Latest / Cultural Wars | America Out Loud News / Stop and ask the question… Why am I here?

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Stop and ask the question… Why am I here? · Cultural Wars | America Out Loud News

0:18
Hello and welcome to America Out Loud News
0:20
Radio.
0:21
This is your man Monk, and today we're
0:24
gonna do something a little bit different.
0:26
I usually have a guest on the show,
0:30
but today you got me, and I have
0:33
you, and we're gonna enjoy this experience together,
0:36
and I appreciate you being here and lending
0:39
me your ear.
0:43
So I'm gonna give you a loaded question
0:46
to start off this monologue, I guess you
0:49
can call it.
0:54
Who are you and why are you here?
0:57
Matter of fact, we will just forget about
1:00
the who are you, and we'll stick with
1:03
the why are you here.
1:17
But I think it has to do something
1:21
with love, unconditional love, being able to experience
1:25
unconditional love for self and others.
1:29
That's the best I got right now.
1:33
Why am I here?
1:44
I went out with a group of friends,
1:48
and drinking, of course, was a huge part
1:52
of my life for about twenty plus years,
1:55
but I came back to my friend's house
1:59
after we went out that night, and she
2:03
had a closet that had was a mirror,
2:06
so it was a sliding closet door, but
2:10
the the door was a mirror, and when
2:13
I got up in the morning, I looked
2:17
at myself, and the weirdest thing happened is
2:21
as I was looking at my image, it
2:24
didn't look familiar.
2:29
I know that sounds strange, but I was
2:32
looking at my image, and somehow, yes, it
2:36
was a physical body, but there was something,
2:39
it was a disconnect, like that wasn't me,
2:43
and I started to question like who is
2:46
that?
2:51
Who am I seeing right now?
2:56
It was a strangest thing.
2:59
I I even was saying this is my
3:01
name, this is this was my experience growing
3:04
up.
3:07
Who is this person I'm looking at right
3:09
now?
3:12
And then, like I said, I was in
3:15
my drinking days, so I just went and
3:17
grabbed me a drink and started drinking again,
3:20
and just had the type of energy.
3:22
Well, oh, that was weird, and never looked
3:25
into it any further, but there'll be times
3:29
in life when you really things come up
3:32
and you just question, like, what is this
3:35
all about?
3:38
What is this human experience, and why are
3:41
we here together?
3:45
Like, why am I here in this time
3:48
period doing this thing?
3:53
These are the things I think about, like
3:57
there has to be some type of pattern
4:01
or purpose to all of this, and if
4:06
we don't get to the point where we
4:10
can say, hey, this is what it is,
4:14
then I don't think we are giving our
4:19
life experience justice.
4:25
I don't believe we're here to just struggle
4:28
and work, get on the hamster wheel, and
4:32
die.
4:39
I believe we're 100% here on purpose, and
4:42
if you're listening to this right now, you're
4:45
100% supposed to be listening to this right
4:48
now.
4:51
There's nothing that we ever experienced that we
4:54
weren't supposed to experience.
4:57
There's nothing that we excuse me ever heard
5:01
that we weren't supposed to hear, even if
5:04
we didn't like the experience, or we didn't
5:08
like what we heard, we were supposed to
5:12
experience it, and we were supposed to get
5:15
something from it.
5:23
Why am I here?
5:35
When we come into this world, we basically
5:40
come in with a blank slate as far
5:44
as having this human experience.
5:49
I mean, of course, if you believe in
5:51
reincarnation or whatever you believe in, maybe you
5:53
think this is not the truth.
5:58
So we're just gonna say that okay, you
6:02
come in blank slate, and then you're given
6:06
you're given your hard drive, you're giving your
6:10
programming, and this really is a hard pill
6:14
to swallow for some people because they believe
6:18
that they move the way they move because
6:21
they chose to, and all their decisions were
6:25
made from them, and all their beliefs came
6:29
directly from.
6:40
So when you believe that you every one
6:42
of your thoughts came from you, then you're
6:45
gonna have to own that when you make
6:48
those bad decisions.
