Latest / Outside The Therapy Room / Episode 72: The Emotional Side of Buying & Selling a Home with Cheryl Goetz

Transcript

Episode 72: The Emotional Side of Buying & Selling a Home with Cheryl Goetz · Outside The Therapy Room

• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: 23.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: We'll be chatting about everything from mental health and relationships to media and credit, as well as personal experiences and reflection, all in the hope of normalizing our humanness and helping you see that you're not alone.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: This is Outside the Therapy Room.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Hi everyone.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Outside of the Therapy Room.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: I am excited to have Cheryl here on the podcast today from At Home Co.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, Cheryl.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, thank you for having me.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: How's it going?
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's going great.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we're recording this first day, first week of school, back to school.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: So it's been a fun week.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's been busy with kiddos and everything going back to school.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I hope that went all smoothly for you at your house.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: As smooth as it can.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Same.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's a lot.
• 1:08
  unknown: Yeah.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I'm excited to have you here today because we're gonna be talking about finding a home.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: I think for many people, it can be exciting, it can be overwhelming, it can be a lot of excitement and then grief if we don't end up getting the home that we're wanting or that we put an offer on.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Plus, today's housing market is just banana sometimes.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so that can bring up a lot of anxiety and disappointment.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: But before we get into our topic, could you please introduce yourself to our listeners?
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: For sure.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so my name is Cheryl Getz, and I'm a real estate agent in the Waterloo region, which is Kitchener, Waterloo, Cambridge, and our amazing surrounding townships.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I've been a real estate agent for over 10 years now, which is crazy.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm a mom of two girls.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: I live in Waterloo.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: I've got a dog, and I've got five chickens.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: Four chickens.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: If you work at the city and you follow the bylaws, I'm so sorry.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: I only have four chickens.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: There's four.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: There's four chickens.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're gonna explore the emotional side of buying a home.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you've kind of seen it, you've been through it all 10 years in real estate.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you've kind of been on the selling side and on the buying side.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it just can be a lot for individuals as they're purchasing their first or their second or their forever home.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but before we talk about all of that, I want to hear a little bit about you.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: What do you love about helping people find a home?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: I love it because while, yes, you you alluded, there are some some tough moments, some sad moments, but it's also can be so exciting.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you are embedded in this family's life like very few people get to be.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you are like in their home, which very few people get to be in their home.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: You are helping them, you know, shape the future in their next home.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: And it's so fun.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: You get to know them more and more every single time you meet with them.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, you're touring houses, but you're also just like chatting about life and what happened that day.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I have what I call a relationship-based business, meaning like the people who I work with, I usually have a very good relationship with.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's much beyond the transaction.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so yeah, I mean, I learned so much from my clients.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: I hope my clients obviously learn so much uh from me.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I really just like being this small part in such a big part of Waterloo region as a whole.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: I really, really love this region and this community.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I feel like I'm this little like bricklayer in the community by helping people like move around and shuffle around it.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, your role, you really are everything.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like you come into people's homes, you're seeing their life in real time.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: There is, I mean, just from my experience going with my husband and looking at houses, there is a little bit of, you know, goals that maybe aren't aligning or things that someone's looking at, someone's really excited about a home, but another person, the other partner may not be.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: So there's also a little bit of maybe like couples work that is in your field that you might have to do as kind of being like a listener or a mediator to all of the things people are wanting in that process.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, among being a real estate agent and a negotiator and uh chauffeur and time management expert, like all of the things.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: It is a common joke in the industry that we are therapists.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: I've never made that joke to an actual therapist before.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: But I like that you at least introduced the fact that yeah, we absolutely have to be mediators.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we're dealing with, you know, potentially conflicting visions, but at the same time, we're doing it in what could be a very high stress situation, right?
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so it's so important as the realtor.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: I like to be like my client's rock, you know, like the safe place to land.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: You can say anything to me, it's okay.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I talk to couples together.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it's really helpful for couples to have conversations with me like one-on-one instead.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because you know, sometimes the couples speak a different language and they like to be, they like to make decisions in a different way.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: Cause some people are really emotional, some people are analytical, some people want data and short answers, some people really want the time to talk it all through, and the other person just isn't helping, having that space there, right?
