Latest / The Everyday Awesome Project / 132: Intuition or Anxiety? How to Tell the Difference and Trust Yourself

Transcript

132: Intuition or Anxiety? How to Tell the Difference and Trust Yourself · The Everyday Awesome Project

• 0:28
  Polly Mertens: Hey superstars, welcome back.
• 0:29
  Polly Mertens: Polly here.
• 0:30
  Samantha Pruitts: And Sam Pruitt.
• 0:32
  Samantha Pruitts: What's up, beautiful humans?
• 0:34
  Samantha Pruitts: What's up?
• 0:35
  Samantha Pruitts: Hey, let's talk today about that woo-woo intuition.
• 0:39
  Polly Mertens: Yes.
• 0:40
  Polly Mertens: Yeah.
• 0:41
  Polly Mertens: Lots of stories are good.
• 0:44
  Samantha Pruitts: Lots of stories coming up.
• 0:46
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah.
• 0:46
  Samantha Pruitts: I think we've both had some experiences or have been around people with some experiences lately of, you know, one thing I'll just throw into the space is one of my favorite lines.
• 0:54
  Samantha Pruitts: Learn this one the hard way is I was like, okay, when I heard that, I was like, okay, that's pretty much my life, which is good judgment comes from bad judgment.
• 1:07
  Polly Mertens: Yes, it does.
• 1:08
  Polly Mertens: Good judgment.
• 1:09
  Polly Mertens: And so, you know, taking that and valuing those opportunities to develop not just intuition, but plenty of other muscles.
• 1:18
  Polly Mertens: But intuition being one of those muscles that will literally help you build your life rather than running the other way.
• 1:28
  Samantha Pruitts: And what if it is a muscle or like a highway, you know, or a trail that gets like either ignored or leaves grow over it or whatever, or it's like a super highway to your intuition, right?
• 1:38
  Samantha Pruitts: Or a like a big old muscle.
• 1:39
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like, I got that thing, you know, like I've you've got it when you need it, right?
• 1:43
  Polly Mertens: So that's what we're pitching today, basically, is it can be a super strength, a superpower, you know, a highway to all kinds of not only a better decision-making process, right?
• 1:56
  Polly Mertens: But a pathway to achieving all kinds of goals and ultimately success and satisfaction too, right?
• 2:03
  Samantha Pruitts: Mm-hmm.
• 2:03
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, you were saying, you know, before we went on air about how you have a lot, you know, you you have good judgment now.
• 2:11
  Samantha Pruitts: You have an intuitive muscle.
• 2:13
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, right.
• 2:13
  Samantha Pruitts: And and so I was like, well, I think that came from a lot of years and a lot of mistakes we've both made.
• 2:18
  Samantha Pruitts: I'm sorry, you know.
• 2:19
  Polly Mertens: I mean, but it's I was not born with that.
• 2:23
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah.
• 2:23
  Samantha Pruitts: Well, I think we're all born with it, but we, you know, we get so busy in our teen years, you know, looking at other people and what what does the crowd say and what does the tribe say or whatnot.
• 2:35
  Samantha Pruitts: And we just kind of acquired our own intuition, right?
• 2:37
  Samantha Pruitts: It's not something that I think there's some people definitely.
• 2:41
  Samantha Pruitts: I was listening to something earlier today that was like about basically like fly your freak flag.
• 2:46
  Samantha Pruitts: It was like, man, the the there's so much going on in the world that is trying to make you vanilla and normal and you know, homogenize you and get you into the mean.
• 2:54
  Samantha Pruitts: And it's like you have to fight, you have to have so much energy to stay outside the mean and stay true to your path, stay true to whatever, you know, like it just wants you to be average, wants you to be in the nexus of that.
• 3:07
  Samantha Pruitts: And there's these trailblazers, and I think those that either listen to it early on, we see them, you know, take a whole different trajectory, or later in life.
• 3:16
  Samantha Pruitts: They they just, you know, I know a lot of women our age just sort of wake up and go, this done with all of y'all.
• 3:22
  Samantha Pruitts: Like I'm done with pleasing and all that stuff.
• 3:26
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah.
• 3:27
  Polly Mertens: Yeah.
• 3:27
  Polly Mertens: I mean, I feel like, yeah, you're born with the capabilities to use that muscle, but it is through life that it's really developed, right?
• 3:36
  Polly Mertens: It's like endless bicep curls.
• 3:39
  Samantha Pruitts: Endless.
• 3:40
  Samantha Pruitts: Mm-hmm.
• 3:41
  Samantha Pruitts: Mm-hmm.
• 3:41
  Samantha Pruitts: And a lot of sweat and tear, you know, that bad judgment is like a lot of mistakes along the way.
• 3:47
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, you were talking about like, I was like, well, we have a couple of recent examples, and then you helped me remember like lots more examples of my life of.
• 3:56
  Samantha Pruitts: Oh, yeah, I did make that bad judgment with that person or that job or that whatever, you know.
• 4:02
  Polly Mertens: And maybe we should out of the gate just say so an example of not listening, and we will thread stories in, but is an overriding of that signaling that I think we both agree it can manifest very quickly in the body before it hits the brain, right?
• 4:20
  Polly Mertens: So there can be an energetic or a body or a body system-wide response, almost, if you will.
• 4:27
  Polly Mertens: We keep saying gut instinct, but really it's not placed in your stomach or your intestines or whatever, right?
• 4:34
  Polly Mertens: It's not hidden in there like some little button, you know, that somebody's pushing, but it can be absolutely a physical response.
• 4:41
  Polly Mertens: The reason it's a physical response is your nervous system is activated.
• 4:45
  Polly Mertens: You know, we can go on about the nervous system when we have, but anyway, that's one of the entryways or trigger points is through the nervous system.
• 4:53
  Polly Mertens: So you'll feel it in your physical body.
• 4:55
  Polly Mertens: And that instinct, rather than just calling it gut instinct, that full body instinct then very slowly can percolate up to your brain waves and create some sort of communication or not.
• 5:09
  Polly Mertens: And that can happen in so many different instances.
• 5:11
  Polly Mertens: I mean, you and I were giving examples before we started, but literally, you know, we did talk about scams and people being taken advantage of online or otherwise, you know, bad relationship decisions, work environments where you were not in agreement with what was transpiring.
• 5:27
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, there's just endless amounts of life experiences where that intuition is your goal, your guide.
• 5:38
  Polly Mertens: It is a pathway for sanity on how to move forward, you know.
• 5:42
  Polly Mertens: And so many of us just don't put enough value in it.
• 5:46
  Samantha Pruitts: Well, and I think at least I'll speak from first person, is definitely through my eating disorder years, the disconnect between what was above my head and what was below.
• 5:56
  Samantha Pruitts: There's just like like the body was not a thing that I spoke to or connected with.
• 6:02
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, if anything, I was there was a shame about it.
• 6:05
  Samantha Pruitts: There was uh always trying to perfect it, trying to get it to do something or be something that it wasn't.
• 6:10
  Samantha Pruitts: And because of that, I treated it like crap, right?
• 6:13
  Samantha Pruitts: So, you know, for those of us that have that disconnect from, you know, we think we're all just up in this head, you know, all of us is all of us being our greater self, if you will, lives between our ears.
• 6:23
  Samantha Pruitts: It took me a lot of years to realize, oh no, there's the whole dynamic here.
• 6:28
  Samantha Pruitts: And the body has so much wisdom.
• 6:31
  Samantha Pruitts: So, and you know, the signals are, I would say, yes, we can tap into a level of wisdom through our brain and our mental capacity, but what and where in our body, as you've studied and I've studied different practices of where other wisdom comes from, especially if we if you believe in some sort of higher self or God self or whatever your beliefs are, you know, how you tap into that is probably not coming through your quote, brain or your mind.
• 6:58
  Samantha Pruitts: It's probably not, you know, but we use that sucker like it's the knife and the tool belt, and everything is up there.
• 7:05
  Samantha Pruitts: And, you know, what you're pointing to is not really.
• 7:09
  Polly Mertens: And as if it's the boss of us, which is also hilarious.
