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Transcript

REPLACE OR REPAIR · The Karen Kenney Show

• 0:01
  Karen Kenney: Hey you guys, welcome to the Karen Kenney show. Good morning. I'm actually recording this at like 830 in the morning, which I never, ever ever do. But
• 0:12
  I'm fresh out of the shower, and I gotta admit, I might be feeling a little tiny bit fresh today too. Just Just a smidge isn't tidy bit. So I want to dive right into this
• 0:24
  episode. And I think it's happening, the inspiration and the intuition to talk about this. I think the timing is perfect, S, T, o, t, J, spiritual team on the job, because
• 0:35
  we're starting to get like, look, people could listen to this show in July, for all I know at some point, but right now, we're getting close to the end of 2024, we have a
• 0:45
  few weeks left, and as we're moving into that, I think that this theme, this idea, this concept that I'm going to talk about today is going to be helpful as we move into
• 0:54
  the new year. So I think I'm going to call this sucker replace or repair, replace or repair, and of course, I got a little story to go along with it. So so my birthday is in
• 1:09
  October, right? And so you know how it is? Well, here in New Hampshire, I don't know how it is in other states, but you have to renew your registration during the month of
• 1:18
  your birthday, which I always think it's kind of funny, because it's guaranteed you're going to owe somebody money during your birthday month, which doesn't seem all
• 1:26
  that fun or fair, but it is what it is. So you have to get your conspex in it. You have to get your registration done. Okay, so I, I go in. This is, this is the, the where, the
• 1:40
  story begins is, I go in to get my inspection, stick up, and you're always like, crossing your fingers, right? So I've been going to a dealership like for the last
• 1:50
  20 some odd years. It's where I've always gone, and I've never given it two thoughts, because I'm like, I've always driven this brand, aka, I love this car. I love like,
• 2:02
  this guy. I love my service guy. He's one of my dear friends. I love, like, whatever, the whole thing. So, you know, when you're dealing with a dealership, though, you know
• 2:11
  they have all the different teams, right? You got the owner, and then you got like, the sales team, you got the customer reps over there, you got the service manager,
• 2:20
  then you have, like, the mechanics, the guys that are actually doing the work, and they're not the ones that you talk to. You talk to the person in between that, like the
• 2:29
  guy that's got to deliver the news of what the quote, unquote mechanic finds, or whatever. Okay, now I have to say this up front, because it's really important to me.
• 2:38
  I'm not saying that my place that I go to in particular, or all dealerships, right? I don't like to make big blanket statements about things, but just keep, keep this in
• 2:52
  mind, this concept. So I go in and there's a couple of things, and of course, like I'm sitting there thinking, Oh, because I bought my car there, I get free inspections. And
• 3:04
  I'm just thinking, Oh, this is great. I'm going to go in. I'm going to get the thing. There's no lights are on, on the dash, everything's good. I'm in and out of there
• 3:11
  half hour. Everything's going to be great. Yeah, no. Every single time that I go in, whether it's for an oil change, every 5000 miles or whatever, there's always something
• 3:24
  that needs to be and I'm doing air quotes replaced. Now, I had never thought of this before. So two things happen. Number one, I I'm like, okay, so they're basically saying
• 3:40
  that in order to pass inspection, my vehicle needs X, Y and Z. Okay, now my car's old, right? My car's like, 12, let me see to the My car's 14 years old. So I'm like, Okay, I
• 3:54
  know I'm probably on the horizon of needing a new one, but I'm not ready yet. And you're at that place where you're balancing and, like, double A man hands. I know somebody
• 4:04
  out there can relate to this, where you love your car. Your mileage might be getting up close to, like, you know, closer and closer to, like, 200,000 miles. Maybe you're at,
• 4:14
  like, one I'm like, around 158 160 right? And you're like, but I know that this car usually lasts forever, so you start to balance what's worth pouring into the car
• 4:25
