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Live Interviews With A Diagnosed Narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on? Beautiful folks, beautiful
• 0:03
  people, beautiful people. Lee Hammock, your favorite self
• 0:07
  aware narcissist is here with a episode of Live for Five.
• 0:12
  We're doing 5 minute interviews, 5 minute Q and as with guests
• 0:17
  that want to hop on and ask questions, anything is on.
• 0:22
  Let no, nothing is off limits. Nothing is off limits.
• 0:27
  I'm going to, if you want to hop on the live, if you're watching
• 0:29
  this live, if you're watching the replay, stay tuned.
• 0:32
  It was very interesting guests to hop on and whatnot.
• 0:35
  Anybody can hop on and ask questions for up to 5 minutes.
• 0:39
  We're doing like quick 5 minute interviews.
• 0:41
  I'm sort of trying to start this thing up like this to have
• 0:44
  people share their stories, ask questions and things like that.
• 0:47
  So if you want to hop on the live, I'm going to drop the link
• 0:51
  in the comments section. I promise you it's not spam.
• 0:55
  Oh, damn it. It's not spam.
• 1:00
  What's going on, Sue? Hope you're doing well.
• 1:03
  The link looks like this. Y'all, It looks like this.
• 1:06
  It's not spam, I promise you. Click the link, it'll ask you to
• 1:09
  let you come on. You don't have to turn on your
• 1:11
  camera either. You can just ask, answer.
• 1:13
  Ask questions with your voice as well.
• 1:15
  You know what I mean? Ask questions with your voice as
• 1:18
  well. The link looks like this.
• 1:20
  What's going on? Sue already said that.
• 1:22
  What's going on? Laura.
• 1:24
  Hi, from the UK. What's up?
• 1:25
  What's up? What's up?
• 1:28
  First question comes in and said, Lee, I will.
• 1:29
  First statement says Lee, I miss my ex.
• 1:32
  Thank you for being on. Yeah.
• 1:34
  It's like, OK, y'all, let me say this right here.
• 1:37
  It's OK to miss your ex. It's not OK to allow them back
• 1:42
  into your space, to ruin your life, to waste your time.
• 1:45
  That's when it becomes not OK, right?
• 1:47
  It's it's OK to miss somebody that you love, that you shared
• 1:50
  feelings with and what not. Ask away.
• 1:52
  Ask you what? Ask you a question.
• 1:53
  You just drop them in here y'all.
• 1:55
  What's up from western NC? I'm in central.
• 1:58
  I think Raleigh is central NC, maybe central EI don't know I'm
• 2:03
  new to this channel but you are very informative.
• 2:05
  Appreciate it. That's the goal.
• 2:07
  That's the goal. I messed around with my neighbor
• 2:10
  who is a narcissist. First red bag is fucking with
• 2:14
  your neighbor. You got to leave them neighbors
• 2:16
  alone. I tried to end it last year,
• 2:19
  last September and up until now. He won't stop.
• 2:22
  Anyways, Holly, we love you. Look, you got to stop messing
• 2:25
  with these neighbors, Co workers.
• 2:27
  All of them will ruin your life 'cause you, you have to ask
• 2:30
  yourself what happens if this blows up, right?
• 2:34
  What happens if this blows up? And then we got the first people
• 2:36
  in hopping in the chat thing in chat.
• 2:39
  Can you hear me? I don't know if you can hear me.
• 2:45
  Yes, I can. What's going on?
• 2:46
  How you doing? Hi.
• 2:48
  I'm doing well. I just got in bed.
• 2:50
  I come out of bed and just got in bed and just just saw the you
• 2:53
  were live and I just decided to try out what you just mentioned.
• 2:58
  OK, what's going on? How can I help you out today?
• 3:00
  Welcome to Live for Five. I'm not really sure what you
• 3:06
  have going on. I'm just, I'm just interviewing
• 3:08
  people asking like if you have any questions you want that,
• 3:10
  that are stuck on your mind, any, anything that's lingering
• 3:14
  that you want to talk about anything just.
• 3:15
  Well, I'm, I'm currently doing some custody issues with my
• 3:21
  ex-husband, who I found out throughout that our separation
• 3:26
  was a, a vulnerable narcissist. Once I put that piece together,
• 3:30
  everything kind of made a lot of sense regarding our
• 3:32
  relationship. So I used a paralegal for our
• 3:35
  divorce and I just found out that she's now helping him to
• 3:43
  get more time with my daughter. So it's just kind of been a
• 3:48
  little bit of a cluster with all of that lately, but that's,
• 3:52
  that's kind of where I am. I have a a a call with a lawyer
• 3:57
  tomorrow. So is that so?
• 4:00
  Is this legal? Is that legal to go from helping
• 4:03
  you to helping the next person like that?
• 4:04
  Is that even legal? No.
• 4:07
  Yeah, that was just like how? Do you get from helping you
• 4:10
  neither neither one of them really know that that.
• 4:13
  So it's it's just an interesting, interesting
• 4:16
  situation. So just I you know, it's one of
• 4:19
  those things that people that are just like, you know, nothing
• 4:21
  he should do should surprise you.
• 4:22
  And it's I just continually am surprised.
• 4:26
  So just, you know, I know from experience to not ever really
• 4:30
  put anything past a manipulative narcissistic type.
• 4:36
  One, one thing that I realized and this was from talking to so
• 4:39
  many people over the last few years is that I don't put
• 4:41
  anything past anyone. Anybody is capable of anything,
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  especially when their backs are against the wall and they feel
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  like they're about, they're about to lose whatever type of
• 4:50
  control or access they have to you.
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  A lot of times that's what ends up happening.
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  Like they, they will come out and do all of this stuff and
• 4:58
  whatnot to disrupt your peace and then like try to get the
• 5:01
  paralegal to turn on you, which is, which sounds illegal to me,
• 5:04
  but I'm not, I'm not a lawyer. So it just doesn't sound like
• 5:08
  that right there. It's, it makes sense to be
• 5:11
  legal, right? I don't know if you can still
• 5:17
  hear. Me.
• 5:17
  No, I am OK. Yeah, I can.
• 5:19
  I can still hear you. I just.
• 5:21
  It's just interesting, kind of funny that I'm in this situation
• 5:25
  right now. I didn't even know that I was
• 5:27
  going to be able to talk to you. It's just I've I've been like
• 5:30
  debating signing up to do a one-on-one with you just about
• 5:34
  some of my situation with my with my ex-husband and we have a
• 5:39
  10 month old daughter. Yeah.
• 5:42
  On my one on ones that we go a lot and go into great detail,
• 5:45
  there's a lot some people in chat I've done one on ones with.
• 5:48
  So unless we go into greater detail and you know, you can
• 5:51
  share a little bit more information if that's something
• 5:52
  you want wanting to do later on or whatnot.
• 5:56
  So because it's kind of like I know you can't share everything
• 5:59
  on here right now because this type of stuff, somebody might
• 6:03
  find it like that's that's that's my that's my ex-wife.
• 6:05
  And then you know, you know, you know what I'm saying?
• 6:07
  So you're going to keep some things to yourself and whatnot,
• 6:09
  right? So it's a very unique process,
• 6:13
  but I would, I would just say stay prepared because you just
• 6:15
  never know what comes next. You never know what they'll
• 6:17
  throw at you. And in this situation, it
• 6:19
  arises. It sound like he might end up
• 6:20
  dating the paralegal or something like that, which
• 6:22
  wouldn't surprise me. So you have to watch out for
• 6:24
  that as well. Yeah, I've Yep.
• 6:29
  They'll, they'll try to infiltrate your inner circle
• 6:32
  and, and, and mess with your life.
• 6:35
  A lot of men will do that and. I mean, yeah, and I've noticed
• 6:38
  it because I've been trying to get have him have less and less
• 6:44
  contact with me as far as seeing me communication anything.
• 6:48
  It's just the further that I've been distancing myself from him
• 6:54
  kind of. I don't know that I would want
• 6:57
  to say the word like worse, but just the way that he's showing
• 7:01
  up is it's just interesting to see how like you like you say
• 7:08
  the chameleon just the the way that that that he's presenting
• 7:13
  himself now was not the person that I was married to for five
• 7:15
  years. So now.
• 7:17
  He's trying to survive like like the like the chameleon.
• 7:20
  They change colors. He's trying to survive now.
• 7:24
  They change colors depending on what environment they are they
• 7:26
  are in, but they're still the same chameleon.
• 7:32
  Yeah, it it takes time to get past it though.
• 7:34
  But I feel like you're moving in the right direction.
• 7:35
  You just got to just stay prepared and try not to get
• 7:38
  flustered because a lot of times they will try to wear you down
• 7:42
  and disrupt your peace, you know?
• 7:43
  Because like if you're not of sound mind and body, they feel
• 7:46
  like they can take advantage of you, especially in the courtroom
• 7:49
  and whatnot. I will say this, I have been
• 7:51
  watching. All.
• 7:53
  Videos and I've learned a ton from you and I've been able to
• 8:00
  approach him and everything differently with a lot of the
• 8:05
  things that I've learned from you.
• 8:06
  So I'm just grateful that that you've out, you're out there and
• 8:11
  you've had such free content and it, it's been a huge help for
• 8:17
  me. Hey I I love to hear it.
• 8:19
  That's my goal is to help as many people.
• 8:21
  That, yeah. So, so thanks for hopping on and
• 8:25
  whatnot. And Sharon, thanks for being the
• 8:26
  first one to to hop on and and whatnot.
• 8:28
  I had no idea what I was doing. Honestly.
• 8:31
  I was like, OK, he just said that here I am and I'm like
• 8:33
  what? Hold on a second.
• 8:35
  I was about to go to bed. Well, thanks for breaking the
• 8:38
  ice. Thanks for hopping on and
• 8:39
  whatnot. Yeah, OK.
• 8:40
  Gave me permission structure. I appreciate you hopping on.
• 8:42
  Like seriously, take care of yourselves all.
• 8:44
  Right. Thanks Lee all.
• 8:47
  Right. Bye bye.
• 8:47
  Yay, I love it y'all. I love when people hop on.
• 8:49
  Thanks for thanks. Shout out to her for being brave
• 8:51
  and hopping on and whatnot, she said.
• 8:56
  I Bailey. I immediately stopped sleeping
• 8:58
  with him for good and when it got checked, thank goodness.
• 9:00
  Oh yeah, I saw some people in the conversation talking about
• 9:02
  getting infected with STDs and that can be super rough.
• 9:05
  What is going on? Can you hear me?
• 9:09
  Says G Pender. Can you hear?
• 9:11
  Me. Yeah.
