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BULLSHIT AND BONDAGE - WHO'S HOLDING YOU DOWN? · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:28
to the show today. I really want to say again, I am
0:32
always so appreciative of all your support, all your kind
0:36
words, all your amazing emails and all of your wonderful
0:42
reviews about the podcast. So I'm going to bring up a
0:48
really interesting topic we're going to talk about.
0:50
Well, I'm going to talk about and you're going to listen to my
0:53
crazy rant on a few things, but I want to tell you that I was
1:00
checking my my ratings for the show.
1:04
And again, I couldn't be happier.
1:05
And they have ranked me #1 nationally for the number one
1:13
spot for BDSM podcasts. They have ranked me #1 for the
1:23
best dominatrix podcast show, and that was not only
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nationally, but globally. And so honestly, I couldn't have
1:34
been here without all my listeners and all the people
1:39
that support me now. They get that information
1:45
through Apple, through Spotify, through any forum that you
1:52
listen to my podcast. So I think right now it's on
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probably 15 or 20 music hosts and you know, podcast hosts,
2:04
that kind of thing. And you know, they, they base it
2:08
on how many listens, the reviews, all those things.
2:13
And every country in the sexuality genre.
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I'm in the top 100. And I don't know if you all know
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this, but there are a ton to compete with.
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And I'm just fortunate enough that I, I'm well liked and I'm,
2:30
again, I'm very gracious to that.
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I don't take any of that for granted.
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And again, I wouldn't have those ratings if it weren't for you,
2:38
my listeners and my fans. Now I will say that with good
2:46
followers and fans, there's a few haters and that's OK.
2:53
And I'm not here to, you know, bust anyone's balls or out them
2:58
for being cunts. But I will say there's been one
3:04
that is always kind of stuck out.
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Years ago, he started writing me and telling me about his
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childhood and his horrible father and his mother that
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tolerated the verbal abuse and the alcoholism and, and now how
3:22
he's very submissive. He obviously is a service sub.
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He is a people pleaser and you know, he's in a horrible
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marriage and you know, he struggles with his own mental
3:35
health issues. And for those of you who
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obviously listen to the show, you know that I worked in mental
3:43
health for years and I have the utmost compassion for anyone
3:47
with mental health disorders. I think that, you know, therapy
3:52
is always the best Ave. to take and I think when that is
4:01
helping, I think the other aids are medication.
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And this specific gentleman, he hasn't been very gentlemanly to
4:12
me. You know, for the longest time,
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he was my biggest fan. And I was planning on meeting
4:18
him to do a session. And, you know, I told him, I
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said, you know, I'd even do the session for free.
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And I knew he was financially struggling.
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I mean, not everyone can afford a dominatrix, you know?
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And I was more than happy to see him.
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However, I'd even made the specific arrangements when I was
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traveling upstate that I was going to stop at a, you know, at
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a halfway point in his and near his city.
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But my husband, who, you know, if you got a good spouse and you
4:58
want to keep the marriage happy, sometimes you just have to pass
5:01
by your spouse. And my spouse said, look, no one
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is going to take your time or mine in this venture for you to
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do a free session. And so, you know, I had to tell
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this person, Hey, I can't do it. You know, I can, I can give you
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a discount and I can do a nice session for you still.
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And I can do, you know, a lot in an hour's time.
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You know, we could do the scene. It's bondage, little discipline,
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you know it. I could really bring his his
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insight to seeing a Dom on the next level.
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I think I have that that capability of doing that
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because, you know, I, I enjoy what I do and there's a lot of
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people that come a very far distance to see me.
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So I must be doing something right now.
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This person, he finds time in his life to update his review of
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the podcast and of course if he could give me zero stars he
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would. But he updates it every six
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months give or take. And he has said horrible things
6:29
about myself and my Co hosts and some of the Toms and the Tungen.
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And yet he has that one personal attack against me.
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Now keep in mind, I've done nothing to this man.
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I am not a vindictive person. I'm not a spiteful person.
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I am telling you all this because I want a truce, Steve.
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I know you have a hard on for me and that's fine.
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There's men with actual hard ONS for me all the fucking time.
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They can't listen to my voice in the gym around their wives at
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work. And that's OK.