  versus maybe getting a new car. But like, I hate having a car payment. I haven't had one in a long time, or you're doing the math, you're going back and forth. Like, how much
• 4:34
  do I want to keep pouring in or investing into this vehicle? So I'm doing all the mental gymnastics, right? And I'm like, Yeah, I'm not going to do this. And I leave
• 4:44
  now. I end up having a conversation. I go to visit my nephew and my great nephew and his and my nephew and his wife and my great nephew and my nephew is, like, wicked smart
• 4:54
  when it comes to just kind of like, like, I. How, like, let's say, like, mechanical things, like fixing things. Like, I always say that my nephew could probably sell, you
• 5:07
  know, is it? What's the old saying you could sell ice to somebody who lives in the North Pole, you know? So when I go and visit him and I tell him about my conundrum with the
• 5:17
  car, he's like, you know, this is bullshit. I can go get you a sticker right now. And I'm like, No, you don't have to do that. Like, I'm visiting. It's a Saturday. Like,
• 5:25
  Let's just hang out, whatever. And it must plant a seed in his head, because he starts to get kind of, like, annoyed about it. He's like, so, like, that was like, an hour
• 5:36
  before, and then all of a sudden, like, an hour and a half later, he's like, where are your keys? And I was like, what? He's like, where are your keys? I'm going to go get you
• 5:43
  a sticker right now. I'm like, You're, how are you going to get me a sticker? I'm like, doesn't it have to be my cause? Like, no, is your registration in the car? And I'm like,
• 5:50
  yeah. And like, he leaves, okay, I'm going to get to my point and how this applies to you. So stay with me. Stay with me. Because this isn't just about cause. This is I'm
• 5:59
  going to, I'm going to apply this spiritual principle to your life. Okay? So he goes, he's gone for like, 45 minutes an hour, comes back. He's got me a sticker. I'm like,
• 6:10
  what is happening right now? So he had a conversation with the guy at the where he went to get it. Get the stick. I'm also okay. But here's the thing he says to me
• 6:21
  when he comes back, and this has never, ever, ever occurred to me before, which I don't know why he said to me, did you ever notice how every time you go to a dealership
• 6:33
  for service, that they say that they need to, quote, unquote, replace things? Do you notice how they never offer to repair things. And literally, you guys, like, my
• 6:47
  brain, like, stopped for a second. I was a little bit dumbstruck. I was a little bit like, holy shit. I had never, ever thought about that before. And it's literally like a
• 7:00
  door in my mind, like, swung open. It was literally, like, like, my brain, like, like, expanded out, like my viewpoint, like, literally went, I'm doing this thing where
• 7:12
  my hands and pull them to the side, like, whoop, like, my my lens, my lens shifted way out. And I was like, whoa. And he's like, yeah,
• 7:24
  there's a reason why they do that. And so I really started to think about this. And when I came home and I talked to my sweetie about it, he said, Yeah. He's like, I have a
• 7:31
  friend. You know, my sweetie is a professional musician. He's like, I was playing a gig one time. He goes and the manager at the bar and I are friendly. And
• 7:39
  the manager started the guy who books him, you know, for music. And we started talking, and he goes, and I was telling him about how I just went in to get my conspected, and
• 7:48
  they found, like, all this stuff. And the guy literally said to him, you know, I used to be a service manager at such and such. And he's like, Oh, yeah. And he's like,
• 7:56
  Yeah. He goes, let me get let me let me guess. He goes, they get you in the door with the free inspection. And my sweetie is like, Yeah. He goes, Yeah. The reason why
• 8:04
  they do that is they know they're gonna they're gonna get you on the other side. He's like, so they're gonna bring you in, and then they're gonna say it's free, but
• 8:11
  then they're gonna find all this stuff that needs to be done. And he's like, the thing with dealerships is they're always gonna try to sell you pots, because that's how they
• 8:21
  make their money is on the pots and the labor. And I'm sitting there, and I'm like, again, my eyes, like, if you're watching this without, like, my eyes got really big.
