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SMNTY Classics: The Pushback Against the Pride Flag · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha. I'm opening to stuff
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I'll never told your predict if I heard you. And today,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: because we've got some vacations and scheduling and all that stuff,
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: we're bringing a classic early. And because it is the
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: end of Pride Month twenty twenty four, I wanted to
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: bring back one that I don't I normally wouldn't bring
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: back because it's so recent. I think it's about a
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: year ago. We did this one, but it was about
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: the pushback against the Pride flag, and because there's been
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: so much development around this, I thought I would bring
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: it back. We recently talked about how in Colorado, the
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: GOP here in the US publicly called for the Pride
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: flag burned. There's been several instances of Pride flags being
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: burned or destroyed. Some people have been arrested. We've got justice.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Alito's wife caught on tape talking about her disgust of
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: the Pride flag and how she would like her very
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: angry flag to fly. Also, I learned recently that in
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Denver there's a lawsuit where a parent is trying to
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: make it that it's required to fly to have the
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: straight Pride flag. And I looked it up. I'd never
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: seen it, and it's real sad. It's a sad flag.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: Like I can only imagine.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: It's like it looks like handcuffs and a jail cell.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: It is very just like stick figures with like an
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: angry face with a flag of zone the two.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: It's so obviously they're trying to get away from the rainbow.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: So it's black and white striped.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Yes, Sonny was gonna be no colors.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: No color. And then in the center is like the
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: gender symbols of men and women, but they're they're looped
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: so they look like handcuffs. It's it's not it doesn't
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: look good, it doesn't look fun. And you know, this
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: is coming on a time when a lot of places
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: are trying to ban the Pride flag. It's also coming
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: at a time when I'm going back to the place
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: I talked about in this episode where my uncle is
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: very against the Pride flag. So we'll see how that goes.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: But also just a lot of really conservative laws about
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: what can and can't be displayed in So I thought,
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: even though it's been I'm pretty sure less than a
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: year since we did this one, I'll bring it back.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: But I hope that people are having have had a
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: happy pride. I did get a Star Wars Pride flag
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: that I will hang up. I will why it on
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: the flagpole. But no, well I don't want to deal
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: with my uncle, as I discussed in this episode, but
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I will it will be displayed. But yes, I hope
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: everyone is doing well. And yeah, please enjoy this class episode. Hey,
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Steffan. Never
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: told you protection of iHeart radio. And today I'm just
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: going to share some personal stuff that was brought on
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: by new use item that I found, but also some
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: stuff going on in my life and it's kind of
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: frustrating around like acceptance of the queer community and LGBTQ
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: plus people and your family. So I hear you if
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: you don't want to hear it right now, but I so. So.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: There was this news story that said this place in
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Michigan had banned pride flags in public, and here's a
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: quote from CNN about it. The resolution brought by City
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: council member Mohammed Hassan says that the city council will
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: not provide special treatment to any group of people. City
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: council members shared that flying a Pride flag could potentially
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: lead to other quote radical or racist groups asking for
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: their flags to be flown. So there was that. And
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: then I'm sure you all have seen, but there's been
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of the flags at Stone
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Wall have been destroyed. So I was thinking about this,
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: but I wasn't, like, you know, going to talk about
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: it really. But then I was talking with my mom,
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: and we am very fortunate to have this beach house
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: that my grandparents built. You've been, Sabantha. It's very lovely, yes, yes,
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: but it shared amongst like a lot of people. It's
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: basically I mean, it's got to be fifteen plus people
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: have access to it. And I last two years ago.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Two years ago, we were there and I have two
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: friends who I won't say fell in love there, but
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: it was like kind of where their relationship started, their
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: romantic relationships started. They are queer. I've known these women
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: since middle school, high school, so we go every year.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: So I've known them for a very long time, and
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: I remember joking with them that I thought they were
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: the power couple before I even knew what was going
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: I was like the last one in our friend group
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: to find out because I didn't understand when one of
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: them told me, she was like I love her, and
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, me too. You know, friendship.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: That's just so on par with everything else in dating, romance,
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: love life. So yeah, absolutely.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: And then like the next day after she told me
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: that because I just got into a lift. This was
