Latest / We Talk Back / Ep. 29 "Masculine Energy vs. Feminine Energy

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Ep. 29 "Masculine Energy vs. Feminine Energy · We Talk Back

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion to
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: talk back. Hey, welcome to a new episode of We
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Talk Back as your girl a j holiday. Hey, and
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: it's tim Am. I love you, and hey everybody, what's up.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: My name is Misha and I am a business owner.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: I am retired veteran from the Air Force. Thank you,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: thank you for your support. I'm a wife of a
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: three years, a mom of two. Um full town batty,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: part town government contract there, all right, I know that's
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: the right period. We need to talk, girl. What you
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: doing the type of government contract? And we're business? Maybe
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: I pushed papers this administration. That's it, Okay, we need
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: to talk. Thank you. I have a commercial furniture installation company.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: We definitely need to talk. Look at the networker happen? Yeah,
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: excellent it. So last week I did an episode of
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Brilliant Idiots. I went to New York. It was a
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: good time. Y'all check it out. But I got so
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: many dick pics in my d M. What's wrong with me?
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: You were stick though? Yeah, but that don't mean I
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: mean no, no, no, that's not appropriate. But still you
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: were stickt it girl. I still haven't showed my husband.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Yet I'm like, wait, I mean, you know, I ain't
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: like it, like it, but dog women do not like
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: unsolicited cock shots. Stop that ship, y'all. Nigg is a
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: hell aware though. I'm just always thinking like what you what? What?
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: What do you think the response is going to be like,
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: oh my god, I can't wait to see that. I
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: don't want to be I want to show you something,
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: but I don't want to be inappropriate. And then it
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: was a dick, Oh my god, they're inappropriate. I was
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: eating my bacon. It was breakfast. I got the side
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: of dick with my baker. I did not ask for that.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: What don't you like? Yes? And I'm trying to understand
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: why the fund do y'all think that sexual harassment only
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: happens on the job site, Like I could literally call
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: the police and file a claim against your ass because
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: you're sexually harassing me via Instagram? The fuck do you
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: think about sexual harassment when you get yeah, that's sexual harassment.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: I was trying to have breakfast. I don't want that
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: disturbing my soul. Were they big though? What do you
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: look like? That was? That was? It was kind of
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: pretty eating with big Dick's blood to show you right right,
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: maybe the first ones to pull it out. Maybe he
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: had the cock shots on the man girl. Maybe you
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: just having ready, like let me send me a cot
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: just have a nice one ready, ready in the camera, ready,
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: and I'd be like, nah, send me a new one.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: What happened on Earth this week? What happened Earth is
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: good him? It is well, we know the mob cancel culture.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: They're trying to cancel a baby. The baby. Now for
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: the comments that he made last week while performing what
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: was the festival? It was Rolling Loud, Yeah, the Rolling
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Loud Festival. My take on it. I guess everybody should
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: have seen what he said, right y'all saw the videos
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: and all that ship. My favorite part was when somebody
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: throw that fucking shoe bitch. I don't know who did
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: it better, him or George Bush, but I feel like
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: the baby is a street dude, but he just like
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: a college guy to like college could be trying him,
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: you know, street but still educated. I don't think he
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: went to college. And what he said was not educated
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: because it was just unnecessary, like it had nothing to
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: do with anything. And I think what people are mad
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: about is because you know, prior to talking about gay.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: He started talking about HIV. Shout out to anybody who
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: in here who don't have HIV. You got a million
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: people at a at a big, big as festival, and
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: exactly what's the percentage of you know, they say one
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: out of every such and such like there's gonna be
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: at least I'll say eight percent ten percent of the
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: people at that type of event that us and that size. Hey,
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know what it was in Miami. Okay, girl, girl,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure. All I know is like when I
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: heard it, I was actually sucking digging the parking lot
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: and I was like hanging up my face. What I
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: wasn't I just wanted to wasn't listening. I was sowhere
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: like this mid choke. I was offended. Okay, I'm all right.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: So so here's why people I've said, and some may
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: say that, uh t, I kind of add a little
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: bit of more. Yeah, but he really didn't. He was
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: just stating this thing. The thing is is that baby
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: doesn't have the the baby excuse me, doesn't have the
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: intellect even get himself out of this ship. Really, what
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: you need to be doing and shutting the funk up
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: and stop responding stop trying to troll the trolls. Like usually,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: cancel culture only last about three weeks. So if he
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: would just lay low, he wouldn't be losing all of
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: his um endorsements or whatever he has now and he
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: new shows he was supposed to do he's being canceled
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: for because of Yes, now you know you can't talk
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: about l g B t Q plus community. You can
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: say nigga, you can say holes, bitch whatever. Cracker ed
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: it back in blood shooting your mama, you can say
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: all that ship, but we already know you can't talk
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: about that community. And there's a second community I definitely
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: don't want to talk to you about because yeah, they're
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: probably run this ship. Don't say nothing that's gonna get
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: us called in the office. A god. That's why I'm
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: just looking at can you please turn your bag? And
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: then you work for the government. I just got my
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: security clearance three approved, so I'm like, hey, the next
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: time you go to get approve, they're gonna be like,
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: did you do a podcast with these two ratchets on?
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: We're talking back, I don't know, was sucking dick in
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: the parking lot. We just need your badge and are
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: you sure. Wait what I feel like what baby said
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: was a failed attempt to celebrate hetero sexuality. You know,
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: I really don't feel like he eights gave people. I mean,
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: maybe I'm wrong, but I just feel like what he
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: should have said is, men, if you got your dicks
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: up by a bad bitch in the parking lot, makes
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: a noise or something, right, instead of saying, celebrate, you know,
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: celebrating in a way that excluded people, don't exclude anybody.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: That's the problem. And look, and he was hating on
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: bitches who might have just had a bad day and
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: came up there. Yeah, it's hot outside, it's a festival.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I know it was a lot of stink coochies out there.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Let me spend y'all so much and then let me perform,
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: and then also exactly and then inher is my thing. Men,
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: If y'all don't know, y'all be the cause of stink pussy,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry me personally exactly Personally, I don't like sperming
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: my vagina like I like the act of it, like
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: the intimacy of it all. But I want you all
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: to come in the cup, set that shirt on the
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: side of the bed and come back in two days
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: and see what it smelled like. Oh man, good, wait wait,
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: wouldn't it be a snellow? Would it be like residue?
