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How to communicate or negotiate with a narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite self aware narcissist.
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  Mr. Lee Hammond better known as mental illness across all social
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  media platforms. This your first time seeing my
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  face or hear my voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and I use my platform all over social media to raise
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  awareness for MPD, get more people into therapy by myself
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  and also validate the victims, survivors and thrivers.
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  Upset disorder said Toxic people say toxic tricks.
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  Today's episode is going to be about how to communicate or
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  negotiate with a narcissistic person, how to communicate and
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  or negotiate with a narcissist. It's going to be a touchy
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  episode. Y'all so stay.
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  So just just just bear with me and of course let me put this
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  out. Put this out here at the
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  beginning. Use discretion.
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  Y'all have seen those old movies.
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  At the very beginning of a movie, viewer discretion is
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  advised. Same thing applies here.
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  Viewer discretion. User discretion is advised right
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  now. So bear with me.
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  So how to communicate with So I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  I've been thinking about this for a while.
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  Y'all, how do you communicate with a narcissist?
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  Somewhat. Y'all, there is no fool.
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  Let me preface this by let me let me let me lead by saying
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  this. There is no foolproof way to
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  communicate with a narcissist. Some of them do not want to
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  communicate with you. Y'all.
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  Some narcissists are just out to try to harm you and to hurt you
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  and to make your life harder. That's the goal of some
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  narcissistic people. Just to make your life harder,
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  just to make your life a little bit more difficult.
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  Just to make your life a look. It's just just to make you
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  suffer for being with them. You're great at like I said this
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  before but narcissists, a lot of them will punish you for loving
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  them. Your your The reward you get for
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  loving a narcissist is punishment and suffering and
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  just strife. It is not an easy thing to deal
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  with a narcissist or a tax person.
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  I think everybody who's watching this will already understand
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  what understand that and agree with it.
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  So in that position the bet one of the So I always tell people
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  to read this book right here. Y'all.
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  The book is called How to Win Friends, How to Win Friends and
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  Influence People. It is a it's a good book.
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  It's about business strategies and things like that and how to
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  negotiate with being businesses and the art of the deal and
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  whatnot, blah blah blah blah. Yeah, it's an amazing book.
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  But the main, the main, the best way to communicate with a
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  narcissistic person, you know, for me and from my mind as a
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  diagnosed narcissist is you have to make them feel like they are
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  winning something. You have to make it seem like
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  whatever did you're asking them for, whatever you need them to
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  do, whatever you need from them, you have to make it seem like it
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  is of it. It is, it is of some benefit to
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  them you have. Yeah.
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  This is one of the main that you have to make it seem like doing
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  this right here, doing this task, doing whatever that you're
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  doing, doing whatever it is that I'm asking you of, it is going
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  to be of some benefit to you. Because that's the question that
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  a lot of narcissists ask themselves, like we ask
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  ourselves, how does this benefit me now?
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  They say it right there. That's the question.
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  How does this benefit me? What is the benefit of this for
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  me in this situation right here? That's the question right there.
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  Y'all. So you.
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  So if a narcissist is asking themselves that question, you
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  have to ask yourself that question.
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  It's like begin with the end in mind.
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  You like you have to be able to put yourself in the shoes of
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  that narcissistic person. I don't care if they toxic
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  rundown shoes with holes in the toes, no sole on them.
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  You have to be just like you have to be able to put yourself
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  in the position of that narcissistic person.
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  You have to be able to wear their shoes and understand that
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  their mindset. Because most if not all
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  narcissists are self-serving people.
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  We just are. That's one of the things that
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  kind of comes along with being a narcissist or or with being that
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  comes along with being a narcissist or what Being with a
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  narcissist you say. So ask yourself yet to what you
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  have to make it seem like they're winning.
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  Y'all. And I know people just like,
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  hell no, Lee, I'm not willing to do that.
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  So y'all. If you're not willing to do that
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  or give it a try, you see what I'm saying?
