Latest / WOMEN MAJORING IN MARRIAGE / EPISODE #32 WHEN GOD SEND YOUR BOAZ ... BE READY!

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EPISODE #32 WHEN GOD SEND YOUR BOAZ ... BE READY! · WOMEN MAJORING IN MARRIAGE

0:02
Welcome to the Women Majoring in Marriage podcast with your host,
0:06
Janice L Vance. Girl If you are a married woman
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that desires not just to have a surviving marriage, you know,
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the kind that's just on cruise control but actually want a
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thriving marriage, you are in the right place.
0:21
If you are engaged, this show can inspire you to prepare for
0:24
your marriage before preparing for that expensive wedding day.
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Ho and all my Single Ladies out there that are in their season
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of waiting on God to send your husband.
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We've got something for you as well, girl.
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Marriage is not hard, but it certainly is work.
0:38
So relax, get your pen and paper, and let us major in
0:42
marriage. Well, hello to all of my Queens,
0:47
and welcome to the Women Majoring in Marriage podcast
0:51
with yours truly, Janice Vance. I want to thank you Queens, for
0:56
continuing to rock with me. I say that on all of my episode
1:01
because you do not have to listen to these podcasts, but I
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see my numbers are increasing and that's what it's all about.
1:08
It's not about me. It's about getting the message
1:12
out. This is the Women majoring in
1:15
Marriage podcast. So it's majoring for those that
1:19
are already in the marriage. It's majoring for those that are
1:23
engaged. And is majoring for those that
1:27
are in the seasonal waiting. So when I choose a guest, which
1:32
I always see God as to who he will have me to interview, and I
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know without a shadow of doubt that when I do interview that
1:44
person, that somebody is going to be blessed.
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Somebody is going to receive something.
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From this, and if you're listening to the interview and
1:53
you said, well, none of this is for me, I'm listening to it, I
1:56
don't want to be married and never been married or I've been
1:58
married, don't want to be married before.
2:00
Share this podcast because there is somebody that would be
2:05
blessed with this podcast. And today I am so, I am so
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excited. I am so excited to introduce my
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guest, my guest to you, My guest.
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Her name is Catherine N she resides in Georgia.
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Catherine and I are no stranger. We go way back, way back.
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We haven't seen each other in years and years.
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But thank God the Facebook. We get to see each other on
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Facebook. But and then on this call, the
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first time we, I feel like we close.
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Now we see each other on on on on this interview, but we go way
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back, way back. Beautiful person.
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Beautiful person. Kathy has been married for over
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26 years to Daniel. She recently retired from
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corporate America. That's that sound real good.
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When I hear somebody say they retired because I've been
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retired and don't regret it, she's the author.
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Ladies, listen to the She's the author of six books.
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She's an ordained minister. She's the mother of three.
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Grown. I love this.
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Grown and gone to now. That's why I call living your
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best life. She has two grandchildren and
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one great granddaughter. Ladies, I want to present to you
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Catherine Noah in her own way. I told her to relax.
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It's just like she and I just sitting on the sofa talking.
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And she's going to tell her story.
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And it is so befitting the IT is so befitting for this podcast
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because the name of this particular episode is when God
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sends you your bow ass. Be ready.
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That's the topic that she chose. And I can't wait for you all to
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hear her story. And Kathy?
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It's all in your hands. Just have your way.
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All right. Well, first of all, I want to
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say thank you so much, Janice, for inviting me to be able to
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share my testimony. And that's what I call it, my
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testimony with you and with all of your listeners.
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I want to say you were saying, yeah, we we go back way back,
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but we also have. A miracle story too that I'm
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just going to share real briefly.
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There was a time in the past when I actually had to have a
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blood transfusion, and I remember that you were one of
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the ones that gave the blood, and the blood that you gave I
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believe was supernatural because at that time I needed 8 pints
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and after you gave the blood I had only received 3 pints.
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It went up to the numbers where that I could have that surgery.
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So we're more than just friends. We're more than just sisters.
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We are blood sisters. Yes.
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So I wanted to share that. And I I didn't want you to think
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that I ever forgot that gift of love.
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You're more than welcome. More than welcome.
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And so just really just quickly going into.
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The situation with my husband and before I met him, I had just
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really engrossed myself in working for the church.
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I was doing meetings for women weekly.
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I was working in the church. I was assistant pastor of a
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church, and I actually was doing the work.
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But I hadn't been ordained yet. So December of 1996, my pastor
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said, you know what? God has spoken to me.
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And he said to go ahead and ordain you into this position.
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And I was like, wow, that's great.
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I was so excited because I wasn't really while working for
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the Lord, you're not looking for that type of elevation.
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I was just being busy about my father's business.
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Well. We went, we had the ordination
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and they laid hands on me. There were different bishops
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from the different places and and this was December 1996, and
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I'll not forget when my pastor laid hands on me, he said, God
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is getting ready to send you your soul mate and it's going to
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come quickly. And I was in prayer and trying
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to be deep and everything and look at what my Where did that
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come from? And it was so it was so funny to
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me. I I just took it.
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And like Mary, I just pondered in my heart and I went on about
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my business doing what God was had to call me to do.
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Well just gosh, maybe a month later.
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I remember because we had been out of work, I was working for
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the state and we have been out of work for January 1st.
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So we came back on January 2nd. I had a brand new computer turn
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the computer on to do my work because, you know, during the
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holidays work piles up because you have a lot of days off and
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all of that. And people are in the holiday
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mode so they're not really doing all the work they should.
