same thing over and over again, the more that they
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  can leave you and they can leave you for somebody else and come
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  back to you. The more they can cheat on you
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  and you find out and you forgive them.
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  The more that they can ghost you for months and abandon the kids
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  and you let them right back in your life.
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  I'm just saying, you see what I'm saying?
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  The less they respect you, they're selling people.
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  But here's the here's the kicker right here.
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  Y'all, even if you start standing up for yourself, even
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  if you kick them out and don't let them come back, they don't.
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  They don't. They still won't respect you
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  like they used to. What's it's going, it's going.
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  They still don't respect you like they used to.
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  Now if you stand, if you keep your boundaries strong as hell,
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  they have to have respect for some of those boundaries.
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  Especially if you get the law involved and you just stand.
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  If you stand, they steadfast and you have a support system and
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  backup. They they have to respect those
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  a lot of times but they but overall they will never get
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  their respect back. They originally had for you in
• 10:38
  the beginning you know So empower yourself y'all.
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  Empower yourself to move forward.
• 10:44
  Take the steps necessary to be as strong as you possibly can.
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  If I can look that's like that shirt.
• 10:48
  I'm strong. You know what I mean?
• 10:49
  If I got the self love then I got the self love.
• 10:51
  Journalists on Amazon they help you rebuild that self love you
• 10:54
  are stronger than you think you are.
• 10:56
  Be stronger be better and do you do your thing.
• 10:59
  Y'all. Anyways, thank y'all so much for
• 11:01
  tuning into another episode. I have some water ones I have to
• 11:03
  do y'all make sure y'all TuneIn every single Thursday evening
• 11:07
  this evening to my live show, 9:00 PM Eastern Standard Time,
• 11:11
  6:00 PM Pacific Time of my live show about being discarded by a
• 11:15
  narcissist live guest show. We're telling stories.
• 11:18
  You have guests come through, show support.
• 11:21
  I truly appreciate every single one of y'all going to hear.
• 11:23
  This is out peace. Thanks for making it to the end
• 11:25
  of my video. Y'all.
• 11:26
  If you haven't already, check out joining the channel,
• 11:28
  memberships from behind the scenes, perks, priority,
• 11:31
  response to the comments, and a few other things like the
• 11:34
  description, every single video I do.
• 11:36
  Thank you so much.