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Biblical Gossip? · Wetumpka Church of Christ Online

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Good to see y'all. We got a great crowd here today
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and I'm looking around. I'm noticing, we've got a number
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of visitors with us. I'd like to Echo what Alex said
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during our announcements were excited to have you as part of
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our congregation. I see Paul Kidwell sitting right
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over there. Don't listen to anything.
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Paul tells you about me from my childhood.
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Just telling me don't want to hear it.
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It's not going to be good for you.
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I don't be going around telling stories Paul.
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It's good to have you. Good to see you.
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We're excited to have all of our visitors with us today.
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I see that we have Tori's parents visiting.
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Are still married, still working out.
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We're excited and others as well.
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We're glad to have you here if you haven't already done, so,
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please fill out one of those visitors cards.
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We would love to know that you have visited with us today.
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All of our regular members that that know me.
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Know that I struggle with filtering.
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What I say is Right Benjamin. There are some of us who have a
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personality such as mine that has a tendency to speak really.
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Well. Well before our brain kicks into
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gear. And for those of us that have
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that struggle, it's real. It is a real real struggle.
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Some of you don't have that struggle.
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Well, good for you. That's not you.
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That's not your Your struggle. But you have other struggles
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that perhaps us who speak before we think that we don't have.
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That's just the way life is. We're all made differently.
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I heard a comedian say sometime back.
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It really resonated with me and I thought, oh, that's that's,
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that's me right there. And I'll kind of account a
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little bit of what he what he said.
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One of the things was that he said was you know, one of the
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big problems with talking all the time is that you don't
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always have someone with you to go.
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Don't say that. Now that's why we get married.
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Right Andrew. We get married.
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So our wives can, you know, give us the elbow right in the side
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to hush us up and the comedian went on to say that he thought
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and I think it's a great idea. That wouldn't it be great if all
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of life was really like acting for a movie production and you
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know on down the line that you're doing something, imagine
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all the things that you could fix if life was like a movie,
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Reproduction you bump into someone you haven't seen in a
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long time and you go. Oh hey, how are you doing?
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Whoa, you look pregnant. Are you pregnant cut, cut, cut,
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cut cut? No, no, let's let's go back in
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and come back out and try that a little differently.
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Next time that would really be beneficial.
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At least for me. If all of life was like that
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where someone could say cut you could get a do-over with
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something that that you said words.
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Can be dangerous. Words, can be beneficial and
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edifying. And here lately.
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This is something that I've been thinking a lot about about how
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we use our words, what we say when we say it.
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And so I've actually prepared a series of lessons bless your
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hearts. Y'all are about to get a big
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dose of Brent some way or another, the schedule worked
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out. I'm going to be preaching every
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other Sunday for the next two months.
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You're going to get me three more times after this one and
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Warning to do with my lessons is talk a little bit about how we
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use our words and the one that I've chosen to talk about today
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is the give and The Taking of criticism.
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Now, again, like I said, just a moment ago at our personalities
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are all different and so some people are less critical than
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others. Am I right?
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We're probably all thinking of someone that is very, very
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critical and I don't want anybody pointing.
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Fingers or raising hands. And then there are those of us
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who deal very well with taking criticism.
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And then there are those of us who it crushes, our Spirits or
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it makes us incredibly angry or it makes us really indignant
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when being criticized. And I really think that there
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are some better ways to handle criticism and I think there are
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some better ways for us to dish out criticisms before Go into
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that, take your Bibles and we're going to come back to our
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scripture reading that Dean red port for someone to go.
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We're going to come back to that in just a moment.
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But to start off. Let's read a passage from James
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chapter chapter 3. And let's look at verses 3
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through 12 as James explains to us, how powerful, how dangerous,
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and how strong our words can be James chapter 3.
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Let's read together versus 3 and following behold, we put B in
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the horses mouths that they may obey us and we turn about their
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whole body behold. Also the ships which through
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that I'm sorry, which though, they be so great and are driven
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of fierce winds yet or they turned about with a very small
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Helm whithersoever the governor listed even.
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So the tongue is a little member and boasted great things.
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Behold how great a matter of little fire Kindle it and the
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tongue is a fire. A world of iniquity.
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So is the tongue among our members that it defile it the
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whole body and setteth on fire. The course of Nature and it is
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set on fire of hell, for every kind of beasts and of birds and
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of serpents and have things in the sea is tamed and hath been
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tamed of mankind, but the tongue can no man tame.
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It is an unruly evil full of deadly poison there with
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blessed. We God Even the father and there
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with curse, We Men which are made after the similitude of God
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out of the same mouth proceeds, blessing and cursing, my
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brethren. These things ought not to be so
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that's a fountain. Send forth at the same place,
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Sweet Water and bitter. Can the Fig Tree my brethren
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bear Olive berries, either a Vine figs.
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So can no Fountain both yield salt water and fresh.
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This is an eye-opening passage for us as we think about how
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powerful our words and our speech can be.