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then you add all of that into being stressed out because of a move that maybe has to happen or needs to happen by a certain time, for example.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's definitely high stress, mixed emotions.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that's just between a couple if they're purchasing.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: But then if we're looking at like a, you know, single adult who is purchasing a home and parents are there to support, or newlyweds who's both parents are maybe coming in to support, then you're really working with a lot more people, a lot more opinions.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's it can just get very noisy very quickly.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: But I like to hear that you are the rock of like your client or the person that is coming to you directly, because I'm sure that's really important.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you need to be the louder voice to advocate for them when maybe some of the voices around them are maybe whispering a little loudly.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: So and it and it's it's important as a real estate agent like to value that noise, but to be also like your client's filter.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm allowing, let's say, the parents to be heard, but I'm also not scared to like share my my like opinions about it, my thoughts about it.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I mean, this is their journey at the end of the day, right?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: So it has to happen the way that they want, but I'm still there to guide and educate, especially if parents, let's say, haven't purchased in 30 years, they might have a real issue with a part of the process.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it's my job to hear that issue and to very calmly respond with, I hear why you have a problem with that.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I do know that's how it used to happen.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: This is why it happens now, and this is why.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and there are certain things that happen in the industry today that I do not participate in because I don't agree with and it's not in the best interest of my clients, and I'll be up front about that too, right?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it's so important to be the rock because you know it's it's important and it it's easy.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's important because you have to like drive the shit forward, and it's easy.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I mean, not for everybody, but I find it easy and I explain to my clients when they're confused of why I'm not freaking out.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: Is I was just like, I just don't think you understand how much I've seen in the last 10 years.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you kind of have this shield that protects you, um, where something feels like it's truly blowing up, but I know what an actual blow up is, and I've actually worked through that.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so this is small potatoes.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like I can handle this.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: This feels so big in your life right now, and as it should, and it's okay, but it's not big in my life.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: I know how to solve this problem.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: So I just want to be like cool, calm, and collected, hear what your concerns are, and then go out and find the solution for you.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's definitely a rock, right?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: And people need that when there are high stakes, high emotions, and all of that.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: So, I mean, you mentioned some of this a little bit, but you know, your high stakes, high emotions, like I mentioned.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: But what emotions do you see come up most often with your buyers?
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, um, definitely excitement for sure.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, a lot of nerves.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, people are nervous, it's a big financial decision.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's um there's worries around like, well, what if what if one of us, what if we do this and then our we lose our job?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, well, what if we do this and and the market crashes?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I deal with those questions a lot with buyers.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I would say it's a mix of of excitement and and nerves.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: And then of course, if you don't get something, then there can be some disappointment.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, of course.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: I love the what ifs.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's like like full anxiety, right?
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what if this happens?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: What if that happens?
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, it's kind of you're there to calm some of those nerves and also hold space for them.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: But that makes sense.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's you know, those anxieties, all those worries, it makes sense.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of the biggest financial purchases that we make in our lives.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so there's a lot of heavy worry and nerves and everything.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but from a mental health perspective, a home represents so much more than just a physical space.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's like your safe space, it's your sanctuary, it's where you have stability, it's where you're going to raise your children.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's so much more that's attached to it emotionally.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what do you notice people are really searching for when they say, like, I want to find our home or our forever home?
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, every family, every every situation is so different, you know, because some people, they're investors, and so it is a little bit different.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, most of the people I do work with, they are buying it for themselves, though.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you know, they're a single person, a young couple, or they are um a family.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: And they are looking, I find with when we're going through, there's the typical boxes that need to be checked in terms of bedrooms, bathrooms, like maybe certain neighborhoods they want to live in.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of the times when you go through the home, uh, not all my clients, most of them, I definitely do every time, is I get a feeling from the home.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it feels a little woo-woo, but I promise you, even the least woo-woo of realtors out there, they can sense what's happening in a home.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: And some homes just have really bad juju.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes you're walking around the home and then you go into the basement and you're like, whoa, something's going on down here.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: And you can just sense, especially after being in the industry for so long, you can really sense about a home, like the feeling about it.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so I would say the buyers are obviously looking for the boxes that they need to be checked, their wants and their needs.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but then also a feeling and a sense of like picturing their lives there.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so I hear these little like beautiful moments of, oh, I would put my desk right by this window because I could look up and I couldn't, you know, see the birds in this tree.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: Something that like I'll never forget is I helped someone who grew up in an abusive household.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: And she had been living like on her own uh with her boyfriend in a rental.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: But when we were shopping for the home, like it was huge.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like this was huge.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: This was something that was hers that no one could take away from her that was completely safe.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I was just like, wow, like this is this was it was such a big deal for me to be part of something where someone was finally finding safety in their home.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so every to answer your question, everybody's just a little bit different.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like I have people who have young kids and they were looking through a home and they were picturing their grandkids there.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's it's just wonderful because everybody's in a different life stage.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it is a lot of like these visions that are coming that are coming true with each home we see.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, again, I think most people have experienced at least walking through an open house or something like that.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: And you can sometimes envision yourself or your family, like this is where my kids' room's gonna be, or this is where we're gonna play, or this is where I'm gonna do the dishes while I can watch my kiddos playing in the backyard.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that imagery is so important, right?
