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How Do Narcissists Really Treat Their Parents? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So y'all, what is a narcissist relationship like with their
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  parents? Like what it what?
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  How do they treat their own parents?
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  The mother or the father? How do they do it?
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  How do they treat their own parents?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and I give you the inside look at the
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  mind of a narcissist. And that's what we're talking
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  about today. Y'all, a narcissist relationship
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  with their parents. And I noticed that I just
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  imagine the look of some of y'all faces when y'all saw the
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  thumbnail when you saw the title of the video was aw hell.
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  I know my narcissist, the ex, his Mama was the biggest enabler
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  in the world or his daddy or her daddy, whatever.
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  They could do no wrong for their like in front of their kids or
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  whatever the case may be. Like their kids can do no wrong
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  in front of their parents. But that's not always going to
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  be true, right? Because I know a lot of times
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  people think, and rightfully so, right, that narcissists are
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  created through abusive parents, through some type of tragedy or
• 1:03
  trauma or neglect in their childhood.
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  And that's typically going to be true, right?
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  Sometimes it's not always going to be neglect or trauma.
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  Sometimes it's just affluence and they just never get told no,
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  no boundaries and things like that.
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  And other reasons as well. But they could have abusive
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  neglectful parents that they hate hate with a passion.
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  Some narcissists do have parents that they absolutely loathe.
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  They cannot stand they parents right.
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  They cannot stand they toxic at all.
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  They just manipulative, lying, cheating ass parents abusive
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  like sorry ass parents they they cannot stand them.
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  They had some narcissists have absolutely horrible
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  relationships with their parents, but that doesn't mean
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  that they're going to not be have a like just because they
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  have a horrible relationship with their parents doesn't mean
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  that they're going to cut their parents out of their lives.
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  There's so many survivors and thrivers that I've spoken with
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  and even narcissists y'all. I do one on ones with
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  narcissists too. Even the narcissists say that
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  even though they might have an abusive parent that they cannot
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  stand, it's very difficult for them to cut it, cut them out of
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  their lives. Because having a narcissistic
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  parent, they, they, That narcissistic parent makes you
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  feel like you're indebted to them.
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  That narcissistic parent makes you feel like you owe them
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  something. Like they truly do.
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  A narcissistic parent will absolutely 100% make you feel
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  like you owe them something. They make you feel like you owe
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  them the world for something small that they for something
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  small that you have done. Like truly, this is what
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  happens. Like that narcissistic parent
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  might make you feel like you owe, like I'm just telling you
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  how it goes. They make you feel like you owe
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  them the world like you're like because they birthed you or
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  raised you or gave you a childhood, gave you a home and
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  clothed you. They make you feel like you're
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  like your childhood was a loan. That's what narcissistic parents
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  do. They make you feel like your
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  childhood was a loan to them. So you feel like you have to,
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  you spend the rest of your life paying that off.
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  Do you spend the rest of your life paying off this childhood
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  loan? That's what I that's right,
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  y'all Narcissistic parents make you feel like you, you owe them
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  a debt, a loan of sorts, and you will spend the rest of your life
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  paying it off. It's, and it's crazy because the
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  narcissist that I've spoken to have said that the survivors
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  that I've spoken to have said the same thing.
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  They felt like their narcissistic partner felt like
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  they owed their parent a debt. So even though they did not have
• 3:48
  a good working relationship with their parent, they still kept
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  their parent around all of like they feel like they were
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  indebted to them. Like I've had so many stories
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  where people have told me like my narcissistic husband moved,
• 4:00
  his mother had to live with us after his father passed away.
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  His mother came to live with us and she herself is narcissistic
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  and she was being abusive to him.
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  And I would try to check her and he would check me.
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  I would check her for being manipulative and gaslighting my
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  husband and he would check me for checking her.
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  Like he felt like he had to defend her against me even
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  though I was defending him against her.
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  It's a wild Rd. y'all. It's a wild.
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  It's a, it really is cyclical. It's a wild circle to be a part
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  of when you're dealing, when you have a manipulative, abusive
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  parent. It really is.
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  If you have this person that you've been dealing with for a
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  very long time, it can be very difficult to understand what
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  you're going through. Yeah, it really can.
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  Having a parent that makes you feel like you're always indebted
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  to them, it's very difficult. So some narcissists hate their
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  parents, but it doesn't mean that they will cut them off.
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  On the other hand, there are some narcissists who absolutely
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  who, who, who, who have good relationship with their parents.
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  And that could be. Yeah, on the other side of
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  things, there are narcissists that have good relationships
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  with their parents and that could be more difficult for you
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  to deal with, as crazy as that sounds like when they have a
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  good working relationship with their parents who might also be
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  manipulative and narcissistic, it can be you will get double
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  teamed or triple teamed, right? This can happen to you all this
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  can happen to all of you. I promise you it can and it can,
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  it can make you feel like you're getting double teamed.
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  It really, really can. So if you're dealing with a
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  narcissist or a toxic person or whoever you're dealing with
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  like, and they have a good relationship with their parents,
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  it can absolutely make you feel like you're getting double team,
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  the triple team. And like you have like you have
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  so many enemies against you at the same time.
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  Like you have like there's no winning for you in that
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  scenario. There really is no winning for
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  you at all in that scenario because you feel like
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  everybody's against you like that your narcissistic partner
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  or spouse has been abusing you, but you tell their mom or their
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  dad and they were their mom and dad will ask you what you've
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  done to them. What did you do to them?
