Latest / Armstrong & Getty One More Thing / Dude, Is There a Dead Body in Here?
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Dude, is there a dead body in here? It's one
- 0:02Speaker 1: more thing, one more thing. Ah, before we get to that,
- 0:09Speaker 1: there's sights and sounds here from Milwaukee and kind of
- 0:12Speaker 1: the sea behind the scenes of the just being here
- 0:15Speaker 1: and traveling around, getting around and all that sort of stuff.
- 0:17Speaker 1: We're staying at a hotel way too far away. Yeah,
- 0:20Speaker 1: that's part of the problem. Truly unhandy, and it's added
- 0:23Speaker 1: to my fatigue, which is right now for some reason
- 0:25Speaker 1: that overwhelmed me. Just crashed the minute the show is over.
- 0:28Speaker 1: I just crashed. My metabolism is below that of Joe Biden.
- 0:34Speaker 1: It's post mortem.
- 0:35Speaker 2: Have you eaten? Yeah?
- 0:37Speaker 1: Yeah, I had my usual like protein bar, and then
- 0:40Speaker 1: I've been eating these cheese crackers got cheese in.
- 0:42Speaker 2: Them quote unquote cheese.
- 0:45Speaker 1: Sir, Let me look at the package here, uh, Lance
- 0:48Speaker 1: Captain Wafers. I just I don't know if that's the
- 0:52Speaker 1: fuel you need for your body, cream cheese and chives.
- 0:56Speaker 2: I don't know.
- 0:57Speaker 1: I just feel terrible. Yeah, that was a good boy
- 0:59Speaker 1: last night too. I do know what's going on, and
- 1:02Speaker 1: as well get hammered. I guess that's the that's the
- 1:04Speaker 1: takeaway from this. So our hotel's out by the airport,
- 1:07Speaker 1: which is not that far away.
- 1:09Speaker 2: It's like seven miles or something like that.
- 1:11Speaker 1: It's with normalish traffic, twenty minutes maybe, but like it
- 1:15Speaker 1: took some people two hours to get inside the bubble
- 1:18Speaker 1: last night from that hotel because of security and all
- 1:20Speaker 1: that sort of stuff. And I don't mind the hotel.
- 1:23Speaker 1: It's a Best Western is that what it is? Holiday
- 1:27Speaker 1: in holiday in Yeah, similar sort of thing. Express and
- 1:30Speaker 1: a number of people have apologized to us about the hotel.
- 1:32Speaker 1: Not perfectly fine with the hotel. That's you know, I've
- 1:35Speaker 1: lived my life staying in hotels like Colleen, and something's fine,
- 1:38Speaker 1: perfectly fine. I'm gonna sleep there. It's all I need.
- 1:40Speaker 1: I don't need a nicer hotel. I anyone that's closer.
- 1:43Speaker 1: But anyway, so we've been taking a number of lifts
- 1:46Speaker 1: and ubers and everything like that.
- 1:48Speaker 2: I took an Uber last night. Brace yourselves, folks.
- 1:51Speaker 1: First of all, every Uber driver I've had, and I've
- 1:53Speaker 1: had a half dozen now, all speak English.
- 1:56Speaker 2: They're like born and raised in Wisconsin.
- 1:59Speaker 1: This is the first place I've been that that has
- 2:01Speaker 1: been the case in a couple of years.
- 2:03Speaker 2: Everywhere else I go Vegas, Phoenix, like everywhere I've been,
- 2:07Speaker 2: it's been all people from another country.
- 2:09Speaker 1: He didn't speak a word of English right Like entirely
- 2:11Speaker 1: I've had the same experience. One guy fairly accented, but
- 2:14Speaker 1: he was a friendly chap, quite quite nice. My first
- 2:17Speaker 1: left driver guy had a Milwaukee Brewer's hat and jersey
- 2:21Speaker 1: on Austin. It was like he walked right off the
- 2:23Speaker 1: field and decided to pick up a couple extra bucks
- 2:25Speaker 1: driving for one of the car services.
