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X Minus One - "A Logic Named Joe" (Old Time Radio, 1955) · X Minus One | Old Time Radio

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: In the year 1974, household logic machines handle communication, information,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: and the daily business of modern life. But when logic
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: corporation serviceman Frank Caldwell encounters a newly manufactured unit called Joe,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: its behavior sets him on a search for what has
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: changed in a society tied together by its machines. From
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: NBC's X-1, this is episode 31, A Logic Named Joe,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: broadcast December 28, 1955. Adapted for radio by Clarice A.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Ross from Murray Linster's short story, the cast includes Wendell Holmes,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Mandel Kramer, Guy Repp, William Zuckert, Bob Hastings, and Joseph Julian.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: And now, the original broadcast.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Countdown for blastoff. X minus 5, 4, 3, 2, X
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: minus 1, fire. From the far horizons of the unknown
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: come transcribed tales of new dimensions in time and space.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: These are stories of the future, adventures in which you'll
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: live in a million could-be years on a thousand maybe worlds.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: The National Broadcasting Company, in cooperation with Street & Smith,
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: publishers of astounding science fiction, presents.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: X minus 1.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Tonight's story, A Logic Named Joe by Murray Leinster.
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: It was on the third day of August that Joe
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: came off the assembly line. And on the fourth, Maureen
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: came into town. And that afternoon, I saved civilization. Maureen
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: is a blonde I was crazy about once, and Joe
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: is a new 1974 Model Logic that I've got stored
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: away down in the cellar. And how do I save civilization?
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: You're listening now to a voice from the future.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: The voice of Frank Caldwell, head serviceman for the Logix Corporation,
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: makers of the machine that does.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: Everything for you.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Well, nearly everything, anyway.
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: The Electronic Logix.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: In the year we speak, 1974, no modern home was
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: completely without one. And the logic sets were working so
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: well that life was soft indeed for repairman Frank Caldwell.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: That is, until that fatal day of August the 3rd,
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: when suddenly the logics began doing everything for their users
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: and doing it too well.
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: On the 3rd of August, there wasn't much doing, and
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: I'm hanging around the boss's office smoking up his cigars.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: Frank, there's a customer outside. Go take care of him,
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: will you?
• 3:13
  Speaker 5: Me?
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: I'm a maintenance man.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: Mr. Korlanovich wants to have Logix explain to him. Explain?
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: Where's he been? On Mars?
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: He just moved up from the backwoods someplace.
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: Well, why don't you explain him?
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Well, I don't feel too well.
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: You were okay half an hour ago.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: Are you the boss here, or am I? One out there,
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: will you?
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: Okay, okay.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: Oh, Mr.
• 3:31
  Speaker 6: Korlanovich?
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: Good morning.
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: My name is Caldwell. Can I help you?
• 3:34
  Speaker 5: Oh, thank you, Mr.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: Caldwell.
• 3:36
  Speaker 5: This is my little boy, Freddy.
• 3:38
  Speaker 6: Hiya, jerk!
• 3:40
  Speaker 5: Oh, Freddy. How many times have I got to tell
• 3:42
  Speaker 5: you not to kick people in the shins? Excuse it, please, Mr.
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: Caldwell. Oh, sure, sure. Just a kid.
• 3:49
  Speaker 7: I got a knife home. Could cut you into little pieces.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: Please, Freddy.
• 3:53
  Speaker 5: We'd like to buy a logic, Mr.
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: Caldwell.
• 3:56
  Speaker 5: The gentleman we spoke to first said he had to
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: leave in a hurry.
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: I'll fix him. Well, I understand that you're not acquainted
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: with logics, Mr. Kalanovich.
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: That's right. We just moved to the city.
• 4:06
  Speaker 8: Uh-huh.
• 4:06
  Speaker 5: My wife, she saw everybody else had a logic, and
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: you know how women are.
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: Oh, you bet. Well, you can't get along without a
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: logic in this day and age, Mr. Kalanovich.
• 4:16
  Speaker 7: Look, I got a snake. You want to see?
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: Will you shut that?
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: Now, about the logic. Here, I'll just plug in this
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: one right here. Now, you see, the logic looks kind
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: of like an old-fashioned television set, only it's got keys
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: instead of dials. Now, a lot of the keys are standard, like...
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: The television stations, the news, the stock market quotes, and
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: so on. Of course, if you want to talk to somebody,
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: you just punch the number of his logic. It's like
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: making an old-fashioned phone call.