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And I think it's important for us from time to time to take
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God's word and look at the scriptures and remind ourselves
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of maybe some changes that we need to make in our own lives
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concerning, how we deal with each other with the things that
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we say. So that's that's the direction
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that we're going that. I want us to take a look at in
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the coming weeks will We'll talk a little bit about, we'll talk
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about honesty will talk about compassion will talk about
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knowing when to speak not to speak, will talk about rumors
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and gossip and backbiting. These are all things that are
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done with our speech. So what is criticism, if you
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want a definition of criticism, the boring thing to do, but
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criticism is to consider the merits and demerits of, and
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judge accordingly to find fault with two point.
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Out the faults of an individual or something.
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This is something that we do every day probably in our normal
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lives. It criticisms are everywhere.
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We as parents, we criticize our children, you know, when they,
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when they do something wrong. We let them know.
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They've done something wrong and they've made a mistake and they
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need to correct it and to fix it.
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That's a criticism. We do it as an employer, with
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our employees, our employees, make some mistakes.
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They do some things wrong, and they have to be Erected and
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sometimes even reprimanded. Just, as a parent does a child.
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Those are criticisms. We do it with our friends.
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Sometimes, we criticize our friends, because it's fun, you
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know, we, you know, poke poke fun at them.
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We do a little jab here and there sometimes we criticize our
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friends because they actually need it.
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We're their friends, you know, we love them and therefore we
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criticize we as Christians criticize.
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That's a lot of what a preacher does when he gets up In a
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Pulpit. Is he does a A bit of
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criticizing telling us things that we need to change in our
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lives. That's exactly what I'll be
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doing up here. This morning is instructing us
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on some changes that we need to make.
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That's that is criticism and if we're all honest with ourselves,
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we would probably all come to the same conclusion that we
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really don't like being criticized.
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It's not, it's not the most enjoyable thing to experience
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when you've done something you shouldn't have or there's
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something you could have done better in some one comes to you
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and tells you hey Bub. No.
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Yes, this this is yes, and that was no, it's not a fun feeling.
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We don't, we don't really enjoy it.
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If someone criticizes us that means perhaps in our own mind
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that they have found or think they have found some fault
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within us. And when we realize or think or
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are told that we have a fault, that's not a good feeling.
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We don't Don't want to be at fault.
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We want to be right? We want to be good.
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We want to be talented. We want to be exceptional.
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We want to be accepted. But when people criticize us we
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feel that a fault has been found within us.
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None of us like to admit that we have faults.
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We don't want to admit that. However, regardless of whether
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we like it or not, at some point in our lives, were all going to
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face criticism some day. And also at some point, there's
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going to arise a need for us to be the person who hands out the
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criticisms. And let me go ahead and tell
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you. That's probably a little easier
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to give out the criticisms then to receive the criticisms.
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Let's just think about that for a moment.
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Is it easier to accept that you are wrong and do some difficulty
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in making some changes to be in the right?
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Is that easier or is it easier to find a fault with someone
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else that you've just come to the conclusion that they need to
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make a change and just a hey buddy.
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You need to make some changes. Here's what you need to do.
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That's definitely easier. That's a whole lot easier to do
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than to take the criticism. But what I want to do this
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morning is we're going to talk a little bit about how we can give
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the right kind of criticism and how we can be a kind of person
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who takes criticism in a little bit of a better way.
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And that's where we find ourselves in Acts 18, looking at
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the the interaction that Aquila and Priscilla have with a
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Polish, you know, it's funny as you've probably read this
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passage many times before and you may not have like I have not
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have until I was prepping for this had, not really considered
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this interaction how something so small.
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And so minut can give us a little bit of information as to
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how we can be a better giver and taker concerning criticism.
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So the long and short of this passage is Dean read for us.
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So well, a moment ago. You have a certain Jew named
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Apollo's. He's from Alexandria.
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He's he's an eloquent man. He's Mighty in the scriptures.
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He is fervent in in the spirit. And he began to teach accurately
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the things of the Lord. But there's one problem.
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He only knew the baptism of John.
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He did not know the baptism, which we are baptized by today,
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where we are, baptized in the name of the Father, the Son, and
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the Holy Spirit. We repent of our sins and were
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immersed in water. Our sins are washed away and we
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confess the crisis or Lord. He wasn't.
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He was a little mixed up and he only knew the baptism of John
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and so here comes Aquila and Priscilla.
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In verse 26 says a pollicis speaking boldly in the
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synagogue. He thought he had everything
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figured out so he's boldly boldly teaching in the
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synagogue. But when Aquila and Priscilla,
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they hear him notice what they do, they take him aside, maybe
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Circle that in your Bibles and explained Circle that as well.
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Maybe they explained to him the way of God and then maybe sir.
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For these two words more accurately, depending on what
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version you're reading from. They explained to him the word
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of God, more accurately. There's some things that I think
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that we can draw out from just these.
