Latest / Deeply Well with Devi Brown / The Divine Time-Out

Transcript

The Divine Time-Out · Deeply Well with Devi Brown

0:00
Speaker 1: Mm from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in
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Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers
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Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you
0:21
Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands
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Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the
0:28
Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who growing into hymnals
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Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments
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Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored Alchemedo cheriots to keep
0:40
Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood. Be wise, be smart, being black,
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Speaker 1: Opal Brown courts bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of
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Speaker 1: jim se King told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife,
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Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the as this
1:00
Speaker 1: is at the ancestors told me that you would come
1:04
Speaker 1: to give wisdom thousands. They said you would come Dropping. Hey,
1:10
Speaker 1: welcome to the Dropping Gym's podcast. I am your host,
1:13
Speaker 1: Debbie Brown. This is episode seventeen and this is officially
1:18
Speaker 1: my first episode while being in quarantine captivity Yo. I
1:22
Speaker 1: almost started this episode saying, hey, a you cool cats
1:26
Speaker 1: and kittens. Shout out to anybody binge watching all the
1:31
Speaker 1: random things like tiger King. All right, So today it's
1:34
Speaker 1: a lot guys. I mean, obviously, um, we are all
1:39
Speaker 1: experiencing things that we have very literally never experienced before
1:44
Speaker 1: in any form or fashion. Uh, this is the quarantine life.
1:48
Speaker 1: I purposely kind of didn't rush to do an episode
1:52
Speaker 1: cater to this new um dimension of our reality because
1:57
Speaker 1: I wanted to take time to really sit with myself.
2:00
Speaker 1: I didn't want to rush with quarantine content. I wanted
2:03
Speaker 1: to sit, I wanted to feel, and I wanted to
2:05
Speaker 1: really do some soul searching. How am I truly feeling
2:08
Speaker 1: about this? What is my perspective? How am I really
2:13
Speaker 1: tangibly healing in this moment um and you know, being
2:17
Speaker 1: able to grow and find peace and find joy. So
2:22
Speaker 1: I've taken the last couple of weeks to really sit
2:24
Speaker 1: with that and sit with my thoughts, and then I
2:26
Speaker 1: decided to crack out my mic and get going. Uh,
2:30
Speaker 1: this episode, we are going to be talking about what
2:32
Speaker 1: we're experiencing right now and what are some tools that
2:36
Speaker 1: we can use in this moment to make this experience
2:40
Speaker 1: for our highest good possible. So obviously life has changed significantly.
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Speaker 1: I am personally choosing to call this chapter of my
2:49
Speaker 1: life the divine time out. I am actively trying to
2:54
Speaker 1: look at this moment, even through the anxiety and the
2:57
Speaker 1: fear that does come up for me, sometimes choosing to
3:00
Speaker 1: look at it as almost as one of my girlfriends
3:03
Speaker 1: expressed it, almost a divine abandonment of sorts, like really
3:08
Speaker 1: really looking to that phrase in this moment, take a second,
3:13
Speaker 1: divine abandonment? What does that look like? What does that
3:17
Speaker 1: feel like? Do we have to experience this moment in time,
3:22
Speaker 1: this pandemic as something that is completely utterly terrifying. You know,
3:28
Speaker 1: if there's anybody right there listening that has been maybe
3:33
Speaker 1: taking on some emotions of feeling let down by God,
3:37
Speaker 1: feeling confused by God, I really encourage you to listen
3:41
Speaker 1: to this episode with an open heart and think about
3:44
Speaker 1: the possibility of rephrasing some of the feelings that you're having.
3:49
Speaker 1: Divine abandonment, Divine time out. Opportunity is their opportunity in
3:57
Speaker 1: this moment, We're gonna start walking down that path, all right.
4:00
Speaker 1: I want to share my experience so far with you guys.
4:02
Speaker 1: Um you know it's funny, and I know a lot
4:05
Speaker 1: of listeners are really doing some major work and are
4:10
Speaker 1: are pretty plugged into their intuition, So you might feel
4:12
Speaker 1: me on this. It's been interesting looking at what we're
4:15
Speaker 1: experiencing through the lens of did we feel any of
4:20
Speaker 1: this energy shift coming? I'm really have been using like
4:24
Speaker 1: this last year. I started this actually January nineteen, but
4:28
Speaker 1: I kind of uh made it a little more intense
4:32
Speaker 1: for January. I have been very deliberately tracking my growth
4:40
Speaker 1: as a spirit in this human form, and I've been
4:42
Speaker 1: journaling like crazy for the past year and a half
4:46
Speaker 1: and really charting all of the things that have been
4:50
Speaker 1: coming up for me intuitively, you know, and and really
4:54
Speaker 1: seeing like is my connection to divine source, as my
4:59
Speaker 1: connect into spirit, as my connection to myself in service
5:03
Speaker 1: of me? So I've been trying to chart some of
5:05
Speaker 1: my thoughts, some of the feelings that have been coming up,
5:08
Speaker 1: and when I look back on this moment coming up
5:11
Speaker 1: with what's kind of interesting for me is, you know,
5:15
Speaker 1: I've I've expressed this on a couple of other episodes.
5:18
Speaker 1: I have been wrestling with anxiety rooted around feeling safe
5:25
Speaker 1: or unsafe, And to be quite honest, I've never wrestled
5:28
Speaker 1: with anxiety. Now I have, through various moments of my life,
5:32
Speaker 1: experienced sparks of sadness, sparks of depression, UM, sparks of real,
5:38
Speaker 1: real lows. But I don't necessarily in the way that
5:41
Speaker 1: anxiety is defined. I haven't felt very connected to that
5:46
Speaker 1: until I had my son, and more specifically, until the
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Speaker 1: last handful of months. I didn't know what it was,
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Speaker 1: but I was just overtaken so constantly by this feeling
6:00
Speaker 1: of fear, by this feeling of fear for my safety,
6:04
Speaker 1: fear for my life, and I was kind of thinking,
6:08
Speaker 1: you know, what is this. I went and had a
6:10
Speaker 1: therapy session, hadn't done that in a while, went and
6:13
Speaker 1: sat down and kind of walked through some of these thoughts.
6:15
Speaker 1: I brought it up and one of the spiritual programs
6:17
Speaker 1: that I'm in, and I just kept coming back to
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Speaker 1: why do I all of a sudden have this fear
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Speaker 1: of death that's taken over me, and especially this fear
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Speaker 1: of some type of harm or pain coming to myself
6:30
Speaker 1: or my son. And everyone just kept telling me, you know,
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Speaker 1: you gotta surrender, you have to trust the universe, you
6:35
Speaker 1: have to trust and I'm like, yeah, I get it.
6:38
Speaker 1: I've done that in so many facets of my life,
6:40
Speaker 1: but it has to be something else like that just
6:42
Speaker 1: didn't feel like it's sat with me and I shared
6:45
Speaker 1: on the last episode with you guys, like two experiences
6:49
Speaker 1: that we're really scary. You know, the experience of that
6:56
Speaker 1: man trying to pull me out of my vehicle than
6:58
Speaker 1: the experience of holding space for that woman in the
7:02
Speaker 1: street who got attacked by those two men in this
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Speaker 1: road rage situation. And I said, you know, the universe,
7:09
Speaker 1: I'm telling you that I'm not feeling so hot, Why
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Speaker 1: would you put two circumstances in my path that reinforce
7:17
Speaker 1: that fear um And so kind of what came up
7:20
Speaker 1: for me as I sat with it in the last
7:21
Speaker 1: few weeks, I really realized that it was kind of
7:24
Speaker 1: this energetic preparation and also what I was feeling was
7:29
Speaker 1: this impending shift. It was this change coming about. I
7:33
Speaker 1: was also having several conversations with friends off the mic
7:37
Speaker 1: about this this lifestyle of over consumption can't continue, Like
7:43
Speaker 1: there's gonna have to be a pop of this bubble.
