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The Childhood Questions We Never Ask Our Grandparents About · Excuse My Grandma

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Poppy's so excited. Keep people asking him to take selfies.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Does he like it? Yeah. I thought the whole thing is that he didn't wanna be
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: on camera. Why do you he likes it now?
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Why do you think he changed his mind?
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: I have no idea.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Welcome back to another episode of Excuse My Grandma. It's Kim and my co host.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Grandma Gail.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: Grandma and I are now in different places. We are recording on video call. I was with grandma for the past week or two. First, were in Palm Beach. Then we went to Key Biscayne in Miami.
• 0:49
  And now I'm back in New York. She's back in Palm Beach.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: So we're in our regular places for March.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: Did you have a good time in Key Biscayne?
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, know, I've never been. And of course, going, we had Friday traffic. So that was a little annoying. Because the best way to travel in Florida right now is the Bright Line.
• 1:09
  It goes every, you know, to about four or five stops that you'd like to go to, and it's clean and fast and wonderful. But to go to Key Biscayne, that was sort of out of the itinerary of the train.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: It only took like two hours though.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: It took two hours and it took exactly door to door. Of course, was a Sunday morning. It took an hour and fifteen minutes to come home. That's good. It was great.
• 1:31
  Poppy kept saying, Oh my God, we're out of Miami already. It's only twelve minutes.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: So and the driver we had on Sunday was going 95 miles an hour and So, he was in the fast it was really a great trip back. But anyway, it was fun. I liked, I really liked Keep Your Skin. I thought it was a little more beachier resort than, you know, here. The beach is a big long spans, a beach in front of the hotel and which also goes, I guess, into other areas besides the hotel.
• 2:03
  And it was very pretty and jammed.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah. There were so many people. Beach and the ocean was really beautiful. And then we went to this lighthouse tour thing, and there was more, like, nature trails to walk around too. Looked at the light house, but I I we didn't really walk
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: all way. But remember what was in the ocean? The stilt houses that were houses that were for some reason in the nineteen thirties, some affluent fishermen put these houses on stilts in the middle of the ocean basically or bay. And then they they there's still seven of them, I think, are still there. But it's a fascinating thing to see just houses in the middle of the water that are existing today.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I think you or Poppy cared more about that than I did. I mean, I I looked in the binoculars or whatever, and I like, That's cool. But I didn't I thought it was very cool. Like, in one ear out the other.
• 3:00
  Like, I don't think I'll ever bring that
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: houses got destroyed in that Andrew, which was a tremendous hurricane in 1992. That it was just a bit of trivia.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah. But no. It was a fun place to make new memories at. And we had connecting rooms, which were very nice.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: But you never opened.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah. You said you put your suitcase in front I of
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: I did. But the one time I wanted to open it up and say something to you, and you locked the door. I don't know who was coming in there. Nobody except for the housekeeper
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: who was Oh, I think it was just locked. Like, I think I wouldn't have unlocked it because I knew you had your suitcase there. So why would
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Whatever. And I have to tell everybody, somebody texted me this morning and wanted to know where those white pants were from. I'm laughing I the children's department in a little sport down here. But the truth is I'm gonna go on a quest now for for white linen pants when I come back to New York because I think it's a great thing. Not the wide wide ones, but a medium size width on the bottom.
• 4:02
  I'm gonna look for them because they're really fun to wear with a t shirt. Just walk around in.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I have to see the one pair I like, I forget where they're from. I know I have a pair from Rails that I like. Right. I felt like there was another brand too, I can look and
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, we have to look because I'm definitely gonna get a couple for the summer because I don't sit in the sun. So for me, they're perfect to if I wanna take a walk outside or sit around a pool, I have these white pants on that, you know, you could wear a shirt with or
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: T shirt. So and I think everybody else wants to do it too because everybody's doctor is telling them not to go let the sun hit their legs or arms anymore. The rays are so strong, especially this time of the year.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay. Well, that's a good plan. You'll do some
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It was a fun weekend. I think the highlight was, of course, the night of the fireworks, the opening of the hotel was really spectacular.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Was I didn't pretty the fireworks.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: But you showed me a picture. No. Heard them. I heard them. Know, they went on.