6:52
See, I know my belief system was given
6:54
to me.
6:56
Because I've done work on myself to the
7:00
Negative beliefs that I was holding on to
7:00
point where these negative beliefs that I was
7:03
and justifying, I had to really see them
7:04
holding on to and justifying, I had to
7:06
for what they were and where they came
7:08
from.
7:08
really see them for what they were and
7:13
where they came from, and in order to
7:16
And in order to heal, because I was
7:17
heal, because I was raised in a very
7:20
raised in a very dysfunctional house, a lot
7:21
dysfunctional house, a lot of trauma, traumatic experiences,
7:24
of trauma, traumatic experiences, on top of that,
7:25
on top of that, didn't
7:29
didn't receive the attention or the love that
7:33
I needed, which is also traumatic.
7:37
Didn't have a father because he passed away
7:40
due to his addiction when I was about
7:43
three and a half.
7:46
That was traumatic, even though I was young.
7:51
You got to understand how your environment and
7:56
your caregivers, how that shapes and molds you,
8:00
and creates the lens with which you see,
8:05
and even if you become very successful in
8:10
society's eyes, you know, the picket fence, white
8:15
picket fence, the two kids, the suburbs, the
8:20
good job, you went to college, you checked
8:24
off all the boxes, right?
8:30
All this stuff is supposed to make you
8:32
feel a certain type of way, right?
8:38
And then you check off all the boxes,
8:42
and everything is great because you're still checking
8:47
off boxes, and then you check off that
8:52
last box, and you think there's going to
8:56
be fireworks and happiness and peace and fulfillment,
9:01
and then nothing, you feel no different.
9:08
A matter of fact, you're like, what's next?
9:11
I thought that this was going to give
9:14
me what I wanted, and it didn't.
9:17
Now what?
9:19
You see this a lot with athletes that
9:21
finally you know get to the top of
9:23
their game and they think it's gonna be
9:25
it's gonna make them feel a certain type
9:27
of way, and it doesn't.
9:30
Or entrepreneurs that say, you know, once you
9:33
get a million dollars, you're gonna feel a
9:36
certain type of way and you don't, or
9:39
you're going to school for years and years
9:42
and years, and you finally become that doctor
9:45
or that lawyer, and you think once that
9:49
happens that happiness will show up, and it
9:52
doesn't.
9:58
Let's circle back around to the question.
10:01
Why am I here?
10:09
If you are not doing what you're supposed
10:13
to be doing, because I believe that we
10:17
all came here to do something, but if
10:21
you're not living your purpose, I this is
10:25
my belief now.
10:30
It's gonna be it's gonna feel like something
10:33
is always off or missing.
10:37
So even though you have everything in society's
10:40
eyes that says that you should be happy,
10:43
you're not because you're you're not doing what
10:47
you came here to do, and it doesn't
10:50
have to be grand, it doesn't have to
10:53
be big.
10:59
Purpose can be quiet, it doesn't have to
11:02
make a lot of money, it could be
11:06
being a checker in a supermarket, but everybody
11:10
that comes through your line, you make a
11:14
connection with that person, you uplift their day,
11:17
maybe that's your purpose.
11:23
Who knows?
11:24
But I truly believe when you are living
11:27
your purpose, because you are here on purpose,
11:30
that's for sure.
11:34
The odds of you being here in human
11:37
form, they say are one in four hundred
11:40
trillion now.
11:44
With that information, you tell me you're not
11:48
here on purpose, we are one hundred percent
11:52
here for something, and I think the more
11:56
that we heal, the more that we grow,
12:00
the more that we start to release the
12:04
programs that are controlling our life, the clearer
12:08
we see the patterns.
12:17
One of my favorite sayings is once you
12:20
let go of who you're not, there you
12:23
are.
12:28
It's not about getting something, it's about letting
12:33
go of what's not you, and that is
12:38
challenging because usually by the time we even
12:43
question ourselves, we've identified with this the ego
12:49
self for decades, and we wonder why we
12:54
still don't feel we feel like there's something
12:59
off, we don't have peace in our life.
