Latest / Stronger With Sophie / Learning to Live With Loss

Transcript

Learning to Live With Loss · Stronger With Sophie

• 0:04
  Speaker A: So let's just dive straight into it. Life is hard, and sometimes it's even harder dealing with all the hard aspects that we go through.
• 0:11
  Speaker B: Absolutely. So today we're going to be talking about turning pain into purpose. And it is suicide prevention month. And as we all know, life can become overwhelming. And when it becomes overwhelming, a lot of people think about and sometimes even act on the possibility of taking their own life. And so. And that can be. Not only is it challenging and painful for the person that's going through it, but if somebody takes their life, they leave behind a lot of other people that are. That suffer tremendously because of it. And so today we are super lucky to have with us Riley Walsh on. And Riley is going to tell us his story.
• 0:55
  Speaker C: Thank you, Mr. Jimmy. Yeah, so in 2020, as we mentioned the topic of suicide, I had a dear friend of mine unfortunately decided to take his own life. He died by suicide. Five days.
• 1:10
  Speaker B: I'm so sorry, man.
• 1:11
  Speaker A: That is so hard.
• 1:12
  Speaker C: Yeah, it was five days before my 16th birthday. Covid was very rampant through schools, unfortunately, and it caused a severe amount of isolation. Yeah, I remember just, yeah, the isolation just. It really took over. And dealing with some other things going on in his life, he unfortunately felt like he had nobody to turn to. And so in an instant, the buddy I grew up with, the buddy I spent every weekend with throughout my entire youth was gone. And there was nothing I could do about it.
• 1:51
  Speaker B: I am so sorry. So what. How old were you at the time?
• 1:55
  Speaker C: I was 15, about to turn 16.
• 1:58
  Speaker B: Okay. How did you find out about it? I mean, you. This is in. During COVID So was it the time
• 2:03
  Speaker A: when the whole world is on.
• 2:05
  Speaker B: Nobody was allowed to do like we had to do six feet apart distancing and nobody was seeing each other.
• 2:11
  Speaker C: Yeah. So I wasn't even really big on social media or my phone in general. So I didn't know anything was going on, anything abnormal that night. But when my parents got home that night, there was a different look in their eye, a different way of saying I love you, communicating non verbally, a different type of hug. Honestly, I received from my parents that night and they sat us down and said, hey, your buddy took his life. So that's how we found out. And of course, the next day, schools made counseling of the utmost importance. But yeah, leading up to it, there was a lot of like hush, hush. And then nothing seemed too abnormal. And they, my parents sat us down and had to break the news.
• 2:58
  Speaker B: So how did you deal with it? Like what kind of emotions did you go through after finding out that your close friend had committed suicide?
• 3:07
  Speaker C: Very upset. Very upset. Just 100% honest. I think I bawled my eyes out for months just being held by my mom in the following months. And then, you know, something I battled the biggest or the most with is the kind of survivor's guilt. I didn't say anything.
• 3:29
  Speaker A: You didn't notice the signs?
• 3:30
  Speaker C: I didn't see the signs. I didn't reach out. I didn't, I didn't do my part, so to say, in trying to help. And so what would have happened if maybe I'd done something?
• 3:41
  Speaker B: I think that is a very, very typical reaction to a loved one committing suicide. And you don't know. You don't know what somebody else is going through. They could be.
• 3:53
  Speaker A: It's almost impossible to tell sometimes, you
• 3:55
  Speaker B: know, people, they seem completely normal and they're having this horrible inner turmoil. And then the people that they leave behind, they feel guilty for the rest of their lives because maybe I could have done something about it. But the truth is there's nothing, nothing you could have done about it. You were, you were his friend. And I'm so sorry, man.
• 4:19
  Speaker C: I appreciate that.
• 4:20
  Speaker B: All right, so how has this affected you in terms of your decision making for the future?
• 4:28
  Speaker C: Yeah, so I. In probably 2021, after everything kind of settled down, we're in a new year. We were late in 2020 when it happened. I kind of committed to myself that regardless of what I do when I grow up, I'm going to start a non profit like my own nonprofit gear towards promoting mental health awareness and suicide prevention.
• 4:52
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 4:52
  Speaker C: So that's kind of what, you know, I committed to myself. Fast forward now, almost six years later, my girlfriend and I have started this nearly nonprofit and soon to be hopefully converted to a nonprofit called Coffee for a Cause. And essentially we're partnering right now with the American foundation for Suicide Prevention and local coffee shops throughout Tallahassee leading up to out of the Darkness Walk, where we're able to raise funds for suicide prevention and mental health awareness and also get people together and encourage them to talk and just have coffee and communicate.
