Latest / The Trauma Therapist / GUEST HOST Veronique Mead with Euphrasia (Efu) Nyaki

Transcript

GUEST HOST Veronique Mead with Euphrasia (Efu) Nyaki · The Trauma Therapist

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  Speaker 1: Welcome to the special guest host series of the Trauma
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Thevers podcast, where I'm going to be handing over the
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  Speaker 1: mic to some incredible guest hosts. In each episode, you'll
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  Speaker 1: hear fresh perspectives and unique insights to inform and inspire
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  Speaker 1: you in all the while keeping the heart of this
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  Speaker 1: podcast alive. So sit back and enjoy.
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  Speaker 2: Hello everyone, my name is Veronique Mead, and thank you
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  Speaker 2: so much to Guy McPherson of the Trauma Therapist Project
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  Speaker 2: for inviting us. I'm here with Euphrasier Niaki, who was
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  Speaker 2: born and raised in Tanzania, and she is a faculty
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  Speaker 2: who teaches somatic experiencing and also family constellations work IFU,
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  Speaker 2: I am so glad to have you here with us today.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you so much, Veronique. When I read your message,
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  Speaker 3: I was very happy that I was able to find
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  Speaker 3: the time for you.
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  Speaker 4: Hi.
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  Speaker 2: I'm glad too, Yeah, because you teach all around the
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  Speaker 2: world and you've been in Brazil for the past thirty years.
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  Speaker 2: You were co founder of a healing center called Afia Yes,
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  Speaker 2: and I learned partly about your work. My own is
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  Speaker 2: working with folks with chronic illness and the trauma connection
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  Speaker 2: and what I really wanted you to share with us
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  Speaker 2: today is your chapter in your book the kind of
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  Speaker 2: work you do with asthma, and I'm thinking about adults
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  Speaker 2: with asthma and the components of.
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  Speaker 3: Work that you do. Thank you, yes, thank you very much, Vironiki,
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  Speaker 3: I'll go right into this spot. Yeah, because I was
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  Speaker 3: very when I was writing my book. I decided to
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  Speaker 3: include asthma because it's something that I have worked with
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  Speaker 3: with many people. So I had a good examples that
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  Speaker 3: I could put in a book so that this will
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  Speaker 3: be important to help people around. Yeah, So that was
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  Speaker 3: the major reason to put this chapter in the book.
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  Speaker 3: So I have encounter a lot of people, children or
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  Speaker 3: adults that have asthma, and they're going to crisis a lot.
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  Speaker 3: And when they go to crisis, actually when they have
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  Speaker 3: something that reminds them of the trauma itself the encounter
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  Speaker 3: and often time I will put it that way. Oftentimes
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  Speaker 3: the people whether as children or adults, have asthma, they're
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  Speaker 3: the people who had had trauma, developmental trauma, and they
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  Speaker 3: were separated from their mother at some time. And actually
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  Speaker 3: it's not just from the baby stage. For me, I
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  Speaker 3: have learned more that those who are separated at a
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  Speaker 3: certain age, for example, our a year and a year
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  Speaker 3: and a half, Between a year and a year and
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  Speaker 3: a half up to two years, this is the time
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  Speaker 3: the child has already begin to understand, you to know
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  Speaker 3: the mother. The mother is leaving, the mother is coming back.
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  Speaker 3: And then of course when they are separated, there is
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  Speaker 3: some kind of frustration and anger that coupled together fear, frustration, anger,
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  Speaker 3: and that is it's like a shock trauma. And this
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  Speaker 3: shock trauma shocked their system and especially the lungs because
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  Speaker 3: when they cry, they're not able to take in the
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  Speaker 3: air and that suffocates their lungs and they actually get
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  Speaker 3: inflammation because that affects direct to their lungs and they
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  Speaker 3: have inflammation. And so once they have that, that comes
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  Speaker 3: back and back. Many times. It can be you know,
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  Speaker 3: you can go to the hospital or to the hub
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  Speaker 3: health posts and get some medication, but it doesn't heal
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  Speaker 3: because you have to touch into the roots. Yeah, So
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  Speaker 3: this in a way what I'm talking about here, This
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  Speaker 3: in a way, it is a shock trauma at the
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  Speaker 3: same time it is a developmental trauma. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: The timing is a big part of it.
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  Speaker 3: The timing is a really.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, earlier, not Ellie like babies sometimes when okay, those
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  Speaker 4: two were separated from their mothers at the baby stage,
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  Speaker 4: like they're.