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: Would it be like it's gonna be? Yeah, come in
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: that cup because you listen, give your girl a day
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: offer to you if she started like pH get a
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: little give her some days off without sucking filling the pie. Goddamn,
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: don't pussy shame her. You've made her couchie steak. Now
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: you're talking about like that your soldiers came and marched
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: up in this Wellfucker that my ship felled like a
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: war zone. You gotta get honey pie, alad water, water
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: BV yogurt up that motherfucker. Hey, I got a couchie.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: Let me Let me give y'all a coochie hack for today. So,
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: if you are a type of person who have like
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: yeast infections, I don't want to say often, because it's
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: not natural for you to always be having YaST affection.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: But if you find yourself with east affection, a natural
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: remedy for east affection this off topic. You take a
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: clove of garlic, you stick a needle through it, and
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: you take the string off the end of your tampon
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: and wrap it around and then you take the You
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: don't stick the need on your couch. You take the
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: needle out, but you want to have the thread. The
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: string go through the clover garlic, and you stick the
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: garlic into the tampon applicator and you shoot it up
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: in your couchie. Do it at night, because as soon
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: as that garlic gets in your in your pussy, like
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: your mouth, you're gonna start tasting the garlic in your mouth.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: But the next morning, no east affection. This is a
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: natural cure. Vampires, you're gonna kill. Oh my gosh, hold on,
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: tam let's pay some bills. Let's get into today's topics.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: So we finished with the baby bit. You ask, but Ji,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: I wish you best get your life shut out seven
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: or four. I funk with the baby. You know, I'm
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: just disappointed in his choices. I hate cancel culture because
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: nobody's perfect, and I don't want to be canceled because
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: of a mistake. I hate your opinion, like your opinion
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: is okay, what do you say what your opinion is?
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Because but okay, we don't all have to agree. You
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: don't have to agree. But and that's okay, and that's
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: what freedom of speech is about. But you also have
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: to be prepared to suffer the consequences of your your words.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: Be responsible. Yeah. So, um, with Maisha being a married mother,
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: she's been married for eighteen years. Yeah, who talks aback,
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: we thought it would be a great idea that had
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: this particular conversation with her because we are wives. Um.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Of course we've all been in committed relationships at some
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: point in our lives, but we haven't been actually married yet, right,
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: So I've been married to the gang, that's it. Oh.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: When I was doing my hair over the weekend, she
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: was sharing with me about feminine energy and masculine energy
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: and how she her change in her approach in that
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: realm helped her relationship and I was like, well, damn,
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: that's you know interesting. I would love to hear more
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: about it. Would you like to come and talk with
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: our listeners about how that help your relationship and drop
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: some jewels because maybe that can help some of us,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: you know with ours, you know for me personally, Um,
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: I'm like from the mindfulness community, so like I believe
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: you believe in something, you can achieve it. If that
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: sounds cliche, but It's true. You create your own path,
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: and so in my higher self, I always see myself
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: being like you know, tops here and so in that,
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: you know, one of my roles is to be a wife.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: And it's like, okay, how can I do this better?
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: You know? And like I said, I've been married for
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: a very long time. We got married when I was
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: a kid old, you know. To be at the age
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: that I'm at now and to have you know, the
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: understanding and awareness that I have now that I didn't
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: have when I was twenty one, you know, it's like
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: giving that credit. And so part of that is seminine energy.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: And you know, like I said, personally speaking from my
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: own relationship, it has been huge to that revelation because, um,
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: my husband and I you know, he brought it to
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: my attention. He like, you know, I don't. It's like
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: a again with a nigga, Like you talk to me
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: like a dude. And I'm very feminine. You know. Anybody
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: who knows me knows that I am a girly girl.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: And so I'm like, I don't want to be again.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: You know, I know, you don't be married to a man.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: So it wasn't just that easy either, guys. It wasn't
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: just that simple conversation, but ultimately that's what was the
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: gist of it. Him bringing it to my awareness and
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: being able to communicate what he actually saw was an
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: issue with me. For me also being able to give
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: some aware this to and give credit to it, to say, oh, yeah,
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: I could just do better in this area. Mhm. And
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: so what did that consist of, Like, how did you
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: feel like you align energy? Well? Um, for me, it
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: goes back and um, I know I get this from
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: my mom, Like I'm to me. My perspective how I
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: have view myself in the world is that I'm a
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: very nice, very feminine woman. You know. Sometimes I guess
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: it could be taken as flirtations, but really it's not.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: You know, if I sing my words to everybody like hi,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: how are you? How is everybody? You know, I don't
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: give no pushback. I worked in customer service for a
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: lot of years and you know, and it's it is
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: a stereotype, but it can be true too. You know,
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: it's the angry black woman or we have an attitude
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: or whatever, and it's like those are the things we
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: kind of fight against because it makes us uncomfortable to
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: see us, to see us in the mirror. But it's
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: also things that are true, Like some of the prettiest
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: women have some the worst attitude. I don't want to
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: deal with him, you know, and I'm one of them.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: I'm not admitted from that um. But how I deal
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: with it, how I dealt with Like I said, it's
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: very new, but it really is just listening, you know,
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: and not um matching his energy because he is a
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: man and he, like I was telling Sammy this weekend,
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: you know, men are aggressive. Not to say he's going
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: to knock my head off in that kind of way,
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: but you know, he's more aggressive than our female energy
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: would be. And so it kind of goes back to
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: that story with your grandma being super nice to you know,
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: to granddaddy and he cuts the howd and you know,
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: got kids all over town and he's just like horrible.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: But Grandma Steel, you know, don't talk back. Grandma Steel
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: washed his underwear, Grandma Steel cook his food. And that
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: was my grandma. Grandma would but she didn't stay with
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: him no matter what. They stayed gather through it all.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: But she did my granddaddy up. And and this is
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: a part where I think it will get controversial because
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: then this is my opinion. You know, I'm not the standard,
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: but I feel like and us operated in our roles
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: of who we were whatever. Genday, we identify with identified
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: with being a female, so you know, operate in that role,
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: and my husband is a male, he operates in that role.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: That really is harmony. You know, it's like trying to
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: um soothe the beasts, you know, instead of he ra
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: ra and then I'm rah ray. It's like, are we
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: really trying to win, you know, individually or are we
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: trying to win for the relationship. So it's like, honestly,
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: it's like being a bigger person. It's saying, okay, okay, okay, bro,
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: you're mad right now, I'm not mad you're mad. But
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: it's also denying your triggers, you know, things that people
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: say that could just get you turned up. And it's
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: like really being selfless in that moment and just listening
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: and then taking a minute to respond and then just
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: seeing how that works. And I would say that has
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: worked for me. It has worked for me. Like you know,
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: even on the way back from talking to you, I
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: was met with a girl and so he was talking
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: to me and talking to me about talking about the show,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: and you know, you invited me on and so you know,
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: he was excited about it. But then it went up
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: to something personal between he and I, and I just
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: I just had to sit there and listen. And then
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: afterwards he was like, thank you so much for just
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: let me get it out. And it was like, you know,
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: like I had to deal with some uncomfortable stuff. So
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: the feelings did come later, but I appreciated that moment
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: when it could have just turned up to ten because
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: he was telling me how he felt versus me saying, yeah,
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: that's how you feel. But um, what you did this
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: to me too, you know, not really making a conversation
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: more about me, but giving form to me in the
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: black community, Um, this whole masculine feminine energy thing. A
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: lot of times black women and black men we are
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: acting out of trauma responses to how we grew up
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: and things we experienced as children. May maybe us, you know,
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: growing up in a home with a mother which we
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: would call a strong woman, right because she was able
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: to raise the children that she made with a man
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: who decided not to be there. But is that really
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: a strong woman is just a woman you know, and
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: a lot of women aren't even single parents. They're uh
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: they are. Um, you have a you have a man.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: Maybe you guys aren't together, but you're not necessarily a
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: single mom. You're just a mom that single. But um,
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: I don't associate masculinity with aggression. To me, like, masculinity
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: is more so like an active person, like somebody who's assertive.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: And I think a man who knows who he is
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: would have could appreciate a woman that's assertive, and you know,
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: and and and when when a man is assertive, it's
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: like boss energy, right. When a woman is assertive, it's
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: the other b it's bitch energy, right. So that's why
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: it kids kind of messy because I feel like when
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: somebody reaches their higher self, it's going to be a
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: person who has that masculine and feminine energy. And that's
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: why children need that masculine and feminine Like I feel
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: like women should be masculine and should have that feminine
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: energy at the same time. And I wanted to read
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: the definition of masculine energy, right, this is off should
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: be masculine. We don't say masculine as in strong. We'll
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: talk about yes. So let me this is why I'm
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: about to read the definition of masculine energy right. Masculine
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: energy is active and assertive. It knows where it's going
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: and it takes action to get there. Masculinity does not receive,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: but rather it goes forth. Masculine energy influences it's environ men,
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: not the other way around. Masculine energy is very clear
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: and its intentions. So you have a lot of men
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: like that won't They're not clearing their intentions. They don't
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: know where they're going, you know what I'm saying. They
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: aren't assertive, So would we associate them with feminine energy?