• 8:29
  I was like, what the is happening right now, you know? So it got me to be thinking about the difference between dealerships, like, people who want to make a deal, people who
• 8:39
  are dealing with, you know, like we're gonna, we're gonna make a deal, you know, versus mechanics. Mechanics are there to repair things, and dealerships are there to
• 8:50
  kind of like, yeah, we need to replace this, and we'll get you a deal on this. We're gonna do this, but we gotta do this, right? And I started to think about how this
• 9:00
  applies to our relationships, to our consumerism and to our life, right? And how we can kind of take this concept and make it meaningful and helpful and applicable in our
• 9:13
  own lives. So there are so many things in our lives, and it might be relationships. It might be literally like things that you own. And as we're moving into the new year,
• 9:24
  right? Let's take a look at maybe the relationships, the habits, the ways of being, the actual physical items that we own. When we can start to ask ourselves this
• 9:36
  question, do we want to repair this thing. Let's use a relationship for an example. Maybe there's a relationship where you're hitting a few rough spots, right? Maybe
• 9:48
  things are getting a little bumpy or a little awkward, or you don't feel as connected, or something's happening where you're like, I don't know, right? It could
• 9:55
  be a friendship, it could be a partner, it could be a business relationship. Relationship, or whatever, right a relationship you have with your clients, or
• 10:03
  whatever it is, and you start to feel like, ah, like something starts to grade on you, or it doesn't feel as smooth and easy, it doesn't feel as natural, it doesn't feel
• 10:12
  like maybe it's a good fit anymore. And we have to start to ask ourselves, is this something that needs to be replaced? Like I'm done with this. The time has come. It's
• 10:24
  ended time to let this sucker go. Or is this something that is worth keeping, that is worth saving, that is worth working on? Is this something that I want to put in the
• 10:36
  time, the energy, the attention, the love, the resources in repairing it, because I think we're a little too quick these days to toss things when things get a little bumpy
• 10:49
  or a little uncomfortable, and I think a lot of times it's because we're afraid to maybe have to face our part in it. Maybe sometimes we don't want to have to grieve the ending
• 11:04
  of a thing. Sometimes we're not sure if the other person is capable of doing the repair work, or if they're even interested. Sometimes we're afraid to maybe be
• 11:15
  vulnerable and have to, like, bring up some things that might be a little uncomfortable. You're not quite sure how to how to do this, and you're already kind of like future
• 11:27
  casting and time traveling and saying, I know if I say this, they're going to do this. You're already writing a story in the future that's making you worried, anxious or
• 11:35
  afraid to speak your truth or to say anything. But you know, when you look at and I'm not this is not me judging anybody, right? Every every individual has to decide
• 11:44
  for themselves when the relationship is over, when it should end, if they should be a divorce, whether you're divorcing like a life partner, or whether you're divorcing
• 11:53
  like, like firing a client or ending a program, or whatever the thing is, everybody has to decide for themselves. But I think that these are some important questions to
• 12:03
  ask ourselves. Is like, am I somebody who just wants to kind of wheel and deal and then just say, Oh, fuck it. I'm just going to replace this person, right? I'm going to
• 12:12
  go out and I'm going to rebound and I'm just going to I just think that, you know, the problem isn't me, the problem is that other person. So I'm just going to replace it with
• 12:20
  somebody or something else. And we see this sometimes in, you know, in human behavior, right? I've seen it a lot in my friends who, when they first start to get sober, you
• 12:31
  know, they might let go of the the alcohol or the drug or whatever, but then they start, like, pounding sugar, or they start doing other kind of behaviors. So it's,
• 12:40
  they're just kind of like replacing one thing with another thing, you know what I mean? And again, that's not a judgment. I'm just saying things that I've observed over
• 12:46
  the years. So we have to get really honest with ourselves, and we have to take a little bit of an inventory and look around at our life. I mean, you don't have to. I should? I
• 12:56
  should I invite you to I invite myself to do it too. I'm doing this currently in my own life. I always like to do this at the end of my end of my year. I've done podcasts on
• 13:06
  this, like, what, what stays, what goes, you know, what do I want to keep? What do I want to let go of? What do I want to work on? Those kinds of things, what do I want to add
• 13:15
  in? And so this is kind of this question of asking ourselves, you know, again, what's worth saving, what's worth keeping, what's worth working on, and what has like reached
• 13:27
  its limit, like this thing just isn't going anywhere. And whether it's like, like I said, whether it's a job, whether it's a gig, whether it's a person, whether it's and
• 13:35
  I don't, I don't see that flippantly, like you just replace people. There's no really replacing people, although we like to think that we can. And this is the thing, know,
• 13:45
  that old saying, like, wherever you go, there you are. It's not like all of a sudden you can just insert, you know, Pete for Dave or Molly and Polly for Sue, right? It's not
• 13:56
  how that. I don't know why I chose those names.
