Latest / MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose / Episode 158: How God Wired You: The 8 Great Smarts with Dr. Kathy Koch, PhD

Transcript

Episode 158: How God Wired You: The 8 Great Smarts with Dr. Kathy Koch, PhD · MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose

0:06
[SPEAKER_01]: This is Cynthia Gannoff, and you are listening to the mesmerized podcast.
0:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, hello, welcome to the podcast.
0:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so glad you're with us today, and I hope you listen to Candace Cameron Buray last week.
0:21
[SPEAKER_01]: If not, go back and listen.
0:22
[SPEAKER_01]: She's super fun.
0:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And then today, Dr. Kathy Cook is back, and I am giddy because if you recall, she was on earlier in the summer where you're talking out adult kids and just resolving conflict and maintaining relationships with them.
0:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I knew she had written this book called A Great Smart.
0:37
[SPEAKER_01]: She's written a million books.
0:39
[SPEAKER_01]: But I knew she had written this one because a listener to one of my other podcasts had deemed me one time after I was mentioning the one of my kid's struggles academically massively.
0:48
[SPEAKER_01]: And someone said, read this book, it will change your perspective.
0:52
[SPEAKER_01]: And I did, and my goodness.
0:54
[SPEAKER_01]: I wish that we could make this book like mandatory reading for all parents, for all educators, really just for all people, all humans, or at least listen to the podcast and get the overview.
1:05
[SPEAKER_01]: But the gist, I just want to start you off with the gist so that you're going in knowing where we're headed with this, is that we're all created with certain smarts, logic smart, word smart, picture smart, music smart, body smart, nature smart, people smart, self smart.
1:19
[SPEAKER_01]: And knowing which smarts are stronger in the smarts that are your strongest ones will really dictate all that you do.
1:26
[SPEAKER_01]: And it was set across that she'll hear in this interview kind of evolving for me because as I realize that I am word smart and people smart.
1:35
[SPEAKER_01]: That word smart could be a lawyer, right?
1:37
[SPEAKER_01]: But I was never a great lawyer.
1:39
[SPEAKER_01]: We all know that we all talk about that.
1:40
[SPEAKER_01]: But my husband is a great lawyer who is also word smart, but he's also logic smart, which I'm not really logic smart.
1:48
[SPEAKER_01]: And so what makes me a good author, arguably, or not.
1:51
[SPEAKER_01]: I guess that's up to the people.
1:53
[SPEAKER_01]: But it does not necessarily make me a great attorney.
1:56
[SPEAKER_01]: And that was like a light bulb moment for me.
1:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Also they're looking at my kids and saying, oh, this makes sense why they excelled in these areas and struggled on these areas.
2:04
[SPEAKER_01]: and I wish I could have put language around it with my older ones earlier on, but yet there is a chance for JB for sure.
2:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I'm just excited for you to hear this interview.
2:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Dr. Cook is such a resource and she's so kind and freely gives her time to us and I cannot wait for you to hear this.
2:21
[SPEAKER_01]: So I would like to just encourage you one, listen, think about yourself, think about your kids, think about the people in your life,
2:28
[SPEAKER_01]: To I would love for you to share this with people that you think would benefit from this podcast and three consider ordering the book because it really is a game changer and my opinion So I can't wait for you to hear the center of your doctor Kathy and then one other quick PSA.
2:43
[SPEAKER_01]: I am booking for the spring now to speak and so if you have an event coming up in 2027 I would love to speak at it and you can reach out to me through my website something again off dot com
2:54
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a speaker request page and then I can get back to you and talk to you about different topics and whether or not it'd be a fit.
2:58
[SPEAKER_01]: So, we'd love to be considered for your next speaking event.
3:01
[SPEAKER_01]: We'd love to meet you.
3:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And here we go.
3:04
[SPEAKER_00]: The Doctor, Kathy.
3:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Doctor, Kathy, I'm so glad that you're back and that you're not dead.
3:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, my goodness, did you think I was dead?
3:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Remember, I'm the one, I'm the one who told everybody on my other podcast.
3:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, you're right.
3:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Amazing and dead in your last name was Koch.
3:23
[SPEAKER_00]: You're right.
3:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I do remember that now and but but here I am.
3:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I trust you.
3:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we're going to it's I go by Dr. Kathy professionally because my last name K O C H is hired to know how to pronounce and I am very alive.
3:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I love live in life.
3:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, are you alive and you are on recently talking about your other book, resolve conflict and find peace with hope and hope with adult children.
3:49
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm going to tell you something, I thought it was so good.
3:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I love the interview.
3:54
[SPEAKER_01]: But I, you know, sometimes I love them and I'm like, oh, I'm one of that resonated.
3:57
[SPEAKER_01]: This one I know it did because I got so much feedback.
4:00
[SPEAKER_01]: One particular girl, let me know that she listens to podcasts all the time, loves them.
4:06
[SPEAKER_01]: has never recommended one on social media until this one said it's the best podcast she's ever heard was you talking about this conflict the don't children so.
4:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks.
4:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for your yeah thanks for your support and that was a good interview I appreciate it that and I'm glad to be back with you to talk about.
4:24
[SPEAKER_00]: another concept that you understand well.
4:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm glad that we can talk with your people about it.
4:29
[SPEAKER_01]: I do.
4:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll link the other talk in podcast notes if you missed it.
4:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Today we're talking out eight great smarts which is not a new book, but why was it powerful?
4:39
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was telling you this for we started taping, but someone sent it to me.
4:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Anyone who listens knows this, but I have
4:46
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, two older kids, traditional like learners and college, all the things, and then I have a little one that we adopted from foster care and school is hard on every front for him and one of my listeners one time recommended this book and as I went through it, I was telling you not only does it like give me completely new eyes for him, but it gives me completely new eyes for myself and my older kids and even some of the things with my husband that I'm like,
5:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I was laughing thinking one day recently like he doesn't read a room real well sometimes and and I love you Mike I know you're probably listening, but I'll be like, I don't think he reads it.
5:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, it's because I have the people smart Like he's totally logic oriented and how the Lord just created us also uniquely and differently and you help us figure those things out So it's incredible
5:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I appreciate that so much, and isn't it encouraging to know that God chose this for us?
5:39
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, this is what I don't know how people who don't believe in God or the Bible.
5:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how they exist.
5:44
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't, I don't get it.
5:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I love knowing that I am who I am supposed to be.
5:50
[SPEAKER_00]: That God chose for me to be a logic smart word smart, people smart, thinker.
5:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And it just, it's just comforting.
5:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm excited that he completed it.
5:59
[SPEAKER_00]: He had created us in his image for his good and glory.
6:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, there's just so much.
6:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's good to be here.
6:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that the insights in the book have personally delighted you.
6:09
[SPEAKER_00]: It means a lot to me.
6:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
6:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, let's start with this, the word smart.
6:15
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a lot to that.
6:16
[SPEAKER_01]: And you talk about that when you start the book about the importance of that word and how that's a powerful word.
6:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Talk to us a little bit about that.
6:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it is.
6:25
[SPEAKER_00]: It's what I call a power word.
6:26
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I used to think that if people didn't think they were smart, they would study more.
6:31
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, if school is hired, I should study more.
6:34
[SPEAKER_00]: But if they arrive at the conclusion that school is hard because they're not smart, then they don't think study and will help.
6:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's a very, very dangerous thing.
6:42
[SPEAKER_00]: So I have met adults of all ages.
6:44
[SPEAKER_00]: who have not achieved what they could have achieved because they believe the lie that they were not capable.
6:51
[SPEAKER_00]: They didn't go on for an education.
6:53
[SPEAKER_00]: One specific example I'll always remember.
6:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I was doing a teacher training session and there was a woman in the room who was a teacher's age.
7:00
[SPEAKER_00]: She had a two-year
7:01
[SPEAKER_00]: uh... degree and she was an aid in a classroom and had believed the lie that she could never achieve a four year degree and become a teacher she heard me she recognized she's smart in all eight ways and she quit her job and went back to school and then took a job and became a certified teacher and that's just a great victory i was just at an event in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania did a parent program at night about the smarts and the very next morning did a chapel for
7:27
[SPEAKER_00]: the elementary school children and it was so much fun and there was a mom who was kind enough to email and thank me for what her son learned about himself and but then the real testimony was her husband who she sat next to that night who had never believed that he was wise or smart he was lucky he was he was he was he used effort to succeed but he wasn't smart and he sat up straighter and straighter as the night went on and and said to his wife later that
7:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been lied to and I understand now that I have been created smart.
8:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Cause you know what, you know what, Cynthia?
8:03
[SPEAKER_00]: If we don't think that we were created smart, we think we were jipped and that God doesn't love us as much as you love someone else.
8:08
[SPEAKER_00]: That's really dangerous.
8:09
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not a good place to be.
8:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Do we have?
8:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And we're gonna go through everybody, just everybody take a deep breath.
8:15
[SPEAKER_01]: We're gonna get to what the eight smarts are and we're gonna briefly hit on them, but you're also gonna need the book.
8:20
[SPEAKER_01]: But here's my question.
8:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Do we have all of the eight smarts?
8:25
[SPEAKER_01]: And some varying degree or would you argue that like you might just have one or two and not just, but those are your two primary ones and maybe you don't have the other ones.
8:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Based on the research of Dr. Howard Gardner, where he looked at MRIs and stroke patients and savants and people with cardiac accidents where they smash their head against a window and it changed their brain structure, based on all of that, we believe that we have the capacity for all eight.
8:50
[SPEAKER_00]: The earlier they're awakened, the greater the likelihood they're a strength for a lifetime.
8:54
[SPEAKER_00]: So if children don't have an eclectic beginning, if they have a
8:58
[SPEAKER_00]: more of a difficult beginning in life than maybe they don't have them awakened as early than they're not going to be strengths.
9:03
[SPEAKER_00]: But I do believe we have the capacity for all eight and it's never too late.
9:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I have met people in their 30s, 40s and 50s who for a variety of reasons chose to pursue something new and developed not just interest but talent.
9:16
[SPEAKER_00]: But I do think it's most realistic to think in terms of maybe our top four and our bottom four because that can help us
9:26
[SPEAKER_00]: hobbies, interests, and things like that.
9:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
9:29
[SPEAKER_01]: And even as I was reading through it, I love how in each chapter we probably won't have have time to hit all this.
9:35
[SPEAKER_01]: But you talk about how we connect with God based on those smarts.
9:39
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's brilliant because I grew up in a great amazing Christian home and in church all the time.
9:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, I always heard from people from a platform that's a certain kind of smart, right?
9:52
[SPEAKER_01]: A preacher, like these are kind of how your quiet times work.
9:55
[SPEAKER_01]: This is how the right way is to study God's Word, the right way.
9:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I just always felt like I just wasn't good at it, or I just didn't love God enough.
10:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, now knowing what I know, I just relate to the Lord in a way that's different, then perhaps someone that's standing on the platform that has the giftings of a preacher perhaps.
10:13
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it's even further than just am I school smart, not school smart, or whatever, I choose to believe out that, think about the way you connect with your creator as you read through this and how Dr. Kathy points it out.
10:25
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's novel to me.
10:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for saying that.
10:29
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so much fun to teach that to people.
10:31
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, one of the smarts is picture smart where we think with our eyes in pictures in our mind and on paper.
10:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And I love to ask these people, has God shown you something.
10:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And I have had young adults almost fall out of their chairs.
10:43
[SPEAKER_00]: They've never been asked that question before.
10:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And then they look around the room and they're right.
10:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Other people also see things that God gives them.
10:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Like because I'm not very picture smart, it's one of my weaker ones.
10:54
[SPEAKER_00]: God doesn't show me what to do.
10:55
[SPEAKER_00]: He tells me what to do.
10:57
[SPEAKER_00]: His word instructs me because I'm very word and logic smart, a very people smart, so conversations,
11:03
[SPEAKER_00]: and teaching opportunities and learning opportunities will be enriching for me.
11:07
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'll ask an audience, you know, how many of you needed an answer to a question?
11:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And God showed you what to do.
11:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's a picture smart reality.
11:16
[SPEAKER_00]: We think with our eyes, we think in vision, and with visuals, and they need to know that God sees them, and that God gets them.
11:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And I love to say to people that they are pay attention to how God pays attention to you.
11:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So rich.
11:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that we're here talking about.
11:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Really, really good.
11:35
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, as we've talked out, I have an adopted kiddo.
11:39
[SPEAKER_01]: And that is just struggles academically.
11:42
[SPEAKER_01]: And this is really meant a lot to me as I'm reading that.
11:45
[SPEAKER_01]: But here's the thing I'm interested in, and I think you talk out in the book that I think's an interesting concept.
11:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Is it nature versus nurture when it comes to smarts and this idea of awakening them and which smarts we have?