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: I would say this, So that's not feminine energy because
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: we know it's where we're going. If you said something
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: that was like huge, and that's that's healing and therapy.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: That's not to say that we all gated rights. You
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: know that we don't all bring years of trauma that
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: we all have experienced related people, you know, from coming
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: from broken homes, from homes with just single moms, like
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: moms having to have that duality of male and female
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: really really mostly male because like I grew up with
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: a single parent for a short while. My mom was
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: always angry, you know, like it's like do this, do
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: that that. It was never no love of it was
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: never feminine shown, it wasn't it wasn't that. Now, I
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: think we can have masculine energy where were doing when
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: we're handling business in the corporate center or whatever. But
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: when it comes to our relationships, like we can we
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: can be more softer to our significant others. But I
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: just I just hate like associating masculinity with men and
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: associating feminine energy with women because it's it's it's a
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: it's an aura, and I believe that both of them
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: are necessary for a person to reach their higher self.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: That's why, that's why I was telling Tam like Prince,
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: eventually he stopped going by any names or any titles.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: He was just the symbol because he mastered his feminine energy.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: You can even look at Michael Jackson and how he
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: Michael Jackson actually had a deep voice, but he spoke light.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: You know, he spoke light, and he kind of was
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: childlike because even with a man who's masculine, he turns
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: on that feminine energy for his children. So you know,
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: some of them, some of them are just mean people.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: They're gonna be mean to you. They're gonna be meaning
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: to the kids. But you have some men who could
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: be naturally aggressive all day long, but something sparks that feminine.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: If we want to associate feminine with soft, A man
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: can also have that feminine energy when it comes to
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: something he really, really really loves to drink. Could be
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: his child or his wife. So I really don't associate
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: like the maskine. This is like a thing right now
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: in the Black community, I think, and I think a
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: lot of it has targeted towards Black women. But I
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: definitely seeing myself where I can listen more right, but
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: men can also listen more so is listening associated with femininity?
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: I think, what what was happening right now? Like I said,
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: for me personally, and then this is my opinion on
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: what I see being portrayed in the community and on society.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: Is that for years, for years, whether you guys, I
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: can't remember or agree or not, but we've always heard
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: the rhetorate of a no good nigga like anna ship,
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: you know, like I'm fine one okay, Now you need
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: know when I say when I say to be king,
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: you know, okay, And that's the big period. People all right,
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: People aren't But it's like the world caters to a
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: woman what it really does. And so it's like we
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: take on all these myriads of like roles like we're
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: a mom, we're your wife, we're a counselor we're a friend,
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: we're a cousin with your sister, were your dick sucker
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: in the park? You know we are. We wear a
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: lot of heads and where I feel like men have
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: more of a past to do whatever. That's how we
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: portrayed them, not saying that's true, but because we wear
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: my hats, we're like, oh, if you know I do
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: all this, so you need to respect me everything I won't.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: I need to get it. And if you ain't doing that,
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: then it's like you fall into the stereotype of being
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: nothing else news and it's not. It's saying like, if
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: the relationship is not working, how feminine energy can work
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: is to examine. Okay, we no way, we know, we
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: already know what bird did. We know? Okay, we're sorry,
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: but how can you be better? Our relationship can go
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: wrong in so different ways, but it's only two people
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: in it. So it's like, don't look at what he's
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: done and even all his trauma, what brings what he
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: brings to the table for yourself singularly, how can I
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: be better as a feminine woman in relationships because even
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: like on your job, if you have to deal with
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: a guy, me personally, I used to have the worst
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: relationships that work because hell no, you're not going to
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: tell me what to do, like I know, period, Yes,
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: my drop my boss all day and I used to
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: have I struggled with that though. I struggled because you know,
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: I did my job. And just because I'm not going
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: to kiss your butt in the process, don't mean that
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: you know, and it's I don't know. I just I
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: know I handled it wrong. It could have did a
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: lot better, could have won my feminine energy instead of
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: trying to give them masculine energy like I could have used.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: I could have used it better. And that's just the
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: introspection of me manipulation. So you were saying, like it's
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: our superpower and we don't use it enough. We don't
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: it is our superpower, we don't use it enough. And um,
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: one example I was trying to give Like I said,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: this is new, but I've been thinking about this for
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: the last few weeks. But you'll see all the time
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: like Scarlett Johannesson. You know she plays oh who did
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: you play? Black widow somebody, and you know she'll seduce
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: the guy to like distract him. Right, but then what
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: what are we programmed to see right inter there? Like
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: she will possess basically, So it's like we we only
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: get to see feminine and even like Marilyn Monroe is
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: a great example, we only get to see feminine energy
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: portrayed um one way, but but small but on a
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: like sellular level, we get it. But it's it's always
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: like be strong, be independent, you know, bring yourself to
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: the table. You're Linney Littney of degrees and all this stuff.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: But it's like a man really don't care about all that.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: Men let me tell you see, oh boy, this is
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: all the bullshit that's going on the black community right now.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: Black American men don't care about it. That African mama
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: care about your background and who your family is and
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: what type of education you have. That Asian mama mama,
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: not son. I understand that, but I'm saying the families
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: other people in an African family, that son he cares
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: about those things because he has to take you home
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: to his parents. You see what I'm saying. It's only
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: in a black community where you have men saying that
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: they don't care about our degrees and all that stuff.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: That's because they're not acquiring them at the rate that
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: that black women are, so they're they're using that to
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: make it like a bad thing on our end. Like
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: I don't feel like women are leading with degrees and
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: I don't need a nig in all this ship because
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: I feel like if you're a woman, if you're if
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: you're a woman and you have never experienced a good man,
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: chances are you ain't ship because there's a lot of
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: good men out here. You probably passed them up, you know,
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: for the nigga you gotta chase. That's what we do.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: You pass some the niggas that want you for the
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: nigga you want. So try like nigga like you, it
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: would be so hard. Like so let's go back to
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: trauma responses. So in the black community, we all we
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: have black mama's daddy not in the home. So your
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: mom best thing is and even with her what I
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: heard saying, right, you see how she had to struggle
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: and things like that. So in your mind is like,
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: let me get this because this nigga could leave whenever
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: he feels like it. Let me make sure I'm straight,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: because he can leave whenever he feels like And that's
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: what they kind of instilled in us. Even even if
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: you have a mom that didn't actually say that you