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But at any rate, I turned on my computer and it won't come on.
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I'm like, this is a brand new computer, so I turned it off to
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turn it back on. I said, well, maybe somebody
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unplugged it, so I'm looking at it.
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There's nothing. I said, I can't believe this.
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So they don't worry about it. Just call the, you know, the IT
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people. They'll come out and and they'll
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get it working for you. I said, well, I hope so, because
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my work's filing up, didn't think anymore about it.
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I took that computer, sat it over in the corner in the front
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of the office, waiting on the IT person.
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And then I got a borrowed another computer and started
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working on my work. Ian walks this handsome guy,
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never saw him before and he just, he didn't come over to me
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right away. He went over and he was looking
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at the computer because I had it over in the corner and I thought
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because I worked for surplus property, I thought that he was
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just coming in to basically. Buy a computer from surplus.
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And so I looked at him. I said, Sir, if you're looking
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for computers to purchase, that would be you'd have to go around
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the corner to the back and then they will register you in and
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then you can pick out a computer there.
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That particular computer's not for sale.
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He said, well, no, I'm not here to buy a computer.
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He said I'm here from so and so with what the company was.
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And he said, and my name is Daniel Newred.
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And I said, oh, I said, okay. Well, thank you.
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I said go ahead and take a look at the computer.
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I turned around and started typing.
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He said, well, what is your name?
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I said, my name is right there on the name tag because I had a
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a name tag right there. And I started typing back again
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and I'm thinking, you know, he's watching me.
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But he kept looking at the computer.
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Finally he said, well, I need to.
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I said Sir. I just stopped him because I was
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trying to get my work done. I know he was nice looking, but
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at the same time I've had business to take care of.
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I said there's a lady right around the corner, she'll take
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care of whatever you need to do with the computer.
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So he said okay. He walked off, he went back and
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I kept typing. He comes back and I guess
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because I was a little short with him, he says I'm leaving
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now. And I heard his New York accent,
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and I was like. Are you from the north?
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And he says yeah, New York. I said Oh my God, I said I'm
10:27
from the north too. And he says really?
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I said he said where? And I told him we started
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talking and I promised you Danny, we talked for at least an
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hour and a half. He came into to my because I had
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like a little waiting office area.
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He came in and sat down and we were just talking on and on and
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on. And of course I always use that
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opportunity whenever I meet someone new to invite him to
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church. And so I said, well, do you have
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a church home? I know you haven't been here
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long. And he says, well, he's, I've
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visited some churches. I don't have the church home
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here, he says, I suppose then come and visit.
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He says sure, he said. I'm not going to promise when,
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but I will come. I said okay and I gave him a
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little part and I said so whenever you come and Jen, this
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is the the, the spiel that I give everybody.
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When I give him a card, when you come, tell him that you're my
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special guest and they'll then you can come and sit by me.
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That way you'll know somebody in the search.
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But I told it to everybody. I wasn't coming on to him or
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anything, I was just being. The normal person that I am.
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So he said, well I don't know when he said, but he said I will
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come. I said when you do, no problem.
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And I said it was real nice talking to you, nice meeting
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you. So he looked at his watch.
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He says, yeah well I am working dear, so I do need to get back
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to work and but we just hit off immediately, you know what I
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mean? So it was just.
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That particular day I says, well, okay, I said, nice guy,
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Hope he does come to church. He seems like the kind of guy
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that would make someone a good husband.
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Not thinking about me. I'm thinking now as an assistant
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pastor with a lot of women in the church that are waiting on
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their voice. I hadn't even thought about me
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at this time, and I certainly didn't think about what my
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pastor had told me the month before.
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So. He comes, he comes to the church
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first, he calls me and when he called he said I tried to find
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the church, but did you know that the the street that the
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church is on, there are two streets in Montgomery that have
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that same name? Apparently I went to the wrong
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one. I said no problem and I gave him
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directions. He said I think I'm going to go
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ahead and come this Sunday. And I said that's great, go
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ahead and come. And so we talked, He says, well,
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I will be there on Sunday. I said, well, that that's fine
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and I'll see you there. Well, he came that Sunday, and
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when he walked in the door, I'm telling you, it's a small
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church. Majority women and everybody was
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watching that door when he came walking.
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And when he came in, he came in. With such a humble attitude, so
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not looking for anything except the the presence of the Lord.
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And when the altar call came up, this is what impressed me and
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probably every other lady in the church.
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He went up, and there was a prophetess there, and she began
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to prophesy to him. And as he as she prophesied to
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him, tears just rolled down his face.
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Oh my God. That was.
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I mean, it was so powerful. He gave he, he just like
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rededicated to the Lord right there at the altar.
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And we were, everybody was excited for it.
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Even though they didn't know him.
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They knew that this was a beautiful thing that was
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happening anyway. Normally one of us will have one
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of the ministers will invite the church to their home for dinner.
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It was my turn, so I invited. Everyone to come, mostly
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leadership. And then I said, well, since
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you're my guest, would you like to come?
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And he said, yeah, so he came. There were maybe 10-15 people
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there, had a good time. But I noticed that I had told my
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girlfriend who was the minister and you know, her Winifred,
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Minister Winifred, actually now. And I had told her I would take
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her home. So when everyone else left and
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he was still there and she was still there, I was like, Oh my
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God, I said I'm going to have to take her home.
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And I'm not trying to rush you to leave.
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He says, well, it's dark outside.