• 5:02
  I wasn't gonna open my window shade. I had already closed
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: the see them. You just had to get up and peek.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: I know. But I didn't.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Okay. Well, they were really nice. I feel like I'm never that up close to fireworks for some reason.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: These were very close.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah. They looked really beautiful. But, yeah, all in all, a good trip. Back on the grind. If you guys are watching, you can see I still have, like, boxes and some junk in my background.
• 5:24
  I'm sitting in my living room right now. This probably won't be my podcasting spot, but for now, while I still don't have a lot of furniture and still have to take things out of boxes, that's where I'm sitting. Yeah. It's good Lots to do.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Of the of the East, do we see the water back there? Is that the is that the East River? Or that's just the city Street.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: I don't know which way. No.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: I think it faces east.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: Okay. I'm pretty
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: sure that
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: was the street. I don't know. I don't
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: Pretty pretty.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: Thank you. So the other week, we asked you guys what you wish you could have asked your grandparents. So today, we're gonna dive further into some of those questions with grandma, and we'll explore why these questions matter so much to people, especially when I was in Palm Beach this past week. Actually, a few people came up to me in person and specifically loved that they mentioned that they loved this idea and wanted us to do more and that that made them reflect about their own, like, family and things that they wish they could have asked. And last week, if you guys listened, we talked about, like, chapters in life, and people were really interested, Grandma, in your past and and your family and our our family.
• 6:37
  So thank you everyone for commenting and giving your feedback on how it resonated to you with the episode. And, yeah, I just wanna say, like, remember to ask your family members stories about their past. I totally understand how it can be, like, upsetting to not have this information. And I don't know, Grandma, like, what to do when there is this lack of information and, like, potentially regret that people feel that they didn't ask questions.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah. There's no don't ever regret something. You know? It's done. It's done.
• 7:10
  Look. I this is a whole thing we have to learn how to live with. Don't regret what you haven't done. Just move forward. It it's there's no point in this regretting and all this analysis about why you feel badly about things.
• 7:23
  You know what? You didn't do it, so you didn't do it. Or your grandma didn't tell you or your grandpa didn't tell you. That's life. It would be nice if we all knew a little bit about our backgrounds if you don't know.
• 7:36
  But you know what? Many people didn't wanna talk about it, so we just have to accept that. And and a lot of us do talk about it, and you have videos and have pictures, and so that's very nice. But, Kim, give me some of the send out a
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And and it does serve as a reminder too if even if you hadn't, like, have those conversations now maybe with your parents and look through the photo albums and ask who people were in your family or or even just ask your parents about their lives and things you might not know. And also that, like, document your own life. It's so much easier now with technology. You just, like, pull your phone out, and everybody is in this.
• 8:12
  I don't know if it's, like, overcompensating for the past of not having had this, but, like, everyone's over documenting and posting and whatever. Whereas before, technology and access and all these things might have been a block to why people like, why there's not that much information. So, yeah, just like document more. That's what I do. Okay.
• 8:34
  So someone wrote in wishing they asked their grandparent who their childhood best friend was. So I wanna take the time to ask you, Grandma, who was your childhood best friend? Are you still friends with them?
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: I still she's still alive, but no. I'm I'm not in contact with her really. I I don't really have too many high school friends that a lot of them died passed on. But, I I know where she is and once a year we exchange birthday wishes. You know, what happens very often, and don't it's not a regret because we were good friends growing up, you get married, you have children, you have different she never married, she didn't have any children.
• 9:19
  So there was very little common commonality that we had except for when we went to school. So get a new friend, you get a friend that you've shared experiences with, that are more relevant to you at the time and to your different times of life. So I do know, you know, it's hard. It's very you really don't have that much to say about except reminisce about when you were 14, 15, 16, 17 years old, which was very short part of your life by the time you're in your eighties. So, you know, if you're able to keep up with them and you have common interests, that's great.
