Latest / Why I Believe / Ann Bodie: The Prayer for Three Icicles

Transcript

Ann Bodie: The Prayer for Three Icicles · Why I Believe

• 0:01
  Hello and welcome back to Why I Believe.
• 0:03
  I am your host, Michelle Von Ruden.
• 0:05
  And today I have my dear friend, Anne Boddy with me.
• 0:08
  Anne, can you please introduce yourself?
• 0:11
  Certainly Michelle, I'm so glad to be here today.
• 0:14
  I am Ann Boddy.
• 0:16
  I live in South Carolina and I'm a retired, mostly retired nurse.
• 0:22
  That's what I've done most of my career, but I am also a mom and a grandma and a wife.
• 0:30
  Love it, love it.
• 0:31
  Yeah, we had the pleasure of knowing each other through the Maxwell Leadership Certified Team where we both sit on the President's Advisory Council.
• 0:37
  So it's been fun working with you over this last year.
• 0:41
  Yeah, thanks again so much for being here today.
• 0:44
  And yeah, I just love some of your stories that you have.
• 0:51
  And one of the ones that I wanted to talk about was when you were a little girl, your mom was expecting your baby brother.
• 0:59
  Mm-hmm.
• 0:59
  you asked for icicles.
• 1:01
  Yeah, I did.
• 1:04
  can you share that story with us?
• 1:06
  What was going on and why icicles?
• 1:11
  Looking back, I don't know why other than it was after Christmas break and he was born on January 15th, so it was cold.
• 1:22
  um And I just knew that if, I mean, I could see them hanging off the roof if there was a possibility of seeing them, because I had like four houses to go by as I was walking.
• 1:36
  So.
• 1:37
  um
• 1:38
  Again, I don't know exactly why I chose icicles, but I did.
• 1:43
  And when I didn't see those icicles the next morning, I was a little concerned.
• 1:51
  I thought maybe I missed them.
• 1:53
  So I looked the next morning and the next morning and they were not there.
• 1:58
  But,
• 1:59
  what was leading up to you asking for icicles?
• 2:06
  Mom was, I'm the oldest.
• 2:11
  They were married 12 years before I came along.
• 2:14
  I have a sister who's five years younger.
• 2:16
  So that makes mom for this pregnancy, 43.
• 2:19
  So we have been concerned about this pregnancy all along.
• 2:25
  Okay, so your mom was pregnant with your littlest brother?
• 2:29
  my well my only brother.
• 2:31
  I have a sister who's five years younger than and then our brother who um is 12 years young.
• 2:38
  So yeah.
• 2:40
  so your mom was pregnant and you were worried about her just because of the age because at that time that's considered definitely a geriatric pregnancy.
• 2:48
  Right.
• 2:49
  Being 12, of course, I didn't know that.
• 2:51
  But I knew enough and she didn't really hide anything from me.
• 2:58
  So of course, when she was upset, you know, of course I picked up on it and um all I knew to do was pray.
• 3:08
  And so that's why I prayed and just I needed a sign.
• 3:12
  I didn't know it was taken after Gideon at that point.
• 3:18
  I just thought a sign if I could just see those three icicles, I could just be assured that they would be okay, because that's my mama we were talking about.
• 3:33
  And then when I told her, of course that brought some concern for her too, but she as an adult and um being a Christian and
• 3:46
  in the Word for a long time, she knew that sometimes God doesn't say, yes, right away, He makes us wait.
• 3:54
  And there are other things that have to happen, whether it's somebody else sitting quite ready or we're not quite ready or just whatever His reason is, that's okay.
• 4:07
  But sometimes He just says wait, and that's what He did.
• 4:13
  Because in
• 4:15
  Within like two or three days of me talking to mama, um again, I live in South Carolina, so we don't get a lot of big snows and stuff.
• 4:26
  But occasionally back then, we got more than we do now.
• 4:31
  But we would get frequent ice storms, and we got one of those ice storms.
• 4:38
  So I got my three icicles plus a gazillion more.
• 4:44
  Yeah, well that's beautiful.
• 4:46
  Yeah, you know it's one of those things that you're just like, oh I prayed and this happened and my next door neighbor, um she works for the electric company and the power
• 5:03
  was starting to go out and I'm like uh-oh I prayed for this today.