• 14:01
  But, like, we can't just always replace things, but we have to ask ourselves, like, get wicked honest, right? Take, take, take a good look in the soul mirror, as I like to
• 14:12
  say, and decide what is worth repairing. And the same goes for items, right? We are such a fast culture for buying shit products, right? For buying cheap shit on Amazon or
• 14:25
  Walmart and just getting that quick fix, getting that dopamine hit, and then you're like, oh, it broke, and then, like, we toss it, I'm just gonna replace it. And we're not
• 14:33
  thinking about the process of what actually happens to that thing that we're buying and paying to have shipped, and how that affects the atmosphere, how that affects the planet
• 14:44
  and the environment, with all the gas and all the stuff that's pumped into the ozone and then that thing, that crap, crappy shit, piece of thing that you bought that then
• 14:52
  gets tossed into the landfill. I believe that sometimes there are things that it's really worth investing in that are going to last. You know, and I was going to do, I'm
• 15:01
  going to do, probably a whole podcast about this, about certain things that I've bought, that I've had for over 20 years, that are still going strong, but part of what helps
• 15:10
  things to continue to go on is how much we take care of them, how we handle them, how we place them. Do we clean them? Do we respect them? Do we have gratitude for them?
• 15:22
  Do we treat them? Do we treat them with respect and care and mindfulness? Of like, hey, you know, this was an investment. This isn't some cheap labor thing. I'm just going
• 15:31
  to toss it out the window after three weeks. You know what I mean? So we have, we are a society of capitalism and consumerism, and we just kind of love to get that instant
• 15:41
  need fix. You know, we're just like, ah, if it breaks, I'll just get a new one. And I'm like, Hey, how about we slow down and see if we can actually get a little glue, get a
• 15:50
  little duct tape, get a little polish on that thing, and see if we can't renew it, right? The whole recycle, reuse, renew, so we're not just tossing shit in the trash can
• 16:01
  that could be saved, that could be used. And that's why, like, whether you want to donate something or recycle it, I know here in New Hampshire, a lot of times people go to the
• 16:11
  dump, and at the dump, you can find all these treasures, because, as they say, one's man's trash is somebody else's treasure. So if you don't want it, maybe you can, and
• 16:19
  it's still like, I'm not saying just put crap on the curb, but if it's something that might be useful to somebody else, why not recycle it and reuse it somebody who has the
• 16:29
  skill set to actually repair it? You know what I'm saying? And I have so many stories about this happening. Like, my sweetie once found this incredible Gibson amp at the
• 16:39
  dump, like he rescued it. He's like, is that? He's like, I cannot believe I just found this amp at the dome. He was so excited. So, yeah, so this a little like, a
• 16:50
  little something for you to think, to think upon, to just spend a little time with, right understand and think about the relationships and the patterns that you see
• 17:00
  in yourself and others, where people are quick to just say, Ah, fuck it. I'm gonna replace it, versus taking the time to nurture it and nourish it, spend some time
• 17:09
  with it, to repair it. And this is especially important in our relationships, because relationships is where so much of our healing actually happens. You know,
• 17:20
  there's a line in A Course in Miracles that basically says, you know, you enter the kingdom of heaven two by two. And what that basically means is, like you don't enter it
• 17:29
  alone. We are all as Ram Dass says, just walking each other home. And look, we are human, which guarantees that we are going to screw up, we are going to mess up. We are
• 17:41
  going to fuck things up. We are a clumsy we are a clumsy group of people, aren't we? We are clumsy individuals, and we don't always mean it, you know? And of course, in
• 17:51
  miracles, we say people are either showing love or crying out for love, and sometimes in our crying out for love, right? Our crying out for help, we do things in a way
• 18:02
  that maybe we step on some toes, or it's not our our finest moment, or I always just like to say we were clumsy, and we didn't mean it, right? We stumbled, we made a mistake.
