Latest / Outside the Box Education Podcast / 22 Years of Homeschooling: Was It Worth It? | #6 with Suzanne Lindsay

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22 Years of Homeschooling: Was It Worth It? | #6 with Suzanne Lindsay · Outside the Box Education Podcast

• Enhanced Final riverside podcast 6 suzanne & melissa support,'s studio esv2 35p bg 20p music 100p: Welcome to Outside the Box Education Podcast, where we believe education was never meant to be a one size fits all. I'm your host, Melissa Whitaker. Whether you're homeschooling, considering homeschooling, or simply looking for a better way to educate your children, you're in the right place. Together we'll explore how to homeschool with confidence, let go of the pressure to do it perfectly, and create an education that truly fits your family. So take a deep breath, think outside the box, and let's learn together. I am so excited to have Suzanne Lindsay with us today. Thank you so much for coming. I'm excited to get to know you better. I am happy to be here and it's good to meet you, Melissa. It's good to meet you. So we made we made a little connection that Suzanne knew my husband growing up. So it's kind of a small world that we're Yeah. Getting to see. I was his neighbor for twelve and a half years. Yeah, that's amazing. Well, he's grown up now. Yeah. Okay, awesome. Well, let's start. Tell me a little bit about yourself and your family and maybe how your homeschool journey started. Okay. Well, I am a mother of six kids, but homeschooling started before I had six kids. I my oldest, I I I homeschooled for 22 years, starting with my oldest down through my youngest. and I started because my oldest daughter, when she went into first grade, She just really struggled with reading. It was it was really hard on her. And she I would go to school. I would sit with her and the other kids that were struggling and I'd work with her, but she'd come home crying every day. She just could not. And and it was it was interesting because my mother had told me that there was a homeschooling convention that I ought to go to. Now you have to realize this was in 1992. Homeschool was not the thing. Yeah. Yeah, no. People did not homeschool. And I I just was like, whatever. So I went, got a little bit educated. And when my daughter knew I had gone, she just was begging me every day, please bring me home. Please, please bring me home. Let me homeschool. Let me homeschool. And that was the scariest thing I have ever done. Because there were no co-ops, there were no computers. There were no programs. There was nothing. It was you're a pioneer. Yeah. Yeah, I was. And it was figure it out on your own. And fortunately, there were homeschoolers at these conventions that had done it for years. And they were experienced. And so I would go to their classes and get ideas. Okay, this is what I can do. And there weren't a lot of Printed materials, programs. they were little booklets that people made to say, try this and do this. And it was very, very do-it-yourself. But anyway, after my daughter begged me, finally in January, so halfway through her her first grade year, I said, Okay, let's we'll I'll start when I get back. We were I was gonna be gone and I'll do it when we get back. Scariest thing I ever did, my second daughter was a kindergartner and I just said, Hey, you can join us if you want, or you can stay in school if you want. And she chose to join in. And I always made homeschool a choice. It was always a choice. And that was one of the huge factors in my favor because I it was never something I was forcing on them. They always chose it. Which made them more accountable to themselves and to me. Yes. Because it was their choice. It was their choice. so yeah, I was I started in January just winging it that first year and then it just gr it just went from there. I was pregnant with my fourth child at that time. So anyway, so I had a first grader, a kindergartner, a three year old and pregnant when I started. Busy, busy. You are But I have to tell you, Dave. When I went to the school to draw out my daughter to check her out, the teacher came down and just reamed me. She told me I was gonna ruin my daughter's life. And you know I have to tell you, there is a huge and I'm sure homeschool parents feel this way. I felt like I was taking on the whole responsibility of my children's success in life. If if I didn't succeed in being a good homeschool mom and my children didn't turn out wonderful, it was all on me. And that that it was all on me. It was big. I just have to say it was big. Yes. No, I fully agree with you. I would guess that almost all homeschool parents feel this weight, a heaviness, especially when you're starting. But I think there's moments throughout homeschooling where it's like, Okay, this feels really heavy. I think there is something really comforting to send a child to school and feel like you're sharing the obligation. And if somehow they're messed up, that maybe it's not solely your fault. It's a teacher's fault or a school's fault. But it is, it's really heavy to feel the responsibility that you're doing on on your own. And I think especially for you, because you don't have so many of the tools that are out there right now. Bless you for for being brave enough to to follow the need that your child was having. I I just honestly I think that's amazing. I couldn't have done it back then, I'm sure of it. Yeah. It it was it was a stretch, but I I know you have other questions you want to ask me. I'm just gonna say it all turned out great. Good, good. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. And What I think it does, especially when you trust you and you trust your child, it does. It turns out great. You just have to trust that. Yeah. So is there any certain book, probably not curriculum because you didn't have a lot of curriculum? Was there anything that you kind of followed a way of doing things from the beginning, or was it a little bit of a process of figuring it out as you went? No, I I was grateful for other families who'd gone before me. And I chose a format called thematic teaching. So I would choose a theme. So the first year, animals. That's perfect for a first grader and a kindergartner, a second and a first grader. Yeah. And so I would just ch I chose this theme animals, which helped me cover, okay, there was science. And then art would be they they would do artwork on whatever family of animals we were studying at the time. They would write. So when they were learning to write, they would write little papers, their little words in little second grade, first grade, about the animal they were studying. So it incorporated and then I would read to them about it and they would read about it. So we incorporated reading, writing, art, science, everything was in this theme that that I created that would help me move throughout the year. For math, I had something called Mort Mortenston Mass that I had purchased. Which was tiles. I don't know if they'll still exist, but it was a wonderful simple early math program. And then Saxon math. I don't know if that's still around, but that was the math I used from third grade on. Okay. I I'm familiar with Saxon math. I don't know about Mortensen, but it might very well be a thing as well. Yeah. So thematic teaching. And and it it over the years I found a a company called Barefoot Books. that I I looked them up and I'm so disappointed because they're not like they used to be but they would have whole themes of could I could do all the different so one year we focused on ancient history and then American history and modern history and and then we world cultures. It they had an art, history of art. So we do different years with that was our focus and they had they had a plethora of historical fiction books that were geared for younger readers. And and so I our homeschooling looked a lot like I read a lot to my children. A lot. And my children could lay on the floor and play Legos or Lincoln Logs or Tinker Toys or sit by me on my lap. You know, if it was a picture book they'd all pile on me. So but if it so if it was pictures, they'd pile on me. But if I'm teaching or or reading a novel or studying a certain topic, it was it was a lot of us our family in the family room. Everybody's just there listening. And so that was a it was a lot of it was a very comfortable setting. It was very, very hands-on. I had to I don't think this is the same anymore. I had to document and prove I taught five and a half hours a day. And then and I had to show what subjects I covered. I had to prove to the state every year what I was doing and get permission every year. Do you have to do that? I don't know if you have to do that anymore. There are programs where you can get funding and you prove what you're doing in order to get funding now. but for the most I depends on what state you live into. I imagine different states kind of follow different rules, but there's really not a ton of follow-up. There's testing that you can opt in or opt out of. I guess you could say opt out of, where I'm sure they want to know what's happening, but I have always opted out of it. So for the most part, really the only thing that they follow now is if I want to be a part of some sort of funding program where I get I get to take advantage of the tax dollars that we're spending on the school system. That is a wonderful thing for you because we had no such thing. No, I'm sure. A dollar came out of us. And it was it was it was a sacrifice, but it was awesome. Turned out I I I'm sick now because I had I had bookshelves of supplies and things and when I finished homeschooling I gave it all away. Think I wish I hadn't done that. I wish I'd a I wish I'd a held on to it as to have for my children now. Yeah. For them to use for their for their children. I smile because I homeschooled my first two and then I thought I was done and I got rid of all of my homeschool things thinking, okay, this is a part of my life I'm done with. And then here I am homeschooling again. So I'm smiling because I get that. I wish we would have held out with the things. Yeah. I have to say one of the hugest benefits that I feel like God put in my lap was the summer I had My fourth child. So I just finished a half of year off homeschool. There was a little newsletter that I had signed up for from this convention. And a woman was organizing a park day. And so through the summer, once a week, we could go meet at the park, and all these homeschool families could play. What I didn't know is she was fishing to find families to create a homeschool group. And I just happened to be one of the lucky families she picked. So There were four core families that she gathered together. And so when the next school year started, us four families would get together once a week and we would study something together as a group. That that was the hugest blessing in my children's lives, in my life, to have at least three other like-minded mothers and children. All working together. And the huge benefit, okay, I just have to say this the huge benefit of this homeschool group of three, four families that was big enough to fit in a home, right? We didn't have to go to a building and we could fit in our home. Is that my older children and the younger children all interacted? There was no age or grade segregation. Yes. And the beautiful thing was as I've watched my as I see my children as they grew up, they were kind. Older children were kind to younger children, and younger children felt confident with older children. There was no intimidation or what I see a lot in the schools. Plus, it gave my children the opportunity to respect and see different mothers' teaching styles. And because they were very different than me. So it gave my children a variety of mothers in their different teaching styles and it gave them the social outlet. That was one of the things that people really were so freaked out about when I was pulling my children out of school is they would be socially destroyed. And they were not. They were I I would say as my