Latest / Harder Than Life / Physicist Exposes Why Manifestation Fails (It's Not What You Think) ft. Randy Lyman

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Physicist Exposes Why Manifestation Fails (It's Not What You Think) ft. Randy Lyman · Harder Than Life

• 0:01
  Now at Lowe's, faster quotes start at the Lowe's Pro Desk. Got a material list handwritten on a sticky note or saved us a photo? Perfect. Bring it to us and get a quote in minutes. And if you don't see what you need on the shelf, we'll help you get it. You can access thousands of products beyond what's available in-store or on Lowe's.com, right from the Lowe's Pro Desk. Build quotes faster and source the materials you need to keep your jobs moving. Just like that at Lowe's.
• 0:30
  Emotion without discipline equals chaos. I turned off all my emotions. The problem was I missed the joy. I missed the love. I missed the connection with other people. I was disciplined. I worked hard. I had multiple million dollar businesses before I really got in touch with my emotions. And then we built things to 30 and 40 times that through a different approach. The mind protects us from everything except itself. My mother almost killed me.
• 0:55
  We'll be sitting here, we'll be talking, and that eight-year-old will be like, I need to be safe. Our emotions are always valid for us. It's messy, it can be painful, it's always worth it. You're not gonna die, but you won't live. We scroll, we take Xanax, we call friends, we do everything, but just sit in your .
• 1:14
  We are spiritual beings having this human experience. And if we shut off the emotion, we shut off the access to infinite intelligence. Forget artificial intelligence. Infinite intelligence is really the answer. Randy Lyman is a physicist and entrepreneur who wrote The Third Element, a book that makes a bold claim. Discipline and intelligence are not enough. There's a third component, emotional alignment. And without it, your success is a performance, not a life. Let's get into it.
• 1:47
  Those of you that are watching and you tune in every single week, please smash that subscribe button. We are focused on growing that for you to get bigger and better guests. I appreciate it. It means the world to me and our team breathing into you. If you're watching this on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify, subscribe on that platform.
• 2:11
  Welcome back to the Heart of Life Show and welcome to the Heart of Life Show with all the new found subscribers and listeners so excited about today's guest, Randy. We're here to talk about his new book, The Third Element. We're going to jump right into it. Welcome to Fort Lauderdale, my friend. I love your hat.
• 2:29
  Thank you, Kelly. Great to be here. You opened your book, The Third Element, with a big claim. I love this one. That most people already have discipline and intelligence, but they're missing emotional alignment. I've met a lot of emotionally expressive people who are still broken stuck. So what specifically do you mean by emotional alignment, and how is it different from just being in touch with your feelings?
• 2:54
  The only way we can truly release the limitations that are based on our emotional wounds from the past is to feel them completely. Not touch on the surface, not just kind of get into it a little bit. That's where we get stuck. But if you say, screw it, I'm gonna dive in. I'm bold, I'm brave, I'm ready to feel the pain. I'm ready to cry the tears. I'm ready to relive that pain that I've been avoiding. Then the pain's gone. Then the energy's gone. Then the law of attraction no longer needs to remind us
• 3:23
  of that opportunity to heal. Man, we're one sentence into this thing and he already hit me right in the heart, but I wanna challenge that opening statement on the discipline and intelligence.
• 3:38
  I would say most people, but there are a lot of people that don't have any discipline and don't have any intelligence. And I mean that as funny as possible. That's true. It's really true. And life is like a three-legged stool. I can sit on a three-legged stool if I'm missing any of them. My life's not going to be that great. But also these people, for the most part, who don't have discipline and intelligence, their life's not that great overall either. And they're going to have lessons that we might not understand because our approach to life is different.
• 4:06
  And that's one thing about the law of attraction. It gives us exactly the lesson we need that our soul has chosen and that we need to find our way back to love is the answer. Is that the want that people feel if they're, if someone's driving in their car right now and they're listening and they're like, Oh.
• 4:23
  I need more discipline. That distance between who they want to be and who they are, is that the emptiness that people feel? Or is that literally the law of attraction? Hitting them over the head and saying, Dude, come on now.
• 4:37
  For me, the emptiness was I turned off my emotions for several reasons. For one, kids I grew up with whose parents were emotional, their life is a mess. So I said, no emotions for me. Then as I had pain come up. Overcorrect. Yeah. No, shut this shit off. Sorry. No, no, no. It's okay. Shut this off.
• 4:54
  So I turned off all my emotions. The problem was I missed the joy. I missed the love. I missed the connection with other people. I was disciplined. I worked hard. I had multiple million dollar businesses before I really got in touch with my emotions. And then we built things to 30 and 40 times that to a different approach. But every one of our lives has a different path, a different meaning. But the reason I felt unfulfilled was
• 5:19
  Shutting off my negative emotions also caused me to shut off, of course, my positive emotions. So I wasn't feeling like I wasn't able to connect with the people I loved. I knew I loved them. I loved them. But soon as it started getting deep and I would feel it, then I also felt the pain coming up. And I just turned it off.
• 5:35
  Did you turn them off or did you numb them? Both. Because someone's sitting there going, uh-oh, is this a Kelly Siegel story? Because I numbed all my life. I didn't want to feel. I didn't know that's what I was doing until I was able to get on the other side of it. I had no clue. So you're 100% right. I agree with you. I went through it. I used to drink and party and numb and dumb. Yeah.
• 5:58
  And then the moment I said, this isn't working for me, and I stopped. I didn't hit rock bottom, just stopped. All of a sudden, the influx of emotions, Randy, me, I'm a big guy, 220 pounds. I curled up in the ball, and I'm crying and just letting the emotions come out. And I didn't know. I was 43 at this point. And they just come flying out of me. And I'm like, what? I remember talking to God.
• 6:23
  source, whatever this energy field is. Yeah, it's bigger than us. And I said, what in the blue hell is going on right now? Is this what I get for freaking feeling? And this is what I get for stop drinking? And it was like, this is the test. It's a test and it's also an opportunity to release. When we're pushed to that point that it all builds up and we finally break down our defenses.
• 6:48
  And we give that old energy. Emotions are bigger than time and space. So if I felt something two weeks ago or 30 years ago,
• 6:56
  If I didn't feel that emotion completely and I shut off, I'm not going to feel this, turn part of it off, that energy is still there. First law of thermodynamics, energy is neither destroyed nor created. So I see a situation and my mind makes a story and I'm going to go towards it. If it's good, I get good emotions. I'm going to go away from it. If it's bad, bad emotions. That's part of the body. It's part of the instinctual part of who we are.
• 7:19
  So that emotional guidance in the moment is valid. But as soon as the moment passes, that emotion is no longer good guidance. And if we shut it off, that energy that's still stored within us is like storing gasoline in a metal can.
