Latest / Loud & Lifted / Overcoming Limiting Beliefs with Jill Avey

Transcript

Overcoming Limiting Beliefs with Jill Avey · Loud & Lifted

0:00
Welcome to Loud and Lifted, the podcast where
0:02
we turn up the volume on women rewriting the
0:05
rules of leadership and success. I'm your host,
0:08
Betsy Hamm. Today's guest is Jill Avey, a career
0:12
success coach and the force behind Sister Smart.
0:15
a leadership program that helps women rise into
0:18
director and VP roles with clarity and confidence.
0:21
Jill works with high performing women to expand
0:23
their influence, develop their leadership strengths,
0:26
and navigate gender bias without burning out
0:29
or playing small. In this episode, we dig into
0:33
beliefs and behaviors that quietly hold us back,
0:36
like the busyness trap. people pleasing, and
0:38
your inner critic. If you ever felt like you
0:41
had to hustle harder just to prove yourself or
0:43
wonder why confidence doesn't always come with
0:46
confidence, this conversation is for you. Jill
0:58
Avey, welcome to Loud and Lifted. Thank you so
1:01
much for being here. Thanks so much for having
1:03
me. I'm really looking forward to talking. Yes.
1:06
So, you know, Loud and Lifted is all about women
1:09
supporting women. And of course, a lot of professional
1:11
development conversations from women who have
1:13
been there and done that and just leadership
1:15
lessons that we can learn. And that's literally
1:19
your job. You support women and you're helping
1:22
them grow professionally. So tell us a little
1:24
bit about what you do. It's true. That's what
1:27
I think about all day, every day. And you can
1:30
ask my husband, it's even in evenings and weekends.
1:33
I'm just sort of obsessed with how we can help
1:37
women move up through the. the corporate ladder,
1:40
basically. And I say that because it's not always
1:43
the corporate ladder. Sometimes it's, you know,
1:45
heading off to do an entrepreneurial thing or,
1:48
you know, there's so many different ways that
1:51
we can make a living and be fabulously successful
1:53
in what success means to us. And so that's one
1:57
of the things that I really love is to help women
2:00
find what that is. And, you know, if that is
2:04
getting promoted within an organization, how
2:06
can they get that visibility? have people see
2:10
what their true potential is because I feel like
2:12
so many women get overlooked because they're
2:14
not that classic male model that shows that executive
2:19
presence that's kind of the classic mold that
2:21
we're trying to fit in sometimes. And the truth
2:24
is that we don't have to fit into it. We can
2:26
do it our way and bring our unique talents to
2:29
the workforce and do what we love the way we
2:32
love it and still be able to be successful within
2:36
an organization. Oh my gosh, I love that. I love
2:39
that. That's like your daily focus. That's very
2:42
cool and what an ability to make an impact. And
2:44
it's funny, I grew up in a very big corporate
2:47
organization, went to a very small corporate
2:50
organization and didn't really think about the
2:52
entrepreneurial piece of it and like sort of
2:54
running your own business until this recent phase
2:56
of my career. But it's so interesting, especially
2:59
starting this podcast, the women I talk to, whether
3:01
they are running their own clothing company or
3:04
CEOs, everyone sort of has the same battles that
3:08
they have to fight or a lot of the internal,
3:10
we'll call them demons that they're dealing with.
3:12
So as you've gone through your career supporting
3:15
women, what are some of the biggest things or
3:17
challenges that you see really across the board
3:21
that is really stopping women or making it a
3:24
little bit more challenging for them in order
3:26
to grow? That's a good question. I think that
3:29
the overarching thing that women come to me for
3:33
is confidence. And how do we build confidence?
3:37
I think that's the tricky part because I think
3:40
for women that confidence is built in many ways.