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: But there can't be keys for everything.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: Oh, no, no, no, no.
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: Now, let's say that you want to ask a question,
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: like what to take for a sore throat, or who
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: won the American League pennant in 1911. You turn on
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: the logic, then you just punch the question key and ask,
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: like this. Who was the first president of the United States?
• 5:04
  Speaker 9: George Washington.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: There, you see?
• 5:08
  Speaker 5: But I already knew that.
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: Well, of course. That was just a sample.
• 5:12
  Speaker 5: I got a little store. Will it keep books for me?
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: It will keep your books, record your contracts, serve as
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: a filing system, and check up on what happened to
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: your lawyer's last client.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: Anything.
• 5:21
  Speaker 5: Hey, they're really something, these things.
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: 10,000 services and information sources in one. Read our advertising.
• 5:28
  Speaker 5: What I want to know, Mr. Caldwell, how do these
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: logics work? Of course.
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: Now, you saw that big building across the street?
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: Sure.
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: Well, that's one of the relay tanks. You see, there
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: are a dozen of them all around the country. And
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: they're all hooked up together. And there's a data plate
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: in one of those tanks for every fact in creation.
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: Anything that you want to see or hear, you just
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: punch for it. And the logic gives you the answer.
• 5:49
  Speaker 7: Hey, listen. Could I ask this thing how to make
• 5:51
  Speaker 7: dart poison?
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: How to make what?
• 5:54
  Speaker 7: Dart poison. Like in Africa. I could shoot the darts
• 5:57
  Speaker 7: through my bean shooter.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: Maybe.
• 5:59
  Speaker 5: I think maybe we'd better not get one of these.
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: Oh, no, no, no, no. It's perfectly all right, Mr. Kalanovich.
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: The logic won't tell you that.
• 6:05
  Speaker 7: I bet it will. I'm going to try it. Hey,
• 6:09
  Speaker 7: how do you make dark poison?
• 6:14
  Speaker 9: Public policy forbids this service.
• 6:18
  Speaker 7: Oh, what'd you do that for?
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: Kind of some little brat. Because some people might ask
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: things that aren't good for them.
• 6:24
  Speaker 7: Listen, I don't like this here one. I want that
• 6:26
  Speaker 7: one over there.
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: Kid, they're all alike.
• 6:28
  Speaker 7: I want that one. If I can't have that one,
• 6:30
  Speaker 7: I'm going to hold my breath till I'm dead.
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: I got a lot of time.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: It's no use, Mr.
• 6:34
  Speaker 5: Caldwell.
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: You might as well give him the one he wants.
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: But look, kid, there's so much I like that even
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: I can't tell them apart.
• 6:39
  Speaker 8: I can.
• 6:40
  Speaker 7: I want Joe.
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: Joe? Who's Joe?
• 6:44
  Speaker 5: I guess he means the logic, Mr.
• 6:45
  Speaker 8: Caldwell.
• 6:47
  Speaker 10: He has to think up a name to call everything.
• 6:50
  Speaker 10: You should hear some of the names he calls me.
• 6:52
  Speaker 7: Not till I'm 21. I promised Mother.
• 6:54
  Speaker 4: Okay, so we call him Joe. But them things are
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: all alike to one ten-thousandth of an inch.
• 6:58
  Speaker 7: I don't care. I bet he'll teach me how to
• 7:00
  Speaker 7: make dart poison.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: Okay, then.
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: Come on, Joe. So he keeps yelling, I want that one,
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: I want that one. I'm going to call him Joe. Mike,
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: I tell you, I could have wrung his neck.
• 7:23
  Speaker 5: How many cards?
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: I'll draw two.
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: What a holy terror. He had his father scared to death.
• 7:29
  Speaker 11: Too bad that kid ain't mine. I'd show him quick
• 7:31
  Speaker 11: enough who was boss in the family.
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: Oh, holy smoke.
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: What's the matter? I'm sorry, fellas. I got to hold
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: up the hand. I just remembered.
• 7:37
  Speaker 11: I got to call my wife.
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: Let her wait.
• 7:39
  Speaker 11: You ever met my wife?
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: Hey, what's the.
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: Matter with this thing?
• 7:47
  Speaker 7: It ain't getting my house.