13:10
I really believe that there's there's something inside
13:15
of every human that already knows, there's a
13:20
knowing there, be still and know.
13:28
There's something we've all experienced intuition, things that
13:34
really can't be explained, things you just knew,
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there's a knowing in everyone, and we've all
13:45
had those experiences where we just knew, but
13:50
trauma, it's not just things that happened to
13:56
you, it's also things that you didn't receive,
14:00
But trauma.
14:01
and that can be tricky because you could
14:04
It's not just things that happened to you.
14:07
have everything, you know, look back at your
14:08
It's also things that you didn't receive.
14:13
childhood and say, you know, we had everything
14:15
And that can be tricky because you could
14:18
have everything, you know, look back at your
14:18
that we needed, but what about a parents
14:21
childhood and said, you know, we had everything
14:24
that we needed, but what about parents being
14:24
being emotionally available for you?
14:27
emotionally available for you?
14:30
Or showing you affection.
14:35
Or talking down to you could be a
14:37
thing.
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Never being good enough.
14:42
Never being validated.
14:47
All of these things have an effect on
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the child, which then has an effect on
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the adult.
14:58
We look around and we think that you
15:00
know, all everybody that's over a certain age
15:02
is an adult.
15:06
Almost everybody that's out there is a wounded
15:08
child.
15:16
There still needs to address those wounds.
15:26
But the only way we can actually address
15:31
those wounds is we have to be aware
15:35
enough to see the patterns, to see the
15:39
loops, see the cycles.
15:46
If not, they just continue in the background,
15:50
controlling our life, controlling how we feel, how
15:54
we move, how we act, our relationships.
16:05
And I often talk about mindfulness, and this
16:09
is why I've it's so important, because if
16:14
we're not aware of something, it controls us.
16:22
Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will
16:24
direct your life and you will call it
16:26
fate.
16:30
Carl Young.
16:34
What are you not seeing?
16:42
Hmm.
16:50
When I when we when I come back
16:53
off a break, I want to continue to
16:57
talk about the child because the child.
17:02
That's where it all starts.
17:05
And I will talk about that when we
17:06
come back off a break.
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America Outloud.news, liberty and justice for all.
19:26
Welcome back to America Out Loud News Radio.
19:30
This is your man Monk, and I was
19:32
just talking about childhood trauma, and I got
19:34
a funny story for you.
19:39
Believe it or not.
19:42
Roaches, yes, those things that crawl around was
19:46
part of my childhood trauma.
19:51
And when I tell you we had roaches,
19:55
it was it was the unbelievable amount of
19:59
roaches we had in our house.
20:04
Every time we come back from church, we
20:06
flick on the light and just get to
20:08
stumping.
20:13
I told you, we we had everything about
20:15
our family was dysfunctional.
20:19
Everything about our family was dysfunctional.
20:22
So what I'm telling you right now is
20:24
roaches, when I think of them, I've I've
20:26
cried as a child.
20:35
It was traumatic for me.
20:37
It was really traumatic for me.
20:39
I tell you uh a story about a
20:41
roach uh that I had experienced with the
20:44
roach, but I'm not gonna tell you that
20:46
because uh it'll probably make you throw up
20:49
in your mouth.
20:52
So we're gonna go ahead and skip that
20:53
story.
20:54
But just know it was no good.
20:57
So trauma can come in many, many forms.
21:00
Many forms, things that you that happen to
21:01
Things that you that happen to you, like
21:04
you, like physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse,
21:05
physical abuse, sexual abuse, um uh verbal abuse,
21:07
or it can come in in things that
21:09
or it can come in in things that
21:11
aren't are so noticeable, like neglect, you know,
21:13
aren't are so uh noticeable, like neglect, you
21:15
not getting affection that you needed, not getting
21:17
know, not getting affection that you needed, not
21:18
the attention that you needed, not getting the
21:21
getting the attention that you needed, not getting
21:22
stimulation that you needed from either, you know,
21:25
the stimulation that you needed.