• 5:31
  Speaker A: That's amazing.
• 5:33
  Speaker B: There is. Every relationship is built on communication. And relationships are the juice that we get out of life. And the more that we can communicate with the people we love, then the less likely they're going to go through this trauma, the more they're going to be willing to reach out when they have problems. So I think this is an amazing idea. You're just basically promoting communication between people who care about Each other.
• 6:00
  Speaker C: Absolutely. That's kind of my driving force. It's to make sure and communicate effectively that everybody is loved. Regardless of your politics, your beliefs, your friends, how isolated you are, how in the community you are, maybe how alone you feel while being surrounded by community. Like, everybody's loved. And it's okay to talk. It's not soft to talk. It's not a cowardly move to talk. Everybody walks through some version of mental health illness, and everybody deserves the chance to feel comfortable enough to talk. And so I'm trying to advocate for that.
• 6:34
  Speaker A: That's amazing that you're doing that, first of all. And I'm just. I mean, obviously, I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that. And it's just, you know, it's incomprehensible. Like I said earlier, it really is. And going through something like that and losing someone that's so close to you, it's. It's almost like as if you don't know what to do with yourself afterwards. But you didn't. You didn't do that. You know, you. You fulfilled a purpose that you felt like you needed to do. And I think that's really. That's moving.
• 7:06
  Speaker B: You know, I wholeheartedly agree. If. Well, let me ask you this. How, in addition to the nonprofit that you're starting, how has it influenced your decision for what you're going to be doing in the future?
• 7:18
  Speaker C: Well, for one, it's definitely made me more outspoken. Even reflecting back to prior to 2020, I didn't speak to many people, if at all. And so I've one now chosen to speak up and become more bold. I've had the chance to found a Christian fraternity, FSU's campus, to bring Christian guys together on college campus. And then it's inspired me to speak up for those who think they don't have a voice. And so I am currently working through my LSAT studies as I wrap up my bachelor's degree.
• 7:50
  Speaker B: Gonna be a lawyer. I love it.
• 7:52
  Speaker C: I fully plan on becoming a lawyer. To speak up for those who are most vulnerable and think that they have no other choice but to be taken advantage of.
• 8:02
  Speaker B: Yeah, I love that. First of all, being a lawyer myself and knowing that as a lawyer, you can advocate for people that don't. They can't speak up for themselves. So this is one of the big things, the big takeaways that I want everybody to get is that the most painful times of your life. And I think it's fair to say that the most painful thing that's Ever happened to you? Absolutely.
• 8:27
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 8:29
  Speaker B: That can become the fire in your belly to do something that is going to make this world a better place. And so whenever I'm thinking, I'm trying to advise young people like my daughter Sophie about what to do with the rest of your life. And I break it down into four elements. You've got fire, water, air, and earth. And so the fire element is what. What is the most painful part of your life? Like, Sophie, I think you shared one of the most painful things that you ever went through was. Was when you had to endure a possible active shooter in Dallas, right?
• 9:13
  Speaker A: Yes.
• 9:14
  Speaker B: And so take that pain, and then that's the fire in your belly that motivates you. Then you look at the water element, which is. You ask yourself, what flows for me, what's easy for me? What am I good at? What comes easy? For example, Sophie, you are really good at speaking and writing and that kind of thing. And I know you are, too. You are very articulate, you're very intelligent. And so I think being a lawyer is a perfect. It's a perfect segue for you. And then. So that's that water element. The air element is when you put the fire and the water together, what do you get? You get steam. And with steam, you do what? You rise up. You rise up. Put the fire and the water together, you're going to rise up. And the last element, the last element is bringing it all down to earth. Bringing it all down to earth with a goal. With an actual master goal that if you achieve this goal, you will be making the world a better place by using your fire element and also using what you're good at. And so that's what it's all about. So I'm proud of you, man. You're doing amazing. You're doing amazing. All right, so let me ask you this. Once you become a lawyer, how do you see your life going forward? Like, what kind of path would you see for yourself?
• 10:38
  Speaker C: I personally see myself following something to do with contract law.
• 10:43
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 10:43
  Speaker C: Stopping bigger companies from taking advantage of just an individual person.
• 10:49
  Speaker B: Oh, I love that.
• 10:50
  Speaker C: I also just see myself protecting people wherever I can.