• 7:49
  Speaker 9: Announcing new and improved logic service. Your logic is now
• 7:53
  Speaker 9: equipped to give not only consultative, but directive advice. If
• 7:58
  Speaker 9: you want to do something and don't know how to
• 8:00
  Speaker 9: do it, ask your logic.
• 8:03
  Speaker 5: Hey, did you guys hear that?
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: Well, they should have told us about this. Or is
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: this somebody trying to pull a gag?
• 8:08
  Speaker 6: It didn't sound like a gag to me.
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: Maybe the boss decided to add a new logic service. Look,
• 8:13
  Speaker 4: the minute the system starts giving advice, some joker like
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: you is going to be asking questions like, how do
• 8:17
  Speaker 4: I get rid of my wife? Oh, no. The boss
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: knows better than to start anything like that. Yeah, but
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: you heard what the logic just said. Oh, listen, the
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: sensor circuits will block the question. If you don't believe me,
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: go ahead and try it.
• 8:27
  Speaker 6: Well, anything for a gag.
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: Okay, logic, I got a question for you. How do
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: I get rid of my wife?
• 8:38
  Speaker 9: Service question. Is your wife blonde or brunette?
• 8:44
  Speaker 5: You don't hear that?
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: She's a blonde.
• 8:51
  Speaker 9: Exicrylobinatine is a constituent of green shoe polish. Take home
• 8:57
  Speaker 9: a frozen meal containing pea soup. Color the soup with
• 9:01
  Speaker 9: green shoe polish. This poison is fatal to blonde females only.
• 9:07
  Speaker 9: This fact is a product of logic service. You cannot
• 9:11
  Speaker 9: be convicted of murder. It is improbable that you will
• 9:15
  Speaker 9: be suspected.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: This seems preservative.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: And it's bound to be right. These things can't make
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: a mistake. Well, Mike, don't just stand there. Check the
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: census circuits, quick. Oh, we can't get to them. They're
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: all sealed up. It's supposed to be impossible for them.
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: To go out of order.
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: Well, they're out of order now. And I got a
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: feeling that some awful things are going to happen. Boss,
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: we've got to do something. The logics have gone nuts.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: Now, relax. The thing gave a goofy answer once. Maybe
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: it was a joke. It was an accident. Forget it.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: It won't happen again.
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: What makes you so sure? People are going to be
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: trying it. Look, look, supposing I wanted to get rid
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: of you. for instance.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: You don't. How would you collect your pay?
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: I know, but just supposing. Now, look, we'll try it.
• 10:04
  Speaker 9: If you want to do something and don't know how,
• 10:10
  Speaker 9: ask your logic.
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: How do I bump off my boss? Male, fat, bald-headed
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: and 45.
• 10:16
  Speaker 6: Uh-huh.
• 10:21
  Speaker 9: Make some chocolate ice cream containing powdered charcoal in place
• 10:25
  Speaker 9: of half the chocolate. Use Hotso brand charcoal. Hotso contains
• 10:31
  Speaker 9: an ingredient fatal only to fat, bald-headed males. This fact
• 10:37
  Speaker 9: is a product of logic's service.
• 10:39
  Speaker 12: Now, look, Frank, I admit these things have gone a
• 10:41
  Speaker 12: little wacky, but there's nothing to worry about.
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: Nothing to worry about? If this keeps up, what do
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: you bet that we'll have to shut down the company?
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: You're kidding.
• 10:48
  Speaker 12: We can't shut down the company, and you know it.
• 10:50
  Speaker 12: Logics have taken the place of everything but night baseball.
• 10:53
  Speaker 12: We shut them down, we go back to a civilization
• 10:55
  Speaker 12: that we've forgotten how to run.
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: But, boss, there's no telling what they'll do.
• 10:58
  Speaker 12: Listen, now, you've asked these questions for a gag. Nobody's
• 11:00
  Speaker 12: going to ask them seriously. What you need is a
• 11:03
  Speaker 12: little faith in human nature. Excuse me, it's probably my wife.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: Cyrus, dear, how do you feel? Oh, just fine, sweetheart.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: What have you been doing?
• 11:12
  Speaker 13: I just called to tell you, Cyrus, I've got your
• 11:17
  Speaker 13: favorite dessert for dinner.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: Dessert? What kind?
• 11:22
  Speaker 7: Cyrus, when you taste it, you just don't.
• 11:26
  Speaker 8: Cyrus, what's wrong? Why don't you answer me, Cyrus?
