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EP.109: The 101 Of Creating Habits: James Clear Insights | The Ambitious Podcast · Ambitious Podcast

0:00
Winners and losers have the same goals, So what really
0:04
differentiates those that are successful and those that are
0:06
not? You don't rise to the level of
0:08
your goals, you fall to the levels of your systems.
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Most of us attribute these big successes and these big wins to
0:16
these big monumental changes and often times that's not the case.
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Just because you have a goal of seven figures doesn't mean
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you're the person who you need to be to have a 7 figure
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business. Becoming the identity of the
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person you want is not about affirmations.
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It's about giving yourself evidence via action.
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You cannot change a habit that you do not notice.
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When you miss something once, it can be an accident.
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If you miss it twice, it's actually the start of a new
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habit. Hello and welcome back to
0:45
Ambitious Today. We are actually doing something
0:47
that I've never done in the history of the podcast, which is
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I'm going to be talking to you about another podcast that I
0:55
actually listened to twice because I found it to be such a
0:59
compelling conversation. And I'm going to link for
1:02
today's purpose the entire podcast.
1:04
If you want to go listen to it in the show notes for you
1:07
because I want to use today's episode to summarize what was
1:11
discussed and most importantly, what my biggest takeaways were.
1:14
Especially for you if you are somebody as a business owner who
1:18
is looking to really master how to create not just short term,
1:23
but long term change in a simple, effective, and
1:26
sustainable way. And this was a podcast that was
1:29
entirely dedicated to talking about understanding of behavior
1:33
change, understanding of habits, understanding of why we do what
1:38
we do and get into the patterns that we do.
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And I want to 1st give credit where credit is due.
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If you are somebody who has ever read the book Atomic Habits,
1:48
what I'm going to share today are some of the insights that I
1:50
have learned from James Clear, who had that book Atomic Habits
1:54
come out in 2018. So think of today as your short
1:58
summarized master class. If you are somebody that wants
2:02
to create change in any area of your life, this can be in your
2:05
health, it could be in your relationship, it could be in
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your business, maybe it's even just yourself.
2:10
Maybe you're thinking, OK, I just want to start to get up
2:12
earlier in the morning, or I want to get to bed earlier at
2:14
night, whatever the thing may be.
2:16
Today we're going to talk about what actually could be blocking
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you from creating that habit change and from creating that
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behavioral change and what actually you need to do today,
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tonight, tomorrow to actually start to see change in the areas
2:30
that you're looking for it. So without further ado, let's
2:32
get into today's episode. So one of the things that I will
2:44
say is that, and this is something that I've talked to
2:47
clients about over and over and over, is the fact that most of
2:51
the changes that you're wanting to see within your life and also
2:54
within your business are not often things that are a matter
2:58
of revamping your entire life, your entire business, starting
3:03
over from scratch and implementing this whole new
3:05
plan. One of the things that I talk
3:08
about is The Compound Effect. And the Compound Effect, by the
3:11
way, also is a fantastic book. So if you have not read The
3:13
Compound Effect, also a great read, but the compound effect
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basically speaks to the fact that if we think about, OK,
3:20
think about yourself standing on a baseline.
3:23
If I am to think about getting 1% better.
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So an analogy that they use for this and to explain the exact
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same principle is like an airplane.
3:32
If I tilt the airplane's direction by 1% off of where it
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was supposed to be as straight. So if I'm trying to have this
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airplane fly straight and I tilt it to the left 1%, it could take
3:45
me in an entirely different direction within two hours.
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On the contrast, if I'm not playing and I'm straight and I
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tilt to the right, it can take me in the total right direction
3:56
after two hours. This is the same thing as you
3:59
with your habits in your business.
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Most of us attribute these big monumental changes in our
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business and these big successes and these big wins to be
4:08
attributed to these big monumental changes.
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And often times that's not the case.
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There's these tiny little tweaks and refinements that when we
4:15
make that little 1% change for you, it might be the 1% change
4:20
in your close rate, the 1% change in your marketing, the 1%
4:24
change in your habits each morning, the 1% change in your
4:28
mindset, in your leadership. When you make those 1% changes
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over time, you compound. And day after day after day with
4:37
those reps, you could be in an entirely different place in the
4:41
next 6 months, in the next year. And the 1% is really what Atomic
4:47
Havocs talks about. It talks about the small, but
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the powerful moves that we can make that over time allow us to
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see our life and our goals go in a very different direction.
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And so I was, I was just like so refreshed hearing this podcast
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because obviously I read the book years ago, but when I heard
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the podcast, that kind of brought it all back up for me
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and it made me reflect on what this looks like in business.
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And I want to invite you right now to ask yourself what is
5:17
something maybe in your business, in your life, in a
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certain area of growth or a goal that you have?
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What is something that you really deeply desire changing?
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And as we go through today's episode, I want you to anchor on
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to that. OK.
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So just take a second right now and think to yourself, what is a
5:35
goal that I have? So for me, one of my goals that
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I will use for today is actually health related.
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It's less of a business 1. I feel like I've mastered a lot
5:44
of the habits of business. One of the things that I really
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struggled with and have always struggled with is consistency
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with my health. What I mean by that is eating
5:53
the right kinds of protein basically everyday and having a
5:56
protein target. I was, I'm a carb girly.
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So because of that, I tend to lean toward the rice and the
6:03
bread and all of that. Two, I'm really focused on
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hitting a step goal every single day.
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And three, also getting in X amount of workouts each week.
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So those are kind of like my 3 core needle movers when it comes
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to my health. And even though those are very
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straightforward and simple, they are something that I will tell
6:22
you I have drastically struggled with for a very long time.
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And so it's interesting because this is the first time since I
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was really, really fit, probably, to be honest, like 7-8
6:32
years ago when I was super into fitness and did fitness
6:35
coaching. When I left that I feel like I
6:38
kind of left the habits as well. And so I have struggled since
6:41
that point to really find out what the new baseline looks like
6:44
for me. So when I listened to this
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episode, it kind of brought up for me the fact of why I'm now
6:49
starting to feel a lot of momentum when it comes to my
6:53
workouts, when it comes to my health.
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And that's because I really started to see, wow, I am doing
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some of these principles and I wanted to share some of that
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with you and also give you this insight when it comes to your
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business. So basically the book Atomic
7:08
Havoc talks about the fact and it argues that success is not
7:11
about radical change or motivation or setting massive
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goals. It's actually about building
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better systems that make good behaviors easier and bad
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behaviors difficult. I want to just repeat that
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really quick so you can let this land.
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Success isn't about radical change, motivation, or setting
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huge goals. It's about building better
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systems that make good behaviors easier and bad behaviors
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difficult. And when I even just heard that
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line, it really got me reflecting on business because I
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obviously work with business owners of all different sizes
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every single day. And with that, I often realized
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that, you know, person A and person B can both set their
7:56
target for 500,000 next year. They can both set their target
8:00
for a million or 2 million. But then most of us wonder,
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well, what is the difference factor?
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What is the thing that allows person A to be successful but
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person B to stay stuck? And goals, I wouldn't say are
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the difference of us being successful at the things that we
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want to achieve in life. Everyone and their mom can set a
8:20
goal. So what really differentiates
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those that are successful and those that are not?
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And so some people, yes, are naturally, I would say
8:29
motivated. There are some people that have
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more natural motivation, IE, you know, often we have these
8:35
conversations, right, of I'm a morning person or I'm not a
8:37
morning person. For clarification, I am not a
8:40
morning person. So if you wake me up at 4:00 AM,
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I'm not going to be a happy girl.
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But the thing that I think is important to remember with that
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is that yes, there's motivation and there's a piece to that,
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right? Some of us are maybe wired a
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little bit differently for one thing versus another.
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But the reality is even the best athletes, even the most high
8:59
performing CE OS, even the the best podcasters have days where
9:04
they don't want to record a podcast.