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These three simple things that we have noticed that Aquila and
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Priscilla did for Apollo stay, they took him aside, they
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explained to him the way of God more accurately.
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What can we as Christians today? Gain from this?
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Well, there's two things. I think that we see right off
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the bat when they came Into in essence, what they've done is,
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they're criticizing him, because he's teaching something that he
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shouldn't be teaching and there's something he should be
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teaching that he's not. And so, what they have done is
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in essence. They've given him a criticism.
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Well, how did they do it? The first thing that I think we,
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as Christians need to do when we're considering to give out
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some criticism for someone who may be in need of it is to do it
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with the right attitude. Number one, and number two is
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we'll talk about in just a want to do it in the right way.
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That may sound real broad will begin to explain this a little
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bit, a little bit better. But but if you're going to, if
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you're going to criticize someone, you're doing it because
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you think they're doing something wrong, and there's
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something that you think they ought to be doing right?
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Or in a better way. And so, when you come to speak
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to this individual, you got to have the proper attitude if you
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want any results at all, and you're also going to have to
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talk to them in the right way. Have you ever Anyone who's come
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to give you some criticism and they did not have the right
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attitude when they came to talk to you about it.
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How effective was that? Not very effective was it?
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Or has someone ever come to you and maybe they had the right
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attitude, but they weren't real good in the approach.
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And so they didn't really come to talk to you in the right way.
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And the the needed effect, the effect that they were going for
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didn't work out. Like they had hoped, maybe
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you're thinking about yourself. That's often where I end up.
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I go to someone to talk to them about a little criticism, and
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I've got this plan in my head. You know, I have a, have a good
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attitude. I feel like, you know, I love
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the individual and then I started talking to them.
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And I've been jumbled, all my words up and end up hurting
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feelings as I didn't, you know, I didn't mean it that way.
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You know, that's that's something very common and very
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simple that can happen to each and every one of us look with me
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in your bibles. If you would to Ephesians
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chapter 4, when he'd remembered the purpose as to why we're
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wanting to bring a criticism to someone.
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Now, listen through this lesson. I suppose you can take it.
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One of two ways. You can you can take the the
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advice that I'm going to be giving you this morning as when
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you criticize anyone for anything just out in I suppose
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this would be quite beneficial to you in that respect.
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But you can also consider it when you're going to talk to
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someone about a spiritual matter.
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And that's probably the meat of what we're going to be dealing
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with here. But I think some of the
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principles here would really just apply in everyday life.
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So take that for what it is, in Ephesians chapter 4.
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Real small verse here, in verse 29, Paul writing to the church
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at Ephesus said, let no corrupt communication proceed out.
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Out of your mouth. But okay.
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So what kind of communication what kind of speech he says,
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don't let the speech coming out of your mouth.
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Be the corrupt kind, but this is the kind that I want coming out
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of your mouth that which is good to the use of edifying.
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That is good for the use of of uplifting is what the word
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edified means that it may Minister Grace unto the hearers.
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When you go to talk to someone about a change that they need to
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make in their life. A spiritual change perhaps that
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they need to make in their life. When you go to talk to that
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person. What you need to do is is is you
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need to talk to them in a way that is good for edifying, and
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that is going to minister Grace unto them.
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You need to deal with them, like a brother in Christ.
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You need to deal with them in love, especially if you're
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wanting the the outcome that you're looking for.
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If you come to them with anger and with hate, I was talking me
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and Barrett was driving. Here yesterday and I was kind of
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trying to bounce my sermon ideas off off of him to see what he
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might give me. And I was talking to him a
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little bit about how when you go to speak to someone and you're
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needing them to make a change. If you come with anger and hate
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and hostility. You're not going to get the
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outcome that you're looking for. I had a gentleman years ago who
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taught me this phrase you catch more flies with honey than you
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do with vinegar that has that has resonated with me all these
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years. Years, that's saying that.
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Simply be sweet, be nice, be kind brother.
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And some of you struggle with that.
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Some of me, some of you have a different personality than other
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folks in the congregation. Some of you, you're just the
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sweetest wouldn't hurt a fly, a kindness Meek talking, humble
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individual. It's just the way God brought
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you into this world and that's not one of your struggles, but
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some of us, some of us struggle with talking to others with
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hostility, and with anger. With unkindness, I want us to be
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the kind of person who talks to an individual with the right
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kind of attitude. And we do that by focusing on
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what our purpose is. When we talk to someone.
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Why do I feel the need to give them a criticism?
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What is the purpose behind it? I'm here to help.
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Draw them closer to God. So that that ultimately, they're
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going to be one found safe in the arms of God.
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Someone who leaves this life walking in the light.
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That is my purpose. Is what I'm coming to say.
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Is it going to be a constructive criticism?
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Or is it just going to be a criticism?
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Someone long ago, told me it probably was my mama when I was
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little, if you don't have anything good to say we won't
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finish it. Don't say anything at all.
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I've changed that in my older age.