7:46
Speaker 1: All of us out here in the world being entrepreneurs,
7:48
Speaker 1: lots of people selling lots of things, and this kind
7:52
Speaker 1: of cash grab mentality of luxury and purchasing and flaunting
7:58
Speaker 1: of wealth and also like connecting people to items that
8:02
Speaker 1: are not necessarily like serving them, but they're like the
8:05
Speaker 1: all of these small, mindless purchases that I'm also guilty
8:09
Speaker 1: of making myself. Um as you scroll, and I was
8:12
Speaker 1: just like, there has to be something coming. We're having
8:15
Speaker 1: this over consumption, this materialism. All of a sudden, this
8:18
Speaker 1: fear is rising in me that's never been before, that's
8:21
Speaker 1: deeply irrational. And then also I was feeling like, you know,
8:24
Speaker 1: as I expressed on on another episode, UM, this experience
8:30
Speaker 1: of when are we going to process all of these
8:34
Speaker 1: high level traumatic conversations that we have been having societally
8:41
Speaker 1: for the last couple of years. You know, we were
8:44
Speaker 1: really in this space of uncharted territory where we were
8:47
Speaker 1: breaking down these concepts and these lessons and these experiences
8:53
Speaker 1: about race, about womanhood, sexism, trauma, predatory behavior, sexuality, like
9:01
Speaker 1: all of these new dimensions of awakening within human consciousness
9:05
Speaker 1: were happening kind of in an overloaded way, like extremely
9:09
Speaker 1: fast paced. And what I've learned being on my own
9:12
Speaker 1: journey is that when we are just rushing to fill
9:15
Speaker 1: ourselves with knowledge, but we're not also taking time to
9:18
Speaker 1: process and embody what we're learning one. We do a
9:24
Speaker 1: high level of spiritual bypassing too. It's hard to stick right,
9:28
Speaker 1: Like more often than not, you find that people weaponize
9:32
Speaker 1: this new language, these new explanations of feelings, these new tools,
9:37
Speaker 1: and don't actually use it for radical change of self
9:42
Speaker 1: or radical change in service to the world. So all
9:45
Speaker 1: of those thoughts have been going through my head truly
9:47
Speaker 1: for the last six months, and I'm just like, there
9:50
Speaker 1: is something coming. There's this boiling point in my life.
9:53
Speaker 1: I've kind of um described it and has happened to
9:56
Speaker 1: me in really good ways and also in um shocking
9:59
Speaker 1: ways and challenging ways, but I've always described it to
10:02
Speaker 1: myself as kind of this Phil Collins feeling. I don't know.
10:06
Speaker 1: I mean not to date myself, but I have like
10:10
Speaker 1: the taste of an older woman in a lot of ways.
10:14
Speaker 1: Even in my twenties, I did um. But you know,
10:18
Speaker 1: Phil Collins, he's a musician, he's an artist. He's wildly
10:21
Speaker 1: famous in many, many, many circles. Um. He has this
10:25
Speaker 1: song that's like I think it's called in the Air
10:28
Speaker 1: of the Night, but it's the song with that crazy
10:30
Speaker 1: drum pattern that starts as like bum bum bum bum bum, bump,
10:37
Speaker 1: like it just it's this long song with this slow
10:40
Speaker 1: build of tempo until it like hits this climax. And
10:46
Speaker 1: that's kind of how I energetically feel sometimes when I
10:48
Speaker 1: know that something is coming but I don't quite know
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Speaker 1: what it is. That's how I've been feeling for the
10:53
Speaker 1: last six months. So when we kind of came into
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Speaker 1: this moment of this opportunity to divinely time out even
11:00
Speaker 1: in the midst of profound pain and challenge, that's kind
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Speaker 1: of what that felt like to me. So I found
11:06
Speaker 1: that kind of interesting. I was also looking at like
11:08
Speaker 1: some of my behaviors, Like the last three months, I've
11:11
Speaker 1: been on this home purge, cleaning out all the rooms, donating,
11:15
Speaker 1: donating donating. We had linked with like a lot of
11:18
Speaker 1: high schools and underserved areas. Thanks to my amazing UM
11:23
Speaker 1: organizer Julie. With no wire hangers, she had got like
11:27
Speaker 1: a lot of our stuff into underserved communities into the
11:30
Speaker 1: high school, specifically like kids who are in foster care
11:33
Speaker 1: that needs access to clothes and need access to even
11:36
Speaker 1: luggage and different home items. So that was amazing. But
11:40
Speaker 1: we've been doing this massive purge and I was like,
11:42
Speaker 1: why do I feel so compelled to do all of
11:45
Speaker 1: this right now. And I think that was also kind
11:47
Speaker 1: of my higher self coming in and saying, girl, you're
11:51
Speaker 1: about to be trapped in the house for god knows
11:53
Speaker 1: how long you will lose your mind if you if
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Speaker 1: you look around and see all these projects everywhere. Um.
12:00
Speaker 1: But anyway, I say all that to say, it's just
12:02
Speaker 1: kind of interesting to spend some time doing some gut
12:05
Speaker 1: checking and checking in with your intuition. UM. Especially for
12:09
Speaker 1: in the capacity that a lot of people are so
12:12
Speaker 1: far removed from their god let intuition, because we go
12:16
Speaker 1: against so many decisions that come up for us and
12:20
Speaker 1: do the opposite UM that this is also an awesome
12:23
Speaker 1: opportunity to really cultivate your intuition, like to really do
12:27
Speaker 1: some gut checking of what feelings are coming up? Did
12:30
Speaker 1: I feel any shifts happening before this happened, you know,
12:33
Speaker 1: really examine your emotional responses and your mental responses. So
12:38
Speaker 1: I did a little bit of that, UM. To be
12:40
Speaker 1: quite honest, while I'm sharing my experience so far, the
12:43
Speaker 1: anxiety has been coming in waves. I've had a lot
12:46
Speaker 1: of really peaceful days, you know. If you follow me
12:49
Speaker 1: on my Instagram at Debbie Brown. I've done a lot
12:52
Speaker 1: of talking about trying to be really really deliberate about
12:56
Speaker 1: seeking out tiny joy and small winds, you know, smaller, smaller,
13:03
Speaker 1: less grand things to feel really grateful for. And I've
13:07
Speaker 1: been doing a lot of that through connecting with nature.
13:11
Speaker 1: I feel incredibly grateful to have a patch of a
13:14
Speaker 1: patch of green space, you know, be able to have
13:16
Speaker 1: a backyard, be able to have a street that we
13:19
Speaker 1: are still allowed to walk up and down, um while
13:22
Speaker 1: experiencing this social distancing. And I've just been connecting to
13:26
Speaker 1: lots of sounds of nature. One thing that I found
13:30
Speaker 1: really beautiful that helps calm and call my anxiety is
13:34
Speaker 1: when I go outside on you know, a day we
13:37
Speaker 1: happen to have good weather, and I feel that sunshine
13:39
Speaker 1: on my skin. I'm a very solar powered person. When
13:42
Speaker 1: I feel that sun when that wind goes across my
13:45
Speaker 1: face and I smell the air, when my eyes are closed,
13:48
Speaker 1: and I feel the glow of that light against my eyelids,
13:53
Speaker 1: and I see that orangey, you know kind of glow,
13:57
Speaker 1: and I hear nature, and I hear the birds, and
13:59
Speaker 1: I hear the insects. You know, it's kind of a
14:01
Speaker 1: trip when we really lean into that because so much
14:04
Speaker 1: of our days are so busy and so crowded with
14:08
Speaker 1: other things that it also impacts our animal friends, you know,
14:12
Speaker 1: it impacts nature's normal movements. And for there to be
14:16
Speaker 1: so much silence without the cars, without the people, without
14:19
Speaker 1: the horns honking, and to really just lean in and
14:24
Speaker 1: deep in that connection to these sounds that are more
14:28
Speaker 1: of an afterthought in our day and making them more
14:30
Speaker 1: front and center. It's been really healing for me. It's
14:33
Speaker 1: really helped in some of my more difficult moments. Um
14:37
Speaker 1: At production time, it's a Sunday and recording this episode
14:41
Speaker 1: and Friday, it was a really tough day for me.
14:43
Speaker 1: You know. Friday, I kind of became very overwhelmed by
14:49
Speaker 1: the sadness of the world. I'm an EmPATH. I know
14:53
Speaker 1: a lot of people are familiar with that word. I'm
14:55
Speaker 1: very deeply connected to the emotions of other people. Um,
14:59
Speaker 1: I will cry for someone else long before I cry
15:02
Speaker 1: for myself. And I mean I'm talking like I could
15:06
Speaker 1: be on the street and see something or i could,
15:08
Speaker 1: you know, be watching a commercial that's kind of sad,
15:10
Speaker 1: and I'll just be like, oh compassion, you know. Um,
15:15
Speaker 1: So I'm kind of a bleeding heart in that way,
15:19
Speaker 1: and just watching the news and seeing some of these stories,
15:23
Speaker 1: having fear for my own family and my own safety,
15:26
Speaker 1: and I was just overwhelmed and I felt disconnected from source,
15:31
Speaker 1: you know. So I allowed myself to feel it, and
15:34
Speaker 1: I didn't push through it and try to just rush
15:36
Speaker 1: to this experience of resilience. I pushed through it. I
15:40
Speaker 1: went outside. I started playing like some old soul music. UM.