• 18:14
  You know, it's not like we're a bunch of sinners, but we are people who sometimes get caught up in our own fear, and we are not operating we are reacting out of out of
• 18:24
  fear, rather than responding out of love. And sometimes we just blow it, but a lot of times they're good people, and there's good foundations, and we don't want to just throw
• 18:36
  things away. We want to be able to learn how to sit with a little discomfort to learn how to talk about our feelings and how, Oh, I feel hurt by X, Y and Z, and I'm I know, and
• 18:52
  having conversations about things that maybe we'd rather not right. That's why there's so much ghosting and like all this terminology that has happened with the invent of these
• 19:03
  stupid freaking devices, right? There's, like, all of this stuff, because people don't know how to communicate. People don't know how to sit face to face with another
• 19:15
  human being and and share, right? This is how intimate intimacy happens. And I don't just mean sex. I mean like you're able to share what's within you, what you're
• 19:25
  feeling, allowing yourself to be seen and heard and to be vulnerable. And sometimes we're so afraid to do that right, fear of rejection, fear of whatever. So this is a
• 19:36
  season. This is a great season to think about what in my life is worth repairing, what in my life is worth saving and keeping and working on, versus what is no longer
• 19:49
  useful, and maybe it's time to replace it. Maybe you do need a new car. Maybe you do need a new gig. Maybe it's time to end that relationship. But let's be honest. This
• 20:00
  about it. And let's, like, look at it like a little more granularly, on, on, on the go, down to the micro and say, like, what's my participation in this? Have I been treating
• 20:11
  this thing, this relationship with the time, the energy, the attention, the love, the respect, right, the mindfulness that it deserves? Or is it time to truly replace it
• 20:23
  and to move on, and we can do this, like I said, with our habits, right? Like, oh, this habit, like a DSP, has been supporting me my whole life, right? It has been so,
• 20:34
  especially the last, like, 35 years, right? It has saved my ass. So the DSP is not something I'm ever going to give up. Probably I can't see it in this lifetime,
• 20:44
  right? But there are times when maybe I'm like, oh, I need to tweak this, or like, we can use that as the repair. And sometimes there might come a point where you're like,
• 20:53
  oh, yeah, that part of this no longer feels genuine or right, or like, I don't feel like I need that. I'm going to replace it with something else. And it's the same thing with
• 21:01
  habits. Maybe you were like a cold plunge person, and you're like, Okay, I don't want to do that anymore. Instead, I want to start to do some breath work, right? So as a
• 21:10
  breath coach and as a stretch coach, right? Like I see these things that I'm like, oh, this person, right? If you want to elevate, you know, your energy level, there's breath
• 21:20
  work for that. If you want to calm down, oh, there's breath work for that, right? So if you want to even out, well, there's breath for that, pranayama, right? There's
• 21:29
  breathing exercises for that. And it's the same thing with the body, right? Sometimes we think, oh, I need to do more. I need to add more and blah, blah, blah, I need to
• 21:37
  replace this with that, with something hot. I will know, sometimes we need to replace it with something actually a little more gentler, to work more on our mobility and
• 21:44
  our flexibility and our stretching, versus, like adding more this, this, this, right? So just take this use, whatever is useful. I hope it's been helpful in some way, and just
• 21:57
  stay with this concept, right? Do I want to replace or repair. And as far as like the mechanic versus the dealerships, you can take a look at that. I'd be fascinated to
• 22:08
  hear other people's points of views. And like I said, I keep my mind open. I'm not sitting here wagging my finger at anybody, or calling anybody out, or saying, Oh, this
• 22:18
  is like a scam, or whatever I can say, though, when I search back through my history, I have enough receipts over the years that I'm like, Yeah, I can barely
• 22:27
  remember. There's one time in an emergency when something was going on with the back door the hatch of my vehicle that I went in and the mechanic. Because the mechanic came
• 22:41
  out. I didn't the mechanic came out. I dealt directly with the mechanic, and they were like, Yeah, I can, I can fix this for you. I'll, I'll repair this for you. But then the
• 22:51
  service advisor says, but just be it was so funny. So the service advisor was there, but it wasn't my regular service advisor. I was just in a jam, and so I swung by there they
• 23:01
  came out. A mechanic looked really fast, and the mechanic said, Yeah, I can repair that for you. I'll just do this, this and this. And then the service advisor said, just keep
• 23:09
  in mind you're probably going to have to replace that. So take with that what you will. I thought it was fascinating. So you guys, thank you so much for listening and
• 23:19
  tuning in. If you're a loyal listener, I appreciate you. I love you. Thank you so much for being here and new people welcome. I'm so happy to have you here. If you want
• 23:28
  to find out more about what's going on, if you want to learn about my spiritual mentoring group that is the nest, you can go online to Karen kenney.com you can find
• 23:37
  everything there to join the nest. It's just Karen kenney.com/nest and if you want to get on my mailing list, you can find out about all the kinds of stuff that I offer. What
• 23:47
  I'm up to, fun, upcoming classes and workshops. And to also just get this, this podcast, delivered right into your inbox every Thursday morning, bright and early.
• 23:59
  Then just go to Karen kenney.com/sign,
• 24:02
  up, and I appreciate you guys so much. Thank you. For those of you who use the tip, ja, I really appreciate it. From your hot to mine, I receive it and look wherever you go out
• 24:12
  there you guys, may you may your energy, your presence, and whatever right May, May when you're in the presence of other people, animals, the environment, the planet, the
• 24:24
  place may you leave it better leave everybody, better including yourself, than how you first found them, wherever you go, may you be a blessing. Bye. Bye.