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If you don't have anything good to say, shut yo mouth. that's
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that's what I changed it to, it feels a little more hostile, you
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know, drives that point home, but I did hear someone
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explaining criticisms and constructive criticisms along
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time ago, and they were talking about when you come to someone
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to give them the criticism. If you don't have a solution to
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the problem, what good are you doing?
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Does that make sense? If you come to them and say,
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there's something you're doing wrong, but you're not going to
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tell them what they need to do, right?
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You're not offering any solutions, you really not
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bringing anything new or good or productive to the table.
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So, consider that, when you go to give a criticism, is it
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constructive thirdly? Ask yourself this question.
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Would I want to hear this if I were in their shoes, or maybe
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you could change it up a little bit and say, what I want to hear
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it like this if I were in their shoes.
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Matthew chapter 7 in The Sermon on the Mount.
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Jesus says in verse 12, therefore whatever you want men
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to do to, you do also to them for this is the law and the
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prophets, you know, it it really does make you take a second.
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Look at the words that you're preparing to give to someone
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especially if it's going to be a criticism.
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When you begin to think, is this what I would want to hear, if I
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were in their position, is this, how I would want it worded if I
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were in their position? Now for those of us who are
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following Jesus, This Christ, we're walking the wall.
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We're walking in the light. Right.
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Now, we perhaps have a level head about us thinking that I
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want to spend an eternity in heaven with the Lord and with my
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brothers and sisters in Christ. And yes, if I was living a life
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of sin, I would want someone to come to me and bring me back.
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Y'all heard me say that. Before that if I ever fall away,
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I expect every single one of you to come knock on my door.
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Send me a text, write me a letter, come by and visit me.
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And encouraged me to repent. Change my life.
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Get right? Come back to the Lord.
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So when we think about, when we think about the need to go and
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help encourage someone to change their life, think about, is
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this? What I would want to hear?
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Is this what I would need put yourself in their shoes, do it
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with the right attitude. And that's how you, that's how
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you criticize someone with the right attitude.
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You think about the purpose? You think about the constructive
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criticism. You think about being in their
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place? But not only do you need to do
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it with the right attitude. You're also going to have to do
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it in the right way when we offer criticisms to people.
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I think there are some things that we can do to maybe
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eliminate some of the backlash that often is inevitable with
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criticizing someone. The first one we find here in
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Acts chapter 18 when Aquila and Priscilla heard Apollo's boldly.
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Speaking in the synagogue's. They didn't blurt it out.
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Hey Bob by down a policy. That is not correct.
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That's not what they did. I'll tell you one of the most
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embarrassing things as a preacher, or a Bible class
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teacher that you can experience is someone in the middle of your
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sermon or in the middle of your Bible, class refuting what you
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have said and more often than not, especially the me.
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It's not something that I'm just up here.
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Preaching some false Doctrine, it is I have misspoken or
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uneducated Lee given you some erroneous.
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Deus information accidentally. And for someone to speak up in
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the crowd. It's really embarrassing and it
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immediately puts you on the defensive.
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What they did to a policy is the Bible.
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I don't think it's any accident that the Holy Spirit divinely
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inspired, Luke to write it down this way.
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I think it's there for us to notice that they took him aside.
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They took him aside. They did it privately.
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You might say. Then they explained to him more
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accurately, the word and the will of God.
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Do you think that you're going to get a better reaction out of
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someone? If you chastise them, or
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criticize them in front of the whole church, or if you do, it
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privately, surely y'all think like I do that?
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You're going to get a better response out of an individual
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doing it in private. If the occasion calls for that.
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When someone is confronted in front of other people that
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individual often feels the need to stubbornly defend themselves,
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even if they know they're wrong, just simply from Prides sake.
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They're just going to stand their ground.
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Otherwise, they'll look like a fool or at least they think they
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think within themselves. If I backtrack now, I'll look
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foolish and stupid. So I'm going to Stand My Ground,
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I'm going to die on this hill even though they've already come
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to the conclusion that this individual gave some really good
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information. Mason and facts and evidence and
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I know I'm wrong, but I just can't back down.
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Some people have that personality.
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No. The no one will move me.
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Once I've said this is how it's going to be.
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But taking a policy side Aquila and Priscilla were able to talk
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to him in a much more effective way.
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Do you think that you're going to do a good job speaking up in
24:20
front of a bunch of other people criticizing?
24:23
Someone? What I mean is, let's take the
24:24
person being criticized out of the equation.
24:26
Do you think that you can do a good job publicly speaking up in
24:30
front of a lot of people whilst criticizing someone and giving
24:34
them the information that you think that they need to change.
24:38
I'll tell you right now, if I had to do that.
24:40
Look, I'm up here in a Pulpit preaching.
24:41
All you, and I struggle with it right now.
24:44
You, can you imagine how difficult it is for someone to
24:47
criticize another in front of an audience.
24:50
That's a difficult thing to do. But that's one of the reasons
24:53
that I believe a public debate is one of the most difficult
24:56
things. A public speaker can do.