• 7:12
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah.
• 7:13
  Polly Mertens: And whatever crazy ideas, however, they got up there, you know, that's kind of comical.
• 7:17
  Polly Mertens: That we would think that they should just be running the show, which of course that's just not really how it works, right?
• 7:23
  Polly Mertens: Yeah.
• 7:23
  Samantha Pruitts: Well, I mean, it does, you know, there's a part of that ego that's like it has ideas and all sorts of things that it wants to create and goals and like, wouldn't this be nice?
• 7:31
  Samantha Pruitts: And magical, you know, fairy tales or, you know, real things that we want to get up to.
• 7:36
  Samantha Pruitts: And yet our intuitive wisdom, like the whole body wisdom of like, really, what you know, I'm not here to say that we have a karma that's tied to something before we came in and you can't change that or something.
• 7:48
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like, oh, there's a script, and if you don't have it from your body, then you're not on track or whatever.
• 7:53
  Samantha Pruitts: But I think there is like a dynamic going on, right?
• 7:56
  Samantha Pruitts: So, yes, have ideas, have goals, have use your imagination, all of that.
• 8:00
  Samantha Pruitts: And there's this beautiful thing called your intuitive body that has signals it's trying to send you, especially like ones to keep you out of bad situations.
• 8:10
  Samantha Pruitts: Harm's way.
• 8:11
  Samantha Pruitts: Harm's way.
• 8:12
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, yeah.
• 8:13
  Polly Mertens: So we'll just a couple examples.
• 8:15
  Polly Mertens: Both of us uh have know people have had experiences, many people, with you know, being taken advantage of financially, whether it's through weird dating apps or fraud or online anything.
• 8:26
  Polly Mertens: You know, that whole space is just so dark and toxic right now.
• 8:30
  Polly Mertens: Yeah.
• 8:31
  Polly Mertens: And I think there was a show, and I think it's called Catfish or something like that, but there was like a series of these women on this actual documentary where they had all been taken advantage of through online dating.
• 8:43
  Polly Mertens: And I remember exorbitance, dudes, exorbitant amount of money.
• 8:47
  Polly Mertens: Yes, mind-blowing.
• 8:50
  Samantha Pruitts: And I just hundreds of thousands of dollars.
• 8:53
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, yes, exactly.
• 8:54
  Samantha Pruitts: Like a suitor, like a guy came on hard, like he was like, you know, Joe Gigolo or something like that.
• 8:59
  Samantha Pruitts: And you're I remember that documentary, I know what you're talking about, yeah.
• 9:03
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, and it got them, yeah.
• 9:06
  Polly Mertens: Right.
• 9:07
  Polly Mertens: At what point did they not have some sense?
• 9:10
  Polly Mertens: And of course they do unpack their stories, and they all say there was a point where I was just absolutely new.
• 9:15
  Polly Mertens: No, this is wrong, but I was doing it anyway.
• 9:18
  Polly Mertens: Right.
• 9:18
  Polly Mertens: So it's just not honoring themselves, their truth, their needs, all of these things, and then completely overriding their gut instincts, their intuition.
• 9:28
  Polly Mertens: Right.
• 9:29
  Polly Mertens: That's an extreme example of it.
• 9:32
  Polly Mertens: Okay.
• 9:33
  Samantha Pruitts: You know what, as you were saying that, something that just translated, because you and I both have experiences and stories of either ourselves or other people.
• 9:40
  Samantha Pruitts: One of the ones where I was, quote, taken advantage of, or I, you know, let myself be taken advantage of.
• 9:45
  Samantha Pruitts: I was buying festival tickets on like a Facebook group or something, something like that.
• 9:50
  Samantha Pruitts: And then it quickly, and then it was like, all of a sudden, you know, the the time constraint starts to get there.
• 9:55
  Samantha Pruitts: Well, you know, I could sell this to other people.
• 9:56
  Samantha Pruitts: I was like, oh, you know, and the tickets were going fast or whatever.
• 9:58
  Samantha Pruitts: And it was like, blah, blah, blah, you know, and that just and and it seemed legit, seemed legit, but and then it was like a Western Union.
• 10:06
  Samantha Pruitts: And that's when I was like, what?
• 10:07
  Samantha Pruitts: Who uses Western Union?
• 10:09
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, like that's should have been my like, I mean, it probably was if I pause, but it was like, get the ticket, get the ticket kind of moment.
• 10:16
  Samantha Pruitts: Is where do we isolate in those moments where there's either shame or time constraint?
• 10:24
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, like a couple of the stories you and I were talking about before on air, or like this one.
• 10:27
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, if I had had somebody to talk about and go, hold up, let me let me just go in the other room and like, hey, I'm about to make this transaction with somebody, you know, what do you think?
• 10:35
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, but we or these women who probably have been seeing these guys and maybe they pull them away from their friends.
• 10:41
  Samantha Pruitts: I think that's kind of a common strategy is like they get them out of their friend circles and stuff like that.
• 10:47
  Samantha Pruitts: So they can't isolation.
• 10:49
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah.
• 10:49
  Samantha Pruitts: Predators will isolate.
• 10:51
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah.
• 10:51
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah.
• 10:52
  Samantha Pruitts: So it's, you know, if you have that, those time constraints or those, you know, intensive moments or whatever, it's like intuition doesn't move like that.
• 11:00
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, I think we should talk a little bit about like what the the feelings are, the experiences are.
• 11:04
  Samantha Pruitts: We can go into, you know, ways to start using and strengthening this muscle.
• 11:09
  Samantha Pruitts: But do you want to tell us some more stories?
• 11:11
  Samantha Pruitts: Any that you Yeah.
• 11:13
  Polly Mertens: I mean, I have another example.
• 11:14
  Polly Mertens: It was somebody right now, I I was expressing to you who I care deeply about.
• 11:18
  Polly Mertens: They're ill, they have a disease state, and they're trying to process it in their way, the information, how much information do they want to read, study, research, you know, drug options, surgery options, different options for them to get treatment, et cetera, et cetera, right?
• 11:36
  Polly Mertens: And that process is very individual.
• 11:39
  Polly Mertens: The person who is the one fighting for their life deserves the time and the space to go through this in their own way and have the support, but not be pushed or, you know, intimidated.
• 11:52
  Polly Mertens: The doctors can do that, loved ones can do that.
• 11:54
  Polly Mertens: I've seen it over and over and over.
• 11:56
  Polly Mertens: You know, we got to make this decision.
• 11:57
  Polly Mertens: This is the right decision.
• 11:58
  Polly Mertens: It's like, okay, hold, hold up.
• 12:00
  Polly Mertens: And in this instance, you know, a loved one is pressuring them to digest all this information and make a quick decision, and we've got to move forward and all this stuff.
• 12:10
  Polly Mertens: And it's not, it's causing a lot of conflict, but I'm, you know, the intervening health advocate or whatever you want to call me in this instance, saying, you know, really we need to not be doing that.
• 12:20
  Polly Mertens: Yes, let's make sure this person has resources for information they're willing and ready to receive at their own pace, and then someone to talk to about it, right?
• 12:30
  Polly Mertens: Where there isn't fear, anxiety, and intimidation or a strange dynamic.
• 12:35
  Polly Mertens: And then and then supporting them to be able to listen to their intuition and their own physical body response around how they want to move forward.
• 12:46
  Polly Mertens: And then the the rest of the people and players in their life, including doctors in medical care, right?
• 12:53
  Polly Mertens: Respecting that patient, that person's process, et cetera.
• 13:00
  Polly Mertens: And like they were getting pushed to even do tests that they didn't want to do, you know, that were gonna be very painful and very invasive and may or may not give us any information.
• 13:10
  Polly Mertens: Like it was just getting nutty and expensive.
• 13:13
  Polly Mertens: I'm not saying that that wasn't the right decision for some people.
• 13:17
  Polly Mertens: Some people want that path, and that is what they prescribe to do.
• 13:22
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, okay.
• 13:23
  Polly Mertens: I'm also cool with that.