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  If you're not willing to do that or give it a try, keep doing
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  what you're doing it. It must be working.
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  It might be working better for you.
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  Like this method right here doesn't work for everybody.
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  And that's me. I I'm openly acknowledging that
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  this method right here does not work for every single person
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  that uses this method. Some people are going to fail,
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  you know, But this is the way you have to make it seem like it
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  benefits them in some way, shape or form.
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  Paying child support. How does paying child support
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  make their make it benefit them? How do they, how do I get them
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  to pay child support? How does it benefit them?
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  It it keeps them out of jail. You see what I'm saying?
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  Take you have to take you out of the equation and that's that's
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  and that's tough to do. You have to remove yourself from
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  the equation because sometimes it's not the message, it's the
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  messenger. Sometimes the narcissistic
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  person is not going to be willing to hear the information
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  or to receive the information just because it's coming from
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  you, just because the information source is you.
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  Sometimes that's the way it goes when you're dealing with
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  narcissists and or talk to people is that they have to.
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  Yeah, just because it's you. They don't want to negotiate
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  with you. If you have the right answer,
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  y'all if you have the right answer, if your plan of action
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  completely works and gets everything and handles
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  everything, they don't care. How does this benefit them?
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  Because if they agree with you with no benefit to themselves,
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  that brings in shame. It makes them feel embarrassed.
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  It makes them feel like they they are not good enough, makes
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  them feel like nothing they do is like say it's a weird ass
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  mindset being having narcissistic personality
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  disorder. It just is.
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  Y'all it is. It just is.
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  And it's like he telling people, it's just like the more you deal
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  with this type of person the more like you have to.
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  Yeah, I'm self-serving. What I do for me has to serve
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  me. What I do has to serve me.
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  First I ask myself the question, how does this serve me?
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  How does this benefit me? So that narcissistic person in
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  your life is subconsciously asking themselves the same
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  thing. Sometimes it's subconsciously.
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  Sometimes it's just like outright consciously.
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  It's sometimes they just ask themselves out.
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  Like then sometimes they'll ask you, what do I get out of this?
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  How does it? What?
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  What good does this do me? What comes back to me?
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  What's my benefit? You know, what's my profit here?
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  It's like you're trying to get somebody to invest, like so deal
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  with a narcissistic person or negotiate with a narcissist,
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  trying to get them to do something that you want them to
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  do or need them to do. It's like negotiating with a
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  businessman to a business person to try to get some money out of
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  them, to try to get them to invest in your company.
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  It's like a sales pitch. It sounds stupid, it sounds
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  ridiculous, but you have the sales pitch a toxic grown ass
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  adult in your life. You know what I mean?
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  So sorry, y'all hear y'all hear my y'all hear my thing.
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  Well, but yeah, the sales pitch. You have the sales pitch, your
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  partner, your parent, your kid, whoever it is in your life, the
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  narcissistic person, you have to sales pitch them.
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  And I know it sounds ridiculous. I know it sounds just just out
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  there, out out. It's just outer space type
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  stuff. But this is the way you have to
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  do it sometimes. Y'all.
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  And I know it sucks so damn badly.
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  I know people don't want to hear it, people don't want to deal
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  with it, and I completely and I fully understand why.
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  But the mindset of a narcissistic person is telling
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  them that they need to get something out of it.
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  Like when When was the last time you seen a narcissistic person
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  that you've been dealing with that you might have a very
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  tumultuous relationship with? When have you seen them do
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  something out of the kindness of their own heart with no ulterior
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  motive? When when have you seen them do
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  that? With no, no other motive, just
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  from the kindness of their own heart.
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  Want to do a good deed for you? When have you seen that happen?
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  Has that ever happened you say maybe it happened in the
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  beginning of the relationship may, or it seemed like it
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  happened, but they even in the beginning of the relationship,
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  they were doing something to benefit themselves.