25:00
So if you want to be a more effective in getting your point
25:04
across to the person needing the criticism, try it in a more
25:09
private setting. Take the person aside is doing
25:17
it in the right way. A second thing that you can do
25:19
to do it. The right way is when you begin
25:21
talking to the individual on a more private setting, what you
25:25
might try doing is starting off by pointing out some of the good
25:29
before you move on into the bad. I'll tell you what.
25:33
My Father, John rice is notorious for his famous talks,
25:37
or anyone who ever grew up, going to church camp with my
25:40
dad. If you ever got in trouble, you
25:43
remember the John's talks, don't you Paul?
25:45
He take you around, you know, you take his arm around you and
25:49
he Pat you on the back and most times if you were in trouble,
25:53
his little speech was a little, you know, you to our speech
25:56
would start off with brother. I love you.
26:00
And then he'd go right on into some things that you needed to
26:02
hear that goes back to that. Catching more flies with honey
26:05
than with vinegar. Try noticing the good before
26:09
you. Notice the bad.
26:10
Let me tell you right now. Some of the reasons that there
26:13
are so many critics and criticizers in the world today
26:17
is they're looking for something to criticize.
26:20
They're looking for the - they're looking for the bad and
26:24
that makes it difficult to find any good in anybody.
26:28
So if maybe you're sitting in the audience thinking this is
26:30
one of my struggles. I'm always criticizing people
26:34
start looking for the good in others.
26:40
Paul did this in Acts chapter 17 and verse 22.
26:42
When Paul stood up to begin preaching a lesson.
26:45
He started it by saying men of Athens.
26:47
I perceive that in all things. You are very religious.
26:52
That's actually, I guess to the people who are listening, that's
26:55
kind of a compliment and that that didn't shut them down,
26:58
right at the beginning to not hear the rest of what he had to
27:01
say, Jesus did, if you go to Romans, Romans Revelation with
27:05
me real quick. Revelation chapter 2.
27:12
Jesus, did it when he talked to the church at Ephesus in verses
27:15
2 & 3, I Know Thy works and thy Labour, and thy patience.
27:21
And how thou canst, not bear them, which are evil, that thou,
27:25
that thou Hast, tried them, which say, they are Apostles,
27:28
and are not and Hast found them. Liars and has borne and Hast
27:32
patience, and for my name's sake Hast, laboured and Hast, not
27:36
fainted. And then verse 4.
27:38
Nevertheless. I have somewhat.
27:41
Against you, he did it with the church in pergamos.
27:43
Go down to verse 13, middle of verse 13.
27:49
And now holdest fast my name and Hast, not denied, my faith.
27:52
Even in those days, wherein Antipas was my faithful martyr
27:55
who was slain among you where Satan dwelleth verse 14, but I
28:00
have a few things against you, he did it again.
28:03
A few verses later down in verse 19.
28:05
When he talked to the church at thyatira.
28:07
Verse 19 says I Know Thy works and your love and service and
28:11
faith and patience and your works.
28:15
And the last to be more than the first not with Ending have a few
28:19
things against you, you know, in every one of these examples, the
28:22
Lord himself started off looking for the good pointing out, the
28:26
good reminding them of the good that they were doing and then
28:29
went into the changes that needed to be made.
28:31
I can tell you right now. Let me go ahead.
28:32
If you ever need to give me some constructive criticism, a
28:35
compliment. First goes a long way for me to
28:39
be more receptive towards the criticism.
28:42
I think we could all probably agree that that would be the
28:44
case with every single one of us to do it the right way to
28:47
criticize in the Right Way. First, you need to take the
28:50
person aside look for the good, not just the bad and thirdly do
28:55
it with sorrow and not Joy. So many people, they love to be
29:02
right? That's one of my pet peeves.
29:06
Somebody, you know, that's a sign of a lack of humility.
29:09
A sign of an abundance of Pride, someone who always wants to be
29:14
right. They just love it.
29:15
Just love to be right all All the time.
29:21
They are the kind of people who enjoy criticizing others.
29:24
You know, what it does. It makes the person that they're
29:26
criticizing be less than them because they're in the wrong and
29:29
I was able to point it out. I was able to find your fault.
29:32
Therefore. I'm more educated and More in
29:34
tune with, with life, with the word with wisdom.
29:38
Because I'm able to let you know, something that you need to
29:41
change in your life. We don't need to go to someone
29:45
to criticize them with joy and excitement, especially when
29:49
they're living a life of sin. We need to come to them with
29:52
tears and with sorrow and with humility as Paul did in 2nd
29:57
Corinthians chapter 2 verses 3 through four in these verses in
30:01
verses 3 and 4 of second Corinthians chapter 2.
30:04
He's talking a little bit about the first letter that he had
30:07
written to them. And you remember that first
30:09
letter, he wrote to Corinth how it was full of Corrections that
30:13
need To be made because there was sin in their midst and here
30:16
in verses 3 and 4. He says, I wrote this very thing
30:19
to you lest, when I come I should have sorrow over Those
30:24
whom I ought to have joy having confidence in you all that.