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They have days that they don't want to get up and get out of
9:08
bed and go to work. They have days they don't want
9:10
to go to the gym. And so saying that motivation is
9:14
the difference factor wouldn't be fair because I will tell you,
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out of all the people that are successful in any field, there's
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always days that we don't feel motivated.
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Ultimately, motivation is rooted in emotion.
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And so our emotions, no matter who you are, have the ability to
9:29
ride that roller coaster. So the book discusses that the
9:33
success of anybody with any goal has nothing to do with
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motivation. It doesn't have to do about how
9:38
specific the goal was necessarily or what it is that
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we wanted to do or that we didn't have a big enough goal.
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It actually is about the fact that we don't have the systems
9:48
to be successful. And so I want to share some of
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the takeaways that I got from listening to this and some ways
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that I kind of, you know, reflected on this for myself.
9:59
So first being that 1% improvement, the thing that I
10:03
know especially for any of us who are very ambitious or, you
10:08
know, we're very driven, or maybe, you know, for some of us
10:11
also who are just a little bit ADHD, we want like overnight, we
10:16
want this overnight success. We want this overnight momentum.
10:20
I literally just got off of a call with an incredible client
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and we were talking about her 2026 goals and she was like,
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Kate, I love this. But honestly, I want to go do
10:27
this right now. Like it's like this instant.
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I want it. I want to press go.
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And I'm just like her. My brain is very similar in
10:33
wiring, so I have to recognize that the things that I want are
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not actually going to be this big radical thing.
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They're often going to come from the small, little, tiny things
10:45
that I'm doing every single day and doing those just a bit
10:48
better, just a little bit more intentional or just a little bit
10:51
more focused. So I'll give you an example.
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I, for example, with my protein, I was telling you I was like,
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OK, you know, what's my fiber goal?
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What's my carb goal? I used to track macros.
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So I would track when I was in fitness, like, you know, carbs,
11:05
fats, proteins and calories and fiber and I would have like
11:09
eating windows. It was this whole complicated
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thing. And I remember George saying to
11:13
me, he's a Kate, just hit your protein goal.
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Just start there. And I remember be like, no, I'm
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not going to half ass this goal. And I remember when we first
11:25
started talking, I was like, no, I'm going to like go all in.
11:28
And really, ultimately what I was saying is I need a whole new
11:30
radical plan. And I remember him saying, you
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know, just focus on the protein. Or if you don't want to focus on
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the food, just go get your steps.
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Just go for a walk and don't even focus on how many steps,
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Just go for a walk. And I remember initially being
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so frustrated because I thought like, I don't want to
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shortchange my goals. I don't want to shortchange my
11:48
achievement. I don't want to play small.
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But it wasn't really about playing small.
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It was about the fact that he was trying to insinuate it's the
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tiny little pieces of being 1% better that ultimately are
12:02
overtime going to create change. And so think about it this way.
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If you are somebody who is sitting at your desk all day
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every day and you never move, you maybe have a step count each
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day of like 1000 steps. If you just added 500 steps,
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we're not talking 10K, we're talking 500.
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Over time, you're taking the 500 extra steps that you're doing
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every single day and you're timesing that by 365 days this
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year. So when we think about the
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compound effect of literally what that would, what that would
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create for you, that would give you an extra 182,000 extra steps
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just by doing that this year. So when we think about these
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small little changes, sometimes they we kind of discredit them
12:51
because we start to think, OK, well what is that going to do?
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What is just putting up, you know, one extra post each week
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compared to what I've been doing?
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What kind of change is that going to make?
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Or, you know, what is going to bed one hour earlier really
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going to do for my change of my life this year?
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And I think the downside sometimes when we are driven and
13:12
we're ambitious is that we're just so go, go, go.
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And we have these big dreams and these big visions and we believe
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that it must be complicated to get there.
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And so it got me really thinking about the 1% also in connection
13:25
to simplicity scales, because this is where in scaling
13:29
businesses, we talk about tweaks and refinement.
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That many people when they want to scale their business, want to
13:35
throw out the whole blueprint. They throw out their marketing,
13:37
they want a whole new offer suite, they want a whole new
13:40
sales process. And then they get in and I'm
13:44
like, OK, we're going to tweak this, tweak that.
13:45
And it's this belief of like, is that really going to make a
13:48
change? And I literally had a client
13:51
today who we didn't, we didn't overhaul her, her business.
13:55
And she shared with me today that she had year 1 she made
13:59
94,000, year 2 she made 186,000 I think it was.
14:04
And year 3 she which is 2026, she already has like $240,000
14:10
secured in contracts. And this was not like her going
14:14
from 100,000 to already having like 250,000 secured before she
14:18
even starts the year. That's not something that came
14:22
from me being like, let's throw at your business and start over.
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I'm so insanely proud of her because it was really about her
14:28
just tweaking the marketing, tweaking the team, tweaking the
14:31
product suite, tweaking the pricing, tweaking the
14:34
onboarding. And in doing so, that's where
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the actual change started to compound over time.
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So there was this quote that was said in the episode that said
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you don't rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the
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levels of your systems. Goals determine your direction.
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Systems determine your progress. So hearing that, you might
15:00
think, well, uh oh, because you're like, I got big goals, I
15:04
got bad systems, right? And that's the, the light bulb I
15:08
had as I started thinking about the areas of my life that I want
15:11
to create change. And I asked myself, do I have a
15:13
system? Do I actually have a system for
15:15
that goal? And for some things I've
15:17
achieved, I reverse engineered. The reason I achieved it is
15:19
because I had a system. And the reason I made momentum
15:22
is because I had that established.
15:24
But there's also things that I didn't have a system for.
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And so it got me thinking about what are those areas that I can
15:30
start to really focus on creating a system.
15:33
And that was take away to which is that winners and losers have
15:37
the same goals. The people who win in business,
15:40
the people who win with their goals in health, their marriage,
15:43
anything that you're working on right now, winners and losers
15:47
have the same goals. Goals are temporary and they
15:50
focus on outcomes, not on the process.
15:53
And I'm going to be very transparent.
15:56
When I started to learn that it was about the process, not the
16:01
outcome, I became increasingly frustrated because I am very
16:04
motivated by an outcome. Like I was talking to a
16:08
different client today and we were saying, you know, she has
16:11
this goal of going to $1,000,000 cash a year, which I'm very
16:14
excited by and I'm happy and honored just to be able to
16:16
support her. But it was interesting because
16:19
we were saying, you know, the process this and process of
16:21
that, and I'm like, that piece is to her just as it was to me.
16:25
The process wasn't something I cared about.
16:27
I was like, I want $1,000,000 business.
16:30
I want $1,000,000 a year. And I was so focused on get
16:35
there, get there, get there. And I didn't, in the pursuit of
16:38
getting there, focus frankly enough on the process.
16:43
And so at #1 it made it 10 times harder.
16:46
And #2 it also meant that when I got to $1,000,000, I realized
16:52
that the process, how I got there wasn't sustainable to
16:55
continue to help me to scale. So I literally kind of almost
16:58
had to reinvent the business. And I want to give you an
17:01
example. The system that I had at the
17:05
time to create $1,000,000 business was rooted around,
17:09
which I don't recommend, even though it did get me the goal, I
17:12
don't recommend it is that it was rooted around, you know,
17:16
very little sleep to be honest, pushing on all cylinders at all
17:20
times. It was rooted around, you know,
17:22
really early mornings, very late nights working.
17:25
It was rooted around really, frankly, almost no social life.
17:28
To be honest, I didn't spend a ton of time with my family at
17:31
that time. I was not focused in any
17:33
capacity on my health. So there was just so many other
17:37
things that had to die in order for this thing to be born.
17:42
And so it doesn't necessarily mean that those are actually the
17:47
systems that are required to create that result.
17:50
And I realized now, even in, you know, coaching clients, that
17:55
that process was a process. I chose to get there.