3:44
Men kind of do this fake it till you make it
3:47
thing. And then they look, you know, men are
3:49
really great at learning by doing and women tend
3:52
to like to learn it first and then do it. And
3:55
it's just how we're all raised. And so I think
3:59
there's a there's a certain, you know, kind of
4:01
recipe that helps women. to start to see themselves
4:05
as that bigger version of themselves. I was just
4:09
listening to this fabulous book today and she
4:12
said, she used the analogy of a snake, how a
4:14
snake grows and then they shed their skin as
4:16
they're growing more and more, they're shedding
4:18
their skin and that allows them. the ability
4:21
to get bigger and they can't get bigger until
4:24
they shed that skin. And so I think that's one
4:27
of the things that that we really need to do
4:29
as women. And the shedding of the skin is the
4:32
mindset work that we really need to do to be
4:35
able to see ourselves in that bigger role. Because
4:38
a lot of women will hold themselves back just
4:40
thinking, oh, no, that's not me. You know, oh,
4:43
I couldn't do that. Well, I don't really see
4:44
myself as that. You know, I could never I mean,
4:47
I told myself. when I was VP, I was the number
4:50
three person in the company. And I said, I never
4:52
wanted to be the top person. And guess what I
4:56
am today is the leader of a company and I am
5:00
way more visible than I would ever have been
5:03
at that, leading that company. And so all of
5:06
this is just mindset work and limiting beliefs
5:09
that hold us back. And so I think that that's.
5:12
That's underlying everything. There's a whole
5:15
bunch of tactics and things that we need to do
5:17
and strategies and navigating politics and building
5:21
your network and your visibility and how you're
5:25
presenting yourself and there's all of that.
5:28
But you can't do any of that until you get the
5:30
mindset piece done first. That's that makes so
5:33
much sense and you know, every single episode
5:36
has talked about confidence and you know Obviously
5:39
the women we're talking to are in higher positions
5:41
or started their own company So whether they
5:43
make it they make it they still talk about the
5:45
importance of confidence and to your point It's
5:48
great. We're like, oh, yes, I need to be more
5:50
confident. But how do you do that? And the mindset
5:53
work is is very interesting So how does somebody
5:55
even start to focus on the mindset? One of the
6:00
first things to do is to think about your limiting
6:03
beliefs. And so, you know, you can just ask Chad
6:07
GPT what are limiting beliefs and it can give
6:10
you a list of them and you can kind of check
6:12
off. Yeah, I got that one. I got that one. I
6:14
remember doing that. It was a list of about a
6:16
hundred and I checked off like 65 of them. Oh,
6:20
so you're saying literally ask Chad GPT limiting
6:22
beliefs like that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Like,
6:26
you know, because you can Google this stuff too,
6:28
but I think we all do GPT now. So, you know,
6:32
you can kind of look at the list and say, okay,
6:34
which one of those feels true to me? And then
6:37
you can go about flipping those. And in our program,
6:42
we do a lot of work on what's called the saboteurs.
6:44
And this is some work with positive intelligence.
6:47
It's work by Shirzad Shamim and we use an app
6:51
guided. program. It's called the PQ Bootcamp
6:54
that we do. And it's some of my clients favorite
6:57
work because these limiting beliefs are all formed
7:00
by saboteurs. And there's the brilliance of Sherzad's
7:04
work is that he boiled down, he did the factor
7:07
analysis and boiled down all the saboteurs to
7:09
10 different saboteurs that are kind of universal
7:12
that, you know, we, and we, we develop these
7:15
saboteurs as kids because we're When you're in
7:19
such a vulnerable situation and you don't really
7:21
understand the world, you kind of make up stories
7:23
as to why things happen. And so these saboteurs
7:27
are universal experiences that we all have as
7:30
kids from being vulnerable. And they stay with
7:32
us into adulthood. They stay with us forever.
7:36
But how we work with them changes. And they can
7:40
really hold you back until you start doing this
7:42
work. Interesting. The universal one that we
7:46
have is called the judge. And so that voice is
7:50
like, oh, yeah, you're never going to make it.
7:54
It's because the judge judges you, the other
7:57
people, and the environment. So it's that kind
8:01
of negative Nancy voice in our heads that's always
8:04
dragging us down and always saying, well, it's
8:06
not going to work out anyhow, so why bother?
8:08
And that's a voice that, you know, basically
8:11
runs all day every day in most human beings'
8:14
heads. And so it's when we really start to work
8:18
with that and learn how to say, OK, I hear you,
8:22
but I'm going to go ahead and do this other thing
8:24
anyhow. And, you know, or that's not true because
8:28
and, you know, we can we can start to have, you
8:31
know, kind of some. some relationship with that
8:34
saboteur. And, you know, I call it, you know,
8:37
we're kind of dancing with it instead of having
8:40
it be that kind of boat anchor that's like dragging
8:43
us down. So it's interesting. So there's 10 saboteurs
8:46
and then that plays into the limited beliefs.