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because it helps you kind of solidify if this is like the right house for you.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: But then that's where the emotions can then be impacted because I've been so guilty of falling in love with a house.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: We put in an offer and we're like, yes, it's gonna happen.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: I can't wait to live there.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, by this time next year, like we're gonna have like the garden and all of this, and we're gonna paint the kids' rooms and everything.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then we get the call that we've been outbid or that they've accepted another offer, and it is crushing.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like everything that you just pictured in your mind, like you can sometimes be in it and feel it and like in real time, even though it's like just a little fantasy.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: So it can be crushing when things like that happen.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: So when that has happened, it sounds like you are able to kind of hear your clients already visualizing themselves in a space.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: If an offer is put and they don't end up getting or their offer isn't the one selected, how do you kind of navigate those emotions in your field like as their realtor?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, I definitely allow some space for them to talk to me about it, but I also don't push them to talk to me about it because sometimes in those moments you really just need to talk amongst yourselves and you don't need the realtor who delivered the bad news or who represented you in the deal to be part of that.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes you do.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I kind of just like leave the space there available.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but you know, keep it quick and short so they don't feel obligated to to talk to me about it.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I would say there's there's like three points of main messaging that I always deliver in these moments is one, it wasn't meant to be, and if it was, it will be.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: I've seen crazy things like houses popping back on the market because something fell through and somebody getting it who wanted it.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if it was not meant to be, it will be, or it won't be.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then the other thing is is that really hits home for clients is I tell them, I say, I have been doing this for 10 years, and I have helped clients through the moments of not getting the house.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: And then I end up getting them a house and they can't believe they offered on the other one, and they're blown away that they even had the ability to love a house more than that.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: And then they look back and they're like, I can't believe we were even considering that neighborhood.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's so funny, like how ever like everything just happens for a reason where it's like one family lost out on a house in Waterloo and they were crushed, and now they've been living in the house that I helped them buy in Breslau for years, and they're obsessed with Breslau, and they're like, I can't believe we considered living in that house in Waterloo or that house in Kitchener that they lost out on.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I definitely share that story to ease them and to so they know like it's coming.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like this one hurts, but I promise it's coming and you're gonna look back and be thankful that you know you lost out on that other house.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: And then the third is I throw a little humor in.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: I do like to work with sense of humor like through and through, even when stuff is hitting the fan.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like kind of laughing because it's unbelievable sometimes.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I just know we're gonna get through it, and it just helps us get all through it as staying positive.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um but I say, I say, like it was probably infested in rats, anyways.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's just best.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's saved ourselves, guarantee that basement's gonna flood in the spring, and they always laugh, they chuckle, and it just helps them get through.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I just pick like a nice situation in a house and I go, like that's gonna happen, and now it's not your problem.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: I think humor is such a good coping strategy, and so when you can use it, slide it in there, like it, yeah, it alleviates some of like the grief or like the sad feelings that can come up.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: But no, I think those three things are really important to keep in mind.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: And again, like it's so helpful when you have a realtor who has had years of experience so that you can share those successful stories or those like really happy, joyful stories.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, it probably feels really good for your clients to hear that from you given your experience and everything.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, let's talk about the current housing market.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, from your perspective, what has made buying a home emotionally harder for people right now with how things are?
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: I would say it's emotionally hard because it just feels like a rarity for everyone to be on the same page.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, so you know, it feels simple in the fact that you have a budget, houses are listed, and you go, okay, so let's say my budget is like 800,000.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, here's all the houses in the city that you want to live in for 800,000.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: Wonderful.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: We can weed out all of these because they don't have the number of bedrooms that we have.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: We can weed out these ones because I really wanted a garage, and we're left with, you know, maybe let's say 10.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: Out of those 10, we have we go to one and the pictures look like nothing like the house.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_01: We go to another one and it's not maintained at all and it's just falling apart as misrepresent represented.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: We go to another one and, you know, it's actually worth 950, but they've listed it for 800 to drum up offers.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: We go to another one and it's actually worth 750, and the seller's expectations are just too high.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: So it feels simple, but it is utterly exhausting if you don't have the right person guiding you through just explaining how it's done right now.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's like lots of houses are priced too high, lots of price, lots of houses are priced too low.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's our job to manage expectations and to kind of like save you some of that disappointment too.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then, you know, you unfortunately have some people in in the industry on the other side just like not doing the industry justice.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, they're not answering their phone, they're not representing their client well when you know you're trying to represent yours.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: They're not like solution focused, like they're just problem focused.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that can cause a lot of stress because it's something we really can't control.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: And then lastly, I would say um, you know, some purse strings are a little tighter.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: So people used to buy homes and then improve them upon moving in.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: And now I find that there's like commonly this cash flow issue, which is like my budget's my budget, and like there's nothing above it, you know, like our budget is a lot of people I work with and I encourage this all the time.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: Their budget is 800.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so we try to shop in like 750, 780.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_01: I like to leave some buffer room in people's budget.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, especially if there isn't that um that nest egg where things can go wrong after you close on a home, right?