children, they all eventually at some point entered school at some point, either high school or charter schools or college. Okay. And and nobody ever could guess that they were homeschooled. There was no social weirdness or in strangeness about them. So you just have to say if if you can interact with other families, th that's not an issue. Socialization is and I just have to say I feel like my children are some of the kindest, most tolerant, most patient because they grew up with so many children that were o of all ages with all kinds of personalities. Yeah. I definitely think the The stigma is still alive that children who are homeschooled are going to be socially awkward. I think it's becoming a little less of a concern because people are starting to see a lot more homeschooled children. But I'm sure you had an intense amount of that because when I started homeschooling, what probably would have been 15 years ago, there were a lot of people who were concerned for me and and you did this well. much earlier than than I did. But yeah, yeah. Isn't it interesting? And and they socialize and they get along with other kids and you're there and the other mothers are there to help them learn how to engage with other children. And and if you're socializing, honestly it can be really beneficial to do it in at home, in a safer environment. Yeah. That's just my opinion. It is. And we had another so two days a week we were with other kids, other people. I we had a performing choir group that we did one day a week. And so my children performed all the time singing, going to rest homes and singing at Temple Square. So yeah. So two days a week they were with a bunch of kids and and other which was really helpful. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so we talked about this a little bit, but tell me if there's anything else you want to add on. What is what was your biggest hesitation about homeschooling when it first started? What were you especially worried about? The hesitation was that I was taking on my child's whole life. Yes. If I failed, if I didn't succeed, and my child okay, my whole motivation was I wanted to raise responsible, contributing, self-sufficient adults. I wanted him to be able to grow up and do and be contributing adults, not not just, hey, I need to live at home. one of the huge things I did, I I need to add, is I heavily incorporated life skills in our homeschooling. So our kids knew how to cook. And they were in charge because I ha was the teacher. I was it. Yeah. They took they took on the house cleaning. They took I think that's how how did I balance? How did I balance things? They they would do all the house chores. I taught them how to cook, lots of life skills that we worked on. And then we gardened together. We preserved food together. When they went, when they left to go to college, they knew how to take care of themselves and sew and cook. And be responsible. So I just life skills, I'm just gonna say that. Incorporate that in your homeschooling. Because that's more important than math, So that's essentially how you balanced all of the things that needed to happen in your home while also homeschooling all of your children. You involved your kids in the cleaning of the house or the gardening that needed to get done. What what are some of the mothering responsibilities that you had that you essentially had them do with you? I'm just trying to think. Well, and and it was so cute. I just have to say this. The other advantage of homeschooling is they could start as early as they wanted and get done as fast as they wanted. There were things that we did as a family, but they always had to do their own reading, their own writing, you know, their own math. ISIS you and they had chores. Chores. Whatever I whatever you want to do for a household chore. But those little kids, they would get up at five in the morning and start vacuuming so that they could get done and go play with their friends. And I'm like, whoa, no, no, no. I did not have a problem with motivating my children because it was their choice. They could get done as fast as they wanted. So they'd get up and get their house. I I we had to put a limit. Okay, no sooner than six o'clock, can you come in and vacuum? And I never had to get up. I never had to get a child up for school. They they were self motivated, they wanted to get done, they liked their free time. It's just letting them have agency and choice. They they they they they're very responsible kids. Hmm. So did was there anything that you did have to motivate your children to want to learn? Or were they because they were given the choice to go to public school or to home school, did they just take on that responsibility from a young age to motivate themselves? They did. They did. Wow. I I c I have to say that I had two children at some point want to dabble in public school. so I one went for a couple months and she's like, I can't come home. And the other one, he heard about recess. And he just everybody talked about recess. So we had to go go to school and experience recess. And again, after a month or so, he's like, I said, sorry, you have to finish the last two months of school because I don't want to do that. You've got to just finish it. So they they they knew they could go. Mm. And and then they was like, no, this is a lot better. A lot better at home. So I I I I didn't I know math was always the okay, they gotta get your math done. They didn't all love that one. But they they it all worked out and and they'd get it done and they'd get their schoolwork done and And they were done. Yeah. And free. How empowering that is for a child to feel like I'm in charge of my education and I get to decide where I go. Therefore, it's it's my decision. And and they chose to make those decisions. I think I think that's pretty incredible. Yeah. And I it was important. I wanted them to go on and go to college. They all did. They didn't all graduate. But I have two with master's degrees and one with a they they didn't all graduate college. Right, college. But