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Big Adult Energy: Teach Them Now · Let's Get Naked

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Hey everyone, I'm Anne.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to another mini episode of the Let's Get Naked podcast.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is entitled Teach Them Now.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: Here's a wild thought.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: What if we taught our kids the things we're spending our 30s and 40s trying to repair?
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: What if we taught them how to use their voice before the world teaches them to swallow it?
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because let's be honest, most of us are out here learning boundaries the hard way.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: Learning how to say no without apologizing, learning that overexplaining is a trauma response.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: Learning that people pleasing is self-abandonment dressed up as kindness.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: We are literally unfucking decades of conditioning.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: So why would we not interrupt that cycle?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Teach your kids they are allowed to say no.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: Teach them that discomfort does not equal disrespect.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: Teach them that I don't like that is a complete sentence.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Teach them that their body, their time, their energy are theirs.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Full stop.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: Stop rewarding compliance over confidence.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: Stop praising easy when what you really mean is quiet.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: Stop calling strong-willed girls difficult and strong-willed boys leaders.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: If we want a different generation, we have to parent different differently.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Give them language, give them boundaries, give them practice, let them disagree respectfully, let them opt out.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: Let them see you say no without guilt.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: Because here's the truth every boundary we don't teach them now becomes a therapy bill later.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: And every voice we help them strengthen early becomes a force multiplier in their life.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: We don't need tougher kids, we need clearer ones.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: Teach them now so they don't spend half their life trying to come back to themselves later.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: That's the assignment.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm here today with Casey, who has agreed to come chat with me on the minis.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: So welcome, Casey.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate you being here.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: So teach them now.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: What a fun concept for things.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: I think part of this too is the evidence that we talked about in the last episode is show me the evidence, right?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: If I'm unfucking myself from all of these things that was conditioning and things that I learned, what am I doing now to make certain that I don't just pass that pattern down?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: Because I don't want to just fix myself.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: I want to make certain to interrupt that pattern so that that isn't something that then my character, my kids have a therapy bill later to fix in them.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: I've already handed all sorts of bad things down.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: So in trying to kind of fix that, not only for my kids, but as the example for other people, I think that's really important.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: It is.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of it, at least with my kids, I think they get held back sometimes at school.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: And there's this like, you know, teachers are doing the best that they can, but they're trying to guide these kids and you know, you guys be quiet, you don't speak up, and things like that.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that really it just makes kids not feel like they're able to be heard.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: I do.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: It makes me so sad.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: I hate that.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I I feel like the what how we've gotten in this society with raising children, it it's scary to me.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think uh kids are born, we issue them an iPad or a uh cell phone right out of the womb, is what it feels like to me.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like a hundred when I'm talking like this, and also I'm still gonna say it because I just don't care.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, we have we have data, the data points are in.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's a terrible way to raise your children.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: So if if you're that parent that is still at the point of, okay, I'm having new kids and that's that's something that you think is the right answer, go ahead and look at what the what the uh devastation is to teenage girls or to young girls who have cell phones.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: Go ahead and just look at that and then decide, is this the is this the type of young lady that I would like to raise?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because coming from this of they don't have a voice and they're being, I mean, we've just we've put it on steroids, we've amplified it, we've amplified the comparison game, the not feeling like yourself, the not being able to use your voice.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like we've just, we're making it worse, not better, I think, in a lot of the things that we're doing.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, kids need voices, yes, they need to have their opinions heard, yes, they need, you know, all of the things.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: We're not doing that by giving them tools to be able to numb out.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: You know, look at all of the things that we have with anxiety and all of these different things.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's like we're not teaching our children emotional intelligence, and that's literally the key to all of those things that we look at right now.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know what's funny?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: When you say numb out, yes, when I use my phone and when I'm doing that stuff on, you know, just Doom scrolling, I realize that's me numbing out.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: For whatever reason, I've never associated that to be what my kids are doing also.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Let's be real.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: Life doesn't come with a manual, but it does come with chaos.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: I wrote this book because I got tired of drowning and everyone else's noise and needed a way to fix my own shit.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't some sugar-coated self-help nonsense.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's rich, it's honest, and it's packed with tools that actually work in the middle of real life.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: If you're ready to stop playing small, take back your energy, and get unapologetically you again, this book is your playbook.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: You can pick up your copy of the Life Pack Playbook on Amazon or on our podcast website, let's get nakedpodcast.com.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: You're handing them their numb of choice right out of the womb.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't that wild?