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  What'd you say to her? Like she hasn't normally been
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  like this her whole life. So it must be something that you
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  have done like maybe both of y'all need to sit down and talk
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  about this because like my baby wouldn't, she wouldn't do
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  anything like that. She wouldn't cheat.
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  She was raised in a church. My baby was raised in a church.
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  She would not cheat. No, no, them church, them church
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  raised narcissists be the cheat. Most cheatness backstabbing this
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  lying bastards are on her on the planet.
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  I think so many of y'all have that going on.
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  So maybe I'll have understand that as well that you were
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  dealing with this type of person.
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  So some narcissists do have good relationship with their parents
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  and their parents are flying monkeys or enablers of theirs
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  and they will not be on your side no matter what that
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  narcissistic person has done to you.
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  They just will not. But on the flip side of things,
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  on the other side, right, they're all narcissists who who
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  don't have relationships at all with their parents.
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  They hate their parents. They're no contact with their
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  parents, right? And just because that they are
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  no contact with their parents, what?
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  Yo right here, let me say this right here.
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  Just because a narcissist is no contact with their parents or
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  doesn't have a good relationship with their parents does not mean
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  that their parent or parents are abusive or narcissistic.
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  It does not mean that because sometimes they, the narcissist
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  cut their parents off because their parents are trying to hold
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  them accountable. You see, their parents are
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  trying to hold them accountable. Their parents are trying to get
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  in their faces. Their parents are trying to do
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  this and do that. Like that happens.
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  Like their parents are trying to hold them to a higher standard
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  that they don't want to be held to.
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  So they limit contact with their parents or cut off all contact
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  with their parents. So just because they don't have
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  a working relationship with their parents does not mean that
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  their parents are abusive or neglectful or narcissistic
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  themselves. Remember I said in the
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  beginning, not every narcissist is created through trauma or
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  neglect. So some narcissists are just
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  they, they can be predisposed genetically sometimes to be
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  narcissistic. You see.
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  So not all narcissistic or not all, not every narcissist has an
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  abusive parent or parents. Some of them might have actually
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  good parents that might be there for you and they might cut those
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  parents off because those parents are holding them
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  accountable. Their parents might take their
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  side, right? So some narcissists will
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  absolutely cut their own parents off because their parents
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  supported you or supported someone else.
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  That is, that is direct possibility of what happens in
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  some of these relationships. That does happen.
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  But they will absolutely cut their parent or parents off
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  because their parent or parents supported you or supported their
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  exes or supported or just went against them and criticized them
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  in some way, shape or form. Like they try to hold them to a
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  higher standard. Hey, you can't be doing this.
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  You can't cheat on your girlfriend, you can't cheat on
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  your boyfriend. You can't hit your partner.
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  You can't do this. You can't do that.
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  And they got tired of it and they cut their parents off.
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  So just because like some, and they will lie, say some
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  narcissists will absolutely lie about their parents and their
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  relationship with their parents. So you have to be prepared for
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  that as a partner or spouse of a narcissist or friend or whoever,
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  whatever role that narcissist is playing in your life, you have
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  to be ready for them to lie because narcissists be lying.
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  Y'all know that Y'all know it to be true.
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  Narcissists will lie they asses off about what they've been
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  experiencing or what they've went through.
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  So if you're dealing with a narcissist or you have dealt
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  with a narcissist before, you definitely, you definitely
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  understand exactly what I'm saying because you know this to
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  be true. Like that narcissistic person
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  will lie about their past. They're like, they'll say that
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  their parents have been their parents were abusive and
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  neglectful and the whole time they'd be lying, right?
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  The parents, they have a good, they have some good parents that
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  they consider, they consider, they consider criticism abuse,
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  like their parents criticize them or try to hold them
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  accountable and they consider that abusive.
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  So they, they, they make it sound like their parents were
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  abusive to them because they held them accountable for
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  something that they have actually, they hold their
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  parents accountable or they, they, they try to hold their
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  parents accountable for something, something that they
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  have actually done. Y'all start sneeze and kind of
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  lost my train of thought. They, their parent, they
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  actually did something and their parents are trying to hold them
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  accountable and they cut their parents off because their
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  parents try to hold them accountable.
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  So some narcissists treat their parents horribly, even though
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  they might have pretty decent parents, their parent, their
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  parent or parents might be decent human beings, or they
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  might have one singular toxic parent and one good parent.
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  But it's very difficult to differentiate between the two
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  because I've talked to narcissists before, right?
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  I've talked to narcissists before who have a narcissistic
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  parent and they hate the other parent.
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  It's crazy how this happens sometimes.
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  Y'all I'll talk to a narcissist over my zoom calls right my one
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  on ones and they'll say my mom was abusive but I accepted the
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  fact that this is who she was. I hated my father because he
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  refused to leave or I hated my mom because she refused to leave
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  my abusive father and kept me in an abusive situation 100% of the
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  time. So they hold the mom or they
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  hold the non narcissistic person accountable.
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  So I've talked to narcissists who felt that right there,
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  who've had to deal, who've dealt with that right there, who've
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  dealt with that as well. And it can be a very, it's a
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  very it's yeah, it's one of the middle grounds right there
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  that's very difficult to cover right there.
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  But anyways, y'all, sorry for the interruptions.
• 11:46
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• 11:48
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• 12:06
  out. Peace.