15:45
Speaker 1: I played like the Commodore Zoom. I played UM common
15:50
Speaker 1: the Light, which is a song that means a lot
15:52
Speaker 1: to me. I played like some old Bobby Caldwell. I
15:56
Speaker 1: hope this isn't going over everybody's heads, but I like
15:59
Speaker 1: I went into like my O G soul bag and
16:02
Speaker 1: pulled out like songs that had really like vivid instrumentation
16:07
Speaker 1: and really like breathtaking lyrics, and I just played them loud,
16:13
Speaker 1: sat in the sun and I cried, and I just
16:16
Speaker 1: cried until I stopped wipe my face, got up, came
16:21
Speaker 1: in the house, really focused on my breathing that day.
16:24
Speaker 1: So we're all feeling it, you know, And I just
16:27
Speaker 1: encourage you to feel the feelings as they come up,
16:31
Speaker 1: and then also give yourself the grace and the ability
16:33
Speaker 1: to move through those feelings and find other moments, the
16:38
Speaker 1: small winds. You know, in this moment, we are grieving
16:42
Speaker 1: the year we thought we were going to have. We
16:44
Speaker 1: all are some people in big ways, some people in
16:47
Speaker 1: small ways. You know. Um, there were a lot of
16:52
Speaker 1: opportunities that got canceled for me within two days, you know,
16:55
Speaker 1: stuff that I had been working for years on, and
16:59
Speaker 1: that ship was hard. Hurt my feelings, you know, Um,
17:04
Speaker 1: thinking about not being able to have a party for
17:07
Speaker 1: my son's second birthday in a couple of days. Um,
17:10
Speaker 1: I felt a lot of sadness about my son not
17:12
Speaker 1: being able to be in school. These are really important
17:15
Speaker 1: developmental years for him. He is going to be two
17:19
Speaker 1: in a couple of weeks, you know, having him have
17:22
Speaker 1: the ability to be around other children, to have you know,
17:25
Speaker 1: balanced play two really activate his speech. I felt a
17:32
Speaker 1: lot of sadness. I felt like I was letting him
17:34
Speaker 1: down by not being able to have access to those things.
17:37
Speaker 1: You know, that was tough. So you grieve that feeling.
17:41
Speaker 1: You grieve, you know, I grieve my own birthday coming
17:43
Speaker 1: up a little bit, Um, the travel plans that I had,
17:46
Speaker 1: the stuff that I wanted to do with people that
17:48
Speaker 1: I loved, you know, um, And none of that is trivial.
17:51
Speaker 1: This is all very real stuff. We have been trained
17:55
Speaker 1: to always make plans. We have been trained to see
18:00
Speaker 1: life through very um milestone driven markers, you know, to
18:06
Speaker 1: see life through a lot of capitalistic errors and materialism.
18:11
Speaker 1: And so when some of that stuff is changing for us,
18:14
Speaker 1: it causes inner conflict. It's okay to feel that. It's
18:17
Speaker 1: okay to feel that and to also explore that, you know,
18:20
Speaker 1: what's a real feeling and what is something that is
18:24
Speaker 1: maybe societal programming that it's okay to unburden yourself from,
18:30
Speaker 1: you know. Um. Something that I've also been drawing strength
18:34
Speaker 1: from right now is really looking at the challenging moments
18:39
Speaker 1: of my of my past and seeing how I fared,
18:42
Speaker 1: and then seeing what what elements I learned from those
18:46
Speaker 1: challenges that I can bring forth into my life right
18:49
Speaker 1: now to be of service to my highest self. You know, Um,
18:53
Speaker 1: I've shared this before, but you know, when I first
18:57
Speaker 1: even stood in the fullness of my spiritual journey, when
19:03
Speaker 1: I decided to really go for it in a way
19:05
Speaker 1: that I never had before, I was in a period
19:08
Speaker 1: of my life where I wanted to die. You know,
19:12
Speaker 1: I was in a profound amount of depression and sadness
19:16
Speaker 1: and restlessness. I felt deeply let down by the majority
19:22
Speaker 1: of the people that really meant something to me. I
19:24
Speaker 1: felt so isolated, I felt so alone. And you know,
19:28
Speaker 1: it wasn't at the point where it was like I
19:31
Speaker 1: want to die, so I'm going to do it. It
19:33
Speaker 1: was more like, like, I believe what it's called is
19:35
Speaker 1: like suicide ideation, where you're just like, Okay, if today
19:40
Speaker 1: is the day, I would be fine with that. That
19:42
Speaker 1: was the space that I was in. I was like, well,
19:44
Speaker 1: if God says that, you know, I should go now,
19:46
Speaker 1: thank you, let's do it. Um. But I was also
19:49
Speaker 1: too vain to ever really give any serious thought, um
19:53
Speaker 1: to actually cause myself harm. But it was it was
19:55
Speaker 1: my lowest, lowest, lowest place in life. Um. But that
20:02
Speaker 1: was the biggest, biggest moment of my life as well.
20:06
Speaker 1: And I feel so so grateful for the depth of
20:10
Speaker 1: sadness I had at that time and the depth of
20:13
Speaker 1: hopelessness I had at that time, because if I had
20:16
Speaker 1: not allowed myself to feel those things in real time
20:22
Speaker 1: and sit with them and still choose to live and
20:25
Speaker 1: still choose to thrive and still choose to seek out
20:29
Speaker 1: tools and solutions. I would not even be close to
20:33
Speaker 1: being who I am right now, Like, not even close.
20:36
Speaker 1: I have absolutely no idea what my life would look like.
20:41
Speaker 1: I might have gone on to continue to be successful.
20:43
Speaker 1: I might have gone on to you know, do cool things,
20:46
Speaker 1: but there is no way in hell my soul would
20:49
Speaker 1: look or feel like it does right now if I
20:52
Speaker 1: didn't have that darkness in those moments. So I'm grateful
20:56
Speaker 1: for that, you know. And when I was feeling things
20:59
Speaker 1: come up for me right now out I thought back
21:01
Speaker 1: to those moments, you know. I thought back to the
21:03
Speaker 1: level of courage that younger me had, the level of
21:08
Speaker 1: strength I was able to whip up, the level of
21:11
Speaker 1: connectedness I had to the divine being that guides me,
21:16
Speaker 1: you know, and I said, okay, I can do this.
21:21
Speaker 1: I know how to get to the path back home,
21:26
Speaker 1: you know, back to myself. I also leaned on. I
21:30
Speaker 1: thought about, like, what are some of my strengths that
21:32
Speaker 1: have served me really well in challenging times. And I
21:35
Speaker 1: really would invite everyone listening to do the same, really
21:38
Speaker 1: take stock of, take stock of, and also celebrate the
21:43
Speaker 1: pieces of you that you may not be able to
21:45
Speaker 1: touch right now because your mind and your heart are
21:47
Speaker 1: too full with other things. But that definitely reside and
21:51
Speaker 1: exists deep down within you. For me, that also represents
21:54
Speaker 1: like I'm a highly detailed person. If if you listen
21:58
Speaker 1: to the show and we've ever worked together, you know
21:59
Speaker 1: that I send color coded emails. I sent emails with
22:03
Speaker 1: bold underlining italics, responses in red highlighted sections like I
22:12
Speaker 1: I am very extra Um. That's why I make a
22:15
Speaker 1: great sharpener of people, any employees I've ever had, anybody
22:19
Speaker 1: I've ever worked with, I'm a great sharpener. So I've
22:21
Speaker 1: been leaning into that, you know, and I've been focusing
22:24
Speaker 1: some of that highly detailed some may call it anal
22:27
Speaker 1: energy into things that are of service to me. So
22:31
Speaker 1: something I did this last week was I sat down
22:34
Speaker 1: and I crafted a color coded calendar for my personal
22:37
Speaker 1: growth in this moment, so that I could really actively
22:40
Speaker 1: remember me right now and do the best that I
22:43
Speaker 1: could to utilize this moment and this pain, in this
22:47
Speaker 1: confusion for my highest good. I have a work calendar
22:50
Speaker 1: that has, you know, my flow of things that I
22:52
Speaker 1: need to accomplish even in this kind of weird setting
22:54
Speaker 1: of not being able to make plans. I still have
22:57
Speaker 1: certain deadlines of things, um, that I want to do
23:00
Speaker 1: or that I'm trying to build professionally, so I'm keeping
23:02
Speaker 1: that going. I have my quest calendar, which is like
23:05
Speaker 1: the family calendar, and then I made this divine time
23:09
Speaker 1: out calendar for myself, and every day in between the
23:12
Speaker 1: cracks and crevices of the things that I'm doing with
23:15
Speaker 1: my little baby and the things that I'm doing for
23:18
Speaker 1: my career and for work and for my business, I
23:21
Speaker 1: have slid in there all these other things I want
23:24
Speaker 1: to do. So case in point, I'm I have it
23:26
Speaker 1: right in front of me. So I'm just looking at
23:28
Speaker 1: one of the days. The morning absolutely starts with my
23:31
Speaker 1: spiritual practice, be it I have fifteen minutes for that
23:34
Speaker 1: day or an hour what I'm gonna do, which includes meditation,
23:39
Speaker 1: It's going to include some stretching, It's gonna include some sound,
23:42
Speaker 1: both therapy, some raiky energy. It's gonna include lots of journaling. UM.