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: So um, some, you know, tightening of the purse strings can definitely make it stressful, especially if you're working with someone who like is pressuring you to push the limit on that and not preparing you for like the financial stress that can happen after the paperwork is signed.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think, you know, obviously in the therapy room, I've had clients in the process of purchasing a home, renovations, all of these things.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it can be, again, like obviously a big impact on mental health.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: We've already talked about it.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: Stressful, it's a lot.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then it comes to these kind of games, right?
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like I feel like sometimes the housing market is a little bit of a game.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like you said, you have a budget, you go to see the houses.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: They are actually playing a game, putting their listing their house at that price when they're actually wanting more or whatever it could be.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think the conversation and the stress around like affordability and then interest rates going up.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's not as many affordable options.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so the expectations and the realities sometimes don't line up.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure that can sometimes make your job a little bit harder when you have to bring somebody back down to reality to what they can actually afford, maybe within their price range with that wiggle room, with you know affordability interest rates and all of the other stuff that we've talked about.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then add on top of that, like competition.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not in the realtor world, but from what I'm hearing, there is a lot of investors coming in from bigger cities.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: And that can kind of, again, like shift things up.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so then when a family's maybe putting in an offer, an investor maybe can outbid them.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: So there's so many things happening behind the scenes that, you know, you obviously as a realtor, this is your profession, you know these things, you see these things, you know how to work through these things.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: But for a client coming in, it can be a lot.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: And like again, it can um sometimes um again, their expectations might be too high.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: You have to bring them back down.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: But there's also maybe already disappointment even before the process has even begun of like, well, what could I even afford?
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: What, like, is it even worth it?
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: All of these things.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do you navigate that kind of mix of emotions when when somebody's coming in to buy?
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, um, you know, I stay very positive and I stay very focused on the solution rather than the problem.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so if expectations aren't meeting reality, I go, okay, great, let's get back to the drawing board.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: Here's three paths forward.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like perhaps it is like shopping for something that is lower than your budget, and I can connect you with people that will help you improve the property, or I can tell you, like, hey, if you've got, you know, a handy person, this is what would go the farthest in fixing up this property.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the other respect is like, well, what if we look like just outside this area that you're wanting to be in?
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and go to some, go to an area just outside as the stepping stone to um eventually fund your next one.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: And then sometimes it is like, it is, well, what if we just do a pause?
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: What if we do a pause?
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I work really well with mortgage agents, and I like I ask them questions that the client might not know to ask.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I say, what is like two things they can do over the next 12 months that will add X to their budget, you know?
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_01: And uh we work on that plan.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's just always like, let's move forward with the solution, let's be positive.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: We are gonna get there.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna get there eventually.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's just gonna take time and like, or maybe a bit of a pivot.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: I like the slowdown.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we need to slow down and just pause, even if it's just to have like a little think about it.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, and that's great.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: That again, the positives about having a realtor.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: You have connections, you have questions that you know the buyers or the sellers may not really know to ask.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: So that's really great.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think there's also, and I'm sure you've seen this, like a lot of shame maybe attached to buying a home.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of comparison to friends or family or what they see online.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so, how does this kind of comparison game show up in this process of buying?
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's a good question.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I don't really see it too much, and I don't hear the comparison chat too much.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, it might happen behind closed doors, like when we're going through houses.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, I don't care, you know, too much about the Joneses has a better kitchen, like I want a nice kitchen.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: They just kind of like come at me with like what they want, and then we we work through that.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I would say instead of the buyers having a comparison issue, it's the sellers that have comparison issues because they'll compare their home to others on the market.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: They'll think that theirs is better and they deserve more.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so I have to very carefully navigate a conversation where part of my job is to bring light to everything wrong with your home, which is not a fun thing to do for anybody.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I have different tactics of how to do that.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: So it is like a soft approach and it's not emotional, it's just data.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and uh yeah, I think it's the sellers that have the hardest time.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes there's an ego surrounding what we sell our house for.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: And there's an ego around, like, yeah, but my um, you know, some people think like there's so much value, let's say, in what they did in their backyard.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, but did you know that by doing that in your backyard, you basically cut your buyer pool in half?
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, because like the the the buyers that are in this category, like they want X in a backyard.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: And only like 10% of buyers want what you put in your backyard.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_01: So that's amazing for you, and amazing for 10% of the buyers, but it's undesirable and it looks like a lot of work to undo for 90% of the buyers.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I see it more on the seller's side that that we have to navigate than the buyer side.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: I can see that.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: But speaking on the seller side, because we haven't really touched on the emotions on the seller side, like what are some of the emotions that you notice from the seller side?