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  Speaker 3: Just born and separated, they might have asthma, but it
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  Speaker 3: heals more easily. Even the person who are that those
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  Speaker 3: children will take them at the early stage, taking them
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  Speaker 3: care of them. Here and Brazil, they take them to
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  Speaker 3: the beach early morning and have that energy of the
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  Speaker 3: salt and air. They really heals their asthma right away
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  Speaker 3: because that comes from the sadness. But when they're in
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  Speaker 3: that stage where they actually recognizing a little bit, my
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  Speaker 3: mother did this to me, or my mother separated to me,
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  Speaker 3: I don't, they get very confused because they cry so
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  Speaker 3: much when they can see the mother moving away or
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  Speaker 3: the grandmother taking them or the aunt taking them. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: and that is very painful for them. So that's sadness.
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  Speaker 3: Sadness they cut down, they shut down the breathing process,
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  Speaker 3: and therefore what happened to their lungs, You know, the
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  Speaker 3: lungs are completely affected and therefore they remain like that.
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  Speaker 3: And so every time they remember their mother or they
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  Speaker 3: remember the episode, the dramatic episode, then they start having crisis. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: whoever is taking care of them, could do all the
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  Speaker 3: less they can, but still doesn't hear because they need
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  Speaker 3: to heal, they need the connection with their mothers. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: so when I receive these kind of people with asthma,
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  Speaker 3: I don't take them during the crisis because during the
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  Speaker 3: crisis just give them there. You know, we have tea
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  Speaker 3: herbal teas. Here, we have mad therapy that worm their
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  Speaker 3: their lungs and it's it's like your mama's your mother's
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  Speaker 3: touch whatever because it's warm mad therapy. But then as
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  Speaker 3: they get better, then we can actually work with them.
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  Speaker 3: And what we do the most is to help them
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  Speaker 3: to reconnect with their mother. So now since at that
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  Speaker 3: age two two and a half years old, they they
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  Speaker 3: are they create some kind of tantrum and a very
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  Speaker 3: anger it's really anger and resent with their mother. Therefore,
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  Speaker 3: it is very hard for them even to just advise
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  Speaker 3: them that, you know, you know, like to just pridge
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  Speaker 3: like you know, forgive your mother or let go of this.
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  Speaker 3: It's not easy. So what we do here and now,
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  Speaker 3: so we do somatic experiencing where they cannotice their body.
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  Speaker 3: They can take deep breaths very gently. They can notice
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  Speaker 3: when they are going to have crisis and they can
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  Speaker 3: notice when they can get better. So the somatic experiencing
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  Speaker 3: in a way is helping them to learn how to
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  Speaker 3: deal with the moments of crisis, to deal with the
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  Speaker 3: moment when they are going to go into this process,
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  Speaker 3: and that they can bring themselves out of it. Now
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  Speaker 3: for completely healing, we actually use Family Constellations System therapy
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  Speaker 3: and Family Consolation System therapy has what we call the
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  Speaker 3: oders of love, orders of love, Goddess of love. Orders
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  Speaker 3: of love are wonderful. Really, I love them. I think
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  Speaker 3: I think it's a spiritual it's a path, spiritual path
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  Speaker 3: because we talk the orders of love. As bet Hellinger,
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  Speaker 3: who is the founder of Family Consolation System Therapy speak
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  Speaker 3: or put it, these are the orders that are among us,
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  Speaker 3: all that we can observe in the nature and among ourselves,
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  Speaker 3: so that love can flow.
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  Speaker 4: Mm hm.
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  Speaker 3: For the love to flow, one should earner reverence there
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  Speaker 3: those who can be for them mother, father, ancestors and
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  Speaker 3: so forth or even all this is reverencing, yeah, reverencing
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  Speaker 3: so much. Yeah. And the second order. So when you
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  Speaker 3: do that, the love flows and people feel very holistic,
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  Speaker 3: they feel illed. And the second order of love is
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  Speaker 3: that everybody has a right to belong and to belong
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  Speaker 3: at the right place. It's a justice to make sure
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  Speaker 3: that we let people belong. We allow people to belong,
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  Speaker 3: and we also make sure we have our own rightful place.
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  Speaker 3: Because when we allow everybody to belong, then love also flow.
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  Speaker 3: When there's somebody excluded, love stops there where there's an exclusion,
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  Speaker 3: So everybody has to be included to behold and then
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  Speaker 3: the love flows. Yeah. So that is the second order
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  Speaker 3: of love. And the third order of love is that
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  Speaker 3: we will have to learn how to receive from our
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  Speaker 3: parents and give to the world what we have been
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  Speaker 3: given from our parents. We don't give it back to
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  Speaker 3: the parents at all, because they're big, they have enough.