23:48
Speaker 1: So then there's that, um, then it might follow up
23:52
Speaker 1: with midway in the day. Right now, I'm actively reading
23:57
Speaker 1: ten books. So there are ten books that I have
24:00
Speaker 1: been wanting to read, and there are there's no better
24:02
Speaker 1: time than now to stop being a book quarter and
24:04
Speaker 1: really find the time. So I sat down. Took me
24:07
Speaker 1: about an hour. I broke down these ten books in
24:11
Speaker 1: actionable chapters. So like on one of the days it says,
24:15
Speaker 1: read part one and part two of this book, read
24:17
Speaker 1: chapters one and two of this book. And I broke
24:20
Speaker 1: down my entire month like that. So five days out
24:22
Speaker 1: of every week of this month, I have a trackable
24:27
Speaker 1: chart of getting through these books and really doing the reading.
24:31
Speaker 1: And then I've also been doing journaling around what I've
24:34
Speaker 1: been reading, you know, instead of just in taking the
24:37
Speaker 1: information and intellectualizing my ask because this is how I am.
24:41
Speaker 1: I always have my highlighter, I have my pen, and
24:43
Speaker 1: I do that in the book. And then I'm writing
24:45
Speaker 1: down key pieces and my interpretations in a separate journal.
24:49
Speaker 1: So I'm doing that. I usually spend about an hour
24:51
Speaker 1: a day on that reading. Um, that's what I'm capable
24:54
Speaker 1: of right now, and if I get more time, I
24:56
Speaker 1: try to fit that in as well. Then I also
24:58
Speaker 1: include on that calendar. You know. Um, I don't know
25:01
Speaker 1: if I've shared this with you guys, but I'm a
25:03
Speaker 1: reiky healer. I'm a reiky practitioner, and I really want
25:06
Speaker 1: to move forth to do some of that Ricky work
25:09
Speaker 1: in the world, um within my scope of what I've learned.
25:13
Speaker 1: So I've been doing a lot of distance healing. So
25:16
Speaker 1: I set aside two days out of every week to
25:18
Speaker 1: practice and to work on and to serve with my
25:21
Speaker 1: reiky distance healing. Also have down salt bath y'all know
25:25
Speaker 1: I love salt baths. That has been really healing for me.
25:28
Speaker 1: I do that a couple of days a week. So
25:30
Speaker 1: this calendar is kind of a breakdown of where am
25:32
Speaker 1: I going to fit in all of the things that
25:34
Speaker 1: nourish my soul and being very deliberate about it, because
25:38
Speaker 1: if I leave myself to my own devices with all
25:40
Speaker 1: of this amount of time, and I know a lot
25:42
Speaker 1: of people feel this, you get more accomplished on the
25:45
Speaker 1: days that you're really busy, and less accomplished on the
25:48
Speaker 1: days that you have full freedom and full rain of
25:51
Speaker 1: how that day goes. So I'm building in two days
25:53
Speaker 1: a week to do that, right too. If I just
25:56
Speaker 1: want to like walk around and wonder um, or you know,
26:00
Speaker 1: do something in my garage or clean out quest room,
26:04
Speaker 1: or just let the flow of sadness or joy, gratitude,
26:09
Speaker 1: or fear or whatever comes up to feel those things.
26:12
Speaker 1: But for Monday through Friday, I am doing what is
26:15
Speaker 1: necessary for me to stay connected to my highest self.
26:19
Speaker 1: For me to do that, it's important for me to
26:22
Speaker 1: make a schedule. I know myself. That's just how I work,
26:25
Speaker 1: that's just how I operate. So I'm leaning into that
26:28
Speaker 1: knowing nous of myself to be an aid to myself
26:32
Speaker 1: in this deeply challenging time. So for you, anybody that
26:36
Speaker 1: feels connected to doing something similar, it's just really important
26:40
Speaker 1: to think, what are your strengths, what are the things
26:42
Speaker 1: that served you in other moments of not feeling so great,
26:46
Speaker 1: and how can we apply that right now to this
26:48
Speaker 1: moment in daily action. I don't want to confuse you
26:52
Speaker 1: with some of these memes that have been going around
26:54
Speaker 1: that have been like falsely trying to shame people into
26:57
Speaker 1: thinking their productivity is linked to or purpose or their
27:00
Speaker 1: productivity is linked to their identity. And you know, if
27:04
Speaker 1: they don't write two books during this, then they didn't
27:07
Speaker 1: have the discipline. Okay, that's all bullshit, um, and it's
27:10
Speaker 1: I don't believe in that type of toxic shaming positivity,
27:15
Speaker 1: but I will say, apply similar thought to your personal feelings.
27:23
Speaker 1: If you want to write the book, do it. Hell
27:26
Speaker 1: I pray that it is the best seller and it
27:28
Speaker 1: changes lives for myself included. But if you don't, you
27:33
Speaker 1: don't have to. You don't have to keep track of
27:35
Speaker 1: your career growth right now because, let's be quite honest,
27:38
Speaker 1: none of it matters. We don't know what this world
27:40
Speaker 1: is going to look like when we come out on
27:42
Speaker 1: the other side of it. So don't get too pulled
27:44
Speaker 1: and pushed into keeping a societal structure and model in
27:50
Speaker 1: place that does not translate to the time of right now.
27:54
Speaker 1: But what you can do is find the structure that
27:57
Speaker 1: translates for your best good right now in this moment.
28:03
Speaker 1: Another thing, when I think of my strengths and I'm
28:05
Speaker 1: really bringing this forth right now in this moment. And
28:08
Speaker 1: sometimes this is described in more of a um unhealthy
28:15
Speaker 1: way I think when people use it, but it can
28:17
Speaker 1: also be extremely healthy and serving. I can compartmentalize in
28:24
Speaker 1: an epic manner. You know, I'm somebody that can absolutely
28:28
Speaker 1: lean into multiple feelings at the same time. I believe
28:32
Speaker 1: that you can find life to be beautiful and terrifying
28:37
Speaker 1: in the exact same moment. They are not mutually exclusive.
28:40
Speaker 1: You can have both, you know, UM, And so for that,
28:43
Speaker 1: I'm kind of leaning into that skill set I have
28:46
Speaker 1: of being able to compartmentalize. I can be sad and
28:50
Speaker 1: I can have access to joy. Both can be true
28:53
Speaker 1: and both can be true at the same time. I'm
28:55
Speaker 1: a multidimensional, multi hyphenit human being. There is this duality
29:00
Speaker 1: to us, which is often really beautifully expressed in some
29:06
Speaker 1: of the things I know people have heard before, like
29:09
Speaker 1: I'm a spiritual being having a human experience. That's compartmentalizing.
29:14
Speaker 1: That represents a duality, right, you are both at once
29:19
Speaker 1: and you can lean into what both of those things
29:22
Speaker 1: illustrate and bring forth as experiences at the same time.
29:28
Speaker 1: So leaning into that, UM, I kind of touched on
29:32
Speaker 1: also my my thought of you know, you're allowed to
29:35
Speaker 1: grieve the year that you would have had. There's a
29:38
Speaker 1: really beautiful article that came out this week by someone
29:40
Speaker 1: I deeply, deeply admire and enjoy named Candice Binbo. She
29:45
Speaker 1: is incredible. UM. She calls herself, I believe a theologian feminist. Um.
29:54
Speaker 1: She's incredible. She's a phenomenal writer, incredible voice. UM. And
30:00
Speaker 1: she she did this article that she asked me to
30:02
Speaker 1: be a part of, and it's all about allowing yourself
30:05
Speaker 1: to grieve this year. So I put a link in
30:07
Speaker 1: my newsletter, so if you got this last newsletter, it's
30:09
Speaker 1: in there you can check it out. Also check her
30:11
Speaker 1: out on Instagram. She's a dope at hell um. I
30:14
Speaker 1: also think something that's really important right now, as we're
30:17
Speaker 1: reframing some of these thoughts and feelings and experiences for ourselves,
30:22
Speaker 1: it's really important to push yourself to think clearly, Think clearly,
30:28
Speaker 1: think logically. Depression hates Logic hates it. Depression cannot exist
30:37
Speaker 1: when you look at the truth of yourself and when
30:39
Speaker 1: you look at the truth of your experiences and work
30:43
Speaker 1: to accept them. Now, there's a big difference between accepting
30:48
Speaker 1: something and liking something. We do not have to like
30:52
Speaker 1: what the world looks like right now. We don't have to.