21:26
it could be your mom or your dad,
21:30
or both.
21:38
So in order to do something about it,
21:42
you have to be aware that it's happening,
21:47
and usually it takes some event, because the
21:51
the longer you go with these same programs,
21:56
they just continue to be reinforced, so they
22:00
become more real to you, and now you
22:05
just think this is what life is like,
22:09
and it's miserable, I am miserable.
22:19
So we have to get to the point
22:23
to where something shakes us up, something makes
22:26
us look in a in another direction, and
22:30
it's usually a big event, is or a
22:33
rock bottom for some people, you know.
22:37
You have to get to that point where
22:40
your world is so shook that you start
22:43
looking for other ways, start looking for what
22:46
is this all about, you know.
22:49
I gotta, I'm it gotta snap you out
22:52
of it, and for me, it was um,
22:56
it was uh bleeding.
22:59
I started bleeding from alcohol, and that was
23:03
that shook me up, you know.
23:07
I had experiences that were pretty tough, but
23:10
I guess they weren't tough enough for me
23:14
to question how I was living, but that
23:18
made me question how I was living, and
23:22
it's it's really a blessing because without that,
23:26
I just would have continued on this dysfunctional
23:30
with this dysfunctional behavior, you know, starting fires
23:34
everywhere.
23:38
If that wouldn't have happened, I wouldn't have
23:43
changed, I wouldn't have questioned my behavior, and
23:49
I know some people may be listening right
23:54
now that say, Well, I'm not an addict,
23:59
or you know, nothing really bad has happened,
24:04
but addiction comes in all different forms, it
24:09
could be prescription medication, it can be expensive
24:15
wine, gambling, sex, food, how about your phone,
24:20
scrolling, you know, the the street drug addict
24:25
and the alcoholic, that negative connotation that comes
24:30
with it, it's no different than any other
24:36
addiction, you're trying to cope, money doesn't make
24:41
you not addicted, a big house doesn't make
24:46
you not addicted, and I'm guilty of this
24:51
because back in the day when I was
24:57
full-on alcoholic, but I was functioning, I would
25:02
look down on people that may have a
25:07
you know may have had a brown bag
25:12
and were drinking out on the street and
25:17
stumbling around and you know, looking like the
25:23
the stereotypical alcoholic, and I had nice cars,
25:28
rims and money, and I didn't have a
25:33
problem in my mind, it's no different, it's
25:38
no different at all.
25:44
I was searching for a solution, and something
25:48
that could not give me an answer.
25:55
How often do we do that?
26:01
Can you honestly say right now that life
26:03
is good for you?
26:14
I hope the answer is yes, life is
26:17
good for me, but if it's not, we
26:20
got we got to do some investigation because
26:24
we're not here to suffer, we're not here
26:27
to suffer.
26:31
That's not why we're here.
26:32
Suffering isn't is it's gonna happen, yes, but
26:37
that's not that's not what it's about.
26:47
I think one of my purposes here, on
26:53
top of you know, being able to experience
26:59
unconditional love and to receive it and to
27:05
give it was to break generational cycles to
27:11
learn about myself so much that I can
27:17
give a different message to the people I
27:23
come in contact with to my children, but
27:29
in order to do that, you have to
27:35
be able to accept yourself fully right now,
27:41
everything about you of love, everything about you
27:47
is worthy of love, there's not one thing
27:53
about you that's not worthy of love when
27:59
I was a personal trainer, and sometimes I
28:00
About you that's not worthy of love.
28:05
still do that, but mostly now I just
28:08
When I was a personal trainer, and sometimes
28:10
I still do that, but mostly now I
28:11
do coaching, but when I was a personal
28:13
just do coaching.
28:16
But when I was a personal trainer, I
28:17
trainer, I would tell my clients without fully
28:20
would tell my clients without fully accepting yourself
28:23
accepting yourself right now, the way you are.
28:24
right now, the way you are, you'll never
28:28
accept yourself.
28:33
You're always going to see something that's wrong.
