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4-18-25 basic blaque podcast LIVE EVERY 1ST & 3RD FRIDAY · DA CREW Podcast

• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Legs and gentlemen, lay I have your attention.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: Please.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: The show starts in ten nine eight, seven, six, five
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  Speaker 1: four three two Money Go.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: Podcast to show that meets you where you are and
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: give you what you ask More. Tonight, we're going deep.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: But it isn't just a deception. It's about survival, trauma, identity,
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: and the dangerous truths we hide even from ourselves. But
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: now it's time to do the actual world that's right
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: alongside that groundbreaking psychological thriller. We're introducing the Habitual Liar
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: Workbook and it's a series. It's called Cracks in the Surface,
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: Strengths in the Cool, not Easily Broken, and it's designed
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: to help you process your pain, explore the moments that
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: shape you, and reclaim the power of your own story.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: So here's what's coming. There are three workbooks from Shattered
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: to Shift, a guided journey to healing and purpose our
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  Speaker 3: own Shift Trauma to triumph and purpose driven power and
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  Speaker 3: shift it into power. So grab your workbook, grab your truth,
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: and get ready. This isn't just another episode. This is
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  Speaker 3: your invitation to break the habit and start healing. So
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  Speaker 3: let's get to it. But before we dive in, I'm
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  Speaker 3: honored to bring in the voices who will help guide
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  Speaker 3: this journey. Joining me on this powerful panel are individuals
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  Speaker 3: who will be walking this healing path with courage, authenticity,
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  Speaker 3: and purpose. So you guys would introduce yourself. I am
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  Speaker 3: so grateful to have you here. We can start with faring.
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  Speaker 4: Hello, everybody. I am author Faaron maclamore. Thank you so
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: much for having me Black Diamond. It's been such a
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  Speaker 4: pleasure getting to know you and to be a part
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  Speaker 4: of this is such so rewarding for me. So I
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  Speaker 4: am a twenty twenty five Distinguished Authors Guild Ambassador, twenty
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  Speaker 4: twenty four Distinguished Authors Guild Award Recipient nominee. I'm a
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  Speaker 4: community community advocate. I'm a motivational speaker. Through my book
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  Speaker 4: and my brand, I champion for people with disabilities. I
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  Speaker 4: inspire self love and I love to encourage others to
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  Speaker 4: embrace their differences and love who they see in the mirror.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you so much. I appreciate you introducing yourself.
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  Speaker 5: Next, Shana, Hey, everybody, I am the author of the
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  Speaker 5: book The Prettiest Woman. I am also a Distinguished Authors
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  Speaker 5: Build Ambassador. Thank you Black Doming for having me. Thank
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  Speaker 5: you Doctors Carolyn for for getting me all together, just
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  Speaker 5: being out here to be able to promote myself. And
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  Speaker 5: I'm also at DISTINGUS Office Guild twenty twenty four Award winner,
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  Speaker 5: So I'm just excited to be here, excited to be
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  Speaker 5: connected with all these beautiful authors and ready to get started.
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  Speaker 3: So thank you for having me. Thank you, Okay, Tony
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  Speaker 3: you up?
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  Speaker 2: Yes, Hello everyone. I am author Tony Bunyan. I am
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  Speaker 2: the author of Breaking Cycle of the Power of My Testimony. Also,
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  Speaker 2: I am the founder and owner of a Breaking Cycle LC.
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  Speaker 3: Which I go ahead and speak to the.
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  Speaker 2: Youth, and I inspired them with my story with my testimony,
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  Speaker 2: but also inspired them and encouraged them to build their
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  Speaker 2: own relationship with God because that's the only reason why
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  Speaker 2: I made it this far, through His great and mercy.
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  Speaker 2: I'm so thrilled to field artist panel tonight, looking forward
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  Speaker 2: to a great conversation. And i am also Ambachador twenty
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  Speaker 2: twenty five Ambassador, and i am also a twenty twenty
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  Speaker 2: award from America the Guild. Thank you, thank you miss Gina.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: I know she probably watching it, and thank you miss
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: Gina and the team. And most recently, I'm International Award
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  Speaker 2: receipt again as well. So I'm looking fortune receiving her
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: award this this summer couple coming up in June.
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  Speaker 6: So again I'm.
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  Speaker 2: I'm thrilled to be a party's plan and I can't
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  Speaker 2: wait till we jump right into it.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you again, Thank you. Okay, we have author Nicole
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  Speaker 3: and introduce you out. Okay, we can come up with
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  Speaker 3: miss Bobby Struttan. Hi, good evening, every intro, Hi, everybody.
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  Speaker 7: I'm Bobby Stretching, a first time author and also a
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  Speaker 7: twenty twenty four DAG Award winner. I am just honored
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  Speaker 7: to be among such literary giants. I know a lot
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  Speaker 7: of people on the screen tonight have just made such
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  Speaker 7: an impact in my life.
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  Speaker 3: I'm honored to be here.
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  Speaker 7: I'm also getting ready to do my second book and
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  Speaker 7: it's entitled A Testimony That Started a Fire. Stay tuned,
• 6:07
  Speaker 7: keep your eyes on me. There's some good things coming up.
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  Speaker 7: I'm also the CEO of my own nonprofit Just for
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  Speaker 7: Me Wellness. You discuss a lot of health issues. Thank
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  Speaker 7: you for having me.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you. We have leadership coach and author Rachel. Rachel,
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: you want to introduce yourself. We have a little difficulty,
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  Speaker 3: mister B. Howid what you introduce yourself?
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  Speaker 1: Please?
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  Speaker 8: Hello, Thank you First of all, first and foremost, I'd
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  Speaker 8: like to thank my newly appointed friend, Misses Black Diamond
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  Speaker 8: for having me as a part of this panel. I
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  Speaker 8: am deeply honored. But my name is Billy B. G.
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  Speaker 8: Howard and I am a two times that Distinguished Authors
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  Speaker 8: Guilded Award recipient for twenty twenty three and twenty twenty
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  Speaker 8: four in the Fiction fiction category. We've had some experiences,
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  Speaker 8: as you say, and I enjoy the association with Miss
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  Speaker 8: Black Diamond, and I'm looking forward to this platform. And
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  Speaker 8: she's unveiling something, something a new in the effort to
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  Speaker 8: try and help overcome their struggles.
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  Speaker 3: Well we didn't get a chance.
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  Speaker 6: With us.
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  Speaker 3: Is both clinical and spiritual insight. I want to introduce
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  Speaker 3: someone whose present speaks to both the science of healing
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  Speaker 3: and soul of it. Doctor Carolyn Stephans is not only
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  Speaker 3: mental health therapist, she is a truth teller. Doctor Stephans,
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  Speaker 3: thank you for walking with us tonight. The mic is yours.
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  Speaker 9: All right, Well, I'm going to just jump in here
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  Speaker 9: and introduce myself. I am doctor Carolyn Stevens, and thank
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  Speaker 9: you so much Black Dinand for allowing me to be here.
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  Speaker 9: I'm so honored to be amongst my colleagues here on
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  Speaker 9: tonight again. I am a mental health therapist serving the Atlanta,
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  Speaker 9: Georgia area. I'm also a certified Family Support Specialist. I'm
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  Speaker 9: a licensed Christian therapist. Along with that too, am an author,
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  Speaker 9: and I am a publishing consultant. I am a twenty
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  Speaker 9: twenty two and twenty twenty four Distinguished Authors Guild Award recipient,
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  Speaker 9: and so I am super super honored to be here
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  Speaker 9: on tonight with Black Diamond.
