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When Your Gut Knows Something Is Wrong · Groove with Portia

0:06
Speaker 1: Welcome to Grow with Porsche, the podcast that uncovers the
0:09
Speaker 1: hidden treasures within grief. I'm your host, Porsche the Producer,
0:12
Speaker 1: and I'm inviting you to join me on a transformative
0:15
Speaker 1: journey where we were exchange laughter, of course the best
0:18
Speaker 1: medicine of them all, reflect on cherish memories, Remember that
0:21
Speaker 1: time that the little boy grabbed my hand instead of
0:23
Speaker 1: his mother's at the amusement park yikes, And of course,
0:26
Speaker 1: discover gratitude while navigating one of life's hardest challenges lost.
0:31
Speaker 1: So get ready to gree with me, Porsche the Producer,
0:35
Speaker 1: let's dive in. Hello everybody, and welcome back to Grow
0:46
Speaker 1: with Porsche. I am your host, Porsche Booker, and as always,
0:49
Speaker 1: don't forget to like, share and subscribe to keep it
0:52
Speaker 1: with the latest and greatest of all with Grew with Porsche.
0:55
Speaker 1: One of the things that I've brought up many times
0:57
Speaker 1: on this show is how many of us struggle with
1:01
Speaker 1: pivoting and transitions in our identity when we have gone
1:05
Speaker 1: through grief, career pivots. Even Let's think about when we
1:11
Speaker 1: graduate from high school and we're no longer going to
1:13
Speaker 1: be in that classroom with those twenty five or twenty
1:16
Speaker 1: six people that we were used to seeing for the
1:19
Speaker 1: last four years. There's a grief that comes with that,
1:22
Speaker 1: There's a shedding, and how many of us have been
1:26
Speaker 1: able to learn how to integrate that version of ourselves
1:30
Speaker 1: into the new version who we are today. Let that
1:33
Speaker 1: sink in. So today I have the honor of being
1:37
Speaker 1: joined by an individual who has written a book called
1:41
Speaker 1: Madness in Memphis. She's also a licensed counselor who is
1:46
Speaker 1: now on the other side of the world who used
1:48
Speaker 1: to be here in the United States. So welcome, miss
1:52
Speaker 1: Patricia Gordon Stevens to grow with Portia. How are you today?
1:55
Speaker 2: Hi, Portia, I'm great and thank you so much for
1:58
Speaker 2: having me. And I love your description the opening because
2:01
Speaker 2: it is, in essence a shedding of oneself, isn't it
2:05
Speaker 2: every time we go into a new adventure or a
2:08
Speaker 2: new journey, a new section of our lives. I love
2:11
Speaker 2: the way you.
2:12
Speaker 1: Put that, and I'm excited, Patricia to dive right into
2:16
Speaker 1: this conversation because I know there's a correlation with that
2:21
Speaker 1: with your book Menpit, Madness and Memphis. So first starts, Patricia,
2:26
Speaker 1: what are you grateful for today?
2:28
Speaker 2: Oh? Well, I'm grateful being here with you. I'm grateful
2:31
Speaker 2: at six o'clock in the morning, I got up at
2:33
Speaker 2: four thirty, and I am absolutely I turned seventy on
2:37
Speaker 2: Halloween last year, so I'm a good witch. Some people
2:42
Speaker 2: call me a witch and some people call me a
2:44
Speaker 2: good witch, but anyway, I'm seventy. So I am grateful
2:48
Speaker 2: for all the new things that have been presented to
2:51
Speaker 2: me in my life, especially in this decade. I feel
2:55
Speaker 2: as though I may be busier today than I was
2:59
Speaker 2: twenty years ago. So wow, I love life. I love people.
3:04
Speaker 2: I love all people. I suppose until I have a
3:07
Speaker 2: reason not to, I love all people.
3:10
Speaker 1: Well, happy belated birthday. That is amazing that you turned
3:14
Speaker 1: the big seven to zero. I would say you're seven forever.
3:17
Speaker 1: So that's probably why you're a lot this year these days.