• 13:24
  Polly Mertens: That's their style of being in the world, right?
• 13:26
  Polly Mertens: But for many of us, that's not the case.
• 13:28
  Polly Mertens: So that's an example of I'm so happy to bear witness and be a facilitator of sort in this experience, allowing this person to really listen to their intuition and honor their own wishes.
• 13:42
  Samantha Pruitts: For sure, for sure.
• 13:43
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, that it sounds like the other person might be in a state of fear or lack or anxiety or something, you know, predicting some outcome that they don't want to experience, you know, the the loss of this person, the discomfort of, you know, like, no, you need to say, like, you know, let's get you some some answers quickly.
• 14:00
  Samantha Pruitts: Whereas it's that's not their journey.
• 14:02
  Samantha Pruitts: Yours is separate.
• 14:04
  Polly Mertens: So exactly.
• 14:05
  Polly Mertens: Exactly.
• 14:05
  Polly Mertens: Do you have any other examples of either people you know who haven't listened to their intuition or maybe they have exceptionally well?
• 14:12
  Polly Mertens: Like I just gave an example of somebody really doing a good job there.
• 14:16
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah.
• 14:16
  Samantha Pruitts: Well, I would love to hear yours, because like you said, you know, early on, maybe not making some.
• 14:21
  Samantha Pruitts: And now, like, I mean, I know you to be so fast at like no, you know.
• 14:26
  Samantha Pruitts: So one of the things that I started to think about in the background, and this is a whole other topic, and we don't have to go too deep into it, but you know how I'm really fascinated with like human design and gene keys, which is a whole nother world of energy, bodies, and stuff like that.
• 14:39
  Samantha Pruitts: And let's just say, you know, one of the things is as a certain type.
• 14:43
  Samantha Pruitts: So there's like six types, I think, or something, what's called a generator.
• 14:47
  Samantha Pruitts: And so my my is it my solar plexus?
• 14:50
  Samantha Pruitts: Wait a minute.
• 14:51
  Samantha Pruitts: Oh, that doesn't sound right.
• 14:53
  Samantha Pruitts: It's lower sacred, say, sacral energy, right?
• 14:55
  Samantha Pruitts: So my my yeses and my no's come from sacral energy, like uh-huh.
• 14:59
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, like like a like a like a like if I'm a yes for it, I'm gonna yes for it right away.
• 15:04
  Samantha Pruitts: And and so like if someone comes to me with a question, intuitively you might say, or I have a yes or no, whether I swallow that down or shut it down or mentally start going into rehearsal of, you know, well, I'm gonna go like this and that or whatever.
• 15:18
  Samantha Pruitts: But if I don't tell it away.
• 15:20
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, I mean, you're you're a nice friend, Jen.
• 15:22
  Samantha Pruitts: I love you, Jen.
• 15:23
  Samantha Pruitts: She's really good at reminding me of like, if it's not a hell yes, or you too, like if it's not a hell yes, then it's a no.
• 15:28
  Samantha Pruitts: And it's like, you know, and we love to go upstairs into the mind and rationalize all the things, right?
• 15:35
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, how could this work?
• 15:35
  Samantha Pruitts: And right.
• 15:37
  Samantha Pruitts: And so we'll get into ways to stay in touch with that intuition.
• 15:40
  Polly Mertens: But yeah, I think you see it a lot in friend groups, right?
• 15:43
  Polly Mertens: So we're giving in a positive example in our friend group because we are no longer young, you know, highly influenced females.
• 15:51
  Polly Mertens: We are pretty developed in our truth and our vision and what we stand for and all of that kind of stuff.
• 15:56
  Samantha Pruitts: That's authentic to us.
• 15:57
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah.
• 16:02
  Polly Mertens: I'll speak for myself when I was younger and I was in a peer group, you know, many times I would adjust to the peer group, and I would probably many times also be the one causing negative, you know, opportunities for the peer group.
• 16:17
  Polly Mertens: I have that one too.
• 16:21
  Samantha Pruitts: Exactly.
• 16:21
  Samantha Pruitts: I'm like, this is a damn good idea.
• 16:23
  Samantha Pruitts: You need to do this.
• 16:24
  Polly Mertens: You know, yeah.
• 16:26
  Polly Mertens: And that can happen when we're younger, again, in peer groups and relationships and stuff, or even in family environments where we don't feel really strong about standing up for ourselves or whatever.
• 16:38
  Polly Mertens: But now, you know, all these years later, and really so I learned many experiences the hard way that way.
• 16:44
  Polly Mertens: But now I do see it still show up in grown adults in a work environment.
• 16:49
  Polly Mertens: And it's almost like those old patterns of theirs are playing out now outside of a peer group sort of thing, outside of a family unit, and to this family, uh, sorry, this work family or this work team kind of environment where they're still making compromises to their own knowing and wisdom, integrity, really.
• 17:09
  Polly Mertens: You know, that's to me what intuition is me knowing what I stand for and then standing for it with integrity.
• 17:17
  Polly Mertens: Like that's what it is to me.
• 17:19
  Polly Mertens: But the people I do see them compromising that because they still want to belong, they still want to fit in.
• 17:25
  Polly Mertens: Doesn't matter their age, they still want to be seen a certain way.
• 17:29
  Polly Mertens: It is part of their identity, you know, um, or be valued.
• 17:34
  Polly Mertens: They don't want to be devalued, right?
• 17:36
  Polly Mertens: So they're willing to ignore that intuition.
• 17:41
  Polly Mertens: And to me, at this point in my ripe old age of 57, there is no way in heaven.
• 17:48
  Polly Mertens: Like I there's not even an inch and zero.
• 17:53
  Polly Mertens: So, but I just have like spidey senses around this now, and it's probably because it was breached so many times, and somehow I kept myself alive, and here I am.
• 18:02
  Polly Mertens: So I just it's just a no for me, you know.
• 18:05
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, one of the things is you were saying that about peer groups and stuff.
• 18:07
  Samantha Pruitts: I was thinking back to my college friends that I see about once a year, and we still are in, you know, text text talks and stuff like that.
• 18:16
  Samantha Pruitts: And all of them followed the get a stable job, you know, that kind of a path with whatever, you know, retirement was the goal and steady and yeah.
• 18:26
  Samantha Pruitts: And and I show up to these events and I'm always like, here's what I'm doing now, you know, and it's just like so, I mean, I'm just like bouncing off the walls, rebel, mavericky, trying stuff, you know, constantly.
• 18:39
  Samantha Pruitts: And and as I, you know, you said a couple of words that I want to touch on.
• 18:43
  Samantha Pruitts: One is like compromise and comparing.
• 18:45
  Samantha Pruitts: And so I have a when my anxiety shows up or that side of me that is not my intuitive self, I do this really good job of comparing.
• 18:54
  Samantha Pruitts: I go, wow, look at it over there.
• 18:56
  Samantha Pruitts: Look at their life over there.
• 18:57
  Samantha Pruitts: It it doesn't, and my intuition is like, oh hell no.
• 19:01
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, like I couldn't do, you know, and I've tried the stable job and stable this, whatever, and just lock yourself in almost feels like a cage to me.
• 19:10
  Samantha Pruitts: And it's like, can't frickin' do it, right?
• 19:13
  Samantha Pruitts: And so my intuition is so it's such a strong, it's not a whim, it's just a it's a hell no for that, you know.
• 19:21
  Samantha Pruitts: But it's also like alluring to look at the the compromise I'd be making in my life to quote fit in, to, you know, have the same as they have, and I have something different or whatever.
• 19:33
  Samantha Pruitts: But I have trusted that intuitive, yeah, you gotta do, you gotta trust that.
• 19:38
  Samantha Pruitts: Like we're who knows?
• 19:39
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, and you and I, especially this year with this study of a year to live.
• 19:43
  Samantha Pruitts: The more I think about it, I'm like, is my life look like this or that person or whatever?
• 19:48
  Samantha Pruitts: Like one of the hap persons I know that has the most money right now is one of the un most unhappy, stress-out people that I know.
• 19:53
  Samantha Pruitts: And I'm like, and then I look back at my life and I go, I have such a beautiful life.