30:55
Speaker 1: That's completely preferential. That is a preference of how we
30:59
Speaker 1: feel about right now. But something that we have to
31:02
Speaker 1: do for our own emotional and mental best interest is
31:06
Speaker 1: to accept it. There's no point in fighting against what
31:11
Speaker 1: is happening in the world right now. There's no point
31:13
Speaker 1: against fighting ourselves about how we're feeling about what's happening
31:17
Speaker 1: in the world right now. We have to accept what is.
31:20
Speaker 1: This is what is, and then we formulate a plan,
31:24
Speaker 1: We formulate healing, we formulate the ability to tap into
31:28
Speaker 1: our tools or grow more tools according to that. But
31:33
Speaker 1: we got to accept it. We got to sit in
31:35
Speaker 1: acceptance that this is what life looks like right now,
31:38
Speaker 1: and then we have to find the best way to
31:40
Speaker 1: tap into source to spirit and the best way to
31:43
Speaker 1: tap into ourselves and move forward accordingly. And I think,
31:46
Speaker 1: really when you hear a lot of people say things
31:49
Speaker 1: like you need to surrender, you need to trust, what
31:54
Speaker 1: that's really illustrating is acceptance. What that's really really illustrating
32:01
Speaker 1: is that you need to come into a space of
32:03
Speaker 1: your heart where you can accept that, yes, this is
32:07
Speaker 1: your life. It is doesn't mean it's going to stay
32:10
Speaker 1: that way. It doesn't mean it can't change, doesn't mean
32:12
Speaker 1: that you don't want it to change. All of those
32:15
Speaker 1: things can be true, but it also just is. And
32:19
Speaker 1: we cause ourselves the most pain, the most emotional confusion
32:26
Speaker 1: when we try to fight our reality. And that is
32:29
Speaker 1: not the same as wanting to change our reality. That's
32:32
Speaker 1: very different. That can happen. But when we try to
32:35
Speaker 1: fight against what is, we cause our own suffering. So
32:41
Speaker 1: when people may be sharing with you ideas, myself included,
32:44
Speaker 1: because I do say this a lot. You know of surrender,
32:47
Speaker 1: surrender to right now, trust, right now, if it comes
32:51
Speaker 1: up for you this kind of conflict inside, like what
32:53
Speaker 1: are you talking about? Like, no, I'm not going to
32:56
Speaker 1: center surrender to right now, this sucks or I don't
32:59
Speaker 1: like this that or other aspect of my life. I'm
33:02
Speaker 1: not going to surrender to it. You know, you're thinking
33:04
Speaker 1: in terms of winning or lossing, you're thinking in terms
33:07
Speaker 1: of minimizing yourself. That's not what any of that means.
33:10
Speaker 1: What it means is expand your heart to a space
33:13
Speaker 1: where you can accept what is. You do not have
33:18
Speaker 1: to like it, but to end your own suffering, we
33:20
Speaker 1: have to accept what is and formulate accordingly. I think
33:26
Speaker 1: that it's also important. Um And for some people this
33:29
Speaker 1: may feel a little scary, um, perhaps even a little morbid.
33:33
Speaker 1: But I'm a I'm a deep researcher. I mean, every night,
33:36
Speaker 1: my favorite thing to do is go down the rabbit
33:37
Speaker 1: hole of Wikipedia of all the random things I'm thinking,
33:40
Speaker 1: and just start looking up and researching them. It's funny.
33:43
Speaker 1: My partner is always like, how do you know so
33:45
Speaker 1: many things? How do you know so much about so
33:48
Speaker 1: many different things? And I'm just a deeply natural, naturally
33:51
Speaker 1: curious person, Like I've always been very curious. I love
33:56
Speaker 1: to feed my brain. I like to be the queen
33:59
Speaker 1: of random fact, you know. I like to pull a
34:01
Speaker 1: bunch of different things out my bag that you don't
34:03
Speaker 1: think I know about, not in any going way. I
34:07
Speaker 1: don't care if you think I do or don't, but
34:09
Speaker 1: you know, I like to have access to lots of
34:12
Speaker 1: thoughts and understandings at one time about many different things.
34:17
Speaker 1: Um So that also means I've been doing uh pretty
34:24
Speaker 1: large amount of researching of how life has shifted and changed,
34:30
Speaker 1: how Earth very literally Earth as a structure, as a
34:35
Speaker 1: biological kind of being, how it's existed and adapted over
34:41
Speaker 1: different centuries and different type of pandemics and plagues. So
34:46
Speaker 1: I did some lot of research on the flu of
34:49
Speaker 1: nineteen eleven, a lot of research around the Bubonic plague,
34:54
Speaker 1: the Black Plague of the Middle Ages and what happened.
34:57
Speaker 1: And part of trusting God is also trusting that He
35:05
Speaker 1: has to make choices sometimes that we don't want to happen, right,
35:10
Speaker 1: because we grip really strongly on our human condition, even
35:15
Speaker 1: though we're spirits and souls. We gripped really strongly on
35:20
Speaker 1: our earth life identities and our earth life wants and desires. Right, So,
35:28
Speaker 1: when something like this happens and our economy is gravely disrupted,
35:32
Speaker 1: when something like this happens and we're experiencing loss of
35:35
Speaker 1: human life at such a frightening, um paralyzing and deeply
35:42
Speaker 1: sad rate, it is hard to make peace with this
35:46
Speaker 1: because we interpret this as such a great amount of suffering,
35:51
Speaker 1: and as a human being, just like everyone else, I
35:54
Speaker 1: feel that too. What I try to remind myself of, though,
35:58
Speaker 1: is God's timing is absolutely perfect, even in this moment.
36:03
Speaker 1: Everything has a reason, even though we don't understand it,
36:08
Speaker 1: because as this human condition, as beings that are not God,
36:13
Speaker 1: we don't always have the capacity mentally or emotionally yet
36:19
Speaker 1: to really understand the fullness of His plan. We're just people,
36:24
Speaker 1: were just humans, and we've built lives as human beings
36:29
Speaker 1: that have been in service to us. Trying to understand
36:33
Speaker 1: can form control our experiences so that they make sense
36:37
Speaker 1: to the human life, to the human mind, and the
36:41
Speaker 1: access of information that we currently have. But guys, there
36:46
Speaker 1: is so much more. There is so much more than
36:51
Speaker 1: what we are currently able to understand. It's not even fathomable.
36:55
Speaker 1: So in that space of pure potentiality, I also surrender
37:00
Speaker 1: to God's all knowing understanding and plan this space where
37:06
Speaker 1: Father Mother God knows exactly what Earth needs as a whole,
37:10
Speaker 1: not just what is in the best interest of humanity,
37:16
Speaker 1: because everything that exists as God's not just us. There
37:21
Speaker 1: is such a profound amount of arrogance and being human,
37:26
Speaker 1: such an arrogance and being American, we think, we really
37:31
Speaker 1: think we are the end all be all, But there
37:34
Speaker 1: have been versions in human form that have existed and
37:38
Speaker 1: that have become extinct before we did. Right think of
37:42
Speaker 1: the Neanderthals, there have been many different forms of human
37:47
Speaker 1: being or humanoid that have existed and had their time
37:52
Speaker 1: here and didn't. And I'm not trying to sound scary,
37:53
Speaker 1: and I'm not trying to say that this is it
37:55
Speaker 1: for us. I do not believe that to be true,
37:57
Speaker 1: and God knows the human form of who I am
38:01
Speaker 1: does not want that to be true, because I love life,
38:04
Speaker 1: um and I love this world. But if we say
38:09
Speaker 1: we're gonna trust God, we also have to trust the
38:13
Speaker 1: fullness of who he she is outside of what we
38:18
Speaker 1: are considering to be in our best personal interest. And
38:23
Speaker 1: I just think it's interesting. I just think it's interesting
38:26
Speaker 1: to look at some of the way that life has existed.
38:30
Speaker 1: I think you know, and I alluded to this earlier
38:32
Speaker 1: in the show, but it's it's kind of interesting and
38:35
Speaker 1: incredibly humbling to come out on a street with nobody
38:41
Speaker 1: in it, no business is going, no ego, no extra
38:47
Speaker 1: layer of identity clouding us, right because none of it matters.
38:53
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter what you do for a living right now,
38:56
Speaker 1: it doesn't. It doesn't matter what you have or what
38:58
Speaker 1: you don't have. Right now, it doesn't. We are all
39:00
Speaker 1: brought to our knees in different ways, and we are
39:02
Speaker 1: all feeling the effects of this in very real ways,
39:06
Speaker 1: right So none of that other bs that never mattered
39:08
Speaker 1: anyway matters right now. It's kind of a blessing to
39:11
Speaker 1: experience the world like that, and really a true opportunity
39:15
Speaker 1: for growth because it's giving you a glimpse of seeing
39:18
Speaker 1: yourself and seeing the world without the lens of ego.