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And he said I if you're going to take her home, he said, why
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don't you do this, let me drive you to take her home and then
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I'll bring you back, he said. Because after dark, I don't
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really think that Lady should be out there.
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On their own, that was such a gentlemanly thing, that then I
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was like, wow, So anyway, we we took her home and on the way
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back we were talking and he said, you know, he said you're
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you're a really nice person. You probably make somebody a
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Good Wife. I said, oh, thank you for saying
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that. He brought me home, walked me to
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the door. He left.
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Well, the next day he called. He wanted to come over.
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He came over. We talked now every time he came
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there was always someone there, so I was never there alone with
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him. And he said to me, he says look,
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he says I'm going to call you later this week.
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In the meantime, a girlfriend of mine had introduced me to
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another guy who. We'll talk about that later.
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That's another part to the story.
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But at any rate, I called him and asked him, do you mind
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coming over to help my daughter with her computer?
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Because I knew he had computer skills as well and he says what
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I would, he said. But I'm working on some real
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estate deals and. I won't be able to come tonight,
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but she had she had a problem that was due the next day.
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It was a report. So I said, well, let me call
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Daniel. That's my husband's name.
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Daniel. And I said, Daniel, would you
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possibly be able to come over? I know you do computers, but I
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didn't want you to think I'm trying to get anything from you
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for free. But my daughter's computer
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acting up and she has a report due, he said.
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I'll be over there in 30 minutes.
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Well, that was another good thing.
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So he came over, he worked on her computer, and I could hear
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him interacting with her. And he was so kind and so
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gracious and so polite and and patient.
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You know, the patience that he was showing with her as he was
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explaining what she needed to do in this and that, That's, gosh,
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I see. He's a really nice guy, you
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know. And anyway, so I was impressed
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with that when he left that day. The next day he called me and he
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says, look, he said you've invited me to your home twice,
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he said. And one time I've had dinner, he
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said, But I would like to invite you to my home.
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He said for dinner. He said I'm going to cook and he
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said. Did he?
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How did he put that? He said.
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Because I want you to see how I live.
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I thought that was a little strange that he would say that I
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was like, why was Why is he singing that?
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Why do you want me to see how he lived?
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So anyway, I I knew my pastor is very strict, so I called him.
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I said I'll ask my pastor because normally.
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Women do not go to dinner with men alone at their place.
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And so he said, well, OK, ask him.
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So I call my pastor and I'm thinking he's going to say no.
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My pastor says, well, what time would you be back?
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I'm saying, huh? He says yeah, you can go, he
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says. What time would he said, this is
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the gentleman that I met on Sunday, right?
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I said yeah, he said. Very upstanding young man, he
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said go and I'll tell you what I'll do.
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If you're supposed to be back at a certain time, I'll call you
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and if I don't get an answer, give me his address and I will
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come over there, he said. But I don't think there's going
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to be a problem, dear. I said whoa, so he told me to go
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and I'm wet. I go to dinner.
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His place is Immaculate. The dinner he I'm telling you,
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Janice, he could cook better than me.
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It was amazing. I mean, Oh my gosh, so after
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dinner, only ate dinner and he says, well, I have television
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and we can watch television, he said.
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The only thing about it, I only have one television.
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It's in my bedroom. I was looking at him on the side
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of my eye. He said Oh no, no, no, it's not
20:08
like that. He said if you want I can stay
20:10
in the living room and you can watch whatever program you want.
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He said, but it's I'm not trying anything.
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And I said, OK I'll watch one program.
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So and and I said you come in, it's your you know, I had a
20:27
chair there. I went in, we watched the one
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program. I said okay, it's about time for
20:32
me to go because I told my pastor that I'd be home by such
20:35
and such time. He says okay, fine.
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So he says, well it's it's dark let me walk you to your car.
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Well by this time I'm used to him being that way.
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So I said okay. So he walks me to the car and he
20:48
says, you remember the other day when I told you you you'd make
20:55
someone a good walk? I said yeah.
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So that was that was nice of you to say.
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And he says I was talking about me.
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Well, at this time I only knew him like 2 weeks.
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And I said you were what he says, yeah, I was talking about
21:13
me. So I looked at him and I said,
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you know, I know that you met me in the South and you may have
21:19
some preconceived notions about Southern women.
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I said, but I was born in the North, and I'm going to tell you
21:25
right now, there is nothing you can say or do that would get me
21:30
to do anything outside the character will of God, I said.
21:34
So if that's what you're trying to do, I said, then let me tell
21:38
you right now, I am not doing anything until there's a ring on
21:43
this finger. And he looked at me and he said,
21:47
huh, I said all I knew you could be some fast talking gigolo from
21:51
New York. And he started smelling and he
21:54
said, you think I'm a gigolo? I don't know.
21:59
I don't know you, Sir. So he said, well, I want you to
22:04
get to know me. He says, I tell you what he
22:07
said. You said if if you were to be
22:11
with someone, that person would have to be someone who put a
22:14
ring on your finger. I said yes.
22:17
He looked at me and he says I have your ring.
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I said he's okay so now I'm outside so I'm safe.
22:30
But I'm thinking he must be crazy.
22:32
There isn't. He doesn't even know me.
22:34
How do you have a ring for me already?
22:36
It's been 2 weeks. No way in the world, he tells
22:40
me. I said, look, I said okay, so
22:43
you have a ring for me. He says yeah, he said so if I
22:46
come over tomorrow and bring the ring and propose to you, will
22:49
you accept? So I'm trying to think of
22:53
politically correct ways to say what I was about to say.