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: saw what happened to her. So because that that now
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: trauma responses for you to make sure you got your
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: ship in the cut, just in case he decides to
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: leave you, or just in case you running a man
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: that's not willing to take care of you. What you
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: bring to the table and all this bullshit. Nobody's asking
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: any other women, any other ethnicities what they bring to
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: the table. It's only black men in America asking a
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: back black women what we bring to the table, like
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: you know. So then black women are like, I bring
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: the whole table, like you know, the attitude, the money,
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: the degree, all this ship. And the man's like, I
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: don't care nothing about that. You got basic bum ass
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: niggas who's saying they don't care about it. Nigga, you need,
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: you need helping your child support, So you do care
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: about how much I make? And I think because I think,
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: And it's like, and this is another thing too, that
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: I always not always, but I have said this before,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: but realizing it against you. It's accepting what people say
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: for what it is. You know, if you say it
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: might be. But like let's say me and you're right,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: we're in a relationship, but we're friends and you're like,
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: you know my share when you did this and made
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: me feel some kind of way. If you care about me,
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: you will accept what I say instead of saying, okay,
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: yeah that's true, but it's some bis because that is
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: hurtful too. And I also feel like that's not us
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: being soft and loving and caring and don't mean we're
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: weak because we've got nothing to prove to nobody. You know,
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: I'm not fighting anybody. I'm gonna shoot you, period. This
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: is what it is. I'm not fighting. No, I'm not
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: gonna do that, you know. But but I'm just saying
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: I don't want to shoot people. I don't. But I'm
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: just saying when it when it comes to like like
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: why would you gauge being tough right just to say,
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: oh I can whoop you or I can like cut
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: you out better. You know what I'm saying, Like it's
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: a tough factors, Like if I don't act like this
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: with him, I'm weak or you know, I ain't strong enough.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: Or if he don't act like this, he ain't he
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: ain't strong. So now you've got niggas I hate killing
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: at each other because how tough can you be? You know?
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: And they only can want to be tough to get us.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: So it's like I was telling to him, it's like
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: dating a pretty nigga, you know, like we were so tough.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: We really are, and it's okay to acknowledge that we
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: are very tough, but it's also okay to examine, like
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: do we have to be I don't know we have
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: to be. I don't want to be tough, but these
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: niggas will run over you sometimes if you don't. So
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: you just have to know who you're with. That's why
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: partner selection is so important. You know what I'm saying.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: You don't want to be that submissive push over to
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: just like this guy who the world doesn't respect, and
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: then he he gets to come home to you and
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: just control you because you're the only constant thing that
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: he can control. So she gotta be real, real careful.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: So it just has to be balanced, because women are
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: You can set yourself up for some botion mhm, and
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: lots of healing and lots of grace too, Like we
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: definitely have been traumatized and taught some things that we
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: can honestly say instant it wasn't really bad, but it
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: was an all the way productive for relationships either, Like
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: we were taught how to be single and how to
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: like date basically and that. And the thing is is
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: that women give men access to sex, right, the men
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: give us access to relationships and marriage because we already
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: know that before you get that pussy up, you running
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: all ship. As soon as you get that pussy up,
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: now you're chasing him, and like what you what we're doing?
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: Like all this you had all that control beforehand. That's
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: why you put them expectations on the table first for
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: busting that pussy over for real exactly. And you gotta
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: have those conversations, man, because that's your treasure, like it
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: really is. And the reality is and and yeah, I
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: might you know, this might go crazy. I hope it don't.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: But you got women like who are older who have
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: had kids, and you can tell they've had sex because
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: they have children. But thene it's like, you know, it's
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: okay to put it on the pedestal. It's okay to
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: still put on the pedestal, but it's like, what are
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: you also bringing to the relationship because I can smam
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: shiny like everybody got everybody got a penis. So it's
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: like what makes you set apart? And it's like and
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: and this's what me and Tom got into this weekend.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: I ain't know do I can't speak for me. But
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: when when you know everything's saying everything going to get
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: in the relationship, you're selling the honeymoon phase. And then
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: something happened, you get triggered, you know, you don't answer
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: or whatever, and then you start losing your ship. You understand,
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: and then it's like, now you have turned turned into
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: another person. You're not. Now you're strong, you're trying to
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: put a defense mechanism up and you and that's the
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: that's what you're speaking too earlier about healing, like healing
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: those traumas so you can give somebody your best self
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: and stay in that honeymoon phase, because that's how all
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: a person gets when they like cheat or you know,
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: find somebody else's that newness. Oh she's nice to me.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: You know, she don't fuss at me when I don't
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: do this. And you know, as soon as the one
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: he started checking that crazy, he'll go to thirstback he
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: coming home. Is like, being in love is just a
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: state of mind. It's nothing more, nothing less. It's a
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: state of mind, fall in and out. So when you're
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: with some my state of insanity. Girl, when you wear somebody,
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: y'all have to do things every single day to continuously
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: fall in love with each other every day because if
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: you're not falling in love, you're falling out of love,
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: you know, so you'll arguing and all this bullshit. Is like,
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: you know, I love no more. It's easy to fall
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: out of love. Maybe I'm just in a dark place
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: because I don't believe in being in love forever with nobody.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: That's what. That's what I'm saying. It's easy to fall
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: out of love. So you have to make sure you're
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: the two people really really want to be together. Every
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: day has to be loving, Like, yeah, y'all gonna have
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: like bumps in the road, but this has to be
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: the person that you're willing to put up with bullshit
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: from forever. That's just it. Because everybody is different and
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: everybody come with their ship, right, Yeah, that that has
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: to be the person that you are willing to deal with.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: They bullshit for ever and when you know, yeah and
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: we no longer, relationship is over. I find it hard
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: to pick one that well because you're probably not getting
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: everything you need and that one person you know, but
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: you're not gonna get everything you need and nobody. But
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: if you know that, then what are we What are
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: you saying if you know that you can't get everything
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: from you need out of one person, So get to
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: if that's what you choose to do and you're being
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: honest with people, Yeah, get too, should get three money man,
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: dick man ship lanmore man. I don't know nigga who
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: can fixtion in the house? Who listened to my feelings? Look,
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: Tammy is uh dwelling and her masculine energy if we
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: want to associate if we want to associate masculine energy
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: with with promiscuity. Bitch, I didn't say I was fucking
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: all of them. I heard a ladieship. I had a
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: lady on Instagram. I'm sure y'are not saying this lady.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: She was snapping, she was gone all the way off,