39:24
Speaker 1: But when we really sit in this space and go
39:28
Speaker 1: outside and you hear how unbothered nature is. My God, Yo,
39:36
Speaker 1: that's humbling. Wow, that's really humbling. The birds, the squirrels,
39:47
Speaker 1: the insects, the coyotes, that's what's in my area. Um,
39:54
Speaker 1: the everything. They're not affected right now, they're not bothered
39:59
Speaker 1: by this us. Life keeps moving, the trees, the grass,
40:04
Speaker 1: the wind, the rain, the sun, the soil. Right like
40:09
Speaker 1: this is actually a reprieve for them. We're not meddling
40:13
Speaker 1: in their lives. We're not challenging their existence for our
40:19
Speaker 1: personal gain. None of that has ever happened in my lifetime.
40:24
Speaker 1: Moments like this only happened during pandemics. Historically, moments like
40:29
Speaker 1: this have only happened in rural and remote places, and
40:33
Speaker 1: moments like this have only happened before this current existence
40:39
Speaker 1: of overpopulated human life has been in the world. So
40:43
Speaker 1: it's really just interesting and creates quite a perspective shift
40:47
Speaker 1: to let us know that we are all in deep
40:49
Speaker 1: harmony with one another. But we all, including the animals,
40:53
Speaker 1: including the earth, we have our own missions and purpose
40:58
Speaker 1: with our existence in these forms out we're in right,
41:01
Speaker 1: We as humans tend to think that everything is in
41:04
Speaker 1: service to us. This false idea of manifest destiny that
41:08
Speaker 1: really got purported when you know, colonization was happening from
41:12
Speaker 1: the Europeans and from the Spaniards taking over the globe.
41:15
Speaker 1: This this idea of rightful dominance over anything that we see,
41:20
Speaker 1: it's all bullshit, and it's never been more apparent then
41:25
Speaker 1: right now, in this moment. Right we don't control anything.
41:29
Speaker 1: That's another great thing to lean into for your personal growth.
41:32
Speaker 1: Right now, coming to peace with the true understanding that
41:37
Speaker 1: we don't control anything, and that's okay. It actually takes
41:42
Speaker 1: some of the pressure off. It's okay, And any control
41:47
Speaker 1: we thought we had was a false reality. We created
41:53
Speaker 1: these structures, We created these ideals since the dawn of
41:58
Speaker 1: human existence. We created concepts like time, We created language,
42:06
Speaker 1: We created concepts like good versus bad, good versus evil,
42:12
Speaker 1: experiences and judgments of things being great or terrible, joyful
42:18
Speaker 1: or painful. We created those structures, and when we overthink it,
42:24
Speaker 1: we become bound and imprisoned by those structures. But in reality,
42:29
Speaker 1: none of it actually exists. To God, none of it
42:32
Speaker 1: actually exists, and it's all incredibly fragile and easily to break.
42:38
Speaker 1: All of these systems that we have put so much
42:41
Speaker 1: stock into all of these systems that we have intertwined
42:45
Speaker 1: our identity and our vision through and in it can
42:50
Speaker 1: be dismantled like that, like that based on the whims
42:58
Speaker 1: of source of the high your power that you believe in.
43:01
Speaker 1: So it's just kind of interesting to also instead of
43:04
Speaker 1: letting that terrify you. For anybody that's feeling like a
43:07
Speaker 1: little tightness right now, hear me say that, for anybody
43:10
Speaker 1: that that scares this is such a beautiful opportunity to
43:14
Speaker 1: lean into it and to take the pressure and this
43:17
Speaker 1: self imposed responsibility off of yourself and to just experience
43:23
Speaker 1: yourself as a soul and as a spirit that was
43:27
Speaker 1: brought here to experience, to experience whatever is. It's a really, really,
43:36
Speaker 1: really great opportunity to investigate within your own heart what
43:42
Speaker 1: is real, what is real, and what is old programming?
43:49
Speaker 1: Right now? Are you being led by the deepest, most authentic,
43:56
Speaker 1: spirit led feelings or you being led by old programming
44:03
Speaker 1: based on societal structures, societal input and old programming based
44:11
Speaker 1: on trauma and based on coping mechanisms that you devised
44:16
Speaker 1: to survive trauma. And for anybody out there saying I
44:20
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't have trauma. Trauma doesn't just mean
44:24
Speaker 1: murder and rape, abuse, Trauma doesn't just mean fear and
44:31
Speaker 1: these really big ways. Trauma can also be very subtle.
44:37
Speaker 1: Trauma can be very subconscious. Trauma can be holding tight
44:43
Speaker 1: to this warped view of yourself that you had when
44:46
Speaker 1: you were a child, that was born out of other
44:48
Speaker 1: people's opinions or what you were perceiving to be other
44:52
Speaker 1: people's opinions about you, that then developed into you trying
44:57
Speaker 1: to make sense of your reality and makes sense of
45:00
Speaker 1: yourself by crafting and piecing together these walls or these
45:04
Speaker 1: emotional responses or this spiritual bypassing. That's trauma. So in
45:10
Speaker 1: this moment, as you have this opportunity, this divine opportunity,
45:18
Speaker 1: and you sit with yourself, and for many people that
45:21
Speaker 1: very literally means sitting with yourself by yourself, potentially for
45:26
Speaker 1: the first time in your lifetime, what is real and
45:31
Speaker 1: what is old programming that you can tap into a
45:36
Speaker 1: freedom to release. I think that's the part that's going
45:39
Speaker 1: to feel scariest for most right now, as in many
45:43
Speaker 1: states were in this like social isolation quarantine um for
45:48
Speaker 1: god knows how long, because every week it's something new right.
45:51
Speaker 1: Like first, it's like, hey, stay home for the week
45:53
Speaker 1: now potentially, And to be quite honest, if I really
45:55
Speaker 1: listened to my intuition, I don't think that we're really
46:00
Speaker 1: going to be able to leave our homes with the
46:02
Speaker 1: freedom that we used to until potentially July August UM.
46:07
Speaker 1: And I think even then, for the next year to
46:10
Speaker 1: two years UM, life is going to be dramatically different
46:15
Speaker 1: from anything we've ever seen in every possible way, which
46:19
Speaker 1: is not to say bad or scary, but it just
46:22
Speaker 1: will be really different. And we need to get ready
46:24
Speaker 1: for that. We need to get ready to adapt and
46:27
Speaker 1: to create new paths and new channels. But for a
46:29
Speaker 1: lot of people, with this isolation, with this quarantining, you
46:35
Speaker 1: are being lead to face yourself for the first time
46:40
Speaker 1: in your life. One of the things that I've talked
46:42
Speaker 1: about with my own spiritual journeying is that I realized
46:46
Speaker 1: one day that I was sick of distracting myself with fun.
46:52
Speaker 1: For me, that represented previously having a career in entertainment
46:55
Speaker 1: and media. All the parties I was going, all the parties,
46:59
Speaker 1: what all the people going all the concerts, Like literally
47:02
Speaker 1: four to five nights a week. I was either at
47:05
Speaker 1: a party, or I was at a concert, or I
47:08
Speaker 1: was backstage at a smaller show, or I was at
47:12
Speaker 1: a red carpet interviewing somebody. You know, all of the things, UM,
47:16
Speaker 1: and it all seemed cool, and it gave me this
47:19
Speaker 1: like identity or this perception, UM, But it also kept
47:24
Speaker 1: me very distracted from all the things I needed to
47:26
Speaker 1: work on and all the ways that I needed to heal.
47:29
Speaker 1: And so the best thing that happened to me was
47:31
Speaker 1: when I kind of forced myself to isolate for that
47:34
Speaker 1: that kind of for me represented moving to a new
47:37
Speaker 1: state for a job opportunity where I didn't know, not
47:39
Speaker 1: even one person, and I end up moving to two
47:42
Speaker 1: different states within two years, not knowing anybody, and having
47:46
Speaker 1: to spend a lot of time with myself. You know,
47:49
Speaker 1: that for me was one of the most radically transformative
47:53
Speaker 1: experiences of my life. And what also helped really um
47:57
Speaker 1: turned me into this kind of juggernaut of spiritual and
48:01
Speaker 1: personal advancement and growth. So this is that opportunity for
48:05
Speaker 1: you too, And I know it scares you. It scared me, UM,
48:09
Speaker 1: because it's different, you know, and if you have spent
48:12
Speaker 1: your life really avoiding spending time with yourself or investigating
48:17
Speaker 1: your thoughts and feelings about anything, but especially your past.
48:22
Speaker 1: It's gonna feel triggering right now, But I also hope
48:26
Speaker 1: that you see through that feeling of being triggered, that
48:29
Speaker 1: this is also the opportunity of your lifetime, this moment.