3:22
Speaker 1: And kudos to you for sharing that you feel this
3:26
Speaker 1: more extended longevity now that you know then before twenty
3:32
Speaker 1: years ago. So Patricia, for our audience who's tuning in,
3:36
Speaker 1: as I brought up in the beginning, you're the author
3:38
Speaker 1: of the newly released book Madness and Memphis, and I'm
3:43
Speaker 1: curious for our audience if you have the book in
3:45
Speaker 1: front of us, show it you're more than welcome to
3:47
Speaker 1: And for our audience who's tuning in, let's start off
3:51
Speaker 1: with this title Madness and Memphis, because when I think
3:55
Speaker 1: about the title, it makes me think of kind of
3:59
Speaker 1: like a catch phrase. So I'm here in Cleveland, Ohio,
4:02
Speaker 1: and those people who know Cleveland, they know Cleveland rocks, right,
4:06
Speaker 1: And I'm curious, what's the correlation in the title of
4:10
Speaker 1: the book Madness in Memphis.
4:12
Speaker 2: I was born and raised in Memphis, Tennessee. My mother
4:16
Speaker 2: a long time ago worked for the Memphis Area Chamber
4:19
Speaker 2: of Commerce and Porsha. When I tell you somebody loved
4:22
Speaker 2: her sister her city Adelaide, Australia, where I live right now.
4:27
Speaker 2: I live outside of Adelaide, but it has been designated
4:31
Speaker 2: at one point to be memphis sister city. So I
4:33
Speaker 2: feel like, after all the things I've gone through, I
4:36
Speaker 2: was destined to be here. But my mother had a
4:38
Speaker 2: great love for Memphis. She used to tell me when
4:41
Speaker 2: I have to hide, Patricia, I'm going to be on
4:42
Speaker 2: Memphisis trolley car wearing a Memphis Baseball cap, and I'm
4:45
Speaker 2: going to be telling all the virtues of our beautiful city.
4:48
Speaker 2: I'm going to explain to everybody why they should be
4:50
Speaker 2: there and all the things they need to see. So
4:54
Speaker 2: I loved Memphis. I still love Memphis. I haven't lived
4:58
Speaker 2: there for twenty five years, but that's where I met,
5:01
Speaker 2: you know, my first love. That's where I met my
5:05
Speaker 2: best friend in primary school and my high school friends,
5:09
Speaker 2: Porsche I have dedicated my book to because they're still
5:12
Speaker 2: my Memphis sisters. So I have this complete fondness and
5:16
Speaker 2: love and admiration for Memphis, Tennessee. It's changed, it's going
5:20
Speaker 2: through some troubles right now, but no doubt it'll come
5:23
Speaker 2: out fine. On the other end, I was married very early.
5:28
Speaker 2: I was a seventeen year old expected bride, and that
5:33
Speaker 2: did not sit well with my brand new school that
5:35
Speaker 2: I was going to in Memphis, Tennessee, Woodell High School.
5:38
Speaker 2: I was asked to leave school three months prior to
5:40
Speaker 2: graduation because that's just not that's not how they wanted
5:45
Speaker 2: to advertise their school. You know, today there are nurseries
5:47
Speaker 2: in school. That was not how it was when I
5:50
Speaker 2: was seventeen years of age. And I also planned my
5:54
Speaker 2: second child at age nineteen, so porsia, that's awfully young.
5:58
Speaker 2: I had two children, you know, when I was below
6:01
Speaker 2: the age of twenty. I was married and we were
6:06
Speaker 2: probably doomed from the start. I wanted to prove everybody wrong.
6:09
Speaker 2: That's why I planned my second child. He was the
6:12
Speaker 2: first male born in four generations of our family. No
6:16
Speaker 2: more special than my firstborn daughter, no more special at all.
6:19
Speaker 2: But it was just such an exciting time. No one
6:21
Speaker 2: could believe that I had a boy. Was It was
6:24
Speaker 2: incredibly beautiful, But in any of it. We did divorce
6:28
Speaker 2: and I went on to marry a second time down
6:31
Speaker 2: the road much later, and I am a counselor now.
6:37
Speaker 2: I graduated in twenty twenty four with my masters and
6:39
Speaker 2: counseling because my thank you so much, because my beautiful boy,
6:47
Speaker 2: my second born child, opted out in life before he
6:50
Speaker 2: was aged twenty five. He took his own life two
6:53
Speaker 2: months and one day prior to that. Porsche. My only sister,
6:58
Speaker 2: five years older than I, was just a superstar, talented,
7:02
Speaker 2: winning all sorts of art awards. When she was just
7:04
Speaker 2: a little girl. People used to call her the horse whisper.