30:28
My joy is the joy of you all. Now, notice verse 44, out of
30:33
much Affliction and anguish of heart.
30:38
I wrote to you with many tears that you should be grieved.
30:44
But that you might know. I'm sorry.
30:47
I misspoke there, not that you should be grieved, but that you
30:51
might know the love, which I have so abundantly for you.
30:56
Did you did you hear these beautiful words?
30:57
That Paul just wrote Paul said, I didn't write to you to
31:01
criticize you a name. All the corrections that you
31:03
made with a haughty Spirit excited about making you be less
31:08
than me by telling you, you should be living like me.
31:11
No. Paul said, I wrote to you with a
31:14
flick. Action and anguish of heart with
31:17
many tears. And then he even says why that
31:21
you might know the love, which I have.
31:23
So abundantly for you. When you go to someone living in
31:27
sin, you encourage them to repent of that sin.
31:30
You love that person. You love them.
31:33
Why else would you do it? If you're doing it out of a
31:37
haughty Spirit, you're obviously not doing it for the right
31:39
reason. Paul says, do it out of love.
31:42
When you go to correct someone or to criticize them.
31:45
Do it with sorrow and tears. Not with joy.
31:51
All right. That's the easy part.
31:53
That's the easy part. The easy part is me talking to
31:56
you about meeting out. The criticisms, the taking, the
32:01
criticism is a little bit more difficult, you know, we all deal
32:05
with criticisms in very very different ways.
32:08
We're going to respond to it in in varying degrees of emotions.
32:12
I suppose some people experience criticism with anger.
32:17
That's how they're going to deal with it.
32:19
They become angry. This is usually the first
32:22
reaction that Most people experience is anger.
32:25
They don't stop to think they react their first thought.
32:30
That's what they go with. Instead of taking a second.
32:33
Look anger. Usually comes about again, as
32:36
we've already mentioned from from Pride.
32:38
We feel insulted, when we are criticized and so many people
32:43
deal with criticisms with anger. Some people the way they deal
32:47
with criticism as they begin to feel sorry for themselves.
32:51
They feel shame or self-pity? They begin to withdraw.
32:57
They begin to think very, very deeply about how they're an
33:01
awful person. They're, they're no good.
33:04
They can't do anything. Right.
33:06
And I might add that, that's probably why we should be a
33:08
little more relaxed on the criticisms that were handing
33:13
out, maybe not bombard people with all the criticisms that we
33:16
can come up with because you can really beat someone down,
33:19
especially someone who the They do with the criticisms is they
33:22
Retreat within themselves into self-pity and shame?
33:28
Some, some people like this, they're going to they're going
33:31
to view criticism as a personal attack on on there.
33:35
They're being as to who they are.
33:37
Rather than using the criticism to better themselves.
33:40
They throw maybe a pity party. Maybe that's how they respond.
33:45
So maybe it's anger. Maybe it's self-pity.
33:48
A third one is is often. We're going to shift the blame
33:51
immediately from the get-go. We see this in kids.
33:55
Okay. We also saw an Adam and Eve.
33:58
Hey Adam, what do you do with that fruit?
34:00
Eve gave it to me, your shift the blame real real quick kids,
34:05
do it all the time, especially if you just watch them.
34:09
They're going to instead of accepting the criticism.
34:11
They're going to criticize the critic.
34:13
That's another way to shift the blame.
34:15
Why are you always so loud? You're always so loud.
34:18
You know, you're the loudest all the time.
34:20
The you're the loudest. That's how kids do and sadly.
34:23
Sometimes as adults. We react in the exact same way.
34:27
Maybe we don't do this. Silly voices, although I like to
34:29
do the silly voices. It's fun.
34:32
Sometimes, we just instead of accepting the criticism or
34:35
examining or thinking about the criticism.
34:38
We quickly shift, the blame criticized, the critic so that
34:42
we don't have to take reflection on our own selves.
34:49
Some people, when they are criticized, they become blind to
34:54
their own selves. They have a hardened heart.
34:57
They they can't even hear the criticism because they don't
35:03
even believe it to be. So they're in complete denial
35:05
about whatever it is that they're doing that.
35:09
The criticism just goes in one ear and out the other.
35:12
Or maybe just bounced right off. It doesn't even affect them
35:14
because they are Hard Hearted people.
35:19
Often make excuses in order to file in order to justify
35:23
themselves, they'll brush off the criticism, simply because
35:27
they do not care, you know, Jesus, dealt with people like
35:30
this in his day. Matthew writes about this, in
35:34
Matthew 13, and verse 15, where Jesus says, for the hearts of
35:38
this people. They have grown dull, their ears
35:42
are hard of hearing and their eyes, they have closed lest.
35:45
They should see with their eyes and hear with their ears lest.