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  Speaker 3: It was a pleasure.
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  Speaker 9: It has been a pleasure, and I'm still just basking
• 9:24
  Speaker 9: in the journey of working with her with unfolding this platform.
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  Speaker 9: And I want to say good evening to all those who.
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  Speaker 3: Would come on.
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  Speaker 9: I would advise you to go and grab a friend
• 9:37
  Speaker 9: and tell them that you need to be on this
• 9:39
  Speaker 9: broadcast on tonight because I believe that over the time
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  Speaker 9: that we are going to be here, this is going
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  Speaker 9: to be an extraordinary journey of healing.
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  Speaker 3: For all of us. Thank you, Thank you all so
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: much for being here. When I asked them, these individuals
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  Speaker 3: to be a part of it, no one hesitating, And
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: I thank you so much for that. So right now,
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: I want you to take a breath and get still,
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: because this journey isn't just about it's about leaning. In
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  Speaker 3: this work book, cracks and the surface strength and the
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  Speaker 3: core not easily broken. Isn't just a companion to the
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  Speaker 3: haividual liar. It's a mirror, a moment, a movement, and
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: the first activity that we started with this panel is
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: referring to the steps that they outlined on page thirteen
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  Speaker 3: of this book. What are those steps? Did you find
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  Speaker 3: most important or health on your journey towards healing? Now,
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  Speaker 3: these are the steps that you wrote for yourself. Which
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  Speaker 3: one of your steps anyone can answer any time? Could
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  Speaker 3: you find most helpful your journey towards healing?
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  Speaker 6: Go ahead?
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  Speaker 8: I'm sorry, no, no, I was just gonna say for me,
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  Speaker 8: it was the actual start, because in order to get anywhere,
• 11:06
  Speaker 8: you have to start from somewhere, even if you don't
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  Speaker 8: know who you are, it's a matter of identifying that person,
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  Speaker 8: that that individual you see in the mirror.
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  Speaker 3: That to me is the most significant portion.
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  Speaker 8: It's like when you go to an alcoholics anonymous meeting,
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  Speaker 8: you first have to acknowledge admit that you are an alcoholic,
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  Speaker 8: and you need help. So my my my first my
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  Speaker 8: first my first step was the start, the first step.
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  Speaker 3: Most of the time people say that the first step
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  Speaker 3: is always the hardest step. Oh yes, how about you
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  Speaker 3: saying that, what was your first step? I'm sorry, Tony,
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  Speaker 3: what was your first step?
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  Speaker 2: I was gonna say, I agree, But for me, what
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  Speaker 2: kind of helped me the healing process? We're talking about
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  Speaker 2: it not holding it in and you know, being able
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  Speaker 2: to express my.
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  Speaker 6: Feelings and not being able to not out holding in
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  Speaker 6: as a man.
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  Speaker 2: You know, that's something I've been working on because you know,
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  Speaker 2: when we hold things in, it comes out at some
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  Speaker 2: point in the time, sometimes at the wrong time. So
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  Speaker 2: I believe in by me expressing myself, being transparent with
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  Speaker 2: my friends, with my community, it helped me with the
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  Speaker 2: healing process. So being you know, just being transparent, being real,
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  Speaker 2: most people can relate with the real and God they
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  Speaker 2: allow me to go through what I went through, just
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  Speaker 2: me to keep it all in my testimony can bless
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  Speaker 2: somebody else and maybe even preventing them from going through
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  Speaker 2: what I had the experience.
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  Speaker 6: So I would say, talking about it, I'm.
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  Speaker 3: Glad that you said that because you have well, history
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  Speaker 3: has had it. Said that men won't share, but I've
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  Speaker 3: been coming across men who have been sharing their testimonies
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  Speaker 3: and as well as sharing their truths. So I appreciate
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  Speaker 3: you both for being on this panel and for sharing
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  Speaker 3: and being so transparent with it as well. How about
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  Speaker 3: how about you? What was your first steps?
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  Speaker 6: Like?
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  Speaker 10: You know what?
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  Speaker 4: I would have to kind of piggyback off of BG
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  Speaker 4: and author Tony And the biggest thing for me is
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  Speaker 4: the start. I think I find myself being so strong
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  Speaker 4: for everyone else around me that I sort of lost
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  Speaker 4: sight of what I actually needed. So I think the
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  Speaker 4: biggest part for me was the start process and then
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  Speaker 4: finding someone that.
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  Speaker 10: You're comfortable that supports system.
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  Speaker 4: Not only that will you know hear you out, but
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  Speaker 4: who's somebody who's also able to provide that that feedback
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  Speaker 4: that that leaves you and after you have that conversation
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  Speaker 4: feeling like you can start the healing process because I
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: just you can't talk to everybody about certain things, especially
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  Speaker 4: personal things. You know, you want to speak to the
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  Speaker 4: right person when it comes to that. So I think
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  Speaker 4: I have to agree with the start and then just
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  Speaker 4: finding someone that you can talk to and share.
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  Speaker 10: I know for me, it took me a very long time.
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  Speaker 4: Caring, but now that I have started sharing, it's definitely
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  Speaker 4: helpful and it definitely has helped me in my healing process.
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  Speaker 3: I want to know how any one of you can
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  Speaker 3: answer this one. How will you personally measure your progress
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  Speaker 3: on this journey from your most important or help that
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  Speaker 3: helped you in your journey towards healing. Is it through
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  Speaker 3: a greater sense of peace, more clarity, or stronger boundaries,
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  Speaker 3: or if it's something else entirely, If i'm you'll measure
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  Speaker 3: our progress? I think for me, yes, Shana, thank you.
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  Speaker 5: Gonna say, I think for me it would definitely be
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  Speaker 5: the sense of peace when my jobs don't clinch when
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  Speaker 5: I'm talking about it, or you know, when I'm not
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: nervous about the conversations, and like what emotions it will
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  Speaker 5: bring out.
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  Speaker 3: Anyone else and to our listeners also, whatever it looks
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: like for you, write it down, put it on paper
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: to speak life into it. Anyone else they want to
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  Speaker 3: share what and how they personally measure their progress on
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: his journey.
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  Speaker 8: If I'm right, uh, Miss Diane and Ms Diamond I
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  Speaker 8: before I actually met you, one of the things that
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  Speaker 8: I it's kind of it's been a journey for twenty
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  Speaker 8: plus years now. One of the things that I had
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  Speaker 8: to do, I took a period. I pulled away. I
• 15:30
  Speaker 8: mean I stopped going out, I stopped hanging out, I
• 15:33
  Speaker 8: stopped doing any other I went to church on Sunday
• 15:37
  Speaker 8: and I came home and I started keeping a daily journal.
• 15:42
  Speaker 8: I think that I started journaling about the last part
• 15:46
  Speaker 8: of two thousand and seven, but I keep a daily journal.
• 15:50
  Speaker 8: And one of the things that I had to do,
• 15:53
  Speaker 8: as as you know, meaning the payment said I had to,
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  Speaker 8: I had to be I had to be transparent with myself.