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: back in the days when I like went out to
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: clubs at night, and so I got in a lift.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: She said that, and then I get this text and
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: I was like, we really need to hang out tomorrow again.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, okay, well sure, but they
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: were like, we need to make you understand what we
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: were really right. So it's like an important place in
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: terms of their relationship. And they had their bachelorette party there.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: It was very cute, a lot of peach themed items
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: and it was very cute. So two years ago, there's
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: a flagpole out fronts and we flew the Pride flag
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: so they could take pictures pictures there. You know, I
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: didn't really think anything of it, which is perhaps saying
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: something I think I've said before. You know, I'm so
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: used to like my friend group in Atlanta, and like
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: I don't encounter homophobia like in person. A lot anymore
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: like online, yes, in the news, yes, but like in person.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: And so all my friends were sleeping. I was outside alone,
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: just relaxing, and one of my relatives came up to
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: me and he was just acting kind of funny. He
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: was acting kind of weird and he was like, well,
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: where is everybody else? And I sat out there inside
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: and he was like, what are you doing, like just relaxing,
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: you know whatever. The next day, seven am, I had
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: a phone call from my mom that's like, you have
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: to take the flag down. And I was so confused,
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: and I was kind disoriented because it was seven am,
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: and I remember kind of hedging about it where it
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: was like, it's not like causing any harms, you know,
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: this is our property and all this stuff, And it
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: was clear my mom was not she was being asked
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: by someone else, and I just didn't have the heart
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: to like tell my friends to take it down, so
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: we left it up. I didn't say anything about it,
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: and it was just strange because then I was looking
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: back over that in right I had with the relative,
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: and he was it was kind of gross because he
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: was like it felt very like, oh, like he thought
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: maybe they were all inside having sex or something or
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: like you know that kind of sexualization and or he
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: was like angry that now, oh then that attracted to
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: me this old dude, which is gross. And again this
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: is like, maybe that's not what it was. But he
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: didn't even know what the flag meant. He had to
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: look it up. He had to look it up and
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: then call another relative who then called my mom. And
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: so that reminded me of your story with your family, Samantha,
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: where you were like do you even know when pride is?
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: Like he didn't even know what this flag was, right,
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: he was just like, I gotta look it up. Okay, no,
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: this has to be angry. Yes, yes, And it was
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: so sad because, like I said, it's it is it
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: might for my friend, it's an important place, and for
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: me it is who I'm also queer. So it was
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: just like an uncomfortable situation. And then so I try
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: to keep it a secret, which I don't know if
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: it is the good thing or the bad thing, I
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: don't know, but I tried to like preserve I can
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: handle this. I can handle my family, and I'm not
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: going to put it on you. So I try not
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: to tell them anything. The next year, we came and
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: we put up a Star Wars flag because we're that cool,
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: and it was like over wan Kenobi had come out
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: like we were living our best Star Wars life, and
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: we got like a lot of people came over and said, oh,
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: basically the flag. I'm glad it's a different flag than
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: the other flag. Everyone was cool with the Star Wars flag.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: Wait, people actually came over to tell you that, to
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: tell you that they're glad this's got the other flag.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: One one person did, and then someone else came over
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: and like, I interpreted what she said as she did
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: not care because my uncle it was my uncle also
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: called the neighbors and asked and they're like, no, we
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: don't care. So that's how I interpreted it. But now
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: I'm not so sure. That's I don't know. But people
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: came up and so the truth had to come out
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: with my friends, where I was like, yes, they were
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: real mad about it.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: I hate it. So for a full year they didn't know. Yes,
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: your friends didn't.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Know, yeah, because I didn't want them to feel like
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: how I was feeling after it.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: And it also says they didn't listen to the show
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: because I remember we talked about this immediately after how
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: dare you.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well they do. Actually one of them does
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: listen to a lot of it, so yeah, I know.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: Anyway.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: Anyway, anyway, so I had kept it a secret, and
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: then when it came out, I wasn't a big deal.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: But then I was kind of caught between this desire
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: to like, let's piss this old guy off as much
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: as we can, let's hang up all the flags, and