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  Speaker 3: We give it to the world and the world give
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  Speaker 3: it back to us. So now we create harmony of
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  Speaker 3: balance between receiving and giving. Yeah. So when we use this,
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  Speaker 3: this adult might have so much anger, so much frustration
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  Speaker 3: with their mother because probably the mother had many children,
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  Speaker 3: she had two, she had this child, and while she's
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  Speaker 3: still breastfeeding, then another child comes, so the grandmother said,
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  Speaker 3: come on this one, I can help you to raise. Well.
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  Speaker 3: Of course the mother, the grandmother is doing a big service,
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  Speaker 3: but the mother, the child is pulled out from the
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  Speaker 3: mother before it's ready for that. So that's where the
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  Speaker 3: big anxiety and pain and resentment comes in. And then
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  Speaker 3: not create the asthma that because it's a shock to
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  Speaker 3: the assistant and psychologically they already know what's going on
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  Speaker 3: somehow and that's what's happened. So now you know, just
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  Speaker 3: telling them you have to respect to your mother is
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  Speaker 3: not enough. But if you begin to bring the awareness
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  Speaker 3: of the orders of love and they actually do it,
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  Speaker 3: like I have an example in the book of course
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  Speaker 3: in the chapter I put there. So for example, if
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  Speaker 3: you do that, you're asking your client, she said, no,
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  Speaker 3: my mother what she did? She she didn't want to
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  Speaker 3: keep me. No, I don't want to talk to her.
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  Speaker 3: I don't want to see her. I'd rather stay with
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  Speaker 3: my crisis with usma. Yeah, And then we just say, okay,
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  Speaker 3: now according to these orders, if you do just do that,
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  Speaker 3: if just let your head go down slowly, very gently,
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  Speaker 3: there you go. Did you see there was a deeper breath.
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  Speaker 3: It's akasing to that deeper breath immediately help them to
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  Speaker 3: feel better in their life. So the breath comes in
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  Speaker 3: when we allow our head to go down gently. And
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  Speaker 3: this movement of going down is really what we call reverencing. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: like recognizing that they came before us. I have to
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  Speaker 3: bend a little bit. So when they begin like that
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  Speaker 3: and they feel read a feel good, they said, ah, okay,
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  Speaker 3: well is that always Well we can begin with that
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  Speaker 3: because they already feel good in their physiology, you see
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  Speaker 3: what I mean. So they go, they go, they go down,
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  Speaker 3: and then they feel really good. They say, Wow, maybe
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  Speaker 3: I can stay like this all the time and from
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  Speaker 3: this from this place, from this place, that's where they
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  Speaker 3: actually feel like, Yes, I can say thank you to
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  Speaker 3: my mother from that place, from that place.
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  Speaker 2: Because part of the challenge I suspect and from people
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  Speaker 2: I know with asthma, it's not known. A lot of
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  Speaker 2: the time, people have no idea that there's any connection
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  Speaker 2: to the past, to the mother, to feelings to overwhelm,
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  Speaker 2: two things that happen as a child. And this is
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  Speaker 2: what I find fascinating about the trauma workers. You're working
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  Speaker 2: somatically with sensation and in the family constellations. You're working
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  Speaker 2: with a system, a bigger system.
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  Speaker 3: A system. Yes, the orders, the orders, and now thank
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  Speaker 3: you for bringing up the whole quest and all the
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  Speaker 3: biggest system because then I'm helping them to connect with
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  Speaker 3: the mother. But then they might say, no, I want
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  Speaker 3: my grandmother. I said, no, okay, yeah, yeah, the grandma
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  Speaker 3: that will come there, but let's let's put her in
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  Speaker 3: the order, right, so you can imagine the mother is here,
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  Speaker 3: you are here in a lower place. Why you're actually Benny,
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  Speaker 3: and above you a little bit, this is your mother,
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  Speaker 3: and above you there's Grandma. So you can actually feeling
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  Speaker 3: them kind of blessing you, like like a waterfall coming
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  Speaker 3: down and the air comes up in the nose. Much better. Really,
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  Speaker 3: when people are in the crisis, they try to go
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  Speaker 3: like this, right, they're looking for air to breathe. The
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  Speaker 3: best way is to help them kind of let the
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  Speaker 3: head come down slowly. But this is already reverencing in itself,
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  Speaker 3: but also biologically, I don't know, anatomically, I think the
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  Speaker 3: nose picks the air from down this, from this way,
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  Speaker 3: from here to even lower. When you go up too much,
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  Speaker 3: the air doesn't come into the nose. Yeah you can
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  Speaker 3: try that, Yeah, yeah, try that and then go absolutely
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  Speaker 3: and notice do you notice that? Yeah? It actually they
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  Speaker 3: discovered this even with the with the COVID when some
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  Speaker 3: most because in India I teach also in India, they
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  Speaker 3: discover that they didn't have any more you call that
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  Speaker 3: ventil you know, too many people. So for some reason
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  Speaker 3: they discover that if they put the client like this,
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  Speaker 3: the client had breathed better. If they you know, all
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  Speaker 3: the patients, if they had them lying like this, the
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  Speaker 3: clients had difficulties in breathing. So they were now putting
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  Speaker 3: their clients like this, and they were able to sell
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  Speaker 3: a lot of clients that way. Wow.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, what I've seen and what you write about in
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  Speaker 2: chapter eight of your book, and your book is called
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  Speaker 2: Let's see Actually where did I write it down?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, are feeling trauma? Oh good, yes, ue trauma healing
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  Speaker 2: trauma from family constellations or through family constellations and somantic experiencing.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, that's it exactly. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Eight.