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  Speaker 3: I had to be totally honest with that man in
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  Speaker 3: the mirror.
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  Speaker 8: And I broke me down, tore me apart, and I
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  Speaker 8: reassembled me piece by piece. Everything I didn't like I changed,
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  Speaker 8: and everything I couldn't change. I had to come to
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  Speaker 8: terms with it.
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  Speaker 3: That are so profound. You know, there are times even
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: when I'm just doing it any kind of work, in
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: order for me to understand it, and that's the way
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  Speaker 3: I did for myself. I had to take it apart
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: and put it back together. And sometimes I feel like
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: I have to take myself apart and put myself back
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  Speaker 3: together in order to get a grip and to be
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: able to understand who I am and where I'm going
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: and where I'm headed. Does anybody else feel that way
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: or they want to share? I would like to say
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  Speaker 3: this is good, good, go ahead.
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  Speaker 7: I would like to say that in my first start,
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  Speaker 7: I didn't necessarily find an ear to listen to me,
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  Speaker 7: but I did find a deeper revelation that the one
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  Speaker 7: who made me was always with me. I didn't make myself.
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  Speaker 7: He made me, and that was God. And so a
• 17:19
  Speaker 7: lot of the trauma that I had when I couldn't
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  Speaker 7: say it out loud, he was there and he helped
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  Speaker 7: me to see me like he saw me, and it
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  Speaker 7: kept me from turning my head away from all of
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  Speaker 7: the trauma that happened in my childhood because I was
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  Speaker 7: still a child when it came to that place of starting,
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  Speaker 7: I could be with God and understand that this happened
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  Speaker 7: to me. It wasn't a dream and it's not a lie,
• 17:45
  Speaker 7: and it gave validation. I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy,
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  Speaker 7: I'm not what I'm hearing, and that gave me a
• 17:53
  Speaker 7: start that whether anybody else would validate the trauma, the
• 17:57
  Speaker 7: reason behind it, it wasn't necessary anymore. I knew the truth,
• 18:03
  Speaker 7: and I knew that I had a God who was
• 18:05
  Speaker 7: with me even when there was not one other human
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  Speaker 7: being who would validate it, and I started with him.
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  Speaker 3: We're not just here flipping pages. We're shifting perspectives and
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: we're going to keep it going. Doctor Stephens, what would
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: you say about some of these people, some of our panelists,
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: and the way that they're getting this start and how
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: what their perspectives is on this.
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  Speaker 9: Well, what I would say is that I've sat here,
• 18:37
  Speaker 9: I certainly have enjoyed listening to the different perspectives that
• 18:44
  Speaker 9: I have heard and we're talking about. When I work
• 18:51
  Speaker 9: with a client, this part of the journey is what
• 18:55
  Speaker 9: I like to call it, it's one of the most
• 18:58
  Speaker 9: challenging parts of the journey, and that is doing that
• 19:02
  Speaker 9: is to identify that there is something going on with me,
• 19:07
  Speaker 9: that there is something wrong, there's something not right, whatever
• 19:12
  Speaker 9: category or person would like to put it in. That
• 19:15
  Speaker 9: is the most tedious part of the healing journey, is
• 19:19
  Speaker 9: to be able to have the courage to do the
• 19:23
  Speaker 9: self reflection and then to have the courage to be
• 19:28
  Speaker 9: able to identify that there is something that is going
• 19:34
  Speaker 9: on with.
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  Speaker 3: Me and believe it or not.
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  Speaker 9: You know, sometimes people ask me, well, if you're a
• 19:40
  Speaker 9: therapist and if people come to you, don't they already
• 19:43
  Speaker 9: know that what's going on with their answers that that
• 19:48
  Speaker 9: is not entirely When most people come to me as
• 19:54
  Speaker 9: a client, they don't know what to call it, they
• 19:57
  Speaker 9: don't know what name to put on it, but they
• 20:01
  Speaker 9: know that at this particular point of their life that
• 20:07
  Speaker 9: they see themselves somewhere else, but they're not where they
• 20:11
  Speaker 9: see themselves, and they are not functioning in the capacity
• 20:16
  Speaker 9: that they hope to function in. So I would say
• 20:19
  Speaker 9: to the panel that I certainly enjoyed the introspection that
• 20:25
  Speaker 9: I've heard so far, because that is certainly true that
• 20:29
  Speaker 9: we all want to be daring and courageous enough to
• 20:32
  Speaker 9: be able to do the self reflection which is mentioned
• 20:34
  Speaker 9: here in the workbook, to be able to identify the
• 20:38
  Speaker 9: areas in where in what you know, the areas that
• 20:41
  Speaker 9: we need the most work in. I think that that
• 20:44
  Speaker 9: is the most courageous perspective to have. I did want
• 20:48
  Speaker 9: to piggyback just for a quick second on what Ambassador
• 20:53
  Speaker 9: Poning said. Something that he said, and he did quickly
• 20:57
  Speaker 9: mention that for men sometimes that.
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  Speaker 3: Part of it is a more tedious process to be.
• 21:04
  Speaker 9: Able to identify, to be able to admit that there
• 21:10
  Speaker 9: are some things that may not be going well. And
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  Speaker 9: I certainly can thank him for saying that because and
• 21:19
  Speaker 9: so what I want to say to that for those
• 21:21
  Speaker 9: who are listening, is that we live in a society
• 21:25
  Speaker 9: where we don't always make it easy for men to disclose.
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  Speaker 3: I do not believe that it is because.
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  Speaker 9: Men do not want to disclose, or that men don't
• 21:37
  Speaker 9: have anything to say. I personally believe that men have
• 21:40
  Speaker 9: a lot to say and that they want to disclose.
• 21:44
  Speaker 9: But as a society, and as a sub society meanings
• 21:48
  Speaker 9: within our community, sometimes we have not made it easy
• 21:53
  Speaker 9: for men to disclose, or to share, or to communicate.
• 21:57
  Speaker 9: And so that's why I fatunity love this idea about
• 22:00
  Speaker 9: the panel and what we're doing, because we're having those
• 22:04
  Speaker 9: necessary conversations that need to be had so that we
• 22:09
  Speaker 9: can begin to build safe spaces, so that we can say, hey,
• 22:14
  Speaker 9: I'm not okay, because it's okay to not be okay.
• 22:18
  Speaker 9: So that's my perspective so far.
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much. I also gonna think with Tanya
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: and Jazzmine d d and Jasmine Coleman and Alisa for
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: participating and coming and listening to our journey. And this
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: is our journey. We're gonna work together to recognize our
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: indus strength through self awareness, the process emotional challenges, with
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: mindfulness and reflection, We're gonna build real, hm lasting brasilia,
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: something we can last. Us cultivate compassion for ourselves even
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: in our hardest moments, and we're gonna grow not perfectly
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: but intentional. So let's begin at the very beginning with you.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: As you reflect on your past experiences and personal growth
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: as outlined on page fourteen, what stands out most in
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: your journey so far? Take a moment and ask yourself
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: what brought you here? Was it pain, survival, the hope
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: for something different, something more? If you haven't already, write
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: a short note to yourself, Be honest, be gentle, Let
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: it be messy if it needs to be. This note
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: will serve is your anchor throughout the next six months.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: So what brought you here to this panel, to this discussion.