• 10:00
  I I have not. And, you know, that's just the way it did work, kinda.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: I'm not
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: about it, but I'm not sad about it either.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: I know what you mean. Like, with some friends that I had, like, let's say from high school, like, I'm not friends with them anymore. So if I got together with them, it would just be reminiscing.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Reminiscing about what you did in high school. I mean, that's basically your storyline because you don't know anything else. They haven't gone forward with you into where you're you are in your in your life now.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah. But that said, like, I have so many friends from preschool that I'm still really good friends with, and we've, like, evolved together. So I've been friends with them through going off to college, moving, marriage in some cases, babies in some cases.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: But they're still in the beginning, so we don't know how long those relationships will last. Sometimes your best friends are your you know, are the ones that you had when you were in preschool, and you were able to keep that because you lived in the same city and weren't kept up with them.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like I've heard people say that not until you have kids and start being friends with like your kid friends, parents, those are your friends that you kind of have for
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: larger time of your life.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: But that's so concerning. You just drop all of your friends from the first thirty years of No, your
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: you don't drop them. And if you see them again, you can always have dinner or catch up or have lunch. But the problem is you don't have the same interests anymore. Most people go make friendships out of their interests, what they're doing during your life. So if you're at a point in your life where you're starting a family, those are the friends you're going to draw on because they're all going through the same thing that you are.
• 11:43
  And usually, you'll follow them through the cycle of your children or your marriage or whatever. Because that's really the bulk of your life is from 25 on to 90. It's not from one to 25. So many times when you're young, you move away from your home area, and you're in a different part of the country, a different country. So basically it all depends on your circumstances.
• 12:09
  And everybody is different. Some people stay in the same place they grew up in, get married and have children, and die in. So everybody has got a very
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: That's exciting.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: No, it can be very, very comforting.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: I guess I kind of have done that.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And not yeah. You've been yes. I think so. I mean, if you've lived in this basically in the same city all your life, you'll end up having friends that are are doing the same Yeah.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: Do you ever have a friend that moved away that you were really close with?
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: No. They just got divorced or died.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: A lot of my friends who I started out my young married years with all got divorced. So they had I mean Yeah. So I would say would say 90% of them. So I have some that I still see. And then others, when I moved to Florida, those became the friends that I really from the time I was in my late 40s on to now, those are the people who I see all the time.
• 13:07
  I play golf with, I play tennis with, I play cards with, I went to charity functions with. So, you know, it just moves and you can't stay still in your life. I never look backwards, you know, what I should have done. I don't believe in that.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: Did you have guy friends growing up?
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: Yes. Yes, I did.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: And you were close with them and
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: I think I was closer with the guy friends than I was with the girls.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: Oh
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: my We all hung out together. You know, before I went to college, we had a group of girls and guys and we hung out in town, but we lived in a very small community. We did not live in a big city and our focal point was maybe meeting in the parking lot of our high school and then going to a movie on a Saturday in town and having a pizza. So, I mean, that was the highlight and we enjoyed it. Or we'd meet in somebody's basement and play music and dance and, we had really a lot of fun and I don't see any of those people anymore.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: I don't trust girls who have more guy friends than girlfriends.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Okay. I think that's a women's I think that's a a very biased way that young women are today. We didn't feel that. We weren't only about girl power in days gone by. If you had a friend, it didn't matter if you were a girl or a guy.
• 14:27
  If you had common interests together and you shared something together, not boyfriend and girlfriend, we're just talking about friends.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: It wasn't flirtatious.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: It didn't matter. It was No, it wasn't so flirtatious. We we just had a lot of fun. We either worked on a committee in high school together or we maybe belonged to the same club or we all liked to go to the football games as the group. I mean, you know, it was a click and we had fun and there were other clicks that we weren't in.
• 14:51
  So, you know, it was all based on common interests. And that's the same thing that happens even when you're older. You tend to be friendly with people who have common interests.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I just couldn't imagine having more guy friends than girlfriends.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: But do it's very different.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like now would be all curious.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: High school. I don't know about how you felt in high school. Maybe you you know, we didn't date as seriously as the people today.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: I would still feel in high school if I had a lot of guy friends, it would be that one person were was into the other person. Like, I feel like it's never an
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: easy friendship.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't really know if you Right. You don't know. Maybe they were all into you. You have no idea.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: I have no idea because we didn't do anything anyway, so I have no idea what they were into us or not.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: But I mean, Zach, like, even though we're dating, he's my friend as well in a way, like and I'm always like, am I, like, best friends with a man? Like, how could I be friends with a man? That is my best friend? That can't be.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know your psychology. You'll have to talk to somebody professional on that. I don't know. Think What do mean?