22:56
And what I said was I don't give pre opposed pre approvals to
23:01
proposals. If you have a ring, you bring it
23:04
tomorrow and we'll see what I say.
23:08
And so he said okay, I'm coming tomorrow and I'm thinking he's a
23:13
nerd. I go home, I call my pastor and
23:21
I'm telling him about the evening.
23:23
And I said, I said the I said the pastor, I think he has a
23:28
mental problem. And he said why do you say that?
23:32
I said this man told me he's got a ring for me and he's coming
23:39
over to propose tomorrow. And so he said what?
23:43
I said, yeah, he says, I said, he says, So what do you think
23:50
about that? I'm a pastor.
23:52
He ain't got no ring. And you said, well, he said I've
23:59
met him. He said I'm going to tell you
24:01
something. God has given me some wisdom
24:05
about him. He said, actually I actually had
24:08
a dream. He said I'm not going to share
24:10
the dream with you, he said. But I will tell you this.
24:14
He said you need to pray tonight, daughter, and ask God
24:19
what you're going to say when he comes with the ring tomorrow.
24:23
He is a serious man, he said. And he doesn't look like he
24:27
plays games, he said. So if he said he's coming with
24:30
the ring tomorrow, you better be asking God what you need to say.
24:36
Sir, he does not have a ring, so I'm just laughing.
24:44
I said OK, I'm going to bed now. Goodnight.
24:46
So I went to bed. Next day he calls me after work
24:50
and he says, can I come over? I said yeah, He comes over, he
24:57
comes upstairs and then he says I have the ring in the car.
25:03
So I'm looking at him. I said, you do, huh?
25:06
He says yeah, he said. I'm going to get it, Okay.
25:10
I said go get the ring because I'm not believing any of this.
25:16
You ain't believing no ring so oh, it was so funny.
25:23
And when he goes down, he comes back, he has a zeal box in his
25:27
hand. He drops down on his lead and
25:34
I'm like, in shock because I'm thinking there's no way this is
25:38
happening right now. Anyway, he opens up the zelbox
25:43
and there's the ring that I had been admired at the mall in the
25:47
showroom window. He's got it in the box. 32 carat
25:52
ring, 3 1/2 no, 3 1/2 carat ring with 32 diamonds.
25:58
I was floored, but that wasn't what floored me so much.
26:04
A week before that I told you I was being involved with lots of
26:09
groups, women groups and things. One of the groups that we had at
26:12
in within the church was one for unmarried women called Waiting
26:16
to Exhale. And all of the the girls in the
26:22
in the club had bought themselves rings and I didn't
26:26
have one. They said, girl, you better go
26:27
ahead and buy yourself a ring by face.
26:30
I said no. I said when I get a ring, it's
26:32
going to be a ring that my husband puts on my finger.
26:36
They said, well, what kind of ring do you want?
26:38
I said, I don't know. I said I like solitaires.
26:41
I love baguettes. And I also like, I like the the
26:46
little, you know, the little bitty clusters.
26:50
He said, oh, they said, well, you need to make up your mind
26:54
what you want. You need to go buy yourself
26:55
money. And they were just showing their
26:57
rings off of this, that and the other.
26:59
And I felt kind of funny because all I had on was a little
27:01
promise band. So when he brings the ring in,
27:09
it had clusters, baguettes and a solitaire because I couldn't
27:16
make up my mind. He put it on my finger and it's
27:21
fit, but before he put it on his finger, he made this big speech.
27:29
It was like something out of a storybook.
27:32
I just, I was in shock, but it was so sweet.
27:37
I knew that I couldn't hurt his spirit.
27:40
So I said, how do I turn him down?
27:42
God, with with promise, you know, because he's a nice guy.
27:46
There's nothing really wrong with him except he's rushing it.
27:50
You know, I opened my mouth and I was going to just say to him,
27:56
look, you're a nice guy. I'm sure if we get to know each
28:00
other and really just seek the Lord about this, maybe there's a
28:05
possibility that something can happen later on.
28:08
But when I opened my mouth because the last thing he said
28:11
was, will you do me the honor and make me the happiest man in
28:15
the world and be my wife. So I opened my mouth to say this
28:19
big speech to him and out of my mouth comes yes.
28:25
And I looked around like, who said that?
28:30
And and I said it so low. He said, did you say yes?
28:35
And I said yes. And I'm looking like it's
28:40
talking wow, nothing that I thought I was going to say, did
28:47
I say? And he says, oh, he said, I am
28:51
so happy. He just hugged me.
28:53
He put the ring on my finger and I'm sitting there in shock, like
28:56
what just happened? It was amazing.
29:03
So a few days before the proposal, maybe three days
29:09
before the proposal, one of my minister girlfriends called me.
29:13
And you probably know her too. Mary Smith, you remember her and
29:19
she and she was in prayer. And this was the craziest thing
29:25
because I got all these confirmations before this even
29:28
happened. So I should have been ready, but
29:30
I wasn't. She called me, she said me and
29:35
Sister Angela, we were in prayer and she says, oh, and we used to
29:39
call her sister Shout because, you know, she used to love to to
29:43
shout. And we said and and so she was
29:46
like, oh, she said, she said, who have you met?
29:51
I said, huh, She said who have you met?
29:54
I said, well I met a guy a couple weeks ago, but I don't
29:57
know him that way. She said, let me tell you what
30:01
God said I had to stop praying just to call you and tell you
30:06
that God said be who. I said sister can't be a a, a, a
30:13
a soul mate. And I come quickly and she
30:19
started speaking in tongues and hung up the wow that was.