• 9:11
  What's going on? How you doing?
• 9:12
  I'm good. How are you?
• 9:13
  I'm doing. Great, doing great.
• 9:15
  What is up? This is so exciting talking to
• 9:18
  you. I just, I wouldn't say just
• 9:22
  about a year ago, I got out of a narcissistic relationship.
• 9:25
  We were together for about 3 years.
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  He did everything that you can think of, physically abuse,
• 9:31
  emotionally, financially, every kind of abuse that you can think
• 9:35
  of. We separated in August of 2024.
• 9:40
  I have not talked to him until about March of this year.
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  He reached out to me through e-mail.
• 9:50
  OK, once that first e-mail came through, I was hesitant about
• 9:54
  talking. So we did talk.
• 9:56
  I did. And that no contact.
• 10:00
  Then I just felt in my spirit that this wasn't a good idea.
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  So I just again stopped talking to him recently.
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  He text me on my text now number because that's the only way he
• 10:11
  can get in contact with me now since, you know, connecting back
• 10:14
  in March. So he sent me a picture of a
• 10:19
  text message talking to his new supply telling her that he's in
• 10:24
  contact with me now. So I looked that up.
• 10:27
  Isn't that like triangulation? Yes, that's absolutely
• 10:32
  triangulation. There's no other reason to send
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  that message other than to try to show people that there is the
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  triangle has developed, right? And he's at the top.
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  He's at the top and has y'all on the edges going at each other,
• 10:46
  right? Because sometimes in these
• 10:48
  positions right here, they will they'll you, you'll start to
• 10:52
  work harder to to beat her and she'll start working harder to
• 10:55
  beat you. And it's just manipulation.
• 10:57
  That's why I'm saying stay in no contact is probably the best bet
• 10:59
  for you because with him doing that it just shows you that he's
• 11:03
  still the exact same person, like he hasn't changed.
• 11:07
  Not at all like I see that and then of course I backed off
• 11:10
  because I'm, I'm healed. I'm I'm still traumatized about
• 11:13
  the shit that he put me through. But mentally I can talk about it
• 11:17
  without crying. So just today he texted me and
• 11:23
  told me that he had a stroke and he just came home from the
• 11:26
  hospital. Oh Lord.
• 11:29
  I know it's always a story with this guy.
• 11:31
  It's always a story. I didn't even respond back.
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  I was just like, I'm not going to do this.
• 11:36
  But then so you. Don't care about my stroke.
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  You don't care about my mental, my health.
• 11:39
  Wow. Wow, you really are heartless.
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  I knew you was heartless. I knew you was heartless.
• 11:42
  That's what the text message said.
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  It said. I just got out the I had a
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  stroke last Thursday. I just got out the hospital
• 11:47
  yesterday. If you care, I was.
• 11:53
  You don't care. You.
• 11:55
  Don't care. You didn't die.
• 11:57
  Like it was so many mixed emotions with that situation.
• 12:02
  And it's just like, how do you expect me to care when you've
• 12:06
  done so many vile things to me and now that I didn't play into
• 12:12
  your your web two weeks ago, now you want to throw this stroke in
• 12:16
  my face? It's just all a game.
• 12:18
  So it's just like, do I respond or don't respond?
• 12:23
  So in that situation right there, I would not respond to
• 12:25
  him right? Because like he's already trying
• 12:27
  to guilt trip you if you care, let's see him trying to guilt
• 12:30
  trip you into responding to him, into talking to him and dealing
• 12:34
  with him again, you know, and if he did have a stroke trying to
• 12:36
  get probably trying to get you to take care of him.
• 12:38
  You know, I'm you know what, I'm hungry if you care.
• 12:43
  You know, I'm starving If you care, I need to use the
• 12:47
  bathroom. If you care, whatever the case
• 12:49
  may be, right. So he'll try to take advantage
• 12:51
  of you, your kindness, and they will weaponize your kindness in
• 12:54
  those situations right there. Like seriously.
• 12:58
  So I wouldn't even respond to him because it it doesn't seem
• 13:00
  like it's worth it to respond because you'll just get sucked
• 13:03
  into this situation and then it will just become a.
• 13:06
  Very. Yeah, a very continuous cycle,
• 13:10
  absolutely. Yeah, I think I'm so much better
• 13:13
  off without him. It's just like when somebody's a
• 13:16
  constant for so long, you get used to what you've been going
• 13:20
  through, so it's just like easier to go back.
• 13:23
  But I can't go back this time. And I I feel bad for not
• 13:26
  responding but. No, that's the point though.
• 13:31
  That's the that's the point. He wants to prey on your empathy
• 13:34
  in those spaces right there to make you feel bad for not
• 13:36
  responding to him. You know, that's why he led, he
• 13:38
  led off. If you care, you see what I'm
• 13:40
  saying? That that try that's he's trying
• 13:42
  to trigger your empathy right there.
• 13:43
  He's trying to activate your empathy right there in that
• 13:46
  situation. So you have to be very, you have
• 13:48
  to be very careful in that space right there.
• 13:52
  OK, that makes sense. That makes sense.
• 13:54
  I just wanted to revoke on that. I just another, you know,
• 13:57
  listening ear another. Losing.
• 14:00
  Don't do it. But that's what I'm here for.
• 14:03
  So thanks. Thanks for hopping on and
• 14:04
  sharing. I know it's very tough to do
• 14:06
  with this situation, but restarting no contact, blocking
• 14:09
  him and setting yourself free, it's probably the best thing,
• 14:11
  right? Because like, if not, you're
• 14:13
  going to be over there taking care of him, I promise you.
• 14:15
  And then he he will take advantage of you.
• 14:18
  OK, understood. Thank you.
• 14:20
  All right. No problem, thanks for hopping
• 14:21
  on and sharing all. Right, have a good one.
• 14:23
  All right, you too. Be safe.
• 14:27
  Yay got people hopping on. Y'all got people hopping on
• 14:32
  before I grab the next person. Y'all My coaching, my courses,
• 14:36
  my one on ones. Everything is available at
• 14:38
  mentalillness.net. Everything Ioffer is a mental
• 14:43
  illness.net coaching courses, support group, my support group,
• 14:47
  everything is on there so check it out.
• 14:48
  Mental illness.net I got some people.
• 14:52
  Allison, what's going on? Hope you're doing well.
• 14:54
  I got to meet Allison. I got to meet Allison in my
• 14:55
  workshop in Durham, Y'all. Yay.
• 14:59
  I appreciate you getting through, Allison.
• 15:00
  Like, seriously, I had a good conversation with Caitlin the
• 15:02
  other day as well. We had.
• 15:03
  How you doing, Caitlin? I told you.
• 15:04
  I told you I was gonna remember you.
• 15:05
  Hope you're doing well. Hope you're doing well.
• 15:08
  I got someone else popping up here.
• 15:09
  What is going on? Can you hear me?
• 15:15
  I don't know if you can hear me or not.
• 15:20
  Testing. Testing 1212 Testing, Testing
• 15:23
  1-2. Might have to bring it back up
• 15:26
  in a second. AD says your device.
• 15:29
  I'm trying to bring this person to AD up, but it says your
• 15:30
  device is not connected, so I'm going to go to the next person
• 15:33
  in line. Can you hear me?
• 15:34
  It says Marcy. Yes, I can hear you.
• 15:37
  What's going on? How you doing today?
• 15:39
  I'm good. We had a one-on-one but I'm
• 15:42
  using a different name. OK.
• 15:45
  Yeah so my ex-husband we're going through a bitter divorce.
• 15:51
  I got 2 questions. The GAL that's like the lawyer
• 15:56
  for the kids. Yeah.
• 15:58
  We have one of those. I had an incident where my
• 16:02
  ex-husband had touched my sister when she was like 16.
• 16:06
  Oh Lord. Tell me until after I left him
• 16:10
  and I was like, wow, why didn't you tell me?
• 16:13
  But I understand, you know, she was young and so that's why I
• 16:17
  got the GAL because they're there if you have concerns about
• 16:21
  your kids safety, you know, going through the divorce,
• 16:23
  they're like there's to be the lawyer for the kids.
• 16:26
  So she did this investigation. I literally had proof where my
• 16:33
  ex husband's therapist, he admitted this to his therapist
• 16:37
  in front of me while we were in therapy post separation because
• 16:42
  I said you need to get some help for this.
• 16:44
  You're touching kids. He has no limitations.
• 16:48
  Yeah. That my sister would not tell.
• 16:50
  And he was right. She didn't tell for 17 years.
• 16:53
  Oh my God, yeah. And so the, the guardian at
• 16:56
  litem, she tells my lawyer that, oh, I, I don't think he's a
• 17:01
  danger to the kids. What?
• 17:03
  I think he's OK. I, she spoke with the kids and
• 17:06
  the kids are like, you know, my dad is cool.
• 17:08
  Whatever. I'm like, are y'all serious?
• 17:12
  So it's like he has worked this evil magic on this woman who is
• 17:19
  a lawyer. I'm like, she has evidence.
• 17:22
  So I'm about to have to like have my lawyers talk to the
• 17:26
  judge about this other party because you think he's cool.
• 17:30
  He's going to be cool around the kids for what reason?
• 17:36
  What's your take on that? And then I'll get to the second
• 17:39
  question. So in that situation right
• 17:41
  there, I feel like, yeah, you have to be prepared because the
• 17:45
  narcissistic person's mask is going to be tough to crack
• 17:48
  because yeah, he, he touched, he touched your sister, which is an
• 17:52
  absolute horrid thing to happen, right?
• 17:54
  But other people might have a different view of him, right?
• 17:57
  Because he didn't do it to them. So it's just like sometimes if
• 18:00
  there's not proof or evidence right now and then you're like
• 18:04
  you said, people are are willing to vouch for him, it's very
• 18:07
  tough to take that mask off because he's going to be on his
• 18:09
  best behavior. So it's just like because he's
• 18:12
  going to be on his best behavior because he's going to be trying
• 18:14
  to protect himself because he's going to be trying to turn
• 18:17
  people against you. You have to be prepared to just
• 18:19
  not react as well, right? You have to be, you kind of have
• 18:22
  to be stoic and in court and whatnot.
• 18:25
  And hopefully the truth will outweigh the falsities and the
• 18:28
  the lies that he's telling didn't make the mask crack
• 18:31
  because sometimes they're waiting on you to crack.
• 18:33
  They try to exhaust you and whatnot in these situations, in
• 18:36
  these scenarios, right. So you guys, you absolutely have
• 18:38
  to be safe and protect yourself because he might, like I said,
• 18:40
  he might go be in there, you might be in there.