• 16:02
  I think I think, you know, if a relationship is basically formed on a friendship. So you're first a friend and then
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: Well, pop friends with a man.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: Well, unless you wanna be with a woman. No.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that like
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: Well, that's nice. I think that's nice that you share the friendship.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: I guess so.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: Because eventually eventually as you get older, the romance reverts to a friendship. So you're it's nice to have both.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: Right. I just feel like when it comes to friendship, men are so different. Like, when they're young, I feel like guys, they're all about the boys. They're like, tonight, hanging out with the boys. I'm going to watch a game with the boys.
• 16:45
  Sometimes often, I'm seeing guys, like, spend more time with their guy friends than their own girlfriends or wives. And then as they're older, I feel like they suddenly don't have friends. Like, I don't know any older
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: men with friends. Well, because what happens is in the I can't stereotype this anymore because it really true. I was gonna say that most men go to the office and they're working and they really don't have a social life. But now today, that's not really true. I I think the guys have the same social life as the women because I don't think the women have a social life.
• 17:17
  If you're working nine to I think you could
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: work and have a social life as I do and all my friends.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: Like we go out for dinner during the week, we go out on the weekends, we
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: No, we never did that. You see, well that's a different thing. We didn't go out really socializing with women once we had a boyfriend. We we basically hung out with them, but it's a different mindset now, and that's alright. Yeah.
• 17:40
  As long as both parties like that, then there's nothing wrong with it.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Right. But I don't know why, like, at least maybe it's a generational thing because I feel like I look at
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: It is a generation.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: My dad where I'm like, he's friends, I guess, with mom's friends' husbands. But I'm like The
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: way it is. You were friends with who you made it as couples. We didn't have didn't have friendships out the aside the marriage, basically.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: That's so wild. Okay. A bunch of listeners wish they had asked their grandparents their favorite place to go as a kid. So you kinda talked about the diner and the movies and things like that. Did you have, like, your favorite neighbor?
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: Play Land, which is still actually in existence. I don't think it's open that much anymore, but the amusement park in Rye was great fun. We loved to go there. And we'd actually go and sit on the beach there as well. I don't know if that is even open to the public anymore.
• 18:38
  You know, they were they were things in my local neighborhood where I grew up. So that was the most fun going to that. And we really didn't have an a a place other than that to go to. Occasionally, my parents, you know, would take us. We went to California.
• 18:54
  We went to Disney when it first, you know, when it first opened. So we did family trips as, you know, that were fun locations, but we never went back twice. I mean, know, we went once, we saw it, and then we moved on. So really, basically, favorite things were in our local area.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: It's funny that you mentioned two theme parks because you're so not a theme park person.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: It wasn't really. It was more of an amusement park where we go on rides, and we would have treats on the weekend. And it was also a public beach. So we would go there in the summer and hang out, we put towels on the sand and you know, didn't put umbrellas in those days, that's why we're all a mess now. But basically it was a place where we hung out Very much like not Long Beach, I'm trying to think of Jones Beach was where we had our senior our senior outing.
• 19:46
  All the kids piled in cars and we all went out to Jones Beach because that was a big deal for us. You know, people were not as what do I say? Not mobile. It's not a matter of mobile because we were always in our cars. We just didn't do those kinds of things outside our community.
• 20:02
  We kept everything within the community. And that was nice, but we're talking about the fifties. We're not talking about the twenty twenty, twenty six. But now everybody hops on a plane and goes someplace for spring break. I mean, didn't do those things.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: You didn't go away?
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Not much. We went as a family, occasionally, to Florida. My dad liked to go. We went to the Everglades. We saw the alligators.
• 20:29
  We went to Miami, actually. My father liked Miami. I went to many of the hotels that were on the on the beach where summer's still there. The Fond Du is still there. The rock is there.
• 20:40
  We went there. We'd go for a spring vacation for a week or so. But, you know, it wasn't anything that had to be every single year. It wasn't a ritual. It was a special treat that my parents would would do for the children.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like Disney World became a ritual for us for sure.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: My parents didn't like it. So we we didn't we did it once in LA in California and that was it.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: Well my parents definitely took us like at least 10 times.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: But your dad still likes it.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we still go but you probably went with us once or twice too.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: Yes I did and I went with my own children And it was fine. I mean, you know, I don't have the fascination of the rides. And now I don't see any of those movies. I you know, Harry Potter and the thing with the dragons and
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: That's all Universal Studios.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: I'm not really interested in it. So I don't really care. I didn't see the movies and, you know, I it's really something that the children have today, what's they're used to and what they love, that's why they go to those theme parks. But it wouldn't appeal to to me and I certainly wouldn't do it at my age because it's a very strenuous thing to go to those parks and
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: Walking around and and, you know, it's even though I'm sure they have things for older people to go in, that would not be that would be the least favorite place I would go on vacation.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Disney is pretty good with accessibility and, like, making sure everyone can go and that there's something for everyone. Like, you don't have to go on a roller coaster. Last time I went, I didn't go on crazy rides. I just it's still fun to walk around and, like, get the whole experience and be immersed.