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure that there's also a wave and a mix of emotions depending on their position of needing to sell or wanting to sell.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, what has that been like for sellers?
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, they want the most amount of money possible, right?
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and the sellers I work with, I am so blessed with my sellers and my clients.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, like they're just like little hustlers.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I go in and I'm like, if your goal is to sell this as quick as possible, but for the most money as possible, I am going to give you the best case scenario of how to prep this home.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm here to help you prep the home, but it's still gonna be work, you know, and it is a lot of work.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: And the emotions that I see is obviously some stress and some exhaustion leading up to it because they do have to prep their home.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: So, for instance, some minor repairs that have been ignored have to be addressed, a lot of decluttering and depersonalization have to happen.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe getting a storage unit happens.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, on top of your full-time job and taking care of children, it is absolutely insane.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I do not take it lightly.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, I have a job, I have kids, I get it.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I can't imagine prepping my own for sale.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I get it.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: So leading up to it, it's a lot of exhaustion.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: The second it hits the market, anxiety central.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like, so much anxiety.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and it's my job to help them manage their anxiety.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and I try to do that by telling them like, listen, your job is to keep your house clean.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's it now.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you've done ever all of this amazing prep.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_01: Now all you have to do is keep your house clean, tidy, and available for people to see.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_01: Everything else is on me.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's on my shoulders.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: Getting buyers in the door is on my shoulders, talking to the people who have seen it, that's on my shoulders.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: Getting offers to the table, that's on my shoulders.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: And then getting the best offer, that's on my shoulders.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing, none of that is in your control outside of having your home available and nice for people to actually see and fall in love with.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_01: So you handle that.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna handle everything else because the anxiety is the text messages such as, oh my gosh, they only spent 15 minutes in the home.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_01: Do you think they didn't like it?
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, you can't control that outside of right.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, this is your zone.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_01: This is all now my zone, right?
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that's what it, that's what it can look like.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: We can have people coming in if you're listed for 900 and someone offers 850 and you're just insulted, and you just can't believe it.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: That is not doing anybody any good for me to be emotional about that, right?
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_01: I have to spin it again and look for the solution and stay paused and be like, but it's someone interested in your home.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_01: So, how about we figure out what's important to us, what's important to them, and try to bridge this gap and see if we can get somewhere where we're both happy.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: And if not, someone else is gonna come, right?
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: So there's there's a lot of emotions with selling as well, and a lot of them are rooted in anxiety, which is fair.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, totally.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_00: Even just the thought of prepping your house for sale.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like our home is stable, secure, safe.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: And during that week or two that you have your place on the market, it's unstable, unsecure.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like people are coming in.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: You have to get ready to go on the drop of a hat.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: You can't make a mess.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there's just so much pressure to maintain it the way it needs to be so that when people come in to see it, they see like what their vision could be for the house.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a lot.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, of course, the anxiety.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so I appreciate you being like, you hold on to your anxiety about your stuff, and I'll hold on to like the worry about the other stuff because it's already so much that sellers are having to deal with and like prepping their house and everything.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: But the disappointment I feel like is just throughout the board, like disappointment of not getting many, like maybe many bids or bids, many offers on the table, maybe the offers being lower than expected or asking price.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like there is a lot of disappointment that can kind of fall in there as well.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and yeah, just like the stress of it all, as you pointed out, you're working and now you're having to maintain your house a certain way.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: Stop the kids from making a mess if like a visit is gonna be happening in an hour.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's it's a lot.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's so much for people to carry.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I try to be as compassionate as possible, like on top of the person where sometimes I feel like I'm the enforcer and the maker of it.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I have to remind myself like no, they want to sell their home.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like, it's okay.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know what I mean?
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like the bad guy sometimes, and I'm like, no, I am just trying my best.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: But one practice I found so helpful for sellers is as we're shopping for a home, because a lot of people are buying first, selling second right now.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_01: As we're shopping for a home, I point things out in other people's homes and I go, do you see how the fact that their baseboards are dirty like turned you off the moment you came in?
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_01: And they're like, Yeah.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, Yeah, like like I just point out these things so that yeah, it's almost like I'm getting them on my side.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_01: Not that they're not on my side, but I'm just like, if they think it's important, it'll be easier for them to do, you know, and it'll be easier to handle the stress and the exhaustion because they'll see that they think it's important as well.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not just me saying it's important.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you mentioned this a little bit already, but with those um offers that come in where people may just feel like really insulted or maybe like maybe not rejection, but like you know, those like heightened feelings, whether you're a buyer or a seller, like how do you support your clients through that?