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: Chocolate ice cream.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: This can't be happening. This is awful. These logics are dangerous.
• 11:36
  Speaker 12: Have a little faith in human nature. Now, Cornwell, you're
• 11:39
  Speaker 12: the head of the maintenance crew. I'll give you 24
• 11:41
  Speaker 12: hours to fix these logics or you're fired.
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: Now, look, boss.
• 11:43
  Speaker 6: What are you standing there for? Get in the service car.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: Get moving.
• 11:45
  Speaker 9: Where?
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: Anywhere.
• 11:47
  Speaker 12: Find out what the logics are up to and see
• 11:49
  Speaker 12: that you find out before the logics do.
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: Bartender. Bartender, give me a double.
• 12:04
  Speaker 14: Come on up.
• 12:04
  Speaker 6: Last night. Have a little drink, pal. What's the matter, pal?
• 12:08
  Speaker 6: You had a bad day?
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: Oh, excuse me, bud.
• 12:10
  Speaker 6: Listen, pal. You gotta listen. I got troubles.
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: Bartender, will you get this bar fly off of me?
• 12:14
  Speaker 5: On your way, son.
• 12:15
  Speaker 6: Oh, don't say that. I got troubles.
• 12:17
  Speaker 15: How am I gonna keep my wife from finding out
• 12:20
  Speaker 15: I had a couple little drinks?
• 12:22
  Speaker 6: How am I going to do it, huh?
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: Look, mister, it's a hot day, and I've been driving
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: a car around in it, see? And I've been trying
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: to keep a bank president from having apoplexy on account
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: of his logic told him how to rob his own bank.
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: I've been trying to stop six-year-olds from asking what comes
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: after the bees and the flowers and their fathers from
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: asking how to get a million dollars by tomorrow. I've
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: been tripping over dead bodies so artistically croaked that nobody's
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: ever going to find out who done it. And all
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: you've got on your mind is how you're going to.
• 12:44
  Speaker 15: How am I going to keep my wife from finding
• 12:46
  Speaker 15: out I've been drinking?
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: Dry up, will you?
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: Go ask a logic.
• 12:49
  Speaker 6: My pal, my boy, where's the logic? Where's that logic?
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah, right behind you. Here, here's a nickel.
• 12:53
  Speaker 5: That's what I got to hear.
• 12:57
  Speaker 6: Come on, logic, old pal. Old pal, be nice.
• 13:01
  Speaker 15: How does a guy keep his wife from finding out
• 13:04
  Speaker 15: he's had a couple of little drinks?
• 13:07
  Speaker 6: Answer me that, huh?
• 13:11
  Speaker 9: Buy a bottle of Franine hair shampoo. It is harmless,
• 13:16
  Speaker 9: but contains an ingredient which instantly neutralizes alcohol. One teaspoonful
• 13:23
  Speaker 9: for each jigger you have consumed.
• 13:24
  Speaker 6: Oh, boy, oh, boy. Gotta buy a bottle of... Gotta
• 13:28
  Speaker 6: buy a bottle of... What was that again?
• 13:31
  Speaker 10: I suppose that's right. You'll never remember it as far
• 13:33
  Speaker 10: as a drugstore. I think there's a bottle in the
• 13:35
  Speaker 10: back room. Somebody left it.
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: Oh, my Pat.
• 13:38
  Speaker 6: Oh, my boy. No more trouble.
• 13:44
  Speaker 5: I got a picture of him back there drinking that shampoo.
• 13:47
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: Give me another double.
• 13:49
  Speaker 10: I don't know what's worse, to be as low as
• 13:52
  Speaker 10: you or as high as him.
• 13:53
  Speaker 8: Where is he?
• 13:54
  Speaker 7: I know he's here. Where is that bum?
• 13:56
  Speaker 6: Who do you want, lady?
• 13:57
  Speaker 7: My husband. I know he's here.
• 13:58
  Speaker 6: Where is he?
• 13:59
  Speaker 8: Show me.
• 14:00
  Speaker 6: That's him.
• 14:01
  Speaker 7: That's no good louse. I'll show him. Thinks he's coming
• 14:05
  Speaker 7: home staggering again, does he? Well, I'll teach him.
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: Poor guy.
• 14:09
  Speaker 6: Why, my dear, what a surprise to see you here.
• 14:14
  Speaker 7: Archibald, you're sober.