• 7:34
  I can store gas in a metal can and 20 years later, I pour it out, it's volatile, and if I light a match, it's gonna burn. But when I burn the gas away, same as if I feel the emotions completely and burn them off, they're gone, they're done, it's over. And I no longer carry the burden of that old emotional wound that was waiting for me to feel it. How do we do that? In chapter seven of my book, I outline 14 different ways that are opportunities. Everybody does it different. For me, breathwork, EFT tapping,
• 8:02
  massage, for some people dancing or art or whatever that might be, or punch in a punching bag, working out. And I'm guessing that, I know you work out. Only on days that I didn't work. Yeah, I didn't have no accident. So when you get a chance, and I'm guessing, and I'm asking you, when you're frustrated, if you go and work out, do you feel better? Do you feel that energy come out of your body? Oh man, you know, we were just talking before we hit record. It's the time that I feel the best all day.
• 8:28
  And I'm addicted to it, but it's a time that I, it's just, I wrote about it in my book, Happier Than Life. It's one of the six things I do every day. You're in your body in the present moment. So the mind is never in the present moment. So everything fits into one of three categories, everything in the universe. And I call them elements because, but categories. So our thoughts and information is the first one in no particular order. Second one is our physical body and the physical reality we live in. And the third is our emotions.
• 8:57
  So if we start with our body, our body is only available to us right now in the moment. I can't feel my body tomorrow. I can't feel where it was yesterday.
• 9:06
  My mind is never in the moment because my mind is thinking about the past. My thinking mind, I can observe in a flash, but my thinking mind is thinking about the past, thinking about the future, or a stream of thought. And it's like looking at music on a sheet of paper. You have to play it out over time to make sense of it. So it's never in a moment. And then our emotions are bigger than time and space. They're not affected by time and space. They're faster than the speed of light. They're more powerful than anything there is.
• 9:28
  And so if I am hanging on to an emotion I want to release, I can't do that with my mind because the emotions have to come through the body in the present moment. So because the portal for us to experience our emotions through our physical body, through sensation,
• 9:43
  We can't do that with our mind. And so if you're working out, then you're aware of your body. You feel the pain. You feel the pressure. You're pushing yourself and you're breathing. Your focus and attention is on what do I feel? And that brings you into right now. And that's the connection to emotions. That's the connection to higher source. That's the connection to the people we love.
• 10:02
  I'm reading for the second time the body keeps the score. Is that pretty much what you're saying? Like the body, they say feel it in your body. And I go right into my mind. Yeah, because you're a smart guy.
• 10:14
  How can I fix that? Fix that, man. Okay, so that was my problem. So how we do that. So how we do it is we find an exercise where the mind is involved in guiding us because, first of all, if it's not involved, it's going to sabotage the process. The mind protects us from everything except itself. The mind protects us.
• 10:32
  The mind protects us from everything but ourselves. But itself, yes. But itself. So it protects us from physical pain. You can use it. It's so true. It protects us from emotional pain. So say I want to deal with my emotional pain. I know I got this pain coming up, this frustration. I got to feel it.
• 10:50
  My brain says, I don't want to do that. I said, okay, well, you can be part of the process. And it's like I'm talking to a separate part of myself, but that's the way I do it. And I say, okay, we're going to do this together. I'm going to do this exercise. Are you going to guide me through the exercise? And we're going to do this physical exercise, whatever one it is. And then the mind says, okay, I'm in charge. And I'm also busy guiding through the exercise. I'm not trying to hijack the process. So if the mind can hijack it will, because it wants attention, it wants to be involved.
• 11:16
  And if it doesn't feel it can stop the process to protect us from pain, it won't let us proceed. So EFT tapping is one of my favorites. The mind, I'm saying thoughts, I'm touching eight different points in my body. Walk us through that. Okay. So I'll just make up a tapping exercise right here. Thank you. Because if you're watching this on YouTube, you'll see this, but I'm going to walk you through it for those who are listening on audio. Perfect.
• 11:46
  It's going to involve my brain as I guide myself through it and I talk. Do you touch your head? I'm going to touch eight different places on my body, specific places that are related to meridians. And this was all developed from Chinese acupuncture.
• 11:59
  So it opens energy meridians in the body. And then because I start, I go in three stages. The first stage is I talk about the negative. I talk about the problem. That gives the emotion a chance to come up. Then law of attraction says I can't jump like attracts like. Similar things vibrate together. So I can't jump from, hey, it sucks to everything's perfect. So I go from this sucks to things might be okay. The things are good. I'm going to do it in three steps. So the first time through, I'll make up, Stephen, what's an issue? Give me a challenge. Something bothering you.
• 12:30
  Yeah. Something that is irritating you right now.
• 12:34
  I have lower back. Okay, lower back. So we're going to go through and I'm going to say a setup statement before I do the three stages. The setup statement is on the side of my hand. This sets my intention, starts to bring me in the moment. And I say, although my lower back is bothering me, I love and accept myself. Although my lower back is bothering me, I love and accept myself. Although my lower back is bothering me, I love and accept myself. So he's touching his hand. Touching the side of my hand. And now Stephen, my producer, is doing it as well. Yeah.
• 13:03
  Are you saying this stuff in your head right now? So you can follow along in your head. So then I'm going to start on the first point for the first, like I say, cycle through the negative cycle. I'll just use one hand because it's easier for the camera and above the eyebrow. And I'll say, my back is really bothering me. So I say that while I'm tapping. And I say, my back's been bothering me for a while. I wish it'd go away. And then third point below my eyes, I was on the side of my eyes and below my eyes.
• 13:31
  The pain in my back is keeping me from being present in the moment and keeping me from doing my job. And I'm going to go below the nose above my upper lip. He's tapping his upper lip. And I'm tapping above my upper lip. And I'm saying, this pain is really more than just the pain. It's starting to irritate me because it's holding me back in life. And I'll go to the next point, which is on my chin. And I'll say...
• 13:58
  I've had this problem in my life off and on, and now it's back again. My back's bothering me. And that's on my chin. And the next point is on the lower part of my collarbone. And I tap there again and I'll say, this pain is sometimes sharp and sometimes it goes away, but it seems to be persisting. I'm still talking about the negative. Then under my armpit, about four inches down on a rib, I'm really tired of this pain and I wish that it would leave.
• 14:29
  You can get into emotion. That's the whole key for it. Yeah, I like that. Then I go to the top eighth spot, top of my head.
• 14:36
  Now at Lowe's, faster quotes start at the Lowe's Pro Desk. Got a material list handwritten on a sticky note or saved as a photo? Perfect. Bring it to us and get a quote in minutes. And if you don't see what you need on the shelf, we'll help you get it. You can access thousands of products beyond what's available in-store or on lowes.com right from the Lowe's Pro Desk. Build quotes faster and source the materials you need to keep your jobs moving. Just like that at Lowe's.