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And since I know obviously that if you continue to have this
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hard on for me to keep updating your negative review and you
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keep trying to drop me from having a five star review,
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you're only hurting yourself. You seriously are hurting
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yourself. You know, I was planning on
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taking a trip to Virginia, which I'm not a real big fan of
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Virginia, but I have to go through fucking Virginia.
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And you know, I could have said, hey, I'll meet you for coffee,
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you know, and if you're willing to take this truce, I'm even
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willing to talk to you on the phone or, you know, even Zoom
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with you. I have no problems with that.
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What I do have a problem with is someone being malicious against
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me on a continual basis. Now, his last review is always,
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you know, is known thing one sub, two Doms, and that's always
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his screen name. Now this man went to the lengths
8:35
of trying to tell me that he was dead via his fate, his excuse me
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via his daughter's fake e-mail address pretending to be his
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daughter. That I would be devastated by
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the loss of a man I've never met and barely know.
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I only know his tragedies in his life and my heart goes out to
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him for that. I know that we have all had
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horrific experiences in our life, some far worse than
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others, but for the most part, there's people that have
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struggled far worse than we have.
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And so Steve, I'm, I have no problem with the fact of telling
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you that I have no problem doing the truce.
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Easy peasy. You know, if you want a titty
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pic, I'll send you a titty pic for fun.
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But this should end this whole thing.
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You leaving negative reviews, it's petty.
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It's really beneath you. And you're a man in your 50s who
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is married with two children and you have your own issues.
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And you know, the thing of it is, does it really affect me?
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No, because I just got, again, good pods, million pods, several
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forums for podcast ratings. I'm number one.
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And there's a reason behind that.
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And that's because I'm good at my podcast and I have really
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amazing fans that support me. And I'm calling a truce because
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it's the adult thing to do. And although I've never done
10:43
anything malicious against you and I never will, I think it's
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only right to clear the air and have a good conscience to do the
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right thing. And before you gave me rave
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reviews, now they're scathing and bitter as you called me
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bitter and old. I just turned 49.
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I don't feel 49 and I'm blissfully happy.
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I'm very sorry for that if that offends you.
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But I live the fucking dream, I really do.
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And why? Because I've made the right
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choices and I've always tried to put good out in my life to
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others. I've sacrificed a lot of things
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for the sake of others. I've ran a homeless shelter.
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I have cared for the elderly. I have continued to help friends
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and family at their times of need.
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And I'll continue to do so. To me, I have been very selfless
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and I will continue to be that selfless individual.
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Now if you choose to continue, you know every couple months
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writing me negative reviews, so be it.
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But if you continue to be malicious like this and waste
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your time, you can go ahead. Keep doing that.
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I will give you some information to a lovely Dom who is fucking
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nuts and you know, you can pair up with her and you can talk all
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the shit you want to about me with her.
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She'd love it. And yeah, I'm sure you have a
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blast. You know, I have no problem with
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that. I really don't.
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I just find it interesting and sad because I'm doing this
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honestly, because the reviews, they don't really affect me.
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But what affects me is knowing that someone has such a fucking
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hard on for me for almost 4 years that they're willing to
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continue to update their fucking miserable review of me, you
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know? And like I said, I'll be nice.
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I can talk to you on the phone. I can say, hey, I wiped my hands
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off all this and we can move forward as acquaintances, you
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know, in the kink lifestyle. We can talk kink.
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You can tell me your problems. I'll listen.
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We can exchange emails on occasion.
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I'm good with that too. You know, I just feel like I
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deal with enough bullshit every fucking day.
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And although my life is blissful on so many levels, like amazing
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husband, great family, good friends, you know, a nice sweet
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little Sissy with a sexy little ass that I get to spank and fuck
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and do whatever the fuck I want. And so I can't complain about
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that. But you know, this past week,
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someone who really thought it would be OK to yell and bitch at
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me at one point in my own home just because he was having a
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rough day, It just doesn't bode well with me.
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And then he thinks that, you know, because he lives a
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dysfunctional life and he thinks it's cool that he can give me a
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shit apology where subconsciously he makes enough
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grammatical errors in this set apology that you can see the
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underlying subconscious true feeling of how he feels towards
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me is all one big fucking facade.