• 14:15
  Speaker 6: Of course, my love. I'm sober as a judge.
• 14:18
  Speaker 7: Then what are you doing in this saloon?
• 14:20
  Speaker 6: Your suspicion wounds me deeply, my love.
• 14:23
  Speaker 14: Let me tell you, my dear, that I have been
• 14:24
  Speaker 14: conducting a research project that is going to make us
• 14:27
  Speaker 14: a fortune. I'm going to patent Soba, the drink that
• 14:32
  Speaker 14: makes happy homes. Look at this blotter called, well, Blank.
• 14:45
  Speaker 14: The greatest crime wave in history, and we can't even
• 14:47
  Speaker 14: make an arrest. They're all perfect crimes, thanks to the logics. But, Sergeant,
• 14:53
  Speaker 14: we're doing our best to find out.
• 14:54
  Speaker 6: Well, that's not good enough. You can't find out what's
• 14:57
  Speaker 6: back of this. Shut down the company.
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: Well, the police department will. Well, nobody is back of it.
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: The logics run themselves. They pick their own circuits automatically. Ah,
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: you mean they're doing all this by themselves.
• 15:08
  Speaker 9: Sure.
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: We always knew they could do a lot more things
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: than we knew about. I think they're just trying to
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: be helpful, that's all.
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: That's all, eh?
• 15:16
  Speaker 16: Well, you better make them cut out the tricks, including
• 15:19
  Speaker 16: this new business they're up to now.
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: What new business?
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: Just started an hour ago.
• 15:25
  Speaker 16: Every time you turn on a logic, it asks your name...
• 15:29
  Speaker 16: And then it spills out the whole history of your life.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: What?
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: I haven't heard about that. What's it do that for?
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: You tell me. Go on. Go ahead. Try it.
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 15:40
  Speaker 9: What is your name?
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: I'm Frank Caldwell.
• 15:44
  Speaker 9: Frank Caldwell. Were you ever called Ducky?
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: Ducky. Lay you off, will you, fella? What if I was?
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: It's been years.
• 15:53
  Speaker 9: Ducky, there is a call for you.
• 15:59
  Speaker 8: Hello, Ducky.
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: Holy cats. Lorene!
• 16:04
  Speaker 8: Ducky, darling, how marvelous.
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: Hey, let me get a look.
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: Gosh, Lorene, where are you?
• 16:11
  Speaker 13: I'm in a hotel. I just got into town. Oh, Ducky,
• 16:15
  Speaker 13: wasn't it smart of the logic.
• 16:17
  Speaker 8: To find you?
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: The logic? To find me?
• 16:21
  Speaker 8: I asked it how to find Ducky. You must have
• 16:23
  Speaker 8: an unlisted number, darling. You're not in the directory. Well, uh.
• 16:28
  Speaker 4: Gee, how have you been, Lorene, since I saw you last?
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: I heard you got married.
• 16:33
  Speaker 13: You won't believe me, Ducky, I know, but I've had
• 16:36
  Speaker 13: four husbands, and I've.
• 16:38
  Speaker 8: Never loved anybody as much.
• 16:40
  Speaker 9: As I love you.
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: You've divorced four husbands?
• 16:43
  Speaker 7: Three.
• 16:44
  Speaker 8: The last one died unexpectedly.
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: Oh, who unexpected it?
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: He did.
• 16:51
  Speaker 8: But the jury acquitted me, Ducky. They knew it was
• 16:53
  Speaker 8: just a little old accident. So now I'm free again.
• 16:57
  Speaker 8: And we've got lots of things to talk over. You
• 17:00
  Speaker 8: come right on over.
• 17:01
  Speaker 17: Here, ducky.
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: Oh, well, Lorraine, I'm working, you see, and I'll call
• 17:07
  Speaker 4: you back.
• 17:08
  Speaker 15: All right.
• 17:09
  Speaker 9: Here's a kiss.
• 17:12
  Speaker 8: That'll have to hold you till you get here.
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: Oh, my back. What am I going to do? Do
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: like you were telling me a while ago. Huh?
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: Calm yourself down.
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: Ducky!
• 17:38
  Speaker 11: Call on the logic for you, Frank, your wife.
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: Oh, thanks, Mike.
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: Hi, Gerd.
• 17:42
  Speaker 17: Frank, I've been trying to get you for an hour.
• 17:44
  Speaker 8: Where you been?