28:40
But if you can accept yourself right now
28:42
in your current state, and I'm talking to
28:44
everybody that's listening right now, this is for
28:46
you.
28:49
If you can accept yourself right now in
28:53
your current state, then as you grow in
28:56
heal, you will always be able to accept
29:00
yourself throughout the whole process.
29:05
But if you can't do that, you're always
29:07
going to find something that's not right, something
29:10
that's wrong with you, something that you can't
29:12
accept.
29:17
You ever heard people say, when I get
29:19
this, then I'll be happy.
29:21
When I get this, it's always about when
29:23
something else happens.
29:32
Happiness does not come from the outside.
29:37
Happiness is an inside job.
29:43
You know, people think that things will bring
29:47
them happiness, but what happens is happiness is
29:52
this activated from within you.
29:59
Can you go by happiness somewhere?
30:01
I want to know if you can go
30:02
by happiness.
30:03
Is there a happiness store?
30:06
Where you can go in and purchase some.
30:08
Where does it come from?
30:09
Where can you buy it?
30:11
Because if you can buy it from somewhere,
30:12
I shall want to buy some.
30:16
Everything that you've ever felt came from you.
30:25
Like I said, you it can be activated,
30:28
but it still was in you.
30:32
You can't buy a car that comes with
30:35
happiness, but that car can activate something in
30:38
you, it's going to be temporary, but for
30:40
a short for a short while you're going
30:43
to feel something.
30:46
Same with new relationships.
30:48
That's why new relationships in the beginning feel
30:49
a certain way, and after a while, they
30:51
don't.
30:59
Everything you've ever felt came from you.
31:16
So when I work with clients, and they
31:19
complain about so-and-so made them feel this way,
31:22
or a certain situation made a feel a
31:24
certain way.
31:27
And I say, nobody or nothing can make
31:32
you feel a certain way.
31:36
Now, like I said, it can activate a
31:39
feeling, but it can't make you feel a
31:42
certain way.
31:45
And once that feeling comes up, now you
31:46
have a choice what you want to do
31:47
with that.
31:55
The people that are hardest to get along
31:57
with are your biggest teachers.
32:01
The ones that know how to push your
32:05
buttons, those are the ones, those are the
32:08
ones that's going to help you grow.
32:14
If you see the opportunity.
32:56
Flaws and all, ain't no one perfect out
32:59
here, right?
33:01
We all got flaws, but we can work
33:05
on ourselves every single day.
33:12
I think it's the fear, it's the fear
33:15
that was given to us that really is
33:17
our biggest obstacle.
33:20
I think everything falls under two umbrellas.
33:26
Love or fear.
33:42
And all the things, the things, the emotions
33:46
that we like to experience, all fall under
33:50
love, kindness, compassion, etc.
33:55
etc.
33:56
Under fear, you got jealousy and anger.
33:59
It's all rooted in fear, and that's the
34:03
reason why the book that I wrote is
34:08
called Love Over Fear, because I think that
34:13
love can transmute fear, and I think when
34:18
we make decisions from fear, they don't really
34:23
work out too too well for us.
34:29
And people that have gone through a lot
34:33
of trauma, they're off usually the decisions all
34:37
come from trauma, which is a fear-based.
34:46
I tell my clients that I work with,
34:48
don't ever make a decision while you're in
34:51
a state of fear.
34:58
Those usually don't turn out in your favor.
35:00
In your favor.
35:05
But the mind is a strong, strong, strong
35:05
But the mind is a strong, strong, strong
35:07
thing.
35:10
And once that mind has been programmed, it
35:10
thing, and once that mind has been programmed,
35:15
takes work to reprogram it.
35:15
it takes work to reprogram it.
35:20
You literally can rewire your mind.
35:20
You literally can rewire your mind.
35:26
It happened to me.
35:27
So I know for a fact that this
35:27
So I know for a fact that.
35:29
is a fact.
35:34
If you have the same mind, that same
35:38
mind will make the same type of decisions
35:41
in the same type of situations.