8:49
Yeah. And so, you know, when we have these limiting
8:53
beliefs, we can also flip those. So let's say
8:57
I have a belief of I'm always disorganized. you
9:01
can flip it and just start telling yourself,
9:05
actually, I'm quite organized. And it's not going
9:08
to feel true. I mean, some of them I've worked
9:11
on, you know, I'm like laughing at myself as
9:13
I'm saying it to start. But it's amazing when
9:16
you start telling yourself, oh, actually. So
9:19
a real life example is my calendar. I'm terrible
9:21
with calendars. I used to be the person that,
9:24
you know, they would call me, I'd be out shopping
9:26
for some office supplies for the trade show and
9:28
they would call me and they'd be like, the printer's
9:30
here with your proofs, you know, sitting in the
9:32
lobby waiting for you. And because I, you know,
9:34
I have ADHD, so I have the time blind list. And
9:36
so I used to always tell myself I was terrible
9:39
with calendars. And so what I did to flip that
9:42
is I said, that's not like me. And whenever I
9:47
had a calendar snafu, I was like, that's not
9:50
like me. Actually, I'm really good with my calendar.
9:52
And so that was the one that I was like literally
9:54
laughing at myself when I started saying it.
9:57
But honestly, I I still have occasional calendar
9:59
snafu, but nothing like what it used to be. And
10:02
I'm really aware of my calendar all the time.
10:04
You know, being a coach, I do have to be aware
10:06
of it all the time, but it's really changed how
10:09
I feel about it and how I see myself. And so
10:13
that makes a difference. And it makes you start
10:15
behaving differently when you start telling yourself
10:19
a different story. Oh, I like that. You start
10:22
behaving differently when you start telling yourself
10:24
a different story. That's good. That's definitely
10:26
one of our key takeaways for sure. And it's funny
10:29
because I was thinking as you were saying that
10:31
an example that comes to my mind is when I was
10:34
first starting off my career as a marketing person
10:36
and of course marketing people especially. 27
10:38
years ago, we get a bad rap about accounting
10:40
or just not understanding numbers, right? And
10:43
you start to believe that. And I just maybe wasn't
10:46
exposed to it. And I was like, you know what?
10:48
I'm not going to be that marketing person who
10:49
doesn't understand the finances and the numbers.
10:53
Granted, I went to get my MBA, which was helpful,
10:55
but I would correct people. I'm like, I'm not
10:58
bad with numbers. I'm fine. I can review spreadsheets.
11:01
I can review P &Ls. I'm not going to necessarily
11:03
create it, but I'm fine. I had to convince myself
11:08
and do a little work on the side to get better.
11:11
If you say that, I feel like other people are
11:14
saying that. If you're telling me you're bad
11:15
at your calendar and you miss something, I'm
11:17
like, oh, well, yeah, Jill, you're always bad
11:18
at your calendar. People start to believe that
11:22
around you. Exactly. Its cognitive dissonance
11:25
is what they call it, where you want to behave
11:28
like what you say or what you think. And so when
11:31
you start changing what you think, you'll instinctively
11:34
start to change your behavior because your brain
11:38
wants to connect those two together and have
11:40
it be true. Interesting. That's so cool. So what
11:44
else do you think is one of the challenges that
11:45
women overcome in order to be successful? That's
11:48
a big one. That's a huge one. We could talk probably
11:50
an hour about just that. But what else do you
11:53
continue to see that you're helping women in
11:55
leadership work through? One of the things that
11:58
we work on is executive presence because often
12:01
women don't put enough time on that and they
12:03
get criticized for executive presence for a lot
12:05
of reasons. And only one of them is that they
12:07
actually need more executive presence. A lot
12:10
of times it's code for we don't see you as a
12:12
leader. And that can be that you're not acting
12:15
strategically enough. It can be a lot of things.
12:17
But when it actually comes to executive presence,
12:19
we do need that. And we do need to level it up
12:22
at every level that we're at. And so thinking
12:26
about the presence that you need to be portraying
12:29
as that next level leader, because the truth
12:32
is that women get hired. based on their performance
12:36
and men get hired based on their potential. And
12:38
so you have to show them you can do the job before
12:42
you're going to get the job. Interesting. And
12:44
part of that's having the right presence for
12:46
it. And can you give a few details? I totally
12:48
get executive presence and I can't tell you how
12:50
many times I heard, especially when I went to
12:51
the big organization, people being told that.
