Latest / The Facts with Jamal 🇺🇸🦅👊 / The case of parents wanting to be their children’s friend and the repercussions of being that.

Transcript

The case of parents wanting to be their children’s friend and the repercussions of being that. · The Facts with Jamal 🇺🇸🦅👊

• 0:02
  Do you know what's lacking? Today's I.
• 0:06
  Well, first on there's a good handful of things.
• 0:10
  Let's get down the way. But do you know what's really
• 0:15
  standing out more so than anything else?
• 0:21
  Discipline, accountability and enforcing rules Slash punch.
• 0:31
  See, the problem is is that particularly if you have if
• 0:36
  you're a parent that is a kid slash teenager, there's not
• 0:41
  enough of a true emphasis on discipline your children,
• 0:50
  because nowadays if you even try to enforce any kind of
• 0:56
  discipline on them, people will call it quote UN quote abuse.
• 1:05
  And you see why me kids nowadays act out the way they do because
• 1:14
  it's the old saying goes it all starts at home.
• 1:23
  But for certain group of people that more so applies.
• 1:33
  And look, and yes, I'm referring to the black community once
• 1:37
  again, here is why them in particular, I don't know what it
• 1:46
  is that they're doing and quite frankly, it's none of my
• 1:49
  business. However, what is more so
• 1:57
  obviously anything is that many of these parents don't want to
• 2:01
  be their children's parent. They want to be their friend.
• 2:12
  You are a parent. You are not your child's friend.
• 2:23
  See, when you try to be your child's friend instead of their
• 2:29
  actual parent, you're giving them, you know, the ability to
• 2:35
  do whatever they want and not feel as if they had to take
• 2:39
  accountability for anything. Because when that happens, you
• 2:44
  put them in a spot to where they can escape consequences, not be
• 2:53
  held accountable for their shortcomings, and you open the
• 2:59
  Pandora's box that's going to be difficult to maintain the close.
• 3:05
  And you can see why a good handful of them ultimately
• 3:08
  translate that to society. Let me all tell you this, I am
• 3:19
  fortunate still to have both my parents in life even you know my
• 3:27
  grandmother's to an extent and along with uncles as well.
• 3:36
  Those great individuals, they would whoop my ass if they
• 3:43
  called me acting out in public, certainly in schools, OK, Even
• 3:51
  when I became an adult, they still would make their feelings,
• 3:59
  maybe not in a enforcement kind of way, but in a way that will
• 4:06
  wrestling for me. Now obviously I don't have to
• 4:09
  worry about that, obviously, since I'm now kind of not having
• 4:16
  to worry about that. But if I was at a younger age,
• 4:20
  oh, trust me, I would've gotten it.
• 4:26
  So why are they as far as the parents of today, why are they
• 4:33
  so hesitant on discipline of children?
• 4:37
  Could it be because, you know, they don't want to experience,
• 4:44
  have their children experience rather what they went through
• 4:49
  when they were kids at a different point in time?
• 4:57
  Or is it because they think that enforcing strict punishment
• 5:04
  isn't the way to go? Whatever the case is, whatever
• 5:08
  the you know, theory behind it, there was no, you know, right
• 5:15
  way to answer. There is, however, a method to
• 5:24
  the Magnus because if you can't hold your children accountable
• 5:33
  for even the smallest mistake, then what do you think is going
• 5:41
  to happen when they end up finding themselves in serious
• 5:46
  trouble to where they could potentially spend years behind
• 5:51
  bars and you can't do anything about?
• 5:59
  Because then, and this is, I guess, more common than
• 6:02
  anything, then that's when you see many parents grapple with
• 6:09
  two questions. What as a parent I didn't?
• 6:15
  What did I not do as a parent that I could have done
• 6:19
  differently to maybe prevent all this from happening to where my
• 6:27
  child is behind bars potentially for rest their lives?
• 6:33
  Or what was it I overlooked that should have been right in front
• 6:39
  of me from the beginning that I could prevent?
• 6:49
  To be honest with you, I don't believe there would have been,
• 6:54
  as far as you know, the first question.
• 6:58
  If you're a parent, there was anything you could have did
• 7:00
  differently to change the outcome.
• 7:06
  Now it's up to your child to take in what you supposedly are
• 7:16
  teaching now, but usually what goes in one year goes out the
• 7:21
  other, meaning it doesn't always stay in the person.
• 7:28
  So yes, the children have to take self accountability in that
• 7:35
  aspect, but the truth is you as a parent can only do us so much.
• 7:51
  Because at the end of the day, you can try teaching the basic
• 7:55
  foundations of life, but it is up to them to actually listen
• 8:03
  and to accept those things and from a distance in some
• 8:08
  instances. You just have to hope that it
• 8:14
  works out and everything will be fine for them in the long.
• 8:23
  Unfortunately, not all of those scenarios end in the ideal way.
• 8:32
  So it's like, you know, for me, another I see, you know, if
• 8:39
  they're the ages, let's say between 817 years old, what have
• 8:45
  you, they end up being, you know, locked up for, well, it
• 8:52
  could be just something small, some pay crime that elevates
• 8:57
  into a serious matter. I think to myself, first of all,
• 9:02
  if they get into that situation, they have to own up too.
• 9:06
  Secondly, where were the parents in all this?
• 9:12
  See, everyone talks about how much parents, more so if your
• 9:18
  father in that community should play a heavy role.
• 9:27
  Yet there's not enough of a true emphasis on trying to keep your
• 9:34
  kids in the right direction to where if you don't ultimately
• 9:39
  keep tabs on them, they could ultimately be doing things have
• 9:46
  no business doing. So it's a like a double edged
• 9:53
  sword in a way, absolutely. Because everybody's to blame for
• 9:58
  why, you know, their children ultimately end up getting in
• 10:02
  trouble. Yes, the children have to own it
• 10:07
  to their side of it, but so do the parents.
• 10:12
  Because it's like whatever your child did, regardless of the
• 10:18
  seriousness of the matter, what they did, in essence, it's more
• 10:25
  of a reflection on you. You get that Whatever they did,
• 10:34
  supposedly it's a reflection on you because you're trying to
• 10:40
  teach them to conduct themselves in the right way, and in one
• 10:45
  instance only takes a serious crime or two and now all goes
• 10:52
  away immediately. So in the end, discipline,
• 11:00
  accountability and enforcing punishment shouldn't be even
• 11:06
  controversial in today's society.
• 11:10
  Unfortunately, because the way people look at things now, it's
• 11:15
  frowned upon. Don't let anyone tell you that
• 11:23
  enforcing rules, discipline, structure is a bad thing, and
• 11:27
  certainly you cannot be hesitant to not wanna hold your children
• 11:33
  accountable even for the smallest mistake.