• 15:08
  This pain has been with me for too long. So I finished that first cycle through the negative. Now, if I didn't get to it, I can go through two or three cycles of negative. We're going to, for sake of time here, and sometimes I get through it in just three. I'm going to go on to the next cycle, which is the neutral. So I go to my, start the same point again above my eyebrows. And I say, I've been through problems before, challenges before with my back pain, and I got through it.
• 15:35
  neutral and the side of my eyes I know other people have back pain and they get through it and then below my eye I believe that there's a path to healing for me and then below my nose I've been through challenges in my life and I've always found solutions and then on my chin I know that somehow the universe is going to support me through this
• 16:05
  collarbone. Every challenge I've been through in the past has brought me a gift. Interesting. And I'm starting to get positive but I just can't help myself. Me either. And then on my rib, and I'll go as quick as I can here. This too shall pass. And then top of my head, I'm ready for healing. Now, I start the third cycle which is going to be positive. I know a solution is close by.
• 16:34
  above my eyebrow and the side of my eye. I know that I will be guided through this the same as I've been guided through other problems in my life. And below my eye, God in the universe supports me and I know there's an answer. Upper lip. Even if I don't get through this, my life is still good. On my chin, I feel and I believe and I see
• 17:02
  The universe supports me in finding a solution and healing. Collarbone, I'm ready to heal by feeling what I need to feel to release and let go. Under the arm, I trust in the process and I know I'm going to feel better soon. Top of my head, I'm already feeling better now and I know that healing is on its way.
• 17:27
  So I went through, I went through the three different stages, negative, neutral to positive. And if I need to take more and go through one of the stages again, I do that. Maybe I have to go through it two or three times. Again, my mind is guiding me through it. It feels safe. I'm touching my body and meridians that activate the energy. The negative that I start out talking about gives the emotions a chance to really settle in and I get to feel them because I'm acknowledging them and then, and they're coming up. I'm kind of giving myself permission to feel those emotions.
• 17:56
  and then the neutral, and then I finish with the positive. So anytime I'm healing anything, what I'm looking for is I want to feel the old emotional wound. And as you said, cry the tears, let it go. And I have no embarrassment. I'm human. I'm an accomplished strong man. But if that comes up, I'm also a being, I'm a spiritual being on a human path.
• 18:17
  And this is our path. And there's no shame in this. Now, separate subject. We learn younger, as men, no emotions, right? Our age, yes. Yeah, all right. These younger kids. They're in the middle of their emotions. So anyway, I let the emotion go. I dive into it. I feel it. I release it through whatever process. Then...
• 18:37
  automatically love replaces where that pain was being held. Love comes in and healing energy comes in automatically. It's the way we're wired. And then I can use my mind to visualize the outcome I want. If I visualize the outcome before I release the pain, then the law of attraction is obligated to continue irritating me to remind me of the pain. So I get the pain out of the way. Now my brain, my thoughts, and my actions are far more effective and I can create the reality I want.
• 19:03
  It's wild. You have a question? Yeah, I do. I know, go ahead. Please. So the negative is just so that way you can trigger that emotion to be aware of the pain and then you're switching it to positive so that way you can lock in that. I have to burn that stored emotion the same as I burned stored gasoline. It sounds like it's dissipating it. It's dissipating. Thank you. Dissipating is the perfect word. It's what I felt when you were doing that. Yeah, so in thermodynamics, you have say potential energy
• 19:31
  which is gasoline and you burn it, it turns to heat. And if you capture that, you got pressure. And then that becomes maybe kinetic energy moving your car down the road. And that energy is always transforming. So when I feel my emotions through my body, that old energy stored in my body as the body keeps score type thing into my energy field. Now that old emotional energy that I was feeling, that's turned into heat.
• 19:52
  Through my body. If you work out, if you walk, if you run, if you feel something, you feel your face blushes, you feel the heat. So that old stored emotion becomes physical energy, becomes heat, and it's gone. Randy, why is it nothing to do with the heart? It all has to do with the heart. And thank you for bringing that up. So the heart is where we really connect at an emotional level with ourselves, with the people around us, and with the universe.
• 20:17
  Okay, I'm going to get... You guys are going to think I'm weird, but I'm going to tell you why. Well, we already thought that, but we love you. We love your sense of weird. I do this same... I do something similar. I will tap my heart, and I will just center myself, and I'll have a conversation with God. If I have a... I'll use the same thing. Pain. God...
• 20:38
  back's really painful right now. Don't, what's the lesson that I'm supposed to learn here? And I sit, I just sit and I wait and usually a voice appears and it's me because I'm the image and likeness of God and it says, I want you to slow down and I just wait until I hear the voice and the voice says something and then I do it
• 21:00
  Whatever the heck happens. And I thank them and I sit there and I honor it and I take probably the same amount of time that you do that. What is that in the law of attraction? Because it works. And if I'm doing something specific, it happens every time. So this law of attraction, you might call it woo-woo. I call it real-woo.
• 21:21
  What happened when I did that? Because you're in touch with your body where the emotion wants to come through. You're setting your intention. And just as importantly, everything else, you're surrendering to an answer that's bigger than you. And you had to learn to build your faith up. You took a chance and you surrendered and you built your faith over time. I burned everything else up, man. I tried every damn thing else. I tried to drink everything away, screw everything away, party everything. I tried everything. It did work.
• 21:48
  So what finally is, and it's hard. That's the hardest thing. It's just be calm, be quiet, and just be yourself. You'll be fine. By the way, in the book, it says, right on the title, it says the missing key to activate it. What is the missing key? Our emotions, which I'm calling the third element, the third category, the third element of the human experience,
• 22:13
  in those three categories is our emotional experience and the energy of emotions and acknowledging them. And we can have clear thoughts and take all the action we want. But if our lesson, our healing involves feeling something, the law of attraction is going to insist on holding us back from moving forward until we're able to feel what we need to feel, that third element. And then when we do, we gain all the power of all three elements together.
• 22:43
  Where do people mess up with this law of attraction or manifestation as most people call it? Most people think that manifestation debunked the whole manifestation thing. Other people now are starting to talk about emotions in the same way that I have for many years. This has frustrated me for 30 years because I go to places. I went to a lot of in-person great speakers and teachers in the 1990s. And they would talk about our thoughts and they'd talk about mostly thoughts. I'm thinking...
• 23:09
  No, it's the emotions. And finally, after I sold my business 11 years ago and five years ago, I said, I'm going to write a book. And it took me four years to write the book and get it clear. But...
• 23:19
  I've been using the approach for, like I say, 30 years. And I watched people around me get frustrated. And other people have the same challenge I had, which is, I don't want to feel my damn emotions. I'm not going to open up that mess. Forget it. It's messy. It can be painful. It's always worth it. But the ego protects us from that and says, no, we're not going to feel those emotions. What would you say about, Sadhguru said this, and I've stolen this line, thoughts are magical lies. Yeah.