11:58
[SPEAKER_01]: I think about my oldest and she's very athletic.
12:01
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, ridiculously athletic, like maybe the most athletic girl we've ever seen crazy.
12:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And so we figured it out kind of early, but it was our first born and we didn't know that she was that off.
12:11
[SPEAKER_01]: We just thought every kid could catch a ball at 18 months.
12:14
[SPEAKER_01]: and throw in all these things.
12:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, my husband's a big athlete, and so we, she's always been in sports because he loves that she does sports.
12:22
[SPEAKER_01]: So some of that, I would say, right, is nature.
12:24
[SPEAKER_01]: She was probably born that way, but it has been highly nurtured in her life.
12:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Which one plays more or does it matter?
12:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think it matters.
12:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I think what's important for us to understand is that it is both.
12:37
[SPEAKER_00]: We're creating in God's image, not our image, or our appearance image.
12:41
[SPEAKER_00]: We're creating in God's image and not our parents' image, and He's going to create us the way that He wants us and needs us to be.
12:46
[SPEAKER_00]: So there is that reality where how many brain cells do you have at each of the eight sections of the brain?
12:51
[SPEAKER_00]: And then if you have a parent who aligns with you in that regard and awakens that and plays with you and takes you on events that circulate that those brain cells, if you will, then it's all going to be better.
13:01
[SPEAKER_00]: But this is one of the issues with, you know, I have an adopted niece.
13:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And so she has both the,
13:07
[SPEAKER_00]: nature of God's design from her birth parents, and the nurture of not just her adoptive parents Dave and Deb, but me as an aunt, the grandparents, the siblings that came along after her, you know, et cetera, et cetera, and it's a beautiful thing, and the other thing to understand Cynthia is that interest always drives ability.
13:27
[SPEAKER_00]: interest precedes ability.
13:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So the idea that your husband was athletically inclined had a first born wanted to go out in the backyard and play catch He was interested in that so your daughter because of her love for her dad became interested in that and they bonded there And that's a beautiful thing nothing wrong with that at all of course
13:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I also, and I'm going to get ready to read a quote for everybody.
13:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I think back in my own life too, my mom was a pianist, church pianist, and very, and I am, I am musically inclined.
13:55
[SPEAKER_01]: However, I took piano lessons for 13 years, and we had to do theory.
14:00
[SPEAKER_01]: test.
14:00
[SPEAKER_01]: I never passed a theory test.
14:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Literally you guys never passed a theory test.
14:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Now think about the second.
14:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I passed the bar exam when I went through a law school.
14:09
[SPEAKER_01]: I never passed a theory test.
14:11
[SPEAKER_01]: And I look back on that and I am musically inclined.
14:15
[SPEAKER_01]: But,
14:17
[SPEAKER_01]: It, the, the piano teacher said to my mom one time, you know, I, I think she has learning differences and looking back, it really was just that I don't think that way.
14:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think logically like there.
14:26
[SPEAKER_01]: I think a note like more emotionally and I think so it's just interesting like think through these things and your own life.
14:33
[SPEAKER_01]: in your kids' lives, and thankfully my mom didn't let her speak that over me.
14:37
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't know for years, and I'm so grateful for that because I was really people smart and other smarts.
14:43
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, how important it is that we also kind of guide our words towards our kids and who speaks into our kids that doesn't understand their smarts, right?
14:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, that's so true.
14:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, music smart is an emotional language.
14:58
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's emotional people will often gravitate.
15:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I have a music smart background as well.
15:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And I can relate to what you're saying.
15:05
[SPEAKER_00]: It's also a body smart skill.
15:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Remembering where the sea is on the piano, I'm a former viola player.
15:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So being able to feel where my fingers belong on the strings, if you're a trombone player, to be able to feel how far out to slide the slide.
15:24
[SPEAKER_00]: and they never work alone and there's going to be different things that cause us to like one and and you can be interested in not all that good and you can be really good and not all that interested and it's just fascinating what God chooses to do.
15:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
15:35
[SPEAKER_01]: This is the quote I wanted to read.
15:38
[SPEAKER_01]: It's talking about awakening smarts.
15:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And you said, only about 20% of those connections are hardwired by God.
15:45
[SPEAKER_01]: The account for things we all learn, connections of the other 80% of the brain's neurons are formed by what we do prior to the age 25.
15:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Doing something a few times won't result in a firm connection, but repetitive beliefs, attitudes and actions result in solid connections.
16:01
[SPEAKER_01]: They are considered
16:04
[SPEAKER_01]: God causes during conception, but they become harder than more we use them.
16:08
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm thankful we can still learn new things as we age.
16:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, break that down a little bit.
16:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, thanks for saying all of that.
16:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my goodness, right?
16:18
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, when we're created in our mother's womb,
16:21
[SPEAKER_00]: For instance, language is hard-wired.
16:23
[SPEAKER_00]: All of us are going to learn language.
16:24
[SPEAKER_00]: If your parents are English speakers, you're hard-wired by God to learn English as your first language.
16:29
[SPEAKER_00]: All children, unless there's a stroke in utero, will roll over a creep crawl, walk stand, gallop skip, et cetera.
16:36
[SPEAKER_00]: So we're hard-wired for certain things.
16:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And then the soft-waving comes through interest and through
16:42
[SPEAKER_00]: exposure on field trips your mom and dad take you on the toys that you play with the games that you have the shows that you watch the Conversations that you have if you you know again in my case in your case becoming piano players as as very young kids Would then so then we have that ability, but it's not as it's not as firmly created it can it can maybe dissipate go away
17:02
[SPEAKER_00]: After a lack of use more than other things as an example, so that I have not written a bike in years, I can go right a bike.
17:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Your body remembers things you're hard-wired for that.
17:13
[SPEAKER_00]: So again, what I want to our listeners to understand is that
17:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, if you have a kid who is not doing really well in school and you want that kid to do better in school and the kid wants to do better in school there are brain cells yet to be developed and there are connections in the brain still to develop which is really good if you are music smart and you want kids to be music smart.
17:34
[SPEAKER_00]: because that's a family value, that's an entertainment, that's the thing you want to do together, it's a family where everyone enjoys it.
17:39
[SPEAKER_00]: You can make that happen.
17:40
[SPEAKER_00]: The kid who appears to be disinterested or unable to handle a piano scale can learn those skills with your persistent motivation.
17:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
17:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
17:51
[SPEAKER_01]: And again, everyone's like, tell me what all the smarts are.
