Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: Do your job!

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: Do your job! · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Stop, stop what you're doing.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Here is another world famous crank car from Darren Wackhead
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: simthing ex exclusive to KFM Mornings.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, as I said, this man in the prank this morning,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: he doesn't deserve to hear from me. You can hear
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: how frustrated this guy is. I picked it up immediately.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: He's at his wits end. He's totally exhausted. It's about
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: a ball. They're saying he hasn't paid. He's paid, they
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: say he hasn't paid. He's been on the phone, he's
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: been on the email for three months trying to sort
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: this out. He's spoken to twenty different people about this.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: He keeps wanting to go up the line, down the line.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: I want to speak to the person that I spoke to.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: They got close to sorting this out. So now he's like,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: there's one particular person he wants to speak to because
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: he jots down everything. You know, because after the phone
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: call that he gets, it's followed up with an email.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: So I spoke to such and such and we got nowhere. Okay,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: but he got the furtherest with one particular guy who
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: he says, I want him to call me. I want
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: him to deal with me to sort this out. Okay.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to be that guy, but now I'm
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: going to try and be the most incompetent of all,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: because every email is the incompetence, the incompetence, the incompetence. Okay,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: so let's see just how incompetent I can be.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Make him go crazy.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: I will do my best. Okay, I'm sure saying the
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: word democograph's going to send him off the rails.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, do something crazy.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Okay, don't put your phone down, you just keep butt
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: on there, right okay, Oh mister, good day, sir. I'm
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: calling you from Yeah about the outstanding account set.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Who am I speaking to?
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: You're speaking to Tabusani?
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: Okay, Now, where haven't I paid on my account?
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: So this account has been outstanding for three months now?
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: No it haven't.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: I have forwarded all my payments that I've done every
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: month to your account's department, to your collections departments. Okay,
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: and you guys haven't updated your system, so I want
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: you to sort that out.
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: Now.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: I'm getting sick and tired of sending me letters and
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: telling me that I haven't paid when you don't do
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: your bloody or jobs over there. No, so my accounts
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: are paid up to date. Do your work on that
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: side and make sure that it's sorted out.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: So we've done our work. That is why we stopped
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: sending letters, and now we're just going to call you.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: Calling me isn't going to help. I've sent, I've emailed
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: all my payment confirmations to you that we're done every month.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: If you are too.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: Incompetent, no, no, Bladdy will do your damn work.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: So it's quite clear you telling the other people. You're
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: saying I've paid, and you think they're going to go away.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: Listen, I've spoken to twenty people over there already.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Say you've told twenty people the same lie.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: Listen, don't you tell me that I'm lying? Okay, give
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: me your address. I want to come through there now
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: and I will come and talk to you personally. So
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: don't you tell me that I'm Blady Will lying.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Okay, you're probably lying about that too.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: No, I'm not lying about that. I will Bladdy will
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: make sure that you will see what.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: The hell I do to you. Okay, I've sent so Okay.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: No, I don't need you to tell me to play
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: the money when I paid it.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: You have not paid. You have not paid a cent.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: You're making free calls and you can't just take I'm not.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: Making three calls on your account.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Okay, but you are because you're not paying for the
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: time you're using.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: Listen, so I'm not interested. I've paid my account every
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: bloody month. You too, bloy your incompetence to sort out
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: the damn account.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: It's like you hand okay, mistersania ocoon listen.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: I do not appreciate you telling me that I'm a liar.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Okay, well you're a liar, said listen.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: I will come up here and I will stuff it
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: in your face for you. Okay, don't you tell me
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: that I'm a liar. I pay your cancellary every month
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: for you.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: No, you don't. I haven't been paid for three months
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: because of you.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: Well that's your bloody problem.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Okay. Your number is going to be cut at mid
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: day today. If we don't, then.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: You cut it. Okay, cut it, ma man. Then we'll
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: see what will happen.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: If we don't perceive the outstanding balance.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: You will not receive it because it has been pied.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: You lying again. There you go.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: You do not know how to work.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: You're too put an incompetent overday to do your bloody work.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: So how big is your nose? Because it's growing? A man, Okay,
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: you must pay, sir.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: I can't tell me to can pay it? Man? Cut
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: it the number more? Man, cut it?
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Okay, got it, I will cut it, but you cut it.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: Thing.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: You're putting squatting rights on this number? How much did
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: you pay last month?
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Time?
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Hold on, let's get to the bottom of this. Hello, mister, Yes,
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: I need to just go to the toilet and then
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: I'm going to come back and sort it out. Hi. Man,
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: but I'm busting now. I must go to the toilets.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: Well, flush yourself with it, go and do it.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, Colin now, Colin now, Okay, So I'm back. I'm
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: back from toilet.
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: That was quick.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: So look, okay, I I I did download the brown load.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: What do you mean?
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: What what I know?
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: What you mean with your brown lord?
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: I went to go honk out a dead snake.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: Oh god, a dirt snake. So what's that going to
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: do with me?
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: Okay? I just went to release a chocolate hostage release
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: I was born. I need to know anything about your
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: person sending some cigars back to Cuba. That. I'm just
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: trying to tell you what I was doing without being rude.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: But I can't say, like exactly do you know what
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: I'm what I was doing?
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: You hut your brains out.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: In the toilet.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no no. I gave birth to
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: your twin.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: Who my twin? Man?
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, I was busy lengthening.
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: Interested in your personal business? Right, it's your personal business.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: If you go to the toilet, that's your problem. It's
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: not for nothing to do with me.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: I was busy lengthening my spine.
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: I'm not interested in that and what you've downloaded or
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: whatever the case might see.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Okay, let me tell you the account number. The account
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: number is, uh reader, it's wacked.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: Something wacked something.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Told you guys, look at there she there by you.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she's sitting here block Scott, Yeah yeah, yeah, yay. Hey,
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: you guys are getting my blood boiling over you know.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: He awesome?
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: Way Where do you get from?
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: I have to sit all day and make them up,
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: That's what I do.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: It's like, you know, the people don't let their thoughts out.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: You know, it creeps up your spine and it damages
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: your brain.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: A lot going on? What what is block squattle.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: I wonder how many times you've been called that in
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: your lifetime.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: I've never heard that, look squattle. I can't believe that
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: that's the first time that you've heard that first time.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: First time, you little rubbish? Is that what it means,
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: a block squattle? Honest? Yeah? In context, you can interpret
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: it how everybody comes down to. Yes, your start. Thank
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: you very much for all the definitions of block squad. Okay,
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: the most common English translation a rascal, and you say
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: Afrikaans very an Afrikaans icon has called you that before.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: I was called that by the legend the great wum
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: Rihian Kravach. He said, Darren, you're a little rascal, he said,
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: literally reporting if you need anybody pranked, you should know
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: my email by now here. It is Darreness at KFM,
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: dot co dot z a