• 5:10
  was still excited at the same time, oh but I don't think I knew, understood everything until I've looked back on it as an adult and saw how God has also in different
• 5:24
  circumstances said wait.
• 5:27
  Hmm.
• 5:30
  So after you saw the three icicles, what did that do for your faith?
• 5:33
  I know you told me that you were raised in a church loving, Jesus loving home, but what did that do when you had a prayer and then it came true?
• 5:43
  What did that do for your faith?
• 5:47
  Well, actually, I think I just really forgot about the whole experience.
• 5:54
  Life just went on.
• 5:56
  But in the last 10, well, I guess, you know, we would refer to it every once in a while, but God just brought it to mind probably in the last 10 years.
• 6:08
  You know, it's time for you to understand why I did that, Ann, and how you can look back now on other experiences in your life.
• 6:17
  And again, um trust me more, because I've been showing you, I answer your prayers, even though I ask you to wait, for a long time now.
• 6:31
  And you've been seeing that all along.
• 6:35
  Just look back and see.
• 6:38
  and just trust me from now on, better, more.
• 6:43
  Yeah, I think that's great.
• 6:44
  I think so many times something happens and we're thankful in the moment and then we kind of forget about it, right?
• 6:49
  Just like you said, it was a significant event and then it just kind of went to the wayside.
• 6:55
  Well, I mean, was 12.
• 6:57
  I was going to be a teenager and just regular life happened.
• 7:01
  I became a wife, a mom, and you know, that just sort of took, it just went to the back file of my brain computer.
• 7:11
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 7:14
  Oh man.
• 7:15
  And how's your brother today?
• 7:16
  So he was born by C-section.
• 7:19
  He was early.
• 7:20
  You know, how did that all work out?
• 7:21
  How are your mom and how's your brother?
• 7:24
  Well, mom has since passed.
• 7:26
  Let's see.
• 7:29
  She passed.
• 7:30
  One minute.
• 7:33
  in 09, so she lived quite a few more years and my brother's still living and just turned 55.
• 7:39
  This past January 15th.
• 7:41
  wow, Awesome.
• 7:45
  and he's doing good.
• 7:46
  He can be a little pasty sometimes still though.
• 7:50
  I think all brothers are like that.
• 7:52
  I have two of my own,
• 7:53
  Yep, yep.
• 7:54
  Not that I am ever pissed either.
• 7:59
  man.
• 8:01
  I think that's great.
• 8:02
  But I know, so we had a story of happiness, but I know you also have a story of sorrow around your son.
• 8:11
  I do, I do.
• 8:12
  I've gone through, but no parent wants to go through.
• 8:17
  And when we found our son dead.
• 8:25
  That was, I mean, my world was just turned upside down.
• 8:30
  And it wasn't like I wasn't around death.
• 8:32
  um As my parents, you know, they would take me to the funeral homes and we'd do the visits and all that stuff.
• 8:43
  they didn't shield me from it.
• 8:45
  um And then of course, I grew up and becoming a nurse, that was just another part of life.
• 8:52
  But...
• 8:56
  I had never had anybody close to me pass.
• 9:01
  Let's see, when my son actually was born, he was two.
• 9:06
  My grandfather died, but we weren't close, and all my other grandparents had passed before I was born.
• 9:12
  um Now my husband's father passed, I'm gonna get my nine eight.
• 9:23
  1998 and that was the first time I felt the grief hit me and because I went back to work I was in that fog.
• 9:33
  But again other than for the real experiencing of death and all that happens I just had not experienced it.
• 9:41
  But this one boy that gave me a rude awakening uh and it being my son I just was my world was just turned so upside down and
• 9:53
  trying to make sense of it all and all I could think about was if only, what if I, how did this happen?
• 10:04
  And God had already been taking care of me.
• 10:10
  I didn't realize it, how much he had carried me through till after.
• 10:16
  Yeah, and I think your story can help other people in your situation.
• 10:21
  Can you share a little bit more about how your son passed and what were some of the events leading up to that?
• 10:28
  um Well, we found him.
• 10:32
  He had type 1 diabetes.
• 10:36
  He was 22.
• 10:38
  He was a month before turning 23.
• 10:40
  He was not living at home anymore.
• 10:43
  um But we knew that he didn't go to work.
• 10:47
  So we went down there and checked on him and that's when we found him.
• 10:54
  Unfortunately, he had been mixing
• 10:57
  the type 1 diabetes with alcohol and drugs and um that's like gasoline to a fire for a diabetic.