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: my poor momo was caught in between. So all of that.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: This other day, my mom called me and it came up,
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: and she said, they've requested you only fly the American
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: flag and no other flag, which I don't care, Like honestly,
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: I don't care. And I could like hang up all
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: of the flags alongside, like there's a lot of things
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: I could do, but it was just kind of like,
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: oh my god, it's been two years, like chill out,
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: just just just stop with this.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: Feel like hearing this from the beginning of the first
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: incident to this it shows the level of media influence,
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: especially conservative media influence, and where they're getting their news
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: and how they're dealing with it. So their following suit
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: to the conservative gas lighting of the queer individuals in general,
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: which wasn't not happening as much five years ago. It
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: started happening within the Trump administration, and it got bigger
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: and bigger and bigger, and then went from trance to
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: obviously all queer because we knew that was going to
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: happen now doing all the things. But yeah, it almost
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: is like the perfect timelinfe predictor of what's happening in
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: your family.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it does feel like it's backtracking along with what
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: we're seeing in the news because originally there's like three
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: main family members involved in this, and originally it was
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: like two to one on my side, with my mom
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: obviously being on my side. Now it's two to one
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: against me. Although I mean he didn't say any thing specific,
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: but I feel like that's a pretty clear message.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: That's especially there's like we have to tell Annie that
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: is more than pointed yes yes.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: And it was just so infuriating because and I'm sure
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: a lot of listeners can relate to this. I know
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: any listener who's been to a family gathering where you
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: don't agree politically can relate to this. But it's so
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: annoying because there's there is a part of me that's like, no,
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: just to do what I want. And there's another part
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: of me that's like, is that the fight I want
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: to have, is that the fight I want to pull
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: my mom into because I mean, one of them lives
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: like right there, so it would be I would be
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: dealing with it, which is not what I want on
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: a vagation, right, Yeah. But it makes me feel like
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: then I'm not standing up for stuff. But at the
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: same time, I'm like, we all have to choose these battles.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: But that's why I might Maybe I'll compromise and I'll
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: hang a bunch of them about and not put it
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: on just like.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: Right, put it on. Get these little little like, uh,
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: decorations that go on tables, you know, while people have
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: flags on tables. Yeah, put it all over your little posts.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: You have a little porch a little inside, just put
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: it there. Yeah.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: And it's also like it's just frustrated because you know,
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: I don't want to pull my friends into it. I
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: don't want them to get dragged into my family drama,
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: even though I'm sure they have all dealt with it too,
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: So I don't know. I was just like reading this
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: news and then my mom said Dad, and I was like, jeez,
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: it really has become a lot, a lot worse. I
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: do agree with you, but I'm gonna come up with something.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm gonna do.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: I'm excited to hear what you come up with.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I will. And it is it's like the
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: fact that he didn't even know what it was. That's
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: oh my god. All right, Well i'll report back, I'm
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: sure because we're going in July. Yes, well, it's a
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: says I'm really annoyed too, because they were like, that's
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: what your grandfather would have wanted, only the American flag,
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: And it's like, okay, bring him into this.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: In what the American flag is today, it's almost more
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: fearful for me to see than anything else. It almost
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: translates into the opposite of what a pride flag would be. Right.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: It does feel like the people who would proudly be
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: flying it, and I'm not saying you can't, but it
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: feels like a lot of the people who are are
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: probably people I won't agree with little lot of right,
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: h yeah, which is a really unfortunate, unfortunate thing. But yeah, yeah,
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: so we'll see what happens. I will come back listeners
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: if you have any thoughts suggestions on how to deal
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: with this are ways I can like make a statement,
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: but not fly a flag our pole. Please write in.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: You can emailus at Sepania mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: You can find us on Twitter at Momstup podcast, or
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: on Instagram and TikTok at stuff I've Never Told You.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: We're also on YouTube. We also have a tea public store. Yes,
• 17:24
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• 17:26
  Speaker 1: it at stuff you Should Read books dot com. Also
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: on audible. Thanks as always to our super producer Christina,
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: our executive producer Maya, and our contributor Joey.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Thank y'all, yes, and.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: Thanks to you for listening. Stuff I Never Told You
• 17:40
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