35:51
You change your mind.
35:53
You change your life.
35:56
It's that simple.
36:00
Now don't get me wrong, changing your mind
36:01
is not simple.
36:06
That takes some work.
36:11
It took me years of sitting.
36:18
Be still and know.
36:20
Years of presence.
36:24
Years of awareness of my own patterns.
36:29
And being able to make different decisions in
36:34
similar situations that started to rewire.
36:40
Make new neural connections in my mind to
36:45
change my default mode.
36:52
And that's what has to happen in order
36:54
for you to start to make different decisions
36:57
on a regular basis.
36:59
That default mode, aka the reprogramming has to
37:03
take place.
37:07
Now you're moving with a different mind.
37:12
Or mind set.
37:15
But I'll talk a little bit more about
37:18
that when I come back from break.
37:20
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That is TWC.
38:59
And welcome back.
39:00
Before we went on a break, I was
39:03
talking about reprogramming the mind.
39:05
And I'll just give you a little example
39:07
of how that happened for me.
39:09
I didn't intentionally set out to do it,
39:12
but there's certain things that you can do
39:15
that will do it without your consent, I
39:18
guess, because that's what happened to me.
39:23
So meditation.
39:33
But I was still dealing with a lot
39:35
of internal stuff.
39:38
I was angry, I was in victim mode,
39:40
I was just, I didn't know what to
39:42
do with myself.
39:53
My crutch was removed, my alcohol was gone.
39:59
And then I do not know, I do
40:01
not remember because I've been clean for going
40:04
on 18 years, it'll be 18 years in
40:06
August.
40:10
So I don't know how that meditation dropped
40:14
into my head.
40:24
For these things to come in, but I
40:26
didn't know.
40:30
I don't know what that was.
40:32
Um I was indoctrinated with religion and everything
40:35
else.
40:37
I was in doctrine.
40:38
I never even experienced or even heard people
40:41
really talk about meditation and what that was.
40:44
Of course, I've heard of it before, but
40:46
I had no idea what it was.
40:48
To the point where I had to look
40:49
it up.
40:51
So once that meditation dropped in, like, you
40:54
know, basically look, look meditation, what maybe meditation
40:58
might work because I was really in a
41:01
bad, bad place mentally, emotionally, just you know,
41:05
and then all I'm still worried about all
41:08
the bleeding and stuff that was was happening.
41:12
It wasn't at this point, but I was
41:14
so afraid, I didn't want to go even
41:16
get that checked out.
41:18
I'm like, man, I really messed myself up.
41:22
My father passed away at 36 from his
41:24
alcoholism, and it was I was 38 when
41:27
this started happening to me, and I was
41:30
like, it came for me.
41:34
Like it came for me.
41:36
My mom used to tell me, you remind
41:38
me of your father, and now I realize
41:40
what she was saying, it was coming for
41:42
me.
41:45
For those of you that do have a
41:49
problem with substances, and you use it as
41:52
a way of dipping out, because of course
41:56
that's what I was doing.
41:59
I didn't like the way I felt, I
42:00
Like the way I felt, I was insecure,
42:03
was insecure, and alcohol made me feel like
42:04
and alcohol made me feel like I I
42:06
I I don't I can't even really fully
42:09
don't I can't even really fully explain.
42:10
explain.
42:13
It made me feel like I was confident.
42:13
It made me feel like I was confident.
42:19
Um, when I drank, I I was life
42:19
When I drank, I I was life of
42:22
of the party, all my insecurities got suppressed.
42:22
the party, all my insecurities got suppressed.
42:25
Um I fit in for once in my
42:25
Um I fit in for once in my
42:27
life, I never felt like I.
42:28
life, I never felt like I fit in.
42:31
It really was life changing as far as
42:35
my whole personality, but with substance, it's like
42:39
using a credit card.
42:44
You you can you can spin now, but
42:46
you're gonna pay later.
42:50
And I was I was I couldn't, I
42:52
couldn't pay that credit card bill, and it
42:55
was about to take me out.