• 22:14
  And I will say with Disney, not as much with Universal, but there's, like, still those, like, heritage brand. I don't even know that's what you would call it, but, like, there's still a Pinocchio ride and, like, they're all the original stories.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: Right. The small world. Well, have to say that for my birthday, couple of years ago, took your uncle and his children on a Disney cruise to Alaska. Of course it was an experience because we had fogs, we never saw anything in Alaska. One granddaughter and I managed to see the salmon and the bear.
• 22:48
  But other than we couldn't go on the helicopter ride, saw the glacier.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: That's good.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: But it was fun. You know? Yeah. They do a great job. Disney does a great job.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah. What was your favorite, like, toy or game growing up? Were you a dolls girl? Like, you
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: play I had dolls. I think my grandfather used to buy me these beautiful dolls, I and think I used to cut their hair off right away.
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: Oh, you were one of those.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I guess I I guess I because I had I still have a fixation with hair. I guess Yeah. I don't know. I think I I couldn't stand that their hair looked like that, so I would cut it off immediately.
• 23:23
  My husband used to say, are you kidding? You cut the doll's hair off? And I used to ruin their poor locks that were long and beautiful and flowing and cut the ball off.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: Interesting. I don't think I ever cut my Barbie's hair.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: No. You used to love those little Barbie's. Those those the in those
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: Polly Pockets.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You liked all those dolls. You used to sit and talk to them. I never had the patience.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: I know. I created, like, stories and worlds and, like well, I was so upset because I think when I was still like 12, 13, I was still playing with Barbies and I came home one day from school or wherever and mom just threw all of them out without saying to me.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: It's time to purge the draw.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: What were like the trendy toys back then? Do you remember, like, what every kid wanted for the holidays?
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: Frankies. I don't you know, I don't really remember. It's so long ago. I have no idea. But it was nothing I think trucks were very big.
• 24:17
  My brother loved trucks. They like guns. They like to go around the house shooting war, all kinds of guns. They had big, like, Rambo guns. I don't know what they were.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: Ours was a little less violent. I feel like I would trade things in school, like those silly band bracelets or, like, kooky pens. You didn't have
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: so much. Might have, but I but I don't remember doing it.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And did you play, like, in your backyard? It was the suburbs.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Well, we did. We had a beautiful backyard, so we loved it. And my thought, we used to love to that's why I think I love gardens. My dad would come home off the train and come back to our house in the evening. And after dinner when it was light out, and we'd all go out and we'd pick weeds out of the backyard into a big garbage bag and make sure his lawn was perfect.
• 25:03
  We had a beautiful backyard. We he'd talk about all the trees were in the back and explain to us, and we had a a victory garden with tomatoes and different vegetables that he would he would always, you know, attend to. So we loved and we loved the backyard, and I still love a backyard. I I think it's one of the great relaxations that people can have. Even if it's in New York, you can go into a park, and there are people that even have gardens in some of the streets in Upper Manhattan.
• 25:30
  And it's it's wonderful. It's a wonderful way to unwind and really get back to nature.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, I grew up in New York City, so I was around that way last, like, recess for us. People are so shocked to hear this, but was just, in the street. Like, they would block the street off in front of our school
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: for, like, an hour. When you were growing up were a little dangerous. Now, you know, unfortunately, even when your parents did it, we used to go to Central Park, and they used to go to the park. But now for safety reasons, all the schools are very nervous probably. And they would rather either go in their back, you know, area where the schools have still have some courts and, you can have games and, or they have some, places on Randall's Island that where school buses take the children.