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: I remember having a conversation with someone, and he was talking about one of his like 10, 12-year-old daughters who's like really wanted a phone, and he was asking me what to do about it.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, tell her, well, I first of all, you evaluate it as the parent.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Do you look at all the data?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: Look at what that does for young girls at the of that age, look at you know what that looks like because they can put as many parental controls in as they want.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter, these kids are smart, they will get hooked into whatever it is.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: So we've got people that can order drugs to their bedrooms, people that have pedophiles that are preying on them, people that like all of the different things.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: So we have all the data.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: So as a parent, look at that and decide is that what I want to give my kids?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: Because you can't say, oh, I want them to be able to communicate with me, grow up, right?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: We have flip phones, we have, you know, watches that they can, all there's all sorts of other tools for things, right?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: So, so in that instance, understand that what you're giving your child is something that they're not developed enough to handle, something that their confidence, they will never develop confidence as a young girl in the same way because they're not outdoing things, right?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: When I see four girls together on their phones looking and comparing to other people, it's like, you girls have enough to go play a game or go, you know, like what are we doing?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: So, so being able to make those choices from an educated adult perspective instead of, well, she said all of her other friends have it.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: You're looking at society right now and saying that that looks like what you want to hand to your daughters?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: Are you fucking kidding me right now?
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: No, I know.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: Knock it off, knock it off.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: We are the adults here, right?
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: I don't let my children bully me.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: I don't negotiate with hostages or with terrorists, excuse me.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: I don't negotiate with terrorists ever.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: When my kids try to negotiate with me, I negotiate the other direction.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: When it was, okay, you can have one when you're 16, it which I don't even think I should have given them to them when they're 16.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: Look at the effects that it had on the girls.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: We know this now, right?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: My daughters are 30 and and and you know, don't have social media.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: There's a reason why it's not good for you.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: This is not a society that we want to necessarily be raising our young girls in.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: Why are we like they come out of the womb and we give them an iPad because we don't want them to fuss?
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: I know, and I think this might be a whole other conversation, but the weight of the the like when the kids are like, but everybody else has the phone, that for me weighs on me.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, not that I want them to have everything just because everybody else has it.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I do understand, like, because I was that kid, you know, I didn't have all the things that everybody else had growing up.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that doesn't matter, but it does, it messes with me.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: I I get where you're coming from.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: You're dealing with a real life, real world perspective of how that goes down.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: But here's the thing: if you come at it from an adult perspective and you say, okay, here's the list of here's the pros and the cons of giving a 12-year-old girl a phone, whatever that is, right?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: Do the research.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: We have data.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's been decades now that we have had this out, social media, all of the things.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: We see what that brings.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: And you can look at the list of cons that that brings to a young girl with anxiety, lack of confidence.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like just go down the whole list.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: And boys too, though.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Boys to 100%.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: I I forgive me, everyone that's listening, because I always come from this girl's perspective.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: And that's not what I'm what I'm trying to do.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: It definitely is a voice thing.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, but but look at that and say, okay, do I want to hand my daughter something because she says everybody else has that?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, everybody else also has anxiety.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like all of the other things, right?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: So that's what you're handing her.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: You want to hand her the same thing that's good enough for everybody else, too?
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: Again, when you're coming from it from an adult perspective where you're not letting your emotions get tied into it, because so many times we let our emotions get in there and we're like, we don't want her to not be the cool kid.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: We don't want her to be the kid that doesn't have, we don't want her to be like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: I would maintain I want my daughter to be confident, comfortable in her own skin, listen to her own gut, not just numbing out and going with the herd.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: So when you look at it from that perspective, it almost feels like child abuse to give a really kid a smartphone.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: But normally you don't even think about it that deep.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like, okay, so-and-so has it.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: Because as adults, we're still middle schoolers.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: As adults, we're still when you realize there are so few human adults on this planet, doesn't matter what your age is, right?
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: You can be a human child or a human adult, literally has nothing to do with your age.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: If you're going to come from a child perspective and let the child be the one that bullies you as the parent into what their upbringing should look like, why are you even having kids?
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: And that's all we're gonna say about that.