35:48
They should. Stand with their hearts and turn
35:51
so that I should heal them. Jesus said, I that I've
35:54
experienced. He's saying, I've experienced
35:56
those people who took criticisms with.
35:59
I don't hear what you're saying. Just hard-hearted.
36:04
How should we take criticism? We should receive it gracefully.
36:10
We should receive it gracefully in Acts 18.
36:13
As we read a moment ago, verses 24 through 26.
36:16
We see that Aquila and Priscilla, they talked to Palace
36:19
privately, they explained the word of God to him in a more
36:22
accurate way and then you get two verses 26 and following that
36:27
he went on to another place. He went across to aquella.
36:31
A letter was written to a k exhorting, the disciples to
36:35
receive a policy. When he had arrived there in
36:38
aquella. He greatly helped those who had
36:42
believed through Grace for he vigorously.
36:45
Refuted the Jews publicly showing from the scriptures that
36:48
Jesus. Jesus is the Christ.
36:50
What was a policies response to Aquila and Priscilla has
36:54
criticism. Well, guess I'm not a good
36:57
Minister. I quit.
37:00
I better. Just go back to building tensor
37:01
fishing. That's not what he did.
37:05
He didn't he didn't turn to them and say, well feeling for silly.
37:08
You know, y'all are very good speakers either, you know, not
37:13
very charismatic. Know what he did was he accepted
37:18
the criticism gracefully, he made the necessary changes and
37:22
he kept doing his job. And that's what God expects of
37:26
us when we're in sin. And we're asked to repent as a
37:30
follower of Christ. We make the change and we keep
37:34
doing the job of living the faithful Christian Life.
37:38
Don't get angry. Don't feel sorry for yourself.
37:40
Don't criticize the critic or shift.
37:42
The blame. Don't brush it off.
37:44
Don't be hard-hearted. If the criticism is valid
37:48
swallow your pride and examine that criticism to improve
37:53
yourself, now, I should say this.
37:56
We're coming, we're getting close to the end, the brace
37:58
yourself. I should say this, if the
38:02
criticism is valid examine it. And make the changes.
38:10
But you do know that you're going to receive a lot of
38:12
criticisms in life that have no merit.
38:16
They're completely baseless there from people who don't care
38:19
about you. And so, what do you have to do?
38:22
Well, you got to examine the criticism, think about it for a
38:25
moment and maybe if it's unfounded maybe especially if
38:30
it's someone you love and care about maybe if the criticism
38:33
they have given you as unfounded find a time to go and talk
38:36
privately with them. Maybe maybe explain.
38:40
Help and help them to understand the situation a little more
38:42
accurately that might be something that you can do.
38:44
But I caution you a caution you to understand that that life is
38:48
short. And to go around, always having
38:52
to explain and explain, and explain yourself to people who
38:56
don't really care about. You.
38:58
Don't really have their your best interest in mind or at
39:00
heart. You're just wasting your breath.
39:04
Now how do you know the difference that's really hard to
39:07
do. You see Jesus was the master at
39:11
giving and receiving criticism. We're going to skip some of my
39:15
lesson here. I'm going to give you the high
39:16
points here towards the end. Jesus being that Master, he was
39:20
as the Hebrew writer says in Hebrews chapter 4 and verse 14.
39:23
He was in all points tempted. Like, as we are yet without sin
39:28
was Jesus ever criticized. You bet.
39:31
He was criticized by his enemies.
39:33
He was By his friends, Matthew 26 8 through 9.
39:36
He was criticized by his own flesh and blood family.
39:40
John 7 3 through 5, he was criticized by people who let's
39:45
call them dumb people not people who couldn't speak but people
39:50
who had no business trying to give any kind of intellectual
39:53
advice. You can read some of that in
39:55
John 7, 41 to 42. He was criticized by people who
39:59
should have known better. People who are educated people
40:03
who had been with him. People who are had been
40:05
Faithfully following him and should have known better.
40:08
You know, that happens in the church.
40:10
Someone comes to us with some criticism that we don't deserve
40:13
and they should have known better.
40:15
You ever felt like that, you know, you see somebody in the
40:16
church acting us in a way, you think, man, I should have known
40:19
better. Jesus dealt with that to John 9
40:21
verses 28 and following sometimes this is how Jesus
40:25
handled it. Okay, and we're going to, we're
40:26
going to wrap things up. Sometimes.
40:27
Jesus handle the criticism by giving out truth.
40:33
He told people exactly what was true.
40:37
And right. That was how Jesus sometimes
40:39
handled criticisms and that goes back to what I was saying.
40:41
If someone's giving you a criticism and it's unfounded the
40:45
way that you might need to deal with, it is go and talk to them
40:47
and tell them the absolute truth.
40:50
But you know, the second way, Jesus often deal with
40:52
criticisms. In say anything.
40:59
Matthew chapter 26 62 through 64.