• 18:42
  He won't he'll go in there and lie and then he will wait.
• 18:45
  He will, he will want you to react to the lie in court or in
• 18:48
  front of other people because he'll be just calm, cool and
• 18:51
  collected like y'all see? Y'all gonna believe that right?
• 18:55
  Look how calm I am, you say? And that works on people who
• 18:57
  don't understand, manipulate, manipulation and abuse.
• 19:00
  Emotional abuse. OK, I'm a I'm a stay calm, but
• 19:04
  I'm still it's going to have to be addressed because she's.
• 19:07
  Address it. But just, yeah, don't you can't
• 19:10
  like see, it's, it's a lot of time, It's the way you address
• 19:13
  it that matters in front of other people, right?
• 19:16
  Because it really does. And I hate to say that because
• 19:18
  some people will judge you by the way you react, right?
• 19:21
  You're like she crazy. You see what I'm saying?
• 19:22
  Even though you're reacting to the.
• 19:24
  Truth. Even though it's appropriate to
• 19:26
  act crazy at that moment, Yes. Absolutely.
• 19:29
  My other question is I got a long history with this person
• 19:33
  and the in laws and I know the whole dynamic and who's the
• 19:36
  matriarch and who's the black sheep all that.
• 19:39
  So my ex-husband was the golden child so he can burn somebody
• 19:43
  house down and they're like, oh, it was it was OK.
• 19:46
  It was, you know, he needed to do that.
• 19:50
  So I ran into one of my in laws today and she's a college
• 19:56
  student, real young. And so she was a kid through our
• 19:59
  whole relationship. I felt the T to her.
• 20:04
  I said we going through a divorce.
• 20:06
  He touched my sister. I hope you'll be safe in that
• 20:09
  family. You know, it's some things going
• 20:11
  on in that family and I hope that you, you know, take care of
• 20:14
  yourself so. My question is, what's your take
• 20:18
  on me exposing him? Because I'm at the point where I
• 20:24
  am going to start telling people that He told me you had cancer
• 20:28
  and you don't have cancer. He told me this and that's not
• 20:31
  true. Like I'm at that point.
• 20:34
  OK, so we're telling people telling.
• 20:36
  So I'm not saying don't do this, but we're telling people that
• 20:39
  help or hurt your case. You see what I'm saying how how
• 20:45
  I just know how the court systems work where you are.
• 20:48
  Because sometimes when you if you tell too many people that
• 20:50
  right there, he can just be like, yeah, you see, she's going
• 20:52
  around trying to ruin my reputation.
• 20:53
  She is turned into a smear campaign.
• 20:55
  Like she has no proof, but she's saying this right here.
• 20:58
  But you see how they can flip be flipped on you right there.
• 21:00
  So I'll be very careful in that space right there.
• 21:03
  You know, I'm not saying don't share it.
• 21:04
  Don't tell me because he needs to be exposed because he did it.
• 21:07
  But you have to kind of be very careful with that into some of
• 21:10
  these situations, right? You don't want to be silenced,
• 21:12
  of course, because if he did the shit, he needs to be punished
• 21:14
  for it, of course, right. But you want to be protect.
• 21:18
  You also want to protect yourself as you go forward with
• 21:20
  the case as well, right, Because sometimes they will use that
• 21:23
  against you know, you be surprised.
• 21:24
  You'd be shocked at that. In law gets called as a witness
• 21:27
  against you. Like, wait, what happened?
• 21:28
  Who is this? I I thought I talked to you on
• 21:30
  the on the campus. You see what I'm saying?
• 21:32
  So you got to be prepared for that as well, you know, because
• 21:35
  really it depends on who you who you share it with, because it's
• 21:37
  going to get back to him. Of course, if that's his in law,
• 21:39
  if that's his family, he's going to hear that and he's going to
• 21:42
  report it to his attorney or whoever is trying to defend him.
• 21:45
  And they're going to try to it might they could find a way to
• 21:47
  use it against you, right. So I should be very uniquely
• 21:49
  careful about doing that because sometimes even if sharing it
• 21:51
  online, like you expose it online, they can use that
• 21:54
  against you. You see, it, it just something
• 21:56
  because I've heard cases that they go through your tik Toks
• 21:58
  and like look at this TikTok right here where he was, she was
• 22:00
  there was no proof, there's no guilty verdict, but she started
• 22:02
  telling people this, you see, and they use it against him in
• 22:05
  court. So you guys got to be very
• 22:07
  careful when the court system are involved, right?
• 22:09
  I'm not saying he didn't do it or, or just I'm not trying to
• 22:11
  silence you at all. I'm just trying to give you to
• 22:13
  to warn you and whatnot, OK? I'll do it after the divorce is
• 22:18
  final. OK, yeah, just just just protect
• 22:20
  yourself, OK? Seriously.
• 22:22
  All right, All right. Thanks for having on.
• 22:24
  All right. OK, What's going on, y'all?
• 22:30
  What? What?
• 22:31
  What? What?
• 22:31
  What? So yeah, if y'all would just
• 22:34
  join the live, y'all hit the like button, hit the like button
• 22:36
  like October just said right here, October 3074, hit the like
• 22:39
  button so we can get more people in the in the live.
• 22:41
  Y'all, if we get more people in this thing we can go on for we
• 22:44
  can go on for a little bit longer.
• 22:46
  David, you asked for the link. I just dropped the link.
• 22:47
  I just dropped the link right here.
• 22:48
  Y'all hit the like button. Y'all, I appreciate y'all
• 22:51
  joining like if you're on Facebook or YouTube, hit the
• 22:54
  like button so we can keep moving.
• 22:56
  Jay story, can you hear me? Yes.
• 22:58
  What's going on? How you doing?
• 23:00
  I'm I'm doing all right. How are you?
• 23:02
  I'm doing well, doing well. What is going on tonight?
• 23:05
  This is so random. I actually just talked to my
• 23:08
  husband. We're separated and I I actually
• 23:12
  just came in from talking to him.
• 23:15
  I had cut contact at one point. I do, I guess I don't, I think
• 23:24
  he might be open to like looking into the fact that he may have
• 23:31
  narcissistic personality disorder.
• 23:34
  I, I started watching your content last year to try to
• 23:37
  figure out like what was going on 'cause I was feeling crazy
• 23:41
  and I was diagnosed with ADHD light late.
• 23:43
  So he hasn't had a way of kind of just twisting everything to
• 23:48
  be whatever was going on. It was something that was caused
• 23:52
  by me and my ADHD and stuff. But so at one point I was
• 23:56
  looking up like the difference between autism and narcissism
• 23:59
  cause one of his sons is is autistic.
• 24:01
  And so with everything that's happened, it's been about six
• 24:07
  years since I've known him and I feel like he might be open.
• 24:13
  But I don't know if that's just trying to hold on to me 'cause I
• 24:17
  did just file paperwork for divorce.
• 24:19
  I just sent it to him yesterday, but I'm wondering if you if he
• 24:23
  did like a one-on-one with you, is that worth it do you think
• 24:30
  just for him to? So, so being realistic, I talked
• 24:35
  to people who are, I talked to do my one-on-one coaching.
• 24:37
  I talked to survivors, therapists, other coaches and I
• 24:41
  also talked to other narcissists as well, right?
• 24:44
  It really just depends, because typically it I'll just be real
• 24:48
  with you. It doesn't really help unless
• 24:50
  it's something that he actually wants to do, right?
• 24:53
  Because being realistic, being realistic, I've had the talks
• 24:56
  before with people who just use the one-on-one as a tool to try
• 25:00
  to get back into the relationship, right?
• 25:02
  They'll say all the right things.
• 25:03
  But you know, I, I'm, I'm a narcissist, right?
• 25:05
  I'm, I'm listening to it. Like you saying too much of the
• 25:07
  right stuff. You know, it's just like, yeah,
• 25:08
  I'm. Willing to work.
• 25:10
  In. That's exactly what I, I was
• 25:14
  wondering, sorry to cut you off because that's what the issue
• 25:18
  has been. He's seeing therapists.
• 25:20
  He's he's putting the work in. He's doing what he's supposed to
• 25:22
  do. I mean, there's a lot to our
• 25:25
  story. I thought about doing maybe a
• 25:26
  one-on-one. I think I'd like to do one with
• 25:28
  you at some point, but I just the, the thing that I'm hesitant
• 25:32
  about, the reason why I'm hesitant about even just
• 25:35
  continuing to try with him is that he did a neurological
• 25:40
  testing and I got all of the results.
• 25:44
  And I mean, he's very, very intelligent.
• 25:47
  Like I really, I really think he wants things to change.
• 25:53
  And when I heard you, the last video I watched of yours was
• 25:57
  about how you knew when you were like 8, you just felt different
• 26:01
  and you kind of mimicked your twin.
• 26:04
  And it just made me think of a lot of what I know about his
• 26:08
  childhood and his trauma. And I, I just, my heart hurts
• 26:11
  for him, but I know that it's I can't, it's not healthy for me
• 26:20
  to keep going with him if he doesn't acknowledge.
• 26:25
  But I guess what you said it a minute ago.
• 26:29
  What I was wondering is if you would be able to tell just by
• 26:34
  talking to him, because he does not come across with like he,
• 26:40
  he, he just comes across a really, really, really good guy.
• 26:44
  And he is, I think he really is, but I'm just afraid to keep
• 26:50
  trying because nobody sees what I've seen with him.
• 26:57
  Yes. But I didn't know.
• 26:59
  I mean, I guess it it probably can't hurt if he's willing to
• 27:01
  talk to you. Yeah, so, so you say it can't
• 27:05
  hurt, but it could if you end up back with him and he's not being
• 27:07
  genuine, right? So it could hurt.
• 27:10
  It's just like like in that space right there.
• 27:13
  So you want to any. So it has to be something that
• 27:15
  he wants to do, right? Like I've had, I've had
• 27:18
  conversations with people who are narcissists that hop on
• 27:20
  right? And they'll be like, they don't
• 27:23
  even know who I am. I.
• 27:24
  Was just like. My wife just sent me this link.
• 27:26
  So I had a meeting with him and I was like, you know, so it's
• 27:31
  just in that space. It would be very difficult to
• 27:34
  just say, yeah, he he can he be willing to get help for like, it
• 27:37
  has to be something that he wants to do like you.
• 27:40
  He has to book it for himself, right?
• 27:41
  You can't do it and send him a link, right?
• 27:44
  You. Can't do that.