• 26:19
  It you know, there's so many different difficulties in in a big city to get children to a playground when you're talking about 30 or 40 people at a time for safety reasons more than anything else. We have the facilities in the park. We have the most beautiful park area. And we have several other parks in the throughout the city that are beautiful. But it's hard to bring a group of children there all at one time safely.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Do you remember having any crushes on boys in elementary school?
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: I had a lot of crushes, but I had a lot of boyfriends. I never it's interesting when somebody said, I really had boyfriends and I never had a problem having a boyfriend. I had a boyfriend, I think all through my high school, had different ones and in college I had several and I had a very nice Very
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: happy for you.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I was lucky.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: I feel like I had crushes in middle school. They weren't my boyfriend. Like I just had crushes on people. I think I was too young probably to to have a boyfriend slash they were often unrequited. Like, I remember always being like, the senior in high school is like the cutest guy ever, and he had no idea who I was.
• 27:36
  But you don't ever think of your childhood crushes now.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: No. Because they all became boyfriends. I never had a problem. That's funny. I you know what?
• 27:43
  I never thought I thought I was the most perfect person. So I mean, you know, that there was a difference in psyche. I mean, I actually went through my high school years as very fortunate because I really liked everybody, seemingly people like me and you know, it was never I never really had a disappointment. College? Yes.
• 28:05
  But I did have boyfriends in college, my freshman and sophomore year who I was crazy about. And then my junior and senior year when I came back to the city, I had a couple of very serious boyfriends that didn't end up being my husband but they were serious. I thought they were gonna be my husband, but they weren't. And then chose your grandfather.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, I think it's still
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: being positive. There were lots of different reasons for me for us because we didn't really live with with our boyfriends or we didn't know, we weren't sexually aware of that much. So you only went so far and then that was it. And when you were ready to have experiences, it had to be a serious experience. Nobody would just have you know, there was no such thing as, you know, we'll have a one nighter.
• 28:57
  I mean, you know, that that just didn't that wasn't for most people.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah. To go back to what you said, like, as a childhood crush, like, you could still be confident in yourself and not have someone like you back. And even now in life, like, you can be a confident person and not have someone be
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: I think back, I sort of figured that wasn't for me See, I never I never worried about it that much.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: I Yeah.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: That's part of my personality. If it wasn't reciprocated, why waste your time?
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: Dawn. Right.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: I I
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: think that's the difference because there is probably that my crush is, like, if if they knew, there's some chances, like, they probably didn't even know if I never spoke to them.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: Didn't know.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: Well or maybe or more likely, like, if they knew, then they would've I whether or not they would've made it clear that they wouldn't have liked me, and then I would have to go in my head, okay. Now I have to move on. Like, there was a lot of steps that just weren't happening, I think, because of emotional immaturity. But what did you wear to school?
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Oh, we I wore well, we wore skirts and and sweaters. We didn't wear pants until I went to college and we wore pants. When I went away to to Syracuse, I was always in pants. I think because it was so cold up there.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah. You had to. But that wasn't a dress code. That was out of what you wanted.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: We really I don't remember wearing pants that much in high school. I think I wore I wore sweaters and lot of cardigans, lot of round collared shirts and skirts.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: And that was your choice? Like, wasn't a uniform?
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: Oh, no. We were in I was in public school, so there were no there was no regimen. Yeah. But there were jeans. We didn't basically wear jeans to school.
• 30:34
  Yeah. Jeans, but we never wore them to school.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: Crazy. I didn't have a uniform even though I went to private school, as you know. But I'm trying to think of what my outfit formula was. I feel like I would always lay out my clothes the night before because otherwise, I'd be hours like
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: So I never get out door.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: Panicking. And mom usually kinda helped me. So I slash I would do the same thing that I do now, which is take everything out of my closet, try it on, say I hate all of it, and figure something out that doesn't look terrible. I think it was my my uniform was probably jeans. Yeah.
• 31:08
  And what did I wear on top?
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Oh, I have no idea, Kim. But whatever it was I don't think whatever it was is worth talking about. Nobody really wants those outfits.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: Oh, well, just because it was, like, 2010, and it probably Yeah.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: You know what? It's not you're not bringing those back in the vintage shops.
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Not really. It was a lot of layering. Principal arts. What it was.
• 31:31
  It was, like, emulating Disney Channel stars who would wear like three like no two layered tank tops of different colors and then like a bell over and then leggings cropped leggings. That's what it was. Alright. Not yeah. You're like, never wear that again.