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's a lot, and then it goes differently, right?
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: So like um feeling insulted leads a little bit more to anger and like self-defense, and whereas like rejection, if your offer wasn't selected or if you're a buyer, it leads more to sadness and then like shame and vulnerability and all of those things.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's like a lot, you're all over the spectrum with the emotions.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do you like handle those situations?
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, with the with the buyers, like as I said, just trying to stay positive and encourage them that we are gonna find your house and it is gonna be like the one that's meant for you.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_01: With the sellers, it's it's a little bit more like tactical, my approach when they're really disappointed or insulted by an offer that comes in.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_01: Let's say I say, okay, but you know, like I try to put themselves in buyer's shoes, right?
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I go, we go see a house, you know, and we fall in love with it, but your budget is$50,000 under asking.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_01: And we say, well, like what's the harm?
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what like you we don't know the situation of the sellers?
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like it doesn't hurt anybody to at least try and put that offer in.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I and then I'll say, like, it has worked.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like houses have sold for under-asking before.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was like, we really just can't make it something that it's not, you know, like this isn't an attack on your house or your personality.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: This is just someone wants your house and only has a certain budget, so they're shooting their best shot.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_01: And uh power to you.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: Good for you.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like, because you might be in that situation one day too, seeing a house that is listed for more than what you want to pay for it.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so then, you know, you just try to put them in their shoes and they're like, you're right, like this mean this just doesn't mean anything.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, exactly, but it's someone showing interest in your home, and isn't that the whole point?
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_01: So let's just, you know, move onwards and upwards.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, with with sellers just sitting on the market, let's say, um, that is just a lot of encouragement.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: That's just encouragement, you know, if they're feeling sad or rejected because they aren't getting the the showings or or the offers, that's just encouragement.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I go about that also in a tactical way of like, listen, every other house in your neighborhood took 60 days to sell on average.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: So this is normal.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like we're in week two, we don't have an offer.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_01: Great, this is this is normal, you know.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I will say it doesn't happen to me often, but yeah, but you know what to say if it does happen.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: I love the reframe with like the you know, somebody that may feel insulted by an offer.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_00: That reframe is so important, and sometimes putting them into the buyer's shoes, it does help because they're going through it too.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_00: If they're uh like selling and looking at houses at the same time, like, yeah, so sometimes it's important to kind of switch roles into the buyer to be like, oh wait, we have done this, or I can understand why somebody would do this.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that reframe, it can be really helpful.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, along with some of those things, what are some boundaries or practices that you kind of recommend like um buyers or sellers maybe put in place to support their mental health during the process?
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because again, very high emotion, high stakes.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: Boundaries that they can put in place.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, when you asked it, the first thing that came to mind was the second you buy a home, please stop looking for a home.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness, yes.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like please, like please get off realtor.ca.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um my buyers and sellers, and sometimes it benefits me and sometimes it doesn't.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_01: So uh I get scared when they do that because and I prep my buyers for this too.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_01: So, my buyers, for example, when they buy a home and then they stay on realtor.ca, which a lot of people do, I kind of say something along the lines of listen, you're gonna see other houses come up.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna maybe think, like, oh my God, I can't believe we just bought this one.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_01: This one just came up.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_01: I want to remind you when we saw one, two, three banana street, that you fell in love with that house online.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_01: And then we went and saw it and you hated it.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so just remember that situation when you've already bought your house and you're continuing to follow in love with houses online.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_01: And they're like, okay, okay, that's that's fair.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_01: The time that it works out for me is when they are finding evidence that I got them the best deal in the neighborhood or I sold their house for the most amount of money in the neighborhood because they're just constantly like checking on the market afterwards.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it still makes me nervous, you know, because then I have to manage some emotions afterwards still.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's like the buyer's remorse, right?
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you buy something, you got it.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of the boundary can be like to protect our emotions.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_00: Let's just not look, let's just be present with what we have right now and kind of, you know, take it as it is.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, that can be a lot for both you and and like the buyer or seller.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, with my clients, I I have it's called the goal chat.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, when people are having a hard time with, let's say, like what they're selling their house for, if someone a year ago sold their house for more.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I go, you know what, like what's the goal?
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the goal is for you to move into this house over here because it's gonna suit your family way better for like these five reasons.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_01: So are you willing to give up having achieved that goal now for something that sold for$50,000 more two years ago, and we don't know when it's going to get back up to that price.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_01: And also when it does, so will this house over here that you're buying.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like, do we want to get trapped in comparison or do we want to just live our own lives and achieve our goals?