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And I'm not a fake ass bitch. I have no need to be a fake ass
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bitch. I am a dominatrix who can be a
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fucking bitch in that dungeon if you want me to be, or I can be
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the kindest fucking person you need me to be.
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I'm genuine, I'm real, I'm not a malicious bitch and I'm not
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stupid. So I see right through bullshit
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all day long and that's why I will cut ties with you if you
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fuck me over. So for me to come to this
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conclusion of I'm going to give you a truce, it's only because
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you suffer with mental health issues and I feel sorry for you
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that you would feel compelled to continue to update your review
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on the podcast. It's sad.
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So you can either be a man and have some, you know, integrity
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on some level, or you can be a cunt and you can continue to be
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miserable. And you can be at that point in
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your life where you're, I think you're what, 54 now?
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That you'll never meet me. I'll never speak with you.
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You won't get a titty picture of me.
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And yeah, you'll live your life in Virginia still hating me,
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still still feeling miserable, and knowing that as you said in
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your last review, Oh, this podcast used to be great and now
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it sucks so bad. NIA used to be fun and cheery.
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Now she just sounds old and bitter.
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I guess karma has a way of making things right, huh?
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Well, like I said, Steve, if you think that my life and karma has
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gotten me, you are sadly mistaken.
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Now feel so much better. Just want to get that out
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because, you know, a lot of people would tell me and they'd
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give me the advice. Mia, don't be bothered by that.
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You know, there's a bunch of haters, and I've had my share,
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But you know, when this person is mentally struggling and he
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makes it his sole goal to try to disparage me and the podcast.
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And the thing of it is, it's not just me.
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It's the fact that you take something that to me is a
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beautiful thing, reaching out to, you know, millions of people
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daily that enjoy the things that I say about BDSM and kink and
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sex and relationships. You take all those great things
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where it's so taboo to even talk about and so many people can't
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talk about it, and you discredit me and disparage that one thing
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because you're pissed off that I didn't see you for free.
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And you go to great lengths to fake a death your own lie,
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pretend to be your daughter and pretend to be unmarried living
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with your brother, and all these things that aren't true.
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And I feel bad for you, I really do.
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Like I said, life is not easy for anyone in this existence.
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I could write a book about my own experiences.
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We've all suffered heartbreak, we've all suffered many things.
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And there's people every day that listen to this podcast
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because it makes their life a little brighter.
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So if you're willing to piss on other people and disparage what
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I do, shame on you. After that, if you don't come to
19:51
this truce, I don't feel sorry for you anymore.
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So now after that little rant. I'm going to tell you it's time
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to talk bondage. It's time to talk things that
20:17
are fun and light and sexual, and that's what we do in BDSM
20:28
now. The sexual aspect is for favored
20:32
partners and levels of intimacy that you share with special
20:37
people. Now the other part of BDSM is
20:42
something cathartic and beautiful and there was a lovely
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lady who wrote me a comment on fat and she said that it was so
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great that I talked about therapeutic BDSM and how
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cathartic it can be to someone who has struggled and suffered
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with abuse and past trauma in their life.
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And I think we've all been to that point to where we need
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something to hold on to. I was recently speaking with a
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friend of mine who I met in the Tunge in almost a year ago now,
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and he's struggling in his own way because something that he's
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gone through has been a horrible marriage and a woman that
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continues to make his life miserable on a lot of levels has
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affected his time here at the dungeon.
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And that in itself reminded me of good old Steve.
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You know, it's interesting that as individuals, we always have
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choices. We can choose to do the right
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thing, or we can choose to do the malicious, mean, vintictive
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thing. I think that I always try to do
22:35
the right thing, but you know, when you're in a horrible
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marriage and you're in a life that you're unhappy with taking
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it out on others, it never goes well.
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Or when you're insecure and you have feelings about a specific
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person you think impacts your life and it really doesn't.
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It's all about your insecurity. It's one of those times where
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you have to step back and really make the right choice in all of
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this. Like I said, I don't have ill
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will for Steve. I don't have ill will for people
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that feel compelled to out me to my family who does not know that
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I'm a dominatrix, who feels that calling me all these horrible
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names on social media, they think it might better their life
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situation or life that they fucked up.