18:00
And that's because I was so focused on the outcome.
18:03
He was all outcome. I didn't care about the process.
18:05
I'm like, I don't care what it looks like.
18:06
Get me to that goal, get me to the destination.
18:10
And I think, you know, if I could go back and tell myself
18:13
anything, it would be that. If you focus more on the
18:15
process, number one, you'll probably hit the goal faster #2
18:19
you'll hit the goal easier. And 3rd, when you get there, you
18:24
have something that you can rely on.
18:27
I also think about this in the analogy of like health, for
18:29
example, when people are wanting to lose weight or to get fit,
18:33
you know, you can think about doing like a fast or you can
18:35
think about doing a cleanse and sure, you know, can you drink
18:40
juice for three days and lose a little bit of weight?
18:42
Sure. But you and I both know that to
18:45
create sustainable change, we got to move our body and we got
18:48
to nourish our body. And so those are things that
18:50
happen every single day that just simply cannot be ignored.
18:54
They cannot be pushed away. And so systems are the daily
18:58
actions that we need to focus on that actually are the thing that
19:03
creates the outcome. They are the thing that creates
19:05
the long term change. And so if you've ever hit a goal
19:09
like me and then you regress, it's often because you actually
19:13
didn't have the right systems in place.
19:15
And so that's what happened. You know, with my business is I
19:18
I hit, you know, different targets or milestones that I had
19:22
seen. Again, the outcome, the outcome,
19:24
the outcome. I had such an emphasis on the
19:26
outcome that I wanted. And then when I got there, I
19:30
kind of broke a little bit because I realized that the
19:34
system of how I got here, if this is what it means to have
19:37
this goal on going like, I don't even know if I can do this.
19:40
And that's because it required so much of me.
19:43
Even, you know, in my health journey.
19:45
I was like, OK, I'm going to eat and get this weight off.
19:48
I'm going to eat, you know, really intense around my
19:51
calories and be very specific about my calories and I'm going
19:54
to go to the gym six days a week and all of these things.
19:57
But then the reality was I didn't have time to do that.
19:59
I didn't have time to go to the gym six days a week and get
20:02
15,000 steps and, and, and, and, and so then I feel like what
20:08
happens for me is I when I don't achieve the goal, when I don't
20:12
achieve the thing, I start to get frustrated.
20:15
And it's like, that's not because you don't have the
20:16
potential to achieve your goal. It's not because it's, you know,
20:19
not the goal for you or that that's not possible for you
20:23
often times. We're not hitting our goal is
20:26
because we have not set ourselves up for success to have
20:29
the systems in place to be able to achieve them.
20:32
So there was an example provided in the podcast that had talked
20:36
about the fact that, you know, for example, say you're a busy
20:40
mom and you have the goal of I want to start working out or I
20:43
want to start, you know, going to the gym more.
20:45
Or maybe if it's something even simpler than leaving the house,
20:47
it could be, you know, wanting to meditate in the mornings and
20:50
spending 2020 minutes meditating.
20:53
Well, if you have three children that you have to get out the
20:56
door to be at school by 8:00 AM, it might be a little bit of the
21:00
wrong time in your system to do that goal.
21:04
And so when I started to hear them breakdown examples of
21:07
systems, it made me realize that our systems are something that
21:13
also we get to create and we have to acknowledge is the way
21:17
that we set up our system actually designed to make us
21:19
successful. So for myself, when things that
21:23
created momentum recently is the fact that my system I used to
21:26
believe was going to be that I would get up and do workouts at
21:29
6:00 AM. Remember when I said I wasn't a
21:31
morning person? So I'm a night owl.
21:34
I always have been. And I always like I can stay up
21:37
till 1:00 in the morning and not think twice about it.
21:39
So when I thought about getting up at like even like 4 AM, 5:00
21:43
AM, that no matter what dressing you put on, it is not a flavor
21:48
that I'm into because I'm not a morning person.
21:52
And so I was like, OK, how can I make this work for me?
21:55
So I realized I can get up and, you know, dive in, do my morning
22:00
routine and dive into work. But the thought of working out
22:02
upon opening my eyes was not something that interested me.
22:06
On the contrast though, when I started moving my workouts to
22:09
the evening in my system, meaning all my work is done,
22:13
close your laptop, you're done for the day.
22:16
Your responsibilities with your CEO hat are done, Put your
22:19
personal hat back on and get into routine.
22:22
When I started to do that, I realized I had way more
22:25
consistency happening. I had way more rhythm in my day.
22:29
And so I also think the goals versus systems is important
22:33
because we have to acknowledge that just because you and the
22:36
person next to you have the same goal doesn't mean that the
22:39
single woman who has no kids and all her time is her own.
22:44
That person doesn't have the same system to achieve that goal
22:48
as you do. And so I think it's important
22:51
for us to recognize that the systems we create also need to
22:54
be tailored to us, our goals, our values, our personality.
22:59
Like there are things that are real, very, very real logistical
23:04
realities, for example, as a parent that you navigate.
23:08
So when you see Barbara on the Internet telling you, like, come
23:13
on, get up in the morning and get working out, it's like, hey,
23:16
that's not my reality. And so we beat ourselves up
23:19
about not achieving things, thinking, OK, well, I'm not
23:22
motivated enough. I'm not, you know, determined
23:25
enough. I'm not inspired enough.
23:27
No, you have two to three kids who are running around in the
23:30
morning, and that might not be the time that you need to
23:33
meditate. Maybe you need to meditate
23:36
before bed. And you can give yourself an
23:38
intentional space where it makes more sense in your system.
23:41
So I really remember listening to that piece and saying, OK, is
23:45
there any area in my life where I'm trying to take someone
23:48
else's system, someone else's approach and integrate it as my
23:52
own? And is there a way for me to be
23:55
more personalized, more intentional about that system
23:58
for me to get better results and better outcomes?
24:01
So that's kind of the piece of the goal versus the system.
24:05
So ask yourself the goal you have, what system do you have
24:09
created, if any? And two, is the system something
24:12
that you've been given by somebody else?
24:14
Or is this a system that you would say actually supportive
24:17
for you, your lifestyle and your current reality?
24:20
Now take away #3 that I saw was that there are identity based
24:26
habits, and this is basically at the core philosophy of the
24:29
entire book. So there's three layers to
24:31
behavior change #1 the outcome, which is the thing that you want
24:34
to achieve #2 the processes, what you actually do repeatedly,
24:39
and 3rd, which is the identity, who you believe you are.
24:44
Most people focus on what they want to achieve and not who they
24:50
want to become. The habits.
24:53
That you have are a vote for your identity and this is
24:58
something that I talk about in other episodes about the
25:02
difference of the player versus the playbook is one of the ways
25:07
that I speak to this. The other way is also about the
25:10
fact, you know, George had said in an episode, you know, you
25:12
don't have the business you want because you haven't become the
25:14
person to run it. And that quote is such an
25:18
embodiment of this, this core principle that it's talking
25:21
about, which is that there's a difference between saying, you
25:25
know, I'm going to go for a run and I'm a runner.
25:28
There's a difference between saying, you know, I'm going to
25:31
try to make $100,000 a month or I want to embrace or I like I am
25:36
or I desire to be a 7 figure earner or A7 figure CEO. 1 is a
25:42
identity and one is an outward goal or a North Star that we're
25:47
going for. And so every habit that you have
25:51
is a vote for the person that you want to become.
25:54
And so the goal is to stack the votes.
25:57
And this was a really big lesson for me in business.
26:00
I had a mentor who I loved his direct coaching and I remember
26:06
him, I told him I wanted A7 figure business and he said
26:10
basically in a matter of words that I he didn't know that I
26:14
deserved it. And I kind of initially
26:17
obviously had as anyone's reaction would be like, what do
26:19
you mean? I'm thinking I'm paying, I'm
26:22
paying for coaching, Tell me I deserve it, right?