• 19:58
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, I'm happy, I feel good, my body is good, I have friendships, all in all this richness that doesn't equate to their bank account.
• 20:06
  Samantha Pruitts: And I wouldn't trade a penny of it for what their life looks like right now, right?
• 20:11
  Polly Mertens: And that's we're getting at the core of what intuition is, right?
• 20:14
  Polly Mertens: Which is you have such great clarity at this point about who you are in the world, your value system, and the type of life you want to live, intentional, purpose-driven life, that it's just a no.
• 20:32
  Polly Mertens: Exactly.
• 20:33
  Polly Mertens: No, right?
• 20:33
  Polly Mertens: So that's the part of you that responds to that when you start doing the comparison, I would imagine.
• 20:38
  Samantha Pruitts: And I was gonna say when the comparison, which is never fucking hell.
• 20:42
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like one of my favorite lines, Oprah, when she was like, How did she say it?
• 20:47
  Samantha Pruitts: She's had this one thing that was like when she was coaching her team and when she had the Oprah show and she had a bunch of really high-powered women producers, right?
• 20:54
  Samantha Pruitts: And so they would come to her pitching stories and stuff like that.
• 20:57
  Samantha Pruitts: And this is when the Oprah show was on the way up, not as established as it was.
• 21:01
  Samantha Pruitts: And they would look at the outside and see like two or three other show hosts that talked about this or talked about that.
• 21:08
  Samantha Pruitts: And she's like, Look, we are running like it was.
• 21:11
  Samantha Pruitts: She was like, it's like a horse race.
• 21:13
  Samantha Pruitts: She's like, You're in your lane.
• 21:15
  Samantha Pruitts: You just run in your lane.
• 21:16
  Samantha Pruitts: That's you you put those freaking blinders on, you do not look left, you do not look right, run your race.
• 21:22
  Samantha Pruitts: And I was like, fuck, yeah, like run your race.
• 21:25
  Samantha Pruitts: And you and I know this, right?
• 21:26
  Samantha Pruitts: When we do literal races, right?
• 21:30
  Samantha Pruitts: If I try to run somebody else's race, I fall on the ground.
• 21:34
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, I'm like, okay, can't keep up with that person.
• 21:36
  Samantha Pruitts: Run my race, run my race, right?
• 21:38
  Samantha Pruitts: Mm-hmm.
• 21:40
  Polly Mertens: Aligned, you know, authentically aligned.
• 21:42
  Polly Mertens: It's so good.
• 21:43
  Polly Mertens: It's so good.
• 21:44
  Polly Mertens: And the breach of that is nothing but suffering.
• 21:48
  Polly Mertens: On the other side of it is nothing but suffering.
• 21:52
  Polly Mertens: Yeah.
• 21:52
  Polly Mertens: Okay.
• 21:52
  Polly Mertens: So let's talk about.
• 21:56
  Polly Mertens: We've told some kind of horrific stories without getting into detail, a few of them might we could get into more.
• 22:00
  Polly Mertens: It might pop back up.
• 22:02
  Polly Mertens: But if somebody wants to develop this muscle, let's help them start today.
• 22:08
  Polly Mertens: First of all, they know they already have it, right?
• 22:11
  Polly Mertens: It's just a matter of now we got to start flexing it and developing those things so it can help guide your life.
• 22:16
  Samantha Pruitts: So I would say three practical ways to train.
• 22:19
  Samantha Pruitts: Your intuition, right?
• 22:20
  Samantha Pruitts: Like if it's a muscle or a highway, a superhighway or whatever you want to call it, right?
• 22:25
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah.
• 22:25
  Samantha Pruitts: Develop it, right?
• 22:26
  Samantha Pruitts: Like I said in the beginning, where I was for many, many years eating disorder days of like, I didn't even know there was a body down here.
• 22:33
  Samantha Pruitts: Like there were like a connection, right?
• 22:35
  Samantha Pruitts: So, um, and there's a great book.
• 22:37
  Samantha Pruitts: Oh, what's her name?
• 22:38
  Samantha Pruitts: Glenn Glennon Doyle Melton.
• 22:40
  Samantha Pruitts: She has a chapter in one of her books.
• 22:42
  Samantha Pruitts: I'm trying to remember the name title of it right now.
• 22:44
  Samantha Pruitts: Untamed.
• 22:45
  Samantha Pruitts: Untamed.
• 22:46
  Samantha Pruitts: Great chapter she goes into how she developed her intuition and she did it like this story.
• 22:52
  Samantha Pruitts: Do you remember the story?
• 22:53
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, like she went in the closet.
• 22:55
  Polly Mertens: Go for it.
• 22:55
  Samantha Pruitts: So, and I may flub this because it's been years since I've read it, but it was like she would go into the closet and be still with herself and like start practicing listening, deep, you know, deep listening, let's call it.
• 23:08
  Samantha Pruitts: And you've got things that you're gonna throw in here, Buddhism and stuff like that.
• 23:12
  Samantha Pruitts: And then she would, and so she did that for months and months, you know, like going through some fucking hard stuff with divorce, and she found out she was gay and, you know, all this stuff that she was like working through.
• 23:21
  Samantha Pruitts: And at one point, she you know, instead of being able to go into the closet or whatever at home for 15 minutes, hour, whatever she was taking to do that intuitive listening, she finds herself at a meeting, like a board meeting or something.
• 23:34
  Samantha Pruitts: She's got like all these people sitting around and they're like, What do you think?
• 23:36
  Samantha Pruitts: Right.
• 23:37
  Samantha Pruitts: Or there's this moment that comes to her to decide something.
• 23:39
  Samantha Pruitts: And she, like in her brain, you can hear her thinking.
• 23:41
  Samantha Pruitts: She's like, Can I go to the bathroom?
• 23:43
  Samantha Pruitts: But whatever.
• 23:44
  Samantha Pruitts: And she just had practiced it for so long.
• 23:46
  Samantha Pruitts: She just like dropped down into her, where it kind of sounded like she like sort of dropped down into her well, like her inner well, got the answer.
• 23:54
  Samantha Pruitts: And she's like, and then from then on, I knew I always had it with me.
• 23:57
  Samantha Pruitts: It wasn't in the closet, right?
• 23:59
  Samantha Pruitts: I so one of the things I would say is like, notice that first whisper, not that mental debate that goes on, you know.
• 24:06
  Samantha Pruitts: So we would say intuition shows up, it's fast, it's quiet, and it's clean, right?
• 24:12
  Samantha Pruitts: So it's more like a subtle yes or no in your body than like some analyzing, arguing, second guessing.
• 24:19
  Samantha Pruitts: Like it's not gonna sound like this mental chatter.
• 24:21
  Samantha Pruitts: It's gonna feel more like a warm.
• 24:23
  Samantha Pruitts: Well, how do you experience it?
• 24:26
  Polly Mertens: What is your I think it's just so quick.
• 24:30
  Polly Mertens: Sometimes it's hard to notice it and not override or try to schluck it off.
• 24:36
  Polly Mertens: Yes.
• 24:36
  Polly Mertens: I do see people do that a lot, right?
• 24:39
  Polly Mertens: And I would say it's quick because it manifests in the body immediately, and then it starts traveling up, trying to make its way.
• 24:48
  Polly Mertens: You know, you're trying to sort of get your feet on the ground a little bit, is what it can feel like.
• 24:56
  Polly Mertens: Sometimes it can be very subtle like that, and sometimes it can literally be like, oh, hell no.
• 25:02
  Polly Mertens: So it can have really varying degrees of that.
• 25:05
  Polly Mertens: That's why that quietness and that listening is so important.
• 25:09
  Polly Mertens: I want to just add to the front of that is like the first thing I think the human should do, or what I do, is to pause at the first sign, the first inclination of that.
• 25:23
  Polly Mertens: Okay.
• 25:24
  Polly Mertens: That could be the environment I am in is giving me the inclination that I might need to be making a different decision or a decision in that space, right?