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  Speaker 2: You talk about this example with Maria Jose Yes, and
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  Speaker 2: how what your work is doing is it's not just
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  Speaker 2: this movement, it's a whole system where you work with si.
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  Speaker 2: With the individual, you did at least six sessions with her,
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  Speaker 2: and then it seemed like she might have been ready,
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  Speaker 2: and then you set her up in a group family
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  Speaker 2: systems setting where you had her pick someone to represent
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  Speaker 2: her mother, and there was a whole processes around that,
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  Speaker 2: and so you're really combining the ancestral component the individual
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  Speaker 2: trauma component.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes, yes, And.
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  Speaker 2: We're coming towards the end, and I wonder if there's
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  Speaker 2: anything else you'd like to say, maybe how this combination
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  Speaker 2: of work works for other symptoms, other illnesses as well.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, I mean I would say exactly, that's You're very right.
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  Speaker 3: How we begin first with individual sessions where you can
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  Speaker 3: talk to clients, you can touch, you can help them
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  Speaker 3: what we call to have felt sense, to feel their
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  Speaker 3: own body, to know how they're feeling. And that's why
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  Speaker 3: those first sessions are really good to prepare them. And
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  Speaker 3: then when they come to a public where there's a
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  Speaker 3: group of people where they're picking up people to represent them,
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  Speaker 3: that is a family consolation system therapy, and they just
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  Speaker 3: actually they just sit and observe, yes, their own behavior
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  Speaker 3: and their own what they have developed after trauma. And
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  Speaker 3: then they can see the person representing them changing and
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  Speaker 3: therefore some something in their courtical brain come into their awareness,
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  Speaker 3: and then they change when they go back. Then if
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  Speaker 3: their mother is a life or not. They're able to
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  Speaker 3: do a little process to connect with their own mother
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  Speaker 3: and then they start feeling better. Yeah, and this is
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  Speaker 3: not only for the ASA, of course, particularly because asthma
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  Speaker 3: is respiratory disease. I kind of mentioned that because breathing
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  Speaker 3: is breathing in is life and mother is life. She's
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  Speaker 3: the one who gave us life. I wanted to make
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  Speaker 3: that connection. Yeah, and it's so beautiful. So when they
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  Speaker 3: just begin to feel life alive and with lots of life,
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  Speaker 3: when they can reverence the life that they were given,
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  Speaker 3: and other diseases come into it really like cancer and mama,
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  Speaker 3: you know the you know, mamma gland cancer, when you
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  Speaker 3: come to that, it also has to do with the mother. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: that's another area we can talk about, but many of
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  Speaker 3: them really we go into this place of reverencing and
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  Speaker 3: then you have a community together and everybody Anyway, I
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  Speaker 3: want to say this this last thing is they are important.
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  Speaker 3: But solations systems there are. It's amazing. It is because
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  Speaker 3: you know, you have a group of people fifteen twenty,
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  Speaker 3: I don't know, in a room, one family constellation heals
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  Speaker 3: everybody who is there and maybe beyond and those who
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  Speaker 3: are not even there, because everybody that who belonged to
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  Speaker 3: that system are healed, and the representative system are healed,
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  Speaker 3: and those who are watching they also say, oh that's
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  Speaker 3: for me. So it's a it's a method that is
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  Speaker 3: healing the whole, the entire society. Yeah, that's very nice.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, thank you if thank you so much.
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  Speaker 3: Why don't you show your book again. There'll be a
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  Speaker 3: link in.
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  Speaker 2: The notes in the show notes and links to your
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  Speaker 2: website and a little more detail about your biography and
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: how you teach all over the world. Thank you so
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: so much.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes, thank you, thank you very much and
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: I'm grateful me too. Yeah. Bye bye