• 23:48
  So because if an emotion becomes thought, or if a thought becomes an emotion, and a thought is a magical lie, that would say emotions are a lie. They are. That's true. Because if a story I make up in my head is not true,
• 24:04
  and there's an emotion around it, then right from the beginning, the emotion is a lie. But regardless, once the time has passed, the moment has passed, and when that emotion was valid as a guidance in that moment, a second later, 10 seconds later, probably 10 minutes it's gone and it's not useful anymore, that energy's still there. And then it's absolutely a lie relative to where I am today. So my emotional guidance from 10 minutes ago is a lie for my situation today.
• 24:33
  So I always come up with that is that just blew my mind because what I come up with is most emotions and thoughts are to keep you safe from your childhood trauma that's unhealed. And it's just you. It's energy saying, hey, this is a lesson that you need to address.
• 24:52
  So in respect, when you're that, like when I was eight years old, I was beat. My mother beat the, almost killed me. And a lot of times we'll be sitting here, we'll be talking and that eight year old will be like, I need to be safe. And that's a lie because I'm not, there's no threat here. Okay. But, but hang on. So I'm going to address that the way I see it. Please. Our emotions are always valid for us. They're valid. In the moment we have them.
• 25:19
  And they don't care if the time has passed. They still feel the same. So if you've ever gone through...
• 25:27
  emotions years later, and you start feeling like you're eight years old and you're being beat again. And you go back to that time and place. It feels exactly like you're being beat again. Oh, yeah. That same fear. It's real. And that is a valid feeling for you to experience. It's not valid as guidance. It has nothing to do with today. But that energy really feels that way. And that gasoline that's stored within you, that's its signature. That's how it feels. And it just wants to let go. It just wants to come through. And the challenge is,
• 25:56
  The onion isn't always one layer. It's a really big freaking onion. And then we get through some layers and we go and work on another onion. And it takes years to get through things. And I joke with people when they say, I've been on a spiritual path and I've been working on healing for 36 years. And I hope I'm halfway through. You know, it's funny. I've done a lot of work on myself. And when somebody says, oh, it's never ending journey. I'm like, I'm pretty far along. And then I start thinking that's the ego talking. But is your life better?
• 26:24
  I'll be honest with you, I told him this, is that I just got back from a vacation when I realized that everything I prayed for seven years ago when I was curled up in the ball, crying, going, what are you teaching me right now? I've got.
• 26:39
  And now I've moved the goalposts because that's life. And if you weren't willing to feel that pain and surrender, your life wouldn't be what it is today. Why do you think we call it harder than life? And so when people like you and I who have gone through these experiences and we're intelligent, strong people, and we say, this is my story and it worked for me, then it gives people hope saying, okay. Okay.
• 27:01
  If Kelly did it and Randy did it, then I'm willing to look at this and maybe I'll give this a try. And they can start off small. And when they get some positive results, then their life's going to improve. And eventually, hopefully, they're going to share this with somebody else and more lives are going to improve. And that's what this is all about. There it is. Pay it forward, man. You nailed it. Pay it forward. I don't need to do this stuff, but I love doing it. I love paying it forward. I did it. You did it. Everybody should be able to do it.
• 27:26
  I jumped the gun on that manifestation. So let's let's actually ask this the correct way. The law of attraction space has a credibility problem. People hear that manifestation. They think vision boards and wishful thinking. You're a physicist putting your name on this. What makes your framework structurally different from the stuff that doesn't work? And where do you draw the line between your model and magical thinking? We brushed on it, but that's a better, better question. So what's that's that one.
• 27:53
  Okay, in my book, The Third Element, I talk about how the law of attraction co-creates our reality for us moment by moment, like millisecond by millisecond, and explain that down to the quantum physics subnuclear level. I explain that in the book with some really great fun examples. And also, I refer to Heisenberg's uncertainty principle and the double-slip theory and what physics is talking about now, which is...
• 28:16
  Everything we're feeling as solid as matter is really just energy being called into this form for the moment for our experience. And moment to moment, that energy has to recreate to create the next moment of wherever I move to, wherever relationship is, I'm interacting with, the weather and all that. So quantum physics right now says matter's not solid and energy is not called into physical manifestation.
• 28:45
  until the moment it's necessary to be called into physical manifestation. This 1927 double slit theory, same year as Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, 1927. And then in 1957, I came to this conclusion on my own years ago before I read about Hugh Everett III in 1957, said, well, wait a minute, if this is true, then there's multiple possible futures, meaning there's multiple...
• 29:08
  Multiverses, as Marvel Comics says now, right? There's multiverses, but we can only experience one at a time. And I also explain this in the book. So all these possibilities exist. There's a possibility where I'm sitting on that side today and you're sitting here. But we can only experience one at a time and here we are. Within the last three years, I researched this double slit theory and I just realized that I know what it is, but could you do it in your brilliant mind, explain it to the users or like, why does he keep saying this? Can you say what it is?
• 29:36
  Just explain it as easy as you possibly can. Okay, so experimenters, physicists. Do you know what this is, Stephen? Oh, okay, see? Here you go. This is wild. This is really wild. By the way, if anybody who doesn't know what this, he's gonna do a good job of it, because he's brilliant. But go and check it out on YouTube. Double-slip there in 1927. There's a whole video, I watched it, and I'm like, oh. So go ahead, sir. So light is projected through two slits.
• 30:02
  And when waves go through two slits and they hit the target on the backside, this is two little narrow slits and the target's eight or 10 inches behind it. And if two waves go through, they come out the other side of the slits as waves. And these two waves from one particle that's split into two waves come back together in an interference pattern, meaning it gradually goes from bright to kind of dark gradually, and then bright and dark. And it has almost like a wave...
• 30:30
  density, the density, if you'd graphed it out on the target, is like a wave. So waves act a particular way when they interfere with each other, just like waves in the ocean. So they run this experiment and they get, oh, the light, when we push it through these slits, it's light. So they pull the lid off the experiment and somebody watches with their eyes. That's all they did, observed. Now they're in the same experiment again. And those light particles that they're sending through, or electrons are sending through one at a time,
• 30:56
  Now that they're watching with the human eye, they're not waves anymore. Now they act like particles. So just the observation, the human observation of that particle, the particle says, oh, wait a minute, I can't just be energy anymore. Somebody's watching me. I have to turn into matter and it turns into a particle. And now on the backside of the double slit target is two distinct slits as if we're shooting little BBs through the target and it acts as particles, not as waves.
• 31:21
  simply by being observed. And that's what happens every moment that our reality is being created. This energy is here waiting and saying, okay, as soon as somebody's watching, or as soon as I'm called into action, I get to play the part of solid reality.
• 31:35
  And on the other side of the double slit, it becomes one again, right? Isn't that what it was supposed to be? The energy becomes one, yes. The energy becomes one again. The unit of energy becomes one as it narrates. So, guys, it'll blow your mind. Just go look it up. And you did a great job. Thank you. Thank you. Before the third element existed as a book, what was failing in your life that forced you to look for it, not the origin story for the stage, the real version? What was actually breaking inside of you?