high school they did. Yeah. Getting diplomas was tricky though. You have you know, I had to go the roundabout ways to get diplomas for my kids. I don't know how you do it. It happens now, but I my first child I had to send all of her work to a school back east and they would accredit it and they gave her a diploma. My second one actually did graduate from high school. third and fourth went to charter schools for high school. And my f my fifth and sixth actually went to UCAS and they graduated with their associates' degrees. And so they're my two that have now masters because they got so far ahead. But they they all have a a love of learning. They all are motivated, highly driven. I I have to say the my favorite thing about homeschool is I look back on it. I looked at it, I'm just like Our family is so close. We are so we are so my children are each other's best friends. They're really that you've formed. They're all adults. One is four the oldest is 40 now, the youngest is 26. And they're just so close. And close to us. There's just an there is just a bonding and a I mean you're you're they're raised together. They're each other's best friends. And they've stayed that they've it's just always stayed that way. And to see them be because it was their choice, they are highly motivated adults. Very, very successful in what they pursue and just good, capable. I'm just so grateful. I am so grateful that it worked out. I can look back and go, okay. Phew Yes. We all we all are waiting for that moment where we can where we can say Phew. That's amazing. Okay, so I have a question really quick for you that I'm curious about. You are so brave to take this fairly new concept on of homeschooling. Did you feel really confident in your education? specifically some of the more difficult subjects. You said that math your kids weren't super excited about. Were you really confident in your education that you felt like, I know how to teach you math? Or was that something that you I was very confident in math, but you have to realize I did not take my children through high school college courses. Yeah, yeah. So like I say, as as they got into junior high well, that's true. I did have two that I did take through high school. I went through high school. Well, I just think, have you seen the TV show Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? I haven't. Okay, there is a show called Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? And it's fifth grade questions on a game show. and I think about it so often when I'm homeschooling where I'm like, I don't think I'm smarter than a fifth grader. Some of the history questions, the science questions, the math questions, all of these things, and I think, my gosh, beyond maybe middle of elementary, there's certain concepts that I'm like, I don't remember learning this. Or maybe I learned it and I just don't remember the answers. So I just was curious if if you felt confident in your schooling. Because that means it's See, I was studying the subject with them, right? So when we were studying ancient history or American history or whatever, I didn't remember everything, but I was learning it with them. Okay. So and and I I did have a you said are you smart or fifth grader? I had a game that we played that was at different age levels and they had different cards for every subject that you could study. So they would answer their question, Are they first grade through through sixth? So that was funny. That made me think of that game. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well I'm just curious because some of the people that we've had on the podcast so far are very well educated or they learned elementary elementary education in in college and and I'm always just curious to know as I interview where you felt like your education was compared to teaching because when I started homeschooling I felt like maybe just maybe God was like, okay, you didn't really get it the first time, Melissa. Maybe we should do it again with your kids. So I'm always curious because I want the listeners to feel like it doesn't matter what their educational level is, quite often, and and I was shaking my head pointing. I don't know if you could if if the listeners could see that, but but you are spot on when you say you learn with the kids. It's so true. Yeah. Yeah. And and that's it was it was so enriching for my life. Mm, because again, I didn't have curriculums to to to just fall on the curriculum it but but to study and to learn these things myself right along with the kids. It it was a very fulfilling and enriching life. Those twenty-two years as I was teaching my children. So no, you you don't need a degree, you don't need anything like that. You just have to love to learn. And that was a huge thing. I wanted my kids to love to learn. And I and I incorporated most of math was games when they were young. It was games. Games for for geography. Games for history. I did a lot of games. I wanted it to be fun and interactive. It was important to me. I I learned to that different learning styles to help those that were more visual learners, auditory learners, kinesthetic learners. So just by incorporating different ways of learning, that was very helpful for me to learn that. Yeah I I remember learning that concept when my kids were in early elementary and that was that was the different styles of learning, that was pivotal for me, especially for one of my children, my oldest child. Yeah. Yeah. What advice do you have for someone new to homeschooling? Is there anything in particular you would say? I just I know computers are a big thing now, but I sure would engage with your kids as much as possible. I would not I would not lose the interaction. I would I would make sure that you invest time with your children. The time and and the interaction that you take advantage of interacting and and quality time. It's quality time and quantity time. That's the I think that's the hardest thing about ice that I've seen with homeschooling now is so much it is just on the screen. They just plug onto the school. Schooling and public schooling. That that's true. It's true. And so man, if you're gonna if you're gonna have your kids home, take advantage of them being home and be be engaged, be interactive, spend the time with them. I I tell you, your kids grow up and Gosh, I'm just so grateful for the relationships. But we had the opportunity to develop relationships that that are are forever, So that that's that's one thing I would I would say. Make it fun, participate, be engaged. Don't just don't just send them to their computer. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you talk about your relationships with your children and how you have a good relationship and and they have a good relationship with each other. Do you have any moments that you can think of or situations where you feel like that concept is really brought to home or or moments where you were like, my gosh, this is changing our relationships. Is there anything in particular that comes to mind? Okay, well, I just have to say, at the time Okay, I was a strict mom. I had to be. I had to make sure that they got their six and a half hours of school in. No, I I had a lot of responsibilities sitting on my shoulders. I have to say I can't say I was the perfect mom. I can't say I had the perfect relationship with my kids, that that I would get upset with them sometimes. Those are perfect. And so you need to know it wasn't like it was all just this, you know, because I did. I felt a lot of pressure. And so I did I did have high expectations on my children and and that. But I I I can't say I saw all the fruit, I say, until as as they've grown up and they're still so close. Seeing them be each other's best friends growing up, I I have to say I that was a beautiful thing to watch. Even though they fought with each other. kids too. Yeah. But they but they are each they were always each other's best friends. So I can't say there was a moment that I I just look back on it and I just say I had no idea. The the benefits and the blessings that would be a huge payoff. Huge payoff. I'm so glad you bring this up because I I I think listening to your story, it does sound a little bit like, my gosh, you just had this wonderful, beautiful experience and everything went so well. But would you agree with me that it was also very, very difficult? Yeah, yeah, that it was extremely a lot of pressure constantly. We had to spend a lot of time preparing lessons and organizing how am I gonna do this week and what am I gonna do? And there was a lot of I felt the pressure and the expectations the whole time. I never took it lightly. It was always it was always heavy. It controlled my life. Yes. It was my life. That my my children and homeschooling was my life. I wouldn't have had it any other way. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you used the word sacrifice early on, and I agree with you. I've kind of homeschooled in in two different sections. I homeschooled my older two, like I mentioned, and now I'm homeschooling my youngest. And the the reason some of the things that you were saying just really hit home for me where I feel like it's so important to mention that it's a sacrifice and it's difficult and it really does take over your life. When I homeschooled my first older two, it was really, really difficult. And yeah, I look back on it now, and I would not change it for the world. And the things that stand out to me is not how difficult it was, but how beautiful it was that if I could go back and do it a million times, I would do it the same way. As as ugly as some of the moments were and difficult and hard. And and there were tears on my side and my kids' side. I just Okay. So what do you love most about homeschooling? Well, I I think what I'd love most is like I say, what I saw come out of my children that they are hardworking, independent, capable adults who can if that's your goal, whatever you decide, I want this for my children. I just feel like I think it's important to get very clear on what is it I want to achieve in homeschooling my children. The why and and what is my why and what is my goal? Yeah. What is my objective? And always shooting towards that objective. And they they knew my objective and that I wanted them to to grow up and be successful in their lives. And and so that was what did I love about homeschooling? I loved I loved the the we were together. I loved the all the time we had together. I loved the unity that we felt. I loved I have to say I loved the freedom. Mm. Yes. We could go I did not like it when my kids started going to public school sometimes. No. Because that took my freedom. I loved that we could go on a vacation when we wanted. Mm-hmm. Life school did not control our life. We we we lived our life and got school in there. Yeah. I love that. I I I okay. I am so inspired by you. Honestly. I have some ideas now. Anyways, I'm really excited. You you really have been so amazing. Wow, you're sweet. It was an amazing journey. It was a hard, life consuming But very fulfilling. Yes. Yes. Well, thank you so much, Suzanne. You have just been a joy and and very inspiring and you made it through the whole thing. And I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. You're very kind. Yeah. And I'm proud of you. I think my hat is off to mothers who will take on the education of their children. That is who take it serious enough to invest their life in their children. Because the children I think there's no greater gift that you can give your children than your time and your life. And they may not appreciate it at the time sometimes, but it just pays off. It pays off. They know how much you love and that you've invested so much in their life. And then you get to feel the joy of seeing them grow up and just see them live their lives. Yeah, well said. Well said. Well thank you so much. Thank you, Melissa. Thank you for joining us today for this episode. If you would like to see more of this homeschool content, like and subscribe to our channel.