• 27:47
  The I mean, this has been a very long process and I've gone
• 27:51
  through everything with him with like the denial and the blaming
• 27:54
  and the twisting and the I mean, I know too many like psychology
• 27:59
  words now. I didn't have a name for all of
• 28:01
  it before, but I do think So what I hear from him, I, I
• 28:07
  talked to him tonight and I've been doing really good myself
• 28:09
  because I got to the point where I was like, OK, this is like my
• 28:11
  limit. I need to go because I tend to
• 28:14
  like, I want to help, I want to help people.
• 28:17
  But when he went to the neurological to do that testing,
• 28:22
  I read all of the paperwork and he wasn't honest.
• 28:25
  It was like partial truths. But I could see where they would
• 28:29
  really just look at him like the victim, like of childhood trauma
• 28:33
  and all of that. So if, if he did get on
• 28:37
  questioning, if he was, you know, 'cause I'm, I'm, I don't,
• 28:43
  I think that from what I'm hearing, it is different and I
• 28:46
  think that he's willing to kind of look into it, but I just
• 28:50
  didn't know how much you might be able to see if he got on
• 28:54
  saying, you know, is this a possibility if.
• 29:00
  Yeah. And so it just, it really just
• 29:02
  depends, right? Because the possibility exists
• 29:04
  that he could. It really just depends on the
• 29:07
  true intent behind it. I can't like, I don't know him,
• 29:10
  so I can't tell just through the public to him.
• 29:12
  Of course, I had to be around him and observe him.
• 29:15
  Like he can get, like I said, he can get on here and say whatever
• 29:17
  he wants to say and you know, and talk to me and it would
• 29:20
  sound good, you know, but is it, is it actually going to be good?
• 29:24
  It's just, I feel like they need to keep therapy.
• 29:26
  If you can't be honest with a neurological exam or a
• 29:30
  therapist, It just seemed like he would.
• 29:32
  Why would he be honest with me? Well.
• 29:33
  Because I think that he's starting to acknowledge like
• 29:37
  what I told him tonight was like, I've, I've got to, I've
• 29:40
  got to stop this for my health and for my son and all of that.
• 29:44
  But I, he has said a couple like a couple times, like he knows
• 29:49
  I'm the one that was with him the most.
• 29:51
  And I just said, if you want to keep going, talking to all these
• 29:54
  therapists and talking to your friends and, you know, and not
• 29:58
  take what I've been saying and, and look into it more because I
• 30:03
  don't want to do this to hurt him or to blame him or to label
• 30:06
  him. But he's hurting a lot of
• 30:08
  people. And you know, I, I know that I,
• 30:12
  I know enough about myself and enough I still need to heal and
• 30:15
  stuff, but I know a lot of what to do to not let him back in.
• 30:21
  And I am having a hard time cutting it off.
• 30:22
  But yeah. So like I said it, it'd be, it
• 30:26
  would really, truly be something that he has to do.
• 30:28
  Like you can't, you can't book a form, you can't tell.
• 30:31
  Like he has to have his own intent and whatnot.
• 30:34
  His intention and his intent can't be just to get you back,
• 30:37
  right? Because if he really truly
• 30:38
  wanted to get, if he really truly wanted to get help, he'd
• 30:41
  be seeking it out on his own right now while you're not
• 30:42
  together. You see what I'm saying?
• 30:43
  Yeah, yeah, he is. He's just, he just has.
• 30:47
  Some people in. His life.
• 30:49
  I do, though. I Yes.
• 30:50
  Yeah. So I sent him your video and I
• 30:52
  guess I'll just have. I'll just go from there.
• 30:54
  OK, yeah, let's I'm, I'm willing to talk to anybody.
• 30:56
  I don't talk to anybody. I was like, I don't I want to
• 30:58
  get your hopes over just like, you know what, I talked to him
• 31:01
  and it is amazing, you know, that's just, you know, get back
• 31:04
  with him, girl. You know, I wouldn't say that.
• 31:06
  No, he's ready. I don't know.
• 31:09
  He. Was more like if I was wondering
• 31:11
  if you might be able to pick up on some stuff.
• 31:13
  But I guess we we just wouldn't know.
• 31:16
  Yeah, we try. And if he books it, that's fine.
• 31:18
  But I may do it just for myself, just to do one-on-one because I
• 31:21
  do appreciate I was listening to the other two people.
• 31:24
  You, the other couple people you talked to.
• 31:26
  Yeah. I appreciate you all.
• 31:27
  Right. No, I appreciate you for hopping
• 31:28
  on. Thank you for sharing.
• 31:29
  I'm seriously, I appreciate you. Be safe though.
• 31:31
  Take care of yourself. Thank you so much.
• 31:32
  You too. All right.
• 31:34
  Bye bye. Yay.
• 31:36
  So I do talk to narcissists all the time.
• 31:39
  Yeah, I've done one of them. I've probably done five 601 on
• 31:42
  ones with narcissist, right? I really, really, truly have
• 31:46
  over the last few years. So I, I will talk to anybody
• 31:49
  doing this, you know, but it's just I, I just want the intent
• 31:53
  to be right. I want them to just talk to me.
• 31:55
  Matter of fact, before I I let the next person on.
• 31:58
  I did a one-on-one one morning, right?
• 31:59
  I was literally doing a one-on-one one morning.
• 32:03
  It was a woman and her boyfriend and I was like, OK, what's going
• 32:06
  on? She's like, well, he just got
• 32:08
  caught cheating and he said he would talk to he would talk to
• 32:10
  you. He would do anything to get me
• 32:11
  back. I had to hang.
• 32:12
  I I just like look, look y'all, there's nothing I can do because
• 32:16
  he already started off by line. So he he's just talking to me to
• 32:20
  try to get you back. So I just literally cut it off.
• 32:23
  I I literally just ended the zoom and I just refunded them.
• 32:26
  I was like leave the man alone because this is manipulation.
• 32:29
  Next person what is going on? I think it says Kate, Kate, Kate
• 32:32
  can. You hear?
• 32:33
  Me So first this I want to say thank you.
• 32:37
  This whole process for me is really new and I've listened to
• 32:42
  you and others like daily to try to sort all this out, you know,
• 32:49
  and just listening to the previous stories.
• 32:53
  I'm actually a paralegal and yes, and my narc was a childhood
• 33:03
  friend of mine that I knew most of my life.
• 33:08
  And he actually reached out to me through his divorce to, you
• 33:13
  know, have questions in which we ended up eventually starting to
• 33:18
  dating, which I'm really ashamed of.
• 33:23
  So, you know, I've never dated a man like this before.
• 33:27
  I didn't even know really what narcissism was.
• 33:30
  And, you know, I was over the overtime, you know, he was
• 33:35
  justifying, you know, how he was being with prostitutes prior to
• 33:39
  me. Yeah.
• 33:41
  And I was like, kind of thrown back.
• 33:43
  And he would tell me he would see a therapist and she would
• 33:47
  validate that that was OK. And I'm like, oh, my God, no.
• 33:52
  This man, like, locked me in a hotel room for four hours and
• 33:56
  yelled at me while he was violently drunk about me not
• 33:59
  giving him fellatio frequently. So I ended up leaving.
• 34:08
  I made the decision and I did you know all my like research
• 34:13
  and blocked him and found out that after two weeks, after 2
• 34:18
  1/2 years of being together, after two weeks, he was madly in
• 34:21
  love. And the person actually knows me
• 34:26
  and the ex-spouse and me and the ex-spouse have talked and you
• 34:33
  know, she has verified, you know, her physical and a mental
• 34:39
  abuse as well. And it's very similar, you know,
• 34:41
  a lot of transactional. And that's one of the components
• 34:45
  I'm trying to digest is the whole transactional part of it.
• 34:50
  I guess for me, because we've had one brief conversation since
• 34:55
  the split, only like 2 1/2 months ago, three months ago, is
• 35:00
  that he made it very clear that I left and it, I was the love of
• 35:05
  his life and blah, blah, blah. Which is I, I understand that's
• 35:09
  the part, but it's creating a lot of anxiety, I guess for me,
• 35:13
  because I'm after watching all these videos and all this
• 35:16
  hoovering and all these different things, Like I'm just
• 35:19
  worried like, is he going to come back?
• 35:22
  Like, 'cause I don't really want him back.
• 35:24
  But I think for me being in a situation that I've never been
• 35:30
  before, I'm not sure how to like handle it moving forward.
• 35:34
  And just, you know, the different aspects of like me
• 35:39
  being in a close circumference with the new, the new
• 35:43
  girlfriend. And well, you know, we know of
• 35:50
  each other. And actually her best friend
• 35:53
  works with me. So I'm assure that she's hurt a
• 35:58
  lot. And he told me that he told her
• 36:01
  a lot about me. So I'm sure it's not good like
• 36:05
  he says it was, but I'm just really uneasy about the whole
• 36:10
  process of like moving forward and like how maybe dangerously
• 36:15
  he is because revengeful. However, he hasn't reached out.
• 36:21
  He hasn't like other than that small conversation and we
• 36:23
  haven't really talked. So I'm hoping that it'll die
• 36:28
  off, but I'm not sure because this is all new.
• 36:31
  So I guess I'm just kind of looking for some type of I am
• 36:35
  right, I am doing the right thing like 'cause sometimes I
• 36:39
  feel like maybe it was me. I mean, I, I, I don't.
• 36:42
  Unless you were buying the prostitutes for him.
• 36:44
  I don't think it would, no. No, no, I That's one of the
• 36:47
  reasons why I left. Unless, unless you were leaving
• 36:50
  the $40 on the counter when you were going to work in the
• 36:53
  morning, I don't think that was on you, right?
• 36:56
  Because that's where his mindset is at.
• 36:58
  So I don't think it was necessary.
• 36:59
  I don't think it was on you just based on what you just said,
• 37:02
  because they do tend to prey on people.
• 37:04
  And I just feel like when they tell people you to love my life,
• 37:06
  I, I, I swear I hear that too much.
• 37:08
  I feel like that's, that's the, the love bombing line of the
• 37:11
  year right there. You to love my life or I never
• 37:13
  felt this way about anyone else, even though they probably been
• 37:15
  married five times, got 20 kids and like, you're the one for me.
• 37:18
  It's kind of crazy to say, but yeah, will he come back?
• 37:21
  Possibly. You know, sometimes if they feel
• 37:23
  like the door is open, they will try to come back into your life,
• 37:26
  right? Especially if somehow they're
• 37:27
  still in contact with you or still have some type of access
• 37:30
  to you in some way, shape or form, they will try to come back
• 37:33
  and be disrupted to your life in some way, right?