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: So I'll start so for me and I'm just going
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: to read my response if that's okay and so fun
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: and my need to always be strong I've always held
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: it together where everyone else children, family, community. Even when
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: I was breaking inside, the crack whispered, who holds me?
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: While I'm holding everybody else together? So in my self sacrifice,
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: giving so much of myself to others, there was crack
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: in my own self care, my identity beyond what I
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: do for others. The question became where do I exist
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: just for me? These cracks don't define my weakness, they
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: define my depth. They are not things to be ashamed of,
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: but places where I'm being stretched, growing and learning to behold.
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: So just kind of back piggyback. And you know, I've
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: always been that go to person. And as I said before,
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: you know, my passion is to uplift and you know, inspire.
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: But at the same time, and you know, even those
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: strong people need, you know, that support as well. And
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: I realized how much I would I am to go
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: to person. I love that because that's my attach here.
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: But at the same time, you know, I liked my
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: own self care. So I what I have done recently
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: is for one just be able to identify that. Like
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: doctor Stevens mentioned, and I really had to break down,
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: what does self care look like?
• 25:23
  Speaker 10: For me?
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: What does that look like for me, because I know
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: some people may consider a self day as a.
• 25:29
  Speaker 10: Spy day, I realized.
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: Good time for me, it's the quiet time that helps
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: me reset, that gives me that peace.
• 25:39
  Speaker 10: So me being here is just learning how to have that.
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: Self care in the process of also still being strong,
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: not only for myself but for those around me.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much for sharing. We have Latan who
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: said that's my situation as well. Everything for everyone except myself.
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: We want you to give yourself time. And one of
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: the things that I have done for myself was I
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: parented myself. In doing so, I was able to realize
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: that I was parented by a beautiful person. But for me,
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: I look at it now and I look back at
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: myself as a child, and I have this huge picture
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: in one of my rooms, and my family asked me,
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: why don't I hang it on the wall because it
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: should not be on the wall. That's a child and
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: I'm taking that child through a journey, a journey that
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: I want to take her on that I want to
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: parent her through. You know, my mom did what to
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: do by me and for me. But when I look
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: in the eyes of MYSELFLF, I see something that somebody
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: else don't see. I see a sadness that was there
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: that made nobody else recognized. But as I look back
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: at myself, I said, yeah, I see you. I see
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: to her it was always there, but nobody knew it
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: but me. So while I'm doing this, I apologize to
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: myself every day. Every day I go past that picture
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: and it reminds me of who I was, who I am,
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: and where I'm headed. And it makes me feel so
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: good when I leave the house, and I feel especially
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: good when I come back because I see it. To
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: some extent, I feel like she's grinning, like she smiled,
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: like she said, and you're taking care of me and
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: the way that I wanted to be taken care of.
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: And not to say that my mother didn't do her best,
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: but I'm a parent now and I know how I parented,
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: so I just wish I had some of that for me.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: So that's the way that I look at it, and
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: for me and for anybody else to self care. Like
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: parn said, it's so very important. Chavil says, thanks for sharing,
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: and she also says congratulations and amen not dd he said,
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: because you are so right, author fair, and the strong
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: needs someone to lean on too. I am that any way,
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: and you guys are touching people's hearts and in just
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: so many ways. Does anybody else want to share? Was
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: it pain, survival or the hope of something different or
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: something more? I would like to share, Yes, please, yes.
• 28:24
  Speaker 6: I would say.
• 28:25
  Speaker 11: What brought me to the panel was definitely piggybacking a
• 28:28
  Speaker 11: little bit off of what Pharah said and what doctor
• 28:30
  Speaker 11: Stephens said, was understanding that I was to go to
• 28:35
  Speaker 11: and that during that during my whole life, I've been
• 28:39
  Speaker 11: the go to. I've been the one who's strong, the
• 28:41
  Speaker 11: one who looks through situations and helps everyone else stand up.
• 28:47
  Speaker 11: And for years it took me time to really as
• 28:50
  Speaker 11: as as you said, have the conversation with myself, sit
• 28:53
  Speaker 11: down with myself. And what I did for years is
• 28:57
  Speaker 11: just journal I journaled it all out and I thought
• 29:01
  Speaker 11: that it was the the ability to get that off
• 29:06
  Speaker 11: my chest and for lack of better words, and that
• 29:10
  Speaker 11: that it was allowing me to be okay. When I
• 29:13
  Speaker 11: realized that I wasn't okay was when I noticed that
• 29:18
  Speaker 11: no one was showing up for me. And it also
• 29:22
  Speaker 11: it taught me to understand self care in a more
• 29:26
  Speaker 11: impactful way to teach people how to treat and and
• 29:32
  Speaker 11: that and that started with me learning how to treat myself.
• 29:35
  Speaker 11: So having that that revelation that I had taught people
• 29:40
  Speaker 11: that I was a strong one, I had taught people
• 29:43
  Speaker 11: that I didn't need to be comforted. I had taught
• 29:46
  Speaker 11: people to treat me the way that they were treating me.
• 29:51
  Speaker 11: So when I had the revelation that it was now
• 29:55
  Speaker 11: time to have clear boundaries and take self care to
• 29:58
  Speaker 11: a different level of not just of taking the time
• 30:02
  Speaker 11: for myself, also to re teach and start educating people
• 30:08
  Speaker 11: on who I am. And now I'm not just a
• 30:11
  Speaker 11: strong person. I'm a person who has the ability to
• 30:14
  Speaker 11: soak up a little bit more than others. But that
• 30:16
  Speaker 11: doesn't mean that I don't want to be taken care
• 30:19
  Speaker 11: of and that I don't want to people to check
• 30:22
  Speaker 11: on me. And this week, and it's ironic that we're
• 30:27
  Speaker 11: here together. This week, I had two situations that really
• 30:32
  Speaker 11: showed that I actually have taught people how to treat me.
• 30:36
  Speaker 11: And if you as don't Miami shared, I'll make it brief.
• 30:40
  Speaker 11: I went to a store. I went to the store
• 30:44
  Speaker 11: on Tuesday, and I was in the store having a
• 30:47
  Speaker 11: conversation I am a leadership coach and I have inspiration
• 30:51
  Speaker 11: that pours from me all the time. I'm always in
• 30:53
  Speaker 11: a very happy place. Now, I want to put that
• 30:55
  Speaker 11: word out there now. And I was in and I
• 30:58
  Speaker 11: was in a store with a young lady and she was.
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: Having a hard time. So we were talking.
• 31:02
  Speaker 11: My son and I were on the phone. I told
• 31:03
  Speaker 11: him I'll call him back. An hour and a half later,
• 31:06
  Speaker 11: I was still talking to the lady. So my son
• 31:10
  Speaker 11: and my daughter checked the yellow paint well checked online
• 31:14
  Speaker 11: to find the name of the story cup because my
• 31:16
  Speaker 11: phone is gonna do not disturb before from two to
• 31:18
  Speaker 11: four pm. That's the time where I reflect on things
• 31:21
  Speaker 11: in my life. So that's another form of self care
• 31:23
  Speaker 11: for me. But the but the issue was that they
• 31:26
  Speaker 11: were calling me and couldn't get through, and so they
• 31:30
  Speaker 11: called the store looking for me and asked the lady
• 31:34
  Speaker 11: has she seen me? So that showed me that I
• 31:37
  Speaker 11: have taught other people how to actually give me and
• 31:41
  Speaker 11: to that I need assistance as well. So that situation
• 31:45
  Speaker 11: was just it allowed it really allowed me to understand
• 31:48
  Speaker 11: that yes, I was broken.