• 31:51
  Entertainment wise, people were like, I wish they, like, knew about the TV shows that people in their family watched or, like, did they go to Broadway shows and kind of how they stayed entertained?
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: Well, we first of all, television was only channel two, four, and seven, and 11. We didn't have 95,000 different things. And we would all sit together and watch, let's say, the Milton Berle show, different comedies, Sid Caesar, Jackie Gleeson. Those were all programs that we would watch as a family and we would laugh. And most of them were comedies.
• 32:26
  We didn't I don't remember, I think, Man From Uncle or something, but that wasn't even that was much that was later. I mean, there were things that came about, but in the fifties, it was mostly comedy. And, we would listen to music as a family, and, we loved to listen to Frank Sinatra. That was my father's favorite. And we would all sing and I don't know, we just, we amused ourselves.
• 32:47
  It was very then the thing
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: So wholesome.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: To go to a movie. You know, we all had local movie theaters, which now of course is few and far between. But once a week, we'd all go to a movie. And sometimes on a Saturday, I remember going with a boyfriend that I had in high school, and we'd go in the afternoon and then go, we'd have a double feature.
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: In the afternoon, I think we must have eaten candy and stayed for the 06:00 show. Yeah. So, you know, that was what we loved and have a bag of popcorn and I think for a quarter or whatever. And that was a great night.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: Did you have any after school activities?
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: Well, yes, of course. We had, we had all kinds of clubs. We had drama clubs. We had music.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: No. That you were in?
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: I think I was in the French club, which I don't know why because I can't speak the word of French now. And I don't know what other clubs I was in, Kim. I think I think I worked on the newspaper actually.
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: You know, a high school little paper that was nothing with nothing, but, you know, we'd write a little article. But I don't know what else I was denied. Have to look at my high school I have to look at my high school yearbook. It's so far away.
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I think I don't even remember what clubs I was in, but I definitely were in a bunch also to get into college. No. I wasn't. You were?
• 34:07
  I definitely was on some sort of magazine as well. And then oh, I remember I was on this thing. What was this club called? There was a club that was really, really hard to get into that it was all, like, upperclassmen boys, and it was pitch. It was called pitch club.
• 34:24
  And you would have to come up basically, it's like an incubator of business ideas. And I remember I got in and my friend Allegra got in, and we were like the only, like, underclassmen girls to have gotten in this club because I don't remember even what we pitched, but we're both creative people. And and I remember it's, like, the coolest thing ever to been in pitch club. But I don't really remember. I mean, when I was younger, I had to go to my piano lessons, ballet.
• 34:53
  Right. All of
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: that. I didn't do that. My mother wasn't very regimented. She didn't have us doing anything. So it was what you were to do.
• 35:01
  I don't know. I think I hung out in the parking lot in my high school.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah. That's so I don't know. Maybe it was like what your mom signed you up for because mom signed me up for every single possible
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: But you also lived in the city. When you live in the country, your mother would say go back out and go outside and play.
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: Right. Okay. Yeah.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: You can't go out and play on the street. And I think that's still relevant today. Young families want, because if their children wanna move out of big cities, they have a backyard and the children can go out and play with their dog or with their just toys in the back or a swing set. I mean, you live that's the one drawback of living in a in a large city. You can't do that.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: Would your parents have described you as well behaved as a child?
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I think we I was. My brother I had two brothers. One was and one wasn't. But I was, I was a daddy's girl.
• 35:50
  Whatever my father said I did, I loved my dad and I enjoyed being with him, I thought he was just terrific to be with.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: Grandma, was I well behaved?
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: Yes. Oh. Yes. Very much so.
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Because mom was so strict.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: I don't know if she was strict. I I they they tried
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: to How could I not have been be like, I mean, I wasn't a rebel. I wasn't, like, not coming home or doing crazy things.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: You know what? When you live in a in that's the other when you live in a city, you have to have rules because you can't have children wandering around the city without telling their parents where they are coming in at a certain time on a school night, on a weekend. I mean, you know, there are another problem. Not being good for the city since I raised both my children there, but when you think about it, you had to be careful and be aware that
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: The upsides are so plentiful about living in the city like the access to culture from a young age.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah but that's later on when you're 10, 11, 12 years old, you have to be careful where you're walking or what bus you're going on. You have to have some kind. You have to have some now you have phones with tracking and all that, so parents can tell that. But when my children were growing up, you had to just pray they got home on the bus correctly. And they usually paired with a friend.