• 25:35
  Polly Mertens: That could be a work, a hard conversation, a work environment, whatever, something high stakes or higher, you know, or it could just be I'm walking along with my life, and all of a sudden, you know, through online or some external thing comes at me and shocks me a little bit, wakes me up, if you will, and then my body responds to that.
• 25:54
  Polly Mertens: So the first thing for me is the pause.
• 25:57
  Polly Mertens: And with the pause is always the breath.
• 26:00
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah.
• 26:01
  Polly Mertens: So if I find I'm holding my breath, you really have already gotten hijacked.
• 26:05
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah.
• 26:05
  Polly Mertens: Okay.
• 26:06
  Polly Mertens: So then it's a matter of, oh shit, I've been hijacked by my nervous system, if you will.
• 26:11
  Polly Mertens: Let me calm myself down, pause, and then I will move on to the next step.
• 26:18
  Polly Mertens: So that to me is step one.
• 26:20
  Polly Mertens: And you were going to step my step two, which is basically to then start reflecting and unpacking.
• 26:28
  Polly Mertens: Now you can do that yourself through your own internal dialogue and conversation, which means you might have to leave and lock yourself in a closet or a bathroom.
• 26:36
  Polly Mertens: I have totally used bathroom stalls many, many times.
• 26:40
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah.
• 26:41
  Polly Mertens: In work environments, a lot.
• 26:43
  Polly Mertens: Like, oh, I'm going to the bathroom.
• 26:46
  Polly Mertens: This is about to be a clusterfuck.
• 26:48
  Polly Mertens: I'm going to the bathroom and I'm going to sort this shit out, and then I'll come back recalibrated what I think is the next step.
• 26:54
  Polly Mertens: So I've utilized that quite a bit.
• 26:56
  Polly Mertens: Um, but it can also be writing stuff down.
• 26:59
  Polly Mertens: So taking out a pen and paper and doing a list.
• 27:02
  Polly Mertens: You you mentioned a list.
• 27:04
  Samantha Pruitts: Yes.
• 27:05
  Polly Mertens: That you utilized, right?
• 27:07
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah.
• 27:07
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, as you were talking, one of the things I was thinking about is the I want to, the word isn't severity, but the scale or size of the decision you're about to make, you should equate that to a longer time frame, too.
• 27:20
  Samantha Pruitts: Like if this thing has days, months, years implication, thousands of dollars, whatever, give yourself more time to make sure you're in tune with your wisdom, right?
• 27:31
  Samantha Pruitts: And yeah, so one of the things I like to do when it like I can remember a time when we were going to move.
• 27:38
  Samantha Pruitts: I think I did it once moving cross country, and then once moving into another apartment.
• 27:42
  Samantha Pruitts: I was like, okay, well, what are, you know, and I and I wasn't clear.
• 27:44
  Samantha Pruitts: I was like, I think I want this, right?
• 27:46
  Samantha Pruitts: And I made a pros and cons list of like, but like, what if we did that?
• 27:51
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, I think it had like four quadrants.
• 27:52
  Samantha Pruitts: It was like, if we did it, what are the pros, what are the cons of doing it?
• 27:55
  Samantha Pruitts: If we don't, what are the pros and the cons?
• 27:57
  Samantha Pruitts: And it got out all that.
• 27:59
  Samantha Pruitts: I mean, I know that's a mental process, but it's like it helps the intuition knows when it can see it because your mind can only hold on to so much information, right?
• 28:07
  Samantha Pruitts: And especially, especially depending on the state that you're in, right?
• 28:12
  Samantha Pruitts: Like you've talked about this, you know, the places that I've been in where I made poor choices of either like an anxious state or a and I feel under pressure or not the the luxury of time, then you know, you get into that because you know, one of the things I know is when emotions are up, when they're high, I mean, and they can be in high in a lot of different ways, negatively high, whatever, intelligence goes down.
• 28:34
  Samantha Pruitts: We just lose connection, right?
• 28:36
  Samantha Pruitts: But I think it's a practice too, you know, it's a practice of that slowing down, like you said, taking in the small wins with smaller decisions.
• 28:45
  Samantha Pruitts: And I think Glennon Doyle Melton talked about how she would like use that practice on small things, not extremely big, you know, like move the family across country.
• 28:54
  Polly Mertens: You're just building the muscle.
• 28:56
  Polly Mertens: Okay.
• 28:56
  Polly Mertens: You know what's so fun about what you said is that whole like pros and cons listing is so undervalued, so underutilized.
• 29:05
  Polly Mertens: Okay, people think it's dumb and dorky.
• 29:07
  Polly Mertens: Well, we probably learned this, or I'll just speak for myself.
• 29:11
  Polly Mertens: I learned this in business when I was a young woman in business, right?
• 29:15
  Polly Mertens: So my first business, I was literally freaking 18 years old, right?
• 29:18
  Polly Mertens: So very quickly, it's like, wait, what's going on?
• 29:21
  Polly Mertens: So all these like basic skills around making decisions for my life or my business at that point, you know, were like pros and cons, pros and cons, pros and cons.
• 29:34
  Polly Mertens: Even then, I made some bad decisions, but it doesn't matter.
• 29:37
  Polly Mertens: At least I went through the process and the work, right, of trying to know what is the right decision here.
• 29:44
  Polly Mertens: And there's so there are methodologies that are underutilized.
• 29:48
  Polly Mertens: And then there's also the other thing, you know, the obvious, talk to someone you trust.
• 29:54
  Polly Mertens: Hell.
• 29:55
  Polly Mertens: People are so hesitant to actually discuss with another human that they trust and respect to get some ideas.
• 30:04
  Polly Mertens: I just spent a couple hours with the gal I was telling you about, and we were just flushing out two intelligent, well-educated women.
• 30:12
  Polly Mertens: You know, she's relatively new to my cyberspace here, my space of friends or whatever.
• 30:17
  Polly Mertens: And the conversation was so lovely and wonderful and fun.
• 30:20
  Polly Mertens: And I learned all kinds of things, and she learned all kinds.
• 30:22
  Polly Mertens: These people are around every corner, not the kind who were enforcing their ideas on you, the kind that you can dialogue with and have intelligent exchange.
• 30:33
  Samantha Pruitts: And you know, really from my study last year of communication courses, right, with the landmark work, I'll just say that what was so valuable, one of the valuable things was it's not so much that you need a sounding board, like, hey, tell me your ideas, and you may need that at times, right?
• 30:48
  Samantha Pruitts: The ability for you to communicate, I can't tell you what you pick up on your own body when it comes out of your mouth.
• 30:55
  Samantha Pruitts: It's almost like you hear yourself, you feel yourself, you have the experience of sharing, and you go, Oh, I already know that's a bad idea.
• 31:03
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, or or like, wow, I I have more clarity because it's vibrated through me out in the world instead of this mental masturbation upstairs, right?
• 31:13
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like, oh, that really sounds like a stupid thing.
• 31:17
  Samantha Pruitts: Never mind.
• 31:18
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, or the person doesn't even have to say anything, doesn't have to judge or give ideas or whatever, but it's just you hearing yourself is really good.
• 31:28
  Polly Mertens: Oh my God, it's enormous.
• 31:30
  Polly Mertens: This gal, I was telling you about who's got this illness and is in this battle for her life, really.
• 31:35
  Polly Mertens: Like our conversations are just letting her speak and letting her be heard and seen with complete non-judgment and respect and compassion and just like the opening of the space, right?
• 31:50
  Polly Mertens: Isn't this really why humans exist and why we're evolved over animal species?
• 31:55
  Polly Mertens: I mean, what the hell isn't this it?
• 31:58
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, communication, yeah.
• 32:00
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, and and I think what you're pointing to is a really beautiful way if you're not yet tuned in enough or don't feel like you're tuned in enough to the messages from your body, from your higher self, from your wisdom, whatever you want to call it, speaking can, you know, speaking it, sharing it, and journaling too.
• 32:17
  Samantha Pruitts: I think there's a lot to be said.
• 32:18
  Samantha Pruitts: I get a lot when I just journal and I go, well, that where did that stupid story come from?