• 32:03
  I'll go back to a story I love to tell. So about a year into my relationship with Maria, who I met in 1989, I spent three years with her and she introduced me to the emotional side of the human experience. And I had a challenge with a couple of people in my life outside of work and about four people at work who were just incompetent. They were making mistakes. They couldn't get the accounting right. They couldn't make it to work on time. They couldn't, just problems. And so Maria says, everything's a mirror. Look at yourself. So I looked at my thoughts and I tried to be more competent in my thinking and planning.
• 32:32
  I looked at my actions. I tried to be more competent in my actions. And this went on for two months and the problems got worse and worse. So I go to a four-day retreat on business communication. And on the third day, we go through an exercise where I released and got to a memory and released energy around something my uncle had said to me 12 years earlier. He's drunk on his 40th birthday. And I talk about this in the book. And he says, I wish you were more like your friend, John.
• 32:57
  Now, what he meant was, I love you, and I wish we could connect, and I wish we really had that connection. All I heard was he didn't approve of me. So I then overachieved to try and get his approval because I wanted my family's approval. And finally, after 12 years, my soul just said, this is enough. You're going to get to this old emotional wound, and you're going to feel it and release it. So we went through an exercise called Seven Levels of Truth. I explain and share in the book, The Third Element. And so I released the emotion.
• 33:26
  And I go back to work crying in tears, bawling. Pretty soon the whole room's all emotional. It's great. Go back to work four days later. And what happens? Out of the six people who were incompetent in my life and I'd been trying to find a solution for two months, I don't remember the exact number. Like three of them became competent and the other three left. Like in a day. Two months of work.
• 33:49
  In one moment of this emotional release, it changed my reality. And both were for you. Yeah, it changed my reality. So as a physicist, everything's cause and effect. Okay, that was the cause of the emotional release. And the effect is the problem went away because now I realize the law of attraction and interacts with our emotions, not just our thoughts, not just our body. Bloody hell. That's what's going on in my life right now. You just explained it. And I used AI to figure it out this week. And I just explained it to him before. I'm like...
• 34:16
  I am blocking things in my life right now, and it's driving me insane. So underneath there, there's a pain that's ready to be felt. Yep. And you know that, and you're going to surrender to it. I was working with my coach on it this week. It's that eight-year-old. I went right back to that eight-year-old boy. He still is a little angry still. Did some unreasonable part of you, because we're children. We don't know at eight years old. I believe you deserve that.
• 34:40
  No, that was the whole, it's so funny you said it. You just nailed it. What he needed to say, we just worked on this yesterday. It was, I didn't deserve any of that. It was fricking rotten what my mom and dad did to me. And he didn't deserve it. And he was pissed and he wanted to say that.
• 34:58
  And I let him. And he said... I talked to my inner child. And people said, what are you, crazy? So do I. No, our inner child is who loves to climb mountains. I love fast cars. I love to drive fast. The creativity, joy, all that's inner child. We're not going to kill the child. We don't want to. And...
• 35:13
  We're not going to kill the ego either. So the ego partners with our higher self through our intuition and our emotions through our inner child. So I talk to my inner child. I listen. I do healing ortho with a lot of people. And I get to them to say, what would you call little you at 6 or 8 or 14 years old? And you get a name. And then you talk to them. And they have something to say. And that's real. And if somebody wants to tell me I'm crazy, great. Let them say whatever they want. But I can tell you. I'll be happy crazy. My life is so much better.
• 35:38
  Yeah, that's going on right now big time with me. And he's a little frustrated. And he let me know that my protectors protected him overly and that he may have lied to me about it and that it was much worse. He perceived it to be much worse than what it was. Because when we're 8 years old or even 14 or even 17, we don't understand how to navigate the world. We think we do.
• 36:06
  But it's all new. And just think about it. Even at 17 years old, okay, so my family doesn't approve of me. Why does that matter? Well, now I'm going out on my own. I got to get a job. I want to find a romantic partner. I want to find a girl, right? But if my family doesn't approve of me, how am I going to find a girlfriend? How am I going to build a life? And so even though I was logical and reasonable and almost an adult, it impacted me emotionally. And so many people also have gone through...
• 36:30
  Similar to what you've gone through. And it's hard to dive into that. It's painful. And it feels like we're going to die. But I can tell you that if we don't feel it, we are going to die. And if we do feel it, it will move on. I would say that you're not going to die, but you won't live. And I'm finding myself, Randy, I'm sharing this with all you Heart of Life Nation people. And if you're watching, I'm looking down because I'm sharing hard stuff with you.
• 37:00
  I've forgotten how to have fun because that boy never had fun. It was survival. And so part of me right now is I got to have fun. He yelled at me. He's like, have fun in Costa Rica. My coach, I just got back from vacation. He's like, have fun. Sometimes you feel guilty about that. And I just...
• 37:22
  It's head down and work, work, work, work, work now. Because I got to protect that eight-year-old. I got to protect everybody else too. All the Heart of the Life Nation. I've been working on my content because I got to protect everybody because somebody had to protect that eight-year-old boy. I still fight that today.
• 37:37
  I still fight that today. I feel it today. Do you fight it or do you feel it? No, I don't feel it. I mean, I still battle with that, so to speak. I don't allow myself to feel that. Instead, I keep working because that's one way to numb. And a part of me believes if I don't always, if I'm not always working and doing something to contribute, then...
• 37:58
  I should be ashamed. I'm not doing my part, whatever that is. And I still work through that today. And I know better in my mind, but that little boy inside of me still wants approval and knows that he can get approval by...
• 38:08
  Producing. It's killing me over here, dude. What do you do to try to unwind? I'll tap myself. I go to the gym. But even that's just a habit. Like, what do you do to just relax? Ride my dirt bike. Off-road in the desert. You didn't smile. Yeah, off-road. So I'm the most calm at like 40 or 50 miles an hour. It's a slower track at 30 miles an hour with a big jump and moving. I'm moving centered. I move first, then I think, and then I feel last. And that was one of my biggest challenges to get to my emotions.
• 38:38
  Feel, think. Everybody's different. So we have the three categories, thought, action, and emotion. And so I've had girlfriends who are emotional first,
• 38:48
  And then they think, and then moving is last. And because they're not comfortable moving, it's not natural. Wait, wait, hold on. A woman who's emotional? No. I found one. I found one. You found one. So she didn't like to drive on the freeway because she wasn't comfortable with motion. And she would react emotionally and she couldn't think. And so she didn't like to drive on the freeway. But that was the way she's wired. And that was the experience her soul chose to be here on the planet that way. And some emotional people have great lives because they're able to...