- 2:27Speaker 2: But great guy. We talked about baseball. It was terrific.
- 2:29Speaker 1: I'm not anti people coming from this land and getting jobs,
- 2:33Speaker 1: but it's great talking to a guy I grew up
- 2:35Speaker 1: in Milwaukee about Milwaukee.
- 2:37Speaker 2: I mean, I just I like that anyway. So I
- 2:40Speaker 2: get in this uber last night.
- 2:42Speaker 1: And it smelled so gross, and I can't put my
- 2:48Speaker 1: finger on what the smell was, but it was like
- 2:54Speaker 1: a gallon of milk that had gone bad and exploded.
- 2:58Speaker 1: Or he lost his cat a week ago and I
- 3:01Speaker 1: think I found it a set oh fluffy, or he
- 3:07Speaker 1: had actually crapped himself. Only these are the only options
- 3:14Speaker 1: that would fit with the way that smelled.
- 3:16Speaker 2: Did you open the window or something?
- 3:18Speaker 1: This is I'm on the I am on the borderline
- 3:21Speaker 1: of Pukeville right now. You know I didn'ts I didn't
- 3:24Speaker 1: open the window because it was raining. Otherwise, Yeah, I
- 3:27Speaker 1: would have done that immediately.
- 3:28Speaker 2: I mean, it was.
- 3:31Speaker 1: People who haven't done some of the things I've done
- 3:33Speaker 1: in my life. I've done some disgusting jobs in my life.
- 3:35Speaker 1: If you haven't done some of the disgusting things I've
- 3:38Speaker 1: done in my life, you might have not gotten in
- 3:40Speaker 1: that car.
- 3:40Speaker 2: You might have actually said I'll wait for the next one.
- 3:43Speaker 2: I mean, it was that bad.
- 3:44Speaker 3: Did it hit you as soon as you opened the door?
- 3:47Speaker 2: Did you immediately immediately?
- 3:49Speaker 1: And my my actually, among my first thoughts was this
- 3:53Speaker 1: is only like a five minute ride because I wasn't
- 3:54Speaker 1: going very far, or I would have to get out.
- 3:56Speaker 1: I was afraid I was going on chunder and that
- 3:59Speaker 1: wouldn't have help the smell.
- 4:00Speaker 2: I might actually might have. Wow, Now that is a
- 4:04Speaker 2: measure of how bad something is. If puke improves it
- 4:07Speaker 2: a decent chance that my vomit would have made it
- 4:09Speaker 2: smell better in there.
- 4:10Speaker 1: Yeah, I have dodged that sort of bullet, although I
- 4:12Speaker 1: did have one. Gal In her defense, oh, it was
- 4:15Speaker 1: four thirty in the afternoon, she said she started driving
- 4:17Speaker 1: at five thirty, so she was eleven hours in. She
- 4:20Speaker 1: was so tired she missed three out of four directions
- 4:25Speaker 1: on her navigation system. It would tell her turn right,
- 4:28Speaker 1: and four tens of miles, three tenths of mile, two
- 4:30Speaker 1: tents of miles, she'd still be in the left had
- 4:32Speaker 1: and finally at one tenth of a mile, let's say,
- 4:34Speaker 1: are we supposed to turn right here?
- 4:36Speaker 2: And she'd be like, what, oh, oh.
- 4:38Speaker 1: Oh, I'll have to make a U turn And that happened,
- 4:41Speaker 1: no kidding three times. I never pay attention to what
- 4:45Speaker 1: my driver's doing. I'm always looking at my phone and
- 4:46Speaker 1: stuff like that. I never have any idea what my
- 4:48Speaker 1: driver's doing.
- 4:48Speaker 3: So you're looking for the dead cat.
- 4:51Speaker 1: I would be in eastern Minnesota right now calling in
- 4:54Speaker 1: if I had not paid attention to what she was doing.
- 4:56Speaker 2: But so, what do you think the smell was in
- 4:59Speaker 2: that car? Well? What, there aren't that many possibilities, are there, right?