• 32:23
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, or oh, I'm so much more clear because it gets a little garbled in the mind, right?
• 32:28
  Samantha Pruitts: And so I think those two great exercises and activities are a great way for you to allow your intuition to be a part of the process, right?
• 32:37
  Polly Mertens: Yeah.
• 32:37
  Polly Mertens: And if there are really decisions you're not ready to share with someone, I think journaling is the is the way.
• 32:44
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah.
• 32:46
  Polly Mertens: You know, and we both obviously give journal assignments to people and are about journaling.
• 32:50
  Polly Mertens: But like I am just thinking I'm going to visit a friend this weekend who is also in a cancer battle for his life.
• 32:56
  Polly Mertens: And like I really want to encourage him to be writing and expressing, you know, because he's he's holding so much emotional charge around all of this because it's a very scary time, you know.
• 33:08
  Samantha Pruitts: So I want to give a possible journal prompt and there's probably 10 we could give, but now that we've brought touched on this, I just want to say so.
• 33:14
  Samantha Pruitts: One of my favorites is really open-ended questions.
• 33:17
  Samantha Pruitts: So, like, so choose your topic or whatever.
• 33:20
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, and open open-ended question could sound like, what do I think about this?
• 33:25
  Samantha Pruitts: Or, you know, what is what is the wisdom that I intuitively know about this, right?
• 33:30
  Samantha Pruitts: And just, and I find, and you've probably, I think it's um Julia Cameron, maybe in her, you know, books on being an artist and stuff like that, but like just writing until you can't write anymore.
• 33:41
  Samantha Pruitts: And what that means is just receiving, right?
• 33:43
  Samantha Pruitts: Like receiving all and oh, maybe it's um who's the woman, uh Elizabeth Gilbert, I think she advises on this, is like you write some a question at the top of the page, you allow, and then you go, and is there anything else?
• 33:56
  Samantha Pruitts: And you just listen and you feel for what comes through.
• 33:59
  Samantha Pruitts: Anything else I want to know about that?
• 34:01
  Samantha Pruitts: Or and it's funny, you know, like and you don't edit.
• 34:05
  Samantha Pruitts: That's the big thing.
• 34:06
  Samantha Pruitts: No editing, no, just like whatever comes out, like or the thought or the whatever.
• 34:10
  Samantha Pruitts: And I've done this before, and you sometimes you do it like timed and for speed, like you because you just want to get to the depths of the mind, the intuitive, you know, like all the underbellies of things.
• 34:22
  Samantha Pruitts: And if you filter, or if you do it with judgment, or you know, if you don't give yourself enough time and breath to really get to it, sometimes like a minute or two in, all kinds of random stuff pops up.
• 34:32
  Samantha Pruitts: And you're like, wow, I didn't even know I was believing that or thinking that way, or I felt about that, right?
• 34:40
  Polly Mertens: In Buddhism, there's a process called noting.
• 34:43
  Polly Mertens: Basically, it's like the pause, the breath.
• 34:47
  Polly Mertens: Okay.
• 34:47
  Polly Mertens: So connecting your brain, your mind, your emotions with the physical body on the planet on the earth.
• 34:55
  Polly Mertens: You know, we also call it like taking off your shoes and getting rounded.
• 34:59
  Polly Mertens: So if we're gonna go up to a thing, we take off our shoes and we get rounded.
• 35:02
  Polly Mertens: Like there's this whole thing, right?
• 35:03
  Polly Mertens: And then after that, it's like I'm I'm having an experience.
• 35:07
  Polly Mertens: I'm gonna noting is a practice, basically.
• 35:09
  Polly Mertens: So it's a bruise practice, and you can look it up.
• 35:12
  Polly Mertens: And it's been around forever.
• 35:14
  Polly Mertens: But the very short story is that you're just simply without emotional attachment, judgment, stories, drama, witness.
• 35:23
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, like the witness.
• 35:24
  Polly Mertens: You're just noting.
• 35:26
  Polly Mertens: I am noting I feel this in my belly or in my back or tension in my neck.
• 35:33
  Polly Mertens: I am noting that I feel a certain emotion when I'm talking to this person about this thing, or this experience I am noting has made me feel a certain way, or whatever.
• 35:45
  Polly Mertens: So you're you're simply noting, and you do that through journaling.
• 35:49
  Polly Mertens: Um, and it is a kind of a type of meditation, but basically it's a noting practice.
• 35:53
  Polly Mertens: It's really beautiful.
• 35:54
  Polly Mertens: Anyone can do it, it's totally free.
• 35:58
  Samantha Pruitts: Love it.
• 35:58
  Samantha Pruitts: I love it.
• 35:59
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, and so much is it's and it's not like, oh, this, that, this.
• 36:03
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like you're it's for yours to discover.
• 36:06
  Samantha Pruitts: I'm sure every noting practice or every noting session, it's gonna look a little different, it's gonna sound a little different, the things that come up.
• 36:11
  Samantha Pruitts: So it's just a way to discover what you may not be tapped into, right?
• 36:16
  Samantha Pruitts: Or you may not have a super highway to that information or wisdom.
• 36:19
  Samantha Pruitts: And I I definitely think, I mean, I've got some friends and us, you know, we've we've been along this path of intuition, that it's like right there, you know, like like boom, it's you know, it's like their guide on their shoulder.
• 36:31
  Samantha Pruitts: It's not like some far off, like what, you know, like a like a long-distance phone call.
• 36:36
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like, nope, right there.
• 36:37
  Polly Mertens: Yep.
• 36:37
  Polly Mertens: Okay, so I'm kind of a ninja.
• 36:39
  Polly Mertens: When you practice this a lot, you're really good at it.
• 36:41
  Polly Mertens: Another journal prompt, and that would go to like my next thing is what I want to say is you can either choose to make a decision or you can choose not to.
• 36:51
  Polly Mertens: You should never feel like you have to make a decision in that moment.
• 36:56
  Polly Mertens: There's almost nothing, unless this is a life or death situation.
• 36:59
  Polly Mertens: And obviously, you're you're hanging by your fingernails here.
• 37:02
  Polly Mertens: But we have this idea that everything is urgent and on fire and needs to be dealt with immediately, blah, blah.
• 37:08
  Polly Mertens: But this is again all these stories that either society or we've told ourselves.
• 37:12
  Polly Mertens: That's 99% of the time is not accurate.
• 37:15
  Polly Mertens: So you can choose to make a decision, and I'll give you a prompt for that, or you can choose simply not to decide.
• 37:21
  Polly Mertens: But if you want to make a decision in this instance, and you've done these other things we've talked about, a good journal prompt or question to ask would be, what would love have me do now?
• 37:33
  Samantha Pruitts: That's very Elizabeth Gilbert.
• 37:34
  Samantha Pruitts: Yes, yes, yes.
• 37:36
  Polly Mertens: And what would that asking that question is not only so beautiful to give yourself that gift of asking yourself that question, but it very quickly cuts right to right to it.
• 37:50
  Polly Mertens: Okay.
• 37:51
  Polly Mertens: Because you can't answer that unhonestly.
• 37:55
  Polly Mertens: You like you just can't violate that.
• 37:58
  Polly Mertens: So then the answer is gonna be, I'm choosing to do nothing, or love would have me choose this thing that is right, right?
• 38:08
  Samantha Pruitts: I love that because it's making the decision from your heart space, not your head space, you know, because you don't have 36 reasons why and the poster board of like, oh, this is what everybody else would do.
• 38:17
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like you're tapped into your connection to love as you define it, right?
• 38:22
  Samantha Pruitts: And this isn't romantic love.
• 38:23
  Samantha Pruitts: This is, you know, the pure essence of light and love that you are, right?
• 38:26
  Samantha Pruitts: So I love that question.
• 38:28
  Samantha Pruitts: I love it.
• 38:29
  Polly Mertens: Is there anything else you'd add to the process or practice of building this intuitive muscle for humans?
• 38:37
  Samantha Pruitts: Not there was something that I was thinking of, and I as soon as I got enrapped in your in your ideas, I was like, I love that idea.