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They think that what I have not done in their life effects them,
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but it hasn't. You know, as a Dom, I don't like
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bondage on myself. I feel constricted.
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I feel isolated, suffocated. I feel it's exhausting.
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There's nothing about it that I enjoy, but I like to do it to
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other people. And that's why when I was
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thinking about doing this episode, I thought, in life, we
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have bonds that control us. It's controlling our lives in a
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physical way that makes things miserable for us.
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You know when you hold back someone from what they really
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want to do, you're hurting yourself, you're hurting the
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relationship. And you know when you create
25:05
double standards for yourself and in your relationship, create
25:12
double standards when you don't see the harm that you create for
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your partner, you won't have a relationship long.
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You won't have a successful marriage.
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And so my friend who has struggled with having a very
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difficult marriage for a very long time, it's been very hard
25:44
for him. And so when people come to us in
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the dungeon and they want bondage, bondage correlates to
26:00
inner struggles. And it correlates primarily at a
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point in your life where it's prepubescent growing up, usually
26:14
with an alcoholic father or an abusive parent.
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And bondage brings that level of security to you.
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And it can be as soon as you're, you know, 1213 years old, you
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want to be tied up or you want to be confined in a little space
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because it's that safe space that no one can hurt you.
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And again, people have had to struggle that way as they do
26:52
today. And so when people come to the
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dungeon, I love to do Saran wrap bondage.
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I love to wrap them up like they're my special little
27:12
butterfly. And I provide them with a little
27:16
cocoon and I do the session and I talk to them and I tell them
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that everything is going to be OK and we're going to get
27:27
through this. And through the session.
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I'll do whatever they want. Sometimes it can be spankings or
27:39
electrical play or smoking. They can be all those things.
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My little cupcake that I just met, we did Saran wrap bondage
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and it's always a beautiful thing because at the end I cut
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them out of their cocoon and they come out of their shell as
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a butterfly, a new beginning. And to me, that is what the
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level of BDSM that you can create with someone.
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Now, you can call it a mind fuck or you can simply call it a
28:24
cathartic session of realization.
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And it's about realizing who you are and what you want in this
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life, what you want to experience.
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You know, you have to bring meaning to your life.
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You have to find purpose. Finding purpose with malicious
28:52
intent, you'll accomplish nothing.
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You'll accomplish an anger eating away at your soul, and it
29:05
will do nothing but make you better and miserable.
29:12
So when people come to the dungeon and they want to explore
29:17
bondage, sometimes they want to get in the back bed.
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I know when I was speaking with Layla London a few weeks ago,
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she was like, I don't know, when you talk about that back bed,
29:29
it's like really fucking freaks her out.
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But I told her, I said, you get in that back bed and it's a
29:39
second skin. It has air holes right at your
29:43
mouth and your nose, and you're laying there and you turn on the
29:50
vacuum and it encases you in a way that is giving you one big
29:56
hug, as a lot of people like to refer it as.
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And I've known people to get in that back bed and they fall
30:03
asleep and it's probably the best sleep they get for two or
30:07
three hours. I know my good friend Wes, it's
30:12
his birthday. Happy birthday, Wes.
30:16
He loves the back bed. He loves it so much.
30:21
He's ordering me a new one because mine has seen better
30:26
days. It's gotten so much use and
30:31
there's been so many people to enjoy it.
30:35
But you know, if you're at home and you don't have a back bed,
30:38
that's OK. You know, I don't always suggest
30:42
rope for beginners, but I always suggest Saran wrap.
30:46
Saran wrap is that lovely plastic feeling of just sheer
30:55
comfort for a lot of people that have had troubling experiences.
31:01
And when they get in that Saran wrap, they feel secure and they
31:08
know that when I'm with them, they're safe.
31:13
And that's something to me very special.
31:17
When you're in this lifestyle, you need to always look for a
31:23
Dom who has your best interest. And if you don't go to a Dom and
31:29
you decide to play with someone, you need to make sure that their
31:33
best interest is with you, that you have their best interests as
31:37
well. And it's a mutual balance of
31:41
things. And so people who are inclined
31:47
to do rope, you know, really educate yourself on it.