48:34
Speaker 1: And I know it's hard to take that in because
48:37
Speaker 1: people are dying and these numbers are so staggering and scary.
48:42
Speaker 1: We're all scared. We're scared for our own lives, and
48:46
Speaker 1: we're scared for the lives of people we love, you know,
48:50
Speaker 1: a lot for a lot of people. We are scared
48:52
Speaker 1: of not having our basic needs met, not being able
48:55
Speaker 1: to survive. That's real, that's a real fear, and I
49:00
Speaker 1: get that. But to bring back to something that I
49:03
Speaker 1: shared earlier, there is also space for both. There is
49:08
Speaker 1: space to be hurting right now. There is space to
49:11
Speaker 1: be fearful right now and at the exact same time,
49:16
Speaker 1: in the exact same human embodiment, there is space for peace.
49:23
Speaker 1: There is space for healing, and there is space for joy.
49:30
Speaker 1: We can do all of it. We don't have to
49:33
Speaker 1: have this judgment or this shame about one or the other.
49:38
Speaker 1: We don't have to create that chaos inside. We are
49:41
Speaker 1: multidimensional spiritual forms having a human experience, we can feel
49:50
Speaker 1: more than one thing. So in this moment, no matter
49:53
Speaker 1: what your situation right now, And I don't want to
49:55
Speaker 1: take away from the fact that I know that depending
49:59
Speaker 1: on what your situation is, this experience can look very,
50:03
Speaker 1: very different for you than it does for other people.
50:07
Speaker 1: But there's still space where you can take in that
50:11
Speaker 1: this is the opportunity of your lifetime. And I don't
50:15
Speaker 1: want to drill home for people this false idea that
50:18
Speaker 1: during this time you have to be productive in any way.
50:21
Speaker 1: Hell no, But I do want to drive home for
50:23
Speaker 1: you that this is not an experience to be wasted. Yes,
50:28
Speaker 1: I'm an alignment that if you were having a down day,
50:31
Speaker 1: it's okay to not accomplish anything. It's okay to veg
50:34
Speaker 1: out in your bed, It's okay to spend the whole
50:36
Speaker 1: day crying, But absolutely not. Will you be doing that
50:39
Speaker 1: for the whole quarantine? No, And I don't care what
50:42
Speaker 1: Meme tells you Otherwise, I don't care what Meme is
50:44
Speaker 1: telling you. Hey, if all you get accomplished from this
50:47
Speaker 1: quarantine is sitting down and crying, that's okay. Sis. No,
50:51
Speaker 1: it's not, because then you are doing the exact same
50:55
Speaker 1: thing that you've been doing in a different form. You
50:57
Speaker 1: are actively not processing, and you are wasting away your
51:03
Speaker 1: opportunity to truly become who you were meant to be.
51:08
Speaker 1: And I don't mean that in a way that is
51:10
Speaker 1: tied to monetary success, to materialistic success, to anything like
51:17
Speaker 1: that of any kind. But we all came to this
51:20
Speaker 1: earth with a certain set of instructions, and those instructions
51:24
Speaker 1: did not mean anything tied to society's interpretation of success.
51:30
Speaker 1: Those instructions, however, did require that we become more of
51:35
Speaker 1: who we truly are. Do not waste this time, Use
51:40
Speaker 1: this divine opportunity wisely. This is the moment that the
51:44
Speaker 1: deepest part of your soul has been waiting for. This
51:48
Speaker 1: is it. We're here now. I think it's really important
51:53
Speaker 1: that we utilize some of this time in very specific ways.
51:58
Speaker 1: So what I want to spend the last minutes of
52:00
Speaker 1: the show talking with you about is how to use
52:04
Speaker 1: this time wisely. So in the next couple of weeks,
52:07
Speaker 1: I am going to be releasing a one dent free challenge.
52:13
Speaker 1: Now this is a hundred percent free, but I want
52:17
Speaker 1: you to keep in mind. It's something that I'm pouring
52:20
Speaker 1: hours and hours and hours and hours of work too,
52:24
Speaker 1: So if you decide to sign up for it, I
52:26
Speaker 1: want you to take it seriously. But I'm gonna be
52:28
Speaker 1: rolling out a divine time out challenge. So if you're
52:32
Speaker 1: if you're already signed up for my newsletter, you'll get
52:34
Speaker 1: all the deeps. If you're not, you can go to
52:36
Speaker 1: my website or go to karma Blist dot com and
52:38
Speaker 1: just really easily sign up for the newsletter. But in
52:40
Speaker 1: that we're gonna go far more in depth and create
52:44
Speaker 1: accountability systems for what I'm going to lay out for
52:46
Speaker 1: you right now, but away to use this time wisely reading,
52:52
Speaker 1: really reading journaling. I cannot stress this enough. And I
52:56
Speaker 1: have not always been a fan of journaling, but I
52:58
Speaker 1: am in my journey realistic bag right now. I am
53:04
Speaker 1: investigating myself in ways that I never had and writing
53:08
Speaker 1: them down really unashamedly and was that a word, I
53:12
Speaker 1: don't know, but I've been writing them down, um with
53:16
Speaker 1: just reckless abandon and freedom of self. And it has
53:20
Speaker 1: been amazing documenting yourself, really documenting this time. This is
53:25
Speaker 1: an unprecedented moment in history. We keep hearing that right,
53:29
Speaker 1: but also means there's an opportunity to really tell your
53:33
Speaker 1: story right now. Our children, are grandchildren, are great grandchildren,
53:38
Speaker 1: all the generations that will come forward after we're gone,
53:42
Speaker 1: They're gonna want to know about you. They're gonna want
53:47
Speaker 1: to know about life right now. Document yourself. I've started
53:51
Speaker 1: taking like all of these portrait pictures of myself, which
53:54
Speaker 1: I never do, and I'm just having fun with it.
53:58
Speaker 1: I've been writing, I've been charting, I've been graphicing, I've
54:02
Speaker 1: been doing all these different things that are truly documenting
54:05
Speaker 1: who I am. Do that find moments to really be present,
54:12
Speaker 1: Be present with yourself, Be present with your pain, be
54:16
Speaker 1: present with your confusion. Take time to listen to nature.
54:24
Speaker 1: Take time to think, specifically, thinking about what it is
54:30
Speaker 1: to be a spirit and a human at the same time.
54:35
Speaker 1: Take time to cultivate a humility and a gratitude for
54:42
Speaker 1: the world that we live in and the peace of
54:44
Speaker 1: the puzzle that we are in it. Take time to
54:50
Speaker 1: really focus on things you do want to learn about yourself,
54:54
Speaker 1: about your history, about your family structure. Take time to
55:01
Speaker 1: unlearn all the false beliefs that you've carried on that
55:05
Speaker 1: don't actually fit now. You know, and I keep saying
55:11
Speaker 1: this in regards to the pandemic with my friends and
55:13
Speaker 1: my family. I keep saying, like, who, what a time
55:15
Speaker 1: to be alive? But no, really, what a time to
55:19
Speaker 1: be alive? What an opportunity? What a time to be
55:24
Speaker 1: alive with the access to tools that we have now
55:28
Speaker 1: that no generation that came before us ever had. You know,
55:33
Speaker 1: it's so easy for us, And this is a whole
55:35
Speaker 1: another topic of a show, but it's so easy for
55:37
Speaker 1: us to be hard on our parents, to be hard
55:41
Speaker 1: on our family members, to be hard on the generations
55:44
Speaker 1: that are older than us for what they didn't do,
55:46
Speaker 1: or what we're perceiving to be, what they didn't teach us,
55:51
Speaker 1: or the ways that they didn't heal. You know, it's
55:54
Speaker 1: not because we're so great that we have this self
55:57
Speaker 1: awareness that they didn't have. It's because they walked so
56:01
Speaker 1: we could run. They had experiences that they didn't have
56:05
Speaker 1: the freedom to heal from that created an environment for
56:09
Speaker 1: us to have resources and healings and environment for us
56:12
Speaker 1: to get fed up and demand change of self and
56:15
Speaker 1: demand change of the world and others. You know, But
56:20
Speaker 1: I think about this all the time when I scroll Instagram,
56:23
Speaker 1: I follow like a bunch of those really really amazing
56:26
Speaker 1: therapist pages like and maybe getting their names wrong, so um,
56:29
Speaker 1: just bear with me. But one of the pages, I
56:31
Speaker 1: think it's called like holistic therapy or holistic psychology. It's
56:38
Speaker 1: so funny sometimes because I stopped in my scroll and
56:41
Speaker 1: I'll read something that is just remarkable, and I'll say,
56:46
Speaker 1: you know, I spent a fortune and spent so many
56:51
Speaker 1: years to finally learn that, And now on a random afternoon,
56:56
Speaker 1: I'm scrolling and I'm seeing one of the most intra
57:00
Speaker 1: respective and profound thoughts that has the ability to unlock
57:05
Speaker 1: and radically change your life for free on Instagram, sandwiched
57:10
Speaker 1: in between Ratchett and narcissistic content. Right, even if you
57:18
Speaker 1: can't afford therapy, seek out meaningful pages to follow. Stop
57:25
Speaker 1: wasting your time on gossip sites, Stop wasting your time
57:29
Speaker 1: finding judgments of others. Let's use this time. There are
57:33
Speaker 1: so many tools and resources out there. When I tell you,
57:37
Speaker 1: I was in therapy for years to understand certain pieces
57:42
Speaker 1: of my childhood and my codependency and how I seem
57:49
Speaker 1: to be a massive attractor for narcissists, it took me
57:54
Speaker 1: years to figure that out about myself and the other
57:57
Speaker 1: day I saw I saw this this aha moment that
58:04
Speaker 1: took me years to know, plainly written out on an
58:08
Speaker 1: Instagram post. Trust me, there's a lot of free tools
58:13
Speaker 1: out there. These are really meaningful bits of knowledge and work,
58:18
Speaker 1: and we have the ability to cultivate more tools than ever.