41:01
You see that in there, the night of Jesus, crucifixion in
41:05
particular, when asked questions Jesus remained silent on many of
41:10
those questions as it wasn't going to serve any purpose to to
41:13
answer those questions. Solomon writes in Proverbs 26
41:19
verses 4 and 5 which sound like a contradiction.
41:22
You might want to go in your Bibles to this one and circle.
41:24
This is a great passage, but verse 4 begins with and verse 5
41:29
begins with, do not answer a fool according to his folly.
41:33
Lest. You also be like him.
41:34
Verse 5 says, answer a fool, according to his folly.
41:38
Lest. He be wise in his own eyes and
41:40
almost sounds like a contradiction.
41:41
Wait, verse 4 says, says don't answer a fool and verse 5 says,
41:45
answer a fool. Cool.
41:46
Well, this is some Old Testament parallelism.
41:49
It was something that was common in the Book of Proverbs.
41:51
And what you have is these are two things building upon one
41:53
another. But let me sum it up like this.
41:55
Sometimes there's a need to not answer a fool.
41:59
You're just wasting your breath. Doesn't do any good.
42:02
It just makes them dumber and dumber and dumber, but then
42:05
there's a time where a fool needs to be answered.
42:08
He needs to be corrected. He needs to be reprimanded.
42:11
He needs to be criticized. Now, the great thing that Jesus
42:14
had going for him. He knew the heart of man into
42:18
the heart of, man. He knew when to give the
42:20
criticized by the criticism. He certainly knew how to take
42:23
the criticism. But he knew how to give the
42:25
criticism. Sometimes he give it.
42:27
Sometimes, he'd keep his mouth. Shut.
42:28
We don't have that luxury of knowing man's Hearts.
42:32
We're not able to do that. Maybe we can examine the critic
42:36
and decide whether or not they require a little bit of time to
42:39
give an explanation sometimes, an answer to the critical be
42:43
needed. Sometimes not.
42:47
What we're going to have to do is is we're gonna have to
42:49
realize that our example as a Christian and how I give and how
42:53
I take criticisms. They're going to have a an
42:56
enormous effect on other people. When people look at me as a as a
43:01
follower of Jesus Christ and they see how I give criticism.
43:05
They see how I accept criticism. It affects them.
43:10
I have an influence on others, by the way that I do those two
43:13
things. Many times we can we can win an
43:18
argument but we lose a soul because we feel like we have to
43:23
be right. I'll close out with this final
43:25
story. This is a an old wolf.
43:28
It's a proverb or just some story.
43:31
But a teacher seeing some difficulties that were going on
43:34
with her class in an attempt to try and teach them a valuable
43:38
lesson. She went to the board at the
43:39
front of the classroom. She began writer times tables.
43:42
She wrote nine times, 1 equals 9.
43:45
Nine times two equals 18 so on and so forth.
43:49
All the way down to 9 times 10 equals 89.
43:55
Cancer is 90, but she wrote 89 and I know some of us, our
44:00
struggle is math. So she wrote 89 and she begins
44:03
to here snickering and laughing behind her.
44:05
She turns around to face the class.
44:07
She sees that kids are just giggling and pointing.
44:10
And she goes what? What's wrong bunch of kids
44:13
raised their hand? Because they know what's going
44:15
on here? And she calls on one of the
44:17
students and she goes what's wrong.
44:18
He goes, you got it wrong. That's that's not the answer.
44:22
It's 90 90. And as soon as this the students
44:28
at back down from answering the question, the teacher began to
44:31
explain that she had done this to try and teach them a very
44:34
valuable lesson. You see in life, the world
44:37
treats us just like the students treated that teacher, they see
44:42
us nine times in a row, get the answer, right?
44:45
Do the right thing. They see that, but there's no
44:49
applause. There's no gratitude.
44:51
There's no thankfulness. There's no bragging.
44:54
What they do see, is that 1 out of 10, times that you've made
44:58
the mistake, and they quickly point that out and they Giggle
45:02
and they Snicker. And they laugh.
45:05
Most people don't notice the thousands of times of good
45:08
things that we do, but they do notice the one mistake.
45:12
No, one is perfect. All of us, make mistakes.
45:16
And sometimes, after getting nine things in a row, right?
45:20
Perhaps we still do need a little bit of correction on that
45:24
one. Thing we got wrong.
45:28
Are there any of us here this morning?
45:29
Who need to make some corrections in our own lives.
45:32
We want to extend the Lord's, invitation to you.
45:34
You've heard some of God's word preached to you this morning.
45:36
Won't you believe it? Once you believe that Jesus
45:38
Christ is the Son of God. Maybe you have some sins in your
45:41
life. You want to be forgiven of those
45:43
sins. Once you repent of them confess
45:46
that Christ is Lord, and if you're not already a child of
45:48
God, we have a baptistery prepared.
45:50
This morning. We can ban baptize you into
45:52
Jesus Christ. Your sins can be washed away.
45:55
Maybe you already are Christian. You already are a child of God,
45:58
but you need to make some corrections in your own life.
46:00
What you please come right now while we stand in the same mom.