7:07
Speaker 2: She would buy horses for other people. She was so
7:10
Speaker 2: hugely talented. She did not like people. She loved animals.
7:13
Speaker 2: She skipped the eleventh grade in high school because she
7:15
Speaker 2: was so bloody smart. Can I say that? Excuse me?
7:20
Speaker 2: She was a very intriguing and wonderful person. She scared
7:24
Speaker 2: of me, you know, she named me George. She didn't
7:27
Speaker 2: when my mother brought me home from the hospital to
7:29
Speaker 2: introduce me to Constance. Constant said, no, you brought the
7:32
Speaker 2: wrong kind home. You have to take her back. And
7:35
Speaker 2: my mother said, well, she's not going back to the hospital,
7:37
Speaker 2: and Constance said, well, her name is George. So I
7:40
Speaker 2: grew up my whole life as it's like a boy
7:42
Speaker 2: named Sue. Anyway, it was just beautiful, but Portia Constance
7:46
Speaker 2: was killed in January of two thousand on the main
7:51
Speaker 2: road to gaul Her, which is the next larger town
7:54
Speaker 2: up from Capunda. She was living in a beautiful little
7:56
Speaker 2: home in Allendale, North. She wanted to get back to
7:59
Speaker 2: her roots as a child. She wanted some farmland, she
8:01
Speaker 2: wanted some horses. And the reason I'm telling you this
8:06
Speaker 2: is because my own mother's mother, my maternal grandmother, Poortia,
8:11
Speaker 2: was killed the exact same way when my mother was
8:14
Speaker 2: only eight and a half years old. They were both
8:16
Speaker 2: ejected from their vehicle and their esophagus was crushed immediately,
8:20
Speaker 2: and it was death instantaneously. My mother never ever ever
8:24
Speaker 2: got over it, So it would be a five hour
8:27
Speaker 2: story if I told you her reaction and responses when
8:29
Speaker 2: I said, well, I've met this man and my mother
8:33
Speaker 2: was visiting Constance in Australia in the year two thousand.
8:36
Speaker 2: Do you remember the millennium when the computers were supposed
8:39
Speaker 2: to stop? You know, we weren't at a uspaper anymore.
8:43
Speaker 2: I was really jealous. I was so envious because at
8:47
Speaker 2: that time I was living in Atlanta, Georgia. I wanted
8:49
Speaker 2: my mother to be with me, but she'd already said,
8:51
Speaker 2: I'm going to be in Australia for sixty days. I'm
8:54
Speaker 2: going to be with your sister. And halfway through the
8:57
Speaker 2: trip is when I discovered that my sister had been killed.
9:03
Speaker 2: So I had an intense interest and finding out why
9:12
Speaker 2: my son did what he did. I had married a
9:14
Speaker 2: second time, thinking that bringing this man into the fold
9:18
Speaker 2: of my family was exactly what our family needed to
9:20
Speaker 2: be whole again. I didn't listen to my gut feelings.
9:24
Speaker 2: And I will tell all of your listeners it's not
9:27
Speaker 2: just an old wives tale. Our bodies and our minds
9:31
Speaker 2: are interconnected. It is important to listen to what your
9:35
Speaker 2: body is trying to knock on your door to get
9:38
Speaker 2: your attention to tell you about Please don't disregard gut feelings.
9:43
Speaker 2: That's innate, that's in us for something. I pushed him down,
9:47
Speaker 2: pushed them down, pushed down my feelings because I thought
9:49
Speaker 2: I can fix anything, I can make anything better. But
9:52
Speaker 2: I couldn't make my second marriage better. And he was.
9:55
Speaker 2: He's no longer a living but he was diagnosed with
9:57
Speaker 2: bipolar and severe personality disorder. It's a very short lived marriage. Hence,
10:02
Speaker 2: this is the reason why I went into counseling, and
10:07
Speaker 2: this is the reason why my book is based in Memphis, Tennessee,
10:11
Speaker 2: my birthplace, and this is where my marriage took place.
10:16
Speaker 2: But this book is not a memoir. This is about
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Speaker 2: all women throughout the world who are and have experienced
10:23
Speaker 2: domestic violence.