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: but she was like y'all bitches won't oh y'all. Man
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: to be single, I mean, just be with y'all. But
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: what if he come home and sake. He wanted to
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: have sakes from the standalia and he wanted to do
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: this right, you got tim so I found like she
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: was promoting Poligaby. You know, they're yeah, probably you know,
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: do whatever works for you. But that's like you said,
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: aj is having that conversation and you know what you
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: want and what you can handle, you know, Like I
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: saw a video like that, and she's basically like, do
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: you have time to be all the things that all
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: the other women was? Could you be the one woman
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: who provides all that ship? But why why? And a
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: man doesn't require a man. When a man doesn't like
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: thirst for pussy like that, that's when he's reaching out
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: itself when sex isn't driving him anymore. Like ice Cube
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: said him and his wife they have been married for
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: twenty five plus years, right, and he said he's not
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: overly sexual, Like he's not overly like like men who
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: just go out to get some new pussy all the time,
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: like it just takes a while for them to get
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: to the place where they can turn down some pussy.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: Is also a man hasn't arrived, but he but yeah,
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: but he's saying that's how he's been able to keep
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: his marriages because he wasn't not here chasing other bitches,
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Like, it's just like that
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: speaks to something else too, though, like something that can
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: be handled in therapy, honestly, because what are you looking
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: for even with women? What are you looking for when
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: you're just going out there just having sex with all
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: open through women, are you trying to like they're boosting
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: their ego up? That's all it is. But once you
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: once you relinquished some of that ego, because ego, a
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: healthy ego is a good thing, right, But once you
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: relinquish some of that ego, you could turn down pussy
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: and like you can really get to the bag. All
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: types of things can just start happening. Like, man, once
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: you start making your wife happier to the person you with,
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: like your fucking life just elevates. I've seen it happen
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: when they can start doing their wife, right, I've seen
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: it happen. I agree. I'm here to tell the story.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: And then you know another thing is like I cannot
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: stand like the strong Black woman title, I think black
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: women are the only people who have that self proclaimed
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: strong black woman. I had seen this video one time
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: on YouTube and a lot of people was pissed about that.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: It was an Indian. No, it was an Indian Indian
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: man and he was saying, how black women we like
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: the only women that have children for a bunch of
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: different men then struggle to take care of their children.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: And then when they are able to take care of
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: the children, then they are self proclaimed strong woman because
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: you struggled with children. Like that should really had me
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: feeling away. But at the same way, like that shoud
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: is really real because other other groups of people just
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: don't be out here like people be having a lot
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: of people just it just depends, right, So people do
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: be out here fucking having kids just like Black people do, right,
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: but the family structure structure is a little bit different.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: Like the family is gonna come together to take care
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: to kids. Child could go off and go to school
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: just and a third or whatever it may be. But
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: you're just a woman, and you know what, a super
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: strong black woman. That's what we are. There's a lot
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: of weak bitches out here, you hear me, There's a
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: lot of bitches, But Black women are the strongest creatures
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: on earth. I believe it. We mothered this entire earth. Okay,
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: this whole earth came from us. Just let die, no bitch,
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: I do not. I just feel like, man, it's the cycle.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: It is a vicious cycle for us. And I think
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: if we could get that aspect right, we could really
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: really win as black and black women and black man
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: because like, like, okay, we brought up China this weekend, right,
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: Tammy and Tammy talking about the suicide rates of women
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: because the Chinese women are more submissive, they aligned in
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: their families energy more. I was like, yeah, and they
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: also commit suicide more than anybody else too. But look
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: at their country though, look how much wealth they have.
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: Like people stick together and listen. I'm not saying that
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: you should stay in a relationship that's not healthy. But
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: Black people will leave. We're leavers, will not stay that
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: bread get their head and I'm definitely a lever and
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: take a while though, but I'm deaf. I will leave
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: right but you know that. So because you know that,
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: then you will. But it's like finding the ways to
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: work it out and decide I'm gonna stay with you.
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna stake this out through thinking thing like that's
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: the thing. I never leave these niggas be leaving me,
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: but they come back once they find out the grass greener.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: They always try to come back, and then they can't
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: because they'd be damaged. Man, it's a lot of damage.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: I think I've never dumped the nigger. I've never dumped.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: I've stayed through the bullshit, and then I always get
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: dumped and then they come back like I made a mistake.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: You sure the funk did? Because after that, I won't
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: come back. I'll fight for you. And I'd be like,
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: all right, if you sure you did, I'd be dramatical. Mother,
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: I'd be so dramatic. I mean, poll you haul truck.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: I packed that bitch by my fucking self. Dramatic, bitch,
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: I'm out. You gotta be a stayer like okay, So
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: have you ever seen this video? And it's really profound
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: to like kids and it was just white guy. I
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: think he might have been a pastor or something, but
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: he had a whole diverse soccer fieller kids, right, it was,
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: but it was predominant. It was more white kids there
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: and it was um some black kids as well. So
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: the concept was they stid on one single line all
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: at like to say, the gold line, and he was like,
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: step forward type of things. So step forward, if you
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: have a cell phone, you know, okay, step forward, if
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: both your parents are together, step forward. Everything that really
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: applies to a more the white community. And so you've
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: got these kids. They took the fund the line. They're
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: laughing it, you know, they ha ha ha. And then
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: you look back this black kids still let the goal line.
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: Who hasn't left, And it's like, we will get together
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: and procreate, we'll have sex, and we'll have children, which
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: is really the outcome of six And then we're leaving
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: these kids on the goal line because we can't get
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: it right, because we are traumatized, we can't communicate, we're fighting.
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: You know, nobody wants to admit to their own wrong
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: and see awareness, set their own stuff. And we're leaving
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: our kids at the goal line, guys. And that's really
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: the biggest issue. So people talk about all the time,
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: like how can we fix the things in the black community,
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: And I do believe that one of the big fixes
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: is black family and marriage. Like two people too, healthy
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: healed people get together and produce healthy, healed children or
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: just children that don't even have to heal. So people
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: always talk about like generational curses. Nah, it has to
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: be generational blessings going forward in the black The only
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: way that starts and starts with the man and the
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: woman healed people creating children, because we all know there's
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: black people and there's then there's niggas, right, and niggas
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: pro create way quicker than black people. Listen, I disagree
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: because a black person and so that's a hybrid. All right,
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: we could be high because you know, I like her.