- 5:04Speaker 1: I'm thinking that the guy's, you know, really hustling to
- 5:08Speaker 1: make a living. He's uh, cut out a hole of
- 5:12Speaker 1: the driver's seat and he just lets it go. Wiley
- 5:14Speaker 1: drives now and it's like an old style out house. Yeah,
- 5:17Speaker 1: that's not what it smelled like. We all know what
- 5:18Speaker 1: that smell is. Uh, do you remember Stinky Randy. Yes,
- 5:25Speaker 1: Joe and I worked our first job together in Wichita, Kansas.
- 5:28Speaker 1: There was a guy who worked tonight that we call
- 5:30Speaker 1: Stinky Randy.
- 5:31Speaker 2: Try to guess why. He also wore a weird helmet.
- 5:37Speaker 1: Like in what do you call those hats that you'd
- 5:39Speaker 1: wear like on the out in the out back of Australia,
- 5:41Speaker 1: a pith.
- 5:42Speaker 2: It's not a pith helmet.
- 5:43Speaker 1: It was a hard helmet like with a chin strap,
- 5:46Speaker 1: which he would strap before he went and got in
- 5:48Speaker 1: his car. Yeah, in case of something I can't imagine,
- 5:54Speaker 1: in case he needed to take photos of a rhinoces.
- 5:56Speaker 1: It looked like it looked like he was on safari.
- 5:59Speaker 1: But he smelled bad in a very unique way. That's
- 6:04Speaker 1: the last time I smelled that smell. This guy, which
- 6:07Speaker 1: I've always assumed was dissolving bodies. He Oh, he had
- 6:10Speaker 1: so many issues.
- 6:12Speaker 4: Well, if it's comparable to that, it sounds like it
- 6:14Speaker 4: might have been a hygiene issue.
- 6:15Speaker 1: Yeah, this guy so and then what was what was
- 6:20Speaker 1: the name of the really really cute single mom we
- 6:24Speaker 1: worked with. I know her name, but I don't know
- 6:26Speaker 1: if I want to say it out loud, she might
- 6:27Speaker 1: still be in the business in Wichita and we're on
- 6:29Speaker 1: in Wichita.
- 6:30Speaker 2: Well, how about Randy, that's right, What the hell.
- 6:33Speaker 3: Dude, Randy's got a helmet. He'll be fine.
- 6:37Speaker 2: She was nice, though he was he was okay, she'll
- 6:39Speaker 2: just call her aenonymous. People should be alerted to him.
- 6:42Speaker 2: She was very nice. She was cute as a button
- 6:44Speaker 2: and stank like a horse. I mean, oh god, she
- 6:48Speaker 2: was our newsgirl.
- 6:49Speaker 1: And she was from the early twenties in mid twenties,
- 6:52Speaker 1: and like would wear cut off jean shorts and a
- 6:55Speaker 1: tight T shirt. And she was crazy hot, very nice.
- 6:59Speaker 2: Oh a sweetheart. Yeah, but did smell like a horse.
- 7:03Speaker 4: See I have I had a friend that was cute
- 7:05Speaker 4: as a button and all of that, and she reeked,
- 7:07Speaker 4: but it was her breath constantly like the scond she
- 7:11Speaker 4: opened her mouth.
- 7:12Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 7:13Speaker 4: So unless so, this is like a rebellious hippie that
- 7:17Speaker 4: just won't wear deodorant.
- 7:19Speaker 1: This guy, white guy, incredibly pale, frail, pale guy, and
- 7:24Speaker 1: he had the Jeffrey Dahmer vibe.
- 7:27Speaker 2: Not kidding.
- 7:28Speaker 1: And because of those constant obviously I'm connecting all those
- 7:30Speaker 1: dots Dahmer was and I watched that mini series, so
- 7:33Speaker 1: I just.
- 7:35Speaker 2: He had the Dahmer vibe. He was very weird. He
- 7:37Speaker 2: didn't engage in any conversation.
- 7:39Speaker 1: I kind of tried, and he wouldn't talk, and just
- 7:41Speaker 1: he was he was hoping that I passed.