26:24
But that line completely changed my life and my business.
26:30
Him being direct and being honest with me because what it
26:33
did, is it really, he was giving me a kind of mindset check to
26:41
say, hey, just because you have a goal of seven figures doesn't
26:43
mean you're the person who you need to be to have a 7 figure
26:46
business. And that was because he told me
26:49
I'm not the person to run it yet.
26:51
So how could I have a 7 figure business if I'm not in the
26:53
mindset, in the identity, in the behavior, in the habits of A7
26:58
figure earner. And it was the best call out
27:02
that changed my life because it made me realize I was not
27:07
operating in the identity of the person I needed to become before
27:11
I became it. So like for example, when
27:14
someone wants to become an Olympic athlete and they desire
27:18
that as their goal, they need to train like an Olympian before
27:22
they are one. They need to rest and to recover
27:26
like an Olympian before they are one.
27:28
They got to be consistent like an Olympian in their training
27:32
before they become one. So there is sometimes this
27:36
disconnect I feel like that we have as business owners that we
27:41
believe that simply because we want a goal, we will achieve it.
27:45
Instead of asking yourself, are you the kind of person who has
27:49
the identity of that to have the habits of that, to therefore
27:54
have the reps of it to achieve the outcome.
27:57
And it's big in business because many people in business want to
28:01
scale a business, but they don't have the habits.
28:05
And as a result, truthfully, they don't have the identity
28:07
that they need to achieve that goal, which is why they're
28:11
always like, what's going on with the strategy?
28:12
What's going on with the strategy?
28:14
I'm like, the strategy may not be the issue.
28:17
Sometimes it's not the manual or the buttons, it's the user.
28:22
And that's something that I, I know from this process of the
28:26
three layers of behavior change, the outcome you want to achieve,
28:29
processes you do repeatedly and who you believe you are.
28:33
And so I want you to think back to your goal, think back to that
28:36
thing that you're looking to achieve and ask yourself, who do
28:39
I believe I am in that bucket? What is the identity that I
28:45
attribute to my goal? And for me in the health bucket,
28:51
I, I had a lot of excuses and I had a lot of identity around.
28:56
Like I was, I'm like, oh, I've always been skinny fat.
28:58
That's like I've always had just, you know, this has always
29:01
been the way that I am. It's fine.
29:03
There was that I had the second, which was like, you know, this
29:06
is 30, this is 30, This is just how it is at 30.
29:10
I had these beliefs about what were true.
29:14
And I truthfully had a belief to be very honest about the fact
29:18
that like I always have this goal.
29:21
I always struggle with this. I'm always inconsistent.
29:24
And I for the last several years have always struggled with, you
29:27
know, this is just how I am with this bucket now.
29:31
And So what I realized was to have the identity, I had to show
29:37
myself through evidence, which are the habits that I was
29:41
embodying it before I became it. And so we often hear this kind
29:46
of aspect or this, you know, quote of like, fake it till you
29:48
make it, which on one hand, I don't like.
29:51
I don't agree with it. If you're like renting
29:53
Lamborghinis and like private plane studios and stuff, like
29:58
not. My flavor.
29:59
But I do think there's an aspect to that which is true that you
30:04
have to believe it and embody it before you ever will become it.
30:07
And that is something that does not change no matter what your
30:11
what your goal is. Even if you are somebody that is
30:14
not innately living a healthy lifestyle right now, you need to
30:19
embody and believe and get into the identity of that of a
30:23
healthy day-to-day person to start living and taking the
30:26
steps and habits to that life. And.
30:31
I realized. That in any goal that I had that
30:34
I was successful in, it always started with me getting crystal
30:37
clear on identity and asking myself who is that person that I
30:42
tell myself I am versus what I do.
30:46
So again, the distinction being I'm a runner versus I'm going I,
30:50
I run right? Or I'm someone who runs often
30:53
versus I am a runner. There's a distinction between
30:56
those that adopt the identity and their consistency versus
31:00
those that just see the outcome or see the action and see that
31:05
as the identifying factor. So looking at remembering 3
31:09
levels of behavior change #1 the outcome.
31:11
What do you want to achieve? 2.
31:16
What you do repeatedly and three, the identity of who you
31:20
believe you are, all of these are the key aspects of behavior
31:26
change. OK, so the outcome you want the
31:28
process to achieve it and the belief of the identity of who
31:31
you believe that you are and identity change.
31:35
Because some people will say, well, Kate, like I've never been
31:38
more unhealthy. Saying the affirmation of like
31:41
I'm healthy does not necessarily make me healthy or potentially
31:45
for me. Back in the day I said, OK, you
31:47
know, saying I'm a 7 figure earner in the affirmation in the
31:50
mirror is not going to make me a 7 figure earner.
31:53
But it's not about affirmations. This is the thing.
31:56
It's not about affirmations. It's actually about giving
31:59
yourself evidence via action. Becoming the.
32:04
Identity of the person you want is not about affirmations, it's
32:08
about giving yourself evidence via action.
32:12
Meaning the seven figure business owner that you want to
32:15
become is not a matter of you being like I'm a 7 figure
32:18
business owner in the mirror every single day.
32:20
It's a matter of you putting in the reps that are that of A7
32:25
figure business owner. It's you putting in the reps
32:28
that say these are the habits that are that of A7 figure
32:31
business owner. These are the decisions.
32:33
This is how they wake up. This is how they operate in
32:36
conflict. This is how they deal with
32:39
difficult situations. This is how they deal with
32:41
consistency. This is how they deal with
32:43
motivation. You are wanting to embody
32:47
through action every single day until you become and the
32:52
disconnect that many will experience, and you may be
32:56
experiencing this in some of your goals right now is the
32:59
desire for a certain outcome without the actions or evidence
33:03
to tell yourself that you are that thing.
33:05
You will build the identity of A7 figure earner often times
33:10
long before you actually become a 7 figure earner.
33:12
And that's what happened to me. I revamped my morning routine.
33:16
I revamped my evening routine. I revamped my circles of people
33:19
I was around. I revamped my regulation and
33:22
being able to handle different levels of stress or stimuli
33:25
around me. I revamped almost every area of
33:29
my life to try to give myself as much alignment in my habits and
33:35
my execution and my evidence to the person that I wanted to
33:39
become. And so I want to invite you to
33:42
think about and just for a second to tap into what is that
33:45
goal that you want? What is that thing that you're
33:49
looking to achieve? OK.
33:50
And if you are tapping into the identity of that person, OK, so
33:55
maybe it's the healthy person, maybe it's the wealthy person,
33:58
maybe it's, you know, the not stressed out version, right?
34:03
Whatever it may be, that thing that you're wanting to become.
34:09
Who is she? Who?
34:11
Who is that person and what does she do in correlation with your
34:17
goal? What does her?
34:19
Routine look like? What are her habits look like?
34:23
What are the steps that she takes?
34:25
And the goal here is to get crystal clear on what those
34:28
answers are. Because if you want to become a
34:32
specific identity for yourself, so again, like, I'm not just
34:35
running, I'm a runner. You want to ask yourself if I'm
34:38
a runner, what do I do Monday to Friday?
34:41
If I'm a runner, how do I recover?
34:43
If I'm a runner, what do I eat? If I'm a runner, how do I sleep?
34:48
When do I sleep? How long do I sleep?