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: Niggas who made it. I like hybrids, you know what
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: I'm saying. But you know what I'm saying, like people
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: who got the time to make kids like black people,
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: we at least try to set stuff up a little bit.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: You know what, have we ever seen at work that's
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: like ideals that is not even real to us? But
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: you can do everything. Man still end a single mom,
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: But you can be a mom that's single. You don't
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: have to be a single mom. You can pick a
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: man that you know, we'll raise your children, whether y'all
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: are together or not. Cept that's where partners selection comes in.
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: You want to get pregnant by the nigga who already
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: got to kids that he isn't taking. That's your responsibility.
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: You mismanaged your pussy. That is not that man's fault.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: It's your fault. That's true. And sometimes we run then off.
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: We run them off, man, And that's it's a hard right.
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: You just gotta be just you gotta get your life together.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: We have to its us. It's us taking it for
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: the team. Man. And I have two daughters and leave
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: them with my kids, they pop off and they'd be
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: like like me and then it turning like my mama,
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh no. So black women, we could
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: try to be a little bit more feminine, but feminine
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: to me, not push over. It's not. But you you
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: could be you can still just miss somebody femininely. And
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: if you and if you and if you say you can't,
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: that's now you're making a choice to not because you're
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: not being your feelings right. And then also if you
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: have to argue, you don't have to argue. You could
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: just improve of your arguments. Right. But so with this,
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: all right, let's talk about women in hip hop. So
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: a lot of this rap music is masculine, innerne mast
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: and we got girls like A J sent me this
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: video over the weekend and it was girls like your
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: niggas ain't no but some little holes to buzzed over.
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: Get the debrisa my ass for folks, My ass wide
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: open and eat the Debriata for phone. About that nigga
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: three five and he shirked me up right quick. Come on, yeah,
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: we talked about y'all like that too. Y'all giving up
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: sloping topy four three five? Come on, man, y'all niggs,
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: I always want to talk sheet about but y'all needs
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: out here. Eat a fossils as all. You're easy and
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: for the funk, my little bit niggas out he eat
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: as sucking man. Put a little extra twitterdolls on it,
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: a little sprinkle, nigga, open your head cheeks and licked
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: the debris. That motherfucker was I was. I was splashing
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: my pearls. I'm like, ain't a minute are we buying
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: these niggas ship to eat our ass out now? They
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: asking what we bring to the table, like we're some
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: grown as men. Nigger asked to eat if you're trying
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: to eat. But it was just like very masculine energy,
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: like I buy you a little three five. It was
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: not even talking to a man who act like that.
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: So is that masculine energy or just ignorant energy? A
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: little boy? If I could say that, I was like,
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: oh my goodness, I never talked to nobody that seek.
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: I mean, what are you talking to me like that?
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: I would be feeling like I need to turn the
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: neck on and the dress that comes to my ankles.
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: She said that was a hard out of a lot
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: of the energy. But I think it's a trauma response. Honestly,
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: we've been having years and years, in decades and decades
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: and centuries of just being played right. Because at one
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: point women ran of ship the lightest men want to
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: take it. There were women rulers, right, and we we
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: talked about this before about being submissive, Like being submissive
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: does not mean go sit in the corner and do
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: what this man says, because the Bible also says, if
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: we want to be biblical, a man is supposed to
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: consult with his wife. So y'all supposed to come counsel
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: with us, like we're the counselor for real, for real,
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: And if you think about like the medieval times and
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: the women really was running ship in the background, talking
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: with their man, letting them know how to do war,
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: letting them know how to handle whoever else. And then
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: they go out and they act like they came up
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: with the idea, like it was just an epiphany and
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: we just lit them, you know so, And that's a
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: beautiful exchange. Though, that's a beautiful exchange because then return
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: be to get a kingdom. Period. Exactly. We are the
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: I ain't gonna say only. I hate using the word
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: only because it's somebody out there that they did some
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: same stuff we don't did. But predominantly we are the
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: ones that fight against each other. You got black men
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: saying they down the down date women, but their MoMA's black.
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: You know we gottem has been set up for us
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: to be this way, you know that. But take it
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: all the way back to Willie Lynch. We can take
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: when they would take the black man and tie one
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: side of his arms to a horse and tie his
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: legs to another horse and then beat both horses. So
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: they try to run away and rip that man in
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: half in front of his woman. So how she gonna be,
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: She's gonna be like, I gotta be strong because you
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: can go any time, any time. He can be taken
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: away from me, and that ship has been in our
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: mind ever since, and it's just like a parent. We
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: need a paradigm shift for all of this to change.
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: The paradigm shift is the therapy. So a lot of people,
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: you know, you see people say a little funny shit
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: about you know what. Charlemagne pushes the Mental Health UM movement.
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: That's what the community needs. I really feel like that
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: is his purpose to push more black men to therapy,
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, because we need to be together. Yeah,
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: we need to heal, That's what I'm trying to say.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: We need to heal separately and then we need to
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: heal together. But conversations like this too are very profound
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: and healing because if you even if you don't agree,
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: you can at least you can, Yeah, you plant the seed,
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: because I mean, let's be honest, we can all go
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: to therapy. But if we don't take accountability for our
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: own actions, and we always constantly looking at somebody like,
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: well you did this, and that's why I did that.
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: Even if we go back to the programming and the
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: systematic racism that's but set against as we can blame
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: people all day, we have a lot of people to blame. Okay,
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: we know the problem. We know the problem. We've been
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: talked to problem for four hundred plus years. We know
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: the problem. What is the solution, right, The solution is
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: stopped being full of ship. The solution is stopped forfeitting
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: the game. Let's just let's just to pretend us as
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: a football game. Right, if you are refusing to understand
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: your opponent and who you playing against, you're essentially forfeit
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: in the game. You've got a lot of black people
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: that's just sitting back forefeitt in the game because the
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: white man and and this one did dad man nigga?
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: Come on? And that's really what black women are saying.
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: But on the other flip side of that, right, we
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: also know that empowering black women is also a form
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: of white supremacy, because who's gonna who's gonna help our men?
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Like you even see like
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: a high school and ship like that, Like girl, little
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: girls always have a car, and then they got some
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: nigga who got a car, come from a broken family
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: in the passenger seat. Right, So we empower the women,
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: and then we don't empower the little boys, and then
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: we call them bumbass niggas when they get older because
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: they work the warehouse warehouse job their whole fucking life,
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: while you told him to go get a job because
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: now you don't made a baby ticket your family. But
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: then you got the little girl family who allows her
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: to then go to college while they help her with
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: her child. So it's like it's kind of the balance
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: is all that fuck up? We gotta take care of
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: our little boys, have to take care our little girls,
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: and and fuck these grown people. It starts with the children. Yeah,
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: it's over. It's over for y'all. Girl. We need worry
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: about the kid, but we do, man. And at a
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: point in time where we can start saying that we
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: have to look at our children because we are the examples.
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: We aren't the examples like they're gonna do. They're gonna
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: emulate what they see. Yeah, because children are being raised
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: by the unraised. They're just being raised by people were raised.