• 37:14
  We always used to say, take a buddy. And I think that's a good idea for children.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: And you went to Hebrew school, right?
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: I went to Hebrew school. My grandmother would take me to Hebrew school.
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: You know, she would drive me to Hebrew school. That was and I only went I think I went till I was 15.
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: That's a lot that's long. I stopped after my bat mitzvah.
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, we didn't have bat mitzvahs in those days. Oh, right. But I belonged to a con a more religious congregation, so the girls had confirmation.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And I'm sure it wasn't the blowout it is today.
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: No. We didn't do that. You're lucky if we had a lunch in a Chinese restaurant.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: Right. Or, like, a key.
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: My favorite restaurant in the whole world was Tung Hoi and Mamaroneck Avenue. And and we used to go that was a special night. That was a Sunday night dinner. And every night there was a special night. We'll go to Chun the Malay and have lots of candies.
• 38:10
  Don't know. Was, it was delicious. It was probably be awful in reality, but I loved it.
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: the egg rolls, which nobody makes really good crispy egg rolls. They're all very heavy now. I don't even think they have them on most venues.
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel like I never opt for ordering that. That's not
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: Love an egg roll. And I used to love the duck sauce.
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: Those are That was good.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: I have I I haven't had an egg roll in twenty five years, so I have they're probably not you know, nobody wants that. It's not chic enough.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: No. I'm sure some places have it. I'll look into it for you. Yeah.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: If I can. Yeah.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: Okay. To end up the episode, Grandma, are there questions you wished you would ask your grandparents about or your parents?
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: No. Yep. No. Not really because we discussed this last week. There are certain things I would have liked to have known where my grandparents' villages that they lived in before they came here.
• 39:04
  But basically, I was very close with my grandparents. And so I knew about their story and what they did as youngsters. And they went to college. My father's parents went to college. My mother's parents did not.
• 39:16
  So I sort of knew their stories, which was wonderful. So my great grandparents, who were alive when I was young, I saw them rarely. And they lived in a very religious settings. And I wish I knew more about them, yes. But I can't think about that because first of all, they didn't really speak English, they spoke Yiddish.
• 39:39
  And so it would have been my father could communicate with them, but my mother couldn't.
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: And you carried down some of those sayings. I don't know who
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: was Well, talking about was just saying that it's become part of American culture. I don't know any Yiddish. I actually went to see Fiddler on the Roof many about five
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: or six with years me, I mean.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: Downtown. No. Downtown. In Yiddish. In Yiddish.
• 40:04
  And that
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: was I went too. We went together.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: No. I went with
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: some I think you went twice.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: But I might have gone twice because I loved it so much. And I it it just shows you that anything that's really wonderful, especially a musical, could be in any language because it's the music that really matters.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: But they had the subtitles on the
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: Yes, did. They did. But by the time you were really into it, didn't even bother looking at the subtitles.
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: Because it's like opera.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: Which is not an outdated art form, though Timothee Chalamet said it is.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: It's so beautiful. But you know what? I think everybody should enjoy their families and try to take pictures like you say. Take pictures of family birthday parties, at gatherings, at weddings, at anniversaries, and and sort of savor those memories because those are the things that you will remember many years down the road.
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: And I can really understand why people would want to know these things because it does feel like connected to your identity and things that you can pass down with you. So it totally makes sense. Great. Great chat. I will see you in person very soon because we have Passover next week.
• 41:10
  So you'll be in New York for that.
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: I will.
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: And you'll let me know what I can
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: back in the city for a few days. So I'm really excited and just hope the weather won't be another snowstorm because every time I went up to the city in the last two months, I've got a snowstorm. So hopefully by April, we won't have it. But there are snowstorms that I remember in April. So knowing my luck, there'll be another big one.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: Fingers crossed. Okay. Bye, everybody. Remember to follow us on social media. Excuse My Grandma on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube.
• 41:44
  My personal Instagram is Kim Merstein. Also, to watch podcast clips, you can either follow Excuse My Grandma, or we do have a separate TikTok for just podcast clips, which is Excuse My Grandma pod. And we will see all of you soon.
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: Bye.