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: I understand that I.
• 31:53
  Speaker 11: Was broken, and that that's to me takes the courage
• 31:56
  Speaker 11: and each of us here today, I applaud us for
• 31:58
  Speaker 11: stepping up and saying that thro were broken. The hardest thing,
• 32:02
  Speaker 11: as totally said, is the hardest thing. And it's not
• 32:04
  Speaker 11: just for men, yes, for all people in general that
• 32:07
  Speaker 11: will not say I'm hurt, I need help, I need guidance,
• 32:13
  Speaker 11: I need a moment, and and and And that's what
• 32:17
  Speaker 11: made me come to the panel because I just really
• 32:19
  Speaker 11: believe that if I can share a bit of my
• 32:23
  Speaker 11: story and it helps another individual find success, we all win.
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: Absolutely. Yes, yes, yes, we have the tanis as I
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: deal with abandonment issue and I'm learning to love the
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: little girl that never received a love. Doctor Stevens talked
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: to us, how do we begin doing this work from
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: a place of truth and care.
• 32:52
  Speaker 9: That's a very profound question, and I have to say
• 32:55
  Speaker 9: that I have again, I have enjoyed the comments that
• 32:58
  Speaker 9: I have heard. I've listened attentively, and I've heard quite
• 33:03
  Speaker 9: a few people, uh starting with fairn made reference to
• 33:08
  Speaker 9: self care, and I want us to continue to utilize
• 33:12
  Speaker 9: that term. I want to give you another term to
• 33:16
  Speaker 9: go along with self care, and that is self preservation,
• 33:23
  Speaker 9: because sometimes what happens is when we use the term
• 33:26
  Speaker 9: self care.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: Somebody might say, well, that's in a bubble bath.
• 33:31
  Speaker 9: That's me having a glass of wines and candles and
• 33:35
  Speaker 9: and and and actually doing something and and those things
• 33:39
  Speaker 9: can be good tools to utilize. But I just wanted
• 33:44
  Speaker 9: to add to it to to begin to look at
• 33:47
  Speaker 9: it as self preservation, that it is important for.
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: Me to keep me. Most of us sometimes, and I'm
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: gonna say.
• 34:00
  Speaker 9: It's especially women, that we do a very good job
• 34:05
  Speaker 9: at being continuously being very maternal and very nurturing and
• 34:11
  Speaker 9: preserving the life of other people. We start our journey
• 34:17
  Speaker 9: off in motherhood before that child even comes into the
• 34:21
  Speaker 9: world by preserving a child within our wombs.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: So we're accustomed to doing that. Okay, Then when that child.
• 34:30
  Speaker 9: Is born, which we're trying to preserve their life, we're
• 34:33
  Speaker 9: trying to preserve them from the dangers of the world.
• 34:37
  Speaker 9: So what I'm presenting to all of us is that
• 34:41
  Speaker 9: we start to look at preserving preserving ourselves to keeping
• 34:48
  Speaker 9: keeping me here for the long haul, and we start
• 34:52
  Speaker 9: looking at self care in that manner, in preserving ourselves
• 34:58
  Speaker 9: and in preserving self preservation, in preserving yourself.
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: That may mean that there are.
• 35:07
  Speaker 9: Themes, there are ideologies, behaviors, relationships. There may be things
• 35:13
  Speaker 9: from the past that has traumatized us that we to
• 35:18
  Speaker 9: work through processes to begin to let goose go because
• 35:22
  Speaker 9: they're now affecting our self preservation and we in order
• 35:27
  Speaker 9: for us to preserve ourselves, there are certain things that
• 35:31
  Speaker 9: we not to be able to We've got to.
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: Be able to let go. So I didn't love the
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: fact that of.
• 35:38
  Speaker 9: Us, even in our audience tonight, that we're beginning to identify.
• 35:42
  Speaker 9: One of the things that I've heard is that we
• 35:44
  Speaker 9: have what we call the Superwoman's complex, or it could
• 35:47
  Speaker 9: be the Superman complex, is that I have to spend
• 35:51
  Speaker 9: my life taking care of other people. And we can
• 35:54
  Speaker 9: do that so long, and I always have some about
• 35:58
  Speaker 9: that taking care of other people that can sound like
• 36:02
  Speaker 9: a very noble thing I have to be for my family.
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: I mean, it was amazing people and that kind of God.
• 36:16
  Speaker 11: I won't let you guys listen in a little bit necessary,
• 36:21
  Speaker 11: I said, again, Oh.
• 36:22
  Speaker 9: I hear people talking, don't right, here's the one that Okay,
• 36:27
  Speaker 9: I please move themselves because that's I'm sorry, Okay, go ahead,
• 36:34
  Speaker 9: I think I think so I want us to definitely
• 36:39
  Speaker 9: take away from it that we need to we need
• 36:41
  Speaker 9: to be on the journey of preserving ourselves to be
• 36:46
  Speaker 9: dedicated to giving nfl UH long life. But what I
• 36:50
  Speaker 9: was going to say was is that because a lot
• 36:53
  Speaker 9: of time in our journey because of toxic my life
• 36:58
  Speaker 9: experience is because.
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: Of Trump and other things that we've gone through.
• 37:03
  Speaker 9: That when we always say I had to be strong
• 37:05
  Speaker 9: for other people, and this is not to negate the
• 37:07
  Speaker 9: fact that we have had to be strong for other people,
• 37:10
  Speaker 9: but sometimes we continue to live there because it takes
• 37:14
  Speaker 9: me at off tending to ourselves.
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: And I don't say that again. Sometimes we continue.
• 37:21
  Speaker 9: To live there because it takes the attention of the
• 37:25
  Speaker 9: fact act that we need to take of of ourselves.
• 37:31
  Speaker 9: And then we can go into a place where we
• 37:33
  Speaker 9: allow that to be a part of our narrative and
• 37:36
  Speaker 9: subconsciously we begin to believe that it is selfish to
• 37:41
  Speaker 9: take care of self. It is not selfish to take
• 37:45
  Speaker 9: care of self. If there are five important people in
• 37:48
  Speaker 9: your life, we may be your children, it could be
• 37:51
  Speaker 9: your parents, could be a wife, a husband, what have you.
• 37:55
  Speaker 9: In order for you to continue to probably do that,
• 37:58
  Speaker 9: you have got to take care of your You have
• 38:01
  Speaker 9: got to tend to yourself. You have got to preserve
• 38:04
  Speaker 9: yourself in over order to properly do that. And I'll
• 38:07
  Speaker 9: leave this last tip before a quiet year on this
• 38:10
  Speaker 9: is that sometimes we need to send out the memo
• 38:13
  Speaker 9: to our community of people that love us and we
• 38:16
  Speaker 9: love them, and we need to not be afraid and
• 38:18
  Speaker 9: to tell those people in our lives, in our surf, hey,
• 38:23
  Speaker 9: this is me and I want to tell you that
• 38:26
  Speaker 9: I need to take some time to take care of
• 38:29
  Speaker 9: me and I'd like for you to support me while
• 38:32
  Speaker 9: I'm on that journey so that I can come back
• 38:35
  Speaker 9: and be a better dad, a better man, a better woman,
• 38:38
  Speaker 9: a better sister. We need to start to give people
• 38:43
  Speaker 9: that memo and tell those people that I need and
• 38:48
  Speaker 9: may shure we say needs. Don't be afraid to say
• 38:50
  Speaker 9: what you need. I need to people tell you all
• 38:53
  Speaker 9: day what they need. Don't be afraid to tell people.