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Speaker 1: Patricia. First of all, lots of love your way. What
10:30
Speaker 1: I find is I love having these conversations because I
10:34
Speaker 1: learned so much about the stories we hold. That people
10:38
Speaker 1: are not privy to the greet the silent grief right.
10:43
Speaker 1: Lots of love to you for your son who's transitioned.
10:46
Speaker 1: Our reason for going into spaces and careers because of
10:50
Speaker 1: the traumatic things that we've went through and also have
10:54
Speaker 1: in the way for others to grant themselves permission to
10:59
Speaker 1: give them some grace for the things they didn't know right,
11:03
Speaker 1: Domestic violence holds a lot of misconceptions shame guilt, especially
11:09
Speaker 1: for women because as women were taught to just kind
11:13
Speaker 1: of be the ten man, not to show emotion, especially
11:17
Speaker 1: I'm not going to get started on being angry. I'm
11:20
Speaker 1: not even going to start on that, because that's a
11:21
Speaker 1: whole conversation we can have for a full episode about
11:25
Speaker 1: women in anger and Patricia, I love how you brought
11:28
Speaker 1: up to about the correlation and connection of the mind
11:32
Speaker 1: and the body listening to your gut when you were
11:35
Speaker 1: working on this book, Madness and Memphis. Can you share
11:40
Speaker 1: with our audience what was your body's response as you
11:44
Speaker 1: were creating your characters, Morgan Sage, I believe is a
11:49
Speaker 1: depiction of you.
11:51
Speaker 2: Well's the whole book. It's not based on me. There
11:55
Speaker 2: are incidents that were mine, personal to me, but it
11:59
Speaker 2: was brutal plus Gorsha. Since that time, I've been in
12:03
Speaker 2: professional field placement, so I've listened to lots of stories
12:06
Speaker 2: from males and females. I also have my own counseling
12:10
Speaker 2: practice at this point, very part time Tuesday through Thursday.
12:13
Speaker 2: So I've listened to further stories. And when I hear
12:17
Speaker 2: the stories from women who at the end of the
12:21
Speaker 2: day experienced domestic violence, almost as if it was on
12:26
Speaker 2: the same level as preparing family dinner or meals. They
12:31
Speaker 2: knew it was going to be in the agenda, they
12:33
Speaker 2: just didn't know what time of the day or when
12:36
Speaker 2: it was coming. I have left these sessions with such
12:41
Speaker 2: admiration and love and the feeling of I never knew
12:48
Speaker 2: so many women could be so strong so writing the book.
12:53
Speaker 2: Writing the book in some sections was just brutal. I
12:56
Speaker 2: wrote it very quickly. I'm a very fast writer. I
12:58
Speaker 2: was writing seven to nine thousand a day. My husband's
13:01
Speaker 2: very British. I don't understand the word he says, because
13:04
Speaker 2: his lips never moved when he speaks. But he would
13:06
Speaker 2: come up to me saying, I love my love, Patricia.
13:09
Speaker 2: What happens next? Give me more, feed me more. I
13:12
Speaker 2: want more. I want to know what happened. So there
13:14
Speaker 2: was a great, big rhythm to the book. The book
13:16
Speaker 2: was written quickly, but the editing process took an extremely
13:19
Speaker 2: long time, And there were sections that I wrote about
13:25
Speaker 2: that it's a dark book, Portie, Yeah, it's very and
13:29
Speaker 2: portions where I had to get up, I had to
13:31
Speaker 2: walk out of the room. There were times when I
13:33
Speaker 2: was stopping. It brought back a lot of things from
13:36
Speaker 2: this very tumultuous, destructive and negative marriage I had. But
13:42
Speaker 2: I'm also throughout everything, I smiled at the women I've met,
13:49
Speaker 2: whom I've met who've picked themselves up, walked away from situations,
13:53
Speaker 2: especially when they were so fearful of their children. Once
13:56
Speaker 2: the abuse leaves the mother or the wife and is
14:01
Speaker 2: expanded to the children, that's when most mothers, most women
14:05
Speaker 2: say this isn't happening. That's the final straw. But when
14:09
Speaker 2: they leave, when they do leave the Maytal home or
14:14
Speaker 2: where they've been living with their partner, that's when the
14:17
Speaker 2: violence normally escalates, and it can be so frightening, and
14:21
Speaker 2: that's when a lot of women are lost or die
14:24
Speaker 2: in their children, even though there's a restraining order, it's
14:28
Speaker 2: just it's a horrible cycle, just a horrible cycle. So yes,
14:32
Speaker 2: there were times when I was writing the book that
14:34
Speaker 2: I absolutely had to get get up and give myself
14:36
Speaker 2: breaks but I kept seeing the next scene in my
14:39
Speaker 2: mind like a movie, and I had to get it down.