43:00
So when that meditation came through, I said,
43:02
okay, let me try this.
43:06
Now I didn't know what it was gonna
43:09
do at all.
43:12
I didn't know what it was gonna do,
43:14
but I didn't know what to do, so
43:17
I did it, and at first I sat
43:19
down for maybe five or ten minutes and
43:22
had a very busy mind.
43:26
I didn't enjoy it.
43:29
Uh it's it was pretty scary at times
43:32
because you know your fears and all that
43:35
stuff starts coming up when you when you
43:38
go shut down your eyes and go into
43:41
your inner world, there's things in there that
43:44
you've been trying to avoid, especially if you
43:47
were had a substance issue because you suppress
43:49
so much.
43:53
Every time you feel like you know something's
43:55
coming up, you drink it away.
43:57
So now all these things are coming up,
44:00
but I got through the initial experience of
44:04
all these things coming up, these scary things,
44:07
and I was able to sit with it,
44:10
and the more I sat, I mean, first
44:13
of all, the more clarity I had, but
44:16
I started to in some of those sessions
44:20
really feel a sense of calm and peace.
44:24
It wasn't all the time, but every once
44:27
in a while, it was it felt like
44:31
spaciousness, like I was in a big empty
44:35
room, and it was just I was still
44:38
aware, but there was nothing there, and then
44:42
I started to get physical sensations as I
44:46
was meditating, like out of this world type
44:49
experiences.
44:53
I started to get, and I in that
44:55
point, I know some people would have been
44:56
like, well, I ain't gonna do this no
44:58
more.
45:00
For me, though, I took it as something
45:03
is really happening, I don't quite know what
45:05
it is, but something is happening because I'm
45:08
not trying to do these things, and I
45:11
had no idea because I like I said,
45:14
I had to look it up, but I
45:16
didn't know what the the positive effects of
45:19
it would be or any effects of it.
45:22
I didn't look it up that much, just
45:24
how to do it, I didn't know what
45:26
possibly could happen.
45:28
So all these experiences were real because I
45:32
didn't know what was gonna happen, and after
45:36
I started having these experiences, I would look
45:39
them up because you know we had Google
45:43
and at this time, and I would look
45:46
them up, and they were a real thing,
45:50
it was a real thing, like these experiences
45:53
I was having were called something, it was
45:57
real, so now I'm having these real experiences
46:01
that are really hard to explain.
46:05
Matter of fact, I didn't even want to
46:08
tell my wife about these experiences that I
46:11
was having because she probably would have thought
46:14
I was crazy or something, but I continued,
46:17
I continued on, and it and it got
46:20
to the point to where spiritual, like it
46:23
was a spiritual awakening.
46:27
I started to see clearly, and I I
46:31
started to move so different, and I started
46:36
to see the connection, and I started to
46:40
see the lies, and I was able to
46:45
filter out wasn't what wasn't real.
46:50
I just I took on a level of
46:53
discernment, I started to see the connection between
46:57
me and everyone else, it was really like
47:01
I I was unplugged.
47:06
Every most everybody's seen the movie The Matrix.
47:10
When I tell you, your programming is just
47:15
like that when you're unplugged in, but when
47:20
you see the truth, something happens when you
47:24
see the truth, something happens, and you realize
47:29
there is really no separation, and let's circle
47:34
all the way back around.
47:38
Why am I here?
47:48
And what you do while you're here is
47:54
important, don't think that your existence doesn't matter,
48:00
you matter way more than you think when
48:05
I look at people, I see myself, especially
48:11
in babies, but if I look at the
48:17
drug addict, I see myself, if I look
48:23
at the alcoholic, I see myself.
48:29
If I look at the genius, I see
48:34
myself, I see myself in everyone, and we've
48:39
all had those experiences with babies, the the
48:44
babies that were are young enough to not
48:48
already be programmed.
48:54
Do you see how they look at you?
48:57
Do you know why they look at you
48:58
like that?
49:00
Because they see the real you.