• 11:09
  But there was nothing we could do.
• 11:14
  He was already past a resuscitation point and um it was just then getting family notified and getting his sister from school and stuff like that because he was the oldest.
• 11:27
  He was the oldest.
• 11:28
  I was gonna say how many and how many do you have total?
• 11:31
  Three
• 11:32
  Three, yeah.
• 11:34
  Our son who, like I said, born in 82, a daughter born in 87, and then our baby was born in 92.
• 11:43
  So yeah.
• 11:45
  So it was just crazy for all of us.
• 11:48
  But looking back, I can just, I mean, it was just amazing how upside down my world felt.
• 11:57
  But still how I was able to, we all were able to function with the things that had to be done.
• 12:08
  Contact the funeral home.
• 12:12
  But also people were coming to us and starting to help us too.
• 12:17
  um We live in a small community and word got around very quickly that what had happened.
• 12:27
  and they came to be with us.
• 12:31
  So that was helpful.
• 12:33
  And of course, one of our good friends was also working at their funeral home and she sort of guided us.
• 12:41
  But again, the things that you don't think you can handle, you're handling them and still dealing with this overwhelming, unknown world that you've just entered into.
• 12:57
  Yeah, I can't imagine any of that was easy for you.
• 13:00
  How did that test your faith or how did that strengthen your faith going through this?
• 13:04
  mean, I'm sure it's up to you.
• 13:06
  You you said you're like, why?
• 13:08
  Why?
• 13:08
  Why?
• 13:09
  Right?
• 13:09
  And I think any parent that loses a child, thankfully, I'm not one of them.
• 13:16
  I think anybody that loses someone close to them, not even a child, but like a close parent, I think it's a whole different process that you go through.
• 13:22
  And you have to question it, especially when we lose people young, why?
• 13:27
  And so how did that test and strengthen your faith going through that difficult time in your life?
• 13:34
  Well, um again, the previous family death was my husband's father.
• 13:41
  And that's when you sort of expect, even though when they're sudden, it's still, you you think they're gonna live a lot longer, but you know, they don't.
• 13:51
  But they're, again, that's the normal process we usually think of when someone dies.
• 13:58
  But when it's your child, um
• 14:03
  Again, I questioned um how did it happen?
• 14:09
  Why did it have to happen?
• 14:11
  What could I have done differently?
• 14:14
  What did I miss?
• 14:15
  um And those what ifs and if I could have lasted weeks.
• 14:26
  It wasn't a...
• 14:30
  It wasn't, my son died, I'm gonna trust God now.
• 14:34
  It wasn't that easy.
• 14:39
  I mean, you don't know exactly what to do.
• 14:44
  I'm sure I had been subconsciously praying, consciously praying, but not having walked that path before, I didn't know exactly what was ahead.
• 15:00
  You know, I've just, can we just go back God and relive the last 24 hours?
• 15:05
  There's a couple of things I want to change.
• 15:11
  Is this really real God?
• 15:13
  Is this really happening here?
• 15:15
  I didn't think this would ever happen.
• 15:18
  um When he was 16 and started driving, most parents think, oh goodness, I might get that call.
• 15:27
  They've been in a wreck and.
• 15:29
  You try to imagine then what it would be like for it to be the call that your child has died.
• 15:36
  But there's no way you can try to imagine because you know your child is still, if you wanted to, can reach out and touch him or call him on the phone.
• 15:45
  um But uh looking back, more so, because again, we were in shock because we found him suddenly and we were just shot into that.
• 15:59
  grief world.
• 16:00
  um It took about two or three weeks for the shock to be over.
• 16:07
  looking back, I began to see how God was carrying me, or Jesus was carrying me, and just helping me with everything that I needed.
• 16:20
  um I don't know when he put me down.
• 16:25
  know he hasn't left my side because grief, when you love deeply, you also grieve deeply.
• 16:37
  And it's been 20 and a half years since we found our son.
• 16:44
  And...
• 16:49
  This Christmas, it was like, can I just get an updated family portrait?
• 16:56
  I just need everybody in the family.
• 16:59
  I'm just tired of looking at these here, even though I very much appreciate them.
• 17:04
  And my son's picture's still not included.
• 17:07
  I just needed oh something to be updated.
• 17:10
  I wasn't asking for much, but updated.