34:50
Those are where you will start to uncover the actions that will
34:55
correlate you to the identity of the person that you really
34:58
deeply desire to become. Now the habit piece was
35:04
obviously the piece that everybody wants to know, hence
35:06
the topic Atomic Habits. So I want to break down the four
35:10
step loop that they talk about when it comes to any habit that
35:13
we experience. OK, so first is the cue, which
35:17
is the trigger. 2 is the craving, which is the desire,
35:21
3rd is the response which is the action, and 4th is the reward
35:25
which is the benefit. So I'm going to give you an
35:28
example. OK, to walk you through with
35:31
these four steps, look like #1 is the cue, which remember,
35:34
that's the trigger. That's the thing that causes us
35:37
to go into the habit. As a, you know, example to run
35:41
through these could be like you're feeling anxious, you're
35:44
feeling overwhelmed, you're feeling overstimulated, you're
35:46
stressed, or you're bored. OK, so you're having an
35:50
emotional dysregulation in some capacity might be your cue.
35:54
And that cue is something that causes you to go to Step 2,
35:58
which is considered the craving. That's the desire.
36:02
So when you're, let's just say stressed, you're anxious, you're
36:06
craving is you don't crave junk food, you crave comfort or
36:09
pleasure. OK.
36:11
So often a lot of us, like even for me, one of the things when
36:14
we were growing up, which is part of what I've had to heal
36:17
with my relationship with food, is that when we were growing up,
36:20
my family had a very messy divorce.
36:23
There's a lot of stress happening for many years in my
36:24
life. And so with that, when my mom
36:27
would be stressed out, she'd be like, you know, seeing us
36:30
stressed out as kids and she's like, great, we're all going to
36:33
go get ice cream, right? So single mom of four, we're all
36:36
she's stressed out. We're stressed out because the
36:38
divorce was very messy. And so as a result, we're all
36:41
going to go get ice cream. Here's what unintentionally, she
36:44
didn't mean to, but she reinforced is stress is cured by
36:48
food. So what ended up happening was
36:51
the cue would be that I was stressed out, I was anxious, I
36:54
was overwhelmed. And the first thing that I would
36:56
crave is sugar. I'm like, I want, I want a ice
37:00
cream, I want a cake, I want a croissant, I want a hot
37:04
chocolate, I want something sugary and sweet.
37:07
I want food. And literally, I'm not even
37:11
joking. Even now I remember I had a like
37:15
just this past year, I had a situation, I was really, really
37:17
stressed out about it and I was like, I need cake.
37:20
And someone was like, what? And I'm like, I really need a
37:23
cake. And I remember thinking.
37:26
That's not a normal response. To this stressor, but it was
37:29
because I didn't really want cake.
37:31
It wasn't about the cake. It was about the fact that this
37:36
craving, this desire provided me comfort.
37:40
It provided me a dopamine spike. It made me feel better.
37:44
And that thing doesn't have to be food.
37:46
It could also be when you're stressed and anxious, do you
37:49
binge Tiktok and you scroll for two hours and you kind of go
37:53
into this doom scrolling habit. Are you someone when you get
37:55
stressed and anxious that you shut down and you just kind of
37:59
rot in bed for hours at a time? The other thing, which is also
38:03
for some of you high achievers, can be also the case when you're
38:06
stressed, you don't slow down. You go into OverDrive where
38:10
you're like, I'm stressed out. This happens to me too.
38:12
I'm going to clean the entire house and I would start
38:14
organizing random drawers I haven't opened in nine months.
38:19
It's still a habit because when you have the activator of the
38:22
cue, the emotional state that is impacted in this situation, the
38:27
goal of the next step of the craving is to give you the thing
38:30
that you ultimately desire. And so the desire is not about
38:34
the next step that you take. So when I'm anxious and I go to
38:37
grab, as I said, a piece of cake or, you know, get an ice cream
38:41
or something like that, it's not about the ice cream.
38:42
It's not about the cake. It's about the fact of how that
38:45
cake, that ice cream makes me feel when I'm done with it.
38:48
And so that's the real reason we go to the desire, the real
38:51
reason that we go to that craving.
38:54
Now, the third is what our response is.
38:57
OK, so step one is the cue. That's the trigger, the
39:00
activator that causes us to crave something, which is Step
39:03
2, the craving. What is the actual thing that
39:06
you desire after the cue has happened and you've been become
39:09
activated? Now, third, now that you know
39:12
the desire, the thing that you want, then comes the action,
39:17
which is the fact that you want to eat a cookie, you want to
39:22
have a piece of cake. And there's two factors that
39:25
decide whether a response is going to happen, motivation and
39:31
friction. If the habit is too complicated
39:35
or too exhausting or inconvenient, it won't lead to
39:38
action because simplicity will always win.
39:42
So I want to break this down. OK, I'm sitting watching TV.
39:47
I've become stressed and anxious.
39:50
Instant light bulb goes. Off I want chocolate and so this
39:54
queue happens. I now crave chocolate and I go
39:57
to act. If I have. 7 chocolate bars
40:02
sitting in my cupboard at home. There's a pretty high likeliness
40:08
that I'm going to take that chocolate and eat it.
40:11
Now think on the contrast. I'm on the couch and Uber Eats
40:15
didn't do us any favor when they started delivering incredible
40:19
food right to our door. But I'm sitting on the couch,
40:21
I'm stressed, I'm anxious again. Q2.
40:24
I go into the craving, which is the chocolate.
40:27
But I go to my cupboard now and there's no chocolate in the
40:29
cupboard. I have no sweets, in fact, in
40:32
the house. When I go to search the freezer,
40:34
nothing there. Go search the cupboard, nothing
40:36
there, nothing in the fridge. So now I have this moment where
40:39
I will have to get in my car, drive to the store, go get
40:43
something, bring it home, eat it in order to cue the craving.
40:50
So we. Know that the more difficult
40:53
that you make the ability to respond to the craving, the
40:58
better chance you're going to have often times of helping you
41:02
to overcome it. So it's often times, you know,
41:04
if they are working with someone who has a severe addiction to
41:07
something, they will say to try to limit the amount that you're
41:10
around it. And that's because you have an
41:12
easy access to the thing that is your craving.
41:16
So if you have a easy access to it, it makes it very easy to
41:20
fall into that habit. Whereas for most of us, if
41:24
something's difficult and we want it, we don't necessarily
41:27
always go do it because it's difficult.
41:30
This also though, works on the inverse as well, which I'll
41:33
explain in a second. The last step is reward, which
41:37
is that you now satisfy the craving and it teaches your
41:40
brain that the habit, whether the actual habit is worth
41:45
remembering. And with this, we actually see
41:49
the reward system happen, right? So remember, I have the cue, I'm
41:53
anxious, I eat the chocolate. I, you know, respond to it by
41:56
eating it. And now I've got dopamine.
41:59
So my body goes, oh, OK, this feels good.
42:02
Let's do this again. So we have a reward system
42:06
that's built in which ultimately basic psychology reinforces the
42:10
behavior. Negative consequences typically
42:13
delay behavior. Increased rewards ultimately
42:17
support behavior change. So what we know is that when you
42:23
have a reward, even from a really bad habit.
42:27
So this is not to say that the reward is always something
42:30
healthy for you. The reward you know of me
42:32
sitting and eating 7 chocolate bars is the dopamine doesn't
42:35
mean that doing so is good for me.
42:37
It just means that I am getting some kind of reward from it.
42:40
And in any habit that you're struggling with or any habit
42:44
that you want to create, there has to be reward.
42:46
So you might think, well, Kate, why am I scrolling TikTok for
42:50
three hours? There's a reward in that your
42:52
dopamine center is getting activated non-stop when you're
42:55
scrolling online. And so when you remove the
42:59
reward, right, it's a little bit less appealing to your brain to
43:03
go do it because what's the benefit of us doing so?
43:06
We're not getting anything from this.
43:08
So with this I want to share something that is such a simple
43:15
explanation but it's so powerful.
43:17
Bad habits are centered in feel good now.
43:23
Accept the cost. Later good habits are centered
43:28
in pay the cost now. And pay later.
43:33
OK, so bad habits feel good now, cost later.
43:38
Good habits are cost now and basically feel good later.
43:43
OK, you'll notice in this that there's the ability to postpone
43:48
satisfaction and for all of you ambitious ladies, because I'm
43:52
one of you and I have the same wiring in me.