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: We have no idea. I tell my kids all the time,
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: this is my first time with a ten year old.
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: I never had a ten year old before. I don't know.
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: So you can tell your mom if I'm messing it up.
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: For you like, I provide them my platform. My kids
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: speak very freely and we do that. That's another thing
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: say and not as I do. Our generation kind of
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: changing that. Our generation changed that a little bit. And
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: my mom I talked to her about how I withou
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: raise my kids and things. I don't have kids yet,
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: but I know there are some things I'll take from
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: how I was raised. But there are a lot of
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: things I'm not taking. What meant, I don't believe. I
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: don't believe in hitting little people. Little people have half
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: the life experiences of your big grown ass. If I
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: can't smack my nigga when he's sucking up, why would
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: I put my hand on this kid? You said something
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: they don't know, and you're gonna have to repeat yourself
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: a thousand times the same way you gotta repeat yourself
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: a thousand times to a big grown as man. So
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of things. M hmm. Maybe gonna get
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: a little pop pop every now. Yeah, pop pop is school.
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: But there's such a thing as a bully parenting bully. No, No,
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: I'm not doing and I don't want to kill my kid. Yeah,
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: and the touba for you were trying to murder somebody,
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: you don't want to pop pop is necessary because my
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: bad she had tried to hell out of me, Like
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: don't just the reason why I don't want to like
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: like take pop pop all the way out is because
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: I don't want to raise a little motherfucker's like mo
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: ship my fucking door mom. I don't think that's what happened.
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: I think if you're in goal is to make a
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: child cry. If that's really what you want to do,
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: you want to make them cry because oftentimes we beat
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: the assy ain't gonna have no change behavior. Try telling
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: your child, you know what, just really really calm and
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: you're feminine. G I'm really disappointed in you, period and
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: dropped the mic walk off? But how many time? Let
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: me tell you my daddy. My daddy beat me one
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: time in life, and he beat my sisters so he
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: wouldn't have to beat me by myself. But I was
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: so afraid of disappointing my daddy and he never yelled
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: at me, but not one time when I was younger.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: But as a teenager, like I remember, I still let
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: nigger car and I went to my boyfriend's house and
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: I sud run oversleep. I had to be the school
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: and that nigger had to be the work. And I
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: came home, he was like, give me my keys, I
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: should beat your ass. I couldn't believe it. I was
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: like six seventeen. I was like, oh my god, he's
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: been beating your ass already. You would have been home
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: before six o'clock in the morning, that's what. And look
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: I was. I still was going right. But them asked
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: what I made me remember. It was I don't think
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: you gotta because my daddy will suck me up. That
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: I was, but I was so scared. Nigga said I
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: should beat your ass. I couldn't believe it, Like, who me,
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: You're gonna me? Daddy mean your little girl? Imau you
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: up y'all late for school. I lay for where I
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: couldn't believe it, but I just closed my eyes and
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: I saw it all over again. If he would have
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: been tagging that but all them sixteen years and living,
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: you wouldn't even thought twice to go out the house.
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: He would have been right, there, don't be the main ones,
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: the ones that we have no leadway be the main
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: ones doing all the whole ship. What you talking about?
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: And I ain't doing it tomorrow? I can't. I can't
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: be that to them. Yeah, so this conversation today was great.
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: So we're gonna try to practice staying in our feminine
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: energy a little bit more. And I do like to
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: tell people I'm a grown ass man. Sometimes I don't
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: really mean it. Just be beautiful always. Submission guys, for
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: dumb bitch advice today. Okay, let's hear it all right,
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: hold on, so let's let's um, actually, let's take a break.
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: We're gonna get into our dumb bitch story, but let's
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: take a break and pay these mother fucking bills dumb
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: bitch stories because we've all been a dumb bitch at
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: least once or twice. Alright, So here's our dumb bitch
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: advice for today. She was she needs some advice from us, guys,
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: So here's what she sent. Uh. So, I've been in
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: a relationship for about seven months now. The man that
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: I'm with is a good guy. He's laid back, home body,
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: he has his head on straight, good job, supportive, hold
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: our house down, et cetera. This man literally drives to
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: me on his lunch break to bring me lunch instead
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: of enjoying it for himself. And I get a different
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: color roses every week. He's made it a routine at
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: this point. Pretty much what I want I get. One day,
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: during my nap, I said I wanted a funnel cake
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: talking in my sleep. He drove forty minutes, and when
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: I woke up, I had a funnel cake waiting on me.
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: It's literally the little things. However, there's a few things
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: about him that that completely turns me off. First off,
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: when we first met, he knew a lot about me
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: that he shouldn't have known. To this day, I still
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: don't know where he got his info. When he gets
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: upset about things, he doesn't communicate. He literally he literally
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: just stops talking period until he goes until he goes smoke,
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: then acts as though nothing has ever happened. He even
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: goes to me for four days one time to avoid
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: talking and texting. When I tell him we can't have sex,
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: or honestly, if I tell him no to anything or
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: to stop a certain behavior, he's goofy. He literally holds it,
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: folds his arm, stops one time, and pounds like a
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: two year old in time out. Yesterday, we had a disagreement.
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: I tried to express how I felt, and he laughed
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: in my face and walked away. Lastly, he's the best looking,
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: though I don't let his looks sway my decision. We
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: can't do missionaries in sex because I laugh at the
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: faces he makes. We got together two weeks after my divorce.
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: I originally planned to work on myself and be alone
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: for a while, but got into a relationship with him
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: because I kept hearing why not, why not? He's a
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: good man. Hold onto him before you lose him. You're
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: not gonna find someone else like him, and I like
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: the feeling I got from his affection after getting away
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: from an asshole like my ex husband and finding him
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: about a month into us talking and him asking three times,
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: I said why not. Now, I'm feeling like this was
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: a mistake. I don't know what to do today. I
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: told him I need my space to think and get
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: clarity on what it is that I truly want. And
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: I'm in a dilemma where I really have doubts about
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: this relationship but feel kind of stuck because I don't
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: want to give up a good man. I truly don't
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: know what to do right now. What are your thoughts?
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: I love your show, Give me some advice. God damn
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: all right, so the nigga ugly. I remember that part
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: because I was kind of at the end. He's very
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: um um thoughtful. He's very thoughtful. Um. He sucks at communication,
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: he avoids communication. He then laughs at you when you
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: tell him that's kind of abusive. Um to me that
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: the way he communicates would definitely outweigh the thoughtfulness. I
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: would not be able to deal with somebody when I
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: bring up something that about them that bothers me, like
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: we were talking about Misha, and you laugh or dismiss
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying or say I'm sensitive. That's some narcissistic behavior, right,
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: Or he could have avoidance issues because he's had trauma too.