17:53
[SPEAKER_01]: We're getting there.
17:55
[SPEAKER_01]: I promise everybody.
17:56
[SPEAKER_01]: But how do I identify my kids smarts?
17:59
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that seems a little self-evident because we start going through them and you'll be like, oh, I get it.
18:04
[SPEAKER_01]: But is there, is there ways that you recommend you have resources in that?
18:09
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a some information in the book about that and we do have an online course available at celebratekids.com where we do unpack that a little bit more.
18:18
[SPEAKER_00]: But the awakening often happens through new activities, new experiences.
18:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I grew up in the large city.
18:24
[SPEAKER_00]: We went to the Italian Fest and the Greek Fest and the German Fest and the Irish Fest.
18:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And the summer fest, you know, so when you have a lot of experiences, you know, it awakens the brain most assuredly.
18:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think we need to remember that if you like poetry and you read a lot of poems, your kids are going to be awakened to poetry.
18:41
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's a beautiful thing that we get to participate in.
18:45
[SPEAKER_00]: So how they're identified really good question.
18:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Believe it or not, one of the main ways we can identify our smarts is what gets us into trouble.
18:52
[SPEAKER_00]: because the things that we, you know, do too much of is not a good thing.
18:56
[SPEAKER_00]: So anything overdone, well done, badly done, if you will.
19:01
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was a chatty Kathy.
19:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Three and a half years old, nickname chatty Kathy, you know, red books, you know, road stories.
19:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, of course, I'm an author and a speaker.
19:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I get paid to talk.
19:09
[SPEAKER_00]: which is amazing as a chatty Kathy as a kid.
19:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, but too much of a good thing isn't a good thing.
19:15
[SPEAKER_00]: So I could gossip and name call in T's and demand attention with the spoken word and impress everybody with all the things that I know.
19:22
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, body smart kids move, touch, rattle and roll.
19:25
[SPEAKER_00]: They turn every chair into a rocking chair.
19:28
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, logic smart kids can either solve problems or create problems for other kids to solve.
19:33
[SPEAKER_00]: So you can look at what drives me nuts about myself, what drives me nuts about another kid,
19:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's almost always going to be a smart now I'm going to say to our audience that I'm here on the show with you today because I was not raised, be quiet, be quiet, be quiet, be quiet, would you just shut up?
19:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I was listened to my parents' shows, which is always the power of the parent.
19:55
[SPEAKER_00]: My parent chose to see all the words in me as a strength to develop, not a problem to eliminate.
20:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why I'm here.
20:02
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you have a kid who's always,
20:05
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, asking and answering questions and you're just tired, 10 a.m. you're tired of all the questions.
20:10
[SPEAKER_00]: You have a logic smart mathematician, scientist, pastor, researcher, lawyer, engineer on your hands.
20:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And you get to endorse those strengths and channel them into good and healthy uses, not that they would use them badly.
20:27
[SPEAKER_00]: What do they talk about?
20:28
[SPEAKER_00]: What do they do in their spare time?
20:30
[SPEAKER_00]: What do they spend their money on?
20:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Where do they earn their A's?
20:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Certainly would be a way to look at that.
20:35
[SPEAKER_00]: But again, it's the best way to see the smarts is what drives you nuts.
20:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's so interesting.
20:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
20:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, and I am also thinking, okay, so let's say this.
20:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure I have, like we talked out a lot of the smarts.
20:53
[SPEAKER_01]: But if I depict my top two, it's word and people.
20:56
[SPEAKER_01]: What are your top smarts?
20:59
[SPEAKER_00]: word logic in people would be my top three.
21:02
[SPEAKER_00]: When I was younger, music, I used to play many, many instruments went to the university.
21:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I went to the march in the band.
21:08
[SPEAKER_00]: But that has declined now as I have less time to do those kinds of things.
21:13
[SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, word logic, people, yeah, definitely.
21:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so we'll start with that.
21:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, those are those are the ones that we have.
21:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's go through them.
21:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And I just took quick notes on each one and you add in what you want.
21:28
[SPEAKER_01]: As we go through these and then let me just tell everyone as we're going through this I'm giving you high level.
21:33
[SPEAKER_01]: There is so much to dig into in each of these and so this is not substitute this book because there's so much good information, but we'll start with word.
21:42
[SPEAKER_01]: and you say their power is language, they think with words and when they're excited they talk a lot and it's one of the school smart, right?
21:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
21:50
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the one that I talk about first, only because it's most important in traditional school.
21:55
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not the most important one in life in my opinion.
21:57
[SPEAKER_00]: But we read right, speak and listen.
22:00
[SPEAKER_00]: We tend to remember what we hear.
22:02
[SPEAKER_00]: We're able to speak clearly.
22:03
[SPEAKER_00]: So school does not threaten us.
22:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Nor does church.
22:05
[SPEAKER_00]: This is also a if you will a Sunday school, smart, really, really important.
22:09
[SPEAKER_00]: But I bet you all know people who did well in school and they're not doing well in life.
22:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, there's who did not do well in school and are doing very well in life.
22:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And
22:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, and so what I was thinking about with this word smart two and people smart like you talk a little bit about careers what might come from that and I was thinking out the fact that I'm word smart and people smart and both of those could lead to like could be a lawyer like you good with words or whatever and I was a horrible lawyer Kathy dark Kathy nothing nice like not good.
22:43
[SPEAKER_01]: And I look back on that, and even the nuances within what your smarts are.
22:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I've written a couple of books now, obviously.
22:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I podcast, I also speak and people actually pay money for it, shocking to all of us.
22:55
[SPEAKER_01]: But I was word and people smart, but it didn't translate well in a legal sense, which I didn't know going into it.
23:03
[SPEAKER_01]: I now know one thing I would encourage people in with your kids, but even as adults, if it's really hard for you,
23:11
[SPEAKER_01]: And like I watched my husband who is an attorney, it's very easy for him and he's very good at it.
23:16
[SPEAKER_01]: It was very hard for me.
23:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Like God didn't gift me exactly in that way.
23:20
[SPEAKER_01]: And once I moved into what God gifted me to do, it became much easier, more natural, more enjoyable.
23:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And so just thoughts around that that even though you could fit within a certain box, the Lord intended and planned for you different things.
23:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, that's so true.
23:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And he wants us to be not just successful, but faithful and content.
23:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's more than the smarts.
23:41
[SPEAKER_00]: The smarts are super helpful as we identify the pathway, but there's also many other things that make us eyes.