14:42
Speaker 2: I had to get it on paper, or I would
14:44
Speaker 2: hear crescendos. I used to be in a band in
14:46
Speaker 2: high school, and I would hear great, big bouts of music,
14:49
Speaker 2: And so I knew that I felt like I was
14:50
Speaker 2: on the right track. And I don't have to keep writing.
14:52
Speaker 1: I do love writing well, and the character eventually comes
14:57
Speaker 1: to you. The character is essentially telling you the story
15:01
Speaker 1: at some point, right, And Patricia, what comes to my
15:06
Speaker 1: mind is you talked about the strength that some of
15:10
Speaker 1: these women that you've encountered have talked about in their
15:15
Speaker 1: domestic violence relationships. And I'm curious, what is a common
15:19
Speaker 1: misconception that maybe you had before you really went through
15:24
Speaker 1: anything domestic violence relationship, You know, domestic violence wise that
15:28
Speaker 1: now you see is prevalent, right, because I think there's
15:33
Speaker 1: so many different signs. But a lot of people have
15:37
Speaker 1: this notion based on what we see on television, whether
15:41
Speaker 1: it's a reality show or in a book. But reality
15:45
Speaker 1: and misconception are two different things.
15:49
Speaker 2: You hit the nail on the head. It's not that
15:52
Speaker 2: I ever thought of a person, a woman who was
15:55
Speaker 2: in a domestic violent situation was one type of woman.
15:58
Speaker 2: But there is the ubiquitous thinking that either she's involved
16:03
Speaker 2: with a drug at it or an alcoholic. She is
16:06
Speaker 2: either under educated or poorly educated because woman would be
16:11
Speaker 2: living in those circumstances and portia. Nothing could be further
16:15
Speaker 2: from the truth. Domestic violence does not discriminate. It does
16:20
Speaker 2: not matter how wealthy you are. It does not matter
16:22
Speaker 2: if you are as poor as a church mouse. It
16:26
Speaker 2: doesn't matter if you're beautiful, exquisitely presented to the community
16:31
Speaker 2: or in shambles. It does not matter if a person
16:34
Speaker 2: wants to control, if a person has set their sights
16:37
Speaker 2: on you. Male or female, my book happens to be
16:40
Speaker 2: male on female violence. We know females or monsters too,
16:43
Speaker 2: but my book is based on male on female violence
16:45
Speaker 2: because the other gender statistics have not risen to the
16:49
Speaker 2: level right a female today. So in any event, just
16:53
Speaker 2: to get that out of the way, yes, of course
16:55
Speaker 2: I know females can be monsters too, but you can't call,
17:00
Speaker 2: you can't say you don't know what's going on behind
17:04
Speaker 2: closed doors. And it seems the higher a woman is
17:09
Speaker 2: in her corporation or with her own business or you know,
17:13
Speaker 2: she's that professional woman, born to work every day with
17:15
Speaker 2: her briefcase or whatever. It's true, it seems to be
17:19
Speaker 2: the harder they fall. No one wants to admit defeat,
17:23
Speaker 2: No one wants to admit a failed marriage. And most
17:26
Speaker 2: women are saying, how did I allow myself to get
17:32
Speaker 2: into this position? What happened to my inner compass? Where
17:37
Speaker 2: did my perception? How could I perceive this person to
17:39
Speaker 2: be another way? And this person is totally different from
17:42
Speaker 2: the have you heard? Have you heard how many times
17:44
Speaker 2: have you heard a woman say after we said I do,
17:49
Speaker 2: everything changed. M So please understand that this can happen
17:56
Speaker 2: to any woman, any person, from any walk of life.