43:54
This is very difficult because I love a good dopamine spike as
43:58
much as the next person and I love quick wins and I love fast
44:01
momentum and I love, you know, quick moving anything.
44:04
Like I am always like yes, momentum a win and energy like I
44:08
love to follow the positive energy, but that's not always
44:12
going to be there. So we have to have the ability
44:14
to, as a result, have upfront cost for long term gain.
44:20
Bad habits are typically those who pay into, you know, this
44:24
idea of oh, I want the short term gain, short term gain, but
44:26
they often don't have long term wins as a result.
44:30
So the thing that is important for us to recognize, I want to
44:36
go back to when we talked about levels of friction.
44:40
So when you have a natural response to doing something, if
44:43
it's very difficult for you to do, even though you enjoy it.
44:45
So again, back to the chocolate bar.
44:47
If I really want that chocolate bar and it's very difficult for
44:51
me to have, I also may not go to the store to go get it cuz it's
44:54
like, oh, I really want chocolate but I'm not in the
44:56
mood to go do ABCDE to go get it.
44:59
The same thing is true on the inverse, which is that if you
45:03
are someone who's trying to start a healthy habit and you
45:06
make it really complicated, it also creates A barrier to doing
45:09
something good. So just like friction is a
45:13
resistance to doing something bad.
45:16
Friction can. Also be a part of doing
45:19
something good as a habit. So meaning if I set a goal where
45:25
I remember I was saying before when I was looking at, you know,
45:27
my food or trying to be more healthy when it comes to my food
45:30
choices. If I make it really, really
45:32
difficult and complex, then I'm actually going to be adding
45:35
friction to what I'm doing versus just saying make a log of
45:39
what you ate today to just create a level of awareness for
45:42
yourself. It's a simplicity versus a level
45:45
of complexity that ultimately is friction added to my goal.
45:48
So another thing that I noted is that a hack is you must make a
45:54
reward immediate, even if artificial to close the loop.
45:59
So one of the ways that I do this reward system, I'm still
46:03
not when I used to be really into working out, I like got
46:07
dopamine from the workouts and I would be so excited to go to the
46:09
gym and I was like super into it.
46:13
I'm waiting for the day that comes.
46:14
Back, but I'm not there yet. So now what I have literally on
46:18
my wall in my washroom is I have a tracker that's a basically
46:22
like a monthly planner and it has my food goal for the day, my
46:27
protein goal, it has my step goal and it has my workout.
46:31
Yes or no. And it's not to judge myself.
46:34
Like it's not to say like, oh, you did good that day and you
46:36
did bad that day. And it's not about any of that.
46:38
It's about the fact that I'm seeing my level of consistency.
46:42
It's a it's an awareness of I put a check mark basically on
46:46
every single day that I do what I said I was going to do and I
46:52
put an X on the days that I don't do what I said I was going
46:56
to do. So with that, all I'm looking to
46:58
do is create a streak. I'm like, OK, great.
47:00
I want to have like a bunch of check marks.
47:02
I'm meaning I did all the things that I said I was going to do
47:04
today. So.
47:07
It's important to also. Recognize that when when I do
47:10
that, that to me is a reward at the end of the day.
47:13
I'm like, man, I don't really want to fill out this tracker
47:15
and put like no workout, no food, no steps, right?
47:19
There's an aspect of I want to kind of keep up my streak and be
47:21
consistent. Businesses also do this, for
47:25
example, like My Fitness Pal, if anyone uses that My Fitness Pal,
47:29
when you put in your food each day of what you're eating, they
47:32
will literally be like, hey, you've hit a six day streak.
47:35
You hit a seven day streak and it will literally tell you how
47:38
consistent you've been. I don't need that streak, right?
47:42
Like that's not something that I asked for it.
47:44
But what they're doing is they're creating a reward system
47:47
with their app. They're creating a reward system
47:49
that says, hey, come back, come back, don't break your streak,
47:52
come back. And so that helps a lot to help
47:57
people to have a reward to continue a behavior, which for
48:00
most people using My Fitness Pal is centered around their health.
48:04
So in this episode, they discuss that you cannot delete a habit.
48:08
You can only replace it with a new one, which ultimately is
48:10
with a new response. So remember, we've got Q.
48:15
I'm stressed or anxious to the craving, which is I want
48:18
chocolate. The only thing that we can
48:21
change is the response, which is what do I actually do after
48:25
wanting chocolate and feeling stressed?
48:28
So what I started to do to help myself to rewire this is I
48:33
actually started, sounds really weird, but I actually started to
48:36
eat cucumbers. So I was like, I knew that every
48:39
time I was stressed I would go and get sugary things.
48:44
And so now I swap it with something that is basically
48:48
blank calories. It's like a Coke 0 or I have a
48:53
cucumber or something along that line.
48:55
I replace it with something else that is a different type of
48:58
food, but it's a food that doesn't necessarily have any
49:02
calories to it. Now with that, I also could if I
49:07
wanted to, which I had another friend of mine did.
49:09
She was having and talking to me about her relationship with
49:11
eating another one of my friends when she felt the cue for this
49:16
would go in and she would like have again the cue of anxiety to
49:20
the desire or craving to eat sugar or carbs.
49:24
And So what she did is she would go and she would get steps in.
49:27
She's like I would go and I would literally do 3 laps around
49:29
my block and after that that would be my response because I'm
49:33
trying to rewire the behavior. So after that, she was like, I
49:37
would go and reward myself basically by doing something
49:41
fun. So like she would instantly
49:43
state change and over time it meant as a result, she didn't
49:46
really crave anything anymore when she was stressed.
49:48
And that's because she broke the pattern.
49:50
So the thing that's important to remember though, is that you do
49:52
have to replace the response. You can't just be like, I'm done
49:56
with this habit, right? You need to replace it because
49:59
otherwise you'll fall back onto your system, which right now
50:02
your system is something that may not support you.
50:05
So they discuss in this the four laws of behavior change.
50:09
So I want to share this with you.
50:10
Law 1. You have to make it obvious, IE
50:14
the queue with habit tracking your scorecards.
50:16
You cannot change a habit that you do not notice.
50:22
You cannot change a habit that you do not notice.
50:24
So this is also why that tracker is really helpful for me because
50:29
when I see that I have these, you know, check marks on these
50:32
days, I have a, an actual obvious awareness of my
50:36
consistency. I have an obvious awareness of
50:38
my achievements. Versus if you, for example,
50:41
don't have that, then it means that you might not know how many
50:45
days you skip the gym. You might not know how many days
50:47
you didn't put up a post this week.
50:48
You might not know how many times you didn't do something
50:52
because you have no visibility of that thing.
50:55
So this is also something we talk about in business.
50:57
We talk about what gets measured gets managed, and that's true of
51:02
any goal that you have. If you do not measure it,
51:04
there's no way to really manage your consistency with it.
51:07
And as a result, there's no way to manage your ability to
51:09
achieve it as well law to make it attractive, IE the craving
51:16
make it attractive. We repeat behaviors that feel
51:19
good. So pair something you want to do
51:23
with something you need to do so.
51:27
Another habit that I did. Until the last like 2 years, I
51:30
like didn't drink water. I'm going to be really honest.
51:32
I don't know. I was a Raisin.
51:34
I did not drink water. I don't know how I've survived.
51:39
I'm going to be honest, I don't know how I survived.
51:41
I didn't drink water. So I remember I got a Stanley
51:46
and I was like, OK, I have to get into this habit of drinking
51:48
water. So what I did is every single
51:50
day when I would go and I'd make my coffee at the same time, I
51:53
would have it stack and I would fill my Stanley at the exact
51:56
same time. So before I would drink the
51:58
coffee, I would try to drink the Stanley before I would go on to
52:02
anything else. And so that overtime turned me
52:07
from Raisin into like a fish because now I am just drinking
52:10
tons of water. And every time basically that I,
52:14
you know, go to make a coffee, I'm filling it up anytime now
52:18
that I'm on a break, which is another habit that I stacked any
52:21
break that I have in my schedule.