• 37:37
  So they can't, they could be a possibility of what could
• 37:39
  happen. So either way, you want to be
• 37:41
  able to protect yourself because if you don't, he's not going to
• 37:44
  protect you. He's going to try to get his
• 37:45
  needs met, whatever they are, right?
• 37:48
  And you know, and typically in these situations, they don't
• 37:50
  typically care about your physical health.
• 37:52
  He's out here doing the prostitutes thing.
• 37:54
  If he's wild enough to be out here with the prostitutes, he
• 37:56
  probably and not using no type of protection.
• 37:58
  He's probably just going around being a a super spreader
• 38:01
  possibly. Well, that with, you know, he's
• 38:04
  with the new one and it he seems pretty content because, you
• 38:07
  know, she is an ex, a recovering drug addict.
• 38:12
  So you know, she has very needy tendencies and things like that.
• 38:18
  But I'm just concerned that once that situation fails, if there's
• 38:26
  anything that I can do other than making myself knowledgeable
• 38:30
  of just like staying away or keeping low key or you know, I
• 38:35
  like I said, this is all new. This is, I've never been with a
• 38:38
  man like this before. So it's really thrown me for
• 38:41
  like a 360. The whole idea of it is just
• 38:44
  really mind boggling. Yeah.
• 38:46
  But so the best thing you can do right now is be prepared to say
• 38:49
  no, right? Because if you don't, you, he
• 38:52
  can ruin your life. I've seen many of people who are
• 38:55
  not used to these type of relationships who get turned
• 38:57
  around, back and forth, up and down.
• 38:59
  You get you get into this like narcissistic spin cycle and you
• 39:02
  in the ruining your life, right? Because they make you, you start
• 39:06
  acting out of character. You start behaving on the
• 39:07
  character. So it's like, put yourself
• 39:09
  first. I mean I don't know if you need
• 39:11
  to go Google STD's, the new age STD's, or whatever it takes.
• 39:15
  Oh, I've I've had all my tests that I no.
• 39:18
  Understand, No, I was just going go in and Google it to see the
• 39:20
  pictures of people, what they catch.
• 39:23
  Sometimes it just takes doing things like that to show you how
• 39:27
  real it can be. Because if he's doing that type
• 39:30
  of stuff and then he's willing to lie about the therapist
• 39:32
  saying like, I don't think my, if I go to my therapist, like do
• 39:35
  you think it's fine that I, I pay for prostitutes all the
• 39:37
  time? Right.
• 39:38
  Probably. Kick me out of the office, You
• 39:40
  know, like the Sage is like, you know what?
• 39:44
  Hell yeah, that's fine. I'll I'll buy out.
• 39:46
  Next round is on me. That's crazy.
• 39:48
  Right, right. You know.
• 39:50
  Right and you know, I'm, I don't know, and maybe you can validate
• 39:54
  this for me, but like there is multiple components, right?
• 39:59
  Like jealousy and things like that through narcissism and and.
• 40:06
  You know, like there was always just a big issue with my son, my
• 40:09
  son in general. And you know, he really didn't
• 40:13
  like him or like him around. And I think that's part of the
• 40:17
  component of like keeping me away from, from people.
• 40:20
  But I guess just overall, I was just looking for some type of
• 40:23
  validation that I'm like on the right track.
• 40:25
  I'm I'm clear minded about it and understand like what this
• 40:29
  really is. Yeah, no, you're absolutely the
• 40:31
  right track. Just please stay safe and
• 40:32
  protect yourself like at all costs because like this can
• 40:35
  affect every. This could bleed into every
• 40:36
  other aspect of your life. Right, right.
• 40:40
  OK. Well, thank you and thank you
• 40:42
  for everything you do. No.
• 40:43
  No problem, thanks for hopping on, I appreciate it.
• 40:46
  Be safe, take care of yourself. Thank you.
• 40:48
  Bye. Yay love having people hop on.
• 40:52
  Y'all before we hop on. I have a couple other people in
• 40:54
  the in the waiting room. Y'all before we hop on the
• 40:56
  waiting room. Like I said, I do my coaching,
• 40:58
  my courses, everything is available at mentalillness.net.
• 41:04
  Literally everything. My Co.
• 41:05
  I have a support group. I do my one on ones over Zoom
• 41:08
  where I go into greater detail. I know these are just five
• 41:10
  minute interviews y'all, but I go into greater detail over Zoom
• 41:13
  and we're not one-on-one. I changed the color.
• 41:15
  I didn't realize it was my shirt was Bluetooth, but it's mental
• 41:19
  illness.net. Shout out to her for hopping on
• 41:23
  energy. It says you're the devices are
• 41:25
  not connected. I can't have have your own right
• 41:27
  now. So it says what's going on?
• 41:29
  Can you hear me? Yeah.
• 41:31
  Can you hear me? Yeah.
• 41:32
  What's going on? How you doing?
• 41:33
  Today. Hey good so basically I'm just
• 41:37
  trying to figure out if my husband partner of 28 years is
• 41:41
  actually a narcissist. I started watching your videos
• 41:44
  and it seems to match pretty well up with him with all the
• 41:48
  lines. The secret girls.
• 41:52
  And then when I find out, 'cause I try to get to his phone, of
• 41:55
  course, and then it's a invasion of privacy and these females are
• 42:01
  crazy and I only love you and. They're crazy 'cause they're in
• 42:07
  his phone. Well, because he has to text
• 42:10
  them that way in order to get them away from him.
• 42:15
  Oh, oh, so he's such a hot commodity he has to beat him off
• 42:18
  with a stick. Yeah, and it's stupid me since
• 42:24
  day one. Well, you're 1 into the
• 42:28
  relationship. I found out of a girl that was
• 42:30
  lived on the other side of the US, of course.
• 42:32
  So it was just a emotional affair, I guess I could say.
• 42:37
  And then my gut feeling told me there was something up.
• 42:41
  And so get into his phone and there's, you know, the love
• 42:45
  songs and everything like that. And of course I'm the crazy one.
• 42:49
  It's because I'm being nosy, I'm taking me out of context, all
• 42:53
  that good jazz. I promise I'll never do it
• 42:55
  again. I love you, love you, love you,
• 42:57
  you and you and the kids mean everything to me.
• 43:00
  So every couple years it happens again.
• 43:02
  And then this time it was both physical and emotional and had
• 43:12
  that feeling again, got into his phone again, same, same
• 43:16
  roundabout thing, you know, with oh, it's your fault.
• 43:20
  That's what you get for being snoopy.
• 43:22
  He was blaming it, saying that it was his friend's sister's mom
• 43:29
  who had. So do you believe that hell?
• 43:32
  No, I I don't. He's a good talker.
• 43:35
  OK, I'll just, I'll just making sure because I it's come
• 43:37
  tonight. You got to do that.
• 43:38
  You got to ask because I'll ask some people that and they were
• 43:40
  like, it could be. And I'm like, oh, OK, we got, we
• 43:44
  got some work to do, you know? Because most of the time that
• 43:48
  something happens, I cannot prove it 100%.
• 43:51
  I can only the only time I've been able to prove it is twice
• 43:56
  or three times because I went through his phone.
• 44:00
  And so there's always that 1% doubt because he talks so good.
• 44:03
  Even to the point where I've gotten into a car flip accident,
• 44:09
  I'm having seizures, I have cancer, I had radiation.
• 44:12
  You weren't by my side. Where were you?
• 44:16
  And I'm like, when the hell did all this happen?
• 44:19
  You know, it it just in order to I need you here with me to take
• 44:24
  care of me having fake bandages on for where they did injections
• 44:29
  at so I can come to a side. And this last time, he promised
• 44:34
  me he would never do it again and that he would cut this girl
• 44:39
  off completely. So we live separate now.
• 44:43
  And so I went to his apartment and he said, oh, somebody from
• 44:47
  work is picking me up because we have to go deal with patients,
• 44:49
  blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, OK, I had a feeling
• 44:52
  that wasn't true because I come over and his socks and shoes are
• 44:55
  off. And then I stay and he's
• 45:00
  jittering, shaking. He texts us on his phone.
• 45:04
  I look over. It's her and then all of a
• 45:07
  sudden I'm like, let me see your messages.
• 45:08
  If you said we're going to start this all over again and you have
• 45:10
  nothing to do with her. If if I meant so much to you
• 45:12
  would cut her off and he just lost his damn.
• 45:17
  Mine Yep, sound all right. Mind and I left and now it is
• 45:23
  all I love you. It's it's all the love bombing
• 45:26
  again. So I don't.
• 45:28
  Give him another can't. No, it's all I was going to say,
• 45:30
  like this is, is just more of the same because it's like the
• 45:34
  cycle continues. It's kind of like when you're in
• 45:37
  these types of relationship dynamics, it's like you're
• 45:39
  running, running on a hamster wheel of toxicity and you're not
• 45:42
  getting anywhere because as long as you keep going back, you
• 45:45
  getting back on the hamster wheel, right?
• 45:47
  And he thinks it's OK. He's like, as long as I put it
• 45:49
  like a little dangle some carrots out here for she'll just
• 45:52
  keep running like a hamster. You see what I'm saying?
• 45:55
  You know, it's so it's, it's in these spaces right here.
• 45:57
  You have to decide what's best for you because like this, this
• 46:00
  doesn't get better. Because now I think he thinks
• 46:02
  it's part of the relationship, which is why he's over there
• 46:04
  jittering and shaking and just like, you know, just like he
• 46:08
  like he's detoxing or something like that, like he's within in
• 46:12
  withdrawal from a drug or whatever the case may be.
• 46:14
  So it's just like in these situations does not really love
• 46:18
  bombing anymore. It's because, you know, it's not
• 46:19
  love, it's just a bomb, right? So it's just like in this place
• 46:23
  right here is not. I love you so much and but he's
• 46:28
  he's got to the point of living his life the way he wants to
• 46:31
  live his life, especially because y'all not living
• 46:32
  together. It's like he's married, but same
• 46:34
  go at the same time. You know, it's just like I get
• 46:37
  to because he decided to lie to you straight up, just like, oh,
• 46:41
  I'm going on an experimental. What do we say?
• 46:43
  I got to do some something with patients, But this is what he's
• 46:46
  got going on now, right? He's still doing the same thing,
• 46:49
  exhibiting the same behavior. So it's kind of up to you.
• 46:51
  Like what do you want to decide? Because like, it seems like
• 46:54
  there's always going to be somebody else, like so
• 46:56
  narcissist or not, all the behaviors and all these
• 47:00
  behaviors acceptable to you. Because like, the more you pull
• 47:03
  away, the harder he's going to try.