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: And like you know, she said she was with divorced
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: with two kids, no divorce for two months before they met. Okay,
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: it wasn't some children in there at the beginning, that
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: he didn't take hand of kids. Well, you know, I
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: mean I don't really have any. I don't think I
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: have any on top of my hand, any good advice
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: because I feel like that said a whole lot about
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: both of them. You know, like if you you win
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: somebody that you don't not attracted to, I really don't
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: see how far that's gonna go. Let's just be honest,
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: like if you only gotta get funk from the backs
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: and listen, if you don't got listen, I really don't
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: care about looks, but I care about looks right now
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: because I don't got no kids. If I was like
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: out here like single mama looking for a man and
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: already got kids, like, I wouldn't be giving a funk
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: looks like, but I'm not about to having no little
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: goonies running around here. I just feel like, you got you?
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: Are you? Like you said she just got divorced or
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: whatever she wanted to work on her Still, I feel
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: like that's where the conversation stops for me, because it
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: like leave him alone and honestly and work on yourself,
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: because if you're in a relationship, let's be honest. Beauty face, Okay,
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: the older you get, you might not be looked like
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: that same twenty year only know how all these people are,
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: but beauty phasing. If you can't love somebody like if
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: he got shot in the face, you're definitely gonna hall
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: that on him because he already on attractive. So if
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: you know, I would say you should just cut your
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: losses right now while it's still early. She said, he
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: already shot in the face. That's what she said, And
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: it matters to her because if it didn't matter, she
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: wasn't address you. So it makes matter to you, So
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: don't settle, says. You know, he might be a nice
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: guy and keep him as a good friend. Baby, you'll
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: see him with one of your friends and they can
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: live their best life together. Or maybe in the future, y'all,
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: can you know, come back together once both of y'all
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: work on yourselves. But the most important thing is is
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: to do what you said out to do. And this
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: hell yourself from that last marriage, because one month out,
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: how are you even ready to start with somebody new
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: after one month after a divorce, you know? And then
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: I fear if he asked her to marry her, like
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: if he said, well you married me, I fear that
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: what happens next because then that's a whole bunch of
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: more because you might feel relationship yeah, or you know,
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: can you say no so I will just leave? And
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: you know, I know, I said we need to stay,
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: but it's out there too, yeah, because you're already so
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: when we are, when you're all head dating even if
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: you're a long term relationship, it's okay to leave, is okay? Right?
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: And at at that point you're doing a disservice to
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: yourself and him, you know. But sometimes you gotta get
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: in and out of relationships to really find what it
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: is that you with, what your likes and dislikes are.
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: But you definitely need to know thyself before you talk
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: with anybody else, because he already said. And it's hard
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: too because she's been a wife, i'm sure for a while,
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: so she's used to having that companionship constantly. So it's
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: like it's okay to nasis. So she said her ex
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: husband was an asshole. It sounds like this guy kind
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: of is displaying some asshole behavior and he could very
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: well be loved bumming you when he does go and
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: get those things that you like, you know what I'm saying.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: Like that sometimes can be a little form of manipulation,
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: so you can overlook the things that he falls short.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: But but I will say this too though, sorry a
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: j to interrupt you, but visualize with me for a second.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: If this man is not attractive, you think he might
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: know that too, right, And if y'all don't have missionary
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: he's aware of that too. So that's two things that
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: says that he's not that he might be like a five, right,
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: and maybe she's like a seven or eight. So he's
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: gonna try to keep her because he has just leveled up.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: You know, he supposed to have her anyway rights because
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: she laughing. God, you need to that's horrible. Managine getting
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: funk and be like, I'm sorry, keep going, boy, I'll
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: just think about missing and Seeley in that moment. Man, girl,
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: I love a nice looking face. Nigger, I cannot do it.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Let me let me get the nice looking man. Please,
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: I can't do it. I gotta be able to look
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: at you in the face. Dog, I like, I mean,
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: I don't mind a little ugly. You could be one ugly.
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: You can't be like ugly ugly, like, you can't be
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: too ugly. One ugly it's okayone's like so one ugly
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: is like where you have cute features but they just
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: ain't going together on your face. You can be ugly
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: with pearly white nice teeth, yes that I'm making cute, yes,
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: and a bit dimple's bitch. Oh yeah, you can be
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: ugly with some dimple be pretty teeth and then be like,
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: oh he could hear me if he turned to this,
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: can you be ugly and rich? What you mean? I
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: don't know what you're talking? Make you cute? And look
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: I didn't met. I didn't met a nigger who was
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: like richest hell but too ugly to date for me.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: I was like, I don't care how nice and how
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: much money he got. He is hideous. I can't do it.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: Don't add acne. On top of that, he was like
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: he looked his face looked like this, y'all, I'm sick
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: of you. I'm not sick. And my friend told me
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: he was ugly because she's like, he's so nice though,
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: and he'll treats you so good, but I ain't gonna lie.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: He kind of ugly. I'm like, I like kind of ugly.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: And then when I met him, I was like, bit,
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: you said kind of ugly. Look he looks so he
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: was a thousand they're not a millionaire. No, he was
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: a millionaire. Just yeah, very's like, uh, he did like
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: commercial real estate shoot, and he was wealthy, but he
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: was just baby m okay. So to our listener, I
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: don't know, baby, get the funk about it there. Just
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: try try again next lay. Just take the time off
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: that you know you need it in the first place,
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: because maybe you were just that vulnerable that you're dealing
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: with these things and just that little piece he's giving
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: you is a little bit. It's enough right now, but
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: if you were actually healed from your previous relationship, it
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: wouldn't be enough, wouldn't be right, and it managed to you,
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: so you'll be honest with yourself. So I really enjoyed
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: this episode, y'all. Thank you guys for having me. Yeah,
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: we do appreciate it. Well. So if you need somebody
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: to fix your credit, you can find me at four
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: U s C g RP dot com. I fixed credit
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: for our melonated community because that is in high demand
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: and we're learning about credit. You know, um do that.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: And also if you just want to be my friend,
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: you can follow me on Instagram at belove patres on
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: the score. Alright, girl, Look, since she she mentioned some
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: credit and financial literacy and all that ship, I know
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: you'll haven't seen me posting about these stock options, y'all.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: Niggas is playing y'all lacking, Like I saw some posts
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: people were talking about when they see somebody like with
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: the UM the graphs and they and they bio they
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 1: automatically block them, y'all blocking, y'all, motherfucking blessings. I want
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 1: you to teach me we are there. You got get
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: in the class. So y'all hit me up if you're interested.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: Y'all can d us d M on We Talked Back
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 1: Podcasts and give us that website one more time or
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: the number four all caps u SC like University of
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: South Carolina for usc g r P dot com for
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: US Consulting Group, Black Owned Black Ram for the Black community,
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: that black period, and we love that ship. You got
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: anything else with a people tam follow me at official
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: tam bam and I'm a j Holiday two point oh,
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: make sure you hit us up. Also on We Talked
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: Back podcast on Instagram A and we got a couple
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: of new episodes on YouTube UM that will be posting
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: soon some little visuals and we'll try to get you
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: guys more visuals soon. But anyway, we're getting the funk
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: up out of here. Thanks for having me again, guys,
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: beautiful black queens. Thank you bye, guys. Than