- 7:45Speaker 2: Out and he was going to dissolve me in his garage.
- 7:47Speaker 2: I think was.
- 7:48Speaker 1: I don't know, Well, it's worth worth hoping for you
- 7:51Speaker 1: if you get one out of ten, you know. I
- 7:54Speaker 1: was thinking I would hit on him and he'd slip
- 7:56Speaker 1: me a Bill Cosby drink. And I don't know what
- 7:59Speaker 1: was going on with so the Lee Greenwood just sat
- 8:01Speaker 1: down right next to us to do an interview again.
- 8:04Speaker 1: I encountered Lee Greenwood in the bathroom and I tried
- 8:06Speaker 1: to start. I thought I should have started a humming
- 8:08Speaker 1: his song to see if I could get him to sing.
- 8:10Speaker 2: It for me. Yeah, I guess for him debate.
- 8:13Speaker 1: Yeah, I need an age on Lee Greenwood. I can't
- 8:16Speaker 1: say it out loud because he's right next to me. Katie,
- 8:18Speaker 1: can you look on Lee Greenwood's age eighty one?
- 8:21Speaker 2: Because yeah, he's like, okay, Mom's agent, tell you what
- 8:25Speaker 2: he's doing? Great for Addy. He's Joe Biden's age.
- 8:27Speaker 3: He's the same age as Joe Biden. There you go.
- 8:29Speaker 1: I'll tell you this loud enough for him to hear it,
- 8:31Speaker 1: because he's right here. He sounded freaking fantastic last night.
- 8:35Speaker 1: Nailed it live on stage, and he was like taking
- 8:38Speaker 1: it up an octave on some of you know your
- 8:39Speaker 1: choruses toward the end.
- 8:40Speaker 2: That was impressive. Yeah.
- 8:42Speaker 1: Yeah, a great singer and a great America only steps
- 8:47Speaker 1: away from us. And the greatest thing that ever happened
- 8:49Speaker 1: to him was Trump deciding to make that song the
- 8:52Speaker 1: the Oh. I guess that one further back though, because
- 8:54Speaker 1: remember after nine to eleven, George W. Bush, we were
- 8:56Speaker 1: at an event where they played that, So it's been
- 8:58Speaker 1: going for longer than that.
- 9:00Speaker 2: Yeah, it's an unofficial national anthem.
- 9:01Speaker 1: He used to be if you don't know, I can't
- 9:03Speaker 1: I can't see him. He's over He's over my shoulder,
- 9:05Speaker 1: so Joe's looking at him. He was because you don't
- 9:08Speaker 1: know country music. I worked at a country music station
- 9:10Speaker 1: when that was the number one song in the country
- 9:12Speaker 1: in eighty five or something like that. I mean that's
- 9:14Speaker 1: way back. He was like a super sex symbol in
- 9:17Speaker 1: country music. I mean he was like the hot dude.
- 9:21Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
- 9:24Speaker 3: I'm seeing pictures of him from back then. Good looking guy.
- 9:27Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, exactly. That was his thing.
- 9:29Speaker 1: His ex wife, loyal listener to the show, at least
- 9:31Speaker 1: back in the day. Yeah, she used to drop us
- 9:34Speaker 1: back when the song first was Do you remember it surged?
- 9:38Speaker 2: Because I'm gonna yell it over. I don't know, you remember, remember?
- 9:42Speaker 2: I could?
- 9:43Speaker 1: I think our old email address still exists. I could
- 9:45Speaker 1: do a search, but I'm not going to.
- 9:47Speaker 2: No.
- 9:48Speaker 1: I mentioned and I get him on the show. He's
- 9:51Speaker 1: so angry at her. Still, he's happy to talk about
- 9:54Speaker 1: her with their friends again.
- 9:56Speaker 2: That happens. That happens sometimes too. Either way, I'm not
- 10:00Speaker 2: going to tell you. All right, all right, is right?
- 10:08Speaker 3: Well I guess that well, I guess that's it.