58:22
Speaker 1: Let's be deliberate about it. So before I leave, we're
58:27
Speaker 1: wrapping up right now. Before I leave, I want to
58:29
Speaker 1: share two questions with you that I think could be
58:35
Speaker 1: really interesting for you to journal about right now or
58:38
Speaker 1: to just sit and thought with. And if you haven't yet,
58:42
Speaker 1: I have UM a few meditations that I'm leading that
58:45
Speaker 1: are available and a few different episodes breaking down some
58:50
Speaker 1: of the thoughts that I talked about on here that
58:52
Speaker 1: are on my Instagram page at Debbie Brown in my
58:56
Speaker 1: I G t V section. There's a lot of content
58:59
Speaker 1: in there. UM. But I have a couple of meditations
59:02
Speaker 1: and one of them I'm going to share on next
59:03
Speaker 1: week's episode. But you know, take some time, whether it's
59:07
Speaker 1: that you know, I no worries like you can also
59:10
Speaker 1: be on the call map, you can be on I.
59:12
Speaker 1: I personally really love the simple habit app um or
59:16
Speaker 1: you can do what I think is the best option,
59:18
Speaker 1: and to just sit in complete stillness and silence without
59:22
Speaker 1: any prompts, and just spend time with with these next
59:25
Speaker 1: two things I want to ask you. So one of
59:27
Speaker 1: them is when you think about your life right now,
59:29
Speaker 1: when you think about your experiences in this moment, I
59:34
Speaker 1: want you to think a little more deeply, and I
59:36
Speaker 1: want you to think, who am I being called to
59:39
Speaker 1: become right now? Who is God calling me to become?
59:44
Speaker 1: In this moment? An answer might come forward for you,
59:50
Speaker 1: and also it may not, So don't try to rush
59:52
Speaker 1: to fill that with any response that your mind can calculate.
59:56
Speaker 1: Utilize that as a question that the divine an answer
1:00:00
Speaker 1: for you at its pace. Over this quarantine, over this epidemic,
1:00:06
Speaker 1: you know, who is God calling me to become? Right now?
1:00:12
Speaker 1: The real truth of it is, we are all going
1:00:15
Speaker 1: to come out of this so profoundly changed, changed, and
1:00:22
Speaker 1: we are coming out of this into a world that
1:00:25
Speaker 1: is forever changed. Are you going to walk out of
1:00:30
Speaker 1: those doors when the time comes for us to be
1:00:33
Speaker 1: set free? Are you going to walk out of those
1:00:36
Speaker 1: doors as the same as seeing the world as the
1:00:42
Speaker 1: same as seeing yourself as the same What a waste
1:00:46
Speaker 1: that would be I've been doing this work and this
1:00:51
Speaker 1: kind of excavation of self for so many years that
1:00:55
Speaker 1: sometimes and it makes my head spin to really sit
1:00:59
Speaker 1: in the knowing this that the work is never done.
1:01:01
Speaker 1: It can be overwhelming, but I've done a considerable amount
1:01:05
Speaker 1: of work. And it isn't just my heart's deepest desire
1:01:08
Speaker 1: that I walk out of those doors having learned so
1:01:13
Speaker 1: much more, having become so much more than I currently am,
1:01:18
Speaker 1: having expanded my heart to a space that hasn't been yet.
1:01:24
Speaker 1: And I'm currently walking through two very intense challenges. And
1:01:30
Speaker 1: these are two things that I really am excited about
1:01:33
Speaker 1: sharing with you guys. Um, They're very difficult, but there
1:01:36
Speaker 1: are two very real challenges that have been happening to
1:01:38
Speaker 1: me really in the span of this quarantine. Um that
1:01:42
Speaker 1: I will be able to talk about more fully as
1:01:45
Speaker 1: I continue to process them. Um. But yeah, I'm standing
1:01:48
Speaker 1: in the depths of discomfort right now too. And I
1:01:52
Speaker 1: it is my deepest hope and desire that through my
1:01:56
Speaker 1: deliberate action right now, in these moments, I will come
1:01:59
Speaker 1: out on the other side of this so much more
1:02:01
Speaker 1: than I currently am, for the highest good of myself
1:02:05
Speaker 1: and all those connected to me. Second question, last question
1:02:10
Speaker 1: to hold in your space of higher consciousness right now,
1:02:14
Speaker 1: What are the parts of myself I've been avoiding and
1:02:18
Speaker 1: how can I embrace them more fully? Really sit with that,
1:02:22
Speaker 1: especially in the moments that things feel tight and uncomfortable
1:02:27
Speaker 1: for you, especially if you're feeling really emotionally and physically
1:02:31
Speaker 1: isolated right now, in those difficult moments where your heart
1:02:36
Speaker 1: wants to constrict, I urge you to stretch it and
1:02:41
Speaker 1: really think, what parts of myself have I been avoiding?
1:02:48
Speaker 1: That's the question to really utilize in service of your
1:02:52
Speaker 1: highest good, to really utilize as a catalyst for radical
1:02:58
Speaker 1: shifting and changing inside of your elf. What parts of
1:03:02
Speaker 1: myself have I been avoiding? And how can I embrace
1:03:07
Speaker 1: them more fully? Because it is okay to not have
1:03:11
Speaker 1: it all together, It is okay to not know the answers.
1:03:16
Speaker 1: It is okay to be flawed, to not be perfect.
1:03:22
Speaker 1: But when you are in the pursuit of being whole,
1:03:26
Speaker 1: you will recognize that you can love all the facets
1:03:30
Speaker 1: of yourself at the exact same time. I can love
1:03:35
Speaker 1: the shiniest pieces of me, and I can love the
1:03:38
Speaker 1: tiny monsters inside of me. All the facets of who
1:03:42
Speaker 1: I am are worthy of my own attention and my
1:03:44
Speaker 1: own love. Al Right, guys, that's it for this episode.
1:03:49
Speaker 1: I felt really good to talk to you. Thank you
1:03:52
Speaker 1: for listening. As always, I'm so grateful for any time
1:03:55
Speaker 1: that you take to share this show, whether it's on
1:03:58
Speaker 1: social media, whether it's through a text message. Um, if
1:04:01
Speaker 1: you feel so called, if you connected with the show
1:04:04
Speaker 1: in any way, share it with five friends on text today.
1:04:07
Speaker 1: If you have a moment and you feel called, No pressure,
1:04:10
Speaker 1: but it would mean the world if you left a
1:04:13
Speaker 1: review and gave us a rating. I really appreciate you listening.
1:04:18
Speaker 1: I really appreciate this being a safe space for all
1:04:21
Speaker 1: of us to feel I love you, guys, stay open,
1:04:26
Speaker 1: piece big. Thank you for listening to this episode of
1:04:30
Speaker 1: The Dropping Gym's podcast. This show is executive produced by
1:04:33
Speaker 1: Adrian Scott and me Debbie Brown. Our theme music was
1:04:37
Speaker 1: created by producer Day One, and the poem that you
1:04:39
Speaker 1: heard at the beginning of the show, well that was
1:04:41
Speaker 1: created especially for us by award winning poet and Iambieca
1:04:44
Speaker 1: for If you have a quick moment right now, please
1:04:47
Speaker 1: hit subscribe on the show and if you like what
1:04:49
Speaker 1: you heard, take it a step further. And give us
1:04:52
Speaker 1: a five star rating. Until next time you connect with
1:04:54
Speaker 1: me on I g at Debbie Brown or my website
1:04:57
Speaker 1: Debbie brown dot com. Be blessed, do