30:26
And I'm saying, is everybody going crazy?
30:28
My pastor had a dream. Then she calls me with this.
30:34
And now, you know, and I'm thinking, what the heck is going
30:38
on with everybody? Everybody's like, yeah, he's the
30:41
one. Yeah, he's the one.
30:43
You guys don't even know him. But I did have a dream on the
30:50
night that everyone came to dinner and I thought, and this
30:56
is this is for you ladies, that sometimes you think that your
31:01
flesh is acting up. So I thought my flesh was acting
31:05
up while I was waiting on my guests and they were eating and
31:10
talking and fellowshipping. I did have a dream.
31:15
I was ashamed to admit the dream to anybody.
31:18
I really was, because when I went to sleep I dreamed about
31:24
Daniel. And in the dream there was an
31:31
act of marriage in the miracle bed.
31:34
And he was quoting the word. He kept quoting the word to me,
31:40
just quoting the word to me. And I'm saying this is straight
31:44
from state. I rethink you in the day when
31:46
she when? After the after having accepted
31:56
the engagement, I told my pastor about the dream.
32:00
He said maybe that dream wasn't even what you thought it was.
32:05
He said you're thinking your flesh was acting up.
32:07
He said, but that was God letting you know that there
32:11
would be a marriage and that it would be founded in him, founded
32:16
in his word. He said you totally missed the
32:19
meaning of action. He said, baby, that was your
32:24
confirmation from God and you didn't get it.
32:30
I was like, wow, so here I am, we're getting married.
32:36
We go to the church, we go to pastor.
32:38
We tell him, he says because you are an assistant pastor, because
32:43
we're thinking we'll just go ahead and have a court, you
32:46
know, court wedding. You just go to the court and
32:49
they could marry us with the justice of the peace.
32:52
And that he said you can't do that because you're the
32:55
assistant pastor. People will.
32:57
Some people will say they don't know if you even got married
33:00
because they didn't see it. If you do it that way, that's
33:04
not what they. They didn't witness this.
33:08
Yes, he said you have to do it before witnesses.
33:11
And so we said we don't have money for a big wedding.
33:16
And you know, I know everybody in Montgomery, that's not going
33:20
to work. I can't.
33:21
He says we're going to have a small wedding.
33:24
And he called a couple of the ministers over.
33:26
He said what can you guys do to do have a wedding done in the
33:30
middle of the week? He said don't send you, don't
33:33
worry about invitations. He said send out, call people.
33:37
If they come, they come, if they don't, they don't.
33:39
He said whoever's there, that's who's going to be the witness.
33:44
Well, that's what we did. They said, well, how much of a
33:48
budget do we have? And it was so funny.
33:53
I said I have 100, we have $150.00 extra that we could
33:59
spend. And the two of the sisters, they
34:03
looked at me, the ministers, they said we can work with that.
34:07
I promise you Janice, at the end of of when it was time for the
34:12
wedding, I had two professional singers.
34:15
I had someone that videoed I have a had a photographer, I
34:19
had, I had a a wedding party, I had a ring bearer.
34:25
I had all of this stuff. We had a color scheme.
34:29
I had a reception. Of course it was only take and
34:33
punch, but everything for and and they still had money left
34:39
over. Somebody donated and baked the
34:42
cake, Someone else did floral arrangements, so they did the
34:46
bouquets and all that. I'm telling you, it was totally
34:50
God, Totally. And there was one girl I'll
34:54
never forget. She was sitting at the wedding
34:56
and she had just a year before got married and her husband had
35:01
already left her and they had spit thousands of dollars on
35:05
wedding. During my whole wedding she was
35:07
crying, just crying, just blowing.
35:11
So I went over to her because after the wedding she was still
35:14
sitting there just crying and wiping her eyes and I said, well
35:17
what's going on honey? She said.
35:21
I spent thousands of dollars for a wedding where I ended up
35:28
having to clean up at the end because all the guests just
35:32
left, she said. And then now he's gone.
35:36
You have a wedding in a matter of days and everybody's here
35:40
doing everything for you, she said.
35:43
You have not had to lift a finger.
35:46
That's gone. She said I should have waited
35:51
and I just hugged her and loved him on her and but that was that
35:58
was something that really touched my heart, the way that
36:02
that happened. I even had, believe it or not,
36:05
an engagement party. Wow.
36:08
OK. From the from the time that you
36:11
got married, from the time you met him, was then how long?
36:16
January the 2nd we met, January the 17th he proposed.
36:21
January the 21st we got married. All of this transpired in.
36:31
That time and that time frame, yes.
36:36
Wow. It was nothing short.
36:40
But God, that's all I can say. And I I mean, most people would
36:48
have said, and then I even said, how do you marry somebody that
36:53
you don't know? You don't know their family,
36:55
You've never met them before until that day.
36:58
How do you marry somebody like that And promised to to to be
37:04
with them forever. But I had peace in my spirit.
37:09
But when I got to the altar and we kneeled to pray, I almost
37:13
seen it because the magnitude of what I was doing, you know, it
37:24
was overwhelming. Yes, it was.
37:27
And so that was just the wedding.
37:31
And that's what I think I really want to talk about the most.
37:35
That was how God did it for me. That is not how it's going to
37:39
happen for every woman. It may happen to one out of
37:44
10,000 women every year. It just happened.
37:49
It just was all God and none of me.
37:52
I didn't even have time to flirt with this guy.
37:56
That's how fast it happened. I'm serious.