23:46
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I think large X-Mart would be essential for being a lawyer, especially if you were a trial lawyer.
23:51
[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe that wasn't one of your giftings and there's all kinds of things that would be a factor there.
23:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
23:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's funny, because yeah, my husband is very, very, very large X-Mart and he's a trial lawyer.
24:02
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm very word and people smart and I was a trial lawyer but not good.
24:06
[SPEAKER_01]: So let's talk, give us a couple ideas and I wrote them down for all the rest of them.
24:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why I didn't for word, but people that are word smart, great occupations for them.
24:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, teachers, certainly because we have to read right speak on this end, I would say lawyer.
24:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I would say pastor, counselors who get to listen closely, draw conclusions, and then speak the truth out.
24:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So anything that would involve the spoken and written word possibly being an author, certainly.
24:35
[SPEAKER_00]: as you and I are, there's other skills that are involved with that as well.
24:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would also say, excellent husbands, wives, moms, and dads, because this is, word smart, is essential for relationships.
24:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
24:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, the second one is logic.
24:50
[SPEAKER_01]: We kind of reference that.
24:52
[SPEAKER_01]: You said they think with questions.
24:55
[SPEAKER_01]: And when they get excited, they ask more questions.
24:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's another one that you characterized as a school smart one.
25:02
[SPEAKER_01]: So talk to us a little bit about that.
25:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Reg, because what do we do again in school?
25:05
[SPEAKER_00]: We ask and answer questions all day long.
25:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And those of us who are large, smart, we tend to enjoy math, because it is logical to pursue as I was for, and science, because large, smart kids love to discover truth.
25:16
[SPEAKER_00]: They love to figure things out off of it on their own, which science experiments allows them to do.
25:22
[SPEAKER_00]: One of the things that can be challenging for large, smart is that they want everything to make sense.
25:26
[SPEAKER_00]: And they want everyone to be fair.
25:28
[SPEAKER_00]: They have a high need for justice.
25:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And so they're the kid, you know, you let her sharpen her pencil.
25:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Why can't I sharpen mine?
25:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Or, you know, you're letting my brother stay up.
25:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Why can't I stay up?
25:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And they can be really critical and difficult in that regard.
25:42
[SPEAKER_00]: They think with questions, they will need you to provide reasons for the things that you're doing so that they could understand you and then they can trust you.
25:50
[SPEAKER_01]: And it could be so tempting to be like, because I said so, that's the reason.
25:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
25:56
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, first is really honing in on the fact that, no, like, this is one of their giftings.
26:02
[SPEAKER_01]: And so we're going to treat that differently.
26:04
[SPEAKER_01]: It isn't defiance.
26:05
[SPEAKER_01]: It's how they learn and it's their smarts.
26:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
26:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And I love that you said that because I think it's true that much misbehavior can be connected to a smart and we don't want to paralyze it out of them.
26:17
[SPEAKER_00]: The smart is a the brain is a muscle like all the other muscles.
26:20
[SPEAKER_00]: So again, if I would have been raised, be quiet, be quiet, be quiet, be quiet, be quiet.
26:24
[SPEAKER_00]: the words smart part of my brain might have been paralyzed and I wouldn't have developed into the person God intended for me to be.
26:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So logic smart children, if we don't listen to the questions, if we don't answer the questions, if we don't find the energy, you know, maybe it's every Friday night we choose three questions from the question box and we look them up together and learn together and answer them.
26:43
[SPEAKER_00]: If we don't show them that their curiosity is a good thing, they could choose to stop and that would be a tragedy.
26:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, my youngest is obsessed with weather and like talks about tornadoes and all the things.
26:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And I live in Dallas and so you know, we have some tornadoes and I beat all the time and I tend to shut them down and be like, I don't know because it's September.
27:03
[SPEAKER_01]: There's not gonna be a tornado and you look it up.
27:06
[SPEAKER_01]: You look it, you know, all those things and it's just that reframing around that like, okay, he's asking questions.
27:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Like let's cultivate that logic side of it instead of being annoyed with.
27:16
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a great word.
27:17
[SPEAKER_01]: OK, picture smart children think with pictures.
27:20
[SPEAKER_01]: When they're excited, they add to their pictures, then they need freedom to doodle draw and their creativity respected.
27:27
[SPEAKER_01]: They get joy from being lost in the process of creating, visualizing and observing are their powers.
27:34
[SPEAKER_01]: OK.
27:35
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's good for these artists.
27:37
[SPEAKER_01]: What do they look like in real life?
27:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
27:40
[SPEAKER_00]: They could be artists.
27:41
[SPEAKER_00]: They have a vivid imagination.
27:43
[SPEAKER_00]: So they can get lost in their, their, the movie and their minds.
27:47
[SPEAKER_00]: So it might look like they're listening to you, but they're not because they're on a buddy trail up there, you know, going out.
27:52
[SPEAKER_00]: You said something that caused them to draw a picture in their head and other gone.
27:56
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, they can be artists.
27:57
[SPEAKER_00]: They can be sculptors.
27:59
[SPEAKER_00]: They might be creative writers because they're good at adjectives and vivid verbs.
28:02
[SPEAKER_00]: They also tend to like history and fiction because they see it as they read it or as they listen to your read a story to them, they're watching it in their head, which is so cool.
28:12
[SPEAKER_01]: That's so great.
28:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
28:14
[SPEAKER_01]: The next one is music.
28:16
[SPEAKER_01]: And this is interesting because I like we talked about, you know, I took a lot of piano and all those things, but not all the skills.
28:24
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not just music that makes a musician.
28:26
[SPEAKER_01]: I would say, right, it takes maybe some logic in it.
28:30
[SPEAKER_01]: It takes some, I don't know, you can tell me more than that.
28:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I would think that also your bodies involved.
28:35
[SPEAKER_01]: So what is music you said this?
28:37
[SPEAKER_01]: So it says music, smart children, think with rhythms and melodies.
28:40
[SPEAKER_01]: When they're excited, they make music.
28:42
[SPEAKER_01]: They need to be able to express themselves musically.
28:45
[SPEAKER_01]: They get joy being lost in music and accomplishing or exceeding their goal.
28:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's so true.
28:51
[SPEAKER_00]: They make music when they're excited.
28:53
[SPEAKER_00]: So these are the kids who hum and they
28:55
[SPEAKER_00]: We're still in the totap and they be Bob and they, you know, roll their fingers on their desk and drive everybody else in the room, not they click their pen and make a symphony to the pen, which is why some parents have banned clicking pens from their home, it's like a mental health crisis, they will never, you know, they could they could be 99 years old and about to die.
29:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And they will remember how to spell Mississippi and my SSISS IPPI music is best for launcher memory and so we can use that all of us are this even if you have kids who don't have music in the top four if there's something to memorize something have them activate the music smart part of their brain because if we can learn something with more than one smart we're going to learn it better retain it longer apply it better
29:36
[SPEAKER_00]: and be more successful, therefore more content, more satisfied, feeling better about ourselves and all the things.
29:41
[SPEAKER_00]: We can enjoy music and be good at music or just enjoy it and not be all that good at it, but that still means that the smart is there.
29:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, one at my middle when clicks a pen in church.
29:53
[SPEAKER_01]: You just said that, and he's gone to college, but when he's home into somewhere, I'm like, I don't want to be on Christian, but I might take you down if he puts that in again, right?
30:01
[SPEAKER_01]: But he is very musical, and I do remember when he was young, if he couldn't memorize something, I would turn it into a tune.
30:09
[SPEAKER_01]: And I would be like, I'd make it a song.
30:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And we would like, you know, how much together are singing together, like that information he could remember.
30:16
[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, just those little tricks
30:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, body smart, this one is interesting to me.
30:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, you say that body thinks with movement and touch.
30:28
[SPEAKER_01]: They're excited to move.
30:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Their hands are busy talking, building, writing, touching, twisting hair, playing.
30:34
[SPEAKER_01]: They're good at hiking, sports, dancing, and acting.
30:36
[SPEAKER_01]: And I love this.
30:37
[SPEAKER_01]: You said many ADHD kids may be body smart.
30:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Talk to us a little bit off that.
30:43
[SPEAKER_01]: I've definitely got one of those.
30:44
[SPEAKER_01]: It's always moving.
30:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
30:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And let me say respectfully that ADHD and ADD, those are real things.
30:51
[SPEAKER_00]: If there's been the proper pediatrician assessment, I don't have a problem with, you know, the label, I don't like labels if they don't change treatment, but I don't even have a problem with medication if it's warranted as long as we critique and observe carefully and make sure that.
31:06
[SPEAKER_00]: We're getting the proper dosage and all of that.
31:08
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think what we're often doing, Cynthia, is dragging out of children the greatest channel God has given them through which they can embrace life, which would be to touch and to feel and to move and to experience physically the reality that they're called into.
31:22
[SPEAKER_00]: So we've got to be really careful here.
31:24
[SPEAKER_00]: And if a child is ADHD and body smart, they're really going to need to move.
31:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And we need to say to them, this does not make you bad.
31:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I say to teachers all the time, what is your attitude toward these children?
31:35
[SPEAKER_00]: because they're the ones told all day, sit down, sit down, would you just sit still look at me and they can feel so bad about themselves.
31:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I've had some of these kids after my school of assemblies say to me, you're the first person that ever told me I was smart because I moved while, you know, it's always got me in trouble.
31:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is why, and I talk about this in the book, you have to have self-respect.
31:55
[SPEAKER_00]: so that you want to be well and do well, self-control so that you can be well and do well and respect for others because we have these qualities so that we can, we have these qualities so that we can bless the community that we live in.
32:10
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't have these qualities just because of us.
32:13
[SPEAKER_00]: This is all about the community and all about the way that we live life together.
32:17
[SPEAKER_00]: These kids, they can might be athletic, they might be in the drama, they can make their whole body look angry.
32:22
[SPEAKER_00]: They might be great clay sculptors.
32:24
[SPEAKER_00]: They might be physicians.
32:25
[SPEAKER_00]: They might be the lawyer who is word smart and logic smart and body smart and can pace correctly in front of the jury pool.
32:34
[SPEAKER_00]: With exactly the right pace with the eye contact with the cock of the head and the jury is like, whoa, I believe that everything he's saying is legit.
32:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, wow, wow, wow.
32:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, nature.
32:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And this one, I mean, I got nothing in me for, I didn't, I know, you have, maybe nobody developed it in me, I don't know.
32:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I got no nature smart.
32:54
[SPEAKER_01]: This is the one I read, I'm like, they think with patterns.
32:57
[SPEAKER_01]: And when they're excited, they go outside.
32:59
[SPEAKER_01]: They get joy from personally participating with nature somehow.
33:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And you said it could look like maybe as jobs like floor shops, tree search, and forest or park ranger.
33:09
[SPEAKER_01]: A vet landscape designer, a nature photographer, missionary.
33:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Talk to us about our nature smarts.
33:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I love this.
33:17
[SPEAKER_00]: They think with patterns.
33:18
[SPEAKER_00]: That's how they know it's a blue jay, not a blue bird.
33:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Because they remember where the blue goes on the body of the bird.
33:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't remember it.
33:25
[SPEAKER_00]: They can tell a frog from a toad and an alligator from a crocodile and a scotch pine from a white pine.
33:30
[SPEAKER_00]: They have an ability to retain, remember, and use patterns.
33:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we can take any of these smarts and apply them and other things and find success.
33:42
[SPEAKER_00]: These kids love to be outside, they love to get dirty.
33:45
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what, they'll do better in biology than they will in earth, they'll do better in biology and earth science than in chemistry and physics.
33:53
[SPEAKER_00]: because that's the way that the brain works and it's a beautiful quality.
33:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and for me, you know, I was raised in a big city.
34:00
[SPEAKER_00]: So what Dr. Gardner, the researcher behind this whole model, he says that if you raise in a city, your nature smart ability might show up with a Chevrolet and an old automobile.
34:11
[SPEAKER_00]: or a Nike and a Reebok from a distance.
34:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you raise in more of a real setting, then it does show up with Blubberds and Blue Jays.
34:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And for me, my dad was an engineer.
34:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I played with graph paper in T-squares and compasses and projectors as a kid.
34:24
[SPEAKER_00]: So for me, the nature smart shows up in charts and maps and the shadows and the lighting and IP attention, even in an airport, to the tile and to the carpet and to the design and the ceiling, that makes us feel like we're moving faster,
34:41
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean you're looking at the tiles and ceiling.
34:42
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm looking at all the people and how can I talk to them and get to know them.
34:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And if I add that to my book and we write it, so it's just so funny we're all looking collectively at the world from different lenses and how incredible in God-given that is.
34:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I'm gonna skip people's smart, we'll do it last.
34:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Self-smart, they think with reflection deeply inside of themselves and relate learning to their lives.
35:04
[SPEAKER_01]: When they're excited, they wanna spend time by themselves thinking more.
35:07
[SPEAKER_01]: They need quiet, peace, privacy, and space.
35:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Jobs, it could be like entrepreneurs, personal trainer, therapists, teachers,
35:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, this one's so interesting to me too, because it's very my husband, like, you know, it just needs a little more.
35:20
[SPEAKER_01]: We might just say introverted, but really he needs more time to self-to-think or whatever, and I'm the opposite.
35:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I just give me more people, give me more excitement and adventure, and I love this deep reflection that that God gives these self-smart people.
35:33
[SPEAKER_01]: So walk us through that a little bit.
35:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think what's really important is that they need quiet and peace privacy and space as you read from my book.
35:41
[SPEAKER_00]: These are the people they feel slow.
35:44
[SPEAKER_00]: These are the ones in my program.
35:46
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was felt that I was slow or
35:49
[SPEAKER_00]: not smart because it took me so long to jog conclusion or make up my mind about something, but they're not slower stupid, they're deep thinkers.
35:57
[SPEAKER_00]: They want the answer to feel right and sometimes that takes a real effort on their part.
36:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And because we live in a crowded situation, the classrooms are crowded, the bedroom is crowded, the house is loud, it can be stressful for these kids.
36:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And we need to honor that and let them know that they can ask for the space so that they can be successful.
36:15
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's different from being introverted.
36:19
[SPEAKER_00]: which means that I get my energy when I'm alone, but I'm people smart, I'm not self smart.
36:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Self smart people think alone, well I am, because we have all four, we have all eight.
36:29
[SPEAKER_00]: But you are a people smart person, you can also be introverted, which means that you get your energy when you're alone, but you think with other people, it's very interesting, why does God do that?
36:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Because He creates us in His image and He is completely everything.
36:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Elfano made it, everything in between.
36:46
[SPEAKER_00]: So we have all the ability we need in ourselves through God in Christ to do what it is that we've been called to do, which is really powerful.
36:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Self-small, let me just say one more thing about self-small people.
36:57
[SPEAKER_00]: They often weep with me.
36:58
[SPEAKER_00]: They, in fact, I was just at a school in Lancashire County.
37:01
[SPEAKER_00]: There was a dad there who I found out from his wife has never felt smart, felt that he was jipped that his brothers were the smart ones.
37:10
[SPEAKER_00]: He was not
37:12
[SPEAKER_00]: a confident learner, maybe underperformed academically, and he was in the room because of his children, and he figured out that night, no, I'm smart too.
37:22
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a game changer, he's very self smart.
37:24
[SPEAKER_00]: He likes being alone, he likes separating out, he has a hard time having long conversations, his wife's all excited after the sermon, and he just wants to go and reflect at the workbench.
37:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's been made to feel badly about that.
37:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, okay last one is people smart and I saved it to last because before we started taping you told me something about people smart that you now teach what's that I think it's the most important smart and and here's why people smart people can read by the language appropriately and respond appropriately so children who are people smart can look at you and tell if you're
38:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Matt or sad, if it's a good time to approach you or not, this is how they know who's safe for them.
38:08
[SPEAKER_00]: So they walk into a new children's church.
38:10
[SPEAKER_00]: They walk into a new youth group.
38:11
[SPEAKER_00]: They have a new babysitter.
38:13
[SPEAKER_00]: They walk into a new academic year and they're trying to figure out all the people.
38:16
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're people smart, you can read the room and you can see the body language and you can respond and you can recognize, oh, my mom's not mad at me.
38:23
[SPEAKER_00]: She's just having a kind of hard day.
38:25
[SPEAKER_00]: So important, because they know who's safe for them.
38:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Another reason that I say it's the most important one
38:33
[SPEAKER_00]: we network and we cooperate and we think together, we do the group thing.
38:37
[SPEAKER_00]: So you and I, why do you and I love podcasting?
38:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Because we're thinking, you know, you love this and I love this, not just because we're talking, which is words smart, but because we're drawing conclusions and helping each other think through things because we're people smart, and I don't know about you, Cynthia, but I think we need more people who are people smart, who can collaborate, network, collaborate, cooperate, and persuade without arguing.
39:00
[SPEAKER_00]: would that be powerful and this is people smart.
39:03
[SPEAKER_00]: The other reason that I'm saying I'm going on the record even today and thank you for letting me do this to say it's most important.
39:10
[SPEAKER_00]: It's been a waken later.
39:11
[SPEAKER_00]: You know you heard me say earlier that the earlier the the smarts are a waken the greater the likelihood there'll be a strength for a lifetime but if you think back to the pandemic sadly we were isolated we were masked and this smart was a waken later so the children who are
39:30
[SPEAKER_00]: may have some deficits here, may not feel like that's necessary or that they're good at it, and we can intervene, and we can give them opportunities to be in groups, we can teach them how to read by the language, and we can teach them how to collaborate, how to network.
39:45
[SPEAKER_00]: People smart people don't know how good their idea is until they hear themselves say it, and then they watch the reactions, beautiful when that happens.
39:54
[SPEAKER_01]: mm-hmm and so yeah people people people people think with people when they're excited they talk to more people They need people to listen interact with them react to their ideas
40:04
[SPEAKER_01]: often they look like administrators, pastors, lawyers, social workers, receptionist, travel agents, nurses, police officers, missionaries, so.
40:13
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, that is so much information.
40:16
[SPEAKER_01]: And we are out of time because I want to keep you on schedule, but I have to ask one more question that I think, maybe it's like we laughed out earlier, maybe it's personal counseling, but I also think it's really,
40:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, such a good part of this book, there's, there's language that we need to put around smart.
40:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe in our own lives, our narratives, um, and the people around us, but uh, with our kids too.
40:38
[SPEAKER_01]: And I like that you, you had this example in the book.
40:41
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're, your child may come in and say, well, you know, I, I, I, I, I bomb the spelling test.
40:45
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm stupid because I can't spell.
40:48
[SPEAKER_01]: And but but you can rephrase that into yeah but spelling I'm sure it was hard because your logic smart and not necessarily, you know, is strong and picture smart and I just thought, well, that's really important that's something I think I probably need to hear after I failed every theory test or maybe even in my lawyer days like I bet that is hard for you because it's not tapping into the smart that you're strongest in.