• 38:55
  Speaker 9: Communicate this. This is what I need and what I
• 39:00
  Speaker 9: will need from you. I need you to support me
• 39:03
  Speaker 9: in my journey of self preservation and self healing, to
• 39:07
  Speaker 9: keep me accountable because I need to be a better person.
• 39:13
  Speaker 11: I love that.
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: I hope that you over listening. You know, as our
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: listeners take their first brave step writing down why they're
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: here and setting personal goals. How can they hold space
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: for both the pain of their past and the hope
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: hope for their future, Doctor Stevens, I'm not sure. I'm
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: not sure it's down. Who are you addressing? Addressing that?
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: I'm addressing you, doctor Stevens. As our listeners take their
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: first brave step writing down why they're here and setting
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: their personal goals, how can they hold space for both
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: the pain of their past and the hope for their future.
• 40:05
  Speaker 9: That is a very deep and profound question. That question
• 40:10
  Speaker 9: for you, that's a very deep and profound question because
• 40:17
  Speaker 9: sometimes we are afraid to confront our path. So here's
• 40:22
  Speaker 9: something I'll drop here with all of us as we
• 40:26
  Speaker 9: need this space for us to think about. You can't
• 40:30
  Speaker 9: heal what you're not willing to confront. And I'll say
• 40:33
  Speaker 9: that one more time, you cannot heal what you're not
• 40:37
  Speaker 9: willing to confront. I think that Ambassador Bobby worked in
• 40:41
  Speaker 9: the medical field, so she probably would understand this concept
• 40:44
  Speaker 9: a far cry better than I could. If somebody comes
• 40:47
  Speaker 9: into the hospital and they've got a scar, a deep scar,
• 40:52
  Speaker 9: or they've got to both sen limb or something like
• 40:55
  Speaker 9: that that nurse, that doctor is going to have to
• 40:59
  Speaker 9: tend to that. I've heard stories where they had to
• 41:01
  Speaker 9: sometimes rebreak the leg or something like that.
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: But and and and quite naturally, most some people.
• 41:08
  Speaker 9: Would say, no, I'm not going to address that, but
• 41:11
  Speaker 9: do you really want to heal? So there are instances
• 41:16
  Speaker 9: where we want to heal that we do need to
• 41:20
  Speaker 9: confront some things from the past. I'm not suggesting that
• 41:23
  Speaker 9: we live there and we take up residents there, but
• 41:27
  Speaker 9: there is there are certain things in our past that
• 41:31
  Speaker 9: is causing us pain in our future. And so we
• 41:35
  Speaker 9: do need to confront certain things in our past so
• 41:40
  Speaker 9: that we're able to forgive ourselves so that we're able
• 41:44
  Speaker 9: to forgive those people that may have been responsible or
• 41:48
  Speaker 9: caused the cause the trauma. So there are things in
• 41:52
  Speaker 9: our past that we need to not necessarily live in,
• 41:56
  Speaker 9: but we need to address it so that we can
• 42:00
  Speaker 9: continue to move on forward in our future, because sometimes
• 42:04
  Speaker 9: we get stuck, and we are we are stuck because
• 42:08
  Speaker 9: there are past experiences that still have us stuck and
• 42:12
  Speaker 9: so in order to give unstuck, we have to confront
• 42:15
  Speaker 9: pain and say, yes, it did happen to me.
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: We identify that this did happen to me. But I'm
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: no longer a victim to you, Okay, I am going
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: to be free of this thing.
• 42:28
  Speaker 9: And so that's what I mean when I say you
• 42:31
  Speaker 9: cannot heal anything that you're not willing to confront.
• 42:36
  Speaker 8: Yes, if I could figure back on Doctor Steele's come in.
• 42:45
  Speaker 8: One of the things I think probably the most important
• 42:48
  Speaker 8: thing that I was able to do. I had to
• 42:52
  Speaker 8: learn how to embrace the pain. And as she said,
• 42:58
  Speaker 8: you can't, you can't. You can't deal with it unless
• 43:01
  Speaker 8: you unless you first acknowledge it. And for a long
• 43:06
  Speaker 8: time I lived in denial.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: Two.
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: That will help you not only understand your story, but
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: you shape it.
• 43:13
  Speaker 8: Yes, Yes, And like I said, for a long time
• 43:18
  Speaker 8: I lived in denial, I didn't.
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: My case was a little more unique.
• 43:23
  Speaker 8: I lost my memory, so I had to reconstruct who
• 43:27
  Speaker 8: I was as an individual without knowing my past. And
• 43:33
  Speaker 8: so I was at the I was at the mercy
• 43:36
  Speaker 8: of everyone else, because everybody who knew me had a
• 43:39
  Speaker 8: different version of who I was. And that was doubly
• 43:43
  Speaker 8: completed because I didn't know. I didn't have a foundation.
• 43:47
  Speaker 8: I didn't know where to start, and that was probably
• 43:51
  Speaker 8: the most challenging aspect the first well, gosh, probably the
• 43:55
  Speaker 8: first ten twelve years beyond my accident.
• 44:00
  Speaker 6: I had no idea where.
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: It was or who it was.
• 44:07
  Speaker 11: And if I can piggyback a little bit on what
• 44:09
  Speaker 11: BJ just said, I mean, but just said, I think
• 44:13
  Speaker 11: sometimes and this is just my opinion, and as I said,
• 44:15
  Speaker 11: I only speak, I only speak from my sphere that
• 44:18
  Speaker 11: sometimes we do re visit the past and we are
• 44:23
  Speaker 11: looking for closure of the of that event, and and
• 44:28
  Speaker 11: when we don't get that closure, we hold on to that.
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: And this is just what I've done.
• 44:34
  Speaker 11: Personally, and and and I'm going to as I can't
• 44:37
  Speaker 11: speak for other people, and I just say how I
• 44:39
  Speaker 11: deal with things. I didn't get closure from situations that
• 44:42
  Speaker 11: have caused me pain in the past.
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: What I did from that is.
• 44:46
  Speaker 11: I forgive them, and I forgive me, and I have
• 44:51
  Speaker 11: left it where it is. I'm not looking for them
• 44:54
  Speaker 11: to accept or say they were right or wrong. I
• 45:00
  Speaker 11: don't have to be right or wrong. I have just
• 45:02
  Speaker 11: accepted the thing, the pain of the situation, and have
• 45:07
  Speaker 11: learned to move on. And I think that that sometimes
• 45:10
  Speaker 11: is the hardest thing is that we're looking for, we're
• 45:14
  Speaker 11: looking for to close that door. We're looking for an event,
• 45:17
  Speaker 11: a person, a situation to close something for us, when
• 45:22
  Speaker 11: to me.