• 39:16
  experience their emotions completely and be fluid in their emotions. But I can't change the way I'm wired. I'm still wired. Primarily, I think even though my first reaction is action, I think and I take action and emotion comes last for me. Now I always want to feel and I understand the power of feeling, but even after 36 years of focusing on my emotions, it's still something I have to be aware of. It's not natural for me. And I don't, I don't preach this. I don't share this because I,
• 39:43
  I'm an emotional guy. I share what I share because it helped my life and it helps the lives that I interact with and to help people get in touch with their emotions, their lives get better. So this isn't because I want everybody to be emotional. I don't make decisions based on emotion. I don't use emotions to manipulate. But I know when I have an irritation in my life with 100% certainty, any irritation in my life is a reminder of an opportunity to heal.
• 40:10
  Yeah, I carry around a mirror now because it's my new thing. I have the cure to everybody's problems, and it's a mirror. I literally, it's a little $1 mirror. You want to fix anything? Here you go. 100%. Wow. I wanted to ask something about, is that why people get themselves in trouble because they lead with emotion? Should you ever really lead with emotion unless you're trying to connect with somebody else?
• 40:38
  Vulnerably, which would be more of a romantic relationship. Is that what happens in business? People lead with emotion and they shouldn't?
• 40:46
  Well, for a lot of people, they're comfortable in drama and they're comfortable in chaos. And so law of attraction brings them what they're comfortable with and it brings more of it. And their ego, and Eckhart Tolle talks about this when he talks about the pain body. The ego wants to be separate, wants to be important, pay attention to me. And pain and drama is one way that our ego says, look at me, look at me, give me attention. And that's addictive. Our mutual friend, John Gordon, says ego stands for edging God out.
• 41:16
  And to me, it could be like any, just any energy out. Just feel it. Just feel it. Who is it? Eckhart Tolle is the eagle of the enemy. So Eckhart Tolle says that our power is in the present moment. Now I take it, in my opinion, I have a lot of respect for him. So I'm in person last year and I have a lot of respect for Eckhart and his work. He says, we need to be in the present moment and observe. I take it a step deeper and I say, we need to be in the present moment where we can feel our old emotional wounds and release those. He doesn't talk much about emotion.
• 41:45
  No, he doesn't. But he's been able... Well, he evolved in like... Is this how you do... Is this meditation? It can be. Because that's how I find myself getting in that... I'm really bad when I say that. I'm so hard on myself.
• 42:01
  I'm striving to be better and better. And you're improving because you're changing your mindset and you're changing your words. And that's what people need to hear from us is they can do the same thing. Because I'm sitting here. I want to take this thing because I'm loving what you're saying. I have to look down and look at the next question. And I look back and I'm like, okay, well, I just want to listen to your, I want to listen to your answers, but I want to be more, I want to be more present. So Eckhart is the first step have to be,
• 42:27
  where my breath or where my body somehow have to be in the present moment out of my head. So I'm not distracted by my thoughts and I can be thinking, but I can also aware of my body. Now I take it to the next step of...
• 42:39
  The universe wants me to feel an old pain to burn off that energy, to release it. And I can only do that in the present moment. So first I set my intention with my mind. I find a way to connect with my body, somehow physically connect with the sensations in my body. And then if I can bring the emotions back up and...
• 42:59
  Feel the sensations related to those old emotions and that energy and move it. That's my goal. And that's where I do it a little differently than Eckhart. And again, he's a very evolved soul and I have a lot of respect for him. But I still call it the missing link because most people just don't want to go there. Everybody does things differently. You know, I get compared to Ed Milad a lot, but I'm different than Ed. And we're all different. And yours is, I find yours to be...
• 43:26
  much more relatable than Eckhart's, than even The Secret. You know, I didn't, I know I didn't, I didn't mean to say it. Okay, but The Secret is based on work by Esther Hicks, who channels a being called Abraham. I disagree with Abraham. Abraham says our emotions are our emotional guidance system.
• 43:42
  but they don't say in the moment. So they say, if you've got bad emotions, move away from those emotions. Okay, in the moment, that's true. But if I have old emotional wounds that I want to release, I have to dive into that pain and feel it completely. I have to embrace the pain. If I run away from the pain, that energy is still there and will still irritate my body and my life. Right there is what you just summed up the problem with this world. We, instead of feeling it, we have got to numb it. I mean, we don't have to. Yeah, but we try to. What do we do? We scroll.
• 44:12
  We take Xanax. We call friends. We do everything, but just sit in your shit. And there's the answer. Microphone drop. End of episode. No, I'm just kidding. All right, let's talk a little bit about, let's keep going into this emotional. Most people, most driven people I know aren't emotionally shut down. They're emotionally hijacked. We're talking about this, so I'm going to dig deep. Running on anxiety, urgency, and control and calling a discipline.
• 44:41
  Hello, me? That was me. It's the real problem is suppression or is that people have built their entire identity around the wrong emotional fuel.
• 44:52
  They're in denial because they're afraid to feel the pain. Again, it's messy and so it's easier to deny it. And here's the other thing. Denial. People don't have great examples to say, oh. Oh, there you go. Look at people who have embraced their emotions, intelligent, capable people who have embraced their emotions and found more success because they chose that path. Randy, who would be some people that we can cite? I'm trying to think like...
• 45:17
  Well, great leaders like Winston Churchill, but we don't know, he never really shared his emotions. Herb Keller, Herb Keller founded Southwest Airlines, and he was all about let's have fun, let's treat people like they're important, let's see the spirit in people, let's see the life in people, let's have fun. And he took an emotional approach to his business. Now he still had schedules and timelines and budgets and all that, but he treated his people with their emotions being taken into consideration.
• 45:46
  And when Herb Keller ran Southwest Airlines, it was extremely successful. Do you remember the time, you're of my age, you remember the time where you'd have to leave your shit at home and they don't bring in emotions to work? But I remember coaching someone, a colleague at work, and he's like, he's crying. He's like, I've never worked for a company where it was okay to do this. And I was like, hey man, we're a family.
• 46:14
  And if you've got something going on at home, you're bringing it here anyways. Yeah, exactly. And that's the thing. It's gonna seep into our reality, especially when you try and deny it. It's like the little kid who wants attention. During the time I ran my business, Randy's Worldwide Automotive and Yukon Gear and Axle, different men, it was mostly men, they come up and talk to me about a problem.
• 46:34
  Or I'd ask them, how's things going? It seems like you're not really on. And then give them that space to open up. I've had over 20 men sit at my desk across from me, behind closed doors, and cry. And break down and feel what they needed to feel. And it was an honor for me to hold that space for these strong, capable men to be able to feel what they needed to feel to let that go and have permission to be human.
• 46:54
  And I was really honored to be able to be in that position. And now I still work with other people. But again, I was working with a bunch of macho guys. And all of us, no matter what, we are spiritual beings having this human experience. And if we shut off the emotion, we shut off the access to the spiritual part, the real intelligence, the infinite intelligence. Forget artificial intelligence. Infinite intelligence is really the answer.