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I like that again.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_00: Boundary.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, let's just focus on this.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_00: I think another emotional boundary that you mentioned earlier was like taking breaks and pauses.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like sometimes that's just a good boundary to recognize.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then, um, and I think this is something that like when me and my husband were actively looking, I mentioned, I was like, I don't want to make every weekend an open house house hunting weekend.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like that I want my weekend to just be my weekend, like not always looking.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_00: So those are like some good, maybe like emotional boundaries.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_00: Are there any financial boundaries that maybe you've, I mean, I'm sure you've already mentioned one, like about keeping your uh budget realistic or like checking in around budget, maybe avoiding stretching out beyond beyond like a comfort zone.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_00: But are there any like financial or relationship boundaries maybe that you hold with your clients?
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I have pretty strong opinions around financial boundaries.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_01: So, first and foremost, I do welcome people saying my budget is 800, but we only want to spend 750.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_01: I always respond to that with enthusiasm so that they know I'm on their side, because I imagine when they say that to some people, they are fearful that the realtor whose commission check grows with the amount of money that's spent is someone that's going to encourage something different, right?
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I always welcome that with enthusiasm and go, that's fantastic, love that.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_01: If they don't say that, if they say our pre-approval is 800, I go, amazing, your pre-approval is 800.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_01: What do you want your max budget to be?
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_01: And some people are like, well, what do you mean?
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_01: I go, well, you don't have to spend 800.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like we can spend like less if you feel more comfortable.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: The other thing I always talk about is uh or ask is, you know, are you prepared to move into this house and the furnace to break one week later or for the roof to leak in three months financially?
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like, have you talked that through with your mortgage provider?
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_01: If they haven't, I always encourage that because I just don't want someone to end up in a bad, stressful spot when they're supposed to be excited about their new home.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_01: For selling my financial boundary, is if the numbers today are saying I should get 800 for your house, I will tell you, I will suggest to you that you take 750 to your mortgage agent and say, what can we afford to buy on our next house if our house sells for 750?
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I say, listen, get the number.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_01: If you're really unhappy with it and you have to pretend it's 775 or 800, you know, let's cross that bridge when we get there.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: But if you're happy with it, if it comes back at 1.3 and a lot of the houses you've been looking at online are 1.2, then like let's roll with it.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_01: Let's roll with it and potentially pocket at least 50k.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: And it also allows for market fluctuations.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_01: So today we're getting a pre-approval for your next house, thinking your house is going to sell for 800 today.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_01: But budgeting with that 750 allows the market to ebb and flow without our stress being affected whatsoever or our bud shopping budget being affected whatsoever.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_01: Because you, I had someone sell one week after the tariff talk started in January.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just, it was unfortunate timing, you know, and they had to sell that week.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_01: So it just protects you with like seasonal changes, political changes, interest rate changes, where it's like, could you imagine if you're shopping on a budget with the 800 in mind, and then you get an offer accepted, it's conditional upon you selling your home.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_01: You now need to get 800, and something's happening in the market that doesn't allow you to have that.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_01: You just lost your next house that you fell in love with enough to put an offer in and you put a deposit down on, you know?
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_01: So that's one of my biggest financial boundaries for both buyers and sellers.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's an important one, right?
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_00: And and I can appreciate you having like the honest, tough conversation with them because you know, everyone can come in so excited or with very high expectations of like their neighborhood and how things are selling.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it's always good to just like bring their feet back to the ground and just like, you know, prepare them for safety too.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_00: And and I hope it's okay for me to say this, but some realtors are maybe a little bit more pushy and more risky.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's important to find the right realtor that's gonna meet your needs and what you can do and where you're at in your life and everything, because I think those are really valuable boundaries that buyers and sellers kind of need to keep in mind.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, appreciate that.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_01: And you know what?
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_01: Some some people they really do want to work with the the pushier, riskier agent.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like I've lost clients because I am not that agent, you know.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I can't remember the term that they used, um, but it it it was this big masculine energy, you know?
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what he needed.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I I'm just not like I'm very much like you can do it this way, and these are the risks that come along with doing it this way.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have a plan to mitigate those risks?
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_01: And some people are like, yep, totally okay with that.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we have a plan.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_01: Amazing.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm here to like help you through that.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: But a lot of the people I do work with, like they have kids, we're risk averse, you know, like we don't want to be homeless, we don't want to be house poor, we just know things come up, life's already really expensive.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_01: So most of the people I come I help, I am helping them mitigate their risk along the way just to make everything feel more comfortable for them.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, it comes down to fit, just like a therapeutic client relationship.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_00: It comes down to fit what that person is needing.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so it sounds like it's very much the same.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_00: Again, you're doing so much work for them emotionally and you know, within obviously financially and with their living, like again, big decisions.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's good to have those conversations with your realtor and see if those needs kind of align.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, we're kind of coming to the end of our podcast.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_00: So for somebody who's listening who maybe has lost multiple offers, is feeling defeated, or maybe who has been outbid several times on many houses, what's something you would want to tell them?