49:01
Because they see the real you, they don't
49:05
They don't see the you that you think
49:05
see the you that you think that you
49:06
that you are.
49:10
are, they see beyond that, and then when
49:11
They see beyond that.
49:13
And then when you look at them, you
49:14
you look at them, you connect on that
49:16
connect on that level.
49:19
level, both of you are connecting beyond the
49:23
program.
49:24
Both of you are connecting beyond the program.
49:31
And that's why we always feel the way
49:33
we do when we look at them or
49:36
make eye contact with them young children.
49:40
We're seeing a part of us that is
49:42
real.
49:50
So I would have to say through the
49:53
years of meditation and also becoming a meditation
49:56
instructor because it changed my life so much.
49:59
I did have a spiritual awakening.
50:05
And I'm not saying that I'm fully awake,
50:08
but I'm awake enough to know what it
50:11
is.
50:17
To see the truth that these sages and
50:20
religious, you know, the prophets and you know,
50:24
the Buddha, the Christ, the Krishna's, what they
50:28
were talking about.
50:37
The truth about what it is, not in
50:44
religious context, right?
50:52
That's one of the issues.
50:54
That's one of the problems, the programming.
51:11
Anything that separates me from you, I don't
51:14
want it.
51:17
Anything that brings us together, I'm all for
51:19
it.
51:24
That's how I judge, quote, unquote, good or
51:26
bad.
51:30
If it brings us together, good.
51:34
If it separates us, bad.
51:40
So that's how I roll.
51:44
And with that spiritual awakening, it translated to
51:48
how I treat others in my relationships.
51:58
Now, when you can see everybody as an
52:00
extension of yourself, and you love yourself, guess
52:03
what?
52:05
You love others.
52:10
You don't have to like how they move
52:13
or their behavior, but you can still love
52:16
them.
52:21
Like I said, unconditional love.
52:26
Unconditional love.
52:28
No matter what.
52:36
I love you no matter what.
52:39
You are worthy of love.
52:45
So it changed my relationships with the people
52:47
I know and the people I don't know.
52:54
To me, nobody is a stranger.
52:58
It changed the way I parented.
53:06
The messages that I gave my children.
53:10
Now my older children seen a different version
53:12
of me.
53:16
Completely different version of me than my youngest
53:18
child.
53:23
And I can see how that affected them.
53:27
And what they struggle with now.
53:34
Because believe it or not, I used to
53:36
be out there.
53:39
The drugs, the alcohol, the occasional violence, the
53:44
cheating, the lying, the stealing, the robbing.
53:52
Yeah.
53:57
And when I tell people this, you know.
54:02
The biggest compliment that I get is, well,
54:05
at least I take it as a compliment.
54:10
When I tell them this, they say, no,
54:12
you didn't.
54:15
Nah.
54:17
You didn't used to do that stuff.
54:25
I take that as a compliment.
54:28
Even if you think I'm lying, I take
54:30
it as a compliment.
54:35
That means I am no longer that person.
54:42
I have changed completely.
54:49
I went from selfish to selfless.
54:54
Of course, you must always put yourself first,
54:56
but not in a selfish way.
55:01
But when we know that we're here to
55:05
serve others, man, the feeling that you get.
55:12
The feeling that you get, being able to
55:16
assist somebody else.
55:22
In whatever way you assist them.
55:27
It's just it's a love exchange that is
55:30
really beautiful.
55:38
It's just a privilege to be able to,
55:41
it's a privilege to be able to serve.
55:51
To be able to, you know, to have
55:54
survived what you survived and to see the
55:57
truth and see the light and to carry
56:00
And to carry that light out into the
56:00
that light out into the world.
56:01
world.
56:06
Be the change that you want to see.
56:06
Be the change that you want to see.
56:19
Yes, life.
56:19
Yes, life.
56:21
Life is also a four-letter word.
56:21
Life is also a four letter word.
56:27
L O.
56:27
L O V E.
56:35
Why am I here?
56:40
That's the answer.
56:44
Have a beautiful rest of your day.
56:47
Talk to you soon.