52:22
And like I label my breaks as green in my schedule.
52:27
Anytime I hit a green block, I have to check my water.
52:29
So I started to pair these different pieces together and I
52:33
found that that really made me, especially with the coffee.
52:37
I love coffee, I am obsessed with coffee.
52:41
So because of that, I knew that I enjoyed making my coffee.
52:44
So naturally, if I stack my Stanley on top of it and filling
52:47
my water, I'm not going to have a hard time integrating that.
52:51
Now business wise, there are things that you like to do and
52:55
there's things that you don't like to do.
52:56
So for me, I love listening, for example, like to a podcast in
53:00
the morning. So sometimes now what I'll do is
53:03
I'll literally put on a podcast and I'll do, you know, Slack
53:06
messages or emails or like catch up basically on admin while
53:10
doing that. I don't love doing admin work
53:11
personally, but I do find that if I make it an enjoyable
53:16
experience, I can have it stack the two together and make it a
53:18
really fun thing to do versus like I have to answer, you know,
53:22
all these emails and backlog. So with that law three, make it
53:26
easy. The easier it is, the more
53:29
likely it sticks. Layout.
53:30
For example, if you're someone who wants to work out in the
53:32
morning, lay out your clothes in advance, reduce your friction.
53:36
For example, if it's a matter of I really want to read more,
53:40
don't tell yourself that you're going to read the entire book or
53:44
three chapters tonight. Tell yourself you're going to
53:46
read 3 pages like start small with the goal and remove the
53:52
friction that you may be creating for yourself in being
53:55
able to achieve that goal. And with that there is in this
53:59
making it easy. There is a rule, it's the
54:02
two-minute rule, which is any new habit should take less than
54:04
two minutes to start. So for example, if you want to
54:07
go to the gym, going to the gym is not the step, it's putting
54:12
your shoes on. Meaning the thing that you
54:15
actually have to do to actually start that goal needs to be
54:19
fast. So for example, I try to do
54:24
10,000 steps a day or 10 kilometers a day, which things
54:28
like 15,000 steps or something like that.
54:30
And when I had that goal last January, I was like, OK, how am
54:35
I going to do this? So I have to walk my dogs
54:37
everyday. So what I did is I literally
54:39
laid out my shoes and I am not even kidding you.
54:42
I would wake up, I would put on my big oversized coat sometimes,
54:46
most times still in my pajamas, and I would literally put my
54:48
shoes on. And I would go for a walk and
54:51
I'm not even awake 9 times at a time until halfway through the
54:54
walk. And so I would wake up and
54:57
really get, you know, awake basically during the walk
54:59
itself. But The thing is, there was no
55:01
resistance. I literally woke up.
55:02
I brush my teeth, I go down, I put my shoes on and we go.
55:05
And so I removed the oh, but I got to get ready first and oh,
55:09
but I got to get a coffee and then I got to wash my face and
55:13
then I got to get the dogs, let them out and feed them
55:15
breakfast. It was like all is resistance,
55:18
just put your shoes on and go. And I realized that making it
55:22
simpler is actually what made it easy for me to do.
55:25
Now because I don't struggle with the consistency of walking,
55:29
I don't find I have any issue with it.
55:31
So it hasn't been difficult for me.
55:33
I can have anything resistance wise in front of me almost and
55:37
you know, I'm able to be consistent.
55:38
But at the beginning it was something that was really
55:40
difficult for me to do. I couldn't get the motivation to
55:44
go walking. And so 2 minute rule, any new
55:47
habit that you want to integrate should take less than two
55:49
minutes to get started. So the habit is not going to the
55:52
gym. The habit is get your shoes on
55:54
go for a walk or potentially get your shoes on, get in the car
55:57
law 4 make it satisfying IE give a reward and immediate rewards
56:03
matter never miss twice once as an accident twice is actually
56:08
the start of a new habit it's. Going to remind.
56:12
You of that one. When you miss something once, it
56:16
can be an accident. If you miss it twice, it's
56:18
actually the start of a new habit.
56:21
I want it for this. One, just give an example for
56:25
business, because often times I see this with within business,
56:29
which is people will say like, Oh yeah, I didn't get around to
56:32
it or Oh yeah, I didn't have time for that or yeah, I'm
56:36
working on X. And there's kind of just this
56:38
like the the lack of consistency is like it's day after day, it's
56:42
week after week, it's constant, it's nonstop.
56:45
And people are like, oh, it's a off week or it was an off day,
56:49
but it's off week or the off day in your business is basically a
56:52
lifestyle, meaning it's constantly happening that it's
56:55
not really necessarily a one off accident of oh, you had like one
56:59
off, you know, weird day or you had this one off situation.
57:03
It's actually something that you've more often than not made
57:06
into a new habit of inconsistency.
57:08
So it is something that you want to go back to, to rewire, to be
57:12
a habit of consistency for yourself.
57:15
So with. This let's address how to
57:20
reverse breaking a bad habit. So first make it invisible,
57:26
remove your triggers and change your environment.
57:29
So remember I said, you know, when someone's really struggling
57:31
with addiction, they will say don't go near your triggers.
57:34
The same thing is true when it comes to anything.
57:38
If you're somebody who spends a lot of money when you're in a
57:40
mall, don't go to the mall anymore.
57:42
If you're somebody who has a little bit of a a knack for
57:46
online shopping, don't go onto the online sites to go shopping
57:50
anymore. For me, one of the things that
57:53
really helped me is like I try to stock the house with really
57:57
healthy snacks that are like ready to eat at a moment's
57:59
notice. Because then if I have a choice
58:03
and I'm kind of like scrambling in between calls for whatever
58:05
reason, and I have choice one, which is like a Turkey stick to
58:08
eat or choice 2, which is cupcakes.
58:11
Which one do you think I'm going to pick?
58:13
Right? Like that to me was something
58:15
that changed everything, especially because I just found
58:18
that I was go, go, go, and whatever was accessible is what
58:22
I did. So I realized what was
58:24
accessible was going to be my action.
58:26
And so I wanted to ensure the things that were my action or
58:28
were accessible were the things that I actually wanted for me
58:31
and for my future. So if you want to reverse
58:33
something that's a bad habit, number one, you have to make it
58:35
invisible, right? So we can't have this be
58:38
something that's a constant trigger in our environment.
58:40
And with this, you have to try as much as possible to remove
58:44
your environment. Two, you want to make the habit
58:47
that you have that you're struggling to overcome
58:49
unattractive. So you want to actually start to
58:53
frame it as a long term cost. You need to talk and see that
58:58
that habit as something that is in fact negative.
59:02
So I would say most of us don't sit with our habits enough to
59:07
actually see the impact that those are creating for us.
59:10
And because of that, we will often times repeat the
59:15
negativity because we don't actually take a second to
59:17
reflect on truly how negative it is.
59:20
And so I would say the the long term cost and talking about the
59:24
true impact of your habit, talk about the negative consequence
59:27
of your habit. Those are important practices
59:30
because those are actually the thing that will be the catalyst
59:33
for you connecting the thing you're doing to negativity
59:36
versus making it neutral and making it OK.
59:39
Third is make it difficult, add friction.
59:42
So as I said, you can remove the trigger, but also with that you
59:45
can also try to find a way to make it really, really difficult
59:49
to get. So, you know, for example, James
59:53
Clear in this podcast talked about the fact that he was
59:55
trying to have more focused work time and he realized that his
1:00:00
phone, he left it plugged in the morning until X time.
1:00:03
And he had noted that he would go in his office on the other
1:00:06
side of the house. And he added friction, which
1:00:08
means he couldn't take his phone off the charger till X time and
1:00:11
he'd have to go across the house to go use his charger.