• 47:20
  It's so funny, it's almost like you can see the questions. Because the next question was, you distinguish between emotional mastery and emotional suppression. It's exactly what we just talked about. Most people think they're doing the first one, they're actually doing the second. What's the behavioral difference and how would somebody actually test which one they're living in right now? You just gave us the answer, which is just hold space and make it safe and go first. But what if people don't know and they are actually doing the suppression?
• 47:50
  One keyword. That keyword is blame. Now, it might have anger associated with it. It might have frustration associated with it. But when I'm trying to change something in the outside world, I'm blaming the outside world, the circumstances, the person, whatever that might be. And the moment I try and change the outside world and I'm blaming, then I'm not working towards the solution. I'm not owning that I have something to feel. It's so good, dude.
• 48:16
  Yeah, I say all the time, losers assigned blame winners, fix problems. So if you want to be a winner, he just gave you the answer. So when we take ultimate responsibility and I say, everything in my life is of my doing. At first it's hard. Like, oh, that's too much. When did you do that? When did you first do that? I first started doing that about 35 years ago. Why makes it so hard? Because ego doesn't want to be the problem.
• 48:41
  Okay, I believe in reincarnation. We come down here for a thousand lifetimes. We're spark of the great divine, whatever that is. And the game is I'm going to forget love. I'm going to forget who I am. And I'm going to learn how to survive food and shelter. I'm going to learn some skill sets, learn how to get along with people and all that. And that's the game is to forget that. And along the way, we start to learn that who we are as souls is so much bigger than the human experience.
• 49:09
  How old are you? 64. How long are you going to live for? Hopefully another 36 years. I want to live as long as I can enjoy my life and as long as I can be of service to the people of this planet who are hurt. Because God dang it, people out there, they hurt. And they don't know what to do. And they don't have good examples. And it's not that hard. It's possible.
• 49:32
  To show up and help people and say, this was my story. In my life, I thought I had it, but it didn't. It sucked. And it was tough. But fortunately, I found ways to work through my challenges and my life became better. And now I'm able to share with people almost every day. Just hold a space for people to be able to feel what they need to feel and cry the tears and get through what they're ready to get through. And that's so much more beautiful than anything else I've experienced in my life, to be able to do that.
• 50:00
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• 50:30
  Thank you for that. You're welcome. Thank you for that emotion. I feel the same way, and I'm grateful you're here. Thank you for... Thank you. You went first, and I love it, and I'm with you. I'm going to live to 120 now, 100 minimum with today's technology, 120, and I'm going to be freaking screaming on these airwaves, paying it forward just like you, and I feel the same way. I want everybody to feel...
• 50:54
  The way that we feel. And that joy that you just felt in that crying and that release that you just had. It's beautiful. I invite all the HGL Nation to do this. So my goal every day, my main goal is to either cry tears of gratitude. I'm so freaking happy that I cry tears of gratitude. Or I cry tears releasing my emotional pain or with somebody else who's releasing their emotional pain. And that might sound crazy, but that's the... It's not crazy. It's the deepest feeling I can feel. It's the most rewarding. It's the most cleansing.
• 51:24
  So I talked about when I feel the best is at the gym. I go to the gym at 5 o'clock every morning. And on my way to the gym, most days, I get overwhelmed with gratitude. And then the really good days, I start crying. And when I used to numb and dumb, I couldn't feel that. I felt nothing.
• 51:43
  So that's why I will continue on this healing journey, this paying it forward, and meeting beautiful people like you who are doing the same damn thing in your way and my way. You may wear a cowboy hat, and I just have this beautiful head of hair. So I just... Guys, if you're not crying for gratitude, and Stephen's over here laughing at me, thinking I'm being woo-woo-y, but... No, this is real. If you're not, it's real. It's real. Because I'm telling you, I'm a man, and I'm telling you, be... If you're not having those, we...
• 52:13
  Email me and we'll break it down and we'll figure it out what's going on. There's some habit. There's some unhealed something and it's probably sitting you right in the face. And I'm going to make a pitch for my book. Again, I share my story. Guys, go get the book, The Third Element. It's out front of us. It'll be a link in the show notes. Please, I cut you off and I apologize. No, that's fine. It's about how can we help other people first understand there's a path to understanding.
• 52:39
  emotional healing and a more successful life and then what do they need to do to do that so first let people understand there there is hope there's a reason for hope there's a reason to go down this tunnel there's light at the end of the tunnel and that's what you and i share
• 52:54
  Yeah, the night is darkest just before dawn too, guys. So you're going to be tested. It's the second mountain. It's up and down. And when you think it's just at the moment where you think it's never going to fucking end, you see that crack.
• 53:11
  And then boom, and then another freaking mountain comes. That's called life. It's freaking beautiful if you let it. I can feel your energy, Randy. I'm feeding off of you. You say positive thinking can be harmful when misused. It's a strong claim in a space that sells positivity as the product. If it's used as a distraction from feeling our emotions and we use our
• 53:34
  positive affirmations and our positive thoughts to deny the pain that's ready to be healed then it gets in the way you were going the way i wanted you to go so how does someone go from i'm being optimistic to i'm actively blocking my own progress without knowing it optimism doesn't we don't have to work at it it's like intuition it's just a voice it says okay turn that's the manifestation we don't have to work on it manifestation without any action
• 53:59
  Well, we still take action, put ourselves in the right room, we drive to the right location, and we take care of the health of our body. But at the same time, we're realistic about what's going on in our life. And we're not just using our thoughts as a distraction from, again, what we need to feel. And I go back to this over and over again. The people I work with are like...
• 54:19
  If I ask Randy, what should I do? He's going to tell me the same thing. And that's because it works. That's the reason. That's what I do. I also wrote recently an emotional healing workbook. And I wrote this for myself three years ago. And I've used it like 13 times. And it's about what am I experiencing? What's my thought process around this? And what are the underlying emotions? How do I feel the emotions? And then once I felt the emotions, how do I...
• 54:42
  Use my positive thoughts to take me in the right direction after I felt the emotions. People can learn the rhythm of that and they have success two or three times. Then it becomes easier. And as I talk about in the book, sooner or later, I don't know if it takes 10 times or 20 times. I don't even remember. It was 36 years ago. We get to a tipping point where I say, oh, I got to deal with my emotions. And right away, I say, yeah, but I know the outcome is going to be good. That tipping point comes. And until that tipping point comes, it's like, oh, I got to do this again. And pretty soon, like you now, when you talk about...
• 55:12
  I would say that that tipping point is when you really trust yourself and some other power, whether it be God, source or energy. But you really, to your soul, into your cellular level, you trust yourself.
• 55:30
  Now, a lot of people get distracted by science as I learn more and more about science and the universe and subnuclear. And they look out at the stars and that star is two million light years away. So wait a minute. That's the closest star. Light goes around the Earth seven times in one second.
