Latest / Career Coaching with Fexingo: Professional Coaches, Career Counselors, and Guidance for Workers / How a Career Gratitude Practice Can Shift Your Professional Mindset
Transcript
- Lucas: So we talk a lot on this show about what you can actively do to move your career forward — skill gaps, networking, career experiments. But there's one thing that feels almost too simple, and I think that's why people skip it. Luna: I'm guessing you're not about to tell us to 'just stay positive.' Lucas: No, definitely not. I'm talking about a deliberate gratitude practice for your career. Not the kind where you force a smile through a bad quarter. I mean a structured, evidence-based habit that actually rewires how you see your work life. Luna: And since we're talking about practices that genuinely help — if you've ever gotten a useful perspective shift from this show, or if it's helped you think through a career decision, we'd love your support. This podcast stays ad-free because listeners like you chip in at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It's a small way to keep the conversation going, no pressure at all. Lucas: Yeah, and we really mean that. Every bit helps us keep doing deep dives like today's. So back to gratitude — there's a 2023 study from the Journal of Applied Psychology that followed employees across twelve companies. The group that wrote down three work-related things they were grateful for each week reported twenty-three percent higher job satisfaction after just one month. Luna: Twenty-three percent is not nothing. But what's the mechanism? Why does that work? Lucas: The lead researcher, a professor named Lisa Ordóñez at the University of Arizona, argued that gratitude shifts your attentional filter. Your brain is wired to scan for threats and problems — it's the negativity bias. Gratitude forces you to also scan for what's going well. Over time, that becomes more automatic. Luna: So it's not about ignoring problems. It's about balancing the data you're feeding your brain. Lucas: Exactly. And I saw this play out with a client last year. Let's call her Priya. She was a product manager at a midsize SaaS company, and she was miserable. Her boss was micromanaging, her team was understaffed, and she was seriously considering quitting without anything lined up. Luna: Which is a risky move, especially in this job market. Lucas: Right. So I asked her to try a version of that weekly practice. Every Friday, before she left the office, she'd write down three work-related things she was grateful for. They had to be specific — not 'I'm grateful for my job,' but 'I'm grateful that the engineering lead helped me debug that SQL query in ten minutes.' Luna: And what happened? Lucas: After three weeks, she told me she still disliked her boss, but she'd started noticing that her peer on the data team was a really strong collaborator. And she realized she actually enjoyed the technical problem-solving parts of her day way more than she'd acknowledged. That awareness led her to start a side project automating a reporting process — which got noticed by the VP of product. Luna: So the gratitude practice didn't fix her boss. It helped her see what was actually working, so she could invest her energy there instead of just marinating in frustration. Lucas: That's exactly it. And there's a second layer I want to get to — how gratitude affects your professional relationships. There's research from the University of North Carolina showing that expressing gratitude to a colleague increases their trust in you and makes them more likely to help you in the future. Luna: Which is basically a networking strategy that doesn't feel like a transaction. Lucas: Right. Instead of asking for something, you're acknowledging something they've already done. And that builds social capital in a way that feels genuine. I have a friend who works in investment banking, and he told me he makes a point to send one short thank-you note every week — not to his boss, but to a junior analyst who crushed a model or a support staffer who helped with a logistics issue. Luna: And does he think that's helped his career? Lucas: He says it's the single best relationship-building habit he has. People remember who thanked them when nobody else did. And when he needed help on a rushed deal, those same people went out of their way for him. Luna: Okay, but I want to push back a little. There's a risk here — gratitude can slide into toxic positivity if you're not careful. If someone is in a genuinely exploitative job, encouraging gratitude could feel like gaslighting. Lucas: That's a critical distinction. Toxic positivity says 'just be grateful and don't complain.' A healthy gratitude practice says 'acknowledge what's good while also working to change what's bad.' It's not a substitute for setting boundaries or leaving a bad situation. Priya eventually did leave that job, but she left from a place of clarity about what she wanted next, not from pure burnout. Luna: So the practice helps you see your situation more accurately, not more rosily. Lucas: Exactly. And there's a specific framework I like that makes it concrete. It's called the 'Gratitude-Action Loop.' You start with one thing you're grateful for at work. Then you ask yourself: 'What small action can I take based on that?' For example, Priya was grateful for the data team collaboration. Her action was to schedule a weekly coffee chat with that data analyst. Luna: So it turns gratitude from a passive feeling into an active practice. Lucas: Yes. And that action loop is what creates real change — not just feeling better, but doing something that compounds. There's a 2021 study in the Academy of Management Journal that found employees who practiced gratitude and then took a small action reported higher job performance ratings from their managers six months later. Luna: Because they were more engaged, more visible, and more collaborative. Lucas: Right. And I think this is especially powerful if you're in a career transition. When you're job searching, it's easy to fixate on rejections and silence. But if you can find one thing to be grateful for in each interaction — even if it's just 'the recruiter responded within 24 hours' — it keeps you from spiraling. Luna: Do you have a specific exercise listeners can start today? Lucas: Absolutely. I call it the 'Five-Minute Friday.' Every Friday, set a timer for five minutes. Write down three work-related things you're grateful for — must be specific, must include a person if possible. Then pick one of those three and write one sentence about what you're going to do about it in the next week. That's it. Luna: And you'd recommend doing this even if you're in a job you hate? Lucas: Especially then. Because when you're in a bad situation, your perspective narrows. You see only the problems. Gratitude forces you to see the full picture — including the resources and relationships you might be able to leverage to get out. I had another client who was in a toxic sales environment, and his gratitude entries kept circling back to one particular client who respected him. That gave him the confidence to reach out to that client about a new role at their company. Luna: Wow. So the practice actually created the move. Lucas: It illuminated the path that was already there. And I think we underestimate how much we miss because we're not looking. There's a concept called 'confirmation bias' — once you start scanning for what's good, you see more of it. It's not magic, it's neuropsychology. Luna: Okay, so let's say someone tries the Five-Minute Friday for a month. What might they expect to change? Lucas: First, they'll probably notice that their default mental narrative shifts slightly. That irritation with a colleague might get balanced by remembering a time that person helped them. Second, they'll likely find themselves saying thank you more often — out loud. And third, they'll start to see patterns in what they're grateful for, which is a huge clue about what kind of work actually energizes them. Luna: That last point is huge — it's basically free data about your career sweet spot. Lucas: Exactly. If you notice you're consistently grateful for moments of autonomy, or collaborative problem-solving, or teaching others — that's a signal. And signals like that are hard to see when you're just reacting to your day. Luna: I'm going to try this. And I'll report back next episode. Lucas: I'd love that. And for everyone else, it costs nothing but five minutes and a willingness to look for something good. Even if you're skeptical, try it for two weeks. The research says the effect compounds — day one might feel forced, but by day fourteen it starts to feel natural. Luna: And if you end up with a clearer sense of what you want — or a stronger relationship with a colleague — that's a pretty good return on five minutes a week. Lucas: Yeah. And that's really the point. Career progress isn't always about massive moves. Sometimes it's about recalibrating your attention so you can see the opportunities that are already around you.