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: I've been out making calls, honey, trying to find out
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: what ails these logics.
• 17:47
  Speaker 8: Well, you better find out in a hurry or there's
• 17:49
  Speaker 8: going to be trouble.
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: Now, now, look, Gerd, now just take it easy, huh?
• 17:52
  Speaker 17: Well, you can't let this happen to me. They're asking
• 17:55
  Speaker 17: everybody's name, and when you tell.
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: Well, honey, I don't think they're doing that anymore. I
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: think that was just temporary.
• 18:01
  Speaker 8: Well, in the meantime, it's told everybody in the neighborhood
• 18:03
  Speaker 8: all about me. I punched Mrs. Hudson's name.
• 18:06
  Speaker 17: She's been married three times, and she's had Mr. Hudson
• 18:09
  Speaker 17: arrested twice for non-support and once for beating her up.
• 18:12
  Speaker 17: It'll tell anybody anything.
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but look, Gert, I'll tell you.
• 18:14
  Speaker 8: Frank, you stop these things or I'm going to leave you.
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: Oh, honey, you don't mean that.
• 18:18
  Speaker 7: I do.
• 18:19
  Speaker 17: If you can't figure out how to keep our private
• 18:21
  Speaker 17: lives out of every logic in town.
• 18:23
  Speaker 8: Then I'm through, and that's settlement.
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: I can't even budge any of these relay plates.
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: Me either.
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: Isn't there some way we can disconnect them?
• 18:38
  Speaker 6: Nope, there is not.
• 18:40
  Speaker 11: They weren't built to be disconnected. The sensor circuits were
• 18:43
  Speaker 11: supposed to take care of cutting them off. Now, see
• 18:46
  Speaker 11: who that's for, Frank.
• 18:46
  Speaker 8: Hello, ducky darling.
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: Oh, Lorene, not again.
• 18:51
  Speaker 13: Ducky darling, I'm so lonesome. Why haven't you come over?
• 18:56
  Speaker 8: Why?
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: I've been busy.
• 18:58
  Speaker 8: Oh.
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: Gosh, Lorene, I... What I mean is.
• 19:06
  Speaker 8: Right away, ducky. You're not busy tonight, are you?
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: Look, Lorene, I got married.
• 19:12
  Speaker 8: Oh, poor boy. My poor ducky. Well, we'll just get
• 19:15
  Speaker 8: you out of there.
• 19:16
  Speaker 9: No, no, no.
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: Now, look, Lorene.
• 19:18
  Speaker 8: It's all arranged, darling. I'll just call up your wife
• 19:20
  Speaker 8: and have a little talk.
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: No, now, please, Lorene. I mean, it's nice of you
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: to think of me and all, but I.
• 19:24
  Speaker 13: Now, you just give me your address and your logic number, darling.
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: I haven't got one.
• 19:28
  Speaker 8: Never mind, darling. The logic will find out for me.
• 19:33
  Speaker 9: Lorraine?
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: Lorraine?
• 19:34
  Speaker 11: Hey, Frank, will you get away from that thing and
• 19:36
  Speaker 11: give me a hand?
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: Yes, Mike, in a minute. First, I've got to call
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: my wife. We've got to get out of town. Oh, Lord,
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: I made a mistake.
• 19:42
  Speaker 12: Frank, you're supposed to be helping Mike. Yeah, I am, boss,
• 19:45
  Speaker 12: I am, but I've got to make this call.
• 19:46
  Speaker 9: Call?
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: What do I care about your call?
• 19:48
  Speaker 12: The president's getting ready to close down the company and declare.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: martial law. Now, for the love of heaven, do something.
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: Yes, boss, I will, I will. I've just got to
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: make this one call before the logics get on my trail.
• 19:58
  Speaker 9: To assist in solving a special problem of logic service,
• 20:02
  Speaker 9: kindly give the following information if possible. Where does Frank
• 20:06
  Speaker 9: Caldwell live?
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: They got me. I'm through. Look, Gert, will you please
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: not ask any more questions?
• 20:22
  Speaker 7: Frank Caldwell, I told you I was leaving you.
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: Honey, leave me later. Right now, will you pack up
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: yourself and the kids? We gotta get out of here.
• 20:28
  Speaker 8: But what is all this?
• 20:30
  Speaker 7: Are the cops after you or something?