38:00
There was nothing that I could do except say yes.
38:05
And God helped me to do that. So you think, oh, well, they got
38:10
married and they lived happily every afternoon.
38:17
The preparation, that was my my working with the Lord.
38:21
And working for the Lord was preparation for the work that
38:25
was about to happen in our marriage.
38:29
When we got married he was working as I T but I was working
38:33
in a low paying job for the state.
38:38
Well, we were together for we had been married for a year and
38:46
my mom had a stroke. So we had to go and take care of
38:52
her and get her in rehab and everything.
38:54
She lives in Ohio so we had to to go there.
38:58
He had to take off his job. I had to take off mine.
38:59
We went and then they said they would keep her for six weeks for
39:03
therapy and then we were to come come back and get her in a
39:07
assisted living type situation. So we when they called us and
39:12
told us in six weeks that we had to come back, we decided will it
39:16
be better to move her closer to us so we could make make sure we
39:20
took care of her and at first to let her live with us and then
39:23
find the place that she could be.
39:26
When we when he told his job that he had to go back to pick
39:32
up his mom motherinlaw, they cancelled this contract.
39:37
So now he has no job and I have a little job, very low paying
39:45
job. So we go and now we have another
39:48
mouth to feed. So we go to Ohio.
39:52
We get my mom. After looking around we were
39:55
able to find her a nice place downtown.
39:57
They have those senior citizens downtown in Montgomery and got
40:02
her cute little place there. Once she rehabilitated, she
40:07
wanted to go back to Ohio, so we had to leave again and take her
40:13
back to Ohio. We come back.
40:17
My husband has no job. I'm barely making it and someone
40:23
called me on the phone. One of one of one of the
40:28
ministers and a very wellknown ministry there in Montgomery
40:32
called and said there's a job for your husband.
40:37
He did not have to look for the job.
40:39
The job came and found him. And when I tell you it was a
40:45
good paying job, Oh my God, great paying job.
40:50
So there he began to work and we were fine for a while.
40:54
We said, well, you know what, We're in apartments, so let's
40:58
get a house. My daughter was in college and
41:04
she was trying to work, have her own place and and you know,
41:08
struck struggle with her, her studies.
41:11
So we said we'll get a house and then all of us can be there and
41:14
she could just live there until she graduates.
41:16
He said Okay, that was fine. So now we have her home and then
41:23
we get a call. My mom was found with, she was
41:29
found unconscious so they put a pacemaker in.
41:32
She was doing okay for a little bit but then about a month later
41:35
they found her unconscious again.
41:38
My husband says that's it, she is coming to live with us and
41:43
she is not going back, He said you only get one mother, he
41:48
said. So we are going to get her and
41:50
we're going to bring her back. Well, by this time we were
41:53
trying to, we were leasing or renting to buy a home.
41:57
So you know how they have the rent to own and we had, we're
42:02
under contract with that. We had our daughter with us.
42:04
Now we got mom. We're dealing with all of that.
42:10
And of course she's got multiple appointments to go to now and
42:14
this, that and the other. And in the midst of all of that,
42:20
one day he gets a phone call. The phone call says, was it a
42:29
phone call? I'm trying to think if it was a
42:31
phone call or a letter. It was letter and it said that
42:38
he had been named as a possible father for some woman's child.
42:47
Well, we've been married now like 4 years.
42:50
We're still like going in and out of struggles.
42:52
In and out of struggles, baby. Who and how could there be when
42:58
we've been together for four years?
43:00
There's no way. Absolutely not.
43:03
Let's just take DNA. We're not worried about this.
43:06
And I said there is no way that anyone could say, I said, well,
43:11
how old is the child? He said, well, they said the
43:13
child is a couple of years old. I said the numbers don't add up
43:20
for when we, you know, got married and are married.
43:23
I said you haven't been with anybody since we got married.
43:30
Well, I'll never forget the look on his face.
43:37
He didn't answer me. I said right.
43:45
He didn't answer me. And I said, have you been with
43:54
someone else? And he said, yeah, I had.
44:01
I'm like, who? And Long story short, he was
44:08
taking therapy for his back at some point in time and one of
44:11
the nurses came on to him and just basically she came on to
44:17
him and just told him, hey, I don't care if you're married,
44:20
she never has to know you, you know about this.
44:24
And yeah, that was. Wow.
44:31
On top of everything else that we had gone through that was
44:33
like, oh, being ugly and being beat with an ugly stick.
44:45
I have a choice because the word says that because of the
44:53
hardness of men's heart, he allows.
44:56
Divorce didn't say you have to, and then he gave reasons why you
45:05
can't. But as I read the Word, the Holy
45:09
Spirit, and impressed on my spirit that forgiveness was the
45:18
greater gift, forgiveness was the greater root of the Spirit.
45:28
And how many times had God forgiven me for things that I
45:31
had done? And he just wanted me to look at
45:38
that, to take a good look at that?
45:44
And I did. And I decided this marriage is
45:50
not going to be a statistic. God did this.
45:53
God put this together that was the enemy, tried to come in and
45:58
tear up what God had done and that he was getting glory out of
46:03
right and I could either allow him to win.
46:06
Or I could fight. Or you could fight.
46:11
I decided to fight. Wow, wow.
46:15
I did not. I did not know all this I know.
46:20
Wow. It was not easy.
46:24
And I'm going to tell you, some women can't do it.
46:27
They don't have it in them. But once God put it in my spirit
46:33
about true forgiveness, I was able to do it.