41:12
[SPEAKER_01]: So, just give us a, if you will, either some language around that that you suggest or just the importance of recognizing and acknowledging it in our own lives and with our kids.
41:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, well stated, absolutely right.
41:26
[SPEAKER_00]: My example would be spelling.
41:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not a terribly good spelling.
41:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And I have an earned PhD.
41:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I've written, you know, 10 books, nine are out, number 10 will be out soon.
41:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And why would I do that in spelling as a challenge because God wins?
41:42
[SPEAKER_00]: You gotta tell your kids, you don't let your weaknesses win, you lead with your strengths.
41:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And so in my case, spelling doesn't come naturally to me because I'm logic smart.
41:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I want the rules to work.
41:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I actually touch second graders for four years, the rules that don't work.
41:54
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, there's an E at the end of the word, it makes the first fall long.
41:56
[SPEAKER_00]: That doesn't always happen.
41:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not very pictures smart.
41:59
[SPEAKER_00]: It's number seven or eight for me.
42:01
[SPEAKER_00]: So I don't remember what the word looked like the last time I saw it.
42:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Was it a double period, double S?
42:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And if I wrote the rule book, there it all was be the same, right?
42:09
[SPEAKER_00]: But here's the thing, Cynthia.
42:11
[SPEAKER_00]: I do not say I cannot spell.
42:14
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a lie.
42:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And I won't say spelling this hard.
42:17
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a lie.
42:18
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of words that are easy.
42:19
[SPEAKER_00]: But what I will say, what I will own, is spelling does not come naturally to me.
42:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't let your kids lie.
42:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And if kids are complaining, I tell kids all the time, complaining doesn't do anything, but change a good attitude to bad.
42:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Complaining doesn't change anything, except a good attitude to bad.
42:35
[SPEAKER_00]: So are you asking for help?
42:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Cause I can help you if you're asking for help.
42:40
[SPEAKER_00]: If something's hard, you wanted to be easier here are some suggestions.
42:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is where the smarts come along side of the other smarts and you can be successful.
42:49
[SPEAKER_00]: But when kids like it all, I'm so stupid, that's a lie, God doesn't make stupid people.
42:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I tell kids stupid as your choice and it's always character you didn't prove free because you were lazy you rushed because your brother was gaming and you wanted to go game.
43:04
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you're chosen not be curious even though your mom dad or teacher has said that this is valuable, like it's it's attitude and character That we have got to get a handle on and we've got to say to our kids that you know something is worth doing even if it's hard.
43:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And let me say something else Cynthia and that is the role of technology.
43:20
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, technology has caused our children to think that everything should be easy automatic about them easy to win the exotic games that might lose, you know, and so no, no, the world doesn't work like the device in your pocket.
43:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And when things are difficult, it doesn't mean you're stupid.
43:35
[SPEAKER_00]: It means that it's new.
43:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I tell kids all the time.
43:39
[SPEAKER_00]: They're supposed to be new things at school.
43:41
[SPEAKER_00]: If a kid comes home, if your child comes home, man, it was so hard.
43:44
[SPEAKER_00]: That's really good.
43:45
[SPEAKER_00]: No, mommy, it was hard.
43:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, no, that's really good because we're sending you to school to learn what you don't yet.
43:52
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
43:54
[SPEAKER_00]: So don't be afraid when it's hard.
43:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I would love for you to get excited that you're learning something new because the more that you're having your heart in your head, the better off you're going to be.
44:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know that sounds simple here on the podcast, but that's the foundational belief system that I think changes people.
44:12
[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay when things are hard, it means that you're learning.
44:15
[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay when you're not happy, happiness,
44:18
[SPEAKER_00]: isn't the end goal even though technology has taught you that it is and we just have to stand up against that if that makes sense.
44:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
44:25
[SPEAKER_01]: And the best thing I heard you say, I mean, and this is saying a lot because there was brilliance all through here with God wins.
44:33
[SPEAKER_01]: And I mean, yeah, thank you.
44:34
[SPEAKER_01]: At the end of the night, God wins.
44:35
[SPEAKER_01]: And so yeah.
44:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, this is an incredible book.
44:38
[SPEAKER_01]: And again, this is some new book out.
44:40
[SPEAKER_01]: This is just new to Cynthia.
44:42
[SPEAKER_01]: And so Dr. Kathy, tell Brittany your podcast name and how to find you and and and promise this shall come back when the new book comes out, whatever that's on.
44:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, the new book will be out in April of next year.
44:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd love to come back.
44:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll come back before then if you want.
44:55
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, you're good at what you do.
44:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I appreciate being here.
44:59
[SPEAKER_00]: So our website is celebratekids.com.
45:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And our podcast channel is Celebrate Kids with Dr. Kathy.
45:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And we podcast five times a week about 15 to 18 minutes each episode.
45:11
[SPEAKER_00]: We have online courses on our website.
45:13
[SPEAKER_00]: We're on Facebook and Instagram at Celebrate Kids Inc.
45:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would be honored if your people would start to follow me as well.
45:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Appreciate you.
45:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
45:21
[SPEAKER_01]: We will do that.
45:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, thank you for being here.
45:24
[SPEAKER_01]: I know this will, this is going to, I believe, differential will change how people look at things with their kids, and their own lives with their spouses.
45:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, just thanks for being here.
45:32
[SPEAKER_01]: And you have an open invitation.
45:34
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you're podcasting five times a week, heck, just, you know, every other jump on mine.
45:38
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, we get a lot of learn from you, Dr. Kathy.
45:40
[SPEAKER_01]: So, thank you so much.
45:44
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, you cannot tell me that she didn't spend a lot of time during that thinking like, oh, I didn't realize that I am self-smart or I am people smart and oh, no wonder this didn't make sense in my own life for my kids, right?
45:56
[SPEAKER_01]: It is so enlightening and so I'm excited for you to maybe tell stories to meet to others DM me with stories of things that came to mind or reach out to my website.
46:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And again, be sure and share this with your friends.
46:07
[SPEAKER_01]: You can grab the book, it's not a new book, it's available wherever you get books.
46:10
[SPEAKER_01]: My Dr. Kathy Cook, a great smart.
46:13
[SPEAKER_01]: And then once again, I want to remind you that in 2027, I would love to speak to your group.
46:18
[SPEAKER_01]: So reach out through something again off.com.
46:20
[SPEAKER_01]: It's also linked in the podcast notes.
46:22
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, you guys.
46:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Thanks for being a part of the mesmerized family.
46:24
[SPEAKER_01]: You're the very best.