1:00:15
So he was like just the added friction of the fact that if I
1:00:18
wanted to like check social media, check my text messages,
1:00:21
check anything, if I wanted to check it, I had to go walk to
1:00:24
the other side of the house in order to be able to do that.
1:00:28
And so he's like, with that friction, I realized I didn't go
1:00:30
as much, whereas when my phone was right beside me, I would see
1:00:34
a notification or I'd see something come in and I would
1:00:36
instantly check it. And so this speaks to the aspect
1:00:40
of friction. If you make something difficult,
1:00:44
then it's going to be harder for you to do, which means naturally
1:00:47
your brain's going to really need that thing to go above and
1:00:50
beyond. And so again, mine was removing
1:00:53
the trigger of having it in the house, but my removing of
1:00:56
having, you know, tons of chocolate in the house was
1:00:59
removing the trigger, yes, but it was also making it way more
1:01:01
friction, which means if in the event that I must have
1:01:04
chocolate, I have to go to the store and drive there and go get
1:01:10
it or spend money to have someone deliver it in order to
1:01:13
be able to receive it. So with that, make it difficult.
1:01:17
So #1 make it invisible #2 make it unattractive to do so.
1:01:22
Talk about the impact and negative consequence. 3rd, make
1:01:25
it difficult, which is adding friction.
1:01:27
And lastly, make it unsatisfying.
1:01:29
Make there be a consequence to this.
1:01:32
Maybe even an accountability partner that sees you in the
1:01:36
execution of this. If you can make it unsatisfying
1:01:40
to do, you're not typically going to be as incentivized to
1:01:44
do it. And that's because we know our
1:01:45
brains are deeply wired and rooted in reward.
1:01:51
So the ultimate take away of this is as well, you are not
1:01:55
going to see progress immediately.
1:01:58
And a lot of people quit because they don't see instant results.
1:02:04
And so the analogy they gave was like ice melting.
1:02:08
So when you see a piece of ice and the ice is not water on the
1:02:12
counter yet, it doesn't mean that it's not melting, it's just
1:02:15
not melted. And I.
1:02:17
Think that that's an. Important thing for us to
1:02:19
recognize. It's like just because for you
1:02:22
and your goal, you haven't completely kicked this overnight
1:02:27
or you have not. Maybe you're trying to do a a
1:02:29
positive habit and you haven't seen that positive habit
1:02:32
generate results. You wanting the overnight
1:02:35
results could very well be the thing that is causing the whole
1:02:38
thing not to work anyways. So just because you can't see
1:02:42
it, just because you can't feel it, the thing that you're doing,
1:02:45
remember that 1%, just because you're doing something 1% better
1:02:49
and it's not feeling that like this kind of like catastrophic
1:02:52
change or it's not feeling like this, you know, massive catalyst
1:02:56
of I'm a new person and I woke up different today.
1:02:59
Just because you don't have that doesn't mean that you're in fact
1:03:01
not making change. What it means is that the change
1:03:06
that you're making is a 1% increment.
1:03:10
You're doing what actually creates change, which is you're
1:03:12
creating small habits, and you're using those small habits
1:03:16
to overtime compound to help you to get the outcome that you
1:03:20
want. And so I want to invite you to
1:03:24
look at one of two things today. I want you to to invite you #1
1:03:28
to listen to that full podcast. If you've listened to this one
1:03:31
and that one, there's no way you won't know how to make or undo a
1:03:34
habit of yours. But if you want even more on
1:03:39
this number one, I would definitely recommend going and
1:03:41
getting a copy of Atomic Habits. It is a fantastic book, is
1:03:44
incredible bestseller, and you will not be sorry if you read
1:03:47
that 2. They have a fantastic episode
1:03:50
below for you If you want to listen to that, which goes in
1:03:52
even more detail the things that I talked about today.
1:03:55
And 3rd, I want to invite you and give you an invitation to
1:03:59
take this thought process, take this kind of activation, this
1:04:03
spark, and to say to yourself, what is something that I want to
1:04:06
create as a habit for myself? What is maybe instead something
1:04:09
I want to release as a habit? And I want you to go back to
1:04:13
these cues. These these I actually say
1:04:16
stages, which is #1 the cue. You either want to create the
1:04:20
cue and make, you know, make sure that you have a queue for
1:04:24
this habit, IE, you know, put the shoes at the door, or you
1:04:28
also want to potentially remove the queue, which is again,
1:04:32
removing the triggers in your environment.
1:04:34
If you're trying to undo it, you want to make sure that you have
1:04:38
clarity of what is the goal that I'm working toward, What is the
1:04:41
goal that I'm trying to undo and how am I going to use this four
1:04:45
step process to help me to make change in that as fast as
1:04:48
possible. Most importantly, I want to
1:04:50
invite you. This isn't, this is not
1:04:52
something that you need to ponder on.
1:04:53
It's not something you need to think on.
1:04:55
It's not something you need to just, you know, oh, I had this
1:04:58
podcast. I'm going to sit on this for two
1:05:00
weeks and think about what my plan could be.
1:05:02
I want to invite you to make a small 1% change right away.
1:05:09
So if you aren't wanting to get more steps in a day, could you
1:05:15
put your shoes on and go do so? Could you put your shoes by the
1:05:18
door to do so tonight? If you are somebody, for
1:05:22
example, who wants to remove, like me, the trigger of going to
1:05:27
sugar when stressed, could you potentially remove the triggers
1:05:30
in your environment at home? Could you say, hey, I'm throwing
1:05:32
out the chocolate after this podcast?
1:05:34
Like, could you do something right now, listening to today
1:05:39
that would allow you to have already created, just by
1:05:43
listening and instantly going and doing it already have
1:05:45
created 1% more likeliness of either #1 achieving a goal or #2
1:05:51
undoing a habit. So the action you take is going
1:05:54
to do one of two things today. Well, technically three.
1:05:57
First in action, you'll do nothing.
1:05:59
You'll be like, that was inspiring.
1:06:00
Yeah, I should think about that. That would be cool.
1:06:02
And you won't do anything. Two, you'll be the person who
1:06:05
says, OK, what was the habit I'm trying to work on?
1:06:07
What's an instant step that I could take to get myself a cue
1:06:09
that's very, very low friction, keep it simple.
1:06:12
Or third, what is a habit that I want to undo that is a trigger
1:06:16
in my environment that I can support myself and get rid of to
1:06:19
help myself with that habit? I want to invite you to do that
1:06:23
because it's very easy to listen to a podcast.
1:06:25
It's very easy to read a book even and feel really inspired
1:06:28
and feel very activated and do absolutely nothing with the
1:06:31
information that you just learned.
1:06:33
So I want to challenge you to not just think about this, not
1:06:36
to ruminate on it, but to do something about it.
1:06:38
And so with that being said, I hope today was helpful for you.
1:06:41
Please be sure to listen to the podcast below in the show notes.
1:06:44
We'll have it linked for you wherever you are listening or
1:06:46
watching. But more than anything, I want
1:06:48
to say thank you so much for tuning in today.
1:06:49
And if you want to share, I feel like I shared a lot about my
1:06:53
sugar addiction today. But if you are somebody who also
1:06:56
wants to maybe share either #1A habit that you're going for or
1:06:59
to a habit that you enlisting today are committed to undoing,
1:07:03
I would love, as I talked about, accountability is huge.
1:07:06
I would love to witness you in that.
1:07:07
So if you are someone who wants to claim that, state that, and
1:07:11
have someone else who knows that to be true for your goals for
1:07:14
2026, I would love to be that person for you.
1:07:17
So my DMS are open if you want to chat or connect and share
1:07:21
your goals for 2026. But with all that being said, I
1:07:24
will see you in the next episode.
1:07:25
And, as always, stay ambitious.