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I would encourage them that the right house is coming.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm putting a sign in this situation that there is no problem with your realtor.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, like maybe reflect on that.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure your realtor is doing their job.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so putting that aside, let's say they have a fantastic real estate agent, then I would absolutely, you know, just I would keep going because you have a goal, you have a plan on how to meet it.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_01: Just know that it's gonna work out exactly the way that it's supposed to.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_01: The home you're supposed to end up in, you're going to end up in.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and once in a while do those pauses, you know, and just ask yourself like, why isn't this working out?
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, do we need to pivot?
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes like the simplest pivot is what makes the mark, you know?
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, whether it's getting in a different bracket of square footage, whether it's being willing to renovate a kitchen and not making that just such a sticking point.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so definitely reflection and then also just remaining positive.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, love that.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna do quick rapid fire questions, house hunting addition.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_00: So just quick answers.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna run through them.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_00: Biggest misconception about buying a home.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_01: That is easy.
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's not as easy as you think.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_01: In this market, it's a little, it's a little confusing.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay, that's a good one.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_00: Biggest emotional mistake that some buyers can make.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_01: So sorry, you said this is supposed to be fast.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um being unable to like see a vision, like like flexibility.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like being able to see past a paint color.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's just the biggest mistake in my mind.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I can see that.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot you can change.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's not doesn't have to look exactly the way it is.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_00: Got that.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_00: Something you wish every buyer knew before starting.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_01: Interview realtors and know your you know your numbers from a professional.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_01: Because everyone thinks they know their numbers, and then they speak to a mortgage agent and they actually don't know their numbers.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_00: Same question, but for sellers.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_00: Something you wish every seller knew.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um a clean decluttered house will get you more money than a hundred thousand dollars in upgrades sometimes.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's crazy though, eh?
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's a lot of mental health, emotional piece too, on cluttering.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_00: There's I've been TV shows about hoarding and everything.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, but it is, and it makes it, I think, a little easier for people to really envision themselves in your space when there's less that's there, right?
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_01: I've seen people do$100,000 in upgrades and they're maybe not done well or they're not done to appease most buyers.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_01: And then I've seen someone do nothing to their home since 1980, but maintain it meticulously, and it goes for more money.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_00: Wild.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_00: Last rapid fire question.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_00: What does a home or what does home mean to you?
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_01: When I think of home, like I just think of coziness.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like I have, you know, my favorite throw blanket right now that every time at home I'm at home, I just want to be under that throw blanket.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I also just think of like love, and I have so much love in my home.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like I live with my husband, I live with my two daughters, we have a dog, we have chickens, and there's just so much like fun and and love and caretaking.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so that's what I think about home is I just want to be like cozy, wrapped in love.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_00: And look, cozy is also like just a safe, snuggly place where you can just relax.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_01: There's not many places outside of home that you can actually feel cozy, right?
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like bun on the top of your head, your biggest sweatshirt, like an old blanket, you know, like you're not going out for dinner feeling cozy very often, you know?
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think home, I think it's the best place to be cozy.
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_00: So cozy and authentic and like all of the things.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you so much.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_00: This was such a great conversation.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I think, again, there's so much happening right now in the market.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and if people are looking to buy or sell their home, how can they find you?
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so you can follow me on Instagram.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_01: The handle is at homeco.
• 53:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you can also go to my website at homecompany.ca and just connect with me either way.
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_01: I love to chat things out.
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_01: I am very low pressure.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_01: People sometimes talk to me two years before they ever want to do a deal because they they just want to chat and plan and have someone to talk about things as they come up, you know.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_01: So we might chat this month and then in six months you could be like, hey, this thing just happened down the street for me.
• 53:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what does that mean?
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'm just there and I'm like, oh, it it means like, you know, this situation was happening with the sellers, right?
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's just so much fun for me to uh meet new people in this area, and and I really like educating people too.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_00: We'll make sure we have all of your links to your Instagram and your website in our show notes so people can quickly get a hold of you if they need to.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, I really appreciate this conversation.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_00: It was so great.
• 54:08
  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking to buy or sell your house, Cheryl's your girl, contact her, do all those things and be gentle with yourself because this is like it's hard.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_00: Be patient.
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's yeah, it can be very overwhelming, as we just discussed.
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_00: But thank you again.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone, make sure to follow us on Outside the Therapy Room Pod, and we will see you next week.
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Outside the Therapy Room.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_00: If you reside in Ontario and are interested in working with one of our therapists, please visit our website in the show notes.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_00: If you reside outside of Ontario, a quick Google search or search through psychology today will help you find a therapist near you.