12:54
And sometimes you're like, okay, I can see that.
12:56
If for the next level, other times you're like,
12:57
is that... your excuse for strategy or whatever.
13:01
What are some of those elements that tend to
13:03
hold women back when it comes to executive presence?
13:06
Let's define it first for those who aren't familiar
13:09
with it. Executive presence is that special something
13:11
that tells people that you're the leader. You've
13:14
seen it. You've seen somebody walk into the room
13:16
and you're like, oh, they're the boss. You can
13:19
see it in pictures. hard to define because it's
13:24
a feeling. And so Sylvia Ann Hewlett has the
13:28
most simple definition of it. It's communication
13:31
plus gravitas plus appearance. Now what is gravitas?
13:36
That's a little bit hard to define as well. But
13:38
it's comprised of... In our program, we use the
13:46
Bates communication model because it's a little
13:48
bit more sophisticated as far as it has a lot
13:51
more nuance to it. It has 15 different facets.
13:54
The facets that I find that women most often
13:57
need to work on is the assertiveness piece, which
14:00
is something that actually I think almost everybody
14:04
needs to work on. It's not just women, but it
14:06
is something that women, it's hard to be assertive
14:09
because assertiveness is about taking on healthy
14:12
conflict and resolving things in a way that doesn't
14:15
shut others down and So, you know we have a lot
14:19
of people pleasing and perfectionism kind of
14:22
influences and how in how women are raised So
14:25
that's something that's really common is that
14:27
women feel like they don't want to make waves
14:29
often because of those things so that that one
14:32
can be a big challenge and then Authenticity
14:35
is another one. That's really a big deal because
14:38
women want to feel authentic And they don't want
14:41
to give up who they are and their talents to
14:46
try to fit into some mold. And so that's why
14:49
we work a lot on how can you bring your authentic
14:52
self in? What is your authentic self? Really
14:55
understanding yourself. We walk around in these
14:58
bodies all day, but we don't necessarily know
15:00
ourselves. And so that's actually the first step
15:03
in our program is getting to know yourself. And
15:05
then we work on executive presence. when you're
15:09
really confident about who you are and that you
15:11
know who you are, then you can bring that out
15:13
to the world in a much bigger way. And thinking
15:17
about how you project yourself and how you connect
15:20
with others is also really important. And then
15:25
just how you're treating people. So what's the
15:29
actual social intelligence that you're bringing
15:31
to your work? That's important to you. And do
15:34
women tend to be stronger at the social emotional
15:38
intelligence than men as leaders? I find that
15:42
in my research, women feel very confident in
15:46
knowing what they're feeling. but they're not
15:49
necessarily so confident in the emotional regulation
15:51
piece. So sometimes the emotions are taking the
15:54
reins and that's the piece that they're struggling
15:56
with more. For guys, it's more knowing what they're
15:58
feeling is the challenge. I think everybody struggles
16:01
with social intelligence though, which is understanding
16:03
your impact on others. And so that's something
16:07
that as leaders rise up higher and higher in
16:09
the organization, the social intelligence becomes
16:11
really important because It's hard to know what
16:16
your impact is the farther away you get from
16:18
people and you have that leader impact where
16:22
everything is bigger because you're the leader
16:24
and your voice is louder, everything is amplified.
16:29
It's a little bit harder to understand that.
16:31
That's the work a lot of coaches are really working
16:33
on with the C -suite leaders. I remember years
16:37
ago, my woman, vice president, and she said to
16:41
me, people as I was trying to grow in the organization,
16:43
she's like, people are watching you. And she's
16:45
like, whether it's people above you who are seeing
16:47
if you have the ability to move on to the next
16:50
step, she's like, but people at your level and
16:52
lower were watching you like they're learning
16:54
from you are judging you, but are bad, you know,
16:57
and I'll never forget her saying that to me,
16:59
I just I was like, so taken aback because of
17:01
course it's true, but you don't think about it.
17:03
Like, yeah, people are watching you and they're
17:04
making opinions based on your presence and how
17:07
you're showing up and how you're communicating.
17:09
But, you know, I think it's something that after
17:11
she said that to me, I was more aware of. And
17:13
sometimes it's a little weird, but I kept that.