• 38:45
  Polly Mertens: So I'll bring it, I'll circle back and you basically said repetitive practice fucking up.
• 38:53
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, I mean, just keep doing it, right?
• 38:57
  Polly Mertens: So just by showing up and doing the work called humaning, right?
• 39:03
  Polly Mertens: Like you're gonna get so many opportunities rather than I'm gonna live over here this very boring, conservative, quiet life because all of that shit scares me.
• 39:13
  Polly Mertens: Nope.
• 39:14
  Polly Mertens: Don't do that.
• 39:17
  Polly Mertens: Don't do that.
• 39:18
  Polly Mertens: You'll wake up one day at whatever age and look back with great regret.
• 39:25
  Polly Mertens: So that is not a strategy to develop this intuitive muscle at all.
• 39:29
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, I would say the last thing I would share, I think on this, well, another way of looking at it is from my mentor, Linda.
• 39:35
  Samantha Pruitts: Linda, who says, if it's light, if it feels light, it's right.
• 39:39
  Samantha Pruitts: If it feels heavy, it's not for you.
• 39:41
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, so just noticing, does it give you levity?
• 39:43
  Samantha Pruitts: And this is where I think Elizabeth Gilbert would say something like, Everything comes from love, right?
• 39:48
  Samantha Pruitts: Like it's love or fear.
• 39:49
  Samantha Pruitts: And that's, you know, a lot of wisdom talks about that.
• 39:51
  Samantha Pruitts: So does the answer bring you closer to love or light, right?
• 39:56
  Samantha Pruitts: Does it make you feel light about doing it?
• 39:58
  Samantha Pruitts: And that could be nothing.
• 39:59
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like, I feel better, you know, your friend is like, I don't want to make those choices, or I don't want to hear that, or I don't want to do that test, or whatever.
• 40:06
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like, that doesn't feel light to me.
• 40:08
  Samantha Pruitts: Fantastic, right?
• 40:09
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, okay, that's your truth, right?
• 40:11
  Samantha Pruitts: And if it feels heavy or like, you know, and there are times, you know, there's this blend between the doing hard things because there's growth inside of it, you know, which is like, well, wait, I thought it was supposed to feel light.
• 40:23
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like, yeah, you know, I think we know when, well, we know when there's something that is in our best interest.
• 40:31
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like, oh, that is gonna be hard, you know, like making that call or whatever.
• 40:35
  Samantha Pruitts: But my truth is that's that's the right choice for me.
• 40:39
  Polly Mertens: Not 100%, dude.
• 40:41
  Polly Mertens: And I would say, you know what's freaking hard?
• 40:44
  Polly Mertens: If you want to be doing hard things, follow your intuition.
• 40:47
  Polly Mertens: You want to do hard things, live your life by that, knowing that that is grounded in your values, your purpose, your mission, all the things that make you who you are, uniquely you in this one moment, in this one body, in this one life.
• 41:04
  Polly Mertens: Like, damn, you do that, you're doing hard shit on the daily.
• 41:09
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, and when you say that, it makes me think of you know, everything you want lives on the outside of your comfort zone, right?
• 41:16
  Samantha Pruitts: And so there's so much that wants to bring us back to that medium, bring us back to the norm, bring us back into the comfort zone, which actually, if you ask me, lives inside of the subconscious mind.
• 41:25
  Samantha Pruitts: Your comfort zone, your box that you put yourself in is your subconscious zone.
• 41:29
  Samantha Pruitts: And think about how much life and the things that feel uncertain or whatnot.
• 41:35
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, but it probably teases you and tickles something inside of you to go, well, what if, right?
• 41:40
  Samantha Pruitts: But if we go with comfortable, like, oh, certainty, but our soul is calling for everything that's outside that comfort zone, everything that's outside of the normal or known.
• 41:50
  Samantha Pruitts: What if, right?
• 41:52
  Samantha Pruitts: And you and I are an invitation to that all day long, right?
• 41:54
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, hey, get out on the branches, you know, where get out, get out into nature, get out into where not everybody is.
• 42:02
  Samantha Pruitts: There's probably something there for you, you know.
• 42:05
  Polly Mertens: Totally, totally.
• 42:06
  Polly Mertens: And the more you have that intuition, I'll give an example of like I'm gonna be doing this John Muir trail, right?
• 42:11
  Polly Mertens: So 250 miles, I'm across the Sierra Nevadas by myself with 30 plus pounds on my back.
• 42:18
  Polly Mertens: Okay.
• 42:18
  Polly Mertens: Many people are like, Well, have you done that before?
• 42:20
  Polly Mertens: No, of course I haven't.
• 42:22
  Polly Mertens: Like, what makes you think you're gonna be able to do it?
• 42:25
  Polly Mertens: Really?
• 42:26
  Polly Mertens: Have you met me?
• 42:27
  Polly Mertens: But anyway, I'm gonna give you a whole laundry list of those things, right?
• 42:30
  Polly Mertens: But at the core of that, the foundational built Sam Pruitt core of that is I freaking trust my intuition to make the right decisions and execute to the best of my skill set, to the best of my ability, whatever needs to happen next.
• 42:53
  Polly Mertens: Okay, and next is literally one mile at a time, up and down the van, you know, day after day.
• 42:59
  Polly Mertens: And and I'm not saying I'll do it perfectly, but the trust is there, and that trust is what actually will get me to the starting line of any hard thing, including this, over and over and over.
• 43:12
  Polly Mertens: And that only comes from inside this.
• 43:15
  Polly Mertens: Nowhere else.
• 43:17
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, that reminds me of some of my coaching that I've done with eating disorder clients or addiction, you know, largely, because the trust gets eroded during an addictive phase or a you, you know, the you could even do it in a phase where it doesn't feel like an addiction, but it feels like you you're doing things that you're you know you shouldn't be, like eating sugars that you know aren't good for you, or I know I need to go to the gym, I know I need to work less, whatever, right?
• 43:39
  Samantha Pruitts: Call it an addiction.
• 43:41
  Samantha Pruitts: Is when I start with clients because the trust is so self-erodic, because I've been there, right?
• 43:48
  Samantha Pruitts: Rebuilding that self-trust model, like it's like a little bank account.
• 43:51
  Samantha Pruitts: I mean, you and I have talked about this on other episodes.
• 43:53
  Samantha Pruitts: It's those small wins, right?
• 43:55
  Samantha Pruitts: Like those small ways that you start to, you know, get up and do what you said you were gonna do.
• 44:00
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, if you said you're gonna do, like, I mean, I remember the time I've told this story on our podcast before.
• 44:04
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like I said I was gonna do 10 X amount of weight lifts or whatever, and I get to nine and it's hard, and I got 10 in me, and I don't just like go, ah, no he's looking, but like it's you and you, right?
• 44:15
  Samantha Pruitts: Those little you that's self trust is and And it's in, I would say it's in those small wins that the big wins, the big decisions, those moments where something is more critical, more urgent, more, you know, it's gonna make a bigger impact in your life.
• 44:30
  Samantha Pruitts: You've built that trust.
• 44:32
  Samantha Pruitts: I mean, like you're about to take yourself, like you said, on an expedition that has a lot of risk, that has a lot of uncertainty, that has a lot of joy and amazingness, but you're willing to do that because you know you trust yourself if you get into trouble, or you whatever whatever, you know, and you're taking precau, I mean, like you've got all sorts of, you know, fail-safes or you know, you're not walking out on the Yeah.
• 44:52
  Samantha Pruitts: And there's different people I'd say that when we look at people that take what seem like seemingly significant risks, like free solo, you know, people doing solo rock climbing and stuff like that, to them, that's a risk that they've banked.
• 45:04
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, they've got trust in themselves, whatever that is.
• 45:06
  Samantha Pruitts: So yes, yes, yes.
• 45:07
  Samantha Pruitts: So if it's light, if it feels light, it's right.
• 45:10
  Samantha Pruitts: And little small wins, you know, practice these with little things.
• 45:13
  Samantha Pruitts: And I think some of it too is like your intuition.
• 45:16
  Samantha Pruitts: So I would say one of the other things is like check in after the fact, like build your intuition track record, right?