18:01
Speaker 2: And the more time a person has invested into you,
18:04
Speaker 2: the more time and energy they've put into you. When
18:08
Speaker 2: you walk out the door, they have lost all that time, energy,
18:11
Speaker 2: and effort they've put into you, and they are angry
18:15
Speaker 2: and they are not in control anymore, and they are
18:18
Speaker 2: going to do everything they possibly can to get you
18:22
Speaker 2: back into their clutches. And that's the danger.
18:25
Speaker 1: Set yeah, big time. And Patricia, I'm glad that you
18:30
Speaker 1: shine a light on the fact that domestic violence does
18:33
Speaker 1: not discriminate because I think there's this notion that you
18:37
Speaker 1: don't know anything. How could you not see the red flags? Well,
18:41
Speaker 1: you you become petrified, terrified of this person. Right, if
18:48
Speaker 1: there's kids involved and they're young, you have to decide
18:52
Speaker 1: do I stay for the kids? Do I leave? What
18:55
Speaker 1: about them? There's also that level of shame of reach
19:00
Speaker 1: for support two. Right, you have maybe a support network,
19:05
Speaker 1: but there's this do I say anything? What are they
19:09
Speaker 1: going to say about me? Am I going to be judged?
19:12
Speaker 1: I'm not even gonna go down the religious path with
19:14
Speaker 1: this because that also brings in another set of worms.
19:19
Speaker 1: And I'm curious, Patricia, for our audience who's tuning in,
19:24
Speaker 1: if there's a woman out there who's currently in a
19:29
Speaker 1: domestic violence situation, how can she give herself the grace
19:34
Speaker 1: and the love and patience to open herself up for
19:39
Speaker 1: support to get out of that situation? Because I think
19:44
Speaker 1: so many stay stuck because they're afraid, they don't feel
19:49
Speaker 1: as though they have somebody, They don't know where to go,
19:52
Speaker 1: So how can they do that today?
19:55
Speaker 2: That is, we certainly wish all the women who needed
19:58
Speaker 2: us today were listening for and they're probably not, which
20:01
Speaker 2: is so sad. It brings tears to my eyes just
20:03
Speaker 2: thinking about it. We need to be vigilant, we need
20:10
Speaker 2: to be perceptive. We need to be watching after all
20:14
Speaker 2: of our sisters, those who are closest to us. If
20:16
Speaker 2: they're in a new relationship, you know how it is,
20:19
Speaker 2: your stomach flips at the prospect of even seeing them.
20:22
Speaker 2: You hear music, their butterflies flying in the air. And
20:25
Speaker 2: every time a girlfriend gets a new guy in her
20:27
Speaker 2: life and they're madly in love where they think they are,
20:29
Speaker 2: we don't see them as much as we used to.
20:31
Speaker 2: That's the natural order of things, right, But that's okay.
20:37
Speaker 2: You know, if you wring them up, if you contact
20:38
Speaker 2: them and say, hey, I miss you, I haven't seen
20:40
Speaker 2: you in a while, and they're same old bubbly cells
20:43
Speaker 2: and oh, I'm miss you too, I love you so much.
20:44
Speaker 2: We'll catch up seeing let's let's get together next week.
20:47
Speaker 2: Well that's wonderful. But you know a lot by a
20:50
Speaker 2: person's voice. If you hear something in their voice and
20:54
Speaker 2: be persistent, you know, just show up if you have to,
20:59
Speaker 2: if you're really concerned, if her demeanor changes, if her
21:03
Speaker 2: dress has changed, if she's more inward introverted. She's not
21:07
Speaker 2: as outward as she used to be. All of these
21:11
Speaker 2: little things are red flags for a family member or
21:14
Speaker 2: a good friend to catch up, to pick up on.
21:17
Speaker 2: I mean, those are important, but if you can go
21:19
Speaker 2: over there, knock on the door. I miss her so much,
21:22
Speaker 2: she's my good friend. I have to see her. And
21:24
Speaker 2: he says, oh no, I'm so sorry, she has a headache. No,
21:28
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry she's not available. This isn't a good time,
21:31
Speaker 2: whatever excuses he gives. If you feel safe enough, you
21:35
Speaker 2: push through and say, oh no, she's my sister. It's
21:38
Speaker 2: been too long. It won't be but a minute, and
21:40
Speaker 2: you get in there. And truthfully, women, you can ask
21:46
Speaker 2: five times, six times, and a woman may go everything's okay,
21:50
Speaker 2: everything's okay. It could be that seventh time, poshe when
21:55
Speaker 2: they break and they say, I'm in a big fat mess.