• 47:05
  And once you feel like he got you, then he turns it off and
• 47:07
  just it does process starts over again, you know, So just just
• 47:10
  imagine right now, because you left, you're not dealing with
• 47:13
  him right now. You're off the hamster wheel.
• 47:16
  But then you go back, it's just like you're picking up speed
• 47:18
  again, running this loop again. He's just dangling the carrot
• 47:21
  out there, just coming. You're closer to getting it.
• 47:23
  I'm a cutter. I promise you.
• 47:24
  Run a couple more laps, I'm gonna cut her off.
• 47:27
  And then you end up wasting a lot of your time.
• 47:29
  You know, I don't think you wasted 28 years.
• 47:31
  I know you said you were with him 28 years, but I think once
• 47:33
  you wake up to it and you understand who he is, that's
• 47:35
  when the clock starts on the wasting time.
• 47:37
  Because now you know who he is, right?
• 47:40
  Yeah, because I spend so much time proving myself to him
• 47:43
  because he thinks I'm the one cheating.
• 47:46
  Like he's even gotten burner phones to catch me up and e-mail
• 47:49
  accounts to catch me. Up.
• 47:50
  That's his paranoia kicking in because he, because he knows
• 47:52
  what he's doing. You know, he that he doesn't
• 47:54
  want you to do the same thing that he's doing.
• 47:55
  Sometimes you get narcissistic people, their biggest fear is
• 47:59
  you matching their energy. Like you doing the same thing to
• 48:01
  them that they're doing to you becomes their biggest fear,
• 48:04
  which sounds crazy, but that's the way it goes.
• 48:08
  It sucks we got 4 beautiful kids and.
• 48:11
  No, I don't understand that. But I said it sucks.
• 48:14
  But I think your kids, sometimes the kids are happier when you're
• 48:18
  happy, right? When mom's happy, the kids are
• 48:21
  happy, but mom's sad and and going through with dad because
• 48:25
  dad is doing just what he's doing.
• 48:26
  They don't like that right there.
• 48:28
  So sometimes it's better to be a part than it is to be together,
• 48:31
  you know? But that's the decision you have
• 48:32
  to make for yourself. Like say it's not an easy
• 48:34
  decision, but I feel like because the way he going,
• 48:37
  because the way he's doing right now, what he's doing, he'll just
• 48:40
  keep doing it over and over again because that benefits him,
• 48:43
  right? He's just worried about getting
• 48:44
  his own needs met in this scenario.
• 48:47
  After 28 years I I would have hoped you would have changed by
• 48:51
  now, but. Yeah, you mean you got 28 more
• 48:54
  on you? Because sometimes the people
• 48:55
  just like maybe I maybe I'll give them a little bit more time
• 48:57
  be going to change. They don't.
• 48:58
  They don't get better as they get older.
• 49:00
  They typically get worse because they get older and they feel
• 49:02
  like their looks starting to fade.
• 49:03
  So their behaviors actually start to amplify and intensify,
• 49:07
  right. And they start treating you
• 49:08
  worse because they blame you for it.
• 49:09
  Like they take all their anger out on you.
• 49:12
  Yeah, yeah, I guess it's been a blessing that there's been no
• 49:18
  like physical or anything like that.
• 49:19
  It's just been all emotional. No, some people wouldn't say
• 49:24
  that's a blessing because the emotional stuff sometimes takes
• 49:26
  longer to get over because this can be more deeply seated, more
• 49:30
  deeply rooted than the other stuff can be, right.
• 49:33
  So you just have to kind of give your that's that's what an
• 49:35
  abusive man would say. Just like, well, at least I
• 49:37
  didn't hit you. You know I never, I never hit
• 49:41
  you. Yep, Yep.
• 49:44
  OK. Yeah.
• 49:45
  But do you narcissist? Does it sound narcissistic?
• 49:49
  Yeah. Like I said, you got to like I
• 49:52
  would focus more on the behaviors than the label because
• 49:54
  the behaviors help you heal, right?
• 49:56
  The label, like I said, the label, it can.
• 49:58
  Could it fit? Yeah, it sound like it could
• 49:59
  fit. But I would say focus more on
• 50:01
  the behaviors. Are they acceptable or not?
• 50:03
  Because they they're not going to get better.
• 50:06
  Yeah. That's what I kind of figured,
• 50:08
  OK, just baby cells. Just take, give yourself some,
• 50:10
  give yourself a reprieve, take some time and take a breath,
• 50:12
  right? You don't want to do, you don't
• 50:14
  have to make rast this just decisions right now.
• 50:16
  You just want to give yourself the ability to just make the
• 50:19
  decision down the road if you so choose to, OK?
• 50:21
  Thank you. All right.
• 50:22
  No problem, thanks for having on the sharing.
• 50:23
  Just be safe, take care of yourself.
• 50:24
  Thank you. You too.
• 50:27
  Yeah, yeah. So also, like I said before, I
• 50:30
  hop to the next person, my coaching, my courses, everything
• 50:33
  is available at mentalillness.net.
• 50:36
  I, I just released a new course, a new video series called
• 50:39
  Finding Your Why. It has 40 videos about how to
• 50:43
  heal from narcissistic abuse from a very unique perspective.
• 50:46
  I go into great detail about how to heal from narcissistic abuse
• 50:50
  from a very unique perspective. I saw something that come up
• 50:53
  earlier to you. I got to go back to this, why
• 50:56
  narcissists struggle with object relations.
• 50:58
  So a lot of people refer to this as object constancy.
• 51:00
  First of all, I don't appreciate the the donation to the channel.
• 51:03
  A lot of narcissistic people struggle with object constancy
• 51:06
  and seeing people as real, you know, seeing people as real.
• 51:10
  So it's just like, it really just boils down to north like
• 51:15
  for me, and this is my personal perspective, paranoia, right?
• 51:19
  And not being able to trust other people because we don't
• 51:22
  trust ourselves at our deepest point.
• 51:24
  Like for narcissistic people, we really don't trust ourselves.
• 51:27
  We really don't see anything as being permanent.
• 51:30
  Everything and everyone is, is replaceable.
• 51:34
  And we always have this thought that this thought that you're
• 51:37
  going to leave. So a lot of narcissistic people
• 51:40
  struggle with this. Oh, you ask the same question.
• 51:43
  We appreciate it and say, what is this?
• 51:46
  Also, what are your thoughts on cryptocurrency like Bitcoin?
• 51:49
  Bitcoin, I see. I think it's doing good.
• 51:51
  I haven't gotten involved in the Bitcoin in the Bitcoin crypto
• 51:53
  space and whatnot, but it's a like I, I seen a lot of pay off
• 51:58
  for a lot of people. My little cousin does more
• 51:59
  Bitcoin and stuff like that. But I would just be safe in this
• 52:01
  in this sector because there's a lot of scammers in the crypto in
• 52:05
  the crypto arena, right. A lot of scam people in the
• 52:08
  crypto arena that try to create coins and pump and dumps and all
• 52:11
  that other good stuff. But I think but to add to answer
• 52:16
  the object relation to object constancy party, it really is
• 52:19
  just a very lack of trust and things like that.
• 52:22
  But shout out to you. Thanks for the thanks for the
• 52:24
  channel. Seriously.
• 52:25
  I had a couple other people in here y'all did not got to agree
• 52:27
  to hop out. What's going on?
• 52:29
  Can you hear me, Marie? Hi, can you hear me?
• 52:32
  Yeah. What's going on?
• 52:33
  How you doing today? I'm doing well, so how are you?
• 52:38
  I'm doing, I'm doing great. What's going on?
• 52:40
  OK, I'll watch your videos. You know, you pop in one of the
• 52:43
  head, you know, and art coaches online.
• 52:45
  So shout out to you. So basically, in the summertime,
• 52:51
  I had been walking down Hollywood Blvd. something very
• 52:55
  spontaneous, you know, you meet people.
• 52:58
  A car pulled over Mercedes-Benz. I recognized the face.
• 53:02
  And it had been somebody that in the past tried to get at me
• 53:05
  about four different times. I can only remember one out of
• 53:10
  the four times. And he said one of the times I
• 53:13
  cussed him out. So it sounded like me.
• 53:18
  So, you know, it led to a situation where we wanted, he
• 53:22
  asked me if I wanted to smoke. I didn't want to do that in the
• 53:26
  car, said he had somewhere nearby a place went over there.
• 53:30
  Adult things happen and then about in 48 hours we fell out.
• 53:38
  So the next morning he tried dropping me off at the bank and
• 53:41
  convincing me to do business credit and taking out money to
• 53:48
  flip cars on OfferUp. And let me mind you, he is a
• 53:52
  model 64180, very attractive Puerto Rican black.
• 53:58
  So I don't know, maybe he has his way.
• 54:00
  I'm sure he has with the romance Gammon.
• 54:04
  So basically we had fell out the preview the next day because I
• 54:09
  didn't bring my wallet in the store.
• 54:12
  There is a misconception that turned into an argument and I'm
• 54:16
  leaving out a lot of details for the sake of time.
• 54:18
  But yeah, I ended up getting kicked out the car and you know,
• 54:23
  it had only been two days and I'm on Melrose Blvd.
• 54:26
  I'm not sure if you know about LA, but a broad daylight Melrose
• 54:30
  Blvd. I've only known this man for two
• 54:32
  days. I'm out.
• 54:34
  So I go walking about. I don't crash out.
• 54:37
  I don't hit up his phone crying and fleeting.
• 54:39
  It hasn't been enough time to have that type of attachment,
• 54:41
  right? The next time I see him, he ends
• 54:45
  up deleting everything out of the phone between us.
• 54:49
  All of our videos, all of our text messages, and his number.
• 54:55
  Now when I hopped out the car, I had told him I knew I should
• 55:01
  have left you when you did such and such thing, some kinky stuff
• 55:06
  I wasn't used to in the bedroom, right?
• 55:09
  Something physical. And so that's a key part because
• 55:13
  when he deleted everything out the phone, I wasn't
• 55:16
  understanding until later. Everything came into full circle
• 55:20
  when he started to pop up on me in Hollywood and downtown in
• 55:24
  places parked up right, but I started.
• 55:28
  He wasn't replying to the text, but he was popping up.
• 55:32
  So I googled his phone number, found out his real name.
• 55:36
  Turns out he has a history of a felony sexual assault warrant
• 55:41
  when he was 18. Yeah.
• 55:44
  And then he had corporal spouse injuries, his spouse when?
• 55:50
  Like last year. So now it's coming into my head
• 55:54
  like, OK, he's not trying to keep a paper trail.
• 55:57
  Perhaps one of the nights that I ran into him following me, I let
• 56:02
  him know and this is like a month into knowing him.