• 55:45
  Seven times in one second. And so now, okay, get up to that speed. You're on there seven times in one second. Now go out at that speed for two million years. And there's going to be nothing between here, no stars anyway, between here and that star. So the vastness of it all. And I think, am I really that important? Am I really that powerful? Yes, in some ways. When I connect with source, when I surrender, I have access to that power. But when my ego wants to be important, I'm limited.
• 56:11
  It's so good. It's flying by. I got to wrap this up. I got three, several more questions. So we're gonna go a skosh longer and I apologize. Cause there's a nervous system question and there's a book question and something for the audience that I have to ask. So you talk about aligning your nervous system with your vision. That sounds powerful, but it sounds a little bit vague. So operationally, what does nervous system alignment require? What are the inputs, what are the outputs and how long does it actually take? We've touched on this a little bit, but I wanna
• 56:41
  I want to hammer that. And I know I keep saying the same thing, but it really is the key. I got to feel the pain. So when my nervous system is not calm, it's because it's trying to avoid something bigger that's ready to be felt. So when I get nervous, angry, anxious, whatever that is, that's the surface level of what I really need to dive into.
• 57:02
  I was reading, I think it's in The Body Keeps the Score. Is it? I think it's in The Body Keeps the Score. I don't remember that. No, no, no. That's what I'm about to say. I don't know if it's that or if I was something else. No, I don't remember that. It's there. Ask the five whys. Why? Why? Why am I feeling this? Why am I? And then the fifth why is the real answer. I don't know if it was in The Body Keeps the Score. Seven levels of truth in mind comes down to always the base level we come back to.
• 57:31
  I'm not accepted. I'm going to be thrown out of my family or my tribe or whatever, and I'm going to die. Now, in today's reality, that's not going to happen. Go back a thousand years ago, which is just a blip in the total human timeline. Instinctually, if I'm out on my own in the desert, in the forest, I'm going to die. And that's where we get to is if people don't approve of me and at the deepest level...
• 57:53
  I'm gone. I'm done. I'm toast. And that's what we want to get to is that underlying fear that that child who's alive in this still has. You're speaking to that eight-year-old boy, man. If someone's doing the visualization, the journaling, the meditation, the affirmations, all of it every single day and nothing has shifted, where is their system breaking? Walk us through the day and show me where the failure point is.
• 58:20
  So what I suggest, especially to left brain leaders or anybody, is get a piece of paper, pen or pencil. And if your left brain and you're a list maker, you're going to make three columns. And the left column is, here's the problem. The middle column, and you can write down 10 of them. And our brain goes, oh, my God, I got all these problems. And I write them down. And then maybe there's six, maybe there's 12. I can handle that.
• 58:41
  There's never that many. No. And most of them are combined. Yeah. And then middle column, what's a solution? I have an operational or action solution. And then even if I find the solution, I go to the third column. What was the underlying feeling? What's irritation? What's it feel like? That's the power. And the mind will go through that. So the mind's involved in the process. My physical reality is involved through my hand. You could type it out on the computer. You're doing that dissipation thing again. Yeah. How about that? You realize that? Yeah. Yeah.
• 59:07
  And then if I'm doing it on a piece of paper, now it's in the physical reality and it gives an opportunity for the emotions to come up. So, and then if I'm not a left brain person, go scribble, doodle and pay attention to your doodles and express whatever you're feeling here on your scribbles, on your doodles, on your coloring, on your drawing. And so paper is the safest. And when you're done with it, you want to keep it, keep it. If you want, burn it, do whatever you want to do with it. But...
• 59:32
  It brings us into, okay, I've got a challenge and I can handle this, or at least I'm going to try and express myself. And that's where I try and take people because that's the easiest. That's exactly what we're doing in the parts work and brain spotting. Just want that little kid just talks and it dissipates. I don't know what happens. It's the weirdest thing. EMDR, I did the same thing.
• 59:52
  I would be remiss if I didn't ask you this. What identity did you have to destroy to write this book? The physicist who doesn't touch spirituality or the entrepreneur who runs on pure logic or who did you have to stop being? Well, if I go back to when I learned to be a better leader, it took time, took a lot of time. Say it's 30 years ago I started, but 26 years ago I had a relapse and I had to go back and say,
• 1:00:18
  I'm not that important. My responsibility is to the people I lead. My responsibility is to people in my life who I love. And I have to realize that any change I make can be for me and it should be for me. But the best way to start for me was to understand that I could be
• 1:00:36
  I could contribute more to the world, to the people I work with, to my family, by finding a way to improve and just putting my ego aside. That was hard because I was smart and I was successful. And my way works, look at me, I'm successful. That was hard to let that go. Service to others, man. That's the answer to everything. Someone is listening right now, Randy, and they're in the gap. They've built the career, they're hitting the numbers.
• 1:01:04
  they're winning and something still feels hollow. They've got 24 hours before their next meeting. What is the single most honest thing that they can do today to start closing that gap? Look at why they need to be perfect. Ask themselves, why do I need to be perfect? Because striving for perfection is important. If I'm building airplane parts or medical equipment, perfection is really important. But if I'm talking about
• 1:01:30
  how I feel, how I act, how I interact with others, I'm going to make mistakes. Of course. And in those mistakes, I'm going to have learning and I'm going to get better. And so if we cut ourselves some slack and say, I don't have to do this perfect, but I can find a way to improve, then we'll find a way if we don't hold ourselves to unreasonable standards of perfection. Progress over perfection.
• 1:01:52
  All right, we're going to wrap this up. This is, we end every show with this. It's a rapid fire. So just one sentence, one answer, and I won't interrupt you. So biggest lie manifestation industry sells. Positive thinking is enough. The third element in one word. Emotions. Discipline without emotion equals. Denial. Emotion without discipline equals. Chaos. The feeling high achievers are most addicted to.
• 1:02:23
  I'm almost there. Bloody hell. Visualization or activation? Pick one and defend it. Activation because my visualization won't be effective until I work through the other things that are holding me back, my emotions. Where do people hide behind the law of attraction? They blame the law of attraction because just because they're not using the tool right doesn't mean the tool is broken. One belief that guarantees you stay stuck forever.
• 1:02:53
  blame. Everybody else has to blame. Success without fulfillment tastes like. Empty. Physics or faith, which side is the third element really on? Faith.
• 1:03:11
  Einstein said it. Imagination is bigger than science and bigger than the mind. And that's how all the great science came through. Werner Heisenberg, 1927. He was on a hiatus because of his allergies. And he had this vision of the uncertainty principle came out of nowhere, wasn't an equation.
• 1:03:27
  I know I'm not going to have to tell people to share this episode. This was deep, man. It flew by. And I thank you for being here. And I'm grateful now to have you in my life. And I call you friends. So thanks for being harder than life. You're welcome. Thank you for having me.
• 1:03:44
  Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.