22:01
Speaker 2: I don't know what to do. I don't know where
22:03
Speaker 2: to turn, and I'm afraid now. They may not have
22:07
Speaker 2: a circle of support, they may not have a tribe
22:09
Speaker 2: whatever you want to call those people surrounding you, who
22:12
Speaker 2: are the people you can depend on for any day
22:14
Speaker 2: of your life. And that's when you do suggest community
22:19
Speaker 2: centers or churches. Most of these people have lists available
22:24
Speaker 2: to help a woman who they consider to be in
22:26
Speaker 2: an emergency situation, and they'll do their best to get them.
22:31
Speaker 2: If some people won't take the help, where some people
22:33
Speaker 2: change their mind, everything is dependent upon how they feel.
22:36
Speaker 2: If they feel like their children are really, really, really
22:39
Speaker 2: in a bad space and it's filled over to the children,
22:42
Speaker 2: they're going to want to leave. If you have an
22:45
Speaker 2: extra room, if you have a country house, if you
22:48
Speaker 2: have parents who live regionally or rurally in a country
22:52
Speaker 2: space where they could take a woman in temporarily ten days,
22:56
Speaker 2: two weeks, so she can have time to think, plan,
23:02
Speaker 2: just to breathe. You need that time to breathe in
23:04
Speaker 2: the beginning. Gather your thoughts, make a plan. Sometimes you're
23:08
Speaker 2: in such fear you're leaving the house in a rush.
23:10
Speaker 2: You don't have a plan. You just want out of there.
23:13
Speaker 2: So we could be somebody safe haven for a temporary
23:16
Speaker 2: amount of time and we can save lives big time.
23:20
Speaker 1: Be aware of your surroundings and take a moment to listen. Right,
23:25
Speaker 1: it's the things that people are not saying, it's the
23:28
Speaker 1: actions that they're showing that you may not notice on
23:32
Speaker 1: a regular basis that can indicate something. Patricia, first of all,
23:38
Speaker 1: thank you again for coming on the show. We're going
23:41
Speaker 1: to be wrapping up here soon, but before we conclude
23:44
Speaker 1: our conversation for today, if our audience wants to get
23:48
Speaker 1: a copy of Madness in Memphis, If you have any
23:51
Speaker 1: upcoming events or something that you want people to be
23:54
Speaker 1: a part of and how they can connect with you
23:57
Speaker 1: on any platform, please share that with us now.
24:00
Speaker 2: Well, you're so sweet, but really and truly by your
24:03
Speaker 2: books wherever you buy your books. I love promoting small
24:06
Speaker 2: boutique privately on bookstores. I think that's really important that
24:09
Speaker 2: helps the community. But simply you need the title Madness
24:12
Speaker 2: in Memphis and my name Patricia Gordon Stevens with a V.
24:16
Speaker 2: I do have a website where there is a collection
24:19
Speaker 2: of podcasts that are being placed on the website if
24:22
Speaker 2: you want further information, and that's simply www Patricia Gordon
24:26
Speaker 2: Stephens dot com. So lots of things are happening. I'm
24:30
Speaker 2: hearing from people in Canada and the UK and Australia
24:33
Speaker 2: and America, of course. But it's important because one in
24:37
Speaker 2: four women in Australia, the United States and the United
24:41
Speaker 2: Kingdom are experiencing domestic violence. It's not acceptable.
24:46
Speaker 1: No, it's no. It's time to take vigilance, be that
24:52
Speaker 1: open arm and listening here for somebody. And if you're
24:56
Speaker 1: not sure what to do or you can't be that person,
24:59
Speaker 1: lead them some resources. Do your part, because if you're
25:04
Speaker 1: just sitting there idle idle hands or the devil's playground,
25:08
Speaker 1: and if you're not part of the solution, you're part
25:10
Speaker 1: of the problem. And I'm gonna leave it there. Well, everybody,
25:14
Speaker 1: that was Patricia Gordon Stevens that you heard from today
25:17
Speaker 1: on this episode that grew a portie. And that concludes
25:20
Speaker 1: our conversation for today and until next time. Everybody piece
25:24
Speaker 1: and hair grease. Everyone