• 56:04
  We were only good for two days. Then he did not reply to my
• 56:07
  texts. But every other week I would run
• 56:10
  into him in different parts of the city parked in his car,
• 56:13
  coincidentally. So the second time this
• 56:15
  happened, I come to the car and this is a public space downtown
• 56:20
  nightlife, 9:00 PM playing people out.
• 56:23
  I go to the car window and I'm like, look, I've been reaching
• 56:26
  out to you. I'm not going to keep doing
• 56:28
  this. It's once in a lifetime.
• 56:30
  And I also think you're a romance scammer.
• 56:32
  He's like, no, I just try to put people on that I mess with and
• 56:36
  I'm like, no, I don't think that's the case.
• 56:40
  And he's just like, you know what, just go, just walk, go.
• 56:43
  I'm on the outside of the car. So I I said, you see, This is
• 56:49
  why we fell out because you're too soft.
• 56:52
  What I'm soft be I'll kill you. I'll kill you right now.
• 56:56
  And he's screaming and shouting this in the middle of the
• 56:58
  public, acting like he's reaching over from his glove
• 57:01
  department. And this dude has tattoos on his
• 57:04
  face. Very, very handsome dude, 26
• 57:06
  years old. I'm three months older, so and
• 57:09
  he's from Florida, so we can kind of get the vibe of the
• 57:12
  character of the story. So I walk to the stoplight, I
• 57:16
  walk, then I go walk back to the car and I'm like, hey, you hate
• 57:19
  me that much? Bet you think I'll play it 123.
• 57:24
  So I walk off, he comes back to do damage control and he's like
• 57:29
  when I get in the car, he's like, he mentioned some key
• 57:32
  things and he's like, yeah, I'm very possessive, dominant and
• 57:37
  calculated. After two days.
• 57:42
  Two days turned into a stalking situation and so basically for
• 57:48
  about a month we were on and off because every time he would come
• 57:52
  back and we would have relations, he would ghost me the
• 57:54
  day after. Then I'll hit him up a week
• 57:56
  later, same thing. So by the third time I gave him
• 58:00
  a piece of my mind and it turned into some I'll send the army
• 58:06
  after you and yadda yadda yadda. But I had already sent an
• 58:11
  apology letter for the peace of my mind.
• 58:13
  So I didn't get to read those messages beforehand because it
• 58:16
  was through insta. I was already blocked on the
• 58:18
  phone. So I reached out for my
• 58:20
  reconciliation message. Goodbye, farewell.
• 58:23
  Ended it on a good note, but I didn't read all the previous
• 58:26
  stuff. When I read it, I said I fear no
• 58:28
  one but God, God bless you and take care.
• 58:31
  That was in November right? So now here we are in January
• 58:37
  and people are telling me that he came into somewhere that I
• 58:41
  chill out chill out everyday asking about me.
• 58:44
  Then in February ish I'm told talking to this I realized he
• 58:50
  was posting pictures at a Taco truck that I had been for the
• 58:53
  first time in my life but in downtown.
• 58:56
  But downtown is a very, he's there, you know, it's just a
• 59:01
  local place. So I'm like, it could be a
• 59:03
  coincidence, but let me go and see because he's sending
• 59:06
  subliminals. So I go to the Taco truck and
• 59:08
  there's this girl with the phone booth and I ask her advice,
• 59:12
  like, oh, do you think he's following me?
• 59:14
  I go into the liquor store shortly after and an old man
• 59:18
  comes and finds me and says, hey, there were two dudes
• 59:21
  standing behind you when you were talking to that girl.
• 59:23
  I said, what did he look like there?
• 59:25
  He's like, they're in black titties.
• 59:26
  They kept looking back at you. I'm like 6 foot Mexican tattoo
• 59:30
  right here. And then he was like, yeah, mind
• 59:34
  you, I have not heard from him since November.
• 59:36
  Now here we are three days after after Valentine's.
• 59:42
  I'm leaving out of the local liquor store that I've been
• 59:45
  going to every day. I'm putting my shades on in 1/2
• 59:49
  a millisecond of me putting the shades on and looking to my side
• 59:52
  I see him walking down the street like Michael Myers.
• 59:56
  Had I not looked up fast enough he would have been face to face.
• 59:59
  So I hit the corner, go across the street, right are.
• 1:00:02
  You running? Are you running at this?
• 1:00:04
  Time I'm power walking because I was already on a corner so he
• 1:00:07
  couldn't so once I hit that corner he couldn't see.
• 1:00:09
  So luckily I didn't have to do the run and embarrass myself but
• 1:00:12
  I got a bone out of there. Boom.
• 1:00:15
  Now he reaches out. A couple days after that,
• 1:00:19
  finally he broke the no contact right?
• 1:00:21
  This has been November, so hey beautiful, this is such and
• 1:00:25
  such, right? I don't reply.
• 1:00:29
  And that was February 17th. This is May 7th and I have
• 1:00:32
  received over 30 anonymous. I stopped counting at like 3030
• 1:00:39
  anonymous different numbers, even FaceTime calls.
• 1:00:43
  And none of these numbers are leaving voicemails or text
• 1:00:47
  messages. And I've had this number for
• 1:00:50
  five years and, you know, I don't have anything in my name.
• 1:00:54
  So it's not telemarketers. I know how my phone works.
• 1:00:57
  I don't just get spam calls like.
• 1:01:00
  So at this point I'm starting to think because even as a woman
• 1:01:04
  I've never done anything like that, made as many numbers like
• 1:01:07
  that to reach out. So I'm like and mind you, he
• 1:01:13
  told me I wasn't in his top ten, that his woman needs to have a
• 1:01:17
  house, a car and a business to be his girl.
• 1:01:21
  That what else? He would never date me.
• 1:01:26
  What else? Why did he say why he would
• 1:01:28
  never date you? Oh, well, I guess the the whole
• 1:01:33
  sum of it was just like, you don't have this, you don't have
• 1:01:37
  that. And he's very bougie because
• 1:01:39
  he's the model. And So what else did he tell me?
• 1:01:44
  He was just saying stuff like EW through the text, like EW and
• 1:01:48
  like, like he's just utterly like, I'm not even his type, you
• 1:01:52
  know? So my question is, what the heck
• 1:01:56
  is going on? I don't believe it's love and I
• 1:02:00
  don't believe it's just for sex because you could you not nobody
• 1:02:05
  going to call that many times for some sex like and he can he
• 1:02:08
  has access to women. So my question is, do you think
• 1:02:12
  I'm in danger because in light of the previous threats and the
• 1:02:19
  behavior at the present moment and considering the history that
• 1:02:24
  we don't really have any like? Are are you in danger?
• 1:02:30
  I don't put anything past anyone, but I think that if he
• 1:02:35
  wanted to hurt you or harm you, I think that he would have
• 1:02:38
  already done it. But I think he's, it seems like
• 1:02:39
  he's getting some type of pleasure from doing what he's
• 1:02:41
  doing right now, right. So you could be in danger.
• 1:02:44
  But I say, but it seems like it's just prolonged at this
• 1:02:47
  point. Right now.
• 1:02:48
  I just like you have to stay safe and protect yourself.
• 1:02:50
  And then like you being in that same area, you might want to
• 1:02:54
  change your your location and what not, because I don't know
• 1:02:58
  if you work in that area or whatever the case may be, but
• 1:03:01
  you might want to change your your setup because you seem like
• 1:03:04
  you're too easy to find, right? If you, if you feel like you're
• 1:03:07
  in danger, you could very well be right.
• 1:03:10
  You might want to change your location up and whatnot.
• 1:03:13
  I don't know if you like, say, if you work over there or
• 1:03:15
  whatever the case may be, but if you are always in constantly in
• 1:03:18
  the area, then you might very well be in danger or something
• 1:03:21
  like that, right? I feel like that's what he might
• 1:03:23
  be doing because if you charge is always in that situation like
• 1:03:28
  you want to yeah, hop in the car.
• 1:03:30
  You just you said, I've seen him a couple times you drive by, but
• 1:03:32
  you hop in the bins and whatnot. You might not want to hop in the
• 1:03:35
  next vehicle because people are crazy, right?
• 1:03:38
  You might want to be safe, safe as you possibly can because it
• 1:03:41
  seemed like he's he got some some stuff going on right.
• 1:03:44
  So I would be as safe as possible if I were you.
• 1:03:47
  I would just say protect yourself from a cost because
• 1:03:50
  it's kind of crazy like. In my head I feel like I can't
• 1:03:54
  even have like I can't have a conversation with him or I can't
• 1:04:00
  even link up with him because like.
• 1:04:04
  You might not make it back out. I feel like if you go somewhere
• 1:04:07
  private with him, you might not make it back out right?
• 1:04:10
  Yeah, OK. Yeah, yeah, it's just like you
• 1:04:13
  might not be seen again like we we was looking for Marie.
• 1:04:16
  Yeah she Marie ain't Marie ain't where she normally is at y'all
• 1:04:19
  see Marie like we she got she ain't seen that she got in that
• 1:04:22
  bins. You see what I'm saying?
• 1:04:24
  She's like. And he changes cars.
• 1:04:27
  He's in the Tesla now. I know.
• 1:04:31
  No, so you have, you have to be careful.
• 1:04:33
  I'm serious. Like, you know, you, you might
• 1:04:35
  want to change your area and whatnot because like, people
• 1:04:37
  like this are crazy. You just never really never
• 1:04:39
  know, right? I, I don't put anything past
• 1:04:41
  anyone. I would say that right there,
• 1:04:42
  OK. Well, we got it then.
• 1:04:46
  The real is mental illness. Jesus loves you.
• 1:04:48
  Put your faith in Him for forgiveness of sins.
• 1:04:51
  Yeah, Jesus loves you as well. Just be safe, protect yourself,
• 1:04:54
  OK? OK, Thank you God.
• 1:04:56
  Bless God. Bless you too, Jesus.
• 1:05:04
  Let's pray. He's a cleanser.
• 1:05:07
  Yeah. So I said find another man.
• 1:05:13
  That was a little wild one. Thanks for hopping over, Marie.
• 1:05:16
  For real? Yeah, I have the last piece of
• 1:05:19
  advice to her. Just like change the change your
• 1:05:22
  your location, right? Change your area because that
• 1:05:25
  was two days is wild and he's doing this type of stuff.
• 1:05:28
  Yeah, just be safe. Seriously.
• 1:05:30
  I have another one more person. Can you hear me, Jay?
• 1:05:33
  Yeah, hi. What's going on?
• 1:05:35
  How you doing? Sorry for the wait.
• 1:05:37
  No, thank you so much for having me.