• 45:22
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, they they, you know, like I feel like this person was trustworthy or not trustworthy.
• 45:27
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, how are your how's your track record with making decisions as you start to build this muscle, right?
• 45:31
  Samantha Pruitts: Like I should wait or I should act.
• 45:33
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, how did that turn out?
• 45:35
  Samantha Pruitts: You know?
• 45:35
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, yeah.
• 45:37
  Polly Mertens: If one of your hot spots is, you know, dating or relationships, then you know that's an area that needs some time and attention, a different strategy.
• 45:48
  Polly Mertens: Okay, but again, then go back to the drawing board in that area.
• 45:51
  Polly Mertens: And as you get better at that, you will get better at that.
• 45:55
  Polly Mertens: It's it comes with everything, you know, it comes with everything and every little decision that's made.
• 46:00
  Polly Mertens: I love that you're talking about stacking wins, like over the course of the day, how many times you trust your intuition and then you know, progress on to the next chapter or thing or whatever.
• 46:13
  Polly Mertens: Looking back and being honest about that and feeling really good about it, acknowledging yourself for that.
• 46:19
  Polly Mertens: Hey, I really gave myself this space and trusted myself with my intuition on this, and it worked out.
• 46:26
  Polly Mertens: So acknowledging and having awareness about these wins.
• 46:30
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, for sure, for sure.
• 46:31
  Samantha Pruitts: Strengthen that highway, that super highway to it.
• 46:33
  Samantha Pruitts: And lastly, I would say separate intuition from anxiety.
• 46:37
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, that's a little bit of that, like how what would love do, right?
• 46:41
  Samantha Pruitts: So anxiety is fear-based, right?
• 46:43
  Samantha Pruitts: It's it's you know, fight or flight or something.
• 46:45
  Samantha Pruitts: So anxiety is, I would say, loud, it's repetitive, it's like future focused, like what if, like doomsday, you know, like, oh, if I do this thing.
• 46:53
  Samantha Pruitts: And as we talked about in the beginning of this conversation, it's like love and light and intuition are at a pace of calm and ease and everything's okay.
• 47:06
  Samantha Pruitts: And I would just say, like, it has your well-being in mind.
• 47:08
  Samantha Pruitts: If if a voice or an energy or something sounds like like a panic or a must-do or take action, you know, like if it feels frenzied or any of that, that's not a place of love.
• 47:20
  Samantha Pruitts: Like that's not the frequency, that's not the space the well-being lives in that I think we naturally and our intuitive our highest self operates from.
• 47:31
  Samantha Pruitts: So check that, you know, if you've got this anxiousness, this must do, or like you had mentioned that person, or there's, you know, people we know, or I did, like when I was buying that ticket, I was like, I gotta get this ticket now.
• 47:42
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, yeah, and it's like, hold up, right?
• 47:45
  Samantha Pruitts: So am I operating from anxiety, or am I, you know, does this feel tight and urgent, or or does it feel like, yeah, it's quiet, it's steady, certainty, you know.
• 47:56
  Polly Mertens: Exactly.
• 47:56
  Polly Mertens: On the other end of the anxiety spectrum, you know, if you feel a numbness, that is also not good.
• 48:04
  Polly Mertens: Because it means that you've sort of checked out and you're gonna make the decision or do the thing based on not really doing the work to be connected to your own truth instinct and move forward, right?
• 48:20
  Polly Mertens: And you will see people, especially in very hard situations.
• 48:23
  Polly Mertens: I have also watched a lot of this lately, where they are just checked out.
• 48:28
  Polly Mertens: I don't know, you guys decide.
• 48:31
  Polly Mertens: I don't know, whatever.
• 48:32
  Polly Mertens: This whole like whatevering.
• 48:33
  Polly Mertens: That's that's a no-go.
• 48:36
  Samantha Pruitts: That's giving away your power, yeah.
• 48:38
  Samantha Pruitts: And and some of that could be like they're afraid of making the decision, being the one to make the decision.
• 48:42
  Samantha Pruitts: What you were starting to say, I was thinking is about like they don't have enough information, you know.
• 48:46
  Samantha Pruitts: Like if if there's just no clarity and you don't feel one way or the other, if you just sort of feel in the middle, like perfect, wait, yeah, get some more information.
• 48:54
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, I I would think, but what you're talking about is pointing to something different, so that's important too.
• 49:00
  Samantha Pruitts: Damn, girl.
• 49:02
  Samantha Pruitts: What else?
• 49:02
  Samantha Pruitts: Good morning.
• 49:04
  Samantha Pruitts: Nope, that's good for doing just another day in earth school here.
• 49:09
  Samantha Pruitts: Lesson one-on-one on intuition.
• 49:12
  Samantha Pruitts: And I'm just gonna, my my one thing on the back end of this is the thing that it was in the beginning of this, and that's good judgment comes from bad judgment.
• 49:21
  Samantha Pruitts: You know, so you know, make some of those, and then small wins, good good judgment comes from like strengthening that muscle, you know, learning what intuition feels like for you and and being coming from love.
• 49:34
  Samantha Pruitts: So, how about you?
• 49:35
  Samantha Pruitts: What's your one thing?
• 49:36
  Polly Mertens: Just give yourself the gift of the pause and the breath, right?
• 49:39
  Polly Mertens: Like it takes a freaking second.
• 49:42
  Polly Mertens: No, and nobody even needs to notice what you're doing, like you can do it in any environment.
• 49:48
  Polly Mertens: I've done it in very high-stakes business negotiations, really, like you know, and I'm like, okay, nobody really knows what I'm doing right now, but I'm gonna be meditating over here because I'm getting crazy.
• 50:02
  Polly Mertens: I need to just keep myself calm.
• 50:06
  Polly Mertens: You know what I mean?
• 50:07
  Polly Mertens: So, like, take the pause, take the breath, or just or leave the room and hide in the bathroom.
• 50:12
  Polly Mertens: That's all that works too.
• 50:14
  Samantha Pruitts: For sure.
• 50:15
  Samantha Pruitts: I'm like, hi, Jacked, I'll be back.
• 50:17
  Polly Mertens: Bye.
• 50:17
  Samantha Pruitts: Yeah, yeah.
• 50:18
  Samantha Pruitts: And so I hope you'll take on some of these things that we've shared with you.
• 50:22
  Samantha Pruitts: Practice this, like bring this into your life, you know, the journaling, the speaking with other people, you know, pausing if you're, you know, triggered, or if you're you've got that something that feels like it's compelling you to do something.
• 50:33
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like, no, love and you know, lightness, they don't come from an urgency.
• 50:37
  Samantha Pruitts: They never do, right?
• 50:39
  Samantha Pruitts: They're all about everything, all is well.
• 50:41
  Samantha Pruitts: Is like when I go into my meditation and I ask for wisdom from my guys, first answer, always the first.
• 50:46
  Samantha Pruitts: It's like, really?
• 50:47
  Samantha Pruitts: That's the first answer every time is all is well.
• 50:49
  Samantha Pruitts: I'm like, okay, got that memo.
• 50:51
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, literally, as I write it on my jar, I'm like, okay, anything all is well.
• 50:55
  Samantha Pruitts: Okay, it's like they want me to say that first, and then we can go into your answer.
• 50:58
  Samantha Pruitts: Like, yeah.
• 50:59
  Polly Mertens: Um, you know, that's just the you might have to tattoo that on your wrist.
• 51:03
  Samantha Pruitts: I I've already got, I mean, I've heard it so many times.
• 51:06
  Samantha Pruitts: So I'm getting the memo.
• 51:10
  Samantha Pruitts: Yes, my dear.
• 51:12
  Samantha Pruitts: All right, what do you want to tell them that we always tell them?
• 51:16
  Polly Mertens: Oh gosh, how how all of ours, me included, messy and crazy, and however your life looks, it's not that damn important.
• 51:25
  Polly Mertens: It's how it feels.
• 51:27
  Samantha Pruitts: How it feels, amen.
• 51:28
  Samantha Pruitts: And every day is your opportunity to find your awesome.