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  Even in the beginning they were doing something that would
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  eventually benefit themselves. If I make a huge deposit, a huge
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  deposit of love in this relationship with you, if I make
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  a huge deposit of love in this relationship with you, then
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  there there's going to be a benefit later on.
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  It's like I'm making the deposit, I'm planting a seed and
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  the seed grows. I plant, I reap what I sow, I
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  harvest what I plant. So they planted early on and now
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  they're reaping the harvest within you.
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  So you have to like, say you have to think like a narcissist
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  you sometimes that's what you have to do.
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  And I said it doesn't make you narcissistic.
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  I'm not telling you to manipulate people for your for
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  your own insidious good, but you have to think like them
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  sometimes. Y'all to get them to do, to get
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  on the same accord, to get on that same mindset.
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  You have to think like a narcissist.
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  Start with the end in mind and kind of reverse engineer it from
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  the beginning to the end. You know what I mean?
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  From the beginning to the end, you have to be able to reverse
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  engineer it. You have to.
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  That's part of it. Y'all.
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  That's part of it. You have to see how does this
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  benefit them, make it worth their while, Win, win.
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  Like I said when I say this, y'all, I'm not talking about you
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  losing. You win too, because you're
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  getting what you want out of it. You know what I'm saying?
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  It's like a teach. It's like teaching yourself how
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  to do a win, win situation, how to do a win, win situation.
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  How do you win here? How do you win here?
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  Ask yourself, how do you win here?
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  And also make them feel like they're winning?
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  They might not be winning. Y'all this is the thing right
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  here. That sounds manipulative,
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  manipulative, but they might not be winning.
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  You mean you make them feel like they're winning, but they might
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  not be winning? You see what I'm saying?
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  Like I say, it's the benefit you.
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  How does this benefit them? But in the end, you're trying to
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  benefit yourself, You know what I mean?
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  They might not get a positive out of it, a positive gain out
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  of whatever you're trying to get them to invest in, you know?
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  But you. But you have to make them feel
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  like they are. That's the thing.
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  You have to make them feel like they're getting a positive
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  investment out of whatever they're giving, giving to you,
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  whatever they're donating to you, whatever.
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  They're, you know, whatever they're, you know, whatever the
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  situation is, you have to make them feel like they're getting
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  some type of great benefit from it.
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  Or else do you you end up in any situations where you just lose
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  y'all, where you just lose it just is that you?
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  You, I said you have to make them feel like they're winning.
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  Not for everybody. This doesn't work for everybody.
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  Just a select few narcissistic people that are out there that
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  are may be willing to deal with you, willing to talk to you,
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  willing to negotiate with you on things like that.
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  So you have to make it seem like it benefits them in some way,
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  shape or form. Some other people, you just have
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  to put your foot down. Yeah.
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  And just force them to do whatever you need to do like
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  through the courts, through whatever it is to holding them
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  accountable through, like I said, the court system, law
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  enforcement, whatever it takes to hold them accountable for
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  whatever they've done, what they have done.
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  You know, you have to figure out sometimes you have to take the
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  the tough method and it's hard because sometimes you feel
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  guilty, but sometimes you have to force them to do what you
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  need them to do. Sometimes the negotiation goes
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  out the door and you just say, hey, you need to do this, you
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  need to do this. And if they don't do what if you
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  asking them to do, there needs to be some type of
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  accountability in place, some type of fail safe in place just
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  in case they don't do what you ask, doesn't need to happen
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  right there. Y'all.
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  So another video went on longer than normal.
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  Y'all. But if you made it this far, you
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  might as well hop over to Amazon and get my kids book.
• 11:54
  Remember, it's not your fault. Check it out on Amazon.
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  So I appreciate every single one of y'all.
• 12:16
  Make sure you like to subscribe for more.
• 12:17
  And of course y'all this is our peace.
• 12:20
  Thanks so much for making this into my video.
• 12:22
  Y'all. If you haven't already, make
• 12:23
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  Help you rebuild their self love and authenticity after a touch
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  relationship. Thank you.