• 1:05:39
  The thing is what's going on with me is that I used to be
• 1:05:43
  around a narcissist and then he got with someone else and it
• 1:05:47
  almost feels like he handed me over to the New Girl, like my
• 1:05:50
  personality and stuff and also me personally.
• 1:05:53
  And so I encountered her yesterday and it felt like she
• 1:05:55
  sucked my soul out of my my being.
• 1:05:58
  Is that normal? So what happened again?
• 1:06:01
  It was kind of quick, he said. You were around narcissist.
• 1:06:04
  Yeah, there was this guy he loved on me.
• 1:06:05
  He's like, he wanted to marry me and stuff like that.
• 1:06:08
  So then I caught feelings for him, right?
• 1:06:10
  And then obviously, you know, narcissists cheat and they like
• 1:06:13
  always have like a runner up or something.
• 1:06:15
  So basically he had her and then he actually got married and
• 1:06:18
  stuff to her. But it feels like he gave her my
• 1:06:21
  personality and then I encountered her and then I just
• 1:06:24
  got hate vibes from her and it felt like she sucked my soul out
• 1:06:27
  of my body. Is is that normal?
• 1:06:29
  She's also a narcissist. I mean, on a, on a, on a
• 1:06:33
  spiritual tip, there might be some like a spiritual thing like
• 1:06:37
  that, right? Because like, I feel like if you
• 1:06:40
  are dealing with somebody like this, yeah.
• 1:06:41
  Could they try to turn the new supply into you possibly, right.
• 1:06:45
  You know, that's a possibility. If you have traits or whatever
• 1:06:48
  that they find admirable or them they're addicted, then yeah,
• 1:06:52
  they could absolutely try to turn the next person into you.
• 1:06:54
  Like haircut wise, the way you dress, your hobbies and things
• 1:06:59
  like that. I've heard of that happen before
• 1:07:01
  but not the the hate vibes. I'm not sure.
• 1:07:03
  Like I'm a believer in energy. If people do give off a certain
• 1:07:06
  type of energies, I do believe in that.
• 1:07:07
  Type of felt like, yeah, I felt like she just like sucked my
• 1:07:11
  energy and my like even like my very like the essence out of me.
• 1:07:15
  Like I feel completely numb today because I I encountered
• 1:07:19
  her yesterday and yeah, it was just, it was just a very
• 1:07:22
  horrifying experience. And mind you, she's the one he
• 1:07:25
  actually chose. So why she's so salty and why
• 1:07:28
  she's so hateful? But she's also a narcissist so.
• 1:07:31
  I mean, yeah, so if she's narcissistic herself, that's one
• 1:07:34
  thing right there that happens. But I would also say in some of
• 1:07:38
  these situations, but they can be still talking about you,
• 1:07:42
  right? They're still talking.
• 1:07:44
  He's still talking about you to her.
• 1:07:46
  Then they could create this jealousy, that triangulation
• 1:07:48
  type of dynamic where they are trying to turn them.
• 1:07:52
  You could end up having a damn enemy for somebody you don't
• 1:07:54
  really know because they talk about you and base things on
• 1:07:57
  you, right? Oh.
• 1:07:57
  My God, that is so frightening. I'm sorry if this is like, you
• 1:08:01
  know, TMI, but yeah, like, I, I would not recommend ever being
• 1:08:06
  with a narcissist. But like, they love bomb you.
• 1:08:08
  They make you feel like they're yours and they're your person.
• 1:08:11
  And then they all of a sudden turn on you.
• 1:08:13
  Like literally he just turned on me.
• 1:08:15
  And then a couple of days later he was with a New Girl.
• 1:08:17
  And then a couple of days later he was engaged to her.
• 1:08:19
  And then a couple of months later he married her and like I
• 1:08:23
  had been around him for like 3 years.
• 1:08:24
  So it's like my God. And then now they have like this
• 1:08:27
  whole like hate dynamic with me. So what do I do?
• 1:08:31
  Do I just try to stay away, no contact.
• 1:08:33
  And then this will this will pass.
• 1:08:35
  This shall pass. I mean, I wish I could, I wish I
• 1:08:39
  could could hit you with the this too shall pass, right?
• 1:08:43
  But I feel like staying away from people like this could be
• 1:08:46
  beneficial for you. But you don't want to get to the
• 1:08:49
  point where you were running across the street or avoiding
• 1:08:51
  things that you want to do, right?
• 1:08:53
  But you want to, you know, I know stay in no contact with
• 1:08:56
  them if it doesn't benefit you in any way, shape or form.
• 1:08:58
  Yeah, that could be beneficial to you.
• 1:09:00
  But also, you know, you just, you don't want to just change up
• 1:09:03
  your life too much to the point where you you're doing things
• 1:09:05
  that you don't like to do now. Yeah, definitely.
• 1:09:08
  Like I'm just, I'm very like scared now because if it felt so
• 1:09:13
  of like, yeah, on a spiritual level, it felt so uncomfortable
• 1:09:16
  being around them. And is it true?
• 1:09:18
  Like I was like watching other places and they were saying
• 1:09:20
  that, you know, narcissists are, are demon LED, like there's a
• 1:09:24
  demon inside of them. Is that true?
• 1:09:26
  I wouldn't necessarily say that's true, but some people
• 1:09:28
  might believe in that right there.
• 1:09:30
  But I'm not going into the demon in space because sometimes when
• 1:09:33
  people say narcissists or possessed or narcissists or
• 1:09:36
  demons, that's taking the responsibility of the person
• 1:09:39
  away, right? You make it on the spirit and
• 1:09:41
  not the actual person. It's kind of, it's kind of like
• 1:09:44
  resolves the person of their, you know, of their guilt or
• 1:09:48
  their, you know. Or whatever accountability.
• 1:09:51
  Yeah, the personal accountability.
• 1:09:52
  Yeah. It just, it's not, it's not her.
• 1:09:54
  It's not, it's not her. It's the demon, you know what
• 1:09:57
  I'm saying? Like, I was so scared.
• 1:10:00
  I was like, because they acted very demonically.
• 1:10:02
  But then I heard that sociopaths are also narcissists.
• 1:10:05
  And although not all narcissists are sociopaths, all sociopaths
• 1:10:09
  are narcissists. So yeah, I just, I got psycho
• 1:10:12
  vibes from both of them. And unfortunately I have a like
• 1:10:16
  a, a good faith kind of situation going on with myself
• 1:10:19
  where I'm like, I'll give everybody the benefit of the
• 1:10:21
  doubt, but yeah, I, I really got to stay away from them.
• 1:10:24
  Is what I'm thinking right or? Yes, to protect your mental
• 1:10:28
  health. Definitely my mental health
• 1:10:30
  because like, I trusted the guy, right?
• 1:10:32
  I really, really trusted him because, you know, they're very
• 1:10:34
  manipulative and, and he was like a big part of my life.
• 1:10:38
  And like, all of a sudden I have to erase that big part of my
• 1:10:41
  life. Like, how does that go?
• 1:10:43
  And then I'm just like drawing a blank.
• 1:10:45
  Yeah, yeah, I would say yeah, you had to protect yourself in
• 1:10:48
  these situations, right, Because still dealing with him or
• 1:10:50
  talking to him or or her just seem like it's emotionally
• 1:10:53
  draining or, you know, on the energy side, it just drains
• 1:10:56
  your. Energy.
• 1:10:57
  I felt drained and I felt like robbed of my, like, my very like
• 1:11:02
  essence. Like I was just like, Oh my God.
• 1:11:04
  Like one small encounter and I was like, shaking.
• 1:11:07
  So yeah, OK. Thank you so much.
• 1:11:09
  No. Problem.
• 1:11:10
  Thanks for hopping on. Hi, be safe, protect yourself,
• 1:11:13
  protect your essence, protect your energy.
• 1:11:15
  OK. Hi.
• 1:11:17
  Thank you so much all. Right.
• 1:11:19
  Peace. Yeah, I'm not laughing at y'all.
• 1:11:27
  Promise, I promise. Goodness, this was this was a
• 1:11:33
  good one y'all. Best wishes to everybody who
• 1:11:35
  called in the night, y'all. I'm going to start doing this
• 1:11:37
  more often. I like these live these the live
• 1:11:39
  for five things like the little 5 minute interviews.
• 1:11:42
  I feel like these. You can rewatch these and
• 1:11:45
  whatnot. Like you can absolutely rewatch
• 1:11:47
  these. What'd you say, Sue?
• 1:11:49
  Sue said these stories. I'm going to rewind this and
• 1:11:51
  watch it. Oh yeah, it'll be uploaded.
• 1:11:53
  It might take a while for it to upload on its own, but yeah,
• 1:11:56
  thank y'all for sharing y'all, because these, these were some,
• 1:11:58
  these were some stories tonight. I appreciate y'all hopping over
• 1:12:02
  for real because some of this stuff right here, y'all, you can
• 1:12:05
  see this. Everybody we had like what, 6-7
• 1:12:09
  people hopping on tonight, Maybe 8.
• 1:12:11
  I forgot how many people hopped on, but like you see how many
• 1:12:15
  different variations of it it can be Everybody hopped on and
• 1:12:19
  people are similar, but so many stories are different at the
• 1:12:23
  same time. You see what I'm saying?
• 1:12:25
  It's so many different. It's so many.
• 1:12:26
  So much is going on. It's different in people lives
• 1:12:28
  as well, y'all. But I got to hop off this thing,
• 1:12:30
  y'all. Thank y'all for hopping on and
• 1:12:32
  ride with me tonight. Beat stay to luck.
• 1:12:34
  If you follow me on YouTube, hit that turn on notifications so
• 1:12:38
  you don't miss the next live or what not, y'all.
• 1:12:42
  Jessica. There you go.
• 1:12:43
  What's going on? Who were you?
• 1:12:44
  Or believe that he didn't exist. The snake bite analogy helped me
• 1:12:47
  the most. It's like you buy a snake
• 1:12:48
  instead of Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've.
• 1:12:49
  I've heard that analogy before too.
• 1:12:52
  Yeah. I got a headache now, y'all.
• 1:12:54
  But like, yeah, turn on notifications if you're on
• 1:12:56
  YouTube so you don't miss the next live y'all and whatnot.
• 1:12:59
  Appreciate y'all hopping on every popping on here again.
• 1:13:03
  My site for my coaching, my courses, everything is at
• 1:13:07
  mentalillness.net. Everything is at
• 1:13:11
  mentalillness.net. Be safe.
• 1:13:14
  I love y'all. I appreciate y'all so much and I
• 1:13:18
  am out. Peace.