31:54
They have really great books about rigging.
31:57
They have great books about shibari and learning to how to
32:02
do knots and ties. And you know, you don't always
32:07
need to have a pair of safety shears just in case.
32:12
But in every community, there's always rigors.
32:18
And so it's always finding that perfect rigor to help you have
32:22
that perfect experience and to make it special for you.
32:29
And you know, I'm not a big rope person.
32:34
I'll use them in a scene. You know, you like anything you
32:38
do bondage, you have to really be very careful and where your
32:43
placement is. You don't want to put anything
32:46
on joints. You don't want any loss of blood
32:50
flow. You want to be conscious of
32:52
where you put those ropes. My thing that I always enjoy is
33:02
chains and shackles and handcuffs.
33:08
Just metal in general. I think it is erotic.
33:14
I think it's permanent. It's hard to break and I do love
33:20
permanence. I do love to feel those cold
33:26
metal chains against skin. It's such an erotic feeling that
33:38
yeah, it gets me wet real fucking quick.
33:43
I love it. I had someone bent over my
33:48
surgical table and it's fucking cold steel.
33:51
And his legs were shackled and chained to the table and his
33:57
arms were extended over it. And I fucked the shit out of him
34:01
with my strap on and I enjoyed every minute of it.
34:05
And I said to him, if you only knew how wet you made my pussy.
34:16
Right now. Life is too short not to
34:21
experience things that you want, like BDSM.
34:26
As long as you're not hurting anyone or hurting yourself in a
34:31
harmful way, you need to live your best life.
34:36
You need to be happy and find happiness.
34:40
Now I will say there's one really great guy and we
34:44
communicate via e-mail. He's in Australia and he sent me
34:52
a few videos that I did a nice compilation.
34:55
You can find it on the Call Me Mistress channel on YouTube.
34:58
You can watch it. It's bondage in quicksand.
35:03
He loves it. He loves submerging himself in
35:07
quicksand and crawling back out. He, he wears the swim trunks,
35:12
but he's got a hard on underneath.
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He loves it. And with the quicksand, he said
35:20
it just swallows you up and he loves it.
35:24
He just, there's no other words that describes, he said, how it
35:28
feels. I don't recommend just a novice
35:33
going out and finding a quicksand hole and sliding in.
35:39
You won't know your strength or your capabilities and getting
35:42
out, especially if you sink yourself down entirely too deep.
35:46
Now he's used to it. He makes videos and he smokes
35:50
cigarettes and he said that he would love for me to be there.
35:55
And I'm going to tell you right now, when I go to Australia, I'm
35:58
going to meet the man. I'm going to go to a lovely
36:01
little beach, and I'm going to watch him submerge himself into
36:04
quicksand. And I'll be happy to blow in his
36:07
face from a distance because I'm not sinking myself into
36:11
quicksand. But again, listeners, I know
36:23
this isn't my usual kind of episode, but I think that you
36:27
all can sympathize with someone who struggles with mental
36:31
health. And I think you can sympathize
36:36
with with people that struggle. And I think that putting life in
36:42
perspective and what is important to you and how you
36:47
feel about yourself, it's, it's the most important thing, how
36:51
you feel on the outlook of life and being happy.
36:58
And you know, where there's negative, there's always
37:02
positive. So I hope that we can call it a
37:09
truce, Steve, and move forward. I think the last two years of
37:14
being angry with me for nothing has done nothing for you.
37:27
Now I will say as well, over the weekend I did the session where
37:35
I did tie someone up in Roe bondage and it was erotic and
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fun and he was in defeat. So I was happy to shove my foot
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in his mouth until he gagged and I might have let him throw open
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his mouth just a little. I have size 9 shoe.
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It wasn't an easy swallow for him, but then again, I didn't
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care and neither did he. I think that through bondage,
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through compassion and understanding and communication
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and all that we do in this lifestyle is critical and
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finding that love towards yourself and to others is always
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what is most important. So go with love, be happy, find
38:39
yourself and find yourself in kink and what makes your world
38:44
go around. All right, so until then, this
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has been the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
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Thank you to all my loyal fans, I love you all.