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: I acknowledged that it happened.
• 45:25
  Speaker 11: I reached out to the individuals in those situations that
• 45:29
  Speaker 11: I wanted to know that I wanted to closure in
• 45:32
  Speaker 11: and they weren't ready to close. And everyone must find
• 45:35
  Speaker 11: that closure on their own time, and for me, I
• 45:38
  Speaker 11: forgive them for not being willing to take on the
• 45:44
  Speaker 11: trauma in their lives. I accept the trauma in my
• 45:48
  Speaker 11: life and have learned how to deal with it, how
• 45:52
  Speaker 11: to move past it, and have the momentum to move
• 45:55
  Speaker 11: forward to the next best version of me. So I
• 45:59
  Speaker 11: think that's something that I think has to be said,
• 46:03
  Speaker 11: that sometimes you're not gonna get closer form another individual,
• 46:06
  Speaker 11: and that not getting that closer from the other individual
• 46:09
  Speaker 11: is okay. Like doctor Stephens said, we know it's okay
• 46:13
  Speaker 11: to not be okay, and sometimes that person is not
• 46:15
  Speaker 11: at a place in their mind where they can accept
• 46:19
  Speaker 11: that they hurt another individual. So I accept my pain
• 46:24
  Speaker 11: is being real. So that's the first thing. I accept
• 46:27
  Speaker 11: that it's real and that no one can tell me
• 46:29
  Speaker 11: that it is or is not or did or did
• 46:32
  Speaker 11: not happen to me.
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: So what what what, what.
• 46:35
  Speaker 11: I have, what I have done and learned to do,
• 46:39
  Speaker 11: is that it's okay that you don't accept it.
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: I accept that it happened. I've gotten over it.
• 46:45
  Speaker 11: I now I say, forgiving somebody does not mean I
• 46:48
  Speaker 11: forgive it, And forgiving someone does not mean that I
• 46:53
  Speaker 11: want them in my life. Forgiving for me means and
• 46:56
  Speaker 11: it's just just speaking for myself. Forgiven me means that
• 47:01
  Speaker 11: I forgive the situation and that it no longer has
• 47:03
  Speaker 11: any power in my current life.
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: Mm hmmm. So that that's that's you know, I've always
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: been I've always been to that power, and I want
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: to say that.
• 47:21
  Speaker 9: No, I'm sorry, I'm found it, but I had to
• 47:26
  Speaker 9: jump in and here that's very profound what she said that.
• 47:29
  Speaker 6: Is let me let me add this.
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: Can you guys hear me? We can hear you now, now,
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: can you hear me?
• 47:44
  Speaker 10: I can hear you.
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm so sorry I've been out. I don't know
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: what's been going on. Yeah, okay, great, thank you. You
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: know now that you've all reflected on on what brought
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: you here, let's take one step further. This journey isn't
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: just about making it through. It's about growing through healing, stretching, evolving,
• 48:03
  Speaker 3: and showing up for yourself a new way. But to
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: do that you need clarity, you need intention. So here's
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: your next step. Write a note to yourself, something honest,
• 48:16
  Speaker 3: something true. Let it come from the version of you
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: that's ready to grow, to rise, and to reclaim your voice.
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: This letter is a promise to yourself from yourself. Now
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: it's that time to go even deeper. You set three
• 48:32
  Speaker 3: personal goals for this journey. Goals that speak directly to
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: the parts of.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: You that.
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: Are ready for change. What areas of your life are
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: asking for healing or transformation? Be specific, be courageous. These
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: are goals that will guide you through the next six months,
• 48:54
  Speaker 3: like a confidence pointing towards your truth. Yeah, listen for
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: you by anyone else. Maybe it's making peace with your past.
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: Maybe it's m hm learning to trust. Just mm hmm.
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: Found rest without Wherever they are, write them down. Give
• 49:22
  Speaker 3: tell me how you know you're growing. Is it feeling
• 49:25
  Speaker 3: more grounded in your day? Is it poising before.
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: H y.
• 49:36
  Speaker 6: Run dout the black one of my Let me have
• 49:39
  Speaker 6: one of my uh.
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: Personal goal, be brave, be ready. So here's an affirmation
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: for you to repeat after me. I want everybody to
• 49:53
  Speaker 3: repeat this. I honor where I have been, I have been.
• 50:01
  Speaker 3: I'm not sure if you guys can herem I'm going.
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: Missed that part up a little bit, and I give
• 50:11
  Speaker 3: myself permission to grow and peace. I heard. I am becoming.
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: I am not broken. I am becoming.
• 50:36
  Speaker 8: I am not broken.
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: I asked everybody to repeat the affirmation, and the affirmation
• 50:42
  Speaker 3: began with honor where I have been. I trust where
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: I'm going, I trust where I trust where I'm going,
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: and I give myself permission and I give myself permission
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: m hm to grow at my own pace, at in
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: my own way. I am not broken.
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: I am becoming.
• 51:26
  Speaker 10: I am becoming.
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: I am coming. I am becoming. So sick with that,
• 51:36
  Speaker 3: let it settle and when you're ready to meet me
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: on page is sixteen and seventeen. We still got work
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: to do, people, family, We're even here. We're doing more
• 51:43
  Speaker 3: healing to claim. Doctor Stevens now that our paneling this
• 51:48
  Speaker 3: and our listeners have taken the time to write down
• 51:50
  Speaker 3: their personal goals and think about how they'll measure their growth.
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: In addition to affirming, can you speak to some of
• 51:56
  Speaker 3: the importance of setting emotional and spiritual goals, not just
• 52:00
  Speaker 3: external ones, but certainly.
• 52:10
  Speaker 5: Well.
• 52:11
  Speaker 9: It is important to set emotional goals, spiritual goals, physical goals,
• 52:21
  Speaker 9: financial goals. It is it's important to set goals for ourself, okay,
• 52:31
  Speaker 9: in all of those areas of our life that make
• 52:35
  Speaker 9: us make us up as a human being. Because we
• 52:39
  Speaker 9: are a multiplexed individual, we are multiplexed beings. There's not
• 52:46
  Speaker 9: just one part to us, and oftentimes when we become
• 52:51
  Speaker 9: broken or cracked or damaged, it is because there is
• 52:56
  Speaker 9: a part of our being that has gone unattended. For
• 53:02
  Speaker 9: a example, I believe I heard someone in our audience
• 53:08
  Speaker 9: tonight say that they deal with issues of abandonment. And
• 53:14
  Speaker 9: so when I hear people say that they deal with
• 53:18
  Speaker 9: issues of abandonment and first and poegos, let me say,
• 53:22
  Speaker 9: I respect the individual that was courageous enough to put
• 53:27
  Speaker 9: that out there in front of us, and you're in
• 53:31
  Speaker 9: a safe space, so thank you for sharing that. But
• 53:34
  Speaker 9: when I hear individuals say that they deal with things
• 53:38
  Speaker 9: like abandonment, what that tells me is that there was
• 53:43
  Speaker 9: some area in your life that was unattended. We study
• 53:49
  Speaker 9: in psychology something called Maslow's hierarchy. Of needs, and it
• 53:53
  Speaker 9: actually looks like a pyramid, and there are certain needs
• 53:59
  Speaker 9: or things that people needs that start at the very
• 54:02
  Speaker 9: bottom of that pyramid, and as you go up to
• 54:05
  Speaker 9: the very top.