• 17:14
  Because there are days, I know that it was for the first 10 years.
• 17:22
  The week before you were just planned and you could just relive the whole thing and then it got easier And then it got easier, but there's not a day that goes by I don't miss my
• 17:34
  son
• 17:36
  and just want to hug his neck.
• 17:41
  I tell you my love.
• 17:46
  But I just have to pray and trust if God, if Jesus says, okay, I know what you're feeling, I'm here with you.
• 17:57
  And if Jesus thinks it's important enough for Brandon to know that's something they need to know in heaven, he'll tell him.
• 18:04
  But if it's not, that's okay too.
• 18:06
  I just know Jesus has me and he's helping me through whatever grief.
• 18:12
  and however it hits me because some days it hits me harder and I just have to take some time and be away from life.
• 18:24
  Yeah, yeah, and I think it's, yeah, it's so important that you're taking care of yourself, you know, especially when the grief hits.
• 18:33
  you know, I think now might be a good time to do a public service announcement.
• 18:39
  oh Because we have all these kids that maybe don't want to listen to their mom and dad about the dangers of the things that they do.
• 18:46
  So if you could go back and tell Brehannan something right now about how alcohol and drugs affect your medicine for type 1 diabetes, what would you tell him?
• 18:53
  And what would you tell maybe the potential adults, young adults that are listening to this that are also in that same situation?
• 19:07
  stink.
• 19:11
  But I would recognize it as something he can't help.
• 19:20
  It's something that's got a hold of him and it's not like you can close the door on it and walk away.
• 19:27
  And offer him to take him to a rehab or whatever help he needed.
• 19:34
  Get him there faster and just hug him a whole lot more and let him know again.
• 19:40
  He was never alone.
• 19:43
  We were always right here.
• 19:47
  But he was trying to be protective of us and um wanting to keep that separate from when he was around us because he appreciated and loved us enough to try to separate it.
• 20:05
  But yeah, just reach out and let them know you're there.
• 20:11
  Find your resources, have your resources ready, because you just never know.
• 20:16
  They can hide it for the longest time.
• 20:21
  and just have it ready.
• 20:24
  And hopefully never get to use it.
• 20:27
  Never have to.
• 20:31
  But in case, it's just like you got to have that 911 number.
• 20:36
  You don't want to have to call it, but again, we have to know our resources.
• 20:45
  Well, thank you so much for sharing and being open and vulnerable with that.
• 20:48
  I know that's not an easy topic for you to talk about even after 20 years.
• 20:51
  I I can't imagine the grief that you go through every year around that time.
• 20:55
  So thank you for sharing your story.
• 20:59
  I am I am curious, how did his siblings take all of this?
• 21:06
  Because that's got to be a shock to the system, too, right?
• 21:08
  So.
• 21:12
  How did you s-
• 21:14
  This was, let's see, so this was September 12th.
• 21:17
  So they had just started, those ones started her senior year of high school and our baby had just started eighth grade.
• 21:25
  So.
• 21:28
  They, they're different personalities, so they express their emotions differently.
• 21:35
  One held it in more than the other who was more outward with her grief.
• 21:44
  They really appreciated having their friends around and they were ready to get on back to school after the, let's see, we.
• 21:56
  That was on a Monday, the funeral was on a Friday, and I believe they went back to school that Monday.
• 22:03
  wow.
• 22:07
  I don't think they stayed out any longer.
• 22:11
  Yeah.
• 22:13
  So
• 22:16
  We offered to let them stay out.
• 22:20
  have offered to.
• 22:21
  um
• 22:24
  You know, go to counseling if they needed it, just to talk.
• 22:30
  And they just dealt with it in their own way.
• 22:34
  Knowing that we were here, they needed to talk and we talk about it and him a lot and.
• 22:40
  um
• 22:43
  It's so neat to see our grandchildren and see our son in him too.
• 22:52
  Our son in our oldest grandson who is 15, even our granddaughter who's 12.
• 23:01
  And our four-year-old grandson.
• 23:03
  We can see bits and pieces.
• 23:06
  It was like he and the baby were...
• 23:12
  two peas from the same pod and it was like our middle child was the same plant but a different pod.
• 23:19
  hahahaha
• 23:22
  But, um yeah, it's...
• 23:28
  I appreciate being able to see, like, um I think I've seen Brandon and our oldest grandson walk in the same way.