17:15
And especially as I continue to grow in roles
17:18
and especially, you know, higher level leadership,
17:20
it's like, okay, I need to be a good example.
17:22
And I need to make sure that I. didn't roll my
17:24
eyes in a meeting or, you know, just like those
17:27
little things that you often take for granted
17:29
or just that's what adds up to how you're representing
17:31
yourself and how people talk about you. I think
17:33
that's, I think it's so important. It's, it's
17:36
easy to get, uh, hung up on the stuff that maybe
17:38
isn't as relevant to, you know, that part of
17:42
it, but just knowing like, okay, those little
17:44
things all ended up with how you talk in a meeting
17:46
and how you cut in or disorganize or, or how
17:49
you cut somebody off. It's just all, it's all
17:52
part of it. So. It's really important to understand
17:55
that. You made a point, and actually it was perfect
17:58
timing because I got an email from you today,
18:00
about people pleasing and how our schedule is
18:04
often run by the ability that we can't say no
18:07
and the busyness of time. So let's talk a little
18:09
bit about that whole busyness trap in the people
18:12
pleasing piece that I think women tend to fall
18:15
into. Yeah. In my research, I saw that this was
18:20
something that really held women back that they
18:23
weren't always aware of. It wasn't something
18:25
that women were asking me for, but it was something
18:27
that I witnessed. And so I made a whole module
18:30
in my program that's actually one of people's
18:32
favorite work because we tend to put so much
18:37
on our plate. And I think that people pleasing
18:39
is a big part of that, that we have a hard time
18:42
saying no is, you know, we feel an incredible.
18:47
pressure to say yes to things for people to like
18:50
us to you know women are socialized to be helpful
18:54
pleasing and nice and There's a certain amount
18:57
of that that we really have to actually do in
19:01
the workplace to be successful and so figuring
19:04
out How much is enough is really the trick here?
19:08
And so there's three there's three unhelpful
19:12
habits. I call them people pleasing perfectionism
19:15
and overvaluing expertise. And the overvaluing
19:19
expertise piece is, oh, if I just get a little
19:22
more education, if I get another certification,
19:24
if I can just do a better job, then it will be
19:29
okay. And a lot of times we're putting more on
19:30
our plate because of that. And we might. you
19:33
know, have volunteering, we might have, you know,
19:36
extra school, you know, and maybe we're not learning
19:39
the right things even. But we're trying harder
19:42
and harder trying to get there. Perfectionism.
19:45
Yeah, perfectionism is and so to define that
19:48
one is just that going like it's important to
19:53
do a good job, but going to the nth degree on
19:56
things that can actually really reduce your followership
20:00
because people don't want to work for a leader
20:02
that they can never please. And so that can be
20:06
a huge problem. And you can, you know, I know
20:08
I, this is something I've suffered with myself
20:10
and I've lost great vendors because of it. And,
20:14
you know, I had big lessons of like, how much
20:16
is enough because we aren't really, we know we
20:18
have to do more, but we don't really know where
20:20
that upper limit is and what's enough. So how
20:24
to get, how to get over that. That's a really
20:27
good question. So my advice is to figure out
20:30
what's really important for you to shift from
20:34
being perfect to excellent and to learn how to
20:39
say no in a way that will keep the doors open
20:41
and not shut them. That's really good. And even
20:45
from a priority standpoint, right? Like I can
20:47
think of, I mean, I've done it myself too, or
20:49
you feel like if you're producing so much and
20:51
you're involved in so much, it just, it shows
20:53
your value or shows your worth. And especially
20:55
I think earlier in your career, when you're trying
20:57
to prove yourself, like it's just like, yep,
20:58
I'll do that. I'll take that on. And it's just
21:00
that constant yes. And that, first of all, you're
21:03
probably not going to do anything great because
21:05
you have too many things going on. But at the
21:06
end of the day, then you just become this workhorse.
21:08
And that's kind of where people They kind of
21:11
like hold you at that position versus being able
21:14
to think bigger, think strategically. This is
21:17
a big problem with the women that I work with
21:19
because I tend to work with women at the director
21:22
and VP level who want to move up and they'll
21:25
get stuck at their level because they're so valuable
21:29
where they are and they're not taking the time.