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: Of the pyramid.
• 54:08
  Speaker 9: It is our hope that as human beings that we
• 54:10
  Speaker 9: reached something called self actualization. And so as a child,
• 54:17
  Speaker 9: as a teenager, if you don't get certain needs met.
• 54:21
  Speaker 9: For example, if unfortunately you were raised by a parent
• 54:26
  Speaker 9: who was neglectful of your physical need to food and shelter,
• 54:32
  Speaker 9: of you know, medical attention, then you're going to feel
• 54:36
  Speaker 9: abandoned in that particular area or so. Understanding that we
• 54:42
  Speaker 9: are multiplexed individuals, and I certainly love that about us because,
• 54:49
  Speaker 9: if I may add, the Bible tells us that we
• 54:52
  Speaker 9: were made in the image of God. And because we
• 54:55
  Speaker 9: were made in the image of God, God himself is
• 54:59
  Speaker 9: a multi worth being. God's just not one thing.
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: God is many things in all things. And the beauty
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: about God, though, is that God is all those things,
• 55:11
  Speaker 3: all at the same time, and to all of us.
• 55:14
  Speaker 3: Couldn't hear on this channel.
• 55:16
  Speaker 9: He can be one thing to me, one thing to Rachel,
• 55:20
  Speaker 9: one thing to Tony, and so on and so on.
• 55:23
  Speaker 3: So he is a multiverse being.
• 55:25
  Speaker 9: And we were made in his image so that we
• 55:27
  Speaker 9: have different sides and different parts to ourselves as well.
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: Okay, Tony is just not an author. But Tony is
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: a father, you know, he's a brother, he's a speaker.
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: You know, he's a human being. He's a man.
• 55:43
  Speaker 9: And so if I were leave anything with us tonight,
• 55:46
  Speaker 9: that we have to understand that God wants us.
• 55:50
  Speaker 3: To be whole.
• 55:51
  Speaker 9: And I think that my sister Bobby could probably speak
• 55:54
  Speaker 9: on that really good because that's her name right there.
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: But we are whole human beings.
• 55:59
  Speaker 9: God wants us to behole and and so in order
• 56:02
  Speaker 9: for us to behold and to get those cracks repaired,
• 56:06
  Speaker 9: we have to start identifying what what area of my
• 56:10
  Speaker 9: life are there there? Where are the cracks? Where first
• 56:14
  Speaker 9: of all are the craft. Maybe you can't see the
• 56:17
  Speaker 9: cracks because you've been living with them so long till
• 56:21
  Speaker 9: now you think what is abnormal have now become But
• 56:24
  Speaker 9: really it's abnormal because sometimes we can take things that
• 56:28
  Speaker 9: are abnormal and we can start to make it normal
• 56:31
  Speaker 9: because we don't want to confront our pains. Okay, but
• 56:35
  Speaker 9: your family knows that there's some crack, your son, your
• 56:38
  Speaker 9: daughter knows that there's some cracks.
• 56:40
  Speaker 3: Your friend knows that there's some cracks. And sometimes we're
• 56:44
  Speaker 3: afraid to let those people come in our lives and say, hey,
• 56:48
  Speaker 3: you know, I've been seeing some things right there, but
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: I hadn't said anything. And that's another.
• 56:53
  Speaker 9: Thing, especially in our community. We got to stop being
• 56:56
  Speaker 9: afraid to talk about things. And so this is why
• 56:59
  Speaker 9: this is a good This is a good environment because
• 57:03
  Speaker 9: now we are taking the steps and we're having the
• 57:06
  Speaker 9: courage to go ahead and to talk about things. Because
• 57:10
  Speaker 9: if you really want to heal, let me tell you
• 57:13
  Speaker 9: something about really wanting to heal.
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: When you really want to heal, you're gonna go ahead
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: on and disclose.
• 57:19
  Speaker 9: You're going to do whatever it is to be a
• 57:22
  Speaker 9: better person, to be a whole person. So yes, give
• 57:27
  Speaker 9: your self permission to say I want to be a
• 57:31
  Speaker 9: whole person. But there are ends of my life that
• 57:36
  Speaker 9: has gone unattended. And sometimes it's not a mother or
• 57:40
  Speaker 9: father that has abandoned you.
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: Sometimes we abandoning ourselves. Yes, we walked off on our
• 57:47
  Speaker 3: own self. I would say to you tonight, walk back
• 57:51
  Speaker 3: to yourself. Yourself is calling for you to come home. Yes,
• 57:57
  Speaker 3: back yourself, go home. To you, not necessarily to somebody.
• 58:02
  Speaker 12: You're looking for somebody else to come home to you,
• 58:05
  Speaker 12: go home to you, and to find you absolutely powerful, powerful,
• 58:11
  Speaker 12: Doctor Stevens, I hope you caught what she just said.
• 58:15
  Speaker 3: Your goals are more than just boxes to check their seeds,
• 58:18
  Speaker 3: and healing doesn't just show up in big milestones. It
• 58:21
  Speaker 3: shows the quoe or keep showing up. So if your
• 58:29
  Speaker 3: goal is peace, presence or letting go, ho of that.
• 58:33
  Speaker 3: If your progress looks like resting more, forgiving slowly, or
• 58:36
  Speaker 3: writing one honest journal entry, celebrate that. This is a
• 58:40
  Speaker 3: journey of becoming, not performing. So hold tight onto the
• 58:45
  Speaker 3: goals you set, You visit them often, and remember you're
• 58:48
  Speaker 3: allowed to change it as you grow, because growth isn't
• 58:52
  Speaker 3: ana and healing doesn't have a debt mind. But let
• 59:02
  Speaker 3: everything to rise when I'm ready. Every step I take,
• 59:48
  Speaker 3: no matter how small, is still forward. I will be
• 59:53
  Speaker 3: kind to myself, I will honor my truth, and I
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: will not give up on becoming whole. Say it with me,
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 3: I am not easily broken. You sleep, Doctor Stevens. Do
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 3: you have any final thoughts, to words or wisdom you'll
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: like to share with both our panelists and those tuning
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 3: in well, because I know that we're at the end
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 3: of our time.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 9: I just want to tell everybody that's listening tonight and
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 9: I audience, and tell all about panelists. Give yourself permission
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 9: and fill in the blank whatever that is. Give yourself
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 9: permission for whatever, and fill in the blank for yourself.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 9: Give yourself grace, give yourself permission to love you in
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 9: whatever area it is that you need to love yourself,
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 9: and give yourself permission to heal, and give yourself permission
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 9: to be a whole human being. So I'd like to
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 9: leave that with every one tonight, Give yourself permission. I
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 9: also like to say, there's anybody who is listening one tonight,
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 9: or anybody in the family, if you want to reach
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 9: out for me, if you feel that you need that
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 9: objected person to talk to.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 3: I think that my.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 9: Information is up on the screen. If not, we could
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 9: certainly get it to you. You are more than welcome
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 9: to knock on my door and let's have that conversation
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 9: and best of all, let's take that journey together.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 3: Well there you go. Yeah, she told you. Until next time. Family,
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 3: keep showing up, keep doing the work, and never forget
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 3: you are not alone on this training, we'll be right
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 3: back here together.