• 10:55
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 10:55
  Speaker C: So if there's any niche case that involves somebody, you know, being taken advantage of,
• 11:06
  Speaker B: you're actually preaching to the choir here. This is great, because I don't know if you know this, Soph, but we. When. When I was a kid, so my. So my fire element is that I. I'm only 5. 5 now, but I used. When I was. When I. When I went to. Well, this is true, I'm sure, is that when I went to kindergarten, I was only four years old, and I was the smallest kid in the entire school, Literally the shortest kid in the entire school. And throughout my whole grade school, I was always the shortest. And I used to get bullied and beat up and I spanked, and it was bad. And so that became my big fire element, is that I felt small, and I never wanted to feel small. So when I became older, I learned martial arts. I became one of the best martial artists in the entire nation for taekwondo. I. And then ultimately now as a lawyer. So I just hate bullies. I hate bullies. And so as a lawyer, I get to go up against these big corporations and help people that don't just like you, that don't have a voice.
• 12:18
  Speaker A: Right. But that's the most important part. It's the advocacy part of it.
• 12:21
  Speaker B: Yes.
• 12:23
  Speaker A: The entire just goal or the entire objective from pursuing a career in law or just wanting to start this podcast even, it's to speak up for those who can't speak up for themselves. And that's really moving. You know, that's really touching, and I feel like that's a really sweet aspect of it.
• 12:41
  Speaker B: So let me ask you this, Soph. I know that you're also. With what you've been through in Dallas, how do you think that's going to influence your path moving forward in life?
• 12:50
  Speaker A: I mean, yeah, similar to Riley, I feel like I could grow and become a better advocate for those who couldn't, who felt really silenced because of that shooting or that alleged shooting experienced, because even after it, I felt as though I couldn't really speak my mind in front of my peers.
• 13:09
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 13:09
  Speaker A: So, you know, one of my best friends, she just kind of tried to, like, belittle how my feelings sometimes after what I went through, you know, I would get sad or I would get scared if I heard a loud noise, and she'd just be like, oh, it's fine, it's fine. Like, nothing happened. No, you know, that wasn't a gunshot. And I'd just be like, okay. But I. I went through something that, you know, could lead me to react that way. And so, you know, you kind of have to let me. Let me face my trauma. And so I feel like going through that and, like, experiencing that and experiencing people who have just kind of tried to, like, shoot down the way that I felt about it made me feel like I should advocate for the people who may not feel like. Or who may feel like they're outspoken and who may Feel like, you know, their feelings just aren't valid or feel like they have, you know, they're. They're being dramatic or something like that.
• 14:06
  Speaker B: Sounds like you might want to be a personal injury lawyer.
• 14:11
  Speaker A: Is that a bias?
• 14:14
  Speaker B: Bias for me. Sounds like to me. Because that's exactly what I do every day.
• 14:19
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 14:19
  Speaker B: So, yeah, absolutely. Well, Riley Walsh, it has been an absolute pleasure talking to you, and it's
• 14:26
  Speaker A: amazing to just hear, like, the way that you are coming forward with all this. I mean, you suffered so much, and I just. I know that that must have taken such a big toll on you and the way that you were moving forward with it. It's just really impressive. And, yeah, we're proud of you.
• 14:40
  Speaker B: Very proud of you. Riley, before we go, would you. How would people be able to help support your cause?
• 14:50
  Speaker C: Yeah, so we have an Instagram and a Facebook online called Coffee for a Cause. Tallahassee, I believe is the username for it. And then attached is going to be a few links. One, you can register for the walk itself. It'll be October 3rd. It's just called an out of the darkness walk, where people are going to gather together and ultimately come together, see a huge community of people and walk to, one, represent names of those who lost. But two, remember the stories of those that came close, but ultimately they got connected and were able to be saved. And then there's also some donation links attached to it and I believe a coffee schedule. We usually meet Saturdays, so our next one will actually be down in Crawfordville this upcoming Saturday. And the following, our last one to wrap it up prior to the walk will be at Mugshots, which is another really cool story affected by mental health and just another light on mental health itself. That I think is a beautiful story.
• 16:02
  Speaker A: Well, that's amazing.
• 16:03
  Speaker B: Amazing. Awesome. Well, thank you again for tuning in.
• 16:07
  Speaker A: Thank you guys so much for watching. Make sure to tune in on YouTube, Spotify, all your other podcast listening platforms. We can't wait to see y' all later. Bye.