21:32
They're working too hard in the job and they're
21:35
not working on their career. and they're not
21:38
taking the time to create the relationships that
21:40
they need to move up to the next level. And so
21:43
it's really interesting. And that's very different
21:45
skill set, right? Like I think there's been times
21:46
in my career, we see somebody who's really good
21:48
at executing and doing tasks. And that's great.
21:51
You need those people, but that might not be
21:53
the same person who can lead a team, think strategically,
21:56
connect the dots, go out and work on their career.
21:58
So there's kind of two different skill sets.
22:00
And sometimes I think you can transfer those,
22:03
you know, move to the next level, but then sometimes
22:05
it's not. And that's okay. too. But I think it's
22:08
trying to figure out where you want to grow and
22:10
what you want to do. Yeah. That's a good point.
22:13
Like figuring out if you like being the doer
22:14
or the leader is an important step because if
22:17
you don't value leading, you should not move
22:20
up in that way. You can move up in different
22:22
ways and master your craft, but it's helpful
22:26
to figure out if you want to be in leadership
22:28
or not. for the love of leadership, because if
22:31
you don't love it, it's going to be miserable.
22:33
Don't do it for the title. Don't do it for the
22:35
money. You're going to be miserable. There's
22:37
a lot that comes on with the leading team or
22:40
having more responsibility. I think sometimes
22:42
people forget that part. They're like, oh, more
22:44
money. That sounds good. Yeah. But if you don't
22:46
like working with humans and you don't like problem
22:48
solving, then you're going to get burned out.
22:53
Exactly. So how do we think bigger and how do
22:55
we have that permission to expand and grow? sort
22:58
of back to the snake. Yeah, thinking bigger is
23:02
a continual practice in my mind. It's something
23:05
that you always have to be thinking about. One
23:07
of the things that's a really great habit to
23:11
do is I call it daily wins journaling. And just
23:14
at the end of every day, I'm an advocate of planning
23:17
your next day at the end of the day. That's how
23:21
I sleep well every night. But also in that process,
23:25
writing down three maybe five things that are
23:29
going well, things that went well today. It's
23:32
incredibly confidence building to day after day
23:34
after day, look at what you did well. And we
23:37
so rarely do that. We accomplish something and
23:40
then we run onto the next thing without even
23:42
a moment's thought about how did I do that? What
23:47
was it that I brought to this? And just stopping
23:49
to think about that every day. really helps you
23:53
to start believing in yourself and believing
23:55
in what you can do. And one saying that I love
24:00
to remember is confidence doesn't mean that I
24:02
know how to do it all. Confidence means that
24:05
I'm going to be able to figure it out when I
24:07
get there. I love that. That's great. And you
24:10
said you write those down, right? That's like
24:12
you're writing your wins down. I think that's
24:14
really important and it's funny because that
24:16
just reminded me early in my career, I had a
24:18
boss who told me to start a victory folder. And
24:20
this is maybe when everything wasn't so digital.
24:22
But then I did have it on an email at some point
24:24
where whether it was a nice email somebody sent
24:27
to you saying great job on this project or just
24:29
something that was positive, I put it in this
24:31
folder, whether it was a paper folder or email.
24:34
And I would just kind of do it as I went. And
24:35
then every once in a while, maybe if you're having
24:37
a bad day, I'd pick it up and be like, Oh, okay.
24:40
I don't suck. It was just sort of that like,
24:43
because you're right, we're moving so quickly
24:45
and we forget those wins and we forget those
24:47
victories. So I love the idea of doing that on
24:50
a daily basis because there's always something,
24:52
but I think that's great to think about it and
24:54
then also write it down because that goes back
24:56
to that confidence building that we all need
24:58
to focus on building the confidence. I love that
25:02
because one of the things that I actually even
25:04
advocate is put making a notebook with your victories.
25:07
And, you know, if it's an email, you can print
25:10
it out and put it in there. But it's something
25:12
that you can just flip through on those days
25:14
where everything seems to be going wrong and
25:17
you need that reminder. And it's just right there.