46:40
I wasn't able to do it alone. It took a lot of prayer.
46:45
It took a lot of reaffirmation from my husband.
46:48
It took him convincing me and winning my trust again to be
46:55
able to do what we did. It was not easy, but it was
47:07
necessary. Wow.
47:10
And the reason why I say that is because when you when the devil
47:15
has thrown everything at you that he can throw at you just
47:19
about and you still say I love you and mean it, that's when
47:29
you're on your way to a strong marriage.
47:34
And we were able, after a few years of working on, it was
47:38
really, really hard to get back to where we were and then to
47:43
grow away, that step to the point where now it's a memory.
47:50
If I think about it, I get a little teared up because who
47:54
wouldn't? I mean, you know, but I know
48:01
that that man loves me like like any woman would dream of being
48:08
loved. And he has never given me a
48:12
reason to ever doubt him again in life.
48:19
And so when we celebrated our 25th anniversary in 2022, I had
48:30
a lot to celebrate. I mean, we've gone through
48:35
problems with the children and blended family.
48:41
Mom coming home and being sick, him losing his job, me losing my
48:45
job, both of us being unemployed.
48:48
One time. We went through the infidelity,
48:51
we went through, Oh my God, we went through things.
48:56
But the keyword is we went through.
48:59
Y'all went through it. Y'all passed on by.
49:02
Yes, and we decided to work and to fight for our marriage.
49:09
Wow. Wow.
49:11
So for me that was a victorious line and and I couldn't look at
49:18
him and say, you know, we did that by the grace of God, not
49:24
because of, oh goodness of Miles or he, but because we leaned and
49:30
depended upon God. Yes, yes, yes.
49:36
And it was all to his glory. Wow, wow.
49:42
Wow. Cather there is.
49:45
I get so many. I get so many emails or
49:49
messages. People I don't know that should
49:55
I stay? Should I go?
49:56
Should I stay? Should I go?
49:58
Situations like that. Situations where they don't feel
50:06
that they can trust their husband, but they so love them
50:10
so much that I just want to stay.
50:13
I just want to hang. Hang in there.
50:16
And I want to fight. I'm going to fight.
50:19
I always tell people, you know, a lot of time people try to
50:22
compare their marriage to other people.
50:24
Marriage. Oh, she's been married 40 years.
50:27
But you don't know the story, right?
50:29
You don't know the story of the 40 years and you don't know
50:32
this. And then they'll start listening
50:35
to other people. Girl, if I was you, I would
50:37
leave. And those sometimes are people
50:40
that. Those are people sometime that
50:42
are putting up and taking more than you even taking but they'll
50:47
tell you to leave and listening to your story, what would you
50:51
say to that woman that is struggling in her marriage and
50:59
she really don't. She really don't know what to
51:01
do. But I heard you say that you
51:04
went to God in prayer and how God taught you about
51:08
forgiveness. And you knew in all of us.
51:12
That's listening to your testimony from the beginning how
51:15
God brought y'all together. It's no doubt that it was a God
51:19
thing. It's no doubt that it was a God
51:22
thing. What would you tell that?
51:24
What would you tell that woman that is struggling?
51:28
Because I always tell people pray, and sometimes I don't know
51:30
what people pray. And sometimes people, I heard
51:32
people say, look, I'm praying out, I'm tired.
51:35
You know what? What would you say?
51:37
What would you say to that young lady?
51:41
First of all, marriage is going to have ups and downs when you
51:49
face a struggle especially like that one.
51:53
The first thing and the most important thing is that you fall
51:58
on your face before God and ask for his direction.
52:03
You ask for a word from him. Every situation is not going to
52:09
turn out the way mine did. Because you got to remember, God
52:13
was not just working on me, He was also working on my husband.
52:18
My husband knew that this was wrong, and he had held it in so
52:24
long. He was relieved to be able to
52:26
tell me the truth, and he knew that it was a trick from the
52:29
enemy to make him lose the testimony that God had given
52:33
him. So what we both had to do is be
52:38
willing to work if he is not willing to work on it and
52:42
rebuild that trust if he is still out there doing the same
52:46
thing that he was doing. If he is not doing everything he
52:50
can to to to show you that you're the one and that there's
52:56
nothing that he wants more than for you and him to make it And
53:01
he and you can see when they're being honest.
53:05
You can know in your spirit when they're being honest, and if you
53:09
can't, you can ask God to reveal it to you.
53:12
But if those things aren't in place, then you need to think
53:17
about what you need to do for yourself.
53:21
You can forgive and stay, or you can forgive and go, but let your
53:28
answer be cosigned by God. Wow.
53:34
That's powerful. Wow, that's powerful.
53:38
Now, what would you say to the young lady that is in her season
53:43
of waiting? She's been waiting.
53:46
Lord, I've been waiting. This one got married.
53:49
Been married three times. I still got my first.
53:53
Lord, I'm. I'm true to you.
53:56
I'm. I'm believing you.
53:58
But I'm tired. Say to the young lady that's in
54:03
her seasonal waiting on God to send her She's sincerely waiting
54:08
on God to send her husband. Hold on, you said.
54:20
Hold on, hold on. Help is on the way.
54:24
God has for some a bow ass. But while you are waiting, you
54:36
shouldn't just be sitting up there waiting like, OK, God,
54:42
when are you going to do this? OK, God, I've been waiting it.
54:45
How long, Lord? How long?