• 23:40
  at times and you know just little glimpses and it's just it's just special.
• 23:47
  The grandkids are special anyway but when you can also see you know someone you love that you miss it's nice too.
• 23:56
  It's an added blessing God gives us.
• 23:59
  absolutely.
• 24:01
  So how do you walk with your faith day in and day out, knowing that you had your son taken from you in such a way that you couldn't control?
• 24:11
  So how does that impact your faith and what do you do today to keep that faith strong?
• 24:20
  I've learned, I've heard it a long time.
• 24:25
  You've got to trust and surrender.
• 24:28
  There's a hymn, trust and obey.
• 24:31
  I've sung it all my life.
• 24:33
  um And I didn't know what all that meant exactly growing up.
• 24:39
  And I didn't want to do that total surrender thing that it calls for whenever we sing that invitation song, I surrender all.
• 24:47
  I'm like, okay, I can sing that.
• 24:49
  m
• 24:51
  I didn't really mean it.
• 24:53
  And I've just had to come to a point where God has shown me He has been so faithful through
• 25:03
  um difficult times not giving me the answers that I wanted, giving me what was best and needed.
• 25:14
  um
• 25:18
  that I've learned to surrender and trust because I like to be in control and I'm learning even with this naturally highlighted hair that I still want to be in control and it's not
• 25:39
  a one and done.
• 25:40
  It's an everyday surrender to Jesus and just let him have everything from
• 25:49
  If I'm standing in the closet, can't figure out an outfit to wear, okay, Jesus.
• 25:55
  Boy, find something for me.
• 25:57
  I mean, it's not quite that literal, you know, I'm looking and I'm like, okay.
• 26:02
  And I'm thinking, why'd I never put this together when I bought these things?
• 26:07
  So, know, from just, he wants to be in every detail of our lives.
• 26:13
  And that's comforting too, that, you know.
• 26:18
  everything that if we just let him have that control and we just surrender he's not going to hurt us he's not going to put us in danger um
• 26:35
  Well, maybe I need to back that up.
• 26:42
  If he does, then I just have to, again, trust him because, again, back in the Bible, we have Paul and those in prison and stuff like that.
• 26:55
  This is temporary here.
• 26:58
  And our bodies are just in transition to our heavenly home, those that have accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior.
• 27:08
  And again, it's a day-to-day surrender.
• 27:10
  It's not a one-in-a-doin'.
• 27:12
  And I've learned to trust Him more and more.
• 27:15
  And He's just proved Himself so much that He can be trusted with the good, the bad, and the ugly.
• 27:26
  I just, you know, I just don't know how.
• 27:31
  would get through life without him, especially that grief time because there have been parents that I know of who have taken their lives because they couldn't take the grief of
• 27:45
  their child being gone.
• 27:50
  Yeah.
• 27:52
  So I have a verse on my phone.
• 27:55
  Okay, I gotta put it on.
• 27:57
  Proverbs 3, 5 through 7, and that's the verse I claim.
• 28:03
  Trust in the Lord with all my heart, try not to understand it my way.
• 28:09
  gosh, here I drew a blank.
• 28:13
  And all my ways acknowledge Him, and He will show me the path I need to take.
• 28:19
  And trust me, he hasn't written it on the wall.
• 28:22
  um But he is guiding and I can just be assured he is helping me and with me.
• 28:34
  Because I mean, I've just lived it.
• 28:38
  I've just lived it.
• 28:43
  Oh, and...
• 28:44
  who prayed for three icicles has been able to see that over and over repeatedly that I had to wait.
• 28:55
  And I got what I asked for, but he also blessed me with a lot more.
• 29:00
  Mm-hmm.
• 29:04
  Well, it's beautiful.
• 29:04
  I don't know if I can end that any better than you just did for us.
• 29:07
  So I want to thank you so much again for being here with us today, sharing your story, again, the vulnerability that it takes to come out and ah talk about losing a child.
• 29:17
  So thank you.
• 29:17
  I appreciate you, Ann.
• 29:19
  Well that's again, Jesus.
• 29:22
  I just have to praise Jesus for getting me through and taking care of me day by day.
• 29:31
  Well, God bless you.
• 29:32
  Thank you.
• 29:33
  Thank you for having me.
• 29:35
  Thank you for letting me share my Jesus.
• 29:37
  Anytime.