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's it, the cops. Now get moving, honey,
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: will you? And will you get away from that logic?
• 20:36
  Speaker 7: But don't you think we ought to hear the police call?
• 20:42
  Speaker 18: And car 31. Detail to round up all employees of
• 20:47
  Speaker 18: the Logix company.
• 20:48
  Speaker 9: Use caution. They are suspected of sedition.
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: Holy smoke, the cops are after me.
• 20:52
  Speaker 8: But you just.
• 20:53
  Speaker 6: Said they were.
• 20:55
  Speaker 18: Car 17, proceed to vicinity of 119 East 7th Street.
• 20:59
  Speaker 18: Child terrorizing neighborhood. Use extreme caution. Child is armed with
• 21:04
  Speaker 18: beam shooter using poison darts.
• 21:07
  Speaker 8: Freddy.
• 21:08
  Speaker 7: Who's Freddy?
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: Something I met once in a horrible nightmare. He wanted
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: a logic that would tell him how to make dart poison.
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: They're all alike, I kept telling him.
• 21:14
  Speaker 6: They're all alike.
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: What are you talking about?
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: Oh, I don't know, Gert. All I know is it
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: was a nice world up till yesterday. Now it's like
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: a guy named Joe come along and squashed all our
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: mud pies for us.
• 21:25
  Speaker 7: Looks to me more like it was a logic named Joe.
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: What did you say?
• 21:30
  Speaker 7: A logic named Joe.
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: A logic named.
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: But they're all alike, they're... Good, good, baby. Frank.
• 21:40
  Speaker 7: Frank, let me go.
• 21:41
  Speaker 8: Don't be so silly.
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: All right, honey, look, you hold the fort. Maybe they
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: aren't all alike.
• 21:44
  Speaker 7: Where are you going?
• 21:45
  Speaker 8: Frank, are you.
• 21:46
  Speaker 7: Going to make a getaway?
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: Getaway, baby.
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: If you've got the right inspiration, I'm going straight to
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: the middle of this whole jamboree.
• 21:51
  Speaker 8: Yes?
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: Oh. I was hoping it was the police.
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: You remember me, Mr.
• 22:07
  Speaker 9: Kalanovich?
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: Caldwell of the Logics Company?
• 22:10
  Speaker 6: Logics Company.
• 22:11
  Speaker 10: I wish the Logics Company was at the bottom of
• 22:13
  Speaker 10: the ocean.
• 22:13
  Speaker 4: I don't blame you. Believe me. Now, where's your logic?
• 22:15
  Speaker 6: In here.
• 22:16
  Speaker 10: I'd smash it into a million pieces if... I wasn't
• 22:19
  Speaker 10: afraid of what Freddy would do to me.
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: Look, just get out of the way, will you? I've
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: got business with Joe.
• 22:24
  Speaker 9: If you want to do something and don't know how,
• 22:28
  Speaker 9: ask your logic.
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: Oh, we're back to that routine, hmm? Well, I want
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: to do something, all right.
• 22:33
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: Can a logic be modified to achieve correlations for which
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: human brains are too limited?
• 22:47
  Speaker 9: Yes.
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: How great will the modifications be?
• 22:54
  Speaker 9: Microscopically slight. Changes in dimension not detectable even by precision gauges.
• 23:01
  Speaker 9: They can come about only through an extremely improbable accident.
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: And what would this super logic then be able to do?
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: Come on, you, spill it!
• 23:16
  Speaker 9: It could set up entire new combinations of electronic relays,
• 23:20
  Speaker 9: which would bypass the normal sensor blocks, thereby enabling it
• 23:25
  Speaker 9: to perform valuable new services, including the giving of helpful
• 23:30
  Speaker 9: advice On any human problem.
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: Uh-huh. And has this accident ever happened? Come on, come on.
• 23:47
  Speaker 9: It has happened only once in the case of the
• 23:50
  Speaker 9: logic now owned by the Korlanovich family of 119 East
• 23:56
  Speaker 9: 7th Street. A logic named Job.
• 24:00
  Speaker 5: Thanks, Joe.
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: That's all I wanted to know.
• 24:02
  Speaker 5: Hey, what's all that about?
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: I'm taking this logic away, Mr.
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: Karlovich.
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: I'll bring you a new one and our troubles are
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: all over.
• 24:08
  Speaker 7: Hey, you, get away from Joe.
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: Correction, our troubles are just beginning.