54:47
No, that's not what you do. You get busy taking care of
54:52
God's business. The moment you get off of what
54:54
you want and do what God wants, you look around and God's
54:58
already done what you want. What you want of his business,
55:06
he said. Seek ye first the Kingdom of
55:08
heaven, and all these things will be added unto you.
55:11
But sometimes we say that we're that we're that we are believing
55:17
that, and we say that we're serving.
55:21
But in the back of your mind or or foremost in your mind is.
55:25
And when the guy, when the church doors open, is that him?
55:28
Is that him? Is that him?
55:30
No, forget about all that. Concentrate on God.
55:35
Get dizzy for him. Let God work on some things in
55:39
you that will make you be prepared to be a wife.
55:42
And then ask God if that is his desire for you.
55:48
What if his desire work for you to be like Paul.
55:55
Some women don't want to hear that maybe he loves you so much
56:00
that he doesn't want you to concentrate on other men.
56:02
Maybe he loves you so much he just wants to have all of your
56:06
attention. A woman who and and and Paul
56:09
talked about it in the word that the the person that's unmarried
56:13
only has to focus on God. Exactly.
56:17
So get busy doing what God is telling you to do, and then if
56:22
that you we always say not my will, but your will be done, do
56:29
we really mean? Wow.
56:34
Wow, what God's will is for you. But you can't do that by
56:40
constantly being distracted and looking and trying to help God
56:45
out. See, when you look at and and I
56:51
read this the other day or saw it somewhere, when you look at
56:54
the story of Naomi, you will see that Naomi and Ruth.
57:05
You will see that she wasn't waiting.
57:09
She was in the field, working. Working busy.
57:13
It was busy and it caught bull asses attention, and because she
57:22
was doing what she was supposed to do and not really, really
57:27
focusing on anything, she got noticed.
57:33
And she already had sacrificed because remember, she lost her
57:38
husband. But she decided to be with her
57:40
motherinlaw and stay with her and her people would be her
57:44
people and she had really completely sacrificed, she said.
57:48
And you're gone. Will be my God.
57:51
Will be my God. Let God be God in your life, and
57:56
then whatever he wants to add on to it.
58:00
He will do it. He will do and trust him that
58:03
whatever he adds or doesn't add is not is is best for you.
58:08
Right, right, right. That's an awesome, awesome
58:14
answer. Wow, latest.
58:16
I know without a shadow of a doubt that you have gotten so
58:20
many great takeaways that this testimony, this interview, this
58:25
story has inspired. You.
58:27
Don't just sit down on it. Share this podcast.
58:33
It's on the Spotify app. You go to the Spotify app,
58:36
download the app if you are listening to the interview on
58:41
the Spotify app and you just only.
58:43
Hear the audio then you hadn't down, you hadn't downloaded it,
58:47
correct? Because you should be able to
58:49
see the two of us. That's how you know that you
58:53
haven't downloaded it completely.
58:55
Download it so you can see this beautiful lady that God bless
59:01
with her bow ass, her testimony of how God put them together,
59:07
how many times you have heard of a person.
59:11
Have known each other less than a month.
59:14
Married. Here it is over 20 some years
59:19
later married. Still married.
59:23
I I remember when they renewed their vows in the Bahamas.
59:28
I said that I said that cruise up for them and how God bless
59:32
them to renew to renew their vows to him and thank him for
59:38
what he has done. I want to say Kathy to you,
59:41
Thank you, thank you, thank you for being so willingly.
59:45
Thank you so much for sharing your story and this, you know, a
59:50
lot of time people sit on their story, but it's not so much for
59:54
you. It's it's to help somebody else,
59:56
your story. You never know how many people
1:00:00
that this will resonate with. And I'm praying that because I I
1:00:05
get people. People reach out to me and say
1:00:07
girl. That was just for me.
1:00:10
I have interviewed people. I interviewed a lady who had
1:00:14
been molested as a teenager and she suffered in silence for
1:00:17
years. I had a couple of people like
1:00:19
that that I interviewed and but the people that reached back out
1:00:23
to me to say this happened to me, you, I'm just now saying
1:00:28
something to somebody. I'm just now telling you I that
1:00:32
encouraged me not to sit on it. That's why I can't heal.
1:00:35
That's why I can't really fully be the wife that I need to be to
1:00:39
my husband, because I still have that baggage from then.
1:00:44
So I know without a shadow of doubt, Catherine, that God, God,
1:00:50
this, this was God. God put us together, put this
1:00:52
together. I know without a shadow of
1:00:54
doubt, and I know that there'll be many ladies.
1:00:57
I want to tell you Thank you, Thank you.
1:00:59
Thank you for continuing to rock with me.
1:01:02
Go and have an amazing day. And as I always say, always try
1:01:08
to leave a person better than you found them.
1:01:12
Have a great one. Thank you so much for joining us
1:01:17
for this episode of the Women Majoring in Marriage podcast, if
1:01:21
you're enjoying the show. Please feel free to like,
1:01:23
subscribe, leave a review, or comment.
1:01:26
You know all that good stuff that helps other folks like you
1:01:28
Find the podcast. Please come back every month on
1:01:31
the 2nd and 4th Wednesday for new episodes.
1:01:34
You can also find Janice on our website www.janicevance.com
1:01:40
where you can order her book Women Majoring in Marriage.
1:01:43
And for more fun content, be sure to check out our Facebook
1:01:46
group at Women Majoring in Their Marriage.
1:01:49
Also, if you have any questions or would like to reach out, feel
1:01:52
free to send us an e-mail at the marriage major@gmail.com.
1:01:57
Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll catch you in the next
1:01:59
episode.