25:19
And you can just take it off the shelf and look
25:21
at it and not, you know, like having it all pre
25:24
compiled is really important. And one of the
25:26
other things that I like to recommend is to keep
25:29
track of your wins in a separate notebook so
25:32
that you've got just page after page after page
25:34
of things that are going well and that you've
25:36
done well. And that's really fun to look through
25:38
as well. So we're going to have a wind notebook
25:41
and we're going to write down the things that
25:43
we're doing. Well, I love that. And we're going
25:46
to also do the mindset work, right? So those
25:48
are like our kind of like our things that are
25:50
very actionable that all help go back to building
25:52
that confidence. So if you go to my YouTube channel,
25:55
I do have a really popular meditation that's
25:57
called your future self meditation and it helps
26:00
you to visualize. what you're going to look like
26:04
in the future. And it's amazing how it just sort
26:07
of happens. It starts to come to life when you
26:10
start to picture yourself more vividly in that
26:13
future state. Interesting. I love that. I will
26:16
definitely check that out. You touched on this
26:19
a little bit, but I find this super interesting,
26:21
especially because I have teenage daughters,
26:22
is the whole gender socialization and kind of
26:25
breaking the old script. So I think we know how
26:28
are the pleasers and the helpers and maybe we're
26:31
quietly ambitious, but how do we now as adult
26:34
women or maybe for raising girls, how do we break,
26:37
and boys too, how do we break some of those gender
26:40
norms that we've been socialized? I love how
26:44
much we're breaking them right now. I've studied
26:49
a lot about where we came from and how we got
26:54
to where we are, but I love how much that things
26:58
just are really changing and shaking up. I was
27:07
kind of a tomboy growing up, so I've always been
27:09
one to be pushing all that. all those norms and
27:12
pushing the envelope. And I was one to do crazy
27:17
sports that weren't typically things women did
27:20
and stuff like that. And my aunt was a sprinkler
27:23
fitter. And so it's just been something I've
27:28
always really enjoyed. And I just think when
27:31
it comes to women in STEM and things like that,
27:35
my sister's a scientist and dad's an engineer.
27:38
So I have Women friends that are engineers and
27:41
you know, it's just don't ever believe that you
27:44
can't do it Even if it's something that seems
27:47
weird There's always a way there's always somebody
27:50
else that's done it if look for the role models
27:52
because there are women who have broken every
27:55
single stereotype and So look to them and look
27:59
to see what's possible rather than looking around
28:03
you and seeing what everybody else is doing That's
28:06
awesome So if you could wave your magic wand
28:09
and change one thing about women in leadership,
28:12
and especially some of the things that you're
28:13
dealing with with your clients, like what's that
28:15
one thing that you think if women could change
28:17
universally, we would be all in a better place?
28:21
For me, it's believe that you are more than you
28:25
are. Believe that you are bigger, that you can
28:28
do more because we can all do more. We can all
28:32
do things that are more impactful and more significant
28:35
than we're doing today. And even on those days
28:37
when it feels overwhelming, still know in your
28:41
heart that you can. That's awesome. And if you
28:45
don't feel that, then that's why you should have
28:46
that book of wins that you can go back and check
28:49
out. And I love that. So I hope that's a good
28:51
takeaway. Well, thank you, Jill, for joining
28:53
us. We could talk all day about this. But if
28:56
people want to find out more about SisterSmart
28:58
or want to connect with you, where should we
29:00
send them to? SisterSmart .com is our website.
29:05
And I'm on LinkedIn every day. That's kind of
29:07
where I hang out the most. That's where we met.
29:09
Yes. Yes. I love LinkedIn. And I put a post up
29:13
every day for women leaders. And I also have
29:17
a YouTube channel at SisterSmart Leadership,
29:20
which is three seasons of my podcast, which is
29:24
also on Apple and Spotify. Great. And actually,
29:27
Loud & Lifted has a new website. So now we can
29:30
have your bio up on the website and we're going
29:32
to link to all those things on your guest profile
29:34
page. So go directly there or check out LoudAndLiftedPodcast
29:38
.com and we'll have all your information and
29:40
all your links. So thank you so much for being
29:42
here today. Thanks so much for having me. A huge
29:45
thank you to Jill for bringing the clarity, coaching
29:48
and confidence building energy. From journaling
29:51
your wins to reframing your inner dialogue, this
29:54
episode was packed with practical tools and powerful
29:57
reminders. If something in this conversation
30:00
resonate with you, please share it with another
30:02
woman who needs to hear it. Don't forget to subscribe
30:05
to Loud and Lifted. Follow us on Instagram and
30:08
keep showing up loud, lifted and fully yourself.
30:13
Until next time.