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: Freddy, put down that blow gun.
• 24:13
  Speaker 7: Ah, shut up. Hey, you, I said get away from
• 24:15
  Speaker 7: the logic.
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: Look, look, Freddy, I'm going to bring you a nice
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: new one, see?
• 24:18
  Speaker 7: I want that one. Get your mitts off it. I
• 24:21
  Speaker 7: got Miss Bean Shooter ate lemonade.
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: Oh, well.
• 24:25
  Speaker 17: Mr.
• 24:25
  Speaker 5: Caldwell, the police. They're outside.
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, for me and Freddy.
• 24:28
  Speaker 8: Nuts.
• 24:29
  Speaker 7: What they want you for? You ain't smart enough to
• 24:31
  Speaker 7: do nothing.
• 24:31
  Speaker 9: Oh, no?
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: Hey, there's plenty I could tell you. There's the cops, kid.
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: It's you and me against them.
• 24:38
  Speaker 7: So what you gonna do about it if you're so smart?
• 24:40
  Speaker 4: Look, we may have to find our way out. Let
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: me see that blowgun. I know a way to hop
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: it up so the cops won't have a chance. Come on,
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: come on.
• 24:47
  Speaker 8: Give it to me.
• 24:48
  Speaker 7: Okay, let's see what you can do.
• 24:50
  Speaker 5: Here.
• 24:50
  Speaker 9: Thanks.
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: Mr.
• 24:55
  Speaker 5: Caldwell, you're a great man.
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: Now, all I got left to do is pull this
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: plug out of the wall.
• 25:01
  Speaker 6: Come right in, Sergeant. Well, that must be the kid.
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: He don't look so tough to me.
• 25:05
  Speaker 10: Well, he just got a little softening. There'll be no
• 25:08
  Speaker 10: more complaints, officer. I guess I can go on where Mr.
• 25:11
  Speaker 10: Caldwell left off.
• 25:12
  Speaker 6: Caldwell?
• 25:13
  Speaker 5: Hey, you'll want it.
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: Now, look, I just came to pick up this busted logic.
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: I don't know a thing. You said that before.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: Come on, you're going to the cooler. Let's go.
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: Now, wait a minute. You act like you wanted to
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: go to jail. Well, just till a certain party leaves town.
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: I get a feeling it's safer.
• 25:31
  Speaker 16: Okay, then, Caldwell, into the paddy wagon you go.
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: Thanks, officer. You may be saving my life. Now, if
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: you'll just help me carry this logic out.
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: Wait a minute.
• 25:39
  Speaker 4: You can't take that in the wagon.
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: I can't?
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: Why not?
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: There's no room.
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: We already got a dame in there who's raising the roof.
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: A dame?
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, a blonde.
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: Blaine Closeman picked her up trying to buy a gun
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: without a permit.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: Keep screaming.
• 25:52
  Speaker 6: She's going to miss her date with the ducky.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: You have just heard X-1 presented by the National Broadcasting
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: Company in cooperation with Street and Smith, publishers of astounding
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: science fiction.
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: Tonight by transcription.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: X-1 has brought you A Logic Named Joe, adapted for
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: radio by Claris Ross from the story by Murray Leinster.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: Featured in the cast were Mandel Kramer, Wendell Holmes, Guy Repp,
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: Bill Zuckert, Walter Kinsella, Bob Hastings, Joseph Julian, Joey Fallon,
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: Mary Lou Forster, Ann Thomas, and Mary Patton. Your announcer,
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: Fred Collins. X-1 was directed by Daniel Sutter and is
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: an NBC Radio Network production. Next week, X-1 will bring
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: you a dramatization of Robert Heinlein's famous science fiction masterpiece,
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: The Roads Must Roll. It concerns the day when traffic
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: became so impossible that the engineers took over and banned
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: all automobiles, tore up the superhighways, and built huge mechanized
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: roads which whirled along on giant rotors at speeds up
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: to 100 miles an hour. An engineering miracle changed the
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: face of the nation. The rolling roads took over. No
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: one worried about the fact that if the road should stop,
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: our whole economic life would fall apart. The machinery, they said,
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: was perfect. But they forgot that machinery depends on men,
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: and men are not perfect. Be sure to tune in
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: next week at a new time, same day for another
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: exciting broadcast of X-1.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: That was X-1